Post by wolvenbear on Jan 9, 2021 3:50:59 GMT -5
(I have asked three moderators for help with pictures and have not received a response. So the text goes up minus the pictures.)
Wrestlemania, showcase of the immortals. Headlining the most prestigrous show of the year forever etches ones name in wrestling history. Main eventing a night of memories is the dream of every single athlete to step in the ring. That honor is decided tonight, as the Road to Wrestlemania begins. 40 men enter the ring to determine who is to head to the grandest of all stages, and compete for the World Title of their choice. That honor...
40 voices: Belongs to me.
(Godsmack: When Legends Rise begins playing as flashes of each superstar fill the screen.)
Hogan: Tonight, the nWo finishes its takeover. We hold both titles and after tonight, it'll be an all nWo main event when we sweep the Rumble.
Flair: There's no way in hell I'll let that happen. I may not be in the ring tonight, but Sting, Booker T, and Cactus Jack will die before any member of the nWo wins the Rumble.
Edge: Tonight, I will be the first man ever to step in at Number one and win the prize. And it will be in the biggest Rumble in history. The Royale Rumble will be Rated R.
Orton: Tonight is about the youngbloods, as I Unify the Intercontinental and United States titles, while Batista wins the Rumble, and Ken Kennedy works his way into the X Division Championship.
RVD: Tonight, Rob Van Dam will win the Whole Damn Rumble.
Raven: Come hell or high water, the Flock will do what it always does, destroy everyone in our way to get what we want.
Stone Cold: Tonight's all about the Elite. We're gonna stomp a mudhole in the nWo and walk it dry. We're coming home with both belts and the Rumble victory. Austin 3:16 says Stone Cold is gonna whoop everyone's ass in the Rumble.
"It's burning hot. It's burning high. When ashes fall and legends rise. "
Kane: Tonight, the Rumble goes Hardcore. Blood will be spilled, bodies will be broken and weeping will be guaranteed. I will do whatever I have to to keep this Hardcore Belt around my waist and out of the hands of the Flock.
Hall: It doesn't matter who wins the Rumble. Tonight, Hunter and I go to hell. No disqualification for the WWF Championship. Falls count anywhere. Tonight, the bad guy plays the Game for the last time.
(Flashes of HHH and Scott Hall beating the hell out of each other. Hunter Pedigrees Hall on the ramp. Hall Outsiders Edges HHH into the wall backstage. HHH hits Hall with the Sledgehammer. Hall spraypaints HHH at the contract signing.)
HHH: Tonight I will show why the cerebral assassin is the greatest man to ever step in the ring when I destroy Scott Hall and end his career. Scott will be sliced on the Razor's Edge and Triple H will go to Wrestlemania as the WWF champion.
Steiner: It doesn't matter how many shows you've stopped Shawn. Tonight, the Heartbreak Kid will have his back broken. Let's see how well you shimmy in a wheelchair you son of a bitch.
(Flashes of Michaels superkicking Steiner off the stage. Steiner suplexes Michaels onto the ring steps. Michaels does the leap of faith off the titantron onto Steiner. Steiner Frankensteiners HBK off the top rope through a table, followed up by pummeling him with brass knuckles.)
Michaels: Steiner and I have been at each other's throats for months. Tonight, I end his dreams. I go home with the belt and he goes to the hospital. He will be the latest show I stop.
The Road to Wrestlemania begins tonight.
We cut to the arena, as the pyros go off. Mick Foley is already in the ring.
Commissioner Mick: Tonight, the Road to Wrestlemania begins. And we have a hell of lineup to start off the grandest leadup to the Showcase of Immortals ever. We have two main event title matches, which are guaranteed to rival whatever occurs at Mania, as the Heartbreak Kid takes on the Master of Suplexes, Scott Steiner and Triple H and Scott Hall meet in a no disqualification match, with all outside interference banned. Rhyno takes on Randy Orton in a title Unification match, and Shark Boy defends his X Division title in a unique take on the rumble. And the Rumble itself is the largest we have ever had. But, as is often the case, in setting up such a momentous event, sometimes things slip through the cracks. Tonight, we have overlooked one of our greatest stars.
(Rey Mysterio's music hits, and he explodes up from the stage, coming to meet Mick in the ring.)
Mick: I apologize for the oversight Rey. You are truly one of our greatest stars. I cannot imagine the biggest Royale Rumble ever without you. Tonight, since you have one of the greatest feuds of all time, spanning 5 continents, I can think of no better way to start off the Road to Wrestlemania than by reigniting this rivalry after a decade. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, our opening match is Rey Mysterio.....vs....Psychosis!
(Psychosis' music hits and he saunters to the ring. After a brief stare down, he extends his hand, and Rey takes it.)
JR: This starts with a show of respect. These two men have faced off literally hundreds of times. Every single match has been a classic.
Taney: I can think of no better way to start of this show. We are in for a true treat.
( The bell rings, and the two men square off. For several minutes, every single move one does is countered by the other. Hurricanranas are tossed off. Hip tosses lead to full flips, landing on their feet. Dodges and reversals are the name of the game. After 5 minutes, both men pause. A momentary tension leads to a brief smirk and nod by Psychosis before he extends the hand again.)
Taney: These two men know each other so well. They have literally grown up together, and have faced off in hundreds of countries. Each man knows the other's moves as well as he knows his own.
(When Rey takes Psychosis' hand, he pulls him into a knee into the gut. Taking advantage of the loss of breath, he whips Rey into the corner, and then clotheslines him down.Picking him up, he throws Rey with a full flip german suplex, landing him on his stomach.)
JR: It's not pretty, and it's not what you want to see in a match like this, but, unfortunately, it's going to have to be surprises like that that let either man get an edge.
(Psychosis takes advantage, following up with several brutal moves. Doing a running turnbucklebomb, he flows into a vicious brainbuster and then locks Rey in a rear naked choke, demanding the ref call the submission. Rey however, refuses to tap and manages to reach the ropes. As Rey is released, he tries to use the ropes to pull himself up, but Psychosis quickly wraps Rey in the ropes, and uses the five count to wear him down. As Rey pulls himself free, Psychosis executes a nasty kneebreaker into another flip suplex.)
Taney: Like it or hate it JR, keeping Rey off his feet and taking away his ability to execute those high flying moves is good strategy.
JR: This is a different game than we normally see from Psychosis. Normally, he's as high flying and risk taking as Mysterio.
Taney: But that's exactly what Rey expects. By taking himself out of his normal game, he has been able to gain the early advantage.
(When Rey kicks out, Psychosis pulls him into a verticle suplex then faceplants him over the ropes onto the apron. Rey tries to pull himself up, but Psychosis drop kicks him off the apron. Playing to the crowd, Psychosis finally sees Rey is on his feet and goes for a suicide dive. This time however, Rey meets him with a spinning kick to the face.)
JR: Apparently Psychosis isn't the only one who came prepared to change up his game. We've never seen that move out of Rey before.
Taney: And it's a game changer. Despite taking all the punishment so far, Rey is now more in it than Psychosis.
(After doing a few moves on the downed Psychosis, Rey mounts the steps for a crossbody. However, Psychosis catches him and runs him into the ring post. He picks him up and rolls him into the ring.)
JR: And just like that, the comeback is over.
(Psychosis goes for a powerbomb, but Rey reverses it into a hurricanrana tossing Psychosis into the ropes. After a quick breath, he hits the 619. While he is waiting for Psychosis to get up, Kaiodai members Akio and Sakoda hop over the barracade and attack Rey, pulling him off the apron. Sakoda slides into the ring and makes quick work of Psychosis. Motioning for Akio to toss Rey in, Sakoda slams him to the mat with the YinDrop to let his partner hit the Yang time.
JR: Not like this damnit. This isn't how this is supposed to end.
Taney: There is a certain poetry to this. We are left without a clear winner or loser. Rey and Psychosis stand on equal ground.
(Akio and Sakoda pose proudly over their victims.)
(Backstage, the Sandman is tossing back a beer, talking to a female interviewer, when Finley comes up out of nowhere and attacks him. After several interesting uses of the scenery to assault Sandman, he hits the Celtic Cross on the concrete and leaves him in a broken heap.)
(When we come back to the ring, Chris Benoit is already in it, his theme song playing as he flips off the booing crowd. Sylvester Turkay's music hits and he starts to make his way to the ring. Before he can get there, the World's Greatest Tag Team Ambushes him. The two men procede to pummel him, knowing the bell hasn't rung. After several minutes of assault, they roll him into the ring. Benoit demands the ref call for the bell and goes for the cover.)
Taney: We may see the quickest victory in Royale Rumble history right here.
JR: What a despicible tactic.
Taney: Are you surprised, JR? Team Angle has made it clear that their goal is to destroy this man for "his disrespect" to their founder.
JR: I know, I know. They've done every underhanded thing in the book. I shouldn't be shocked, but damnit, that doesn't mean I have to like it.
(Turkay kicks out at two, to the shock of all three men. After complaining to the ref, Benoit locks in the crossface.)
Tenay: I'm impressed he kicked out, but this has to be it.
JR: Damnit, Turkay, fight! Beat these cheating bastards.
(As if hearing JR, Turkay makes it to the ropes. Benoit is livid and calls WGTT to the ring. As the ref warns that they will be disqualified, they lift Turkat up. Before Benoit can do anything, Elijah Burke runs to the ring and suplexes Haas out of the ring. Benjamin tries to intervene, but Turkay catches him for a side overhead suplex. )
JR: The odds have been evened!
(Benoit starts assaulting Burke, but leaves himself open to Turkay, who catches him in his own endless german suplexes. While Turkay handles Benoit, Burke hits the EB express double knee slam into Benamin in the corner barracade. Hass tries to intervene, only to be given a nasty suplex into the stairs for his trouble. Turkay finally drops Benoit, only to lock in a nasty submission move. Though Benoit holds out for a few seconds, he quickly taps, as he is nowhere near the ropes.)
JR: I can't say that's the match we were hoping for. But damned if I don't like the result.
Taney: Benoit got outside forces involved and it hurt him badly. Burke's interference made the difference, and it wouldn't have been allowed, but for Benjamin and Haas getting involved.
JR: Serves them right!
(Burke slides into the ring to raise Turkay's hand as WGTT help Benoit limp to the back, issuing threats the whole time.)
(Backstage, A-Train and Raven are seen confronting the Commissioner in the hall.)
Raven: Damnit, Foley, what are you going to do about Finley attacking Sandman tonight?
Foley: Write a strongly worded letter?
Raven: Do you think this is funny?
Foley: Well, as JR so often reminds us, 'this ain't ballet'. How many people has the Flock attacked backstage again?
Raven: Not the point! Damnit! I want Finley!
Foley: (shrugging) I have no issues with that. Tomorrow night on Raw, you got him. I tell you what, since he likes to brawl, we'll make it a falls count anywhere match.
Raven: I.....well, that actually works...But what are you going to do about our hardcore title shot? The Flock deserves that belt!
Foley: I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you're about to suggest that I just let the Flock replace him with someone else? And....since you have A-Train here, I'm going to assume he's the replacement. Somehow, I doubt Kane will object. So, we'll make that change as well.
Raven: You better....oh. Well...that's right Foley. At least you know what's good for you.
(Raven storms off, and A-Train remains behind trying to menace the Commissioner. Foley reaches into his pocket.)
Foley: Tic tac? (A-Train glares and growls.) Are you sure? You kinda need it.
(3D's music hits as we transfer back out to the ring.)
Announcer: The following match is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the Tag Team Championship. Introducing first, the challengers: The Dudleyz, Team 3D.
Before the Dudleys can get to the ring, the Gymini Brothers run down and attack them on the ramp. The two men focus on D-Von, ramming him into the ring post before throwing him in the ring. As they enter, they demand the ref call for the bell, and go for a pin.
JR: You're kidding, after everything...
Tenay: And the Gymini are still wearing the Road Warrior's famous shoulder pads that they took from Animal at Armaggeddon when they won the belts.
JR: No one has seen either of the Road Warriors since that vicious two on one handicapped match. Animal is not a small man, but they picked him apart for ten minutes. He barely landed a blow.
Tenay: And of course it was a handicapped match because Hawk was brutally attacked backstage two weeks before their match. Then, Road Warrior Heidenreich lost a match and was banned from ringside.
(Before the ref can count two, D-Von has kicked out.)
Tenay: The Dudleyz aren't dead yet. But one has to wonder how much this sneak attack took out of them. Kicking out of the first pin doesn't mean they can go the long haul.
JR: The Dudleyz made this challenge after how these men treated a legend. They may come to regret that.
(For several minutes, the Gymini ruthlessly attack D-Von, tagging in and out and delivering vicious moves to him. After several minutes Bubba makes his way back to the apron. The Gymini work well in keeping D-Von from his corner. No matter how hard he tries to get back, the two continue to mercilessly divide him from his partner.)
Tenay: It doesn't matter if you like or you hate the Gymini, there has never been anyone better in wrestling in separating a man from his partner and picking him apart.
JR: It was almost four months before we ever saw a single man get a tag in against these men. Their first 30 or so matches were essentially 2 on 1, they were so good at the tag team game.
Tenay: It's easy to destroy a single man. But, even now that Bubba Ray Dudley is back in the game, the Gymini have, essentially, kept this a two on one match,
(Finally, after several minutes of back and forth, Jake makes a mistake, allowing D-Von to hit the Testify Bomb and drop both men to the canvas. The crowd goes wild encouraging D-Von to tag in his partner, as both men crawl to their corners. D-Von makes the tag a second before Jesse does.)
JR: And business, as they say, has just picked up.
(Bubba dives into the ropes and clotheslines Jake before knocking Jesse off the apron. He delivers a bunch of punches before giving him a power slam. Seeing D-Von on the apron. HE gestures for the Wassup. As D-Von slowly climbs the turnbuckle, Jesse pushes him off into the barricade.)
Tenay: It doesn't seem to matter what the Dudleyz do, the Gymini are always a step ahead.
JR: Had it not been for that vicious pre-match assault, D-Von would've hit that move.
Tenay: That's possible. But we're dealing with the reality, where the Gymini have Bubba two on one.
(As Jesse crawls into the ring, Bubba pummels him. Jake attacks him from behind, and pulls him up, only to receive a surprise Bubba Cutter.)
JR: That was out of nowhere!
(Before Bubba can get a pinfall, Jesse breaks it up. He tries to get offense in, only to get a Bubba bomb. As he rolls out of the ring, Bubba tries to pick Jake up, only to get a thumb in the eye, which the ref doesn't see. Before he can capitalize, D-Von dives over the ropes and takes him out. The two roll out of the ring brawling. As Bubba is distracted, Jesse slides in behind him. As Bubba turns around, he gets the Warrior's shoulder pads to the face.Tossing it out before the ref sees, Jesse goes for the pin.)
Tenay: Not this way.
(D'von rolls in to break up the pin. Jake slides in behind him as the two trade blows. As D-Von goes for another testify bomb, Jake hits him with a diving clothesline, and throws him out. The Gymini pick up a stunned Bubba and hit the Cross Trainer. A quick 3 count follows . They grab their shoulder pads and hold their belts over Bubba's prone body.)
JR: You can't take anything away from the Dudleyz. They did their damnedest, but are the latest victims of the Gymini.
Tenay: And we'll never know if they would've pulled it out, because of the sneak attack to start the match.
JR: But now, ladies and gentlemen (he puts his hand to his ear)...wait a minute, I've just been informed that the Hardcore Title match scheduled for later tonight has already begun backstage.
(The camera cuts to the back, where A-Train and Kane are already trading punches. Kane grabs Train by the throat, but he quickly jerks Kane's mask down over his eyes. While he tries to fix it, Train grabs him by the hair and rams him face first into the wall. Taking a step back, he delivers a vicious Axe kick to the back of Kane's head, making a sick thud against the concrete. As Kane crumples, Train goes for a pin.)
Tenay: This is, of course, all legal with the hardcore title. No rules, anything goes, falls count anywhere.
(The ref begins to count, but Kane kicks out at two.)
JR: No one is exactly sure what happened. But the commotion drew the attention of other wrestlers about 5 minutes ago. They got officials, and the camera crew just got back there. It was decided to simply start the match then and there.
Tenay: Isn't this just like the Flock to sneak attack and try and steal a victory.
JR: I won't disagree, but we don't actually know who started it. For all we know, A-Train went to try and get into Kane's head and Kane started throwing real jabs to Train's verbal ones.
Tenay: Given the Flock's history, I'd say it's more likely that A-Train tried to get the jump on his opponent and it backfired.
(Reaching up, Train grabs a stack of crates and pulls them down on Kane. Pulling a loose plank out, he wields it like a club and starts hitting Kane.After several blows, he throws it down on Kane. Grabbing his leg, he drags him over near the stairs and prepares for a slingshot.)
Tenay: Oh for the love of...I know I said no rules, but that's too much.
JR: Don't do it Train, you may kill him.
(Before A-Train can get both legs, Kane starts kicking him. He pushes him hard backwards, and Train has to catch himself so that he doesn't fly over the rail. He staggers back, only to be caught with a knife edge uppercut to the throat. Holding his neck, he takes a few steps back, allowing Kane to deliver several more as he rises. He drops to one knee, and Kane begins to club his back mercilessly with clotheslines.
JR: A-Train may be having a little bit of buyer's remorse about stepping up to fill Sandman's shoes.
Tenay: Kane is one of our most dominant Hardcore Champions that we've ever had. You don't have six successful title defenses in one night if you're not a bad bad man.
(Kane grabs Train by the throat with both hands and pushes him towards the stairs. Hesitating a second, he instead suplexes him by the throat the other way, his back cracking against the concrete floor. Rather than go for a pin, he drags Train to his feet and whips him into the wall. When Train staggers back, Kane grabs him in a sidewalk slam, and crashes him right through the crates. )
JR: Kane's chiropractic services are effective, for all the wrong reasons. It goes without saying that no one deliberately seeks him out.
Tenay: Unfortunately, he is all too willing to find his own patients, and deliver his services to them. The only upside is that they're free.
JR: Oh, no, Tenay. I'd say A-Train has paid a lot for that service.
Tenay: You never come out of a match with Kane unscathed.
(Train starts trying to crawl away, but Kane grabs his foot and drags him back. Grabbing a chain, Train wraps it around his fist, and when Kane goes to grab him, proceeds punching him. When Kane drops to a knee, Train wraps the chain around his neck and jumps on his back.)
Tenay: Desperation is the mother of invention.
JR: I think it's occurred to A-Train that he doesn't want to keep going toe to toe with Kane. He's bleeding from his back from the slam into the crates. His eye is starting to swell. And Kane doesn't seem slowed at all.
Tenay: Kane's not exactly the type to give up though. If he's trying to get the submission, Kane has never tapped before.
JR: He doesn't have to tap, though Tenay. If he passes out, A-Train wins the same as if he tapped.
(Kane fights through the lack of air, pushing himself to his feet. Grabbing Train's legs, he lunges backwards into the wall, and again. One the grip is loosened, he jumps and puts both of them through a table. As they lay there, the ref begins to count.)
Tenay: No matter what A-Train does, Kane seems to have an answer.
(Train weakly gets a shoulder up right before the third slap of the ref's hand.)
JR: He's down but not out.
Tenay: Though he may wish that he just let the ref end this, the way this is going.
(Crawling out from under Kane's still body, Train reaches into a nearby toolbox and pulls out a hammer. Staggering back to Kane, he grabs his hair and starts to pull back when Kane sits up and grabs his throat for a chokeslam. Train drops the hammer and grabs Kane's arm.)
Tenay: Vintage Kane.
JR: A-Train had some bad intentions, but from the look on his face, he sees Kane has some bad intentions too. And the fear in Train's eyes says it all.
(Before Kane can fully get to his feet and deliver the deathblow, A-Train kicks him in the groin. As Kane doubles over, Train lurches away gasping heading for the stage. As Kane follows, Train grabs a chair and slams it over his head. All this does is anger Kane, who starts chasing him. Train pauses again twice to hit Kane with the chair as he retreats. On the third time, Kane big boots the chair into his face, sending him flying through the curtain. )
JR: And, after all this time, the two men finally make their way into the arena.
(Kane pulls Train into a powerbomb position. Doing the trademark throat cut motion, he lifts him into a drop down powerbomb, right onto the ramp. As the fans chant Holy shit, he pulls him up and launches him off the side of the ramp, right into the barracade. )
Tenay: Good lord, did you hear the sound that made JR?
JR: Human flesh loses to cold steel everytime. Between the unforgiving ramp, and the unmoving barracade, I'm not certain which is worse.
Tenay: Ladies and gentlemen, I hope that if you have children watching, you have sent them out of the room. This is not fit for young eyes.
