Post by wolvenbear on Dec 31, 2021 2:18:45 GMT -5
Voice: A night of matches, too good for regular programing, but that cannot wait until the next big show. Feuds that cannot wait to be settled. (The opening chords of Encore/Numb hit. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, you're far too kind.”)The desire for war which cannot be contained in the FWA's normal schedule. It is time for the Main Event.
Jay Z: Can I get an encore. Do you want more. So for one last time I need you to roar. “What the hell are you waiting for?” After me there shall be so more. So for one last time, I need you to make some noise.
(We see the face off of Rhyno and Hart, leading to the night's match. Hogan and Edge brawl in arena after arena as he takes the Hulkster off of RVD. Steiner injures HBK leading to the Elite seeking to return the favor. He faces one tonight, though no one knows who. R-Truth slaps away Alpha Male's respect, leading to the blood warrant being put out against him by the King of the Serengheti. After a vicious backstage attack, Undertaker returns the favor, demanding a match at Main Even after laying Goldberg out in the ring.)
Jay-Z: Now if you want this encore, I need you to scream until your lungs get sore.
Linkin Park: Tired of being what you want me to be. Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface. Don't know what you're expecting of me. But under the pressure of walking in your shoes. (caught in the under toe) Every step that I take is another mistake to you. (caught in the under toe) And every second I waste is more than I can take.
(We see the build up between Samoa Joe and Scott Hall as the song reaches its climax. Hall manages to get the first every victory over Joe, even though he taps and the ref doesn't see it. Again, he pulls out a cheap victory using the ropes. Each victory only makes Joe angrier, leading to tonight. Once more....for the title. Both the video and song end at the same time, to see Foley in the ring.)
Foley: We are here, tonight, in St. Louis, Missouri. (cheap pop) And just like this is the Gateway to the West, tonight, the home of the Arch will be FWA's gateway to No Way Out, the last stop before Wrestlemania. We have an amazing card for you tonight. But I can think of no better way to open the show than by the first match we announced for tonight's main event: the Intercontinental Championship match between our Champion, the Man Beast, Rhyno, and the Best There Is, the Best There Was, and the Best There Ever Will be, the Hitman, Bret Hart. Tonight's Main Event will begin with a Main Event.
(Rhyno's music hits and he comes out first, but Bret Hart eschews an intro and just comes out in the middle of Rhyno's entrance.)
Hart: Cut this piece of crap's music. Hey, Foley, I took the liberty of reading your little rules for tonight's Cyber Sunday ripoff. Any person except the men in a match is allowed to vote, and nothing in the rules stipulates that we have to vote for the choices given. I visited your legal department today with a petition, don't worry, I'm giving your fat ass a copy, that demands that tonight's match be rebranded as a Lumberjack match. And, it just so happens, I came with my very own lumberjacks.
(He hands the multipage petition to Foley. Foley briefly converses with someone over his headset.)
Foley: (snarling) Congratulations. Legal indeed agrees with your little loophole. They say I have to honor your petition, as it garnered the most votes, and you delivered the votes before the show started. May you regret this. Good luck, Rhyno. Kick this smug son of a bitch's ass. Ring the damned bell.
Intercontinental Championship
Rhyno (c) v Bret Hart
(The rest of the nWo come out and circle the ring, as Foley steps out and grabs a staff headset, sitting and talking into it, facing away from the action. Distracted by the new arrivals, Rhyno leaves himself open for a headlock, and spinning hip takedown, with Hart holding the lock. He gets to the ropes, forcing the hold to be broken. Getting to his feet, he goes for a clothesline, but Hart catches the arm, spinning him into another takedown, and backwards arm lock.)
JR: While tonight's stipulation was always up in the air, Rhyno never prepared for the possibility that he would have to take on the entire nWo by himself.
Tenay: What are you talking about, JR? Rhyno and Hart are still one on one. Hart is just trying to make sure Rhyno doesn't cheat to retain the belt yet again.
JR: What in the seven hells are you talking about? When has Rhyno ever done anything except overcome ridiculous odds to keep his titles?
(After several more outmanuverings, Hart tosses Rhyno outside, for the Outsiders to work over before tossing him back in. Hart works over Rhyno's legs for a bit, then tosses him to the other side, for Big Show to man handle. Tossed back in, Rhyno gets a reverse atomic drop, followed by a russian leg sweep into the Sharpshooter.)
JR: What was that about fairness, Mike Tenay?
Tenay: Rhyno tried to leave the ring. The nWo just stopped it from happening. That's exactly what lumberjacks are supposed to do.
JR: Oh, for the love of...
(Before the ref can ask if he wants to tap however, “Wooooo” blares through the arena. Flair comes dancing out to the stage. Seconds later, he is followed by Sting, Cactus Jack, Booker T and DDP. Hart releases Rhyno and throws his hands out wide as he faces Commissioner Foley accusingly.)
Foley: Perhaps, you should have read the rule book a little closer before making your choice. A little sloppy for the Best at the game in my opinion. A no-stipulation lumberjack match may not feature lumberjacks all loyal to, or antagonistic to, either participant. And it must feature no less than ten lumberjacks. So, I called one of my famous Foley audibles in correcting the matter. Meet your new lumberjacks: The Cure.
Tenay: What is this? You can't change a match after it has been started!
JR: Well, you shouldn't be able to get a match that wasn't on the list of choices either. NO sympathy here.
(As the Cure chase the nWo to half of the ring, Hart turns back around into a Double A Spinebuster. Rhyno falls on top and begins laying heavy hands on the Hitman.Bret pushes him off and gets up, but Rhyno clobbers him over the ropes, and now it is the Hitman's turn to feel the wrath of the Cure's lumberjacks. DDP and Sting hold his arms while Flair lights his chest up with chops, and then Booker comes in behind with a jumping high kick.)
Tenay: Bret Hart has done nothing to deserve such a mugging. This is obscene!
JR: The lumberjacks are only doing their jobs, Tenay. You said so, yourself.
(Hart is tossed back in to receive a nasty powerbomb, but before Rhyno can get the three, Nash pulls him out. The three original nWo members rough up Rhyno for a moment, but the Cure run over and begin brawling with the nWo. Rhyno gets back in, just in time for a reverse DDT. Hart works Rhyno over, hitting his whole arsenal, before locking on the Sharpshooter yet again. This time, no one saves Rhyno and he looks ready to tap, but instead he drags himself to the ropes and breaks the hold.)
Tenay: Will the cheating never cease? Ric Flair just pushed the ropes in to Rhyno!
JR: Give me some of what you are on, Mike. The nearest cure member was ten feet away. Perhaps you should stop the one sided cheerleading. I heard no complaints when they pulled Rhyno from the ring.
Tenay: He was under the ropes! They merely ensured the count was broke! Perfectly fair.
JR: Perfect BS if you ask me.
(Hart argues with the ref, demanding he call the tap. It allows Rhyno to drag himself to one foot. He spins Hart around and starts pounding away. The two begin trading blows; Rhyno, punches, Hart chops. When he seems like Rhyno is getting the better, Hart kicks his knee out. He tries to drag Rhyno, but Rhyno hits a desparation belly to belly. The two roll around for a second trading punishment. Rhyno gets up first and whips Hart, but Hart reverses and chop blocks the front of his knee.)
Tenay: And this is why he's the best. He overcomes the massive power advantage of Rhyno and picks him apart, piece by piece. No matter what Rhyno does, he always manages to regain the upper hand,
JR: Usually by cheating.
Tenay: You not liking the rules doesn't mean that he is cheating.
JR: (sputters incoherently)
(Hart grabs his legs, but Rhyno kicks him away. Waiting for Rhyno to get to his knees, Hart dives at his for a clothesline, but Rhyno dodges at the last second, bounds awkwardly off the ropes and hits a Gore. He goes for the pin, but Hart gets a shoulder up less than an inch away from the three.)
Tenay: The legend is not defeated by the clumsy amateur. The match continues.
JR: I doubt the entire nation of Canada is cheerleading as hard for Bret Hart as you are now.
(Rhyno can't believe it. Barely able to stand, he uses the ropes to pull himself up. Hart seizes on this, attacking the leg from behind. Holding his ribs, he does everything he can to Rhyno's knee, putting it on the ropes and double stomping the knee, working it. Dragging Rhyno in, he pulls the leg for one last Sharpshooter attempt, but Rhyno grabs his hair and rolls him up, getting the shock pin. As he rolls out of the ring to celebrate on the ground with his belt, Hart comes to in fury, eyes wide. His screams are bleeped out as Rhyno crawls up the ramp.)
Tenay: I cannot believe it! Hart got robbed! Why the heck would the ref not call the hair pull?
JR: Perhaps with all the shenanigans going on, the ref felt it was well deserved. Hart got what was coming to you if you ask me.
Tenay: I DIDN'T ask you.
(Before the show can progress any further, Daniels music hits and he storms to the ring, mic already in hand.
JR: What the hell is this? Daniels isn't even scheduled tonight!
Tenay: And he looks furious, JR. I am willing to bet those two facts are not unconnected.
Daniels: It is shameful that a world class athlete such as myself has been so neglected on this show. I have put on showstopping performances at the past two big name Pay Per Views, not being beaten either time. Despite the showstopping performances I put on, I have had no matches since Bound For Glory. Instead, we waste inordinate amounts of time on lesser talents, men who have less skill in their entire bodies than I have in my pinkie. Men like, Rob Van Dam. Here, we have a man who entered the Rumble near the very end, and simply sat back until all that was left was an old ass man, a legend, no doubt, but an old one. And he simply kicked him off the apron. Nothing impressive. Certainly not as impressive as what I did in the Cruiserweight Royale. Nothing compared to the performance I put on at Bound For Glory. But who gets seen every show, and who gets shoved in the back? I've had enough. If you won't give me my time, I will take it. Rob. We both know you aren't half the man I am. And it's time everyone saw it. You, me, tonight.
Rob: (over the speakers) You're on, dude.
Rob Van Dam v Christopher Daniels
(Rob's music hits, and he comes out, playing to the crowd. As he nears the ring, acting like he can't believe Daniel's tirade, the Fallen Angel launches himself over the ropes, catching RVD with a spinning crossbody. As the fans go wild, he grabs RVD by the hair, slamming his head into the stairs, and starts ramming him, back first, into the ring apron, then the barricade, back and forth. Never letting go, he Northern Lights Suplexes Rob onto the ramp. Jumping up, he throws his arms wild, screaming to the crowd over RVD writhing in pain.)
Tenay: While this match was literally just thrown together, I cannot imagine a bigger match. This match is worthy of Wrestlemania, and yet, you get it tonight, not even as the main event. These two men are facing each other for the first time ever.
JR: And it is already every bit as explosive as we would expect. These two men are going all out.
(As Daniels lifts Rvd, Rob hits an overhead kick out of nowhere. Though it staggers Daniels, he gets a quick thumb to the eye, and follows it with a dropping uppercut. As Rob falls back into the barricade, the Fallen Angel leaps to the apron and springboards into a moonsault. Jumping, Rob catches him in the gut with a spinning wheel kick. Both men land in a crumple as the fans go crazy. “Holy crap” chants start. Rob gets to his feet first and rolls Daniels in, finally getting the match started.)
JR: We have seen incredible, high flying action, and the match is just now getting started.
Tenay: Who knows what these two have in store for each other.
(Daniels jumps RVD as he slides in, pounding away, using knees. After a few excruciating minutes, RVD fights to his feet. He goes for a roundhouse but Daniels ducks, going for the sweep. RVD jumps over and tries for a leg drop, but Daniels moves. He catches Rob in a back drop, which is dodged into a backflip. For several minutes, the two dodge, reverse, chain into others, and counter. Finally, at a stale mate, the two pause, squaring off while the fans chant “This is awesome.”)
JR: This is indeed awesome, Mike Tenay. No one can provide better commentary than the fans.
Tenay: Normally, this match alone would drive a pay per view into the triple digits, and yet, tonight, FWA gives it to you for free as an ADD ON.
(The two men start to lock fingers when Daniels goes for a cheap shot to the gut. Grabbing Rob's leg, he lifts him, and drops into a kneebuster, before suplexing him overhead. Rolling with the move, he brings Rob standing into a brainbuster, then locks in a rear naked choke. Despite fading, Rob makes his way to the ropes. The Fallen Angel goes for the B.M.E. But RVD has just enough left to get his knees up. As Chris writhes in pain, RVD musters all his energy to hit a rolling thunder. Dragging himself over, he barely gets an arm over Daniels, and only gets a two.)
JR: It'll take more than that to keep a world class competitor like Christopher Daniels down.
Tenay: Despite his name, it takes a lot to take the “Fallen Angel” down, and even more to keep him down.
JR: These two men are pulling out all the stops, reaching deep into their bags of tricks to pull out the Win.
(The two men struggle to their feet, with Daniels getting upright first. He pounds away as Rob struggles up. As he goes for a kick, Rob catches his leg and steps over into his signature spinning enseguri. He goes for the split leg, but Daniels moves. As Rob gets up, Daniels hits a low blow, right in front of the ref for a DQ.)
