Am I the only one who gets impatient with people?

[Deleted]

Lately I feel like people around me are bullying me. They turn to me and talk to me only when they need help or other things from me. Do you know this feeling? I want to kick people like that's butt. Do you feel that way too? Why are people so self-interested?

[JC Motors]

I think everyone does to some extent or another

[GreyHaze:Big Bad Booty Daddy]

Depends on the person. The minute you're born you're taking in something from the world. The world was designed for us to give and contribute to. Now, if you feel like your friendships solely rely on people using you then maybe you should cut those people off. Everything is an exchange to an extent. Be around people who you could bounce from energy wise and grow. That, or do some time alone and figure out what kind of people are beneficial to your life. I say this from personal experience. Some people are like leeches and will drain you because they're miserable. Good luck.

[Grumpyoldman]

"I want to kick people like that's butt"?

Yes. I know the feeling. They'll forget about you until they remember you have a pick-up truck. Then they'll ask you to help them move. Or that you have an apartment or house & they need a place to crash "for a couple of days".
Just learn to say "no". I called a former friend out on it. That's why he's a former friend now.

[Old Zeke]

[Kollector_Kombat]

I knew the feeling well, but over time I've just taught myself not to take anything too personal. People will take advantage of your kindness but we live and learn from it. Let them show you their true colors but don't let them dull yours, ya know?

[saintegenevieve]

Oct 30, 2022 13:41:33 GMT -5 @bret said:

Lately I feel like people around me are bullying me. They turn to me and talk to me only when they need help or other things from me. Do you know this feeling? I want to kick people like that's butt. Do you feel that way too? Why are people so self-interested?

One of the saddest things about society today is how much the system rewards strivers. That has gotten bad since the 90s. To get ahead, you're expected to pack your CV with arbitrary NGO gigs, even when you obviously aren't committed to, say, homelessness. You're expected to join a bunch of clubs even if you don't care. You're expected to take a bunch of courses to show that you're "well-rounded" even when everything you learn is watered down. People like that get rewarded in perverse ways by the system with near or surpassing six figure salaries that they then resent. It shouldn't be rocket science to the managerial state functionaries who drive these incentives that they're rewarding the least rooted people, pushing the greatest amount of oppression and disability points, victimizing themselves by identifying with mental illnesses, among other things. No one likes mercenaries. They're reputed as trashy people with good reason. The idea that these incentives don't fracture social relations is somewhat demented

I guess I'm not suggesting a solution that will keep you happy as of now because the system is what it is, and it creates a lot of these "Get along to get along" mercenaries. I find it absolutely depressing. The best thing you can do is to accept that that is the system, then mitigate it on your own terms and have the system meet you to the degree that you can morally accept it.

I met someone like that last year. I used to see her all the time. She'd always have these university stickers on her computer. During Covid, she decided to introduce herself, then initiating friendship. We'd go out to eat here and there. I admonished her about her poor tipping, like $2 for coffee. She'd no show a lot or be super late, or make plans to hang out, then suddenly ask me to tag along for an errand that could last all day. One day, her cat didn't have her prescription food. I told her that we could walk together to a mall. We didn't get the prescription due to red tape, but we ate.

I thought she was demanding though and really childish. Not trying to make this political but she was progressive in this really childish way where she didn't think from higher principles but instead pushed views for society that she saw as benefiting herself, often without the self reflection to notice, or to use an issue so she could pat yourself on the back about what a good person she is. I resented this dynamic because I do study and read a lot, and I'm feeling like I am stuck tutoring this half literate.

One day, she came back from seeing her mommy. She's almost 40. I tend not to get adults in their late 30s stuck on their parents like that. It's very juvenile. I didn't cold shoulder her. I was doing some hard unit conversions for my project. She just stormed out. I wasn't expecting her. I chase her down the road. We talk nicely for 30 minutes. I told her that I was stuck on this problem for 4 hours and that I was almost done.

She is then supposed to come on a Sunday. Delay, delay, delay. It's two hours late. She calls me suddenly to cancel. What? I'm hungry, like really hungry. Then she calls back and asks if I would go with her to take her car back to her mom's house. "Sure." Then she calls back saying that we can't do that because her husband said he has to come with us. "Ok." Then she calls back asking if I could go grocery shopping with her. "Ok." Then no. Then she calls asking if I would be at the coffee shop at 3. "Maybe." I didn't go. Then she texts me with some bs as if it's my failing: "oh, I guess you don't have time to go to the coffee shop."