(Kane hops down from the ramp, lifts the man onto his shoulder and starts carrying him to the ring. When he gets to the end of the ramp, he runs and launches A-Train face first into the ring post. Without giving him a second to breathe, he quickly flips him into an Alley Oop right onto the ring steps. )
JR: The human body is not meant to withstand such treatment. Come on Kane, that's enough. You're going to put this man in the hospital.
Tenay: Right or wrong, JR, this is what these men sign up for when they ask for a shot at the Hardcore Title.
JR: Not to this level Tenay.
(Kane goes for a pin, but A-Train kicks out at 2.)
JR: Stay down, Train. Just stay down. It's not worth it.
Tenay: I'm impressed A-Train still has the capacity to kick out after all that. As you can see on the screen, the sound that first alerted people to the fight was when Kane put A-Train through the locker room door.
(As Train tries to pull himself to his feet, Kane lifts the top half of the stairs. He runs at Train, but, at the last second, Train drop kicks his knee, and Kane drops face first onto the stairs he was carrying. Grabbing a nearby chair, Train proceeds to repeatedly crash the chair against Kane's head, driving him face first into the stairs. Pulling him out, he sets him against the railing, props the stairs in front of him, and delivers a running Axe kick into the metal. This only nets him a 2 count on the pin.)
Tenay: The fans are saying it for us. "Holy S" indeed.
JR: How do you kick out of something like that? Kane is not human.
(Train complains in disbelief to the ref. Pulling a table out from under the ring, he sets it up. Grabbing the Big Red Machine's legs, he positions him under the table. Taunting him with the throat cut, he whips him up into the bottom of the table. When it doesn't break, he does it again. The third time is enough, as Kane crashes up through the wood.)
JR: OH MY GOD. That's the move he normally does on the bottom rope...the train wreck.
Tenay: As unpleasant as being put through a table is, Kane just went through the metal supports before the wood, increasing the risk of injury.
(Again with the cover. This time Kane kicks out an inch before the third count. Train falls off of him in total shock.)
Tenay: He has to be wondering at this point just what he has to do to keep Kane down.
(Rolling Kane onto the apron. Train delivers a series of elbows to the chest and neck. After a running high knee to the back of Kane's head, he removes the padding by his opponent and hops up to the apron himself. He lifts Kane up for something...but we never get to find out what because Kane grabs him without warning and chokeslams him off the apron to the floor below.)
JR: He might've just broken his spine on that one.
Tenay: That backfired in a big way.
(Kane drops to the floor and grabs a chair, tossing it into the ring. A- Train is sent rolling in after it. Finally, Kane walks over and grabs the ring crew's camera. Sliding into the ring, he waits for Train to make his way to his feet.)
JR: Oh, come on, Kane. You could've finished this already. Enough.
Tenay: I think he's determined to send a message. To the Flock, and maybe to the whole roster.
(Once Train gets to his feet, Kane smashes the camera over his head. Taking the cord, he wraps it around Train's neck and begins strangling him, placing his foot in his back and arching backwards to completely cut off the air. Within moments, Train is limp. The ref raises his hand.)
JR: Brutal as it was, this one is over, ladies and gentlemen. A-Train has been retired in the station.
(Before the ref can drop the hand the third time, Kane releases the cord and lets Train fall limp. He walks over to the chair.)
Tenay: Not quite, JR. I think he wants to add the exclamation point to this statement.
(Kane sets the chair up. Dragging Train's limp body over, he picks him up, and delivers a Tombstone Piledriver onto the open chair, which crumples under the move. He pins and the ref counts three.)
JR: Good lord, he just broke A-Train in half.
Tenay: He just showed why he is our Hardcore Champion, and the Flock will likely think twice before they try him again.
JR: I don't like the way he did it, by god. But it was effective.
Tenay: What do you want to bet Sandman is sitting in the hospital right now, grateful that Finley put him out tonight?
JR: Speaking of, we have just received word on Sandman. He has suffered a broken arm and a concussion from Finley's assault tonight. We wish Sandman the best and hope he returns soon.
(Going backstage, we see all the remaining people in the Royale Rumble drawing their numbers. After Hogan pulls his number, he approaches Edge.)
Hogan: Hah. You see that? (silence) I'd love to wish you good luck, but we both know that by the time I get to the ring, you'll be long gone.
Edge: Old timer. Not only will I still be there when you get there, I promise I will eliminate you personally.
(The screen goes to Shark Boy holding up the X Division title.)
Shark Boy: I don't give a damn what anyone says. THIS belt is the reason to be here. It means more than both the world titles combined. So what I'm going to do, is I'm going to do the biggest X Division match up in history. While 40 men fight for the chance to challenge for the belt, we will have ten men challenge FOR the belt. This will be the biggest title match ever.
(Quick flashes of the violent matches for X Division qualification.)
Foley: In honor of Shark Boy's request, we are going to have a unique and fascinating championship match. Since we are at the royale rumble, we will start with two men. Every minute we will add a man. Until all 10 men are in the ring, the match is over the top Royale Rumble style. However, once Shark Boy steps into the ring, as the last competitor, we will go to a single fall match, pin or submission.
(After several flashes of qualifying matches, we cut to Sabin and Shark Boy backstage.)
Sabin: You do this alone, and I promise, you're not walking out of Rumble without the title. Let me in, I'll watch your back.
(As Legends Rise plays, we see clips of the ten stars in this match all hitting high flying moves on each other, culminating in Shark Boy hitting the Deep Sea Drop on Christian before Sabin lifted him into the cradle shock. The two men raise each others arms.)
Shark Boy: I'm the baddest champ we've ever had, and, no matter how many people we have against me, I'm walking out with the title at Rumble.
(The camera cuts to the center of the ring, where Shelton Bejamin and Ken Kennedy are standing.)
Benjamin: Right now, you have the two best men to carry the X Division Title in the ring. And yet, neither of us were even offered a qualifying match to be in contention.
Kennedy: Between the two of us, we have scored 19 victories over the men about the get in this ring tonight. Put bluntly, the two of us should be challenging Shark Boy for the belt with no outside influences. But, I guess Mick Foley can't stand self proclaimed bungholes excelling over his asskissers.. So...
(Foley's music hits and he walks to the stage.)
Foley: Now, if it were up to me, I'd tell you both to do things that are anatomically impossible to yourselves. However, the champ has just informed me that he wants you too included. He won't have you little "whiny women" running around claiming that he's only champ because you were excluded. So...
Kennedy: Now we're talking,Foley. You see..
Foley: You shut the hell up! (fans pop) I agreed that I would include you. But it;s on my terms. You two are the first in the match. Which means we start, now!
(As the fans go crazy, and a ref slides in, Benjamin and Kennedy look at each other. Laughing, they shake hands and face the entrance.)
JR: Damnit, Foley thought he was teaching these two a lesson, and yet they got the better for him.
Tenay: You don't have to like it, JR, but it's a hell of a ring strategy.
(Once the countdown ends, Super Crazy's music hits. He walks down and pauses at the end of the ramp.)
Tenay: What is he doing JR?
JR: What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Crazy is simply waiting until he has better circumstances to go in.
(After a minute, Latino Heat hits, and Chavo comes walking down. He and Crazy hug, and then slide into the ring. While Chavo is intercepted by Kennedy, Benjamin misses an opportunity to stop Crazy. Once he's committed to a sprawl, Crazy pulls him out under the bottome rope and slams him into the stairs before he slides behind and breaks up Kennedy's beat down on Chavo.)
JR: The strategy seemsed pretty sound, until their enemies used the same tactics against them.
tenay: Kennedy and Benjamin planned a two on one. They just didn't realize they'd be on the "one" side.
(As the seconds count down, Tajiri;s music hits, and he runs to the ring. On his way, he gives Benjamin a nasty kick to the head before sliding in. )
JR: The head of Kaiodai has made his presence felt in taking out Benjamin before getting in the ring.
Tenay: Tajiri is one of the most gifted and vicious competitors we have ever seen in this ring. And now that he has Kaiodai behind him, he seems unstoppable. He hasn't lost a match in 8 months.
(Tajiri stops them from eliminating Kennedy. Dodging moves from both, he delivers his signature martial arts style kicks to both. Dodging a clothesline, Tajiri hit a springboard backfist to Crazy. As Chavo broke it up, the countdown ended. Hardy's music hit.)
JR: And here comes matt Hardy, number 6.
(Hardy slides in and starts kicking Tajiri off of his victims. Kennedy tries to pull him off onto to receive a side effect for his trouble. Without thinking, Matt goes for a pin.)
Tenay: Small as it may seem, that kind of mistake can cost a competitor a match.
(Benjamin slides in and begins to club Matt. Tossing him into the ropes, he's floored when Matt ducks a clothesline and delivers a springing crossbody. )
Jr: And, it's almost time for another body in this meat grinder.
(AS he speaks Christian theme hits. He runs to the ring, taking out the various "bad" competitors first. Once the bad guys are down, he tries an "I'm Prettier" on crazy, which he struggles out of.)
JR: We really haven't seen much cooperation in this match.
Tenay: There can be only one, JR. Remember that.
JR: I do, but temporary alliances win matches like this.
(After thirty seconds of brutal fighting, JTG makes his way to the ring. He hits a spinning elbow on both Christian and Benjamin before doing a dive over neckbreaker on Chavo. He and Kennedy start to brawl in the corner. Seeing an opportunity, Hardy picks up Chavo and signals for the twist of fate.)
Tenay: It looks like we're about to see our first elimination.
(Before he can hit it, Tajiri kicks him square in the jaw, sending him stumbling backwards over the top rope to the floor below.)
JR: We did, but not the one we expected. Tajiri draws first blood in the match.
(JTG tries to capitalize on Chavo's weakened state. He picks him up for a move, but Chavo slides behind him. As he turns, Chavo kicks him in the gut and hits a Gory bomb.)
Tenay: JTG took too much for granted on that and has paid the ultimate price.
JR: Does Chavo have enough left to capitalize on it though?
(Slowly, Chavo gets to his feet, dragging JTG to the ropes. Just when it seems like it's too much for him, Crazy runs over and helps him unceremoniously dump JTG to the outside.)
Tenay: There's the teamwork you wanted to see.
JR: I'm sure it's the last thing Cryme Tyme wanted. He just got straightarmed.
(Chris Sabin's music hits. He runs to the ring and begins clotheslining down every competitor hToo Cooe sees.)
Tenay: This is Shark Boy's ally. The man watching his back. He entered himself in this competition simply to make sure Shark Boy could not get overwhelmed and lose the belt due to the odds against him.
JR: In Sabin's words, it is his job to clean house and eliminate the competition before Shark Boy ever comes out.
(Dodging a crossbody from Christian, he dropkicks him. Following this up, he back body drops Chavo right onto Christian. When Kennedy tries to take him out, he catches him in a suplex, right on top of the other two men.)
JR: True to his word, Sabin is cleaning house.
(Benjamin misses a clothesline, only to get a drop kick to the knee. Sabin grabs him, for a DDT on his growing pile. Tajiri stops his momentum with a nasty kick to the gut. As he goes to toss him from the ring, however, Sabin reverses it and sends Tajiri over instead. He catches himself, but turns into a dropkick, sending him to the floor.)
JR: The Rising Sun has just set, courtesy of Chris Sabin.
Tenay: While the other competitors may not like it, Sabin has just taken out a massive threat to Shark Boy's title, and has given him a huge advantage in this match.
(Benjamin starts to pound away on Sabin from behind. When 2 Cool's music hits, and Scotty starts dancing to the ring, he gets distracted. Kennedy grabs him in his signature hold and slams him to the mat.)
Tenay: What the hell? Kennedy just hit the mic check on Benjamin.
JR: I thought these two were allies.
(Quickly lifting him onto his shoulders, Kennedy hits the diving senton, and then uses his momentum to toss Shelton right out of the ring. Even dazed by the two finishers, Shelton stares at him in disbelief from the floor. Kennedy dusts off his hands in exaggerated pleasure.)
JR: Well, this shows there is no honor among thieves.
Tenay: There are also no teams. Kennedy saw his moment and he took it. The two most dangerous competitors have now been eliminated. He saw his moment and he took it.
(Kennedy turns into a barrage of punches from Sabin. He staggers back into the three amigos from Chavo. As Scotty slides into the ring, all of the other competitors signal that it's his turn.)
JR: Well, maybe he should've waited a few more minutes. His betrayal looks like it's about to bite him in the you know what.
(As the fans cheer, Scotty throws his arms wide. Dancing he hops around the ring before doing the Worm and delivering his signature chop to Kennedy's throat. Recoiling from the impact, Kennedy rolls out of the ring.)
JR: Just desserts if you ask me. Live by the backstabbing, die by the backstabbing.
Tenay: BUT, JR, lest the fans at home forget, you can only be eliminated by getting tossed over the TOP rope. Sliding out under the bottom, Kennedy is still in this match.
(Before he can rest, Shelton, recovered, runs up and gives him a quick Dragon Whip, followed by a signature T-Bone suplex on the outside. Refs force Benjamin to the back as Kennedy writhes in pain.)
JR: I cannot think of a single individual on the roster who deserved that more than Ken Kennedy.
Tenay: You questioned whether it was the right moment for Kennedy to eliminate his only ally. It would appear that the answer is "no".
(As the stars go back to brawling, MNM's music hits, and Joey Mercury makes his way down.)
JR: And Joey Mercury is the last competitor. The men now have three minutes to eliminate each other before Shark Boy is set loose and the match becomes about pinfall or submission.
Tenay: Once Shark Boy comes down, it is every man for himself. The fewer men remaining, the better your chances of winning.
(With renewed vigor, the remaining men go all out, hammering on each other, trying to weaken their competitors. Kennedy is still on the outside as Crazy and Chavo double team Scotty. Sabin and Christian square off in the other corner. Crazy goes to the top as Chavo scoop slams Scotty to the floor.)
JR: This is the high risk District.
(Kennedy jumps to the apron, and tries to push Crazy off, but instead gets a kick to the face, sending him back to the floor.)
Tenay: That risk could've cost Super Crazy his shot.
JR: HE has earned his name Mike Tenay. Everything is about risk with this man.
(Crazy moonsaults off the top rope, not only landing on Scotty, but taking out Chavo as well.)
Tenay: He missed his mark! He hit Chavo more than Scotty.
JR: Are you sure? I'm not sure he didn't take an opportunity to eliminate one of his strongest competitors.
(Sure enough, Crazy picks up Chavo and tosses him over the rope before he can recover. Christian runs up behind him and hits the Unprettier as he is distracted. Lifting his limps carcass, Christian eliminates Crazy from the match as well.)
Tenay: Crazy saw his opportunity to eliminate Chavo, but in doing so left his back unguarded.
JR: Well, we got our answer as to whether it was an accident.
Tenay: We did at that. And now, this match has four challengers to the X Division title.
JR: Only a minute remains until the champion comes out.
(With Scotty down, Christian and Sabin start to trade rights. It seems Christian has the better of the battle until Kennedy slides in behind him and clubs both men down. He sets Christian up for the mic check, but Sabin drop kicks him out of it. )
JR: There may be no allies in this match. But it seems like Kennedy has painted a target on himself. Sabin's even willing to stop him from weakening Christian.
(Sabin and Christian toss Kennedy into the corner, lifting him onto the top, both men prepare a superplex. Before they can hit it, Scotty runs over, and gets both men in a reverse suplex. Mercury adds himself to the mix, getting Scotty for a powerbomb, and all the men fly off in a tower of doom.)
Tenay: The fans hit it again. The Holy S chants barely do that justice.
JR: And they couldn't have chosen a worse time to take themselves out, because here comes Shark Boy.
(As tha announcer states the change of rules, Shark Boy dives into the ring. He takes out Mercury, then Scotty. Going back, he dropkicks Mercury. He then crossbodies Christian. As Kennedy gets to his feet, he pummels him into the corner, punching him until he drops, and then delivering boots.)
JR: And Shark Boy comes in like a typhoon, taking out everyone.
Tenay: HE is the fresh man in this competition. Everyone else has been fighting and taking punishment. He has a tremendous advantage.
(Mercury tries to pull him off, only to get a Stunner for his troubles. Shark Boy goes for the cover, but Christian breaks it up before the ref can even get a one count. He tries to pick Shark Boy up, but gets a stunner himself.)
JR: Everyone is already worn down, except for Shark Boy. Even the numbers advantage may not mean anything.
(Scotty pulls Shark Boy up and gets a couple good hits in before Sabin spins him around and hits the Cradle Shock.)
Tenay: Not only is he the fresh man, but he has Sabin watching his back.
(The two men lift Scotty into a double suplex, but, before they can go any further, Mercury leaps off the top rope with a cross body taking Shark Boy out of the ring. He lifts Sabin halfway into a suplex, then drops him into a DDT, a one man version of the Snapshot. As he stands for the cover, Christian quickly hits the I'm Prettier and goes for a pin. The ref can't get even a one count before Scotty hits the end of the worm, forgoing all the pagentry.)
JR: And this has completely broken down. Every man is desperate to get the pin while no one else is looking.
Tenay: With this many men in the match, a quick, decisive blow is the only way you're pulling out the W.
(After the remaining men brawl for several minutes, Kennedy climbs to the top and launches himself off with a Senton, taking both men down. He quickly lifts first Christian, and then Scotty up to hit a mic Check to each.)
JR: Well, someone was listening to you, Tenay. Kennedy executed that perfectly.
(Before he can go for a pin, Shark Boy spins him around for a snap stunner. Flipping with the move, Kennedy bounces out of the ring. )
Tenay: And, yet, it wasn't enough to secure the win. The predator of the deep was on him before he could capitalize.
(As Shark Boy starts to taunt his victim, Sabin slides in behind him. Seeing an opportunity, he rolls up Shark Boy from behind, grabbing the tights, as the ref counts three.)
JR: What the hell? Chris Sabin, shark boy's best friend, has just stolen the title from him.
Tenay: He was a legal competitor, JR. He had every right to get a pin.
(Both men look shocked as the ref gives Sabin the belt. As Shark Boy charges him, he quickly slides out of the ring and heads up the ramp, all while Shark Boy surses at him from inside the squared circle.)
JR: It's the principle of the matter. He was supposed to be out here to help Shark Boy and he screwed him instead.
Tenay: Nevertheless, we have a new X Division Champion, and I can't wait to see how this plays out.
(The camera cuts away to a video package. We see Alpha Male in front of the camera.)
Brown: This ain't a school yard. It ain't a play ground. This...is the Serengeti.
(We see Brown ambushing R-Truth. He hits the Pounce in the middle of the ring.)
Brown: There is no play. There is no fun. There is only survival of the fittest.
(The Alpha Male pounces R-Truth backstage through a scenery piece. Grabbing a chair, he clubs him.)
Brown: Eat or be eaten. Prey and predator.
(R-Truth is dancing with Too Cool when the Alpha Male suplexes him over the top rope. Taking out both members of Too Cool, he wipes his scent o the top rope.)
Brown: R-Truth is not fit for these wilds. A herd, a pride is only as strong as it's weakest member.
(Brown ambushes Truth in his locker room, battering him withing its confines.)
Brown: That member is "The Truth." And, when the weakness is identified, it can either be culled from the group, or the group itself can die. Come Rumble, the weakest member...his time is up. And he'll be taken out by no less than the Alpha Male.
(The camera cuts to Truth.)
R-Truth: I have no idea what made Monty Brown target me. I have never disrespected him. I have never even faced him.
(We see Brown try to ambush R-Truth, but, at the last second he does the splits and then spin kicks him as he turns around. Once down, he begins pummeling the Alpha Male.)
R-Truth: I think he assumes that, because I like to dance and joke, I'm not a serious competitor. He thinks I'm going to be a pushover.
(R-Truth breaks a chair over Brown's back, interrupting an interview.)
R-Truth: I don't have to be serious to get the job done in the ring. I can goof around and still get the one, two, three. But Brown, he wants to target me....I'll show him that I can be dead serious.
(R-Truth slides into the ring after an Alpha Male celebration to deliver a scissor kick.)
R-Truth: Come Rumble, there's no jokes. There's no games. Monty Brown, there's just you, and me. And we'll see if, when the dust settles, if we don't have a New Alpha Male.
(Alpha Male's music hits and he comes out, pausing at the end of the ramp to do his trademark sniff of the camera, before sliding into the ring and marking the ropes.)
Tenay: Last month the Alpha Male cost R-Truth a chance to be in the Royale Rumble. And it seems like it's for nothing more than his displeasure that R-Truth has a good time and enjoys entertaining the fans.
JR: Monty Brown has stated that this is serious business. It's not about goofing around or playing games. He has made it clear that he couldn't care less about the fans. This is about him and the pride.
Tenay: And it wasn't enough to cost R-Truth the Rumble shot, as he felt R-Truth shouldn't even be in a contendership match, but he just kept attacking him. He seems dedicated to ending R-Truth's career.