JR: What did he do that for? What a crummy end to a great match!
Tenay: I don't know that Daniels came to win tonight as much as he did to send a message. Although, an old proverb says that you tell the winner of a fight by the man who walks away. Tonight, that man is Daniels.
(As the ref chides him, Daniels pounds away at RVD, bloodying him. He lifts him into the Angel's Wings, not once but twice. After hitting his exclamation mark, he leaves the ring, holding his ribs, but with one hand high. The fans boo as he leaves.)
COMMERCIAL
(As we come back, Sabin's music hits and he comes to the ring, holding his title high. Grabbing a mic, he begins talking even as he steps through the ropes.)
Sabin: Many of you are saying, what the heck? Sabin was not scheduled for tonight. And that's true. But the FWA is in St. Louis, and how could we deprive the Gateway to the West of the X Division Championship. (holding the belt high) St. Louis deserves the X Division front and center. Tonight, however, it is not just about me. St. Louis is a home to legends. St. Louis is wrestling. You have wrestling at the Chase which made so many world wide superstars. NWA Wildside, based in St Louis, made legends. Tonight, I wish to welcome two such legends to the ring. The first, is Cowboy Bob Orton, WWE Superstar and NWA owner. The second is NAIA National Champion and NCAA beast Brian Jackson.
(The two gray haired men make their way proudly, though much slower than their primes, down to the ring.)
Sabin: Let us hear it for these men, two of the greatest, not just in St. Louis, but some of the best to ever live. What you see today in FWA is possible because of the trails these two champions have blazed. We have living legends right here. Cheer loudly. (The fans are deafening.) And because the X Division is about legends, is about the very best the world has to offer, I have the perfect match right here in the ring. Tonight, I, Chris Sabin, will defend against not one, but two, of the most amazing men to ever set foot in the ring. You are in for a treat, as we see if I deserve this title. Ring the bell.
Tenay: An unorthodox matchup to be sure. Orton is not even in Sabin's weight class and NCAA wrestling might as well be a different sport. This would be a challenge for even a monster. Sabin is showing once again why he is our champion. We get not one, but two amazing additions tonight.
JR: Are, are we in the same universe? These two men are in their seventies! Bob Orton is no longer in wrestling shape, maybe 100 pounds overweight. Jackson can barely walk without his cane. Sabin is proposing wrestling senior citizens, and you're cheering him?
Tenay: These are legends, J.R. When can you imagine a match like this again?
JR: Maybe we'll have a singoff between Elvis and Jay-Z next? Jeez.
X Division Championship
Chris Sabin (c) v Bob Orton v Brian Jackson
(As the bell rings, the two older men look confused. Sabin grabs Jackson in a nasty suplex. He drops Orton with a diving kick to the knee. He hits a running DDT on the man while he is on his knees.)
Jr: This is a disgraceful mugging. A disgusting attack on two legends.
Tenay: Name another man who'd have the tenacity to defend his belt against two legends.
JR: No one. Even Kennedy has more class than this.
(Sabin takes his time, picking apart one, then the other, elderly champ. After several barrages, he lifts Orton into the Cradle Shock, right in the middle of the ring. )
Tenay: And it looks like he will retain. Chris Sabin is the champion of champions.
JR: As terrible as this was, at least it is almost over. Wait, no, c'mon Sabin, don't do this.
(Sabin lifts Jackson's prone body over Orton for another cradle shock. As the boos turn deafening, Sabin raises one arm in victory as he prepares to deliver the coup de grace. Before he can hit it, Amazing Red's music hits. As Sabin looks shocked, Red runs to the ring. He drops the old man, for Red to check on. He runs up the ramp shouting curses at Red the whole time.)
Tenay: Leave it to Amazing Red to ruin this showcase of immortals.
JR: Stop it, Tenay. Amazing Red simply couldn't stomach this abuse of septuagenarians, like the rest of us. Mercifully, he stopped Sabin from continuing.
(Before Sabin can get out, Shark Boy appears on the screen.)
Shark Boy: You know, Chris. After that little show of yours, I felt like pointing out, there are a few current St. Louis legends you left out. My personal favorite, who I think all of our fans would have much preferred to see you face is a little more firey...
(The stage explodes as Kane comes out, making Sabin cower in fear. As he backs up trying to get away, Randy Orton dives over the barricade behind him.)
Shark Boy: Of course, another one you've forgotten about was fired. But, since your stupid self decided to “honor” his dad, he got a complementary ticket. And, as much as Foley dislikes him, I doubt he'll object to this...
(Orton spins Sabin into an RKO. He spits on the X Division Champ, and wipes his butt with the belt before throwing it back on Sabin.)
Shark Boy: You thought you were funny, but are you laughing now? I'll be damned if I let you decide to turn the X Division into this. You may be champ, now, but I will make sure your promise to make the X Division better is held true. Wrestlemania is a long time away, but I will make you regret every. Single. Day. And that's the bottom line, because I damned well said so.
Tenay: We have just witnessed the disgraceful...
JR: ….attack on two senior citizens by a young man thwarted by two heroes. Amazing Red and Shark Boy stopped a mugging and kept the dignity of the X Divison.
(Kane is seen with the Road Warriors backstage when Undertaker walks in, APA in tow.)
Undertaker: Brother. As the most dominant Hardcore champion of all time, You have turned a piece of trash made to mock a legend into a prize more coveted than the World Title itself. (he turns to the Road Warriors) You two have secured the Wrestlemania title opportunity for the greatest tag team champs of them all. And, tonight, I end the only pretender to my crown as the most dominant Phenom ever. As the most dominant men in our divisions, it is time that our distance stops. The Legion of Doom tonight rides proud once more, as we set ourselves as the driving force of the FWA. It is a new era, as I ask you, my brothers, to join me once more.
(Undertaker puts his hand into the center. The APA quickly follow. The Road Warriors both put their hands in. And, finally, Kane.)
JR: And if I was a member of the FWA roster, I would be trembling in my shoes. I cannot imagine a more dominant force.
Edge v Hulk Hogan
(Edge and Hogan both come out, no nonsense to their songs, neither doing anything more than storming to the ring. They are in each other's face as the roulette spins on the big screen. It finally lands on Falls Count Anywhere. Edge turns to look and Hogan pounds away, knocking him to the ropes, and then kicking him over.)
Tenay: And the veteran shows why he has been so dominant over the decades. He takes advantage as soon as Edge takes his eyes off the prize.
JR: Some would call that a cheap shot.
Tenay: They are not strategists.
(Hogan slides out and continues the assault, punching Edge anywhere he doesn't protect, driving him up the ramp. Edge catches one punch, pulls Hogan in and hits a Downward Spiral, right on the ramp, out of nowhere. He goes for a pin, but Hogan kicks out right before two.)
JR: Hogan may have more years on Edge. But they don't call Edge the ultimate opportunist for nothing. He can hit moves like that on a dime. You cannot give this man a breath or he will make you regret it.
(Edge launches Hogan off the ramp into the barricade. He tries for a spear for an early win, but Hogan moves and lets him crash through the barricade. Hogan grabs Edge and back suplexes him onto the ramp. Climbing up, he stomps away at his fallen foe. He drops a quick leg and likewise goes for an early pin, with a quick kickout. Frustrated, Hogan starts stomping Edge's face against the ramp, busting him open with a DDT on the edge of the ramp.)
Tenay: And Edge gets the opportunity to bleed all over the ramp. Yet he is already stirring.
JR: Falls Count Anywhere Matches are brutal. They may not be traditional hardcore matches, where anything goes, but everything outside of the ring hurts. A suplex on the ramp is every bit as bad as a chair shot. There is no give in solid concrete.
(Hogan pulls Edge up and continues pummeling him up onto the stage. The two begin brawling and Edge flapjacks Hogan on one of the metal struts that hold up the Titantron. Grabbing Hogan's hair, he bounces his face off of the set repeatedly. Hogan knees Edge in the gut and returns the favor. The two fall to the stage, brawling, rolling to reverse who is on top.)
Tenay: These two men are fueled by hatred. Both feel they have been robbed of the main event of Wrestlemania. They both want to destroy any obstical remaining to their shot at the big dance.
JR: This may end up rivaling Edge's match with Jericho at Bound for Glory in sheer violence.
(Hogan gets a thumb in Edge's eye and retreats into the stands. Edge follows and Hogan back drops him onto the stairs. Pulling Edge through the handrail, Hogan pulls back, using the metal as an improvisational submission device. Edge punches his way free. But, when he goes after Hogan, he gets a big boot, taking him down the stairs. Hogan runs after him, delivering a leg drop at the edge of the landing. Fortunately, Edge moves, and Hogan falls off the riser, holding his leg.)
JR: That may be a fatal mistake. Hogan just painted a big red bullseye on his leg.
Tenay: And no one is more likely to aim for that Target than Edge.
(Edge works his legs, before applying the Figure Four Edge lock. Knowing there is no way out, Hogan wrenches himself backwards to grab Edge's hair, causing pain with every wrench. As Edge drops the hold, Hogan pulls him face first into the barrier. Hogan pulls him onto the top of the barrier, where the two trade punches. Edge headbutts Hogan, and, before he can recover, hits an Edge-o-matic onto the barely padded barricade top. Both men collapse to the floor.)
Tenay: Both men are battered, both men are weakened. I doubt either of their bodies can take any more punishment. They have to be running on fumes.
JR: All that keeps them going is the thought of RVD. Whoever wants his hide more will win.
(Hogan crawls away and Edge follows. They trade a few punches up the ramp back up to the stage. At the top, Hogan gets the upperhand, pummeling Edge to the drop off. Edge dodges a nasty blow and hits Hogan from behind. Before he can get anywhere, Hogan pushes him back and hits the Big Boot. It staggers Edge, dropping him to his knees, and lets Hogan taunt. But, when Hogan moves to capitalize, Edge hits a final spear, taking both men off the stage to crash into stage props below.)
JR: Oh my God! Oh my God! There was nothing there to break their fall. That was a twelve foot drop onto solid concrete. We need paramedics, to see if either man is even breathing.
(As the two men lay motionless, Edge has an arm over Hogan, so the ref counts the pin. He lifts Edge's limp arm in victory, before both men are carried to the back.)
Tenay: That was pure insanity ladies and gentlemen. We just watched two of the best destroy each other simply to say they are second place.
JR: But this, and the brutal victory over Jericho, strengthen Edge's claims that he should be in the main event. We have not heard the last of Edge.
COMMERCIAL
R-Truth v
(R-Truth is already in the ring as we return, his song fading. A video rolls showing the votes for his match against a member of the Flock. After several seconds of the tallies slowly rising, we get a tie. The screen announces that the Flock gets to pick it's member. A few seconds later, Bobby Lashley's music hits. )
JR: Oh, lord. That choice could not have come out worse for R-Truth.
Tenay: We may be seeing his last match in the FWA.
(Lashley comes out reluctantly. He is flanked by MVP, demanding he get in the ring. Slowly, he climbs into the ring. For several tense seconds, after the match is started. The two have a tense stare down. Then Lashley shrugs and takes a step back. He says “I don't have a problem with you,” then rolls out of the ring. While MVP screams at him to get back in, he walks to the back, getting counted out.)
Tenay: Hey, HEY! This is not what the fans expected.
JR: It certainly isn't what the Pride expected either. I can only imagine the price that Lashley will have to pay for that little move. Alpha Male must be livid.
(We cut backstage to Leticia Cline.)
Cline: John Cena. Tonight, you finally get to get your hands on Maven. How do you feel, knowing that he faked the attack on himself to make you look suspect?
Cena: Leticia, let's be clear. Maven didn't “fake” anything. He merely showed the FWA what I am going to do to him tonight. Except, he won't only be on crutches. I am going to hurt Maven so bad that he will need a wheelchair. No one will even say “Million Dollar Maven” ever again, after I leave him in a million pieces.
Cline: So you are ready to reclaim your place as Million Dollar Man's protege?
Cena: I am tired of the claims that I need Ted Dibiase to be something. I was beating people long before the Million Dollar Man decided to sponsor me. The Million Dollar Man wanted to be my manager because I was a rising star, because everyone was falling before me. Like any investor, he wanted to put his name on a rising stock. Ted wants Maven too, for whatever reason. It doesn't matter who puts their name behind mine. I am the biggest thing here, and my time, is, now.
The New Bloods v Brock Lesnar and
(Randy Orton's theme hits, and the three members of the New Bloods: Kennedy, Batista, and Morgan come out, all three taking his signature pose in front of the stage as the sparks come down. Zigglar comes to join them at ringside as they occupy the arena. )
Tenay: Tonight, we end the unjust ban of Randy Orton as the most dominant force in FWA take on Lesnar.
JR: It is hard to dispute that. But Lesnar is a force of nature in his own right. And we have no idea who he will team with.
(Next comes Lesnar's music. He stops outside the ring, waiting to hear who his new teammates are. The screen shows a scramble of faces rushing by. Finally, it goes to black, and the Green H with white surroundings fills the screen. “Stand back, there's a Hurricane coming through.” Hurricane comes out to join Brock, but he drops his head, visibly angry, and walks away.)