She came back to town a week later. We talked one day for 30 minutes. Everything's cool. Then she starts to cold shoulder me about 3 times over 2 weeks. Like, what did I do? I was upset. I spun my wheels a million times about texting her but chose not to. My husband HATED her and thought she was the most juvenile delinquent he had ever met

Then I told myself "You know, she's going to text me back in a few weeks because she's a low caste mercenary." And she did. "I'm sorry. I was just going through a thinking phase." Uh huh, like she thinks about anything other than getting free stuff (like time and exploiting workers). She only texted me because she was bored! Then she texts me again a few months later on New Years. Same thing. I don't write back

I saw her last hearing her stupid sandals smack the concrete with her new Hillary Clinton hairdo. Geez did I hate her, but I'm super nice so I cooperate

My best friend is this Siberian lady. She lives in Germany now. I sent her $500 in Korean skincare since she's not a striver

I told my husband recently that I wonder if younger people have friends anymore due to striver culture. I know so many who would never go to a high school reunion. I get some don't have that temperament. That has always been true. Difference is I see it from people whom you wouldn't think like that.

In the 90s, we all had to get along. I knew this really rich girl whose dad was some Dixiecrat. I thought she was stuck-up. She still is. Her dad is a crook too who flipped on his own brother in a federal case where they are were scamming money from the DoD and vets (while signaling how patriot they are in the public spheres of their lives). Look, I don't like her but it's just a cultural thing. We'd be polite to one another. Most of us were like that as kids. We found common ground with those with whom we didn't share much. I hired a zoomer who had a crush on me to move out my furniture. I paid him $400 for 2 hours of work. He was so glued to his phone and super sensitive. I guess online and striver culture have really subverted societal modes of organization. Just my view. I never saw any of this weird stuff growing up and I knew 8 people off the top of my head, with some missing, who were murderers or murdered.

[Scott!]

One of the saddest things you realise in this world, is to some extent every person is out for themselves. Not that I'm saying that's a selfish thing, it's what you learn as you get older. People that take advantage of you when you're offering 100% of your time for a backhanded slap are not worth even 1% of your time. It takes it's time to realise that, but when you do you'll know who deserves you. Life is about learning and as I said, you learn pretty quick when someones taking advantage of you.

[cage]

Yes, it just seems like life revolves around dealing with other peoples nonsense/problems.

[anglucero]

I am the same. I get nervous very easily because I am choleric

[Slaughterama]

When we’re lonely or vulnerable we’ll almost accept any kind of company. This can lead to others manipulating us, abusing us, etc. One of the most important things to do here is build ourselves up, as well as cutting any abusers loose. We can’t ignore our own faults/behaviours that let us down and make us easy targets. You’ll eventually get to a stage where you can identify people’s behavioural tendencies and learn to keep them at bay.

There’s people we might greet if we see them out in the world (but always keep it short), people we might sit and have a drink with and then a select few that we allow into our lives. It’s super important to learn about boundary setting.

[williscreg]

Definitely not. I get upset with other people very easily, especially those are people which provide some services and don't do it properly.
When it comes to that , I am always the first one to write my impressions about services on PissedConsumer.com and there are two reasons for that. First - I need to get rid of my anger and second - I don't want other people to make the same mistakes like I did.

[cage]

I do my best to reel it in because I know it’s a problem, but dealing with it day in and day out really just wears you down. So some days it won’t seep out as much and others there will be no filter.

[JC Motors]

Oct 30, 2022 15:09:04 GMT -5 Grumpyoldman said:

"I want to kick people like that's butt"?

Yes. I know the feeling. They'll forget about you until they remember you have a pick-up truck. Then they'll ask you to help them move. Or that you have an apartment or house & they need a place to crash "for a couple of days".
Just learn to say "no". I called a former friend out on it. That's why he's a former friend now.

My father said that is so true when you own a pickup. Everybody and their brother wants to borrow it.

[cage]

I’m finding nobody in real life that I have anything in common with. That’s why I love forums. They’re so genre specific, but they’re very much dying down. In some ways that is a very good thing, but not so good in others.

[PJ]

Mar 8, 2023 7:53:24 GMT -5 JC Motors said:

Oct 30, 2022 15:09:04 GMT -5 Grumpyoldman said:

"I want to kick people like that's butt"?

Yes. I know the feeling. They'll forget about you until they remember you have a pick-up truck. Then they'll ask you to help them move. Or that you have an apartment or house & they need a place to crash "for a couple of days".
Just learn to say "no". I called a former friend out on it. That's why he's a former friend now.

My father said that is so true when you own a pickup. Everybody and their brother wants to borrow it.

Not just borrow it, but “borrow” you and it. And the worst part though…the one that totally enrages me is if I am doing you a favor then God damn it make sure you are ready to do it at my convenience. Don’t spring it on me last minute and expect me to cancel plans I have to help you. You make the time to fit my schedule.

[cage]

It's strange to me that people place different values on friendship.
Nothing could be more important to me.