An eyewitness report from the event:
9:00 AM - The clock radio wakes me up and tells me that today is going to be a sunny, hot, and humid day. Its 80 degress already. I lie there for several minutes, listening to the hum of the air conditioner, wondering whether I really want to go to the Stars and Stripes Challenge (SSC). The admission time is supposed to be 10 AM but I figure that its unlikely that they'll begin exactly at 10. Actually, I'm worried that they'l start letting in people at 10 and won't start the event until the afternoon. This could turn out to be a real unpleasant day. I finally get up to make some coffee. Okay, I'll go but I ain't in any hurry.
10:00 AM - I'm out the door. All right, even if they do begin at 10 how likely is it that anyone will slam him in the first 30 minutes? The syndies never mentioned how long the event would be, how could they if they are to maintain the illusion of reality? I expect that it'll last about an hour. The real question is when does it begin? The subway is waiting for me when I get to the station and the short ride is uneventful.
10:30 AM - I arrive to the outside of the Intrepid, trying to figure out where the entrance is. I follow the crowd as an event staff person comes up asking people whether they're here for wrestling. I think to myself, No, I'm here for the WWF. He hands out a sheet with a bunch of "guidelines" and a layout of the flight deck and tells us that the price of the tickets are $10. A Jamaican woman and her young son who are in front of me ask why its $10 when the TV said it would be $7. That was a misprint he says.
I contemplate not going in, not to play into Vince's bait and switch operation, this little fraud of his. I decide to go in because I really do want see this farce and I can handle the cost. I do feel sorry for the Jamaican woman and the other people who came and now are either suckered into paying an additional $3 bucks or going home with disappointed kids. I follow the crowd in and get my ticket/badge. As I enter the museum area one of the event staff people tell me that I have to get my shoulder bag checked out. The guidelines sheet I received earlier pointed out that food and drink, coolers, and other things weren't allowed in and that bags and coolers would have to be checked and, perhaps, held aside. Given the racist nature of the angle being played out, Yokozuna (aka Japan) vs. the USA, and the questionable mental state of some WWF fans, it would probably be a good idea to check to weapons.
A guy at a side table goes through the papers and books in my shoulder, says I can take it in, and asks if I have any firearms. "Nyah," I said, "not during the daylight hours." I follow the crowd through the Intrepid and am given a little American flag as we make our way up to the flight deck. Apparently this is one of the props for the extras. The flight deck has been sectioned off into cattle pen-like areas. An event staff person checks the letter-number combination on my badge and directs me into one of these holding areas. The penalty for coming late is that I'm about 80 feet away from the ring, facing west toward the river (the sun is behind me). I can see a video camera on a platform on the other side of the ring, with the camera facing me. I regret not bring my "R.W.P-W ROOLZ!" banner.
Oh man, I can see this is not going to be pleasant. The sky is clear and the sun is strong. There is no cover and there is no place to sit. I'm 5' 11' so I'll be able to look over most people's heads to see the ring but there are a lot of parents with young kids who are going to see squat. One mother tells her kids "I know you can't see anything, *I* can't see anything." This holding area was large enough hold about 100 or so people. It filled up at first but by the end of the event there was only 20 people left. Altogether, I would estimate about 1500-1800 people showed up (I think some left because it was impossible for some people to see what was going on). We're told that the event will begin at 11 AM so at least we won't have to wait too long. Its getting hot and I know I'm going to sunburnt in the bargain.
10:45 - a band has been playing patriotic music while we wait (I later find out that their name is the James Daniel Band). At 10:45 a voice comes on, sounds like Todd Peddingill (Sp?), who says that they're going to play Randy Savage's music video a couple of times (I look around to find out where they're going to show the video since there's no screen -- as it turns out they only play the music unless I missed something). The first time they played Randy's music nothing much happened. The second time they played it Randy came out to a pretty good pop. Randy had a red, white and blue outfit: red and white tapes from his arms and a blue jacket with silver stars and his name on back -- red and white tights). Randy gets into the ring and starts lip synching. Some WWF suits take a couple of young kids from the audience who stand around slightly petrified while Randy prances around saying "Oh Yeah."