(R-Truth's music plays. He's not wearing his normal gear, instead wearing ring trunks and MMA gloves. There's no dancing; instead he marches down with purpose, sliding straight into the ring.)
JR: For a month, Brown has said that Truth isn't serious enough. He doesn't focus enough. He's not a real competitor, or even a real man.
Tenay: And it seems like R-Truth is prepared to make him see different. This is not the Truth we are used to seeing.
(Before the bell can even ring he takes Monty Brown down, landing haymakers, switching back and forth between punches, forarms and elbows.)
JR: Alpha Male got exactly what he wanted tonight. R-Truth came to fight.
Tenay: I'd be lying if I said I didn't agree with Brown. I didn't think he had it in him, but I was wrong. And Brown is reeling. He was caught seriously off guard, and he's struggling just to keep from getting knocked out.
(Brown keeps blocking the blows, but finally catches an arm, and uses his superior size to roll Truth off him. Even beneath him, Truth keeps throwing hands, forcing Brown to get off him. As Truth tries to follow, Brown knees him in the gut and tosses him into the corner before landing blows of his own.)
Tenay: And the Alpha Male asserts his dominance. He is on top once again.
JR: But those early moments have taken their toll. He's not as fast or taking as much control as he normally does. He was rocked, and it still shows.
(He prepares for a charge, but Truth gets both feet up,kicking him in the face. As he staggers back, Truth hits a spinning leg lariat, dropping him. Using the momentum, R-Truth bounces off the ropes and hits the Scissor Kick. He goes for the pin.)
JR: So much for that dominance. R-Truth landed his most devastating move in record time.
Tenay: And Alpha Male is about three seconds away from learning to regret treating R-Truth like a joke.
(Kicking out at two, Brown looks stunned. Without missing a beat, Truth jumps back on top of the Alpha Male and goes back to pummeling him.)
JR: He kicked out, but barely. But R-Truth isn't giving him any breathing room. He is determined to beat respect into Alpha Male.
Tenay: Alpha Male asked for a different, a more vicious R-Truth. He may not like what he's seeing.
(Picking him up, R-Truth whips him into the ropes and follows with a spinning forearm that knocks Brown over the top rope. Building up speed, he launches between the ropes with a suicide dive that drives Brown into the announcer's table.)
JR: The Alpha Male has never been put back on his heels like this. R-Truth can feel it. He might be the one to end the almost two year long winning streak.
(Climbing back to the apron, Truth runs and dives at Brown, but this time Brown catches him and runs him back first into the ring post. Both men drop, and Brown retreats back to the ring.)
Tenay: But this is why Monty Brown is the Alpha Male. He pulls a rabbit out of his hat and turns the match around in the blink of an eye. You may rock him, you may temporarily get ahead, but the Alpha Male always ends up on top.
(Truth barely makes it in before the ten count, but Brown is ready now. He rains down knees on his head, then mounts his back and unleashes a flurry of blows on the back of his head. Twice the ref makes him break it at a 4 count, only the have Brown try to choke him out.)
Tenay: This viciousness, this mean streak has made the Alpha Male the King of his Serengeti, as he always says. He is one of the most feared stars in the back. No one wishes to cross him.
JR: Well, hell, you don't even have to try to cross him as Truth found out.
Tenay: He keeps saying it. In the law of the jungle, you're a predator or you're prey. And, unfortunately for Truth, he has determined he is prey.
(Truth manages to get to the ropes and the ref breaks the hold. But, tasting blood, now Brown stays on the attack, lifting him with a swift gut wrench suplex, landing Truth on his face. While Truth holds his front in pain, Brown delivers a diving clothesline to the back of his neck.)
JR: I think Truth would dispute that characterization very much. I'm sure he'd say that he's the hungrier younger lion, challenging for the pride.
(Dragging him up, Brown delivers a vicious turnbuckle bomb, and grabs him on the rebound for a snap belly to belly suplex.)
Tenay: The Gazelle may not feel like it's dinner, but that really doesn't matter to the lion.
JR: Do you really think he looks like a Gazelle?
Tenay: No. Right now, he looks like roadkill.
(Brown stalks him and lines him up for a full nelson, but Truth wiggles out and rolls him up. He kicks out at one and roars in anger, swinging with a wild clothesline, which Truth dodges with the splits. Jumping up, he delivers a high kick to the side of the head and spins away. Staggering back, he's met with another spinning forearm.)
JR: Not bad for roadkill.
Tenay: Pure desparation, JR.
JR: Tonight may be the night that the prey defeats the Predator.
(Truth doesn't let him get up, kicking him in the gut and signalling for the scissor kick.)
JR: Could it be? Has Truth become King of the Serengeti?
(At the last moment, Brown moves, and rebounds with a sickening pounce, sending Truth careening into the turnbuckle. He crumples and Brown goes for the cover.)
Tenay: Not tonight, JE. Monty Brown has turned away another upstart cub.
(Once the ref counts one, Brown pulls him up, shaking his head. He drags Truth to his feet.)
JR: Oh, come on. You had the match won, "Alpha Male". This is unnecessary.
Tenay: He told us what he wanted JR. This was not about beating R-Truth. This was not about a victory. He wants to hurt R-Truth. He wants to send a message to everyone by picking him apart until he's bones.
JR: I hope it bites him in his pompous ass.
(Tossing him into the ropes, Brown hits another Pounce. He picks him up for a third one. Then he mounts him and pummels him without cease.)
JR: That's enough Monty. You've made your point.
Tenay: He wants to make sure Truth understands.
JR: What else is he going to learn? I think he's out.
(The ref starts yelling at Truth that he needs to fight back or it's over. He tries to check on him, but Brown pushes him away. Rolling him over, Brown locks him in a modified Steiner recliner, but pulling his head back and locking it in his armpit.)
Tenay: That is vicious. We've never seen Brown do anything like that.
JR: He's going to cripple him.
Tenay: I think that's what he's going for.
(The ref finally calls for the bell, announcing that R-Truth is unable to intelligently defend himself. Brown refuses to let go and two more officials have to come down to pry him off. As medical staff checks on Truth, Brown walks up the ramp, arms raised in victory. He yells at the crowd to shut up as they boo him.)
JR: You can't take anything away from R-Truth.
Tenay: Except for perhaps his ability to walk, or wrestle.
Alpha Male: I own this Serengeti. This is my hunting ground. Remember that. Mine.
Tenay: Next up, we have our unification match.
JR: And this may not be any easier to watch than our last one.
(The video package starts with Rhyno raising the United States Title in victory. As he celebrates, Orton spins him around and delivers an RKO. While he's down, Orton delivers a punt.)
JR: He didn't even get to celebrate before the Jackals attack.
Tenay: They promised that the would keep the title off of him by any means. I guess they meant it.
(It cuts to backstage, where Rhyno is about to give an interview when Kennedy and Batista attack him. As they beat him down, Orton talks to the interviewer.)
Orton: We told the world that this belt would never be around Rhyno's waist. That he didn't deserve our title. Mercury couldn't keep up his end of the bargain, so we stepped in. MNM let him have the belt, but we'll be damned if he keeps it. He will have no defenses, no matches, no appearances. We will make his championship mean nothing.
(Rhyno is walking to the ring when Orton blindsides him with a chair. Kennedy joins in and uses a chain to whip him. Batista gives him a Batista Bomb on the ramp.)
Orton: Stay down, Rhyno. You have no place here.
(They continue to beat him. The camera cuts to Orton smiling about to talk to the interview when Rhyno runs on from off screen and Gores him through the backdrop. He pounds Orton until Batista runs on. Lifting him off Orton, he spinebusters Rhyno on the concrete and helps Orton escape.)
Orton: Obviously, we're not getting through to Rhyno. He's just not getting it. So, we're going to have to hammer it home.
(We see the Youngbloods surrounding a home as Orton kicks the door in. Rhyno and his wife are sitting on the couch. Jamie Noble holds the wife back as the rest of the Youngbloods hammer away on Rhyno. Orton addresses the camera as the rest leave Rhyno bloody.)
Orton: You see this, Foley? Rhyno is done. Come Rumble, his belt is mine. Make the match happen, or we get more of this.
(HE hits the RKO, and the rest pitch Rhyno down his basement steps headfirst. The camera fades as we see Rhyno broken at the bottom of the steps. )
(We cut back to the ring, where Orton is smiling broadly, holding a mic.)
Orton: Good times. Good times. That brings back memories.
JR: And no one has seen Rhyno since. He hasn't shown, no one has talked to him. Nothing.
Orton: All right, Foley. Tonight is the night. I want you to come out here and hand me my Intercontinental Title. (After several seconds, he shrugs.) All right, then, we'll do this the other way. Referee, count to ten, and hand me my damn title.
JR: He's so proud of himself. Becoming champion by default after injuring his opponent.
Tenay: As you know, JR, a win is a win. He'll be remembered as the unifier of two titles.
Jr: With an asterick beside it.
Tenay: I don't think they put side notes when you're the only holder of a record.
JR: Not that Orton would care. He's not that kind of champion.
(The ref slowly counts to 9 until the lights go down. "GORE" blares.)
Tenay: No way. After everything, it can't be.
JR: YES! This is exactly what everyone wanted to see.
(His music and lighting effects hit, as the bulky shadowed form appears on the stage. One arm throws high as the other stays close to his chest, and his pyros go off. As the lights come up, he rushes the ring.)
Tenay: Randy Orton looks as shocked as everyone in the ring. He thought he crippled Rhyno. He thought he ended his career.
JR: His eyes are as wide as the Grand Canyon. His mouth is down to his knees.
(He recovers as Rhyno tries to get in between the ropes. He kicks the ropes, crotching Rhyno before the bell rings. Grabbing his head, he pulls him in, with his feet on the middle rope. He tries to DDT him, but Rhyno fights him, slamming into his torso. After several sledgehammer blows, Orton drops him and falls away holding his gut.)
Tenay: No...no one has ever...EVER stopped Orton from hitting that killer DDT.
JR: Orton can attack him all day long, he can sneak attack, he can two on one, three on one, but he cannot, CANNOT break Rhyno's spirit. He is in for a fight tonight.
(As Rhyno gets into the ring, Orton rushes him, only to be caught in a high belly to belly suplex. He lets Orton get to his feet, only to hit a rare drop kick, taking him out over the ropes. As the fans cheer, he plays to the crowd, raising his one good arm.)
JR: Orton came in expecting to be handed the belt, and now he has to earn it. This night just went sour for the New bloods.
(Rhyno slides out after Orton and runs him face first into the stairs. Picking him up, he drops him onto the barracade. Pummeling him, he forces him back into the ring. This time, when he tries to follow, Orton targets his injured shoulder.)
Tenay: This is the problem with facing Randy Orton. The man can smell weakness. He can hone in on weakness. If you make a mistake, he will jump on it. And he will make you pay for it.
JR: He's a damned viper.
Tenay: Right. And like a viper, you let him strike, you end up dropped.
(Orton spends several minutes just striking Rhyno, attacking his arm and his head, then locking him in a hold to weaken his gore arm. He goes back and forth between snap moves to impact the shoulder, strikes, and submissions.)
JR: Rhyno had better do something, or Orton will perminently damage that arm.
Tenay: I don't think Rhyno is as worried about that as he is beating Orton.
JR: What good is beating Orton if you can't defend it after? If it ends your career If you can never use your arm again?
Tenay: I think it's a matter of pride. He'd rather destroy Orton than anything else. He doesn't care about tomorrow, as long as he takes Randy out today.
(Orton picks up Rhyno and starts wrenching his arm around the ring rope, but Rhyno punches his way out of it. He uses his good arm to lift Orton up in a back suplex. As he fights to his feet, Rhyno manages, with one good arm, to lift him in a AA spinebuster.)
JR: Rhyno is so obsessed with victory that he doesn't care that he's hurt. He is working harder with one arm than most men work at 100%
Tenay: And, in a normal match, that might mean something. But, you can't face Orton hurt. You can't show weakness to the Viper. He might look impressive now, he might drag it out. But he's already lost. It's just a matter of when.
(The two men go back and forth. Rhyno uses his superior power to beat on Orton, but then Orton targets his weakness and gets a few move in himself. But then Rhyno powers through and regains momentum.)
JR: This has looked more like a boxing match that a wrestling one. We've seen more punches thrown than the last UFC title bout.
Tenay: You don't have to execute suplexes and submissions to hurt your opponent, JR. This shows that simple fist on face violence can work just as much as the best technical match.
(Rhyno ducks a clothesline to get a massive powerbomb in. As he goes for a pin, Jamie Noble jumps over the ringside barricade and jumps to the apron. The ref never even notices, as he focuses on Noble.)
JR: Of course, Orton has never faced Rhyno one on one. Why would he start tonight?
Tenay: Like it or not, this is why the New Bloods are effective.
(Rhyno runs over and clubs Noble off the ring apron. But, as he is distracted, Orton hits his over the ack neck breaker.)
JR: He's not a viper...he's a damned hyena. If it wasn't for the dozen other hyenas who run with him, he'd never win a match.
(Orton goes for a pin, but Rhyno kicks out at two. Orton mounts him and starts raining down punches. When the ref pulls him off, he starts dropping knees on Rhyno's head.)
Tenay: Orton's the kind of man, he doesn't care how the match goes, as long as he gets the W.
JR: That kind of man is called a scumbag.
Tenay: The question isn't whether you approve, JR, but whether he succeeds.
(As Orton tries to pull Rhyno up, he fights back yet again. Plowing Orton over, he hits a belly to belly. He prepares for a Gore, but Noble gets on the apron again.)
JR: Rhyno will never be able to get ahead so long as the rest of the New Bloods are at ringside.
(As the ref focuses on Noble, Rhyno gores him off the apron. While everyone is distracted, Kennedy runs down and slides the Intercontinental Title to Orton. He uses it to clobber Rhyno as he turns around, and then tosses it out before the ref turns. The count starts.)
JR: Not this way.
(Rhyno kicks out a fraction of an inch before three. Orton throws a tantrum that the count is not there.)
JR: At least he didn't get the unification that way.
Tenay: YET, JR. Yet. This is just a matter of time the way this is going.
(Orton sets up for the RKO. As he jumps for it, Rhyno catches him and holds him for a second, before dropping him in a nasty suplex.)
JR: He didn't just stop the RKO, he held him mid air and reversed it. We're getting lots of firsts tonight, and none of them are in Orton's favor.
(Seeing Orton in bad shape, Kennedy jumps to the apron. As Rhyno grapples with him, Noble slides in the United States title. Orton grabs it and prepares to get Rhyno.)
Tenay: First time almost ended it. This one will likely be the death blow.
(Almost like he sees it coming, Rhyno dodges Orton's swing at the last moment, letting him take out Kennedy with his belt. )
JR: YES! The SOB got what he deserved.
(Orton stands in shock for a second before turning around into a GORE GORE GORE. Rhyno goes for the pin.)
JR: ONE. TWO. THREE.
Tenay: I can't believe it. Rhyno overcame all the odds, all the injuries, and ended Orton's dreams of being the only title holder.
JR: Tonight, Rhyno has destroyed the last obsticle in his way to being a true champion. He is both the Us and Intercontinental Champion.
Tenay: Three months of machinations have come to nothing. Rhyno is now the unified champion, despite all the efforts of MNM and the New Bloods.
JR: But now, ladies and gentlemen, we have come to the first of our triple main events. Shawn Michaels vs Scott Steiner.
(The video package begins with quick flashes of the Three on Three at Armageddon: The Elite-Shawn Michaels, Stone Cold and Triple H vs the nWo- Steiner, Hall and Nash. After Nash Jackknifes Michaels, Steiner comes in and locks on the Steiner Recliner, choking Michaels out. The ref drops his hand three times and calls for the bell.)
JR: And the Scotts have done it, they have retained both World Titles against the Elite.
Tenay: And they did it in decisive form. HBK is unlikely to forget that ending anytime soon.
JR: Considering he wasn't quite here for it the first time, he'll have to be reminded before he can remember.
(The nWo stand victorious over Michael's prone form. The camera jumps to a close up of Steiner in his Big Poppa Pump outfit, bouncing side to side in slow mode, with a voiceover.)
Steiner: People keep asking, am I excited we won? Does it fill me with pride that we pulled it out? Of course not. The two greatest wrestlers in the world, the two world champions of the two biggest promotions in history and the greatest big man in wrestling beat two perpetual children and a drunk. There was never any question how it would end.
(Michaels comes to Steiner backstage, offering his hand.)
HBK: I wanted to congratulate you on Armageddon.
(Steiner looks at the hand in disgust, and walks away with a sneer. We cut to the ring where Steiner is being interviewed.)
Leticia Cline: Congratulations on a hard fought victory...
Steiner: Stop right there, sweet tits. There was no hard fought anything. The best in the world beat some second string players. It's like congratulating the Superbowl Champions for beating a high school JV team.
Cline: That...I mean...wow. You know, with all the hype over the Elite vs nWo feud, and the excitement over that last match, everyone's wanting to know if you plan to face him one on one...
Steiner: Why the hell would I do that?
Cline: Well, the fans are asking for it.
Steiner: Screw them. What the hell do those idiots know? There are real men, real challengers waiting for their first chance, who deserve a shot, not another loser going for his third strike.
Cline: Well, the fans really want to see HBK...
Steiner: People love clowns, too. I'm not looking for Bozo for a match. I'm done with Shawn Michaels. He's not a real competitor. Hell, he's not even a real man. It's time to move on to real men with real chances, who don't wear assless chaps like a whore. He didn't deserve his first shot, yet alone another.
(We cut backstage, where Steiner is about to give another interview when a hand grab his shoulder. As he spins, he gets a superkick. HBK jumps on him as he drops, pounding away.)
HBK: How about now, Scott? Am I a real man now, Scott? Am I a real competitor now, Scott? How about you get an ass beating from a pair of assless chaps?
(When Legends Rise starts to play. We see the flashes of the two exchanging a series of one ups. Scott Steiner Belly to bellies HBK from the apron to the floor. HBK blocks a Frankensteiner, tossing Steiner to the ground to hit a leap of faith. Steiner catches a superkick, to toss HBK in a trapped leg overhead suplex.)
Steiner: He wants me to view him as a real man. But he keeps attacking me like a bitch. Hit me from behind. Jump me like a coward. I smash him to his face. I let him see it coming. He sneaks like a girl. He's not a man, he's a bitch.
(Michaels superkicks Steiner as he walks out of his room. Steiner yells at Michaels in an interview before hitting him with a chair. The Elite pound on Steiner, before Triple H pedigrees him on a car hood, and HBK hits the leap of faith from the top of a car. Steiner Frankensteiners HBK off the stage.)
HBK: We can debate who's done what all day long. But all that matters is that, come Royale Rumble, all your credentials mean nothing. I will shatter your delusions that you're better than me, when my sweet chin music shatters your jaw. We'll see who the real legend is, and that legend will be the Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels. I walk out of Madison Square Gardens the better man and the WCW champion.
Steiner: Michaels walks into Rumble as a never was, he leaves as a never will be. He walks in as the Heartbreak Kid; he leaves as the kid with the broken back.
JR: The one on one match everyone has dreamed of, that has never happened. Shawn Michaels vs Scott Steiner. And the stakes couldn't be any higher.
Tenay: These two men hate each other. The stakes couldn't be any higher.
(The camera cuts to the two men in the ring, Steiner holding the belt high. It slows down, going to black and white, as the two men get in each other's faces, yelling.)
Steiner: (voiceover) This match is about style vs substance. Flair vs finesse. Skill v showsmanship.
HBK: (voiceover) We have a one dimensional catoon character, a man who hasn't been relevant for decades against the ultimate showstopper. We have a man who was amazing at one thing when wrestling was a different game, a small fish in a big pond, against the best all arounder to ever step in the ring.
Steiner: No doubt, Shawn Michaels may be the very best to step in the ring....as an entertainer. But this isn't showtunes; it's not a chorus line. This is wrestling. Michaels is an amazing entertainer, but he's stepping into the ring with the greatest athlete to every exist in the squared circle.
HBK: Steiner underestimates me, and thinks that his one skill is all that matters. At Rumble, I;ll show him different, and he'll never underestimate me again.
(We cut back to the ring.)
JR: We haven't had a rivalry this intense, between the Scotts and the Elite DX crew in a long, LONG time. These two teams want to kill each other.
Tenay: We have heard Scott Steiner break it down. He has shown how he is the total package, not Michaels.
JR: Simply by belittling Michaels.
Tenay: That may be JR. But let's remind the fans. As he notes, he was a huge name in NCAA, a multiple time champion when Shawn Michaels was still a kid. He was part of the greatest tag team in WWF at the time while Michaels was considering lacing up his boots.
JR: But as Michaels pointed out, he was the first WWF Grand Slam Champion. That is a feat Steiner never accomplished.