Tenay: Well, that is certainly not who Brock wanted as a teammate.
JR: Hurricane has heart. Hurricane has skill. But he is almost half the size of anyone else in that ring. David v Goliath is a popular religious story, but no one wants to be David in the ring.
(Again, the roulette plays, but this time, we get the black and red mask, with flames behind it. Kane's music hits. Brock laughs at this one and slides into the ring, double clotheslining Batista and Morgan before Kane even makes it down. Morgan rolls out, but Batista tries to stand, getting suplexed over the ropes for his troubles. Kennedy takes the first spot by virtue of elimination. As Lesnar's team takes the apron, Lesnar invites Kennedy to lock up with him. Instead, he slaps Brock so hard that he spins around. The camera captures Lesnar's snarling face.)
Tenay: That....was probably a very bad move.
JR: Lesnar is furious. And Kennedy is about to pay the price.
(He spins into a vicious clothesline that turns Kennedy inside out. Rushing him, he lifts him into the corner, and shoulders him so hard he almost flies over the top rope. Pulling him back into, Lesnar bulldoses Kennedy in the corner. He then tosses him all over the ring. Eventually, Kennedy gets thrown into his corner, letting Batista tag himself in.)
JR: Lesnar missed it. Lesnar doesn't know that Batista is the legal man.
Tenay: But he is about to find out.
(Lesnar launches Kennedy across the ring and letting Batista get the drop on him. A running clothesline to the back of the neck drops Lesnar. He drops elbows and knees on Lesnar, trying to keep him grounded. After a pummeling, he pulls Lesnar up for a spinebuster, but Lesnar wraps his legs around, and locks him in a guillotine. Though he drops, Batista is close enough to the ropes to break it. Weakened though, he is now easy prey for suplex city. Brock gets him in his corner and is poised for the tag.)
JR: And if he tags in Kane, the New Bloods are in very real trouble. Even with wearing Lesnar down, he has been destroying them.
Tenay: But wait, something is wrong...
(At the last moment, he pulls away from Kane and tosses Batista into his own corner, demanding Morgan tag in. Happy to oblige, the behemoth comes in, and the two trade punches, rocking each other. They go to clotheslines, each sending the other back a few feet, then shoulder blocks. Finally, Morgan dodges a wild swing and counters with a Carbon Footprint, dropping the Beast.)
Tenay: So much for momentum. Lesnar falls prey to his own vanity.
JR: I don't understand why he didn't make the tag. He could have capitalized on his decimation by letting the fresh man in.
(The New Bloods proceed to pick apart Lesnar, using quick tags to drain him. Even when he can briefly get the upper hand, he refuses tags, and they quickly neutralize him again. Zigglar even gets a couple cheap shots in for extra damage. No matter how impressive Brock is, the numbers begin to wear.)
JR: What the hell is Brock thinking? He has teammates for a reason!
Tenay: Teammates he did not choose and does not trust. Let's not forget the wars that Kane and Brock Lesnar have had. And Hurricane...yeah. I'm sure there's pride involved as well. Brock wants to show he needs no help.
JR: It's not working.
(After nearly 10 minutes of destruction, Kennedy assumes Brock is too weakened to fight back. He lifts him onto his shoulders for the rolling Senton, but Lesnar slides behind. He quickly clotheslines Kennedy. Both men down, he crawls to his corner to tag Kane, who is overly anxious. Right before he gets the tag however, Umaga pulls Kane off the apron, with a deadly Samoan Spike. He taunts over Kane as he grabs a chair and proceeds to beat him with it.)
JR: Just when Brock finally admitted he needed help, his biggest teammate is removed by outside interference. He's back to square one.
Tenay: And what a statement for the Samoan Bulldozer to make at the worst possible time.
(In disbelief, Brock lets Kennedy catch up to him with a mic check. Kennedy slaps Hurricane with Brock's lifeless hand, and tosses him out. As Hurricane enters, Kennedy tags Morgan and tosses Lesnar out for Batista. Mocking Hurricane, he offers him the first shot. Hurricane obliges, dropping Kennedy. Within seconds, Kennedy is on his knees, getting a Shining Wizard for his mockery. It staggers him back into his corner, where Morgan gets the tag.)
JR: For a moment, Kennedy's arrogance backfired. Hurricane actually went toe to toe with the bigger man. He not only held his own but gained the upper hand.
Tenay: But with the Genetically Jacked, Athletically Stacked 7 foot Blueprint, that is over.
(Even with his superior speed, Morgan quickly gets the upper hand, and drops Hurricane with a Carbon Footprint. He lifts Hurricane into the Hellivator. Kennedy demands in. Morgan tags him and demands he list Hurricane. As Kennedy holds him, Morgan goes for the Carbon Footprint again. This time, it hits Kennedy. )
JR: What just happened? This may have just turned on a dime. They are distracted. Do it. Do it now.
(As Morgan stands in shock, Batista screams at him. The two argue while Hurricane rolls over, drapping an arm over Kennedy. The ref counts three while they are distracted. Furious at Hurricane's music, they spin, but he is already out of the ring, being held up by a shocked Lesnar. He lifts Hurricane's arm with an incredulous look on his face as he begins laughing hysterically. The New Bloods are apoplectic as the victorious Lesnar and Hurricane celebrate on the ramp.)
Tenay: And just like that, Lesnar forgets his anger at being assigned Hurricane. Hurricane just allowed him to completely embarrass the New Bloods.
JR: Yet again, Hurricane showed that the size of the man is not as important as the size of his heart. Kennedy has nothing to be ashamed of. He fell to a true warrior.
Tenay: Somehow, I doubt the rest of the New Bloods, especially Randy Orton, will see it that way.
COMMERCIAL
Scott Steiner v (of the Elite)
(Big Poppa Pump is in the ring as we return, the nWo them song fading, waiting for his surprise Elite opponent. “Don't treat me like a woman” blares, and Chyna comes to the stage. She plays to the crowd, making her way in to face off with Steiner. Before the bell even rings, he palms her face and shoves her, sending her flying across the ring. As she tries to get up, he circles behind her, and lifts her into a face first takedown. Steiner starts slapping her hard in the back of the head.Rolling off of her, he drops and starts doing pushups, mocking her.)
JR: This is absolutely disgusting. I cannot believe that Scott Steiner is treating a woman this way.
Tenay: As much as I dislike this, can we really blame Steiner? Who sent Chyna out tonight? The true blame for this lays on the Elite.
(As he lifts her, she tries for a low blow, but he moves, catching it on the thigh. Furious, he balls his fist and starts punching her in the face as hard as he can, splitting her lip and flattening her nose. The ref tries to stop him, but he shoves the man away, before clotheslining her down viciously. He stands over her, arms wide, as the fans boo.)
JR: Oh, for the love of everything holy. This isn't needed. You proved you can beat a woman. Finish it.
Tenay: She got into the ring with a man. She wants to fight like a man. She is going to be treated as she asks for. Someone who can go to Scott Steiner.
JR: I would be disgusted if a man was helpless and beaten like this.
(Dragging her upright by her hair, Steiner starts a series of rolling german suplexes. She is helpless to resist. Pulling her to the apron, Steiner hits a pump handle slam on the outside. She falls bonelessly off the apron. He glares down at you as the boos turn deafening, combined with chants of “You hit women.”)
JR: Apparently I am not the only one unimpressed by Steiner's manhandling of Chyna.
(Lifting her, Steiner takes a running start and launches her like a javelin into the barricade. Flexing over her, Steiner reaches into the crowd, grabbing a chair. This is too much for a fan with a hat, who grabs his arm. Steiner punches him, but the man grabs the chair. As the two struggle, the hat falls off, revealing HHH. Shocked, Steiner nevertheless is able to slam the chair into HHH's stomach and crack him across the back with it. He tosses it down on Hunter's body, and goes back after Chyna.)
Tenay: Oh, come on. This match was supposed to be one on one. What the hell is Hunter doing getting involved?
JR: This wasn't supposed to be a Hardcore Match either! Do you object to Steiner trying to use a chair?
(As Steiner suplexes Chyna back into the ring, over the ropes, the ref checks on her. This allows someone to grab Steiner from behind and pull him off the apron. As he spins around to confront the man, the assailant superkicks him so hard he flies up and rolls into the ring. The man throws his hat in after Steiner, revealing HBK, before diving back into the audience.)
Tenay: What is this? This isn't a match! This is a mugging!
JR: I thought HBK was still on the DL. He just got some Sweet Chin Revenge on Steiner for the hotel assault.
(Chyna is groggy, but she pulls in the stunned Steiner for a quick powerbomb, and covers for the three. She falls back into a stunned seated position. Steiner is livid as her arm is raised. Though Michaels celebrates in the second tier, Steiner clubs her down from behind. He grabs a chair from ringside and proceeds to beat her mercilessly. HHH tries to interfere, but gets a chair shot for his troubles. Steiner opens the chair and gets Chyna in position for another pump handle slam.)
JR: Oh, come on. The match is over.
Tenay: Showing their lack of class, the Elite are content to toss Chyna to the wolves, but won't help her at the pivotal moment.
(As Steiner taunts the crowd, the Rock's music hits. He comes rushing down the ramp and dives into the ring. He lays rights into Steiner, reaching back to the heavens before delivering the final blow to knock Steiner out of the ring. Protecting Chyna, he glares at Steiner, who backs up the ramp, yelling curses the whole time.)
(Before we can go to anything else, The Gymini enter the ring.)
Jake: For months, we have been blamed for sidelining Road Warrior Hawk, sneak attacking him backstage.
Jesse: We never felt the need to correct the record. After all, it's not like destroying the greatest tag team of all time is something to be ashamed of.
Jake: But the truth of the matter...
(The Road Warriors music hits, and they come out to a huge pop.)
Animal: The truth of the matter is, you're both punks. You couldn't stand toe to toe with us, so you are trying to weasel your way back into the title picture. By pretending you're victims, instead of pathetic cowards, you hope that there's an angle to get back in the spotlight.
Hawk: Now, not only have you shown that you can't beat us in the ring, now you're saying you weren't even able to take me out backstage in a sneak attack? You're now just too pathetic to take seriously? Let me guess, Foley has no more use for you two after you've been stripped of the belts due to sidelining his biggest stars so you're pleading for scraps.
Jake: Look, we get it. You beat us. For all our talk, you put us down. You earned our respect, even if we don't have yours. Cause of that, we're being honest. Long as you think it was us, you think that beating us ended it. But you still have a huge target on your back. Maybe from someone else you respect...
Jesse: We get you don't believe us. But we're not who you have to worry about. We don't have the titles after all...
(The Dudleys slide in the ring behind them and take them down, stomping away. After beating the two down, Bubba grabs a mic.)
Bubba: We're tired of hearing you make excuses and lie to these living legends. You two pieces of crap own what you did. And you own this beat down. You are not blaming anyone else for your B.S. And, if you think that this crap is gonna get you another title shot, you're out of your damned minds.
(Bubba holds the belts above the fallen Gymini as Devon tells the Warriors they have their backs. We go to a video package as the Dudleyz theme plays.)
John Cena v Maven
(We see a quick recap of the feud between Maven and Cena leading into their match.)
(“Million Dollar Maven” rings through the arena and Maven's theme, Behind the Stars, hits. He comes out, to loud boos, drowning out his music, in green tights and a green vest. Pretending he doesn't hear the boos, he waves cheerfully to the crowd, blowing kisses and trying to shake hands at ringside, though all the fans refuse.)
JR: He's like a losing politician pandering to a hostile crowd.
Tenay: That's only because St. Louis is a backwards loser city of inbred hicks.
JR: Jesus, Tenay. I can't believe you'd insult our host city like that.
Tenay: Any city that cannot accept the greatness of the Million Dollar Maven is not worthy of anything but scorn.
(As Cena's music hits, he sprints down the ramp, dives into the ring and tackles Maven, pounding away. Maven tries to squirm away as Cena locks him in a side headlock. As the ref checks to see if Maven will tap, DiBiase's music hits. He comes to the ring in a green and white striped tux. Cena lets Maven go to say something to Ted.)
JR: This is....a surprise.
MDM: A match of this caliber is not meant to be judged by mere lackeys. These two men are fighting to see who will be my number one pick going forward. And it is only appropriate that I judge this contest myself, rather than leave it to nobodies.
Tenay: What a great call. This is the only right way to do this match.
(After complaining, Cena starts stomping away at Maven. He drags Maven to his knees, hammering on his face. As he tries to lift Maven, the Million Dollar Star hits a desperation drop kick. Maven tries crawling away, but Cena grabs his waistband, pulling him back. Cena tries to lift him into a backdrop, but Maven spins into a cross body, taking them both down again, and rolls out of the ring.)
JR: Maven wants no part of Cena.
Tenay: Or is he just using great strategy to lure Cena into a trap?
(He tries to catch a breather, but Cena follows close behind him. He staggers behind and clotheslines Maven from behind. Grabbing that bald head, he bounces the current protege's face off the stairs, then the apron.Whipping him into the post, Cena then follows up with a running shoulder block, driving Maven once more into the steel.)