They play Randy's song a third time and Randy gets a couple of the 4-5 year old girls to dance with him (which makes me wonder whether Marty Jannetty will show up today). After the end of the song the crowd engages in a USA chant as Randy goes off-stage.
11:00 - Todd Peddingill (sp?) comes into the ring and tell everyone good afternoon (sic) and welcomes everyone to the SSC (videographers with portable units are at ringside). He reminds everyone that this is being sponsored by the WWF and WPLJ, his radio station (like we couldn't read the giant sign on the radio tower next to the ring). Todd then reviews the events leading to this glorious day. Remember Hulk Hogan at the King of the Ring and what Yokozuna did to him, Todd asks (people booed at the mention of Hogan's name). Todd continues to try to build crowd heat as he gets them to boo the mention of Fuji and Yokozuna's names. And, if you didn't know, the Detroit area Chevrolet-GEO dealers will be giving a red, white, and blue chevy silverado pick-up truck to the slammer (which makes me wonder whether Jim Ross will show up).
Todd then introduces Randy Savage again and his theme music, "Pomp and Circumstance" comes on while we wait for the randy one to come out. And we wait and wait. The music ends and there is no Randy. Bobby Heenan comes out and people start chanting "Bobby, Bobbie" while Todd asks where Randy is. Bobby says he told Savage that there no point in him coming out since no one was going to slam Yokonzuna. Todd disagrees and has Randy's music start up again. This time Randy does come out and when his music stops he gets a "USA, USA" chant going (which makes me wonder whether Hacksaw Jim Duggan is going to show up). With Todd and Randy in the ring, they introduce Bobby Heenan to boos, cheers, and chants of "Weasel" (Randy helps the weasel chant to get going). Bobby builds heat for Yokozuna, claiming that no one will slam him. By the way, Yoko has been bulking up for this event and is now at an amazing, a staggering 568 POUNDS! No one can lift Yokozuna now, Bobby claims.Randy says: "Its not over til its over."
Bobby leaves as Randy gets a "USA, USA" chant going again. Todd then introduces Lee Cousan (sp?) who sings the national anthem.
(Note: Listen, I barely have enough time to keep up with wrestling let alone other sports so I am really going to mangle some of the athletes names since I don't know them. But that's okay since they're all jobbers for a day).
Todd then introduces the referee for the event, Earl Hebner, who gets booed for his effort. Todd then goes over the rules with Earl. An athlete has to pick Yokozuna up, both feet off the mat, and then bodylslam him once. Todd then asks Randy how does one go about slamming Yokozuna. Randy explains: "Expect the unexpected," and then scoops up Todd and gets ready to slam him to the cheers of the crowd. Randy holds Todd up for a while but eventually puts him gently down. Somehow I get the feeling that the best part of the show is over.
11:15 - Yokozuna and Mr. Fuji are introduced and enter the ring while Randy gets a "USA, USA" going. Yoko takes his kimono off and is wearing stylistic pink tights and a black belt (which makes me wonder if Ric Martel or Bret Hart will show up). After some banter between Todd and Fuji the event begins.
11:20 - (1) NFL former NY/NJ Giant jobber comes into the ring. Goes up to Yoko and tries to scoop him up. After about 2 seconds he gives up and leaves the ring. At this point I realize the good sense in not making this a PPV -- it would proabably have the lowest buy rate for *any* PPV anywhere, anytime. I start feeling a slight burn on the back of my legs and realize there is no way that this is going to be any good.
(2) Another NFL former NY/NJ Giant comes in, tries a fireman's carry and gives up. The intros for these guys are taking longer than the attempts at slamming Yoko
(3) An NHL Philly Flyer jobber comes in, gives it a try, and leaves. Its hard to see ringside from my position but the jobbers du jour are apparently hanging out at ringside, facing the fixed position video camera. I wonder how long this can go on before people either fall asleep or storm the ring.
(4) Bob Backlund - enters to a mixed response. Makes a valiant attempt but Yokozuna is just too much for him. What is interesting is that people did pop for Backlund, in part because they recognize him. A lot of people around me didn't seem to know who the other athletes are. I don't feel so bad about knowing these guys.
(5) The Jockey, Julio Somethingorother, comes in and gives it a try. Believe it or not, he's not successful! When Yoko turns around the jockey bravely swats Yoko on the butt with his whip (which makes me wonder whether we're going to have any midgets try to slam Yoko).