Tenay: But Steiner had a response for that too. He said that Michaels came in when all the real talent had gone to WCW. He was left with the losers who weren't good enough to get picked up by Ted Turner. While Steiner was wrestling the best in the world in WCW, HBK was struggling to get to the top in a heap of nobodies.
JR: Kinda harsh to call Kevin Nash, Bret Hart, the Rock and Stone Cold nobodies.
Tenay: But the first two went to WCW, and by the time the rest of the crew came to be, and WWF took back over, Michaels was no longer the man. Steiner keeps calling him the king of the minor leagues. He has accomplished nothing in any way that means anything.
JR: Michaels keeps trying to portray this as a clash of ages. Steiner is the king of yesterday and he is the king of the present.
Tenay: And Steiner reminds him that he has been the man in every era that he has ever wrestled in. He was better settling up the business than HBK ever was. When HBK was making a name, he was the World Champ. When HBK was gone, he was a big name. And while HBK points to being a Grand Slam Champ in an era with no competition, he has been a grand slam champ HERE, with the best competition who has ever been assembled. You have the Never was, never will be vs the Always IS.
(HBK's music hits and he comes dancing to the ramp, executing his normal intro.)
JR: While I cannot agree to Steiner's dismissal of Shawn Michael's accomplishments, there is no doubt that Steiner has been a dominant champion. He has held the belt for 5 months, and has successfully defended it 39 times, almost all of them by submission.
Tenay: Will the Heartbreak Kid be the unlucky 40th?
JR: Probably the best moment of this feud was at their contract signing, where Steiner told Michaels that the only way he would become champion is by prying the title out of his cold dead hands. Michaels simply said "challenge accepted".
Tenay: That may be a tall order, as Steiner is the only champion we have ever had who has cleanly defended his title everytime. He has dominated every man to step in the ring with him. He is the only champion in history, in any federation, to defend his title more than twice in a night, with four successful championship defenses, a record that will never be matched.
(AS Michaels plays to the crowd in the ring, sirens blare through the arena. "Holla if ya hear meeee" comes over the speakers, before fading into the nWo's familiar music. HE comes to the stage in the familiar black and white filter.)
JR: And Scott Steiner comes out for war. Look at that Tenay!
Tenay: Sure enough, JR. His familiar chainmail headdress now has a face plate and solid top. He has gauntlets and a chain mail chest plate. He looks like a combination of a knight and a mad max lunatic.
JR: And the mind games begin. Poppa Pump is no stranger to beating his opponent before he ever steps in the ring.
Tenay: He said tonight that he was going to bring it to Michaels like he'd never felt it before.
(Steiner steps in, glaring daggers at HBK and begins removing his armor. Once the announcer finishes the introductions, Steiner steps forward at the bell and offers his hand.)
Tenay: That's about the last thing anyone would've expected Steiner to do.
JR: Especially HBK, who looks unsure what to do.
(After a moment's hesitation, HBK reaches for it, only to have Steiner slap him across the face with it.)
Steiner: Get real, punk.
JR: There's the Scott Steiner we all know and loathe.
(HBK seethes for a second as Steiner flips off the booing crowd. Spinning, he delivers a series of knife edges chops to Steiner's chest. Each one rocks him a little.)
JR: And, after months of disrespect, Michaels has had enough. He is taking out all of that anger, all of the frustration on Scott Steiner.
(After several chops land, Steiner slams his knee into HBK's gut, doubling him over and cutting off the offense. He does a standing clothesline from hell, that turns HBK inside out, flipping him in midair.)
Tenay: And, as he has the whole time, Steiner has an answer. The ability to absord punishment and respond in kind is partly what makes the Big Bad Booty Daddy so dangerous.
(Steiner flexes over Michaels, before he drops his elbow into his chest for a cover. Letting the ref get to two, he pulls off of Michaels and starts doing pushups.)
JR: That's vintage Scott Steiner, but it may not be the best move in a match like this.
Tenay: You heard him at the contract signing. I'm going to dismantle you. I'm going to destroy you. I'm going to eviscerate you. And then I'm going to find a dictionary to find more things to do to you.
JR: It was an odd threat. And I think he meant Thesaurus.
(Steiner mounts HBK and starts punching him. The ref doesn't even warn him, he just starts quickly counting to five. Steiner throws up his hands at four and stands up.)
Tenay: It seems like an odd choice when HBK chose to make the stipulation that Steiner could lose the belt by DQ or count out, as Steiner has never won by those means. But it starts to make sense now. Hyper enforce the rules, and you make Scott Steiner stop his non-stop viciousness.
JR: And that's not all. Not only did he just earn himself a reprieve, if he manages to repeat his countout victory from two weeks ago, he will win the title.
(Steiner pulls HBK to his feet. While HBK tries to stop hit with a couple punches to the gut, Steiner clubs the back of his head, picks him up the rest of the way and belly to bellys him. He lands so hard that he bounces to his feet just in time to get clotheslined over the top rope.)
Tenay: Well, he gets a reprieve here, too. But, if that's his strategy, he's going to reprieve himself right into a loss.
(While Michaels clears the cobwebs, Steiner mocks him with a bad version of his hip shimmy, before slapping his ass and telling HBK to get back into the ring. When the fans boo, they get another round of birds.)
JR: Just because it's business time, that doesn't stop Steiner from belittling Michaels.
Tenay: He doesn't believe Michaels is a real wrestler. And he won't treat him like one.
(Michaels gets to the apron, and Steiner goes after him again. Blocking a suplex attempt, Michaels lands a couple of blows before getting a thumb in the eye.)
JR: If Steiner wants to disrespect him, Michaels can return the favor.
(As he stumbles away holding his eye, HBK jumps to the rops and springboards in. But Steiner catches him in a bear hug and starts squeezing the life out of him.)
Tenay: This is exactly what Steiner has said. Springboards are showy; they excite the fans. But they're bad wrestling. They leave the man exposed and vulnerable. And a true athlete like Steiner will take advantage of that error every time.
JR: Moves like that have given HBK more victories than I can count.
Tenay: But those were against other entertainers. Steiner has given Michaels that he's the best entertainer to ever step in the ring. But now he's in a new game.
(Howling in pain, HBK rears back and claps his arms against his ears. Again and again, until Steiner drops him. HBK runs forward and starts kicking the hell out of Steiner's legs.)
JR: And, to a degree, I think HBK is getting that. He's working on the legs of Steiner. Entertainer or not, that's good strategy.
Tenay: True, you weaken the legs and you take away Steiner's ability to do his devastating suplexes.
(Steiner pushes him away, and goes for a grab but Michaels ducks and gets behind him. He grabs an arm and tries to wrench it behind him, but Steiner fights. Slamming his hips back into HBK's cut, he creates a little distance. But realizing this would be bad, HBK goes back in for a headlock. It works for a few seconds, but Steiner quickly grabs his waist and lifts for a side suplex.)
JR: Well, that's going the wrong way.
Tenay: You don't try to out wrestle Scott Steiner, to try and out power him. Especially when you're a much smaller man, like Shawn Michaels.
(Steiner goes for another pump elbow drop, but Michael rolls away. Steiner nods and claps as Michaels gets up.)
JR: That's probably as close to respect as one can expect from Steiner, even if its mocking.
(Steiner lifts one hand in a challenge to lockup. As HBK grabs it, he raises the other.)
Tenay: This is a terrible idea.
(After they lock up, Steiner pulls back and launches HBK halfway across the ring. Getting to his feet, HBK nods and comes forward. Steiner offers his hand again, and HBK goes for it.)
Tenay: What was that about learning, JR? This is pure idiocy. He's going to do it again?
(AS both men focus on the second hand, HBK drop kicks his knee, dropping Steiner. Without hesitation, he delivers a pendulum DDT, using all his weight to snap Steiner's head into the mat.)
JR: Well, that one worked.
(After a two count, Steiner powers out tossing HBK halfway across the ring. HBK rushes back, unleashing a flurry of punhces and kicks, but Steiner pushes him away. This repeats several times, until Steiner gets to his feet and catches him in a wicked suplex over the top rope.)
Tenay: And the superior power of Scott Steiner shows itself again.
(However, HBK catches himself on the ropes and lands on the apron. He springboards in and delivers a flying bullsdog. After Steiner kicks out again, the two men go back and forth trying to hit moves but being countered. A suplex leads to a flip landing on his feet. A crossbody dodged. A clothesline ducked.)
JR: And both men are firing on all cylinders.
Tenay: Now, both men are working on their strengths, trying to find their opponents weakness.
JR: Michaels is using his speed to try and avoid Steiners throws. Steiner is trying to keep Michaels grounded.
(Finally, in desperation, HBK jumps on Steiner's back and tries to choke him out. He succeeds in getting him to his knees.)
JR: Is he....can he possibly choke Steiner out?
(For several seconds, it looks like it might succeed, then Steiner powers to his feet, and run Steiner back into the corner, using the turnbuckles to break the hold.)
Tenay: Not tonight.
(Steiner turns and pounds away on HBK. Lifting him to the top, he climbs as well. Flipping off the crowd, he goes for the Frankensteiner....but his leg buckles and he crumples to the mat.)
JR: And the weakening of the leg paid off. Steiner went high risk with no reward.
( Taking advantage, HBK hits the leap of faith.)
Tenay: This could be it.
(Steiner kicks out inches before the three. HBK falls off in disbelief and complains to the ref who confirms it was not a three.)
JR: Michaels wasn't the only one who though he had it. That looked like it was it.
(Frustrated, HBK goes to the top again, but Steiner attacks, crotching him on the ropes.Slowly, shaking his leg, he climbs to the top, going for a superplex.)
Tenay: If that wasn't it, this certainly will be.
(It takes too long however, and HBK starts fighting back. The two men trade punches.)
JR: This is dangerous. One wrong move and both men could end their careers.
Tenay: When is the last time you ever saw two men fight on the top rope, JR?
(After a haymaker, it looks like HBK's about to fall to the outside. But, at the last second, he hits a Sweet Chin Music, knocking Steiner back inside the ring.)
JR: OH MY GOD! We've never seen a top rope Sweet Chin Music before.
Tenay: But can he capitalize?
(HBK has to work to keep from falling off. Slowly, he climbs back up, and once more hits the Leap ofFaith. This time the pin leads to the three.)
JR: And Michaels becomes the new WCW champion for the first time in his life.
Tenay: As surprising this is, any MMA fighter can tell you that one good lucky punch can end a match.
JR: Lucky or not, Shawn Michaels still got the better of Scott Steiner. He weathered the storm, and came out the champion.
Tenay: A fluke win is still a win. And now, Michaels is the man to beat.
(As HBK celebrates, we fade to a video package.)
The Royale Rumble. The biggest, most unpredictible match in sports history. And, this year, it is the biggest Rumble in history. To prevail, you must outlast 39 other men, all hellbent on the same prize....main eventing Wrestlemania. The chance to become a legend
(We see flashes of Kurt Angle, Rock and Eddie Guerrero celebrating after their wins, with the announcers lauding them.)
This is the biggest opportunity in all of wrestling. To headline the greatest show of the year, and beat the greatest athlete in the business today while the entire world is watching. No greater opportunity exists in any sport. And every man to headline Wrestlemania is immortalized.
(Stone Cold pins Jericho after the Stunner. Kurt Angle pins Kane after the Olympic Slam. Booker T Scissor Kicks Goldberg. Rock taps out Mark Henry to the Sharpshooter. Eddie Guerrero pedigrees Triple H to become champion.)
Tonight, we find out who is next for immortality. Who is the next legend in the making.
(We go to the Ring, and Edge's music hits.)
JR: For some inexplicable reason, this man here won a 20 man Battle Royale to get any coveted spot in the Rumble. When he won, Foley announced that he would get the 40th spot, and Edge cut him off saying he wanted number one.
Tenay: Isn't it obvious, JR. No one has ever accomplished what Edge seeks out here tonight. He is arguably one of the greatest of all time. Now, he wants to cement himself as the very best, bar none.
JR: It would be a unique record, but hardly the best...
Tenay: No, JR. While Edge would be the first to accomplish a number one spot here, that's not enough. There have been more than 100 Royale Rumble style matches with more than 30 people world wide. No one has ever won above position 20 anywhere in the world.
JR: This is why you're the Professor, Mike Tenay. I don't think anyone else in the world knows that.
(The APA's music hits and Bradshaw makes his way down.)
JR: And I can't think of any worse number two to have if you're Edge. Just surviving Bradshaw alone is a test. Beating 38 other men is virtually impossible after 3 minutes with Bradshaw.
(Bradshaw tries to lock up with Edge, but he keeps backing off before the lockup is completed.)
JR: Edge is being cowardly here.
Tenay: As you noted, JR, Bradshaw is a tough number two. Edge can't just bang with him and hope to win this match.
JR: You can hear from the fans that they're not impressed either.
Tenay: He has to make a choice between winning and making the fans happy. From a competitor's standpoint, that's not a hard choice. This is not a fan based match.
(As we drop to near a minute, Bradshaw finally catches Edge. He proceeds to club him rapidly, trying to wear him down. He whips Edge towards the ropes, and Edge dives, sliding out.)
JR: Oh what the hell...
Tenay: If he truly wants to be teh first massive Rumble winner, it's not about going toe to toe...it's about outlasting and outthinking everyone else.
JR: He should be eliminated.
Tenay: You have to go over the top rope JR. Not under the bottom.
(Every time he tries to get in, Bradshaw reaches for him causing him to repeat. Despite boos, Edge refuses to get into the ring while Bradsaw is there. Finally, the timer hits zero and MNM's music hits.)
JR: So, does this make Edge's life harder or easier Mike Tenay?
Tenay: It's too soon to tell. Nitro could help Edge, Bradshaw, or we could have a three way.
(As Bradshaw turns to face Nitro, Edge slides in behind him and bulldogs him. He stomps him mercilessly as Nitro slowly makes his way to the ring.)
JR: Well, he certainly used it to his advantage, no matter what Nitro does.
(As Edge stomps away at Bradshaw, Nitro leisurely makes his way to the ring. Climbing in, he offers his hand to Edge. The two men shake, and then spend the rest of the time double teaming Bradshaw.)
Tenay: And we have our answer.
JR: Yes, two jackals attacking Bradshaw.
Tenay: You don't have to like it, JR. But this is how you win matches. Temporary alliances to take out stronger fighters is how people win Rumbles and Battle Royales.
(As the timer counts down, Billy and Chuck's music hits, and Gunn runs to the ring. He clotheslines both Edge and Nitro down.)
JR: SO much for the two on one.
(Gunn then goes and starts stomping on Bradshaw. When Jogn tries to get to his feet, Gunn hits the Fameasser.)
Tenay: Bradshaw may have been doing better under the two on one if you ask me. He's on the verge of elimination.
(Gunn tries to pick up Bradshaw, dragging him to the ropes. He struggles to remove him as the count ends. Cryme Tyme's music hits. Shad starts running to the ring.)
Tenay: And we add another variable to the match.
(As Shad slides in and starts teeing off on Edge and Nitro, Bradshaw manages to fight off Gunn. Soon Shad and Bradshaw are the only men standing.)
JR: Where is this going? Are we about the see clash of the Titans?
(They shake hands and start double teaming the other three competitors. After knocking down all three, they try to toss out Nitro, who holds on until the new music hits, for AJ Styles.)
Tenay: And here comes the Phenomenal One.
JR: Didn't AJ win the +4 modifier?
Tenay: That just means he originally pulled number 2 JR.
JR: That would've been a hell of a match, AJ vs Edge.
(Aj announces his entrance by delivering a phenomenal forearm to Nitro, then runs up and dropkicks Bradshaw out of the ring.)
Tenay: I cannot think of a better entrance than to have the first elimination of the night.
JR: And Bradshaw of the APA to boot. Not just anyone...but one of the biggest and best.
(The remaining five men brawl, with AJ and Nitro fighting while Gunn and Edge team up on Shad. AS they go at it, the Road Warriors theme hits and Heidenreich comes sprinting to the ring.)
JR: Few men have been as dominant as Heidenreich since the Road Warriors have tapped him to be their third member HE stepped up when Hawk was injured, and then, since Animal disappeared, and he was the only Road Warrior, he has become a force of nature.
Tenay: This is true. he hasn't had a single loss since he became a Road Warrior.
(Heidenreich slides in, hitting his finisher on Gunn. He then follows with Nitro, Edge, Shad and AJ. Having clobbered everyone in the ring, he crows to the crowd. )
JR: Heidenreich clears house. He is absolutely dominant.
(Before he can eliminate anyone, the nWo's music hits, and here comes Nash. He walks out and gets in Heidenreich's face.)
JR:And business is about to pick up. We have two of the most dominant behemoths in the business about to square off.
(The two men begin trading blows. This devolves quickly into them tying up and simultaneously pounding on each other. AS they fight, Edge takes out Nash's legs, and Nitro superkick's Heidenreich. We immediately go back to a free for all.)
Tenay: We have the glorious chaos of the Rumble.
(Eliminations are attempted, but none succeed. And the clock counts down to Regal's entrance.)
JR: And here comes the British Brawler.
Tenay: Submissions and shoot wrestling is hardly the best skill set for this type of match.
JR: Perhaps not, but lets not forget that Regal has no problems standing and fighting with the best of them.
(He slides into the ring, where Shad is waiting for him. He evades Shad's clumsy attempt to grapple, slides behind and executes a textbook perfect german suplex, sliding quickly into a side headlock/armbar combination.
Tenay: You can't submit your opponent in this match.
JR: True, but weakening them makes it easier to eliminate them.
(Nash tries to drop an elbow on Regal, but he rolls out of the way, letting Shad take the hit. He takes out Nash's leg And locks him in a Boston Crab. Quickly he releases it to catch Heidenreich's clothesline and whip him in an arm drag into another arm submission.)
Tenay: Regal is putting on a clininc. Anything anyone tries, he's ready for and has a counter. Everyone is ending up on the bad side of his technical skills.
(Edge and Nitro double team AJ, trying to eliminate him as Regal keeps applying submissions. AJ fights back, but the two men overpower him. He gets tossed over the ropes, but AJ holds on and falls to the apron, holding on for dear life. The countdown ends and Goldust's music hits.)
JR: It's about to get a lot odder in here. Goldust Productions is about to reshoot the Rumble.
Tenay: As strange as Goldust is, his unorthodox style makes it difficult for his opponents to prepare for him. That may be a supreme asset tonight.
(Goldust hops on the apron and does his signature taunt to Kevin Nash. When Nash tries to grab him, he grabs his hair and drops, hanging him up on the top rope. Sliding in after him, he drops to his knees and delivers a stiff straight hand uppercut to Nash's chin, rocking him.)
JR: I believe he calls that the Good Morning Kiss.
Tenay: Disgusting.
(Goldust then turns his attention to Nitro and Edge, saving AJ. Once he gets him some breathing room, he pulls AJ in and starts stroking his hair, freaking AJ out. )
Tenay: AJ doesn't seem to enjoy the assistance he just received.
JR: Well, he came here tonight to fight, not to get petted like a puppy.
(Edge tries to rush them, but AJ pushes Goldust out of the way and then delivers a Pele, dropping Edge to the mat. Grinning ear to ear, Goldust hugs him.)
JR: He returned the favor, but he may be regretting it.
(As AJ struggles, Shad runs up and splashes both in the corner. He picks up Goldust on his shoulder for a slam, but Dust slides down his back and grabs his head for the curtain call. Shad tries to get up in a daze, but Billy Gunn runs up and hits the Fameasser.)
Tenay: Being big is not always a benefit in a match like this. It makes you a target, and watching many of the smaller guys team up to drop someone like Shad is expected.
(As the two men finish tossing Shad from the ring, MVP's music hits. He comes down, and starts bad mouthing Gunn, catching his attention. He ambles to the ring, keeping Gunn's attention, as Nash takes both Gunn and Dust down from behind.)
JR: What cheap tactics. Don't just bump your gums on the outside. Get in and show us what you're made of.
(Nash lifts Gunn and jacknifes him over the top rope, onto the apron...eliminating him.)
Tenay: Like it or not, he got rid of a competitor, and without lifting a finger. You don't survive a match like this without creativity and alliances.
(Instead of getting in the ring, however, MVP slowly makes his way around the ring to the table. He grabs a headset and sits down.)
JR: What the hell are you doing?
MVP: Gracing you with my presence, JR. Making the announcer's table more valuable and profitable. MVP makes money, and adds value to the product. MVP baby.
Tenay: Wouldn't you add more value in the ring.
MVP: MAYBE. Maybe, but there's no rule that I can't sit for a second and scope my competition.
JR: Many people would say that's cowardly, that you're cheating.
MVP: Yea, well, those people are sitting at home, on their asses, watching MVP. If they knew what they were talking about, they'd be here instead of me.
Tenay: He makes a good point, JR.
JR: The hell he does.