JR: Why isn't the Million Dollar Man counting?
Tenay: No one wants this match to end in count out JR. We want a definitive winner. DiBiase is making sure one of these men truly beats the other.
(Cena continues to batter Maven around the ring. Lifting him up, he backdrops him onto the apron. In pain, Maven rolls into the ring, but, when Cena tries to follow, Maven lands hard on him with a double ax handle. Punding away for several minutes, he locks in a crossface. Cena grabs the ropes, but instead of using them to break the count, he uses them to pick himself up, and grabs Maven in a sidewalk slam. Though he holds Maven for the pin, MDM refuses to count as they are in the ropes.)
Tenay: Ted is neither counting Cena's pin nor counting the rope break. We are going to have a definitive win either way tonight, JR.
(Cena has his way with the Million Dollar underling for several minutes. Whipping him into the ropes, Maven barely dodges a clothesline, hitting a diving neckbreaker to save himself. As Cena is stunned, Maven smiles, bounds against the ropes and hits the throwback. He lifts one hand and does the “You Can't see me”, before going for the five knuckle shuffle.)
JR: The ultimate disrespect, hitting someone's finisher on them
Tenay: Maven is just showing he is better at everything than Cena....including Cena's own moves.
(As Maven goes for the drop, Cena moves. He lifts Maven into a spinning backdrop into front slam. Playing to the crowd, now. It's his turn. He waves his hand in front of Maven's face before actually hitting the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena lifts Maven for the FU, but he rakes the eyes, escapes and slides out of the ring.)
Tenay: Maven is showing why he took the title of DiBiase's protege from Cena.
JR: All Maven is showing is that he's a yellow bellied coward who wants to take cheap shots, not have a real fight.
(Cena chases Maven outside the ring. When he slides in after him, Maven hits the M-Plosion out of nowhere. It only nets him a two. Mocking the crowd, he locks Cena in the STFU. As the crowd cheers Cena on, he drags himself to the ropes. MDM forces Maven to break the hold. As the two argue, an irate Crna drags himself to his feet. He levels Maven with a series of clotheslines. He lifts Maven for the FU.)
JR: Maven has played gimmicks for months. But Cena is about to show the fans who the real champion is between them.
Tenay: C'Mon Maven. Get out of it. Get out of it!
(As he holds Maven for the final blow, MDM hold up the Million Dollar belt, showing Cena what he is fighting for. The two exchange words that the camera doesn't pick up. But finally, the camera sees MDM say “And this is why you will never get it.” He clocks Cena with the belt, allowing Maven to drop free. Staring at DiBiase, Maven nods, and locks in the Million Dollar Dream. As the two fall to the ground, MDM signals that Cena is out, and calls for the bell. He lifts Maven, raising his hand, and wraps the belt around his waist.)
JR: And the Million Dollar Man screws over Cena again. He chose Maven. At least we know that Bound For Glory was no accident.
Tenay: We watched different matches. Ted merely chose the better man out of these two.
JR: Yeah, he “chose” with a belt. Maven didn't win. DiBiase won for him.
COMMERCIAL
Goldberg v Undertaker
Jr: Ladies and gentlemen, now we see a match that we could only have dreamed of. Two absolute titans are going to war.
Tenay: No one ever thought we would see these two legends battle each other, but now we see it tonight, for the first time, at main event. This match is a Wrestlemania main event quality match itself, but we don't have to wait until 'Mania to see it.
(Goldberg's music hits first then he comes out ignoring the massive boos from the crowd. He stands in the ring and waits for the undertaker to come out. He does not have to wait long before the bell tolls and the lights go out. When the lights come back on, Undertaker is already standing behind him in the ring.)
JR: And the games begin before the bell even rings.
(Rather than attack, he waits for Goldberg to turn and notice him. Goldberg startles when he notices the Undertaker behind him . But that hesitation does not last long before he starts punching away. His blows have little effect. The Undertaker simply shrugs them off, reversing his momentum and throws him into the turnbuckle . As he bounces back, Goldberg is launched from the ring out onto the ramp .
Undertaker follows Goldberg out of the ring and proceeds to beat him around the outside of the ring as the ref counts . He rolls Goldberg into the ring, allowing him a chance to breathe. As he gets in Goldberg pounces and tries to take advantage, but again Undertaker negates his offense and launches him head first across the ring. Goldberg tries to land punches as the Undertaker comes at him but is negated again.)
Tenay: Goldberg is not used to being on the receiving end of such treatment. He is the aggressor, never the victim. He seems rocked by this role reversal.
Jr: And this is already a slobberknocker. These two men are already beating the hell out of each other.
Tenay: No one expected pretty. No one expected finesse. We expected pure violence. And in that we are not disappointed.
(With Goldberg caught in the corner, Taker begins laying into his midsection with knees, and vicious jumping elbows to the jaw. Goldberg rakes the eyes. As Taker stumbles back, he tries to get an arm lock, but, as he tries to turn it into a backdrop, Taker elbows his way out, and reverses the hold. Jerking and wrenching Berg's arm several times, he drags him into the corner and climbs to the top for the old school. )
JR: We have never seen Goldberg dominated like this. He is being absolutely picked apart.
Tenay: This cannot be how Goldberg saw tonight going. Especially not with his recent destruction of the elite of the FWA.
(Undertaker tries an early chokeslam, but Goldberg kicks him in the gut and proceeds with a series of uppercuts, and then clotheslines . After several of them fail to drop the Undertaker, he bounces off the ropes right into a spinning submission, the hellsgate. )
Jr: Could this be it. Could this be what makes Goldberg tap out ? Are we seeing the end of the streak?
(For several minutes , the two men struggled in the middle of the ring. At first, it seems like Goldberg is reaching for the ropes , but he realizes he is too far away. Instead he wraps his arms around undertakers waist and lifts him into a devastating turnbuckle powerbomb. Stunned undertaker stumbles back into an overhead belly to belly suplex. )
Tenay: And just like that, Goldberg turns it around. He shows the undertaker that they are in the same league that he is nothing to be messed with.
(Goldberg lifts the Undertaker for a jackhammer but the Undertaker flips out from behind . He catches Goldberg in a chokeslam right in the center of the ring before he goes for a pin. Goldberg kicks out at two. )
JR: Oh my God, these two are not human. That would have killed a normal man. Today: that's how high the stakes are that even the chokeslam which has ended so many matches was not enough to finish the job.
(Undertaker mounts Goldberg for some ground and pound. He rains blows down, but Goldberg rolls him over and proceeds to punch away himself. Soon the two men are rolling all over the ring, trading blows. As the two men get to their feet, Goldberg rushes undertaker. But instead of a successful hit he is caught on undertakers shoulder, and launched into the turnbuckle face first, for the snake eyes. He turns just in time to get a big boot to the face . Undertaker tries to lift Goldberg for the last ride but Goldberg launches him into a backdrop. Goldberg tries for a spear but is again caught in a triangle hold taking him down to the ground and choking him this time he manages to get to the ropes. Again, the two begin trading haymakers, blow rocking the other . After several blows, undertaker goes for another big boot but Goldberg ducks beneath it, bounce against the ropes, and hits a massive spear . Before he can go further, Undertaker sits up . Without missing a beat , Goldberg Spears him while seated. Instead of trying for further offense, Goldberg simply waits in the corner for undertaker to get to his feet. He delivers a vicious third spear into the turnbuckles. He lifts him for a jackhammer right in the center of the ring , and 123. )
JR: And just like that this match is over. The Undertaker certainly put on a clinic tonight, but, yet again, it is Goldberg who stands victorious at the end.
Tenay: But is it, JR? I don't think Goldberg is done.
(Goldberg spears Undertaker right out of the ring. He lines the man up and spears him again through the barricade . Without remorse, he drags him over to the ring stairs, and jackhammers head right on top of them. )
JR: Good lord, stop. You'll kill him!
Tenay: I think that's what he wants, JR. No more Undertaker.
(As a coup de grace , Goldberg drags undertaker's lifeless body to the announcer table. Taunting the crowd with the thumb across the throat, he lifts him up and steals the tombstone , right through the table. As the camera zooms in, Goldberg lifts undertaker's bloody face by the hair, showing him to the crowd. )
Goldberg: Is this your hero? Is this the man you put all your faith in? I broke him . He was next, but now, he is no more.
(Goldberg laughs hysterically as the camera cuts to black. )
COMMERCIAL
WWF Title
Scott Hall (c) v Samoa Joa
(We start with a video recap of the feud between these two men.When it ends, they are both in the ring. As the match announcements start, Hall gets a jump on Joe, punching away. Driving him back into the corner, Hall lays into Joe with everything he has. He makes a mistake when he steps back to taunt, and his running boot only racks him on the ropes as Joe dodges. Samoa Joe then lays in on Hall, kicks, punches, elbows, until he turns and hits that nasty spinning kick to the head. As Hall collapses, Joe begins giving him several face washes, before bounding off the ropes into a running one.)
Tenay: Both of these men have learned so much about the other in their past few matches. Hall is being more aggressive, trying to outdo Joe from the start. And Joe is prepared to counter on a dime.))
(The Samoan Submission Machine lifts Hall for an early Muscle Buster, but he grabs the ropes and fights out. As Joe stumbles back, he dives off with a missile dropkick and goes back to stomping on Joe before locking on a nasty reverse headlock.To his dismay, Joe fights his way to his feet and drops backwards onto him, winding him and forcing him to let go.)
JR: Neither man wants this to be a long match. Both want the victory as early as possible.
(As Hall gasps for air, Joe bounds off the ropes into a Senton. Grabbing an ankle, Joe locks in an STF before transitioning into other submissions. Hall gets to the ropes, and forces the break. But, as he rolls to the outside to get away, Joe bounds off the ropes into a suicide dive, taking both men to the ground in a heap.)
JR: You can hear the fans losing their minds. These two have put on two amazing matches. And the fans are hoping the third time will be the charm for Joe.
Tenay: Smart fans would realize that Hall has beat Samoa Joe twice, a feat alone worthy of Hall of Fame status. The likelihood of Joe turning it around is low.
JR: That seems like an odd prediction when Scott Hall in gasping for breath on the ground and Joe is standing over him.)
(As Hall tries to crawl away, Joe hits a running leg lariat into the barrier and then back suplexes Hall onto it's top. While the champ tries to retreat, the Samoan follows, beating him mercilessly. Scott tries sliding in, only to be caught and dragged back out, tossed into the table, then, later, the barricade again. Each attempt breaks the count, but makes Hall easy prey. Finally, in desparation, Hall hip tosses Joe onto the steel stairs. He returns the face wash favor and slides into the ring.)
JR: One need not be a fan of either man to cringe at what they are already doing to each other.
Tenay: And they are just getting started.
(Bloodied but angry, Joe climbs the stairs and mounts the turnbuckle. He targets the still stunned Hall and dives in a corkscrew manuever. Scott catches him, not without some effort, and hits a Fallaway slam. Joe tries to get up, but Hall hits a running DDT. Pulling the Samoan into the center, Hall locks on a laying version of his abdominal stretch and tries for a submission of his own.)
JR: Hall has modified his signature submission to make it more like Joe's.
Tenay: Yet it doesn't look as painful. He can't get the level of torque.
JR: It is likely harder to get out of though. Joe can't use his weight to hip toss Hall, like he did before.
(After an agonizing crawl, Joe gets a foot on the ropes. After the break, the two men start brawling from their knees, then their feet. They trade several moves, but both return to standing. Close to the ropes, Hall grabs Joe's hair and drags his face across the ropes. With a quick push, Joe hits a spinning kick to the head and launches into numerous powerbombs.)
JR: You have to believe chiropractors across St. Louis are watching this and rubbing their hands in glee.
Tenay: How can you make jokes about this, JR? This is a human being!
JR: Yeah. But a pretty crappy one.
(Holding on, Joe flows into a Bostom crab. Then, when it seems Hall will get to the ropes, he floats into a cross face, then a seated full nelson, then a chickenwing. Hall uses all his weight to get to the ropes and roll Joe onto his back for a pin, breaking the hold at 2.)
Tenay: We do not often see someone turn the tables on Joe like Hall has. It is clear at this point that there was no fluke. Hall is just the better man.
(A quick eye gouge allows Hall to go for the Outsider's Edge. But, as Hall gets him to the top, Joe drops behind, bounds from the ropes and delivers a nasty drop kick into the corner. Not letting Hall recover, he nails a muscle buster and covers.)
JR: We have a new champ!
Tenay: No! Hall kicked out. Joe doesn't have enough to put him down.
(Shocked by the kickout, Joe locks on the Cuchina Clutch. Hall fades fast, and it looks like he is going to tap. But as Joe screams at him to surrender, Hall magically grabs the ropes. Joe is so focused on tapping Hall that he ignores the count, until the ref calls for the bell for refusing to release the hold at the count of 5.)
Tenay: Ad Hall goes 3 for 3 over Samoa Joe.
JR: Joe got so focused on tapping out Scott Hall that he ignored the ref.