(6) Keith Simms (Miami Dolphins) comes in and gives it a try. Still no success. Bobby Heenan comes back out to remind us that no one is going to slam Yokozuna while a Weasel chants begins. Todd reassures us that its not over yet. I shudder.
(7) A NHL (Pittsburgh Penguins) jobber comes out and fails miserably.
(8) Scott Steiner - Good pop from the crowd. Scotty and Yokozuna go face-to-face, staredown time. Scotty then slaps Yoko's face and tries to slam him. And he is NOT successful! My God, is there no one here who can slam Yokozuna? Its only about 11:40 and I have a feeling that we have a loooong way to go.
(9) Someone from the NBA - Scott Berall? - walks up to Yokozuna, takes one look at him and leaves the ring. The crowd is not happy and booes. Randy says he can understand, brother. ("You suck" someone next to me said which I think was a more apt description).
(10) Another NFL jobber (Mark Heaves? Dolphins) comes in and falls down as he tries to pick up Yoko. Fuji interrupts the fast-paced action because Yokozuna needs a break, a rice break. Hebner brings in a giant bowl of rice and we are entertained by the sight of watching Yoko eating. Todd and Randy try to build heat by getting a "USA, USA" chant going. I figure that this must be a planned intermission and, with 10 jobbers so far we should have another 10 to go. I pray that it goes quickly.
(11) Another NFL jobber (Gary Bovingale? Buffalo Bills) comes in to waste our time.
(12) Tatanka - enters to a good crowd pop. He takes the mike to let us know that he is glad and proud to be here, that's he's proud to take part in this event on America's birthday. Why do I feel that most American Indians (aka Native Americans) wouldn't agree with him? Tatanka starts off with a staredown but quickly gets going. He starts his war dance, runs into a rope and drives a chop into Yoko's head, runs into another rope and another chop, and yet a third run in and chop. Tatanka goes to one of the ringposts, climbs up, and comes down off the top turnbuckle with a well-placed chop to Yoko's noggin. Tatanka then tries to pick up Yoko but hurts his back. Tatanka then runs into the ropes again but gets Yoko's foot into his mush. Yoko then does the Butt Drop of Doom (tm) on Tatanka who, believe it or not, is still undefeated in the WWF. Tatanka is carried out of the ring, I think (couldn't see from my position).
Bobby comes to the ring again to remind us that *NO ONE* can slam Yokozuna. Thanks Bobby, I almost forgot.
(13) Another former NY/NJ jobber comes in (George Martin?). Todd: Tell us, how do you plan to slam Yokozuna? George: Yokozuna? Bobby Heenan said I had to slam Yoko Ono! And the laughs keep on coming. Randy decides its a good time to remind us about the cool red, white, and blue pick-up truck (where's Jimbo?) waiting for the slammer so he goes off to sit in for a few minutes. Is this a stall? Is something not on schedule?
(14) Yet another former NY/NJ Giant, Billy Taylor (also on WFAN) comes in, takes one look at Yoko and leaves. Boy, do I feel good about standing in the hot sun watching this.
(15) Former NFL and WWF jobber Bill Fralic comes in and actually picks Yoko up! The crowd goes wild - finally something has happened! WHOOOOPEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Too bad Fralic couldn't slam him.
The crowd now senses that Yokozuna is vulnerable, that he can't take too much more of this, that he's starting to tire of weighing 568 pounds!
(16) Being caught up in the excitement I missed out on some of the info on the next jobber whose name is, I think, Joey Smith. And another one bites the dust.
Todd: (in desperation) There must be a Profesional Athlete out there who can slam Yokozuna!?
Its getting real hot now. There's only a few people left in my holding pen. A kid standing close to me asks his mommie why aren't there more wrestlers? A good question. No one really thinks that these jobbers du jour have any chance of slamming Yokozuna. And a couple of them have demonstrated the good sense of not even trying to pretend to do it. I'm starting to get impatient and hoping that the money shot comes soon.
(17) Rick Steiner comes in to a big pop. He does a short clotheline on Yoko and then tries a belly-to-belly but can't get Yoko off his feet. IS THERE NO STOPPING THIS MONSTER!!!!!!! (Sorry, got carried away)
(18) Still another NFL jobber comes (by this point I don't even care what his name is) and gets one of Yoko's legs up for a second.