(Jericho's music hits and he cockily makes his way down to the ring, going the long way to mock MVP, with a hand brush to the underside of his chin.)
MVP: Same to you, buddy.
(Hopping in, he springboards onto AJ Styles with a phenomenal forearm, before giving a dropkick to Goldust.)
JR: What a show of disrespect to AJ Styles.
MVP: Well, I don't know, JR. They do say that imitation is the best for of flattery.
JR: I'm sure he was flattering you too when he walked by.
MVP: No, of course not. But you have to consider the quality of the wrestler. With someone like AJ Styles, someone of that low quality, any attention is more than he deserves.
JR: Low quality? The Phenomenal AJ Styles.
Tenay: I'm sure he just means compared to him.
MVP: Well, he's definitely not up to my standards.
(Jericho Lionsaults him. He lifts him up and whips him into Heidenreich who does the spinning Boss Man Slam. Heidenreich unceremoniously dumps him over the ropes. )
Tenay: And Jericho makes his presence immediately felt by taking out the Phenomenal AJ Styles. That's a powerful statement.
(Jericho claps Heidenreich on the shoulders, grinning. Heidenreich turns around and decks him.)
MVP: And this shows not just that Styles isn't on my level, cause I wouldn't have been eliminated like that. But Jericho isn't in my league either, cause I wouldn't have made that mistake either.
Tenay: Just because someone works together with you to eliminate someone doesn't make you friends, or even temporary allies.
MVP: Couldn't have said it better myself.
(Heidenreich grounds and pounds Jericho, with Goldust stomping away at him. The countdown ends and John Cena's music hits. He comes sprinting down the ramp, tossing his hat.)
MVP: At this point there's not even a reason for me to be in the ring. We're not even sending out anybody worth my time.
JR: Well, then if it's all easy wins, what does that say about you that you won't get in?
Tenay: Well, he could still wear himself out on lesser talent.
MVP: Thank you, Mike Tenay. At least somebody gets it.
JR: OH, I get it. You're full enough of it to fertilize a farm. You're a master at very poor excuses.
MVP: That was terrible, JR.
(Instead of going for the ring, Cena runs to the announcer table. As MVP starts to protest, Cena jerks him over the table and runs him into the ring.)
JR: It's not just me that thinks MVP sitting out his time in the Rumble is BS. The other stars won't stand for it.
(MVP tries to get away from Cena and backs right into Regal. As he spins, Regal starts slamming knife edges chops into his chest. He tries to get away and runs into Cena who lifts him into a spinning back drop powerbomb. Showing that "you can't see me", Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle.)
Tenay: This was obviously not the experience tonight MVP wanted.
JR: That's what the match is all about. Welcome to the Rumble, MVP. Don't enjoy your stay. It'll be short.
(Jericho and Heidenreich also take a turn on MVP, before putting him in the corner and letting Goldust hit the Shattered Dreams.)
JR: It's wrestling's version of Oprah. You get to kick MVP's ass, and you get a turn and you get a turn. Everybody gets a turn.
(When they go to toss MVP out, however, Nitro pulls him off of Heidenreich's shoulders. He superkicks Heidenreich over the ropes, but he holds on. As soon as he gets to his feet, Edge spears him off the apron.)
JR: Go figure that the two jackals would side with MVP.
Tenay: These three men may have just guaranteed they;ll be the last men standing, JR.
JR: And they're the last three I want to see.
Tenay: Drive, intelligence, and killer instincts. That's what you have to do to get on top.
(As the brawl continues, Stone Cold's music hits. He runs to the ring and slides in. Immediately he hits a Lou Thesz Press on Nash, and pounds away. He delivers a stunner to MVP, who rolls out of the ring. He also delivers one to Goldust, and another to Regal. The fans cheer as he throws his hands up in victory.)
JR: And business has just picked up. Austin 3:16 says he just stunned your ass at the Rumble.
Tenay: One of the roughest sumbitches to ever step in the ring. This man has helped redefine wrestling by stomping the hell out of everyone.
(He goes right back to stomping away at Nash, turning his back on the rest of the competitors, who brawl away.)
JR: And here's the feud between the Elite and the nWo. These two groups can't stand each other.
Tenay: Such single minded spite may come back to bite him in the ass, though. There's too many people in this match to focus on just one man.
(Soon, the time runs out and Booker T comes running down. He meets Jericho in the ring and starts chopping away at him. He spinebusters him and notices Nash. He joins in with Austin at stomping away at Nash.)
Tenay: Back to back superstars. And things couldn't get any worse for Kevin Nash.
JR: The only people who hate the nWo more than the Elite are Flair's crew. Two of the biggest threats to the nWo are in the ring right now.
Tenay: And both are laser focused on Nash.
(The two men pick him up. Austin hits a Stunner, and then Book hits the Scissor Kick. Without missing a beat they lift him and clothesline Nash over the top rope. The fans go wild as both men celebrate.)
JR: Thanks for coming, Kevin Nash. The nWo's first hope to win this match is gone. And that;s less backup for Hogan and Show coming up later.
(Edge and Nitro blindside Austin and Booker and proceed to stomp away. The next intro hits, and Jeff Hardy comes running down to the ring. Before he gets in, MVP blindsides him on the outside, and runs him into the ringpost.)
Tenay: That couldn't have gone any worse for Hardy. He got taken out before he even began.
(As MVP tries to injury Hardy, Goldust reaches over the ropes and grabs him by the hair. MVP screams in pain as he is dragged into the ring.)
JR: Once again, MVP tries to stay out of the match and fight on his terms, and the rest of the ring says "no sir."
(MVP counters by dropping Goldust on the ropes. He slides in and hits the playmaker. While he's been stalling however, Hardy has climbed to the top and hits a Swanton onto both men.)
Tenay: That is probably the best entrance we've seen tonight.
JR: Hardy isn't just a show. He sacrifices his body to take out his opponents in a way few others can match. There is nothing Hardy won't do for the victory.
Tenay: And it backfires on his just about as often.
(Nitro tries to superkick Hardy, but he catches it, spins him around, and delivers a twist of fate. Before he can capitalize, however, Edge catches him from behind, and the two go brawling into the corner.)
Tenay: Here comes number 18, JR.
(And with that, Sting's music hits. Everyone looks expectantly to the ring, but he drops in from the rafters. Disengaging his rapel rope, he "woos" with the crowd, and immediately launches into the corner to hit both Hardy and Edge with a Stinger Splash.)
JR: Oh my God. It's the Icon!
Tenay: Eat your heart out Hardy. That's the greatest Rumble entrance we've EVER seen.
(Regal tries to tie up Sting from behind, but the Icon fights through, elbowing Regal off him. Spinning him around, he hits the Scorpion Death Drop out of nowhere. Playing to the crowd, he locks in the Scorpion Death Lock. Writhing in agony, Regal starts to tap.)
JR: That's a Royale Rumble first.
Tenay: And he can tap all he wants. He isn't going to be removed until he is tossed over that top rope.
(Austin tries to Stunner a distracted Sting, but he catches the leg. Spinning Austin around, he Scorpion Death drops Austin right on top of Regal. Standing, he does another Woo with the crowd joining him.)
JR: The crowd is electrified by Sting's showing.
Tenay: And we're not even halfway JR. Here comes our next entrant.
("The Fire Burns" hits and CM Punk makes his way down.)
JR: The Straight Edge Superstar looks ready to X out someone.
(Sliding in, he targets Jericho and starts pounding away. He mounts him in the corner and rains down punches. While Jericho manages to push him off, when he rushes forward Punk lifts him up onto his shoulders and hits a Go To Sleep. Withpout missing a beat, he gets in Cena's face. )
Tenay: Allies? Enemies?
(After several tense moments of staring each other down, and some mouthing off, the two begin trading rights.)
JR: There's your answer, Tenay.
(Cena tries to lock up, but Punk floats behind him, and takes him down, before sliding into a Cobra Clutch. Cena powers up, lifting Punk and suplexing him out of the hold. As Punk bounces up, holding his head, the two men stare each other down.)
Tenay: What a matchup that'd be. Punk can outmanuever Cena's blunt tactics, but Cena can power through the submissions. It's a shame we can't see who would be the better man in a normal match.
JR: Heck, we might not even see who's better period, because it's time for another entrant. We're halfway there.
(Welll, it's the big shooowwwwww, and it blurs into the nWo theme. 500 pounds of pure meanness stalks to the ring in the familiar black and white filter.)
Tenay: And there couldn't be a bigger game changer coming through that curtain right now.
JR: If you are in that ring, you cannot be happy about that entrant.
Tenay: The only saving grace is that we're still relatively early in the match. Could you imagine him coming out 10 men later? 15?
JR: No, Mike, I cannot. That would be a game ender, not a changer.
(Show doesn't even step into the ring before he catches hold of MVP. Grabbing him, he lifts him over the ropes and chokeslams him to the floor. )
Tenay: Does that even count, JR? He's not officially in the match til he steps into the ring.
JR: Well, it says you are eliminated by going over the top rope. It pus no specifications on that.
(Regal is next on the chopping block. Show catches him in a massive Chokeslam, then tosses him from the ring like a sack of garbage. Jericho launches at him, only to be caught in mid air and tossed over the ropes as well. Mercury tries to jump on his back and choke him out, but Show tosses him to the ground, hits the Hog Log, and then Nitro is gone. Punk tries to grapple, but Show launches him backwards over the ropes.)
Tenay: Holy crap. That's unbelievable.
JR: That's five big eliminations in 30 seconds.
(Everybody sizes Show up, and all the rivalries are temporarily eliminated, while the remaining 8 men all gang up on Show and eliminate him.)
Tenay: While 5 is no overall record, never before have 5 people been eliminated in less than a minute in any Rumble...let alone by one man.
JR: If they hadn't teamed up, Show would've done a lot more damage.
Tenay: I think everyone knows that. The team up was simply a matter of survival.
(And the clock counts down, bringing out Samoa Joe.)
Tenay: Out of the frying pan and into the fire.
JR: They got rid of one monster to get another.
(Joe stalks to the ring. Before getting in, he grabs Hardy's legs and pulls him out to drive him back first into the apron. Jumping to the apron, he delivers a nasty kick to the side of Sting's head. Getting in, he punches away at Cena before tossing him across the ring by his neck.)
JR: And he came in like a wrecking ball.
Tenay: Somehow I doubt Joe would be thrilled that you're describing him in Miley Cryus song lyrics.
(He dropkicks Stone Cold into the corner, and takes him into a Muscle Buster that weakens him enough to toss Austin out.)
JR: How big is that to toss out one of the biggest names of all time in your very first Rumble?
Tenay: Every match for Joe he tops himself. He just keeps geting bigger and better.
(Joe launches himself at Sting, punching away. Pushing him back into the corner, Joe hits a spinning enseguri, with Sting collapsing in the corner, at which point he stomps away. )
JR: He's going straight for the biggest names in the ring.
Tenay: He said that he was all about making himself THE name here tonight. He doesn't care as much about winning as it is breaking the old guard. He wants to show that no matter how good the big names are, he's better. Joe should be the name.
JR: With his attitude and his viciousness, it's obvious why he's been undefeated for almost 18 months.
Tenay: Whoever comes next has a lot to live up to.
(And the music hits, heralding Luther Reigns, who comes out looking sour as always, ready to kick someone's head off.)
JR: Although if anyone can follow up Big Show and Samoa Joe, it's this man.
Tenay: He did fight Big Show to a double count out about a month ago. Since neither man won, Foley decided that meant there was no loser and put both in the Rumble match.
Jr: It was as physical of a contest as any we've ever seen.
(Reigns gets into the ring, and faces off with Joe. The two stare each other down.)
Tenay: We're about to see Clash of the Titans here.
JR: This is like the 10th matchup we've seen tonight that would be an amazing match on it's own.
Tenay: And here we go.
(The two begin trading blows. First Reigns backs Joe into the corner with blows, then Joe flips it. He quickly lands one of his trademark spinning enseguris, but Luther is not phased. To the contrary, he simply puffs up and yells in anger.)
JR: I don't care who you are. When you hit a blow like that and it gets shrugged off that has to be intimidating.
Tenay: Joe's not the kind to be intimidated.
JR: Yet even he looks taken aback. He's giving Reigns some room.
(Reigns explodes out of the corner and takes Joe down. Joe tries to come back, but Reigns tosses him in the air like a featherweight; Joe lands hard. Again he lifts and tosses him.)
JR: Joe is not a small guy. And he just manhandled him like he weighed nothing.
Tenay: You don't see anyone push Joe around like that. Anyone.
(Hardy tries to jump on Reigns back, and Reigns ignores him, going back to Joe with Hardy still on him. )
JR: Good lord, he doesn't even seem to notice Hardy is there.
(Standing, he drops backwards, landing on Joe. As Joe struggles to to get the corner, Luther grabs Hardy by the legs and swings him into Joe.)
Tenay: He just used Hardy as a weapon. Twice.
JR: Freakish strength mixed with ruthless aggression.
(As the three men tangle, Goldust stalks Cena. Before he can get him, Sting catches him from behind and tosses him over the ropes.)
Tenay: And another one bites the dust.
JR: One out, one in.
(The asian chimes play as the dragon roars, and Ultimo Dragon makes his way to the ring. He runs in and springboards into Cena with a crossbody. Ducking a clothesline from Booker, he bounces off the rops with an asai moonsault. Diving between Edge's legs, he does a backflip drop kick.)
JR: The speed of Ultimo Dragon is hard to counter, hard to deal with. He can hit four high flying hard hitting moves in the time it takes some men to throw a punch.
Tenay: His constant momentum has taken out men twixe his size. Let's see what it can do in a Rumble.
(Reigns and Joe continue to slug it out, but Hardy now comes up to Dragon. As fans cheer, he claps, and holds his hand out in a show of respect.)
JR: Yet another dream match, Tenay.
Tenay: I don't disagree, JR. But can you imagine if it was their tag teams?
JR: A fan's dream.
(The two tie up. When Hardy tries to get a headlock, Dragon backdrops him...but he lands on his feet. Hardy tries a back spinning mule kick, but Dragon drops. Dragon tries to execute a flipping leg drop, but Hardy moves. )
JR: Look at that, these men are evenly matched.
(Hardy runs up the turnbuckle, but Dragon is right behind him and drop kicks him out of the ring.)
Tenay: And, as I said earlier, no matter how exciting he is, Hardy's risks often backfire. We just saw a prime example.
(The remaining men go to their respective tie ups, trying unsuccessfully to get eliminations until the next entrant. "I walk Alone" blares through the arena.)
Tenay: And here comes the Animal.
JR: While he's a beast on his own, where he goes the New Blood follow. This makes him one of the most dangerous men on the roster.
(Batista storms down to the ring and jumps to the apron. He grabs Booker from the outside, and starts clubbing him over the ropes, beating his chest raw. Dragging him over the ropes, he wraps his arms around his waist and runs him full steam into the ring post. Booker cruples and falls to the floor.)
JR: And again, we have an elimination by someone who hasn't even gotten into the ring yet.
Tenay: We often talk about taking a competitor out before you're even in the ring, but this truly rewrites that saying.
(Batista grabs Sting and runs him into the corner, shouldering him in the gut. After several, Sting chops away at his back, forcing him to let go. They become yet another brawling couple as the time runs down, and America's Most Wanted music hits. )
JR: And here comes to Cowboy, James Storm.
Tenay: Downing a beer. This is not the kind of match you want to be drunk for.
JR: And with the exception of John Cena and Edge, everyone in this match has been in it for less than 10 minutes. That means everyone in this match is pretty fresh. You can't count on people being tired.
Tenay: It deserves noting that Edge has been in this match for 24 minutes. He has shown no signs of tiring, no signs of slowing down. He is just as dangerous now as he was when it was just him and Bradshaw.
(Harris pauses at the apron and takes time to finish his beer, watching the carnage.)
Tenay: This isn't a bar. Have your drink after the amtch is over.
JR: What a difference from your attitude with MVP.
(Cena walks over and opens the ring ropes, inviting Harris in. But the Cowboy walks around to a different side and gets in where no one is there. Cena lets him in and then goes over to face him. Sharing words, the two tie up.)
JR: Two rising stars face off, either one of which would be amazing in the main event at WrestleMania.
Tenay: A drunk or a wanna be rapper. Thank God there are other choices.
(The two struggle back and forth, reversing each other a few times in arm and head locks. Finally, the Cowboy gets behind Cena and sweeps his legs. He begins dropping elbows on the back of Cena's head. Slapping his side, he gets his arms for a Mexican Surfboard. If that wasn't bad enough for Cena, Joe runs up and Sentons both of them.)
JR: That's the hardest part of this match. Its almost impossible to effectively create an offense because of how many men there are. You get a little momentum and someone shuts you down.
Tenay: But that can be an asset too. You can use the other men as a distraction. You don't have to be the focus the whole match.
JR: It's a hard line to walk.
Tenay: But the best one's can, and, so, far, Edge has been the master at it tonight.
JR: But there's 16 to go, and here comes the next.
(Again, the APA's music hits and here comes Farooq. )
Tenay: And if you're in this match right now, how happy do you have to be that Bradshaw is already eliminated.
JR: The APA are a wrecking crew. They're bad enough in a normal match. But remove the tags, take away the rules and make it to where they can toss people at will? That's any reasonable man's nightmare.
(And to prove JR right, he immediately picks up the first man he sees, Harris, for a spinebuster drop. Dragon, then Sting, and then Cena all get them too. Edge tries to cheap shot him, but is slingshotted over the ropes. At the last second he catches himself, but Farooq starts hammering away.)
JR: He's hanging on for dear life. Edge's dream is seconds away from a rude awakening.
Tenay: And he no longer has backup.
(Edge drops to the mat and rolls back in, even as Farooq is trying to eliminate him. As the two fight, Senshi jumps over the guardrail, slides in and kicks Joe in the back of the head.)
JR: What is this? Why the hell is Senshi attacking Joe?
Tenay: I have no idea, JR. But right now, the why is less important than the fact that its happening. We'll figure out the reason later.
(Rocked, Joe tries to fight back, but Farooq sees an opening, and launches Joe from the ring. Senshi backs away and slides out, grinning at Joe as he backs up the ramp. Joe sputters in fury as he is led out of the arena, shaking in anger.)
JR: And, just like that, Farooq cut short Joe's quest to destroy the competition. As impressive as he was, Farooq just stole his thunder.
Tenay: With a big assist from Senshi. And I can't wait to hear why.
(Batista and Farooq go at it, while Sting starts taking on Reigns. Cena and Dragon tie up as Edge sits in the corner watching. The time ticks down, and Brock Lesnar's music hits. Roaring at the top of the ramp, he sprints to the ring.)
JR: And we just ratcheted it up another notch.
Tenay: He's not the only beat in the ring though. There's stiff competition that can maybe give him a run for his money.
JR: He is the freshest man in there though, Tenay.
(Getting in, he clotheslines Edge down, then Cena. He turns back and catches Edge in an overhead Belly to belly. Clubbing Dragon, he gets tossed for a german. Sting gets a quick kick to the gut to set up a nasty power bomb.Roaring, he taunts the other wrestlers and crowd.)
Tenay: And Lesnar takes out everyone in a matter of seconds. He's an absolute monster.
(Within seconds, the rest of the men gang up on him, several punching and kicking him.)
JR: And the other stars are determined not to have a repeat of the Big Show.
Tenay: It was smart before and its smart now.
(Lesnar, however, fights back, shoving his attackers away two at a time. Once he gets clear, he starts clotheslining them as they come back. Finally, he catches Dragon and suplexes him out of the ring, eliminating him.)
JR: And it looks like Lesnar was paying attention to what happened to Show earlier.
Tenay: Knowing you have that target on your back, you have to have the plan to survive. You have to be prepared for that onslaught. And while it's not over, Lesnar has reduced the odds against him a little bit.
(Lesnar charges after the remaining men, suplexing and throwing them arooq tries to chop his legs from behind, but Lesnar catches him from his knee, and lifts into an F5.)
JR: Like the finisher name suggests, this man is an absolute tornado. He is a natural disaster. Get in his path and he will destroy you.
(The men continue to double and triple team Lesnar, weakening him, even as he dispatches one after another. And all the while the counter clicks down, leading to "If you ain't Chearting, you ain't trying" blaring over the speakers. He comes down and plays to the crowd on the turnbuckle before getting into the ring.)
JR: Now that's smart, he can't be eliminated before he crosses those ropes, so play it up before getting in.
Tenay: It's be smarter not to play it up at all The longer you delay, the more of a target you are, and the more people notice you.
JR: And the longer he plays around, the less he has to survive inside.
Tenay: Better to jump in, hit hard, hit fast.
(Reigns sees him and charges over. Eddie leaps over him, mule kicking him in the back as he goes. Rolling to his feet, he catches Reigns on the rebound for his rolling suplexes.)