(Shocked, Joe confronts the ref. Goldberg climbs to the ring, laughing, to stare at the two men. As Hall vacates, holding his belt high, HBK runs up behind him. He spins him into a nasty superkick. Grabbing the belt, HBK stands above Hall's prone body as the show ends.)
Jay Z: Can I get an encore. Do you want more. So for one last time I need you to roar. “What the hell are you waiting for?” After me there shall be so more. So for one last time, I need you to make some noise.
(We see the face off of Rhyno and Hart, leading to the night's match. Hogan and Edge brawl in arena after arena as he takes the Hulkster off of RVD. Steiner injures HBK leading to the Elite seeking to return the favor. He faces one tonight, though no one knows who. R-Truth slaps away Alpha Male's respect, leading to the blood warrant being put out against him by the King of the Serengheti. After a vicious backstage attack, Undertaker returns the favor, demanding a match at Main Even after laying Goldberg out in the ring.)
Jay-Z: Now if you want this encore, I need you to scream until your lungs get sore.
Linkin Park: Tired of being what you want me to be. Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface. Don't know what you're expecting of me. But under the pressure of walking in your shoes. (caught in the under toe) Every step that I take is another mistake to you. (caught in the under toe) And every second I waste is more than I can take.
(We see the build up between Samoa Joe and Scott Hall as the song reaches its climax. Hall manages to get the first every victory over Joe, even though he taps and the ref doesn't see it. Again, he pulls out a cheap victory using the ropes. Each victory only makes Joe angrier, leading to tonight. Once more....for the title. Both the video and song end at the same time, to see Foley in the ring.)
Foley: We are here, tonight, in St. Louis, Missouri. (cheap pop) And just like this is the Gateway to the West, tonight, the home of the Arch will be FWA's gateway to No Way Out, the last stop before Wrestlemania. We have an amazing card for you tonight. But I can think of no better way to open the show than by the first match we announced for tonight's main event: the Intercontinental Championship match between our Champion, the Man Beast, Rhyno, and the Best There Is, the Best There Was, and the Best There Ever Will be, the Hitman, Bret Hart. Tonight's Main Event will begin with a Main Event.
(Rhyno's music hits and he comes out first, but Bret Hart eschews an intro and just comes out in the middle of Rhyno's entrance.)
Hart: Cut this piece of crap's music. Hey, Foley, I took the liberty of reading your little rules for tonight's Cyber Sunday ripoff. Any person except the men in a match is allowed to vote, and nothing in the rules stipulates that we have to vote for the choices given. I visited your legal department today with a petition, don't worry, I'm giving your fat ass a copy, that demands that tonight's match be rebranded as a Lumberjack match. And, it just so happens, I came with my very own lumberjacks.
(He hands the multipage petition to Foley. Foley briefly converses with someone over his headset.)
Foley: (snarling) Congratulations. Legal indeed agrees with your little loophole. They say I have to honor your petition, as it garnered the most votes, and you delivered the votes before the show started. May you regret this. Good luck, Rhyno. Kick this smug son of a bitch's ass. Ring the damned bell.
Intercontinental Championship
Rhyno (c) v Bret Hart
(The rest of the nWo come out and circle the ring, as Foley steps out and grabs a staff headset, sitting and talking into it, facing away from the action. Distracted by the new arrivals, Rhyno leaves himself open for a headlock, and spinning hip takedown, with Hart holding the lock. He gets to the ropes, forcing the hold to be broken. Getting to his feet, he goes for a clothesline, but Hart catches the arm, spinning him into another takedown, and backwards arm lock.)
JR: While tonight's stipulation was always up in the air, Rhyno never prepared for the possibility that he would have to take on the entire nWo by himself.
Tenay: What are you talking about, JR? Rhyno and Hart are still one on one. Hart is just trying to make sure Rhyno doesn't cheat to retain the belt yet again.
JR: What in the seven hells are you talking about? When has Rhyno ever done anything except overcome ridiculous odds to keep his titles?
(After several more outmanuverings, Hart tosses Rhyno outside, for the Outsiders to work over before tossing him back in. Hart works over Rhyno's legs for a bit, then tosses him to the other side, for Big Show to man handle. Tossed back in, Rhyno gets a reverse atomic drop, followed by a russian leg sweep into the Sharpshooter.)
JR: What was that about fairness, Mike Tenay?
Tenay: Rhyno tried to leave the ring. The nWo just stopped it from happening. That's exactly what lumberjacks are supposed to do.
JR: Oh, for the love of...
(Before the ref can ask if he wants to tap however, “Wooooo” blares through the arena. Flair comes dancing out to the stage. Seconds later, he is followed by Sting, Cactus Jack, Booker T and DDP. Hart releases Rhyno and throws his hands out wide as he faces Commissioner Foley accusingly.)
Foley: Perhaps, you should have read the rule book a little closer before making your choice. A little sloppy for the Best at the game in my opinion. A no-stipulation lumberjack match may not feature lumberjacks all loyal to, or antagonistic to, either participant. And it must feature no less than ten lumberjacks. So, I called one of my famous Foley audibles in correcting the matter. Meet your new lumberjacks: The Cure.
Tenay: What is this? You can't change a match after it has been started!
JR: Well, you shouldn't be able to get a match that wasn't on the list of choices either. NO sympathy here.
(As the Cure chase the nWo to half of the ring, Hart turns back around into a Double A Spinebuster. Rhyno falls on top and begins laying heavy hands on the Hitman.Bret pushes him off and gets up, but Rhyno clobbers him over the ropes, and now it is the Hitman's turn to feel the wrath of the Cure's lumberjacks. DDP and Sting hold his arms while Flair lights his chest up with chops, and then Booker comes in behind with a jumping high kick.)
Tenay: Bret Hart has done nothing to deserve such a mugging. This is obscene!
JR: The lumberjacks are only doing their jobs, Tenay. You said so, yourself.
(Hart is tossed back in to receive a nasty powerbomb, but before Rhyno can get the three, Nash pulls him out. The three original nWo members rough up Rhyno for a moment, but the Cure run over and begin brawling with the nWo. Rhyno gets back in, just in time for a reverse DDT. Hart works Rhyno over, hitting his whole arsenal, before locking on the Sharpshooter yet again. This time, no one saves Rhyno and he looks ready to tap, but instead he drags himself to the ropes and breaks the hold.)
Tenay: Will the cheating never cease? Ric Flair just pushed the ropes in to Rhyno!
JR: Give me some of what you are on, Mike. The nearest cure member was ten feet away. Perhaps you should stop the one sided cheerleading. I heard no complaints when they pulled Rhyno from the ring.
Tenay: He was under the ropes! They merely ensured the count was broke! Perfectly fair.
JR: Perfect BS if you ask me.
(Hart argues with the ref, demanding he call the tap. It allows Rhyno to drag himself to one foot. He spins Hart around and starts pounding away. The two begin trading blows; Rhyno, punches, Hart chops. When he seems like Rhyno is getting the better, Hart kicks his knee out. He tries to drag Rhyno, but Rhyno hits a desparation belly to belly. The two roll around for a second trading punishment. Rhyno gets up first and whips Hart, but Hart reverses and chop blocks the front of his knee.)
Tenay: And this is why he's the best. He overcomes the massive power advantage of Rhyno and picks him apart, piece by piece. No matter what Rhyno does, he always manages to regain the upper hand,
JR: Usually by cheating.
Tenay: You not liking the rules doesn't mean that he is cheating.
JR: (sputters incoherently)
(Hart grabs his legs, but Rhyno kicks him away. Waiting for Rhyno to get to his knees, Hart dives at his for a clothesline, but Rhyno dodges at the last second, bounds awkwardly off the ropes and hits a Gore. He goes for the pin, but Hart gets a shoulder up less than an inch away from the three.)
Tenay: The legend is not defeated by the clumsy amateur. The match continues.
JR: I doubt the entire nation of Canada is cheerleading as hard for Bret Hart as you are now.
(Rhyno can't believe it. Barely able to stand, he uses the ropes to pull himself up. Hart seizes on this, attacking the leg from behind. Holding his ribs, he does everything he can to Rhyno's knee, putting it on the ropes and double stomping the knee, working it. Dragging Rhyno in, he pulls the leg for one last Sharpshooter attempt, but Rhyno grabs his hair and rolls him up, getting the shock pin. As he rolls out of the ring to celebrate on the ground with his belt, Hart comes to in fury, eyes wide. His screams are bleeped out as Rhyno crawls up the ramp.)
Tenay: I cannot believe it! Hart got robbed! Why the heck would the ref not call the hair pull?
JR: Perhaps with all the shenanigans going on, the ref felt it was well deserved. Hart got what was coming to you if you ask me.
Tenay: I DIDN'T ask you.
(Before the show can progress any further, Daniels music hits and he storms to the ring, mic already in hand.
JR: What the hell is this? Daniels isn't even scheduled tonight!
Tenay: And he looks furious, JR. I am willing to bet those two facts are not unconnected.
Daniels: It is shameful that a world class athlete such as myself has been so neglected on this show. I have put on showstopping performances at the past two big name Pay Per Views, not being beaten either time. Despite the showstopping performances I put on, I have had no matches since Bound For Glory. Instead, we waste inordinate amounts of time on lesser talents, men who have less skill in their entire bodies than I have in my pinkie. Men like, Rob Van Dam. Here, we have a man who entered the Rumble near the very end, and simply sat back until all that was left was an old ass man, a legend, no doubt, but an old one. And he simply kicked him off the apron. Nothing impressive. Certainly not as impressive as what I did in the Cruiserweight Royale. Nothing compared to the performance I put on at Bound For Glory. But who gets seen every show, and who gets shoved in the back? I've had enough. If you won't give me my time, I will take it. Rob. We both know you aren't half the man I am. And it's time everyone saw it. You, me, tonight.
Rob: (over the speakers) You're on, dude.
Rob Van Dam v Christopher Daniels
(Rob's music hits, and he comes out, playing to the crowd. As he nears the ring, acting like he can't believe Daniel's tirade, the Fallen Angel launches himself over the ropes, catching RVD with a spinning crossbody. As the fans go wild, he grabs RVD by the hair, slamming his head into the stairs, and starts ramming him, back first, into the ring apron, then the barricade, back and forth. Never letting go, he Northern Lights Suplexes Rob onto the ramp. Jumping up, he throws his arms wild, screaming to the crowd over RVD writhing in pain.)
Tenay: While this match was literally just thrown together, I cannot imagine a bigger match. This match is worthy of Wrestlemania, and yet, you get it tonight, not even as the main event. These two men are facing each other for the first time ever.
JR: And it is already every bit as explosive as we would expect. These two men are going all out.
(As Daniels lifts Rvd, Rob hits an overhead kick out of nowhere. Though it staggers Daniels, he gets a quick thumb to the eye, and follows it with a dropping uppercut. As Rob falls back into the barricade, the Fallen Angel leaps to the apron and springboards into a moonsault. Jumping, Rob catches him in the gut with a spinning wheel kick. Both men land in a crumple as the fans go crazy. “Holy crap” chants start. Rob gets to his feet first and rolls Daniels in, finally getting the match started.)
JR: We have seen incredible, high flying action, and the match is just now getting started.
Tenay: Who knows what these two have in store for each other.
(Daniels jumps RVD as he slides in, pounding away, using knees. After a few excruciating minutes, RVD fights to his feet. He goes for a roundhouse but Daniels ducks, going for the sweep. RVD jumps over and tries for a leg drop, but Daniels moves. He catches Rob in a back drop, which is dodged into a backflip. For several minutes, the two dodge, reverse, chain into others, and counter. Finally, at a stale mate, the two pause, squaring off while the fans chant “This is awesome.”)
JR: This is indeed awesome, Mike Tenay. No one can provide better commentary than the fans.
Tenay: Normally, this match alone would drive a pay per view into the triple digits, and yet, tonight, FWA gives it to you for free as an ADD ON.
(The two men start to lock fingers when Daniels goes for a cheap shot to the gut. Grabbing Rob's leg, he lifts him, and drops into a kneebuster, before suplexing him overhead. Rolling with the move, he brings Rob standing into a brainbuster, then locks in a rear naked choke. Despite fading, Rob makes his way to the ropes. The Fallen Angel goes for the B.M.E. But RVD has just enough left to get his knees up. As Chris writhes in pain, RVD musters all his energy to hit a rolling thunder. Dragging himself over, he barely gets an arm over Daniels, and only gets a two.)
JR: It'll take more than that to keep a world class competitor like Christopher Daniels down.
Tenay: Despite his name, it takes a lot to take the “Fallen Angel” down, and even more to keep him down.
JR: These two men are pulling out all the stops, reaching deep into their bags of tricks to pull out the Win.
(The two men struggle to their feet, with Daniels getting upright first. He pounds away as Rob struggles up. As he goes for a kick, Rob catches his leg and steps over into his signature spinning enseguri. He goes for the split leg, but Daniels moves. As Rob gets up, Daniels hits a low blow, right in front of the ref for a DQ.)
JR: What did he do that for? What a crummy end to a great match!
Tenay: I don't know that Daniels came to win tonight as much as he did to send a message. Although, an old proverb says that you tell the winner of a fight by the man who walks away. Tonight, that man is Daniels.