(19) Another NFL jobber, Jim Jensen, pushes Yoko but no go. Hmmmmmmmmm, next one is number 20. If my estimation is accurate then we must be coming to the end of the "event." Someone somewhere in the crowd initiates a "We Want Crush" chant which last for a minute. And then music begins.
(20) CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCRRRRRRRUUUUSSSSSSHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! enters to a huge pop! He walks around the ring getting a "USA, USA" chant going. The crowd is going wild, here is the man we have all been waiting for (er, some were waiting for), the man who will restore the honor that AMERICA lost when Yokozuna stole the WWF belt. The man who will make the streets safe again for ordinary people by demolishing monsters like Yokozuna. The man who..... well you get the idea. Crush, the big Hawaiian, bitter foe of the evil clown Doink (which made me wonder if Doink was going to make an appearance), the apparent last, best hope that all good, upright people had in defeating the godless monster Yokozuna, goes face-to-face, toe-to-toe with the Japanese behemoth. Crush moves -- he scoops -- he lifts! Yokozuna has both feet off the mat!!!!! He's going, he's going, he's going...... back to his feet. Crush could lift him but couldn't slam him. So much for old pineapple head.
What now? Is it possible that NO ONE will slam Yokozuna? To tell you the truth, at this point we don't know if anyone else is scheduled to try to slam Yokozuna. I'm starting to think that maybe that's way the angle will be played out. If it is then Yoko might not make it out alive. After baking in the sun for an hour the crowd is eager for a happy ending and may turn ugly if not satisfied.
Why, the answer is obvious. Its been there all the time, right in front of us. The once and future (?) champ of course - RANDY SAVAGE!
Todd: But Randy you weren't scheduled to try to slam Yokozuna
Randy: Oh Yeah, I know but I'm pumped and the people here want me to try.
Randy gets encouragement from the crowd while Bobby Heenan comes back to the ring to remind us that no one can/will slam Yokozuna.
Bobby: Savage won't do diddly.
But the crowd wants its champion. USA, USA, USA, USA, USA.... Yokozuna demonstrates his contempt of Savage by pushing him down to the ground. Randy is pissed. They come face-to-face.
Randy acts - he scoops - he lifts - he...... is unsuccessful.
Randy is wild. He wants another chance. Spontaneously (?) the crowd starts chanting "One more chance, One more chance". But the evil twin Earl Hebner reminds us all that each participant is given only one chance to slam and that's it.
What to do, what to do? The best athletes that America has to offer have come and failed to slam Yokozuna. Are we really all washed-up? Are we really just a second-rate, also-ran, lame-o, ..., er, you get the idea. Is this the end of America?
No, wait! Up in the sky. Its a bird, its a plane, its a helicopter!
Its circling around and is landing on the far end of the flight deck (the part marked helo pad on the flight deck map).
Who's in it? Todd and Savage don't know! The crowd, who's keen instincts are always to be trusted, start chanting: HOGAN, HOGAN!
Good Lord! Could the rumors of his early leaving be false? Who else in the WWF can save the U.S.A. but a Real American (tm)?
Whoever it is gets out but we can't make it out. They're coming to the ring. They get closer and closer and finally enter. My GOD, its, ITS..... SENSATIONAL SHERRI MARTEL!
NO! Wait, that butt's too small. It's not Sherri, ITS LEX LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGER!
Oh Boy, here comes the money shot.
Randy gets a "Lex, Lex" chant going and these people whose brains have been boiling in the sun for the past hour or more have forgotten the Narcissist, the steel forearm, and that he's a heel.
Screw that, dude. This is a FACE turn!
Fuji starts to complain. He says that the contest is over. Lex grabs the mike and, with his Stars and Stipes shirt rippling in the wind (okay, there is no wind), he says that there is nothing wrong with America. The only thing wrong here is that Fuji is here. He then grabs Fuji and tosses him out of the ring. This is the cue for everyone in the ring to get out. There's a new marshall in town, folks.