JR: So much for bad strategy, Tenay. Eddie's three amigos just joined the party.
(As Eddie shimmies, Cena tries to catch him, but Eddie ducks the clothesline, and Cena gets a set of amigos as well, the third dropping him right on Reigns/)
Tenay: And Eddie shows that he can have fun while bringing his A game.
JR: We got a two for one special on Hombre Ass Kickings.
(Eddie stops and looks at the crowd, getting his signature smirk, getting a huge pop. Grabbing Reigns legs, he drags him to the edge, slides out, and racks Reigns on the ring post. He then slams each leg into the post. Looking at the crowd he yells "If you aint cheating..."
JR: (with crowd) You aint trying.
Tenay: Why do you encourage him, JR?
JR: It's hard not to like Eddie Guerrero. He is the only man in wrestling history to get the fans to CHEER for cheating. I'd expect the Professor to know that.
Tenay: I'm aware, but it's no different when he does it than anyone else.
JR: The fans disagree Tenay.
Tenay: Truth is not a matter of consensus, JR.
(As Guerrero slides back in, Harris is there to greet him. Smiling broadly, Eddie offers a hand. Harris offers a handshake, and the two proceed to exchange blows.)
JR: What a great show of respect between these world class competitors!
Tenay: A drunk and a cheater are world class? And you get on me for talking to MVP?
( Undertaker's music hits.)
JR: And the deadman enters.
Tenay: You have to know that the two champions do not want Undertaker to win this match. His legendary WWF/WWE run at Wrestlemania is the last thing any champion would want to compete with.
(As he gets into the ring, other competitors start backing off. Reigns and Batista share a glance, and rush him as he removes his hat.)
JR: That's the youngbloods way. Wait until the opponent is distracted and jump him.
Tenay: And that's the only way you beat the undertaker. Although, if it was me, I'd want a lot more than two people.
JR: Undertaker inspires a different kind of fear than Brock Lesnar or Big Show.
(After a few seconds of taking blows from both sides, Undertaker retaliates. Bouncing back and forth between his two attackers, he throws powerhouse blows that rock each man. He whips Reigns into the ropes to get a big boot, before he does the same thing to Batista.)
JR: And this is why Undertaker is the thing wrestlers look for under their beds. He just negated two of the biggest men in the ring with seemingly no effort.
Tenay: And, as impressive as that is, it is time to see who our next man is.
("HOOOO Train. Pimping ain't easy" blares, and Godfather comes dancing out, carrying two beautiful women with him.)
JR: And here comes one of our most beloved superstars escorted by two of the most beautiful women I've ever seen, Mickie James and Alexa Bliss.
Tenay: What is he thinking, exposing women to this?
(Godfather steps in and tangles with Harris. The two go back and forth, before Godfather flapjacks him on the ropes. As he fights, Luther Reigns steps to the ropes to target Bliss. He grabs her hair, pulling her to the ropes.)
JR: What is this scumbag doing?
Tenay: This is why you don't bring women to this type of match JR.
(Reigns tries to get a kiss, but Godfather walks up behind him and gives him a low blow. While he is stunned, Mickie and Alexa pull him over the ropes.)
Tenay: That's illegal!
JR: There are no rules in this match, and, if you're going to lay your hands on women, you don't deserve the rules to protect you.
(Reigns goes after the women, but officials stop him and shove him to the back, ranting and raving, the whole way. The next song hits, and Mark Henry passes him on the way in.)
Tenay: Well, if anyone is celebrating about the loss of Reigns, this isn't any better.
JR: The world's Strongest Man. The only man who can bench press the Big Show.
Tenay: In a match where you get tossed over the top rope...Henry is about the worst entrant you can get. And at this late of a date to boot. He has reversed a car in motion...what is tossing a 250 pound man over a 4 foot rope?
(Coming in, Henry splashes three men in a row. He runs back, clotheslining each of them. Finally, he stands toe to toe with the Undertaker.)
JR: And here we go. The unstoppable force versus the immovable object.
(Taker tries to grapple with Henry, but Henry throws him back like he is nothing. Shaking it off, Taker moves in again with some haymakers, but, after absorbing a few, Henry T-Bone suplexes Taker without effort.)
Tenay: When have you ever seen someone negate Undertaker like that?
(As the two men take the ring, the lights go down, and Goldberg's music hits.)
JR: And this is terrible news for everyone. The second most destructive team in history, behind the Road Warriors, are in the ring at once.
Tenay: Lesnar and Goldberg have faced the best teams in history, the Road Warriors, the APA, the Brothers Destruction, and have defeated all of them. They even defeated all three teams in one match.
(As Goldber slides in, he sizes up Taker, and cuts him in half with a spear. As Taker tries to sit up, he yanks him to his feet and hits the Jackhammer.)
Jr: That...no one has ever negated the sit up before. In 30 years of destruction, no one has ever pulled him out of his sit up.
Tenay: I am genuinely speechless, JR.
(Signaling to Goldberg, the two men hit the F-Spear move, and toss Taker together.)
JR: And this is the destructive force of BrockBerg. No single man can stand up to them.
(As Brockberg manhandle the remaining men, the countdown ends and RVD is shuffled out.)
JR: RVD has had two defeats in the past month in the Rumble chase, both to Edge. He has defeated everyone in the Rumble roster he has faced to go from number 3 to number 32. That is maybe the most impressive manuevering in Rumble history.
Tenay: Let's not forget, though, he had the option to face Edge for the self determined slot, and he lost.
(RVD enters the fray as Cena manages to manuever Sting to the outside of the ropes. Sting fights off Cena, but Harris takes advantage but Harris Last Calls him off the apron.)
JR: Cena has just eliminated the Icon. This is one of the biggest hits of the match.
(As the fighting continues, we see Joe backstage destroying everything.}
Joe: WHERE IS THAT SON OF A BITCH?
(Foley confronts him."
Foley: We have already removed him from the arena. Joe, JOE! We will sort this out at a later date. But if you keep destroying my arena, you will be banned.
(Joe glares at him for a moment before storming off. As we cut back to the ring, the Rock's music hits.)
JR: The People's Champion is here.
Tenay: Rock may have only had one match in the past month, but it was a 6 man elimination match to guarantee a spot below 30. And Rock miraculously pinned all 5 other men himself.
(AS Rock gets in, he spinebusters multiple guys. With the final, he starts the people's elbow, but gets a spear from Edge for his troubles.)
Tenay: The most electrifying man in sports entertainment and Hollywood has just been shut down by an R rating.
JR: He almost broke him in half with that one Tenay.
(Before Edge can do anything else, Godfather dropkicks him. He flies forward and out between the ropes.)
Tenay: We remind you that Edge is still in this match because he went through the ropes, not over them.
(Harris tries to take advantage of the distraction, but Farooq interferes and pushes him back into Mark Henry for a World's Strongest Slam.)
JR: It appears we have another alliance, Tenay. The Old Nation of Domination is working together for one night only.
(Lesnar quickly lifts the fallen Harris, and f5s him right over the ropes.)
Tenay: That was insanely dangerous, JR. He's lucky he hit the apron instead of falling straight to the floor.
JR: Somehow I doubt he feels very lucky, Mike.
(Godfather helps Rock back up to his feet. The four men stand in the ring, arms raised.)
Tenay: Well, this is certainly bad news if you're not in the Nation. Nearly half of the ring is now working of one accord.
(As the four men start to single out other competitors, Raven's music hits, and he comes down to the ring, pushing his cart full of weapons.)
JR: Well, it seems Raven has an equalizer plan. Though this cannot be legal.
Tenay: There are no disqualifications in the Rumble, JR. He's not breaking the rules.
JR: It's certainly against the SPIRIT of the match.
Tenay: That may be, but, with the Nation temporarily reformed, desperate times call for desperate measures.
(Raven starts throwing all sorts of weapons into the ring, scattering the Nation, hitting them several times. He slides in with a chair and delivers a shot right to Henry's gut. He smashes it into Godfather's head, and then into Godfather's back. Then, as Rock rushes him, drops the chair and toeholds him facefirst into it.)
JR: None of these men came here tonight prepared for a hardcore match.
Tenay: And that's why it worked, JR. The Nation was effectively neutralized.
(Farooq grabs Raven from behind, choking him. But Raven pulls a chain out of his kilt, drops to a knee, and sqings it back into Farooq's groin.)
JR: Dirty pool!
Tenay: That's appropriate. After all, he did just rack his balls.
JR: Oh, Ha Ha. Very funny.
(Raven turns, wrapping the chain around his fist, and punches Farooq back towards the ropes. As he lays backwards on the edge, barely holding himself up, Raven grabs a road sign, and, running, cracks Farooq in the head with it, sending him spinning out of the ring. )
Tenay: Like it or not, that was effective.
JR: Put me in the not column.
Tenay: Three men allied may still be a pain, but at least it's not four.
(While he is distracted, Godfather quickly catches him in the Pimp Drop, right onto a trashcan he threw in.)
JR: Karma visits Raven. What goes around comes around.
(Before he can gloat, Goldberg runs up and tosses him over the ropes.)
Tenay: And the Nation has been cut in half!
(Stand back! There's a Hurricane coming through! And, like a bolt, he dashes to the ring.)
JR: After seeing that, Hurricane is appropriate. A lot of wrongs exist for a superhero to right.
Tenay: Stop it, JR. This man's no superhero. He's a mentally disturbed man in a Johnny Brock rental costume.
(He springs in, taking Rock out with a diving clothesline. He hits a shining Wizard on Cena, and tries to mount an offense against Henry, but is shoved off. )
Tenay: He may have bit off more than he can chew, JR.
(He keeps trying, and keeps getting tossed across the ring. Finally, Henry comes for him, and he dropkicks Henry's knee, sending him face first into the turnbuckle. Hurricane runs and hits a shining wizard to Henry's head in the corner.)
JR: Or maybe not. Hurricane has just felled the mighty Mark Henry.
(Raven tries to chair shot Hurricane, who dodges at the last moment, letting him hit the ropes which bounces the chair back into his face. Stunned, he turns in time for a shining wizard into the chair, which knocks him from the arena.)
(But his celebration is short lived. Edge slides back in and quickly tosses Hurricane over the top rope.)
Tenay: Edge has been out of the ring for so long, I almost forgot about him.
JR: And he used that to his advantage on poor Hurricane. He turned his moment of victory into defeat.
Tenay: That's what happens when you don't keep track of everyone. You have to have eyes in the back of your head in this kind of match.
JR: Just because I know that doesn't mean I have to like it.
(Arabic music fills the arena as Muhammad Hussein comes stalking to the ring. He goes to slide in, but Lesnar cuts him off. Backing up with his hands up, he stalls that.)
JR: Hussein is one of the most hated men in the ring today.
Tenay: He may not be likable, but Hussein almost destroyed the X Division about two years ago, with Team Anti-X at the World Cup. And then the following year, he captained Team Middle East, almost winning.
JR: I think that's one of many reasons people hate him.
Tenay: True, but it's still impressive how he faced all those high flyers, stepped out of his element and gave them the fights of their lives. After he impressively defeated Cactus Jack at last year's Wrestlemania, I'm sure he'd love to top that with a main event position this year.
(When Hussein keeps dodging Lesnar, Batista tries to take advantage from behind. Clubbing his back, he tries to gain position, but Lesnar spins around. and fights back.)
JR: While these two behemoths are tangling, Hussein is content to just sit outside and watch.
Tenay: Wouldn't you, JR? It's suicide to step between monsters like that.
(Lesnar gains the upper hand, taking Batista out. As he lines him up for elimination, Orton dives out of the crowd and into the ring.)
JR: The damned viper. He's not in this match.
Tenay: No, but he is protecting his investment. Batista is the New Blood's last chance to pull out a victory tonight.
(Lesnar feels him, and spins to face him right as he starts stalking. Caught, Orton pauses briefly and tries to play it off. When Lesnar steps forward, he goes for an Rko, but is sent flying across the ring. He quickly exits as Lesnar reaches for him over the ropes.)
JR: His little sneak attack didn't work.
(As he focuses on Orton, Batista comes up and tosses him out.)
Tenay: But that one did, JR.
(Orton boos up the ramp as fast as his legs can carry him, trying to get rid of the irate Lesnar. After a moment to clear the cobwebs, he follows. Goldberg stares in shock. As Batista celebrates, Hussein finally enters, and tosses Batista out as well.)
JR: Serves him right.
(Ezekiel Jackson's music hits. As he passes Batista, he sneers at him, mocking his elimination.)
Tenay: Numer 37, JR. We're nearing the end.
JR: And we get the largely unknown Jackson. We've seen him in a few impressive matches, but have had little to truly judge him yet.
Tenay: So far, he has ended all of his matches in less than 3 minutes.
JR: Not exactly the kind of staying power you need for this match.
Tenay: But as you have noted, we don't know enough to tell how he will do.
(Jackson slides in and focuses on Cena. The two brawl, going back and forth. On the other side, Goldberg starts pounding on Hussein.)
JR: It looks like Goldberg is blaming Hussein for his partner's loss.
Tenay: Everyone else involved is gone. He drew the short straw, I guess.
(Berg manages to get Hussein on his shoulder and runs him towards the ropes, but Hussein uses the momentum to catch the ropes and pull Goldberg over with him, eliminating him.)
Tenay: That's a massive coup for Hussein.
JR: No doubt, we'll be hearing how he defeated BrockBerg all by himself for the rest of the year.
Tenay: He DID have a hand in it, JR. And that's very impressive.
(Angle starts running to the ring seconds before his music hits. As Jackson notices, he is already in the ring, and has hooked him in an Olympic Slam right over the ropes.)
JR: And before anyone even notices he is there, Kurt Angle has eliminated the biggest remaining man.
Tenay: That's the first of his three Is, JR. Intelligence.
JR: You sure you don't mean cheat shotting?
Tenay: Of course not, JR. That doesn't begin with an I.
JR: Of course. Silly me.
(In disbelief, Jackson tries to climb back in, only to be stopped by the refs. Angle brushes him off.)
JR: It must've been arrogance.
Tenay: That's not an I either.
(Cena takes it to Angle as the rest of the men brawl. And the clock ticks slowly downward to the next entrant, Cactus Jack. HE comes out, tongue hanging manically, and does the finger guns to the crowd.)
JR: Bang Bang.
Tenay: Cactus's disregard for anyone's safety, including his own, makes him quite possibly the most dangerous character in this match.
JR: He is also Flair's last line of defense against the nWo. Hogan is the last man left, so Cactus has to last until he gets out here.
Tenay: I'm pretty sure Cactus wants more than to just defeat one man. He wants the prize, just like everyone else.
(Climbing the stairs, Cactus starts attacking Hussein before he even gets in. He tries to follow, but Henry floors him with a big splash as he gets in the ring.)
Tenay: You hear the old cliche about hitting the wall? Well, here, I think the wall just hit him.
(Hussein and Henry double team Cactus. Across the ring, Cena and Edge have been fighting. As it seems he is getting the upper hand, the Million Dollar Man comes to ringside. His appearance throws Cena who starts yelling "What are you doing here?")
JR: Cena's manager has come down? Why?
Tenay: It is certainly unorthodox, but, as we saw with Orton and Senshi, a little bit of rule bending can change the complexion of the Rumble.
(Debiase points at Edge and tells Cena to get rid of him. Shaking his head, Cena grabs Edge and pulls him to the ropes. As MDM yanks down on the top rope, Edge springs to life and reverses. Cena goes right over the ropes and lands hard. He looks at DeBiase in shock as Edge turns back to the match.)
Tenay: That...backfired badly.
JR: You think?
Tenay: And now Cena is irate with the Million Dollar Man. He's screaming in his face and pushing him.
JR: He did just cost him the Rumble.
Tenay: He was trying to help him JR.
JR: What is the road to hell paved with again?
(Finally, the clock counts down for the last time, and Hollywood Hulk Hogan comes out to the nWo;s theme.)
Tenay: Number 40 is here.
JR: And Ric Flair has to be fuming that the nWo secured the final spot of the rumble. All of his soldiers, except Cactus are long gone.
Tenay: But all of Hogan's are gone too.
JR: Ladies and gentlemen, one of these 9 men is going to be your number one contender at Wrestlemania. There are no more contestants. There are no more surprise twists. You no longer have to wait to see who else is coming. It is now merely a matter of being the last man standing.
Tenay: Is that all? You make it sound so simple.
(As Hogan nears the ring, Edge starts yelling at him.)
JR: We saw, earlier tonight, Hogan mock Edge for being first. I'd give you good luck, but you'll be long gone before I get out there. Edge told him, I'll not only see you there, I'll eliminate you myself.
Tenay: He's done the first part. Can he do the second?
(Edge tries to take out Hogan as he gets in, stomping away. But Hogan shakes it off, amping himself up as Edge hammers away. Finally, he stops and points, shaking his finger. Rather than follow the script, Edge hightails it. )
JR: What a coward.
Tenay: This is the essence of tactics, JR. If your opponent has you at a disadvantage, retreat and find a new battleground.
(Meanwhile, Eddie tries to take out Henry's legs. After several nasty kicks, he tries a springboard, only to be caught in mid-air. Henry World Strongest Slams him over the ropes to the apron, and he bounces to the floor.
JR: And we're down to 8.
Tenay: And yet again, we see how one mistake can cost you the Rumble. In a normal match, he could've rebounded, regrouped. But, here, once your feet hit the floor, it's over.
(As Henry is off balance, RVD tries to eliminate him. Henry fights back, but soon, Angle has joined in. Then Cactus. For a few minutes, it looks like Henry will fight them off, then Rock runs up, and helps toss him.)
JR: What the hell? The rock just helped eliminate Mark Henry. But, the Nation...
Tenay: Ended years ago, JR. It was convenient for a moment to reunite and use strength in numbers. But, at this point, alliances serve no purpose.
JR: Mark Henry is shocked. Look at him on the outside.
Tenay: He must've forgotten how the Rumble works. Alliances are temporary. And last time Rock won the Rumble, it was to take Henry's world title away.
(Little time is had to celebrate before Hogan hits the Big Boot on Cactus, knocking him over the top rope.)
Tenay: And with that, the nWo have outlasted Flair's pett hatred of them.
JR: Petty? PETTY? After all the nWo have done, not just to Flair, but to the very business itself? All of the men who joined Flar have been their victims.
Tenay: And the nWo have hurt them all over again. Hogan is brushing his hands off toward Cactus.
JR: For those of you at home, we have six men left.
(Edge tries to tangle with Hogan, but is tossed halfway across the ring, while Hogan flexes. Again he tries, with the same results. Finally, running at him again, he catches a big boot. Both Angle and RVD try to rush him, but are laid low, back and forth by a series of big punches.)
JR: Hogan is laying waste to everyone.
Tenay: This is the big advantage of number 40. Two or even four minutes may not seem like a long time. But, in the Rumble, it is an eternity. And while they have worn themselves down, Hulk is fresh.
(Hussein convinces Rock to double team Hogan. But, when Rock goes for him Hussein quickly tosses him out.)
JR: What a heartbreaker, to get so close, and then to lose to such an underhanded move.
Tenay: He should've known better than to trust Hussein. For that matter, he should've known better than to trust anyone at this stage.
(The refs try to get Rock out, but he shoves them aside and gets back in the ring. Spinning Hussein around, he hits a rock bottom. Then tossing his elbow pad, he signals for it...)
JR: The most electrifying move in sports entertainment.
Tenay: He's not even supposed to be in this match anymore.
JR: Orton wasn't supposed to be in it at all. Nor was Senshi. As you put it, there are no disqualifications. You go over the top rop, or you do not. The means don't matter.
(And that said, Rock hits the People's Elbow, and then removes both himself and Hussein over the top rope.)
JR: Rock just showed Hussein the price of double crossing him.
Tenay: And then there were four. Edge. Rob Van Dam. Hulk Hogan. And Kurt Angle. Each man has a 25% chance.
(Angle and RVD pair up while Edge and Hogan trade punches. For a minute, it seems like Angle is going to get the better of RVD, but while he has him on the ropes, Sylvester Turkay's music plays.)
Tenay: He's not even in this match. What's he doing coming out here?
JR: It doesn't appear that he is, Tenay. The stage is empty.
(But Angle lets go of RVD to face the stage. The moment break allows Van Dam to wrap his legs around Angle's neck and leverage him over the ropes. )
JR: Turkay just caused a massive distraction that has removed Angle from this match. He let him taste victory, only to snatch it away.
Tenay: This is an unprecedented night of interference and Rumble rule bending.
JR: Or, as you were saying earlier, strategy.
(Edge tries to take advantage and spear RVD, but he moves and kicks Edge is the face. Edge staggers back, right into Hogan, who has removed his belt and proceeds to whip Edge mercilessly.)
Tenay: This is how bad all three of these men want this, JR. There is no method too crude, no means too far, that they won't use.
JR: Including what would be cheating in a normal match.
Tenay: Including that. We have Edge, who won a unique over the top Battle Royale, where the final two had to battle in a normal match. That saw Edge defeat RVD. The winner got his choice of spot, and the loser was #1.
JR: But Edge demanded the number one spot himself, to make history.
Tenay: And Rob Van Dam became number two. Over the next six weeks, he fought his way up to number 32 by knocking off other competitors.
JR: And Hulk Hogan, lucky number 40. He has largely escaped the battles this Rumble season by using the nWo to do his dirty work for him.
Tenay: Being in charge has it's perks.
JR: He is not just the freshest man in this match. He is the freshest in this season. He only had two matches, both of which he won in under a minute due to the nWo's wolfpack mentality.
(Hogan proceeds to choke Edge out with the belt. As they struggle, RVD climbs the turnbuckle and delivers a Van Daminator to Hogan. As Edge collapses, he gets a Rolling Thunder to the back. RVD pauses to get a chant from the crowd with his thumbs.)
JR: And he reminds us why he is the "Whole F'n Show".
Tenay: You can believe Hogan won't make that mistake again of taking his eye off of RVD.
(RVD tries to spinkick Hogan, but is caught, and lifted into a side powerbomb, dropped right on Edge. Doing his signature taunt of listening to the crowd on each side, Hogan bounds off the Ropes and delivers a leg drop to both.)
JR: The Hollywood Leg Drop just got a double showing.
Tenay: While RVD took the worst of that, you can't imagine Edge is unaffected.
(Stunned, Edge manages to slide out from under RVD. Hogan starts shoving his face, taunting him. Weary, Edge throws a wild hail mary punch which barely clips Hogan. Hogan's eyes go wide and he starts shaking his head.)
JR: OH no, it's time. He's going into that mode.
Tenay: Edge is trying to put him away, but he's Hulking up.
(As Edge follows him around the ring, hitting ineffectual punches, Hogan finally stops and points. He catches Edge's blow and starts hammering his forehead with rights. )
JR: It's all over but the fat lady singing.
(Whipping him into the ropes, Hogan prepares for the big boot. But, at the last secong, Edge explodes back and spears him out of the move.)
Tenay: Oh my god, JR! We have just witnessed history. Never before has anyone countered the Hulking up finale, let alone by taking Hulk out.
JR: Edge has certainly shown not only that he deserves to be in Wrestlemania, but that he is truly one of the greatest of all time.
(As Hulk writhes on the ground, holding his ribs, Edge tries to drag him to the ropes. Slowly, he lifts him, and starts trying to oust him. But, out of nowhere, RVD runs up and executes a spinning wheel kick, knocking Edge to the apron.)
Tenay: RVD again reinserts himself.
(A modified rolling thunder ending in a dropkick sends Edge hurling off the apron and into the barracade.)
JR: He was so close.
Tenay: Look at his face, JR. Can you imagine the heartbreak of outlasting 37 other men, only to be eliminated at the very end?
JR: He had the main event of Wrestlemania in his grasp, and snatched cruelly away.
(RVD shrugs and gives him a "better luck next time, man.")
Tenay: And RVD returns the favor, taking out Edge at the very end. It's a mirror image of their first match.
JR: And he couldn't help but rub some salt into the wound.
Tenay: I'm sure that elimination is the best one of the night for Rob. A little bit of payback.
(Hogan runs up and double ax handles RVD. He quickly lifts him into a suplex, but RVD fights, kneeing him in the head before he can get vertical. Losing it, Hogan desposits him on the apron.)
JR: Hogan is feeling it. He is instants away from Wrestlemania. Can you imagine Hulk Hogan vs Shawn Michaels?
Tenay: How do you know he wouldn't choose the WWF Title?
JR: If it's held by Scott Hall?
Tenay: That's a big if. Triple H vs Hollywood Hogan would be quite the match too. But, it makes sense. If it's Hall, he guarantees that the belt stays in the nWo.
JR: And if he chooses Michaels, he has a chance to regain both titles.
(Catching Hogan's punch, RVD issues a forceful jamp kick to Hogan's bald head. He tries to lift Hogan for a suplex of his own, but Hogan grabs the ropes, and he's forced to drop him on the apron as well. The two men begin throwing punches. )
JR: This is high risk for both men. One wrong step separates the main event of Wrestlemania from missed opportunity.
(Hogan starts pummeling Rob, each blow making him wobblier. When RVS is barely hanging onto the ropes, Hogan goes for a simple shove, but RVD catches his arm. A quick wheel kick rocks him, and, before he can recover, Rob drops and sweeps his legs out from under him. )
Tenay: And Hogan is eliminated.
JR: Rob Van Dam has done it. Rob Van Dam is going to Wrestlemania.
Tenay: That was certainly a wild ride, folks. We have not seen a Rumble that unpredictible before, and we may never see it again.
(RVD celebrates in the ring, getting the crowd to chant RVD, as "One of a kind" plays through the arena. Mounting the turnbuckle, he points to the Wrestlemania sign in the corner before backflipping back in and resuming the RVD chants.)
JR: As exciting as that was, we have one more to come, ladies and gentlemen.
Tenay: The WWF Title is up for grabs between Scott Hall and Triple H. No Holds Barred.
("Once the best of friends." The Cliq is shown, hands held high, the night before the Outsiders went to WCW. Hall and Triple H are shown hugging. "Now, the worst of enemies." We see Triple H come into the nWo locker room.)
Triple H: Congratulations on the big win, Scott.
Hall: (gripping the title tight to his shoulder) Hunter. Thanks.
Triple H: So, now that you're the man, surely your old friend can get a shot.
Hall: And which friend would that be?
Triple H: Me, Scott. I'm asking you to give me a title match.
Hall: (sneering, he steps closer to whisper) And why in the hell would I do that?
(The image fades to Triple H standing in the ring, mic in hand.)
Triple H: It's good to see that Hall has forgotten the people that made him. He has forgotten those who helped him get where he is today. The Cliq is what made Scott Hall, what put him on the map. He would not have that title today, but for the Cliq.
(Hall's music hits, and he storms out to the stage.)
Hall: Hey yo. Did I hear you right? You think you made me?
Triple H: I think the cliq made you.
Hall: The Outsiders WERE the Cliq. I was a household name before the Cliq ever formed. If the Cliq made anyone, PAUL, it was you. You were nothing but a mascot. You were Shawn's little buddy, following us around like a puppy. The Cliq was Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, Shawn Michaels, and that other kid.
Triple I was far more...
Hall: You were nothing! You were a joke that Shawn felt sorry for, and let hang out with us. THe Cliq put YOU on the map, Paul. The rest of us were already huge. No one would even know who you are if we hadn't turned the blue blood into the game.
Triple H: And yet, I'm the man who made WWF.
Hall: Oh please. You didn't matter until you screwed your way into the title picture. We made the business, you ran it into the ground. And you're just mad because Ted Turner said you were a waste of money. We were wanted, you weren't.
(We see HHH facing off against Steiner and Hart.)
JR: After a month of trying, Hunter got Hall to give him a shot if he wins this match.
Tenay: But he's against the best in the business on technical skill. And two of them at that. Odds look less than promising.
(The two men dismantle HHH, but he slowly starts to make a come back. Hall jumps up from the announcer's table as HHH goes for the Pedigree, and uses a cattle prod to stun him. Steiner Pump Handle Slams him and chokes him out with the Steiner Recliner.)
JR: Damn Hall. This was a set up the whole time.
Tenay: One would expect that the Cerebral Assassin would've seen this coming.
(Hall raises Hart and Steiner's hands over the body of HHH. We cut to Hall backstage giving an interview, when HHH slams the sledgehammer into his gut, then breaks it over his back as he falls. Stone Cold and HBK join in on a three on one beatdown.)
Triple H: You like being triple teamed, Scott? You like being kicked while you're down?
(There's another recap of the Elite vs nWo match, but this package focuses on Hall destroying HHH on the outside as Steiner gets the win, running him into the stairs and suplexing him through the announcers table. All three men raise their hands. We see Hall's celebration on Raw get cut short by HHH.)
Triple H: You got the victory last night, but YOU did not beat ME.
Hall: Accept that you lost, PAUL. You got another shot you didn't deserve, and you wasted it. But at least you didn't have to have sex with me to get it like you did good ol' Vincey boy.
(Legends Rise begins playing as we see the feud escalate. The Elite attack Hall in the locker room, smashing his leg in the door. Hall spraypaints HHH's face after a match and beats him with his own sledgehammer. HHH jumps over the barracade before Hall's match and Pedigrees him on the stairs, letting the other man pin him.)
Triple H: For all his talk about me being a nobody, Scott is doing everything in his power to dodge me, to hide, to run. Because Scott Hall is scared. He knows I;m the better man. And, if he faces me for the title, that I will be champion, not him.
Hall: Just like years ago, Paul is trying to ride my coattails and make himself big because of me. It really didn't work the first time, and it won't work now. He wasn't good enough for WCW. He wasn't the guy anyone went to to be the man until there was no one else, and Stephy went to bat for him. And he's not good enough today.
(Hunter Pedigrees Hall through a table. Hall assaults HHH getting out of his car and slams the door on him repeatedly. Hall gets all of the Elite's finishers. HHH gets jacknifed off the stage. The two men brawl in the ring, in the back, in the parking lot. )
Hall: This match isn't about keeping my title. This is about hurting Paul. Breaking him, showing him he was never in my league. It's not enough to pin Paul. I want to see him bleed. I want to hear him cry in pain. I want to see him try to stand and realize he can't.
Triple H: I want to wipe the smug ass smile off his face, with my sledgehammer.
Foley: If you two want to kill each other so bad, I'll let you do it. The match is a Street Fight, with all of your little friends banned from ringside. No countouts, no disqualifications, no rope break. No rules at all. You two beat the hell out of each other until only one is left standing.
Hall: A game with no rules isn't much of a game at all.
Triple H: Witty, we'll see if you're still so funny after I bash in all your teeth at the Rumble.
(We see both men staring each other down as Hall raises the belt.)
(We cut back to the ring, where "Hey yoooooo" blares, desolving into the nWo's theme song. Scott Hall comes prancing out in his signature style, holding the belt in front of him and a spray can behind him in the black and white filter. As he reaches the top of the ramp, he throws his arms wide.)
JR: It is almost unheard of that the champ comes out first.
Tenay: This is a statement by Hall. He always leads. He is always first. Triple H can only hope to follow him. There is nowhere Triple H has gone that Hall hasn't be first.
JR: Even the entrance is a slap in the face, then.
Tenay: These two men have sought to destroy each other, one up each other for six weeks. Whether it's verbal, physical, vandalism, or symbolic, they have devoted every waking moment to degrading and dismissing the other.
(Getting into the ring, Hall drops both items and pumps himself up before throwing his arms wide again. Picking the belt up again, he raises it high.)
Hall: "I entered first as the champ, I'll leave first as the champ. Paul will enter last and leave first, both times as a chump"
JR: Classy.
Tenay: Neither of these men has claimed they want to be the bigger man, just the better. This has been a race to the bottom as they each try to take a slightly lower road that the last.
(The lights go down, and all spotlights hit the stage. "Behold the King. The king of Kings. On your knees dog." A massive throne raises from the stage, HHH wearing a regal cape and wicked looking crown. He holds his sledgehammer as a scepter.)
JR: First Scott Steiner is a Mad Max Knight, and now Triple H is a raider king.
Tenay: He said tonight was a coronation, the crowning of a new king. Apparently, he has decided to come dressed for the occasion. Speaking it into power as the religious would say.
(Tossing off the massive viking robes, he stalks to the ring, sledge in hand.)
JR: Both men are all business. This will be a war.
Tenay: You're going to see a classic tonight.
(HHH gets in the ring, but before the ref can start, Hall flicks his toothpick into HHH's face. Holding his eye, HHH spins and seethes, holding his eye and snarling.)
Tenay: This is not just about winning. This about humiliating the other man, totally defeating him. Both men have stated they want more than just a W tonight. They want undisputed, complete domination of their opponent.
Jr: That may have been a poor choice on how to start the match. Triple H is fuming.
(HHH swings with his hammer, but Hall has dived out of the ring. He taps his head, showing the crowd how much smarter he is than HHH.)
Tenay: Disrespect upon disrespect.
JR: Unfortunately for Hall, if he was actually smarter than Triple H, he'd probably have kept trach of where Hunter is.
(Hunter spins Hall around and slams the hammer into his gut, just as the bell rings.)
JR: And Triple H starts the match by ringing Hall's bell.
Tenay: You've been waiting all night for that one haven't you.
JR: All month actually.
(HHH hits Hall several times, then facebusters him on his knee before grabbing him and Russian leg sweeps him into the stairs. As Hall writhes in pain, HHH hits a running knee into his head, bouncing it off the steel stairs.)
Tenay: We knew this match was going to be physical. But Hunter is taking the fight to Hall immediately. We're starting at "dear God, why would you do that to someone?" I can only imagine where it will go from here.
(Taunting him, HHH backs up and runs at Hall with the hammer, but Hall ducks and backdrops HHH onto the ridges of the stairs. As HHH arches in agony, Hall climbs to the apron and drops an elbow onto Hunter, compounding the pain and flipping him off the stairs. )
JR: Matches like this tend to get worse and worse. And these two men have horrible intentions for each other.
(Hall reaches into his boot and pulls out a set of brass knucks. HE pulls up HHH and locks him in the abdominal stretch.)
Tenay: Not exactly where I thought that would go once he pulled out the brass knockles.
(Once he has the hold on, Hall starts hammering away at HHH's exposed ribs. Bruises immediately start forming from the onslaught.)
JR: This unique offense is exactly what we would expect from this rivalry. These two men have stayed up nights thinking of new ways to hurt each other, to break each other. And we're seeing the opening stages of that.
Tenay: He could break ribs this way, injure organs. Take away a man's core and you limit his ability to move. Without a strong back and stomach, you can't lift your opponent.
(The ref asks HHH if he's done, if he'll tap, but HHH screams no. Reaching back, he grabs Hall's crotch and twists. Hall howls and lets go.)
Tenay: That's nasty, JR, but it's all legal in this match.
JR: Desparate times call for desparate measures. And it doesn't get much worse than what Hunter was in. He had to do something just to stay alive.
(HHH rushes Hall and runs him back first into the ring post. He reaches under the ring and grabs a chair, using it to flatten Hall's head against the post. As he collapses, HHH slams the chair against his back until it bends.)
JR: Good lord, the human body isn't meant to sustain that kind of damage.
Tenay: And we're just getting started, JR. It's going to get way worse.
(Setting the chair up, he drop toe holds Hall into the chair. He lifts him for a half spinebuster before they both collapse onto the chair, breaking it.)
JR: Human flesh loses to cold hard steel once again.
Tenay: But you have to wonder who got hurt more. Hunter's back gave out on him half way through. He's clutching at himself more than Hall.
JR: I think that's because Hall is in shock.
(After several seconds, HHH rolls over and covers Hall, but he kicks out at two.)
Tenay: Had Triple H not been too injured to make the cover immediately, this might be over.
JR: Even with the time to recover, he barely kicked out.
(Hall crawls away, sliding off his gold chain and wrapping it around his fist. HHH tries to pull him back, but Hall spins and clocks him, dropping him. Struggling to his feet, he lets the chain dangle and starts whipping HHH across the chest, then, when he rolls over, his back.)
Tenay: Triple H fancies himself a king, but Hall is treating him like a slave.
(Placing his knees in HHH's spine, he wraps the chain around his neck, and creates a hardcore version of the Mexican Surfboard.)
JR: That is diabolical.
Tenay: He said he wanted to beat Triple H like he's never been beat before. He told "Paul" that he had never faced a champion like him before, and that he had never had a fight like his before. He is proving that now.
(After a minute or so of diminishing struggles, the ref raises Triple H's hand and drops it. After the second time, as the ref goes for the third, Hall drops the chain.)
JR: What is he doing?
Tenay: Apparently, he doesn't feel he has made the point yet.
(Hall drags HHH over to the stairs and places him face down. Climbing to the stairs, he prepares for another assault.)
JR: This isn't necessary. He's down, defeated.
Tenay: This is about proving once and for all Triple H isn't his equal. Winning isn't enough.
(He climbs up to the second rope, and gives HHH the DX crotch chop.)
Tenay: It's not enough I guess. He has to cripple him, break him completely.
JR: Don't do it Scott. You can end this without this.
(He jumps off for a stomp, but HHH moves at the last second. Hall's leg crumples and he falls to the ground screaming.)
Tenay: High risk, no reward.
JR: Serves him right. He could've ended this by now. He chose to try and end Hunter, and it backfired on him, big time.
(HHH manages to grab Hall and delivers a knee breaker onto the stairs before suplexing him backwards into the barracade. Both men lay in a lifeless heap.)
Tenay: These two men are so intent on hurting each other that they may end their own careers in the process.
JR: It's already starting to look like the Tales From the Crypt episode where the two gunfighters play chop poker.
Tenay: I've never seen that.
JR: It ends ugly.
(HHH grabs a chair and puts Hall's leg through it, closing it around his ankle. He starts stomping it. Then, he grabs his hammer and starts smashing it.)
JR: There goes the ankle. Chop. One limb down.
Tenay: Take out the leg and there's no offense. Ugly, but effective.
(Holding his ribs, HHH falters. He climbs to the apron as Hall tries to crawl away. Following him around, HHH watches Hall drag a metal crowd barrier out and knock it over trying to get up. Letting Hall right himself, HHH dives at Hall, but is caught.)
JR: I can't believe that he was able to do that. He's barely able to stand.
Tenay: He's being fueled sheerly by spite. Hall simply cares more about hurting Hunter than his own well being. If it was anyone else, he couldn't do this.
(Limping away, Hall faces away from the barrier, and uses all his strength to Fallaway Slam HHH right onto the metal barrier. He rolls over for the pin.)
JR: Good lord, that has to be it. That's worse than anything we saw in the Hardcore Title match.
(HHH barely kicks out almost as the three count huts.)
Tenay: That could not have been any closer.
JR: The heart of these two men is amazing.
Tenay: It's not heart, JR. Get it right. It's hate.
(HHH starts to crawl beneath the ring, but Hall pulls him back. As he's dragged out, Hunter has a wrench, which he slams into Hall's knee staggering him. As Hall tries to escape, HHH dives at his knee, driving all his weight into it, and then slingshots him into the ring post.)
JR: At this rate we're not going to have a winner tonight. We're going to have two losers taken out on stretchers.
Tenay: You underestimate how fueled these men are by anger, JR. The spite will flow through their veins, even if the blood stops.
(The cerebral assassin breaks the stairs apart, following Hall as he flees. As he makes his way to the table, HHH slams the stairs into his face, knocking him senseless onto the table.)
JR: We're reaching the climax I think.
Tenay: Hunter wants to put an exclamation point on the victory.
(He climbs up and prepares to AA spinebuster him through the table, but Hall fights back, and locks HHH in a guillotine, legs wrapped around his waist.)
Tenay: JR, evertime one man seems to have it in hand, the other pulls out the reserves and turns it around.
JR: This has been the entire feud. No obvious leader. Just back and forth. Back and forth.
(HHH tries to punch his way out, but is only hitting the table, getting weaker with each hit. Hall releases the hold and drops off the table, arms raised in victory.)
JR: What is he doing?
Tenay: I think he thinks Hunter tapped.
(Hall grabs the belt and starts to walk away when the ref grabs it back and has to explain that HHH never tapped. As they argue, HHH slides up and low blows Hall again. While he's staggered, he chop blocks his leg.)
JR: Hunter's going hard after his manhood.
Tenay: Well, it's part of the dynamic. Ruin the manhood, you ruin the man.
(HHH drags Hall over to the bottom half of the stairs and Pedigrees him on them. There's a cover. The fans start a Holy crapchant. )
JR: If you did this to a death row inmate, it would be considered cruel and unusual punishment.
(Hall kicks out at 2 15/16.)
Tenay: It would also put the average man down.
(Frustrated, HHH pulls Hall to the apron. Looking at the table he starts to lift Hall in a suplex.)
JR: Oh god. This is getting insane.
Tenay: Nothing else is putting him down. He;s going for the final blow.
(As HHH goes for the suplex, Hall fights back, forcing HHH to drop it. They brawl briefly on the apron, then Hall catches HHH in a Fallaway Slam off the apron through the announce table. The fans start chanting, this is awesome.)
JR: This is indeed awesome. This is brutality, yes, but it is grit. It is determination. It is everything that makes the title worth possessing.
Tenay: You see violence. Others see courage, and strength , and beauty.
(Hall crawls to the cover, but, somehow, HHH kicks out.)
JR: You are kidding me. How? HOW?
Tenay: This matters more to these two men than anything else in the world.