(As the ref chides him, Daniels pounds away at RVD, bloodying him. He lifts him into the Angel's Wings, not once but twice. After hitting his exclamation mark, he leaves the ring, holding his ribs, but with one hand high. The fans boo as he leaves.)
COMMERCIAL
(As we come back, Sabin's music hits and he comes to the ring, holding his title high. Grabbing a mic, he begins talking even as he steps through the ropes.)
Sabin: Many of you are saying, what the heck? Sabin was not scheduled for tonight. And that's true. But the FWA is in St. Louis, and how could we deprive the Gateway to the West of the X Division Championship. (holding the belt high) St. Louis deserves the X Division front and center. Tonight, however, it is not just about me. St. Louis is a home to legends. St. Louis is wrestling. You have wrestling at the Chase which made so many world wide superstars. NWA Wildside, based in St Louis, made legends. Tonight, I wish to welcome two such legends to the ring. The first, is Cowboy Bob Orton, WWE Superstar and NWA owner. The second is NAIA National Champion and NCAA beast Brian Jackson.
(The two gray haired men make their way proudly, though much slower than their primes, down to the ring.)
Sabin: Let us hear it for these men, two of the greatest, not just in St. Louis, but some of the best to ever live. What you see today in FWA is possible because of the trails these two champions have blazed. We have living legends right here. Cheer loudly. (The fans are deafening.) And because the X Division is about legends, is about the very best the world has to offer, I have the perfect match right here in the ring. Tonight, I, Chris Sabin, will defend against not one, but two, of the most amazing men to ever set foot in the ring. You are in for a treat, as we see if I deserve this title. Ring the bell.
Tenay: An unorthodox matchup to be sure. Orton is not even in Sabin's weight class and NCAA wrestling might as well be a different sport. This would be a challenge for even a monster. Sabin is showing once again why he is our champion. We get not one, but two amazing additions tonight.
JR: Are, are we in the same universe? These two men are in their seventies! Bob Orton is no longer in wrestling shape, maybe 100 pounds overweight. Jackson can barely walk without his cane. Sabin is proposing wrestling senior citizens, and you're cheering him?
Tenay: These are legends, J.R. When can you imagine a match like this again?
JR: Maybe we'll have a singoff between Elvis and Jay-Z next? Jeez.
X Division Championship
Chris Sabin (c) v Bob Orton v Brian Jackson
(As the bell rings, the two older men look confused. Sabin grabs Jackson in a nasty suplex. He drops Orton with a diving kick to the knee. He hits a running DDT on the man while he is on his knees.)
Jr: This is a disgraceful mugging. A disgusting attack on two legends.
Tenay: Name another man who'd have the tenacity to defend his belt against two legends.
JR: No one. Even Kennedy has more class than this.
(Sabin takes his time, picking apart one, then the other, elderly champ. After several barrages, he lifts Orton into the Cradle Shock, right in the middle of the ring. )
Tenay: And it looks like he will retain. Chris Sabin is the champion of champions.
JR: As terrible as this was, at least it is almost over. Wait, no, c'mon Sabin, don't do this.
(Sabin lifts Jackson's prone body over Orton for another cradle shock. As the boos turn deafening, Sabin raises one arm in victory as he prepares to deliver the coup de grace. Before he can hit it, Amazing Red's music hits. As Sabin looks shocked, Red runs to the ring. He drops the old man, for Red to check on. He runs up the ramp shouting curses at Red the whole time.)
Tenay: Leave it to Amazing Red to ruin this showcase of immortals.
JR: Stop it, Tenay. Amazing Red simply couldn't stomach this abuse of septuagenarians, like the rest of us. Mercifully, he stopped Sabin from continuing.
(Before Sabin can get out, Shark Boy appears on the screen.)
Shark Boy: You know, Chris. After that little show of yours, I felt like pointing out, there are a few current St. Louis legends you left out. My personal favorite, who I think all of our fans would have much preferred to see you face is a little more firey...
(The stage explodes as Kane comes out, making Sabin cower in fear. As he backs up trying to get away, Randy Orton dives over the barricade behind him.)
Shark Boy: Of course, another one you've forgotten about was fired. But, since your stupid self decided to “honor” his dad, he got a complementary ticket. And, as much as Foley dislikes him, I doubt he'll object to this...
(Orton spins Sabin into an RKO. He spits on the X Division Champ, and wipes his butt with the belt before throwing it back on Sabin.)
Shark Boy: You thought you were funny, but are you laughing now? I'll be damned if I let you decide to turn the X Division into this. You may be champ, now, but I will make sure your promise to make the X Division better is held true. Wrestlemania is a long time away, but I will make you regret every. Single. Day. And that's the bottom line, because I damned well said so.
Tenay: We have just witnessed the disgraceful...
JR: ….attack on two senior citizens by a young man thwarted by two heroes. Amazing Red and Shark Boy stopped a mugging and kept the dignity of the X Divison.
(Kane is seen with the Road Warriors backstage when Undertaker walks in, APA in tow.)
Undertaker: Brother. As the most dominant Hardcore champion of all time, You have turned a piece of trash made to mock a legend into a prize more coveted than the World Title itself. (he turns to the Road Warriors) You two have secured the Wrestlemania title opportunity for the greatest tag team champs of them all. And, tonight, I end the only pretender to my crown as the most dominant Phenom ever. As the most dominant men in our divisions, it is time that our distance stops. The Legion of Doom tonight rides proud once more, as we set ourselves as the driving force of the FWA. It is a new era, as I ask you, my brothers, to join me once more.
(Undertaker puts his hand into the center. The APA quickly follow. The Road Warriors both put their hands in. And, finally, Kane.)
JR: And if I was a member of the FWA roster, I would be trembling in my shoes. I cannot imagine a more dominant force.
Edge v Hulk Hogan
(Edge and Hogan both come out, no nonsense to their songs, neither doing anything more than storming to the ring. They are in each other's face as the roulette spins on the big screen. It finally lands on Falls Count Anywhere. Edge turns to look and Hogan pounds away, knocking him to the ropes, and then kicking him over.)
Tenay: And the veteran shows why he has been so dominant over the decades. He takes advantage as soon as Edge takes his eyes off the prize.
JR: Some would call that a cheap shot.
Tenay: They are not strategists.
(Hogan slides out and continues the assault, punching Edge anywhere he doesn't protect, driving him up the ramp. Edge catches one punch, pulls Hogan in and hits a Downward Spiral, right on the ramp, out of nowhere. He goes for a pin, but Hogan kicks out right before two.)
JR: Hogan may have more years on Edge. But they don't call Edge the ultimate opportunist for nothing. He can hit moves like that on a dime. You cannot give this man a breath or he will make you regret it.
(Edge launches Hogan off the ramp into the barricade. He tries for a spear for an early win, but Hogan moves and lets him crash through the barricade. Hogan grabs Edge and back suplexes him onto the ramp. Climbing up, he stomps away at his fallen foe. He drops a quick leg and likewise goes for an early pin, with a quick kickout. Frustrated, Hogan starts stomping Edge's face against the ramp, busting him open with a DDT on the edge of the ramp.)
Tenay: And Edge gets the opportunity to bleed all over the ramp. Yet he is already stirring.
JR: Falls Count Anywhere Matches are brutal. They may not be traditional hardcore matches, where anything goes, but everything outside of the ring hurts. A suplex on the ramp is every bit as bad as a chair shot. There is no give in solid concrete.
(Hogan pulls Edge up and continues pummeling him up onto the stage. The two begin brawling and Edge flapjacks Hogan on one of the metal struts that hold up the Titantron. Grabbing Hogan's hair, he bounces his face off of the set repeatedly. Hogan knees Edge in the gut and returns the favor. The two fall to the stage, brawling, rolling to reverse who is on top.)
Tenay: These two men are fueled by hatred. Both feel they have been robbed of the main event of Wrestlemania. They both want to destroy any obstical remaining to their shot at the big dance.
JR: This may end up rivaling Edge's match with Jericho at Bound for Glory in sheer violence.
(Hogan gets a thumb in Edge's eye and retreats into the stands. Edge follows and Hogan back drops him onto the stairs. Pulling Edge through the handrail, Hogan pulls back, using the metal as an improvisational submission device. Edge punches his way free. But, when he goes after Hogan, he gets a big boot, taking him down the stairs. Hogan runs after him, delivering a leg drop at the edge of the landing. Fortunately, Edge moves, and Hogan falls off the riser, holding his leg.)
JR: That may be a fatal mistake. Hogan just painted a big red bullseye on his leg.
Tenay: And no one is more likely to aim for that Target than Edge.
(Edge works his legs, before applying the Figure Four Edge lock. Knowing there is no way out, Hogan wrenches himself backwards to grab Edge's hair, causing pain with every wrench. As Edge drops the hold, Hogan pulls him face first into the barrier. Hogan pulls him onto the top of the barrier, where the two trade punches. Edge headbutts Hogan, and, before he can recover, hits an Edge-o-matic onto the barely padded barricade top. Both men collapse to the floor.)
Tenay: Both men are battered, both men are weakened. I doubt either of their bodies can take any more punishment. They have to be running on fumes.
JR: All that keeps them going is the thought of RVD. Whoever wants his hide more will win.
(Hogan crawls away and Edge follows. They trade a few punches up the ramp back up to the stage. At the top, Hogan gets the upperhand, pummeling Edge to the drop off. Edge dodges a nasty blow and hits Hogan from behind. Before he can get anywhere, Hogan pushes him back and hits the Big Boot. It staggers Edge, dropping him to his knees, and lets Hogan taunt. But, when Hogan moves to capitalize, Edge hits a final spear, taking both men off the stage to crash into stage props below.)
JR: Oh my God! Oh my God! There was nothing there to break their fall. That was a twelve foot drop onto solid concrete. We need paramedics, to see if either man is even breathing.
(As the two men lay motionless, Edge has an arm over Hogan, so the ref counts the pin. He lifts Edge's limp arm in victory, before both men are carried to the back.)
Tenay: That was pure insanity ladies and gentlemen. We just watched two of the best destroy each other simply to say they are second place.
JR: But this, and the brutal victory over Jericho, strengthen Edge's claims that he should be in the main event. We have not heard the last of Edge.
COMMERCIAL
R-Truth v
(R-Truth is already in the ring as we return, his song fading. A video rolls showing the votes for his match against a member of the Flock. After several seconds of the tallies slowly rising, we get a tie. The screen announces that the Flock gets to pick it's member. A few seconds later, Bobby Lashley's music hits. )
JR: Oh, lord. That choice could not have come out worse for R-Truth.
Tenay: We may be seeing his last match in the FWA.
(Lashley comes out reluctantly. He is flanked by MVP, demanding he get in the ring. Slowly, he climbs into the ring. For several tense seconds, after the match is started. The two have a tense stare down. Then Lashley shrugs and takes a step back. He says “I don't have a problem with you,” then rolls out of the ring. While MVP screams at him to get back in, he walks to the back, getting counted out.)
Tenay: Hey, HEY! This is not what the fans expected.
JR: It certainly isn't what the Pride expected either. I can only imagine the price that Lashley will have to pay for that little move. Alpha Male must be livid.
(We cut backstage to Leticia Cline.)
Cline: John Cena. Tonight, you finally get to get your hands on Maven. How do you feel, knowing that he faked the attack on himself to make you look suspect?
Cena: Leticia, let's be clear. Maven didn't “fake” anything. He merely showed the FWA what I am going to do to him tonight. Except, he won't only be on crutches. I am going to hurt Maven so bad that he will need a wheelchair. No one will even say “Million Dollar Maven” ever again, after I leave him in a million pieces.
Cline: So you are ready to reclaim your place as Million Dollar Man's protege?
Cena: I am tired of the claims that I need Ted Dibiase to be something. I was beating people long before the Million Dollar Man decided to sponsor me. The Million Dollar Man wanted to be my manager because I was a rising star, because everyone was falling before me. Like any investor, he wanted to put his name on a rising stock. Ted wants Maven too, for whatever reason. It doesn't matter who puts their name behind mine. I am the biggest thing here, and my time, is, now.
The New Bloods v Brock Lesnar and
(Randy Orton's theme hits, and the three members of the New Bloods: Kennedy, Batista, and Morgan come out, all three taking his signature pose in front of the stage as the sparks come down. Zigglar comes to join them at ringside as they occupy the arena. )
Tenay: Tonight, we end the unjust ban of Randy Orton as the most dominant force in FWA take on Lesnar.
JR: It is hard to dispute that. But Lesnar is a force of nature in his own right. And we have no idea who he will team with.
(Next comes Lesnar's music. He stops outside the ring, waiting to hear who his new teammates are. The screen shows a scramble of faces rushing by. Finally, it goes to black, and the Green H with white surroundings fills the screen. “Stand back, there's a Hurricane coming through.” Hurricane comes out to join Brock, but he drops his head, visibly angry, and walks away.)
Tenay: Well, that is certainly not who Brock wanted as a teammate.
JR: Hurricane has heart. Hurricane has skill. But he is almost half the size of anyone else in that ring. David v Goliath is a popular religious story, but no one wants to be David in the ring.