Lex and Yokozuna are face-to-face. The tension builds -- you can cut it with a knife! Yoko backsteps and charges Luger. Lex, being nimble of foot, steps aside as Yoko runs into the turnbuckle. Yoko stumbles back and Luger... He Scoops -- He Lifts -- He SLAMS!
The place goes crazy. All of the ringside jobbers and Randy and Todd come into the ring and proclaim the new American Champion (tm)! Todd: Lex Loooooger, He's the Pride of America (tm)! Crowd: USA, USA.... Randy tries to interview Lex. Lex has an American Flag in each hand and is raised onto the shoulders of Rick and Scott Steiner. The band starts to play the National Anthem. God, its good to be an American. The band plays Stars and Stripes forever as the participants and the crowd starts to leave.
12:15 - I hang around on the flight deck for a while, waiting for the crowd to file out. They start to dismantle the ring (I wonder if Tom Cole was in the audience). I turn on my walkman to listen to some music. Its 90 degrees and it feels it. I finally head down and stroll through the cool darkness of the museum.
12:35 - I happen to come to a rear exit that the talent is using. Lex and Scott Steiner went by, surrounded by fans. Both were signing autographs. They left the Intrepid and went down an outside metal staircase. Scotty finally got into a yellow cab and I think Lex left in a limo but couldn't see because of the fans. I left the Intrepid and went down to see who else came out. Some distance away there was a group of people but I couldn't see who was the center of attraction. I got closer and saw that it was Bob Backlund. A lot of kids were asking for his autograph and there were older fans hanging around as well. He was friendly and humble.
At one point he had this conversation:
Kid: Hey Bob, on TV Bobby Heenan calls you Opie. Why does he do that?
Backlund: I don't know. I like Mayberry and everything attached to it. But that's probably before your time.
An older fan said that it was good to see him wrestling again. Backlund's response was interesting. He said that he's glad to be wrestling but only if he could wrestle the way he wants to, to wrestle the way he feels is right. He said that he can't talk for or about other people but he couldn't do what some of the others do. It just isn't him and if he had to do it he would leave the business. He also told the kids that they should stay in school, go to college, and get a good education.
Backlund was trying to get into his red pickup but was making slow progress. Someone yelled that Randy Savage was coming and Backlund said that the people should try to get his autograph. Backlund still had a tough time getting into his truck as Savage came by with a couple of WWF suits in tow. And Savage wasn't giving any autographs. Bringing up the rear was Chris Chavez (Tatanka, who was wearing a baseball cap) and Bryan Adams (Crush). They were carrying bags and weren't giving autographs either. Savage, Tatanka, and Crush piled into a grey Lincoln towncar and tried to drive off. Randy was by himself in the backseat while Tatanka drove and Crush rode shotgun. Tatanka was apparently intent on backing into another car which a group of WWF suits were able to prevent. I hope they got wherelever they were going to safely. Eventually Backlund was able to get his pickup truck out. I waved and gave him a thumbs up as he went by. He waved back. I waited around wondering who else was left. 12:55 - Fuji, wearing only black shorts, came out with Earl Hebner and some women. They all got into a yellow cab and drove off. It really looked strange.
1:00 - Yokozuna, Rodney Anoia, came out by himself. The fans that were around pestered him a little. He wore a blue athletic shirt and floral print pants (or was it a wrap?). He too got into a yellow cab and drove off. For a second I was reminded of Kurt Vonnegut's novel Cat's Cradle and its two legendary protagonists: McCabe and Bokonon. McCabe was the heel, playing a ruthless government head of the caribbean island San Lorenzo, who attempted to capture the face holy man Bokonon.
This, of course, was a work, an angle they had agreed upon because they saw that there was little outside of this form of entertainment that they could give to the poor inhabitants of the island of San Lorenzo. The problem that developed was that after playing these roles for years and years both men went a little crazy and started to believe in their roles. For McCabe this meant actually enforcing his law that practictioners of Bokonon's religion should be put to death. And so on. Rodney didn't look happy. I wondered whether being a heel, especially the type of heel that the WWF was making him play, was getting to him. He probably had a hard enough time because of his size and weight. It was sad to see him ride off alone.
Well, I guess this means that the main event for Summerslam will be Luger vs Yokozuna for the WWF World Championship. And I don't think that there's any doubt about who's going to win that, is there?
