12/04 - FDS RP#1 - A New Home

[kcmcgrath]

OOC: I hate debut rps lol... any feedback is appreciated

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Sometimes in life, you need to take a step back and look at what you've got... sometimes you may be satisfied, other times maybe not so. Sometimes you need to wipe the slate clean and make a new start, a fresh start... sometimes that's what it takes to make you happy. You may need to retreat to a place where nobody knows you, somewhere where you are just a new face in the crowd, not standing out, not drawing attention to yourself... you're just there. Other times you may want to retreat to a place where nobody knows you for the opposite reason. Maybe you want people to notice you, maybe you want to stand out and draw attention to yourself... maybe you want to make an impact.

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I rock back on my chair, taking a drag of my cigarette as one of my best friends, Daniel, returns from the bar and sets our drinks down on the table before sitting down himself in the chair opposite me.

Daniel: "So what's this new place you're working for?"

K.C. McGrath: "WFWF..."

I exhale, the smoke making it's way upwards... curling around the low light hanging above the table as I flick the excess ash from the end of my cigarette into the ashtray.

Daniel: "Is it any good?"

Daniel takes a sip of his beer and places it back onto the table, casting his glance over toward me with an inquisitive look on his face.

K.C. McGrath: "Would I have signed the contract if it wasn't?"

He chuckles slightly, shrugging his shoulders before once again taking hold of his pint glass and raising it to his lips, taking a sip of the ice cold liquid inside of it.

Daniel: "I dunno... you'll take any work you can get."

I take a long drag of my cigarette, slowly exhaling after a few seconds before pressing it into the ashtray, extinguishing it. The smoke once again adding to the atmosphere of the hazy, dimly lit bar.

K.C. McGrath: "Not necessarily... there has to be some kind of benefit in it, it needs to be a company where I can show my potential without fear of being held back. I need to be able to go places."

Daniel: "And you can go somewhere in this WFWF place?"

K.C. McGrath: "I'm pretty confident that I can, yeah."

Daniel: "You're always confident..."

K.C. McGrath: "Of course... if I don't believe in myself, what hope do I have of succeeding?"

Daniel: "Fair point."

I pick up my own drink that is placed on the table in front of me, gulping down the alcohol as Daniel continues to quiz me.

Daniel: "So who are you facing in your debut then?"

K.C. McGrath: "Some guy called Percy..."

Setting the glass back down on the table, I reach into my pocket, pulling out a packet of cigarettes and offering one to Daniel, who takes it.

Daniel: "How much do you know about him?"

K.C. McGrath: "Absolutely nothing..."

Daniel: "So you're f**ked then?"

K.C. McGrath: "Not exactly."

I pull a cigarette from the packet and place it between my lips, striking the lighter and bringing it towards the tip of the cigarette, lighting it.

K.C. McGrath: "I mean, nobody really has the advantage. I know nothing about him, but he can't know much about me either can he? Actually if anybody has the advantage I'd have to say it would be me... he'll probably just think I'm some rookie who isn't to be taken seriously, just some jobber who was signed to fill up the roster a little bit. That's a mistake a few people have made... and I capitalise on it every time."

Daniel: "Don't you think it would help to watch tapes of his matches though? Just so you know what to expect... that way you can be prepared."

I toss the lighter across the table to Daniel, who appears to have misplaced his own. He catches it and lights the cigarette before sliding the lighter back to me.

K.C. McGrath: "I'm already prepared... this is a brand new start for me, a new home if you will... so I'm looking to go in and make an impression, no matter who my opponent is I'm not gonna hold back. I need to go into this match with all guns blazing, show what I can do to make sure that I'm not just going to be overlooked and cast aside."

Daniel: "Yeah exactly... you want to make an impact... so study, it won't hurt to watch a few matches to find out how this guy works..."

He just doesn't get it...

K.C. McGrath: "I don't need to... I'm ready for anything, Dan. It can't be anything more challenging than what I've been through before... I've overcome the odds many times and the odds will undoubtedly be stacked against me here, I'm the new guy... nobody knows who the f**k I am so they won't be expecting me to win. That's the beauty of it all... I'll be making an impact straight away, just showing up out of nowhere and doing it with a bang."

Daniel: "Yeah but you don't wanna get overconfident already... this guy could be amazing, you don't know anything about anyone in the company, don't go in with your mind set on ripping through everybody because that's when you're going to slip up and drop the ball."

K.C. McGrath: "How long have you known me?"

Daniel: "Long enough..."

K.C. McGrath: "Right... and you honestly think I'm gonna drop the ball when I've been given a chance to make something of myself?"

Daniel: "If you're not careful then yeah, there's a possibility... don't get ahead of yourself..."

K.C. McGrath: "I'm not gon... hold on a second..."

I lean back in my seat and pull out my cellphone from the pocket of my jeans after feeling it vibrate, indicating an incoming call. A smile creeps across my face as I look down at the called ID before answering.

K.C. McGrath: "Hey, what's up?"

...

K.C. McGrath: "Yeah, no problem."

...

K.C. McGrath: "Alright, sure... I'm on my way. See ya soon."

I hang up the phone and stand up, finishing the remainder of my beer and putting out my cigarette.

Daniel: "Where you going?"

K.C. McGrath: "I gotta go... that was an important call I'd been waiting for all day."

Daniel: "Who was it?"

K.C. McGrath: "A friend."

I take my jacket from the back of the chair and pull it on as I head over to the door before turning back around to face Daniel.

K.C. McGrath: "I'll catch up with you later."

Daniel: "Yeah, whatever."

I quickly turn back around, zipping up my jacket as I walk out of the bar.

[Revvie®]

^Personal Protege

I know you were struggling with this since it was your debut here, no worries, i know once you get going your going to be fine.

Over all for a debut i thought the rp came off pretty well. I think the biggest lack in this one was the description. Your speech came off nicely and everything flowed well. For a debut im proud of you

Revvie

[kcmcgrath]

Thankies

I know I could've added more description... but it took me like 5 hours to even get the thing started haha.

Next one will be better ;D

Leeeeeeese

[Calvin]

first person description.....keep that, I like it. But you gotta like, create more of a setting in it as well. Always create a setting, they are needed in any rp, unless it's not taking place in reality.

Speech is good, your guy sounds really confident, maybe over confident...I guess we'll find out in your match. All I really can say about the speech is try to say more about your character. Create a point, and prove it.

[kcmcgrath]

Thanks... I'll try and implement those points into my next rp

[Kurt Burton: Script Doctor!]

Good work, I like the arrogance of KC and want to see where you will go with it. So, all I have to say is get some description in there. I mean, a bar is a bar, but what kind of bar... trendy, lowlife, etc. Anyway, good luck.