(Again, the roulette plays, but this time, we get the black and red mask, with flames behind it. Kane's music hits. Brock laughs at this one and slides into the ring, double clotheslining Batista and Morgan before Kane even makes it down. Morgan rolls out, but Batista tries to stand, getting suplexed over the ropes for his troubles. Kennedy takes the first spot by virtue of elimination. As Lesnar's team takes the apron, Lesnar invites Kennedy to lock up with him. Instead, he slaps Brock so hard that he spins around. The camera captures Lesnar's snarling face.)
Tenay: That....was probably a very bad move.
JR: Lesnar is furious. And Kennedy is about to pay the price.
(He spins into a vicious clothesline that turns Kennedy inside out. Rushing him, he lifts him into the corner, and shoulders him so hard he almost flies over the top rope. Pulling him back into, Lesnar bulldoses Kennedy in the corner. He then tosses him all over the ring. Eventually, Kennedy gets thrown into his corner, letting Batista tag himself in.)
JR: Lesnar missed it. Lesnar doesn't know that Batista is the legal man.
Tenay: But he is about to find out.
(Lesnar launches Kennedy across the ring and letting Batista get the drop on him. A running clothesline to the back of the neck drops Lesnar. He drops elbows and knees on Lesnar, trying to keep him grounded. After a pummeling, he pulls Lesnar up for a spinebuster, but Lesnar wraps his legs around, and locks him in a guillotine. Though he drops, Batista is close enough to the ropes to break it. Weakened though, he is now easy prey for suplex city. Brock gets him in his corner and is poised for the tag.)
JR: And if he tags in Kane, the New Bloods are in very real trouble. Even with wearing Lesnar down, he has been destroying them.
Tenay: But wait, something is wrong...
(At the last moment, he pulls away from Kane and tosses Batista into his own corner, demanding Morgan tag in. Happy to oblige, the behemoth comes in, and the two trade punches, rocking each other. They go to clotheslines, each sending the other back a few feet, then shoulder blocks. Finally, Morgan dodges a wild swing and counters with a Carbon Footprint, dropping the Beast.)
Tenay: So much for momentum. Lesnar falls prey to his own vanity.
JR: I don't understand why he didn't make the tag. He could have capitalized on his decimation by letting the fresh man in.
(The New Bloods proceed to pick apart Lesnar, using quick tags to drain him. Even when he can briefly get the upper hand, he refuses tags, and they quickly neutralize him again. Zigglar even gets a couple cheap shots in for extra damage. No matter how impressive Brock is, the numbers begin to wear.)
JR: What the hell is Brock thinking? He has teammates for a reason!
Tenay: Teammates he did not choose and does not trust. Let's not forget the wars that Kane and Brock Lesnar have had. And Hurricane...yeah. I'm sure there's pride involved as well. Brock wants to show he needs no help.
JR: It's not working.
(After nearly 10 minutes of destruction, Kennedy assumes Brock is too weakened to fight back. He lifts him onto his shoulders for the rolling Senton, but Lesnar slides behind. He quickly clotheslines Kennedy. Both men down, he crawls to his corner to tag Kane, who is overly anxious. Right before he gets the tag however, Umaga pulls Kane off the apron, with a deadly Samoan Spike. He taunts over Kane as he grabs a chair and proceeds to beat him with it.)
JR: Just when Brock finally admitted he needed help, his biggest teammate is removed by outside interference. He's back to square one.
Tenay: And what a statement for the Samoan Bulldozer to make at the worst possible time.
(In disbelief, Brock lets Kennedy catch up to him with a mic check. Kennedy slaps Hurricane with Brock's lifeless hand, and tosses him out. As Hurricane enters, Kennedy tags Morgan and tosses Lesnar out for Batista. Mocking Hurricane, he offers him the first shot. Hurricane obliges, dropping Kennedy. Within seconds, Kennedy is on his knees, getting a Shining Wizard for his mockery. It staggers him back into his corner, where Morgan gets the tag.)
JR: For a moment, Kennedy's arrogance backfired. Hurricane actually went toe to toe with the bigger man. He not only held his own but gained the upper hand.
Tenay: But with the Genetically Jacked, Athletically Stacked 7 foot Blueprint, that is over.
(Even with his superior speed, Morgan quickly gets the upper hand, and drops Hurricane with a Carbon Footprint. He lifts Hurricane into the Hellivator. Kennedy demands in. Morgan tags him and demands he list Hurricane. As Kennedy holds him, Morgan goes for the Carbon Footprint again. This time, it hits Kennedy. )
JR: What just happened? This may have just turned on a dime. They are distracted. Do it. Do it now.
(As Morgan stands in shock, Batista screams at him. The two argue while Hurricane rolls over, drapping an arm over Kennedy. The ref counts three while they are distracted. Furious at Hurricane's music, they spin, but he is already out of the ring, being held up by a shocked Lesnar. He lifts Hurricane's arm with an incredulous look on his face as he begins laughing hysterically. The New Bloods are apoplectic as the victorious Lesnar and Hurricane celebrate on the ramp.)
Tenay: And just like that, Lesnar forgets his anger at being assigned Hurricane. Hurricane just allowed him to completely embarrass the New Bloods.
JR: Yet again, Hurricane showed that the size of the man is not as important as the size of his heart. Kennedy has nothing to be ashamed of. He fell to a true warrior.
Tenay: Somehow, I doubt the rest of the New Bloods, especially Randy Orton, will see it that way.
COMMERCIAL
Scott Steiner v (of the Elite)
(Big Poppa Pump is in the ring as we return, the nWo them song fading, waiting for his surprise Elite opponent. “Don't treat me like a woman” blares, and Chyna comes to the stage. She plays to the crowd, making her way in to face off with Steiner. Before the bell even rings, he palms her face and shoves her, sending her flying across the ring. As she tries to get up, he circles behind her, and lifts her into a face first takedown. Steiner starts slapping her hard in the back of the head.Rolling off of her, he drops and starts doing pushups, mocking her.)
JR: This is absolutely disgusting. I cannot believe that Scott Steiner is treating a woman this way.
Tenay: As much as I dislike this, can we really blame Steiner? Who sent Chyna out tonight? The true blame for this lays on the Elite.
(As he lifts her, she tries for a low blow, but he moves, catching it on the thigh. Furious, he balls his fist and starts punching her in the face as hard as he can, splitting her lip and flattening her nose. The ref tries to stop him, but he shoves the man away, before clotheslining her down viciously. He stands over her, arms wide, as the fans boo.)
JR: Oh, for the love of everything holy. This isn't needed. You proved you can beat a woman. Finish it.
Tenay: She got into the ring with a man. She wants to fight like a man. She is going to be treated as she asks for. Someone who can go to Scott Steiner.
JR: I would be disgusted if a man was helpless and beaten like this.
(Dragging her upright by her hair, Steiner starts a series of rolling german suplexes. She is helpless to resist. Pulling her to the apron, Steiner hits a pump handle slam on the outside. She falls bonelessly off the apron. He glares down at you as the boos turn deafening, combined with chants of “You hit women.”)
JR: Apparently I am not the only one unimpressed by Steiner's manhandling of Chyna.
(Lifting her, Steiner takes a running start and launches her like a javelin into the barricade. Flexing over her, Steiner reaches into the crowd, grabbing a chair. This is too much for a fan with a hat, who grabs his arm. Steiner punches him, but the man grabs the chair. As the two struggle, the hat falls off, revealing HHH. Shocked, Steiner nevertheless is able to slam the chair into HHH's stomach and crack him across the back with it. He tosses it down on Hunter's body, and goes back after Chyna.)
Tenay: Oh, come on. This match was supposed to be one on one. What the hell is Hunter doing getting involved?
JR: This wasn't supposed to be a Hardcore Match either! Do you object to Steiner trying to use a chair?
(As Steiner suplexes Chyna back into the ring, over the ropes, the ref checks on her. This allows someone to grab Steiner from behind and pull him off the apron. As he spins around to confront the man, the assailant superkicks him so hard he flies up and rolls into the ring. The man throws his hat in after Steiner, revealing HBK, before diving back into the audience.)
Tenay: What is this? This isn't a match! This is a mugging!
JR: I thought HBK was still on the DL. He just got some Sweet Chin Revenge on Steiner for the hotel assault.
(Chyna is groggy, but she pulls in the stunned Steiner for a quick powerbomb, and covers for the three. She falls back into a stunned seated position. Steiner is livid as her arm is raised. Though Michaels celebrates in the second tier, Steiner clubs her down from behind. He grabs a chair from ringside and proceeds to beat her mercilessly. HHH tries to interfere, but gets a chair shot for his troubles. Steiner opens the chair and gets Chyna in position for another pump handle slam.)
JR: Oh, come on. The match is over.
Tenay: Showing their lack of class, the Elite are content to toss Chyna to the wolves, but won't help her at the pivotal moment.
(As Steiner taunts the crowd, the Rock's music hits. He comes rushing down the ramp and dives into the ring. He lays rights into Steiner, reaching back to the heavens before delivering the final blow to knock Steiner out of the ring. Protecting Chyna, he glares at Steiner, who backs up the ramp, yelling curses the whole time.)
(Before we can go to anything else, The Gymini enter the ring.)
Jake: For months, we have been blamed for sidelining Road Warrior Hawk, sneak attacking him backstage.
Jesse: We never felt the need to correct the record. After all, it's not like destroying the greatest tag team of all time is something to be ashamed of.
Jake: But the truth of the matter...
(The Road Warriors music hits, and they come out to a huge pop.)
Animal: The truth of the matter is, you're both punks. You couldn't stand toe to toe with us, so you are trying to weasel your way back into the title picture. By pretending you're victims, instead of pathetic cowards, you hope that there's an angle to get back in the spotlight.
Hawk: Now, not only have you shown that you can't beat us in the ring, now you're saying you weren't even able to take me out backstage in a sneak attack? You're now just too pathetic to take seriously? Let me guess, Foley has no more use for you two after you've been stripped of the belts due to sidelining his biggest stars so you're pleading for scraps.
Jake: Look, we get it. You beat us. For all our talk, you put us down. You earned our respect, even if we don't have yours. Cause of that, we're being honest. Long as you think it was us, you think that beating us ended it. But you still have a huge target on your back. Maybe from someone else you respect...
Jesse: We get you don't believe us. But we're not who you have to worry about. We don't have the titles after all...
(The Dudleys slide in the ring behind them and take them down, stomping away. After beating the two down, Bubba grabs a mic.)
Bubba: We're tired of hearing you make excuses and lie to these living legends. You two pieces of crap own what you did. And you own this beat down. You are not blaming anyone else for your B.S. And, if you think that this crap is gonna get you another title shot, you're out of your damned minds.
(Bubba holds the belts above the fallen Gymini as Devon tells the Warriors they have their backs. We go to a video package as the Dudleyz theme plays.)
John Cena v Maven
(We see a quick recap of the feud between Maven and Cena leading into their match.)
(“Million Dollar Maven” rings through the arena and Maven's theme, Behind the Stars, hits. He comes out, to loud boos, drowning out his music, in green tights and a green vest. Pretending he doesn't hear the boos, he waves cheerfully to the crowd, blowing kisses and trying to shake hands at ringside, though all the fans refuse.)
JR: He's like a losing politician pandering to a hostile crowd.
Tenay: That's only because St. Louis is a backwards loser city of inbred hicks.
JR: Jesus, Tenay. I can't believe you'd insult our host city like that.
Tenay: Any city that cannot accept the greatness of the Million Dollar Maven is not worthy of anything but scorn.
(As Cena's music hits, he sprints down the ramp, dives into the ring and tackles Maven, pounding away. Maven tries to squirm away as Cena locks him in a side headlock. As the ref checks to see if Maven will tap, DiBiase's music hits. He comes to the ring in a green and white striped tux. Cena lets Maven go to say something to Ted.)
JR: This is....a surprise.
MDM: A match of this caliber is not meant to be judged by mere lackeys. These two men are fighting to see who will be my number one pick going forward. And it is only appropriate that I judge this contest myself, rather than leave it to nobodies.
Tenay: What a great call. This is the only right way to do this match.
(After complaining, Cena starts stomping away at Maven. He drags Maven to his knees, hammering on his face. As he tries to lift Maven, the Million Dollar Star hits a desperation drop kick. Maven tries crawling away, but Cena grabs his waistband, pulling him back. Cena tries to lift him into a backdrop, but Maven spins into a cross body, taking them both down again, and rolls out of the ring.)
JR: Maven wants no part of Cena.
Tenay: Or is he just using great strategy to lure Cena into a trap?
(He tries to catch a breather, but Cena follows close behind him. He staggers behind and clotheslines Maven from behind. Grabbing that bald head, he bounces the current protege's face off the stairs, then the apron.Whipping him into the post, Cena then follows up with a running shoulder block, driving Maven once more into the steel.)
JR: Why isn't the Million Dollar Man counting?
Tenay: No one wants this match to end in count out JR. We want a definitive winner. DiBiase is making sure one of these men truly beats the other.
(Cena continues to batter Maven around the ring. Lifting him up, he backdrops him onto the apron. In pain, Maven rolls into the ring, but, when Cena tries to follow, Maven lands hard on him with a double ax handle. Punding away for several minutes, he locks in a crossface. Cena grabs the ropes, but instead of using them to break the count, he uses them to pick himself up, and grabs Maven in a sidewalk slam. Though he holds Maven for the pin, MDM refuses to count as they are in the ropes.)
Tenay: Ted is neither counting Cena's pin nor counting the rope break. We are going to have a definitive win either way tonight, JR.
(Cena has his way with the Million Dollar underling for several minutes. Whipping him into the ropes, Maven barely dodges a clothesline, hitting a diving neckbreaker to save himself. As Cena is stunned, Maven smiles, bounds against the ropes and hits the throwback. He lifts one hand and does the “You Can't see me”, before going for the five knuckle shuffle.)
JR: The ultimate disrespect, hitting someone's finisher on them
Tenay: Maven is just showing he is better at everything than Cena....including Cena's own moves.
(As Maven goes for the drop, Cena moves. He lifts Maven into a spinning backdrop into front slam. Playing to the crowd, now. It's his turn. He waves his hand in front of Maven's face before actually hitting the Five Knuckle Shuffle. Cena lifts Maven for the FU, but he rakes the eyes, escapes and slides out of the ring.)
Tenay: Maven is showing why he took the title of DiBiase's protege from Cena.
JR: All Maven is showing is that he's a yellow bellied coward who wants to take cheap shots, not have a real fight.
(Cena chases Maven outside the ring. When he slides in after him, Maven hits the M-Plosion out of nowhere. It only nets him a two. Mocking the crowd, he locks Cena in the STFU. As the crowd cheers Cena on, he drags himself to the ropes. MDM forces Maven to break the hold. As the two argue, an irate Crna drags himself to his feet. He levels Maven with a series of clotheslines. He lifts Maven for the FU.)
JR: Maven has played gimmicks for months. But Cena is about to show the fans who the real champion is between them.
Tenay: C'Mon Maven. Get out of it. Get out of it!
(As he holds Maven for the final blow, MDM hold up the Million Dollar belt, showing Cena what he is fighting for. The two exchange words that the camera doesn't pick up. But finally, the camera sees MDM say “And this is why you will never get it.” He clocks Cena with the belt, allowing Maven to drop free. Staring at DiBiase, Maven nods, and locks in the Million Dollar Dream. As the two fall to the ground, MDM signals that Cena is out, and calls for the bell. He lifts Maven, raising his hand, and wraps the belt around his waist.)
JR: And the Million Dollar Man screws over Cena again. He chose Maven. At least we know that Bound For Glory was no accident.
Tenay: We watched different matches. Ted merely chose the better man out of these two.
JR: Yeah, he “chose” with a belt. Maven didn't win. DiBiase won for him.
COMMERCIAL
Goldberg v Undertaker
Jr: Ladies and gentlemen, now we see a match that we could only have dreamed of. Two absolute titans are going to war.
Tenay: No one ever thought we would see these two legends battle each other, but now we see it tonight, for the first time, at main event. This match is a Wrestlemania main event quality match itself, but we don't have to wait until 'Mania to see it.
(Goldberg's music hits first then he comes out ignoring the massive boos from the crowd. He stands in the ring and waits for the undertaker to come out. He does not have to wait long before the bell tolls and the lights go out. When the lights come back on, Undertaker is already standing behind him in the ring.)
JR: And the games begin before the bell even rings.
(Rather than attack, he waits for Goldberg to turn and notice him. Goldberg startles when he notices the Undertaker behind him . But that hesitation does not last long before he starts punching away. His blows have little effect. The Undertaker simply shrugs them off, reversing his momentum and throws him into the turnbuckle . As he bounces back, Goldberg is launched from the ring out onto the ramp .
Undertaker follows Goldberg out of the ring and proceeds to beat him around the outside of the ring as the ref counts . He rolls Goldberg into the ring, allowing him a chance to breathe. As he gets in Goldberg pounces and tries to take advantage, but again Undertaker negates his offense and launches him head first across the ring. Goldberg tries to land punches as the Undertaker comes at him but is negated again.)
Tenay: Goldberg is not used to being on the receiving end of such treatment. He is the aggressor, never the victim. He seems rocked by this role reversal.
Jr: And this is already a slobberknocker. These two men are already beating the hell out of each other.
Tenay: No one expected pretty. No one expected finesse. We expected pure violence. And in that we are not disappointed.
(With Goldberg caught in the corner, Taker begins laying into his midsection with knees, and vicious jumping elbows to the jaw. Goldberg rakes the eyes. As Taker stumbles back, he tries to get an arm lock, but, as he tries to turn it into a backdrop, Taker elbows his way out, and reverses the hold. Jerking and wrenching Berg's arm several times, he drags him into the corner and climbs to the top for the old school. )
JR: We have never seen Goldberg dominated like this. He is being absolutely picked apart.
Tenay: This cannot be how Goldberg saw tonight going. Especially not with his recent destruction of the elite of the FWA.
(Undertaker tries an early chokeslam, but Goldberg kicks him in the gut and proceeds with a series of uppercuts, and then clotheslines . After several of them fail to drop the Undertaker, he bounces off the ropes right into a spinning submission, the hellsgate. )
Jr: Could this be it. Could this be what makes Goldberg tap out ? Are we seeing the end of the streak?
(For several minutes , the two men struggled in the middle of the ring. At first, it seems like Goldberg is reaching for the ropes , but he realizes he is too far away. Instead he wraps his arms around undertakers waist and lifts him into a devastating turnbuckle powerbomb. Stunned undertaker stumbles back into an overhead belly to belly suplex. )
Tenay: And just like that, Goldberg turns it around. He shows the undertaker that they are in the same league that he is nothing to be messed with.
(Goldberg lifts the Undertaker for a jackhammer but the Undertaker flips out from behind . He catches Goldberg in a chokeslam right in the center of the ring before he goes for a pin. Goldberg kicks out at two. )
JR: Oh my God, these two are not human. That would have killed a normal man. Today: that's how high the stakes are that even the chokeslam which has ended so many matches was not enough to finish the job.
(Undertaker mounts Goldberg for some ground and pound. He rains blows down, but Goldberg rolls him over and proceeds to punch away himself. Soon the two men are rolling all over the ring, trading blows. As the two men get to their feet, Goldberg rushes undertaker. But instead of a successful hit he is caught on undertakers shoulder, and launched into the turnbuckle face first, for the snake eyes. He turns just in time to get a big boot to the face . Undertaker tries to lift Goldberg for the last ride but Goldberg launches him into a backdrop. Goldberg tries for a spear but is again caught in a triangle hold taking him down to the ground and choking him this time he manages to get to the ropes. Again, the two begin trading haymakers, blow rocking the other . After several blows, undertaker goes for another big boot but Goldberg ducks beneath it, bounce against the ropes, and hits a massive spear . Before he can go further, Undertaker sits up . Without missing a beat , Goldberg Spears him while seated. Instead of trying for further offense, Goldberg simply waits in the corner for undertaker to get to his feet. He delivers a vicious third spear into the turnbuckles. He lifts him for a jackhammer right in the center of the ring , and 123. )
JR: And just like that this match is over. The Undertaker certainly put on a clinic tonight, but, yet again, it is Goldberg who stands victorious at the end.
Tenay: But is it, JR? I don't think Goldberg is done.
(Goldberg spears Undertaker right out of the ring. He lines the man up and spears him again through the barricade . Without remorse, he drags him over to the ring stairs, and jackhammers head right on top of them. )
JR: Good lord, stop. You'll kill him!
Tenay: I think that's what he wants, JR. No more Undertaker.
(As a coup de grace , Goldberg drags undertaker's lifeless body to the announcer table. Taunting the crowd with the thumb across the throat, he lifts him up and steals the tombstone , right through the table. As the camera zooms in, Goldberg lifts undertaker's bloody face by the hair, showing him to the crowd. )
Goldberg: Is this your hero? Is this the man you put all your faith in? I broke him . He was next, but now, he is no more.
(Goldberg laughs hysterically as the camera cuts to black. )
COMMERCIAL
WWF Title
Scott Hall (c) v Samoa Joa
(We start with a video recap of the feud between these two men.When it ends, they are both in the ring. As the match announcements start, Hall gets a jump on Joe, punching away. Driving him back into the corner, Hall lays into Joe with everything he has. He makes a mistake when he steps back to taunt, and his running boot only racks him on the ropes as Joe dodges. Samoa Joe then lays in on Hall, kicks, punches, elbows, until he turns and hits that nasty spinning kick to the head. As Hall collapses, Joe begins giving him several face washes, before bounding off the ropes into a running one.)
Tenay: Both of these men have learned so much about the other in their past few matches. Hall is being more aggressive, trying to outdo Joe from the start. And Joe is prepared to counter on a dime.))
(The Samoan Submission Machine lifts Hall for an early Muscle Buster, but he grabs the ropes and fights out. As Joe stumbles back, he dives off with a missile dropkick and goes back to stomping on Joe before locking on a nasty reverse headlock.To his dismay, Joe fights his way to his feet and drops backwards onto him, winding him and forcing him to let go.)
JR: Neither man wants this to be a long match. Both want the victory as early as possible.
(As Hall gasps for air, Joe bounds off the ropes into a Senton. Grabbing an ankle, Joe locks in an STF before transitioning into other submissions. Hall gets to the ropes, and forces the break. But, as he rolls to the outside to get away, Joe bounds off the ropes into a suicide dive, taking both men to the ground in a heap.)
JR: You can hear the fans losing their minds. These two have put on two amazing matches. And the fans are hoping the third time will be the charm for Joe.
Tenay: Smart fans would realize that Hall has beat Samoa Joe twice, a feat alone worthy of Hall of Fame status. The likelihood of Joe turning it around is low.
JR: That seems like an odd prediction when Scott Hall in gasping for breath on the ground and Joe is standing over him.)
(As Hall tries to crawl away, Joe hits a running leg lariat into the barrier and then back suplexes Hall onto it's top. While the champ tries to retreat, the Samoan follows, beating him mercilessly. Scott tries sliding in, only to be caught and dragged back out, tossed into the table, then, later, the barricade again. Each attempt breaks the count, but makes Hall easy prey. Finally, in desparation, Hall hip tosses Joe onto the steel stairs. He returns the face wash favor and slides into the ring.)
JR: One need not be a fan of either man to cringe at what they are already doing to each other.
Tenay: And they are just getting started.
(Bloodied but angry, Joe climbs the stairs and mounts the turnbuckle. He targets the still stunned Hall and dives in a corkscrew manuever. Scott catches him, not without some effort, and hits a Fallaway slam. Joe tries to get up, but Hall hits a running DDT. Pulling the Samoan into the center, Hall locks on a laying version of his abdominal stretch and tries for a submission of his own.)
JR: Hall has modified his signature submission to make it more like Joe's.
Tenay: Yet it doesn't look as painful. He can't get the level of torque.
JR: It is likely harder to get out of though. Joe can't use his weight to hip toss Hall, like he did before.
(After an agonizing crawl, Joe gets a foot on the ropes. After the break, the two men start brawling from their knees, then their feet. They trade several moves, but both return to standing. Close to the ropes, Hall grabs Joe's hair and drags his face across the ropes. With a quick push, Joe hits a spinning kick to the head and launches into numerous powerbombs.)
JR: You have to believe chiropractors across St. Louis are watching this and rubbing their hands in glee.
Tenay: How can you make jokes about this, JR? This is a human being!
JR: Yeah. But a pretty crappy one.
(Holding on, Joe flows into a Bostom crab. Then, when it seems Hall will get to the ropes, he floats into a cross face, then a seated full nelson, then a chickenwing. Hall uses all his weight to get to the ropes and roll Joe onto his back for a pin, breaking the hold at 2.)
Tenay: We do not often see someone turn the tables on Joe like Hall has. It is clear at this point that there was no fluke. Hall is just the better man.
(A quick eye gouge allows Hall to go for the Outsider's Edge. But, as Hall gets him to the top, Joe drops behind, bounds from the ropes and delivers a nasty drop kick into the corner. Not letting Hall recover, he nails a muscle buster and covers.)
JR: We have a new champ!
Tenay: No! Hall kicked out. Joe doesn't have enough to put him down.
(Shocked by the kickout, Joe locks on the Cuchina Clutch. Hall fades fast, and it looks like he is going to tap. But as Joe screams at him to surrender, Hall magically grabs the ropes. Joe is so focused on tapping Hall that he ignores the count, until the ref calls for the bell for refusing to release the hold at the count of 5.)
Tenay: Ad Hall goes 3 for 3 over Samoa Joe.
JR: Joe got so focused on tapping out Scott Hall that he ignored the ref.
(Shocked, Joe confronts the ref. Goldberg climbs to the ring, laughing, to stare at the two men. As Hall vacates, holding his belt high, HBK runs up behind him. He spins him into a nasty superkick. Grabbing the belt, HBK stands above Hall's prone body as the show ends.)