(Falling to his knees, Hall beseeches the ref, holding up three fingers. The ref shoots him down, telling him two.)
Tenay: Right now, Hall is wondering what it is going to take.
JR: Hall? EVERYONE is wondering what will put Triple H down.
(In frustration, Hall pulls up HHH, but, somehow, he starts fighting back. Hall retreats, with a woozy HH staggering after him. He slides in the ring, and quickly exits when HHH follows. He heads up the ramp with HHH staggering after him.)
JR: Something bad is coming.
(When they get to the top of the ramp, Hall turns and uses the spraypaint he picked up in Hunter's eyes. As HHH stumbles, blinded, Hall kicks him in the balls and pushes a speaker off the stage. HE pulls HHH in and signals for the Outsider's Edge.)
JR: Oh God, not this.
Tenay: It...nothing else has worked. He is pulling out the final trick.
(Hall tosses HHH off the stage right onto the speaker, which sparks like crazy.)
JR: He just electrocuted the Game.
Tenay: I...I don't know what we just saw.
(Hall covers for the three. The ref raises his hand.)
JR: Scott Hall has just won one of the most brutal battles we have ever seen. He is the WWF Champion still.
Tenay: This is, by far, one of the most vicious, most sadistic title matches we have ever seen.
JR: It was everything we expected and more.
Tenay: Hall has done it. In the biggest match of the year so far, Scott Hall has retained the WWF Title.
(Hall pauses at the base of the ramp to celebrate, raising the title the ref has given him. But before he can enjoy it too much, Michaels has jumped the barrier and delivered sweet Chin Music. Draping Hall's Belt above his chest, HBK poses above Hall with the WCW belt held high.)
JR: Ladies and gentlemen, if teh slobberknocker you just saw wasn't enough, the WCW champion has just laid out the WWF champion!
Tenay: I cant wait to see what this means come Raw, JR.
(We fade to black with HBK standing over Hall.)
Wrestlemania, showcase of the immortals. Headlining the most prestigrous show of the year forever etches ones name in wrestling history. Main eventing a night of memories is the dream of every single athlete to step in the ring. That honor is decided tonight, as the Road to Wrestlemania begins. 40 men enter the ring to determine who is to head to the grandest of all stages, and compete for the World Title of their choice. That honor...
40 voices: Belongs to me.
(Godsmack: When Legends Rise begins playing as flashes of each superstar fill the screen.)
Hogan: Tonight, the nWo finishes its takeover. We hold both titles and after tonight, it'll be an all nWo main event when we sweep the Rumble.
Flair: There's no way in hell I'll let that happen. I may not be in the ring tonight, but Sting, Booker T, and Cactus Jack will die before any member of the nWo wins the Rumble.
Edge: Tonight, I will be the first man ever to step in at Number one and win the prize. And it will be in the biggest Rumble in history. The Royale Rumble will be Rated R.
Orton: Tonight is about the youngbloods, as I Unify the Intercontinental and United States titles, while Batista wins the Rumble, and Ken Kennedy works his way into the X Division Championship.
RVD: Tonight, Rob Van Dam will win the Whole Damn Rumble.
Raven: Come hell or high water, the Flock will do what it always does, destroy everyone in our way to get what we want.
Stone Cold: Tonight's all about the Elite. We're gonna stomp a mudhole in the nWo and walk it dry. We're coming home with both belts and the Rumble victory. Austin 3:16 says Stone Cold is gonna whoop everyone's ass in the Rumble.
"It's burning hot. It's burning high. When ashes fall and legends rise. "
Kane: Tonight, the Rumble goes Hardcore. Blood will be spilled, bodies will be broken and weeping will be guaranteed. I will do whatever I have to to keep this Hardcore Belt around my waist and out of the hands of the Flock.
Hall: It doesn't matter who wins the Rumble. Tonight, Hunter and I go to hell. No disqualification for the WWF Championship. Falls count anywhere. Tonight, the bad guy plays the Game for the last time.
(Flashes of HHH and Scott Hall beating the hell out of each other. Hunter Pedigrees Hall on the ramp. Hall Outsiders Edges HHH into the wall backstage. HHH hits Hall with the Sledgehammer. Hall spraypaints HHH at the contract signing.)
HHH: Tonight I will show why the cerebral assassin is the greatest man to ever step in the ring when I destroy Scott Hall and end his career. Scott will be sliced on the Razor's Edge and Triple H will go to Wrestlemania as the WWF champion.
Steiner: It doesn't matter how many shows you've stopped Shawn. Tonight, the Heartbreak Kid will have his back broken. Let's see how well you shimmy in a wheelchair you son of a bitch.
(Flashes of Michaels superkicking Steiner off the stage. Steiner suplexes Michaels onto the ring steps. Michaels does the leap of faith off the titantron onto Steiner. Steiner Frankensteiners HBK off the top rope through a table, followed up by pummeling him with brass knuckles.)
Michaels: Steiner and I have been at each other's throats for months. Tonight, I end his dreams. I go home with the belt and he goes to the hospital. He will be the latest show I stop.
The Road to Wrestlemania begins tonight.
We cut to the arena, as the pyros go off. Mick Foley is already in the ring.
Commissioner Mick: Tonight, the Road to Wrestlemania begins. And we have a hell of lineup to start off the grandest leadup to the Showcase of Immortals ever. We have two main event title matches, which are guaranteed to rival whatever occurs at Mania, as the Heartbreak Kid takes on the Master of Suplexes, Scott Steiner and Triple H and Scott Hall meet in a no disqualification match, with all outside interference banned. Rhyno takes on Randy Orton in a title Unification match, and Shark Boy defends his X Division title in a unique take on the rumble. And the Rumble itself is the largest we have ever had. But, as is often the case, in setting up such a momentous event, sometimes things slip through the cracks. Tonight, we have overlooked one of our greatest stars.
(Rey Mysterio's music hits, and he explodes up from the stage, coming to meet Mick in the ring.)
Mick: I apologize for the oversight Rey. You are truly one of our greatest stars. I cannot imagine the biggest Royale Rumble ever without you. Tonight, since you have one of the greatest feuds of all time, spanning 5 continents, I can think of no better way to start off the Road to Wrestlemania than by reigniting this rivalry after a decade. Tonight, ladies and gentlemen, our opening match is Rey Mysterio.....vs....Psychosis!
(Psychosis' music hits and he saunters to the ring. After a brief stare down, he extends his hand, and Rey takes it.)
JR: This starts with a show of respect. These two men have faced off literally hundreds of times. Every single match has been a classic.
Taney: I can think of no better way to start of this show. We are in for a true treat.
( The bell rings, and the two men square off. For several minutes, every single move one does is countered by the other. Hurricanranas are tossed off. Hip tosses lead to full flips, landing on their feet. Dodges and reversals are the name of the game. After 5 minutes, both men pause. A momentary tension leads to a brief smirk and nod by Psychosis before he extends the hand again.)
Taney: These two men know each other so well. They have literally grown up together, and have faced off in hundreds of countries. Each man knows the other's moves as well as he knows his own.
(When Rey takes Psychosis' hand, he pulls him into a knee into the gut. Taking advantage of the loss of breath, he whips Rey into the corner, and then clotheslines him down.Picking him up, he throws Rey with a full flip german suplex, landing him on his stomach.)
JR: It's not pretty, and it's not what you want to see in a match like this, but, unfortunately, it's going to have to be surprises like that that let either man get an edge.
(Psychosis takes advantage, following up with several brutal moves. Doing a running turnbucklebomb, he flows into a vicious brainbuster and then locks Rey in a rear naked choke, demanding the ref call the submission. Rey however, refuses to tap and manages to reach the ropes. As Rey is released, he tries to use the ropes to pull himself up, but Psychosis quickly wraps Rey in the ropes, and uses the five count to wear him down. As Rey pulls himself free, Psychosis executes a nasty kneebreaker into another flip suplex.)
Taney: Like it or hate it JR, keeping Rey off his feet and taking away his ability to execute those high flying moves is good strategy.
JR: This is a different game than we normally see from Psychosis. Normally, he's as high flying and risk taking as Mysterio.
Taney: But that's exactly what Rey expects. By taking himself out of his normal game, he has been able to gain the early advantage.
(When Rey kicks out, Psychosis pulls him into a verticle suplex then faceplants him over the ropes onto the apron. Rey tries to pull himself up, but Psychosis drop kicks him off the apron. Playing to the crowd, Psychosis finally sees Rey is on his feet and goes for a suicide dive. This time however, Rey meets him with a spinning kick to the face.)
JR: Apparently Psychosis isn't the only one who came prepared to change up his game. We've never seen that move out of Rey before.
Taney: And it's a game changer. Despite taking all the punishment so far, Rey is now more in it than Psychosis.
(After doing a few moves on the downed Psychosis, Rey mounts the steps for a crossbody. However, Psychosis catches him and runs him into the ring post. He picks him up and rolls him into the ring.)
JR: And just like that, the comeback is over.
(Psychosis goes for a powerbomb, but Rey reverses it into a hurricanrana tossing Psychosis into the ropes. After a quick breath, he hits the 619. While he is waiting for Psychosis to get up, Kaiodai members Akio and Sakoda hop over the barracade and attack Rey, pulling him off the apron. Sakoda slides into the ring and makes quick work of Psychosis. Motioning for Akio to toss Rey in, Sakoda slams him to the mat with the YinDrop to let his partner hit the Yang time.
JR: Not like this damnit. This isn't how this is supposed to end.
Taney: There is a certain poetry to this. We are left without a clear winner or loser. Rey and Psychosis stand on equal ground.
(Akio and Sakoda pose proudly over their victims.)
(Backstage, the Sandman is tossing back a beer, talking to a female interviewer, when Finley comes up out of nowhere and attacks him. After several interesting uses of the scenery to assault Sandman, he hits the Celtic Cross on the concrete and leaves him in a broken heap.)
(When we come back to the ring, Chris Benoit is already in it, his theme song playing as he flips off the booing crowd. Sylvester Turkay's music hits and he starts to make his way to the ring. Before he can get there, the World's Greatest Tag Team Ambushes him. The two men procede to pummel him, knowing the bell hasn't rung. After several minutes of assault, they roll him into the ring. Benoit demands the ref call for the bell and goes for the cover.)
Taney: We may see the quickest victory in Royale Rumble history right here.
JR: What a despicible tactic.
Taney: Are you surprised, JR? Team Angle has made it clear that their goal is to destroy this man for "his disrespect" to their founder.
JR: I know, I know. They've done every underhanded thing in the book. I shouldn't be shocked, but damnit, that doesn't mean I have to like it.
(Turkay kicks out at two, to the shock of all three men. After complaining to the ref, Benoit locks in the crossface.)
Tenay: I'm impressed he kicked out, but this has to be it.
JR: Damnit, Turkay, fight! Beat these cheating bastards.
(As if hearing JR, Turkay makes it to the ropes. Benoit is livid and calls WGTT to the ring. As the ref warns that they will be disqualified, they lift Turkat up. Before Benoit can do anything, Elijah Burke runs to the ring and suplexes Haas out of the ring. Benjamin tries to intervene, but Turkay catches him for a side overhead suplex. )
JR: The odds have been evened!
(Benoit starts assaulting Burke, but leaves himself open to Turkay, who catches him in his own endless german suplexes. While Turkay handles Benoit, Burke hits the EB express double knee slam into Benamin in the corner barracade. Hass tries to intervene, only to be given a nasty suplex into the stairs for his trouble. Turkay finally drops Benoit, only to lock in a nasty submission move. Though Benoit holds out for a few seconds, he quickly taps, as he is nowhere near the ropes.)
JR: I can't say that's the match we were hoping for. But damned if I don't like the result.
Taney: Benoit got outside forces involved and it hurt him badly. Burke's interference made the difference, and it wouldn't have been allowed, but for Benjamin and Haas getting involved.
JR: Serves them right!
(Burke slides into the ring to raise Turkay's hand as WGTT help Benoit limp to the back, issuing threats the whole time.)
(Backstage, A-Train and Raven are seen confronting the Commissioner in the hall.)
Raven: Damnit, Foley, what are you going to do about Finley attacking Sandman tonight?
Foley: Write a strongly worded letter?
Raven: Do you think this is funny?
Foley: Well, as JR so often reminds us, 'this ain't ballet'. How many people has the Flock attacked backstage again?
Raven: Not the point! Damnit! I want Finley!
Foley: (shrugging) I have no issues with that. Tomorrow night on Raw, you got him. I tell you what, since he likes to brawl, we'll make it a falls count anywhere match.
Raven: I.....well, that actually works...But what are you going to do about our hardcore title shot? The Flock deserves that belt!
Foley: I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that you're about to suggest that I just let the Flock replace him with someone else? And....since you have A-Train here, I'm going to assume he's the replacement. Somehow, I doubt Kane will object. So, we'll make that change as well.
Raven: You better....oh. Well...that's right Foley. At least you know what's good for you.
(Raven storms off, and A-Train remains behind trying to menace the Commissioner. Foley reaches into his pocket.)
Foley: Tic tac? (A-Train glares and growls.) Are you sure? You kinda need it.
(3D's music hits as we transfer back out to the ring.)
Announcer: The following match is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the Tag Team Championship. Introducing first, the challengers: The Dudleyz, Team 3D.
Before the Dudleys can get to the ring, the Gymini Brothers run down and attack them on the ramp. The two men focus on D-Von, ramming him into the ring post before throwing him in the ring. As they enter, they demand the ref call for the bell, and go for a pin.
JR: You're kidding, after everything...
Tenay: And the Gymini are still wearing the Road Warrior's famous shoulder pads that they took from Animal at Armaggeddon when they won the belts.
JR: No one has seen either of the Road Warriors since that vicious two on one handicapped match. Animal is not a small man, but they picked him apart for ten minutes. He barely landed a blow.
Tenay: And of course it was a handicapped match because Hawk was brutally attacked backstage two weeks before their match. Then, Road Warrior Heidenreich lost a match and was banned from ringside.
(Before the ref can count two, D-Von has kicked out.)
Tenay: The Dudleyz aren't dead yet. But one has to wonder how much this sneak attack took out of them. Kicking out of the first pin doesn't mean they can go the long haul.
JR: The Dudleyz made this challenge after how these men treated a legend. They may come to regret that.
(For several minutes, the Gymini ruthlessly attack D-Von, tagging in and out and delivering vicious moves to him. After several minutes Bubba makes his way back to the apron. The Gymini work well in keeping D-Von from his corner. No matter how hard he tries to get back, the two continue to mercilessly divide him from his partner.)
Tenay: It doesn't matter if you like or you hate the Gymini, there has never been anyone better in wrestling in separating a man from his partner and picking him apart.
JR: It was almost four months before we ever saw a single man get a tag in against these men. Their first 30 or so matches were essentially 2 on 1, they were so good at the tag team game.
Tenay: It's easy to destroy a single man. But, even now that Bubba Ray Dudley is back in the game, the Gymini have, essentially, kept this a two on one match,
(Finally, after several minutes of back and forth, Jake makes a mistake, allowing D-Von to hit the Testify Bomb and drop both men to the canvas. The crowd goes wild encouraging D-Von to tag in his partner, as both men crawl to their corners. D-Von makes the tag a second before Jesse does.)
JR: And business, as they say, has just picked up.
(Bubba dives into the ropes and clotheslines Jake before knocking Jesse off the apron. He delivers a bunch of punches before giving him a power slam. Seeing D-Von on the apron. HE gestures for the Wassup. As D-Von slowly climbs the turnbuckle, Jesse pushes him off into the barricade.)
Tenay: It doesn't seem to matter what the Dudleyz do, the Gymini are always a step ahead.
JR: Had it not been for that vicious pre-match assault, D-Von would've hit that move.
Tenay: That's possible. But we're dealing with the reality, where the Gymini have Bubba two on one.
(As Jesse crawls into the ring, Bubba pummels him. Jake attacks him from behind, and pulls him up, only to receive a surprise Bubba Cutter.)
JR: That was out of nowhere!
(Before Bubba can get a pinfall, Jesse breaks it up. He tries to get offense in, only to get a Bubba bomb. As he rolls out of the ring, Bubba tries to pick Jake up, only to get a thumb in the eye, which the ref doesn't see. Before he can capitalize, D-Von dives over the ropes and takes him out. The two roll out of the ring brawling. As Bubba is distracted, Jesse slides in behind him. As Bubba turns around, he gets the Warrior's shoulder pads to the face.Tossing it out before the ref sees, Jesse goes for the pin.)
Tenay: Not this way.
(D'von rolls in to break up the pin. Jake slides in behind him as the two trade blows. As D-Von goes for another testify bomb, Jake hits him with a diving clothesline, and throws him out. The Gymini pick up a stunned Bubba and hit the Cross Trainer. A quick 3 count follows . They grab their shoulder pads and hold their belts over Bubba's prone body.)
JR: You can't take anything away from the Dudleyz. They did their damnedest, but are the latest victims of the Gymini.
Tenay: And we'll never know if they would've pulled it out, because of the sneak attack to start the match.
JR: But now, ladies and gentlemen (he puts his hand to his ear)...wait a minute, I've just been informed that the Hardcore Title match scheduled for later tonight has already begun backstage.
(The camera cuts to the back, where A-Train and Kane are already trading punches. Kane grabs Train by the throat, but he quickly jerks Kane's mask down over his eyes. While he tries to fix it, Train grabs him by the hair and rams him face first into the wall. Taking a step back, he delivers a vicious Axe kick to the back of Kane's head, making a sick thud against the concrete. As Kane crumples, Train goes for a pin.)
Tenay: This is, of course, all legal with the hardcore title. No rules, anything goes, falls count anywhere.
(The ref begins to count, but Kane kicks out at two.)
JR: No one is exactly sure what happened. But the commotion drew the attention of other wrestlers about 5 minutes ago. They got officials, and the camera crew just got back there. It was decided to simply start the match then and there.
Tenay: Isn't this just like the Flock to sneak attack and try and steal a victory.
JR: I won't disagree, but we don't actually know who started it. For all we know, A-Train went to try and get into Kane's head and Kane started throwing real jabs to Train's verbal ones.
Tenay: Given the Flock's history, I'd say it's more likely that A-Train tried to get the jump on his opponent and it backfired.
(Reaching up, Train grabs a stack of crates and pulls them down on Kane. Pulling a loose plank out, he wields it like a club and starts hitting Kane.After several blows, he throws it down on Kane. Grabbing his leg, he drags him over near the stairs and prepares for a slingshot.)
Tenay: Oh for the love of...I know I said no rules, but that's too much.
JR: Don't do it Train, you may kill him.
(Before A-Train can get both legs, Kane starts kicking him. He pushes him hard backwards, and Train has to catch himself so that he doesn't fly over the rail. He staggers back, only to be caught with a knife edge uppercut to the throat. Holding his neck, he takes a few steps back, allowing Kane to deliver several more as he rises. He drops to one knee, and Kane begins to club his back mercilessly with clotheslines.
JR: A-Train may be having a little bit of buyer's remorse about stepping up to fill Sandman's shoes.
Tenay: Kane is one of our most dominant Hardcore Champions that we've ever had. You don't have six successful title defenses in one night if you're not a bad bad man.
(Kane grabs Train by the throat with both hands and pushes him towards the stairs. Hesitating a second, he instead suplexes him by the throat the other way, his back cracking against the concrete floor. Rather than go for a pin, he drags Train to his feet and whips him into the wall. When Train staggers back, Kane grabs him in a sidewalk slam, and crashes him right through the crates. )
JR: Kane's chiropractic services are effective, for all the wrong reasons. It goes without saying that no one deliberately seeks him out.
Tenay: Unfortunately, he is all too willing to find his own patients, and deliver his services to them. The only upside is that they're free.
JR: Oh, no, Tenay. I'd say A-Train has paid a lot for that service.
Tenay: You never come out of a match with Kane unscathed.
(Train starts trying to crawl away, but Kane grabs his foot and drags him back. Grabbing a chain, Train wraps it around his fist, and when Kane goes to grab him, proceeds punching him. When Kane drops to a knee, Train wraps the chain around his neck and jumps on his back.)
Tenay: Desperation is the mother of invention.
JR: I think it's occurred to A-Train that he doesn't want to keep going toe to toe with Kane. He's bleeding from his back from the slam into the crates. His eye is starting to swell. And Kane doesn't seem slowed at all.
Tenay: Kane's not exactly the type to give up though. If he's trying to get the submission, Kane has never tapped before.
JR: He doesn't have to tap, though Tenay. If he passes out, A-Train wins the same as if he tapped.
(Kane fights through the lack of air, pushing himself to his feet. Grabbing Train's legs, he lunges backwards into the wall, and again. One the grip is loosened, he jumps and puts both of them through a table. As they lay there, the ref begins to count.)
Tenay: No matter what A-Train does, Kