Post by Deleted on Aug 6, 2022 16:38:45 GMT -5
“suck it bitchboy!” i scream into my gaming headset as my avatar on fall guys makes it to the finish line, beating all the simps, weebs, mcr fans and 12-year olds that frequent the game.
playing video games help me relax and after what shuggy said about paul walker, i needed to just chill. i try and not focus on what was said but i can’t help it. who is he to insult the storied career of paul walker? he wasn’t just in fast and furious. he was in the skulls, she’s all that, running scared, brick mansions, into the blue, i can go on. the man had a career. i grab betty white and take a puff of the herb as it tickles my lungs with its green goodness. i take another big puff but this time, i hold it in, making sure that smoke courses through my entire body. The longest i ever went was three minutes. i felt like i was flying afterwards lol
i get up from the hot couch and head into the kitchen and get a bowl of cereal. i have kix, honey bunches of oats, krave and….f**king lucky charms.
that leprechaun piece of s**t is smiling at me. Just like i imagine shuggy was smiling as he threw shade at paul walker. i grab the box of lucky charms and punch it, spilling the contents inside all over the apartment floor. for good measure, i step on the cereal pieces with my crocs. sports mode for that extra support. i take one more hit from betty white and it’s so strong that it sends me bumping into my fridge, causing it to shake. i'm like that kid from the first leprechaun movie; "f**k you lucky charms!"
“ye think ye're some touch guy, dinnae ye?” what? i look around my apartment, looking for the source of the noise. “ay, A'm talkin tae ye ye eejit” where is that voice coming from?
“i'm on your floor, you dobber” you what? i walk over and pick up the crushed cereal box from the floor. i slowly turn it around. “yeah, it's me. we're gaun'ae ficht richt here, richt now!”
suddenly, a cartoon fist punches me in the face, sending me to the carpet floor. i manage to get my bearings straight as i catch lucky the f**king leprechaun coming out of the cereal box, looking like a bad CGI cartoon from the 2000s. “you want to go, bitch? let’s go!” i say as i run towards lucky and go for the takedown but he grabs me and smashes me against the fridge which causes the rest of my breakfast cereals to fall on top of us. does he not know that i'm a master in judo, jiu-jitsu, karate, kung fu, tae kwon do, aikido, f**kin- argh
lucky uses his knee to hit me in the stomach before grabbing me by my sweats and throwing me across my kitchen table. The prick. he jumps on top of the table but I get him good, chopping him right in the throat and he falls onto his back, gasping for air. i stand up and elbow him in the stomach. he has pointy shoes and he uses that his advantage as the tip of his shoe drills me in the back of the neck. he then locks me in an octopus stretch. the f**k? lucky the leprechaun knows mma? i scream in agony as the mascot continues to taunt me. “ye scream like a jessie!”
i manage to get my arm underneath lucky which allows me to stand up, hoisting the mascot in the air as he torques the hold. i let myself fall backwards and we both take a bump onto the kitchen floor, squashing him with all my bodyweight. i go for the dragon sleeper, squeezing the f**k out of lucky's skinny ass neck as i wrap my legs around his waist, cutting off his oxygen supply. "you barked up the wrong tree, dawg!" i say to taunt the prick as he struggles to escape my finishing move. i can feel myself being lifted off the floor. "oh s**t" i go as lucky uses me as a battering ram, crushing me against the apartment walls. my grip game is on point tho so i keep the hold in tact but lucky crushes me again, only this time the prick puts a dent in my wall! to my surprise, lucky bends over backwards and drops me onto the apartment floor with a northern-lights suplex which is what breaks the holds. "is that ye git, boot?" i have no idea what he said but based on the pissed-off demeanor he has, i think it's nothing nice.
“expect a beating, bitchboy! feel the fury of karate steve!” i shout, taking off my shirt. then alexa chimes in, “now playing: furious by ja rule”
my eyes widen. it’s the song that plays during the credits from the very first fast & furious movie. the one that started it all. i feel energized. the booming voice of jah gives me that second wind like in borderlands. i’m back with full health with a temporary buff but it’s all i need to get in that ass.
i go for the takedown only this time it's successful. i target the arm, going for a key lock, the move that kept me undefeated in the mean streets of lansing, mi. the pointy-ass shoes of lucky go pitter, patter on my apartment floor as he screams in pain. "tap! tap! tap!" i scream which for a second, slightly overpowers the beat of furious which is still playing from my bluetooth speaker. like the song says, it's murda murda and that's what on my mind right now as i continue to twist and bend lucky's arm as if it was a pretzel. "ah gie up! ah gie up!" lucky yells, using his other cartoon hand to tap out.
i let go of the hold but when i look over to make sure if lucky was truly done, he's gone, back inside the cereal box which only provoked me what seems like forever ago. "what the hell? that herb is some good s**t" this strain is called crouching tiger hidden alien.
then it dawns on me: we’re going to boston this next show aka the worst place to be in the united states. they have the most annoying people there with their accents, crap sports teams and the whole town smells like molasses which is just ancient syrup. nyc all day!
did you know that back in the 70s, lucky the leprechaun was actually a wizard? at knuckles up in boston, call me a wizard because i’m going to make that shuggy disappear!
playing video games help me relax and after what shuggy said about paul walker, i needed to just chill. i try and not focus on what was said but i can’t help it. who is he to insult the storied career of paul walker? he wasn’t just in fast and furious. he was in the skulls, she’s all that, running scared, brick mansions, into the blue, i can go on. the man had a career. i grab betty white and take a puff of the herb as it tickles my lungs with its green goodness. i take another big puff but this time, i hold it in, making sure that smoke courses through my entire body. The longest i ever went was three minutes. i felt like i was flying afterwards lol
i get up from the hot couch and head into the kitchen and get a bowl of cereal. i have kix, honey bunches of oats, krave and….f**king lucky charms.
that leprechaun piece of s**t is smiling at me. Just like i imagine shuggy was smiling as he threw shade at paul walker. i grab the box of lucky charms and punch it, spilling the contents inside all over the apartment floor. for good measure, i step on the cereal pieces with my crocs. sports mode for that extra support. i take one more hit from betty white and it’s so strong that it sends me bumping into my fridge, causing it to shake. i'm like that kid from the first leprechaun movie; "f**k you lucky charms!"
“ye think ye're some touch guy, dinnae ye?” what? i look around my apartment, looking for the source of the noise. “ay, A'm talkin tae ye ye eejit” where is that voice coming from?
“i'm on your floor, you dobber” you what? i walk over and pick up the crushed cereal box from the floor. i slowly turn it around. “yeah, it's me. we're gaun'ae ficht richt here, richt now!”
suddenly, a cartoon fist punches me in the face, sending me to the carpet floor. i manage to get my bearings straight as i catch lucky the f**king leprechaun coming out of the cereal box, looking like a bad CGI cartoon from the 2000s. “you want to go, bitch? let’s go!” i say as i run towards lucky and go for the takedown but he grabs me and smashes me against the fridge which causes the rest of my breakfast cereals to fall on top of us. does he not know that i'm a master in judo, jiu-jitsu, karate, kung fu, tae kwon do, aikido, f**kin- argh
lucky uses his knee to hit me in the stomach before grabbing me by my sweats and throwing me across my kitchen table. The prick. he jumps on top of the table but I get him good, chopping him right in the throat and he falls onto his back, gasping for air. i stand up and elbow him in the stomach. he has pointy shoes and he uses that his advantage as the tip of his shoe drills me in the back of the neck. he then locks me in an octopus stretch. the f**k? lucky the leprechaun knows mma? i scream in agony as the mascot continues to taunt me. “ye scream like a jessie!”
i manage to get my arm underneath lucky which allows me to stand up, hoisting the mascot in the air as he torques the hold. i let myself fall backwards and we both take a bump onto the kitchen floor, squashing him with all my bodyweight. i go for the dragon sleeper, squeezing the f**k out of lucky's skinny ass neck as i wrap my legs around his waist, cutting off his oxygen supply. "you barked up the wrong tree, dawg!" i say to taunt the prick as he struggles to escape my finishing move. i can feel myself being lifted off the floor. "oh s**t" i go as lucky uses me as a battering ram, crushing me against the apartment walls. my grip game is on point tho so i keep the hold in tact but lucky crushes me again, only this time the prick puts a dent in my wall! to my surprise, lucky bends over backwards and drops me onto the apartment floor with a northern-lights suplex which is what breaks the holds. "is that ye git, boot?" i have no idea what he said but based on the pissed-off demeanor he has, i think it's nothing nice.
“expect a beating, bitchboy! feel the fury of karate steve!” i shout, taking off my shirt. then alexa chimes in, “now playing: furious by ja rule”
my eyes widen. it’s the song that plays during the credits from the very first fast & furious movie. the one that started it all. i feel energized. the booming voice of jah gives me that second wind like in borderlands. i’m back with full health with a temporary buff but it’s all i need to get in that ass.
i go for the takedown only this time it's successful. i target the arm, going for a key lock, the move that kept me undefeated in the mean streets of lansing, mi. the pointy-ass shoes of lucky go pitter, patter on my apartment floor as he screams in pain. "tap! tap! tap!" i scream which for a second, slightly overpowers the beat of furious which is still playing from my bluetooth speaker. like the song says, it's murda murda and that's what on my mind right now as i continue to twist and bend lucky's arm as if it was a pretzel. "ah gie up! ah gie up!" lucky yells, using his other cartoon hand to tap out.
i let go of the hold but when i look over to make sure if lucky was truly done, he's gone, back inside the cereal box which only provoked me what seems like forever ago. "what the hell? that herb is some good s**t" this strain is called crouching tiger hidden alien.
then it dawns on me: we’re going to boston this next show aka the worst place to be in the united states. they have the most annoying people there with their accents, crap sports teams and the whole town smells like molasses which is just ancient syrup. nyc all day!
did you know that back in the 70s, lucky the leprechaun was actually a wizard? at knuckles up in boston, call me a wizard because i’m going to make that shuggy disappear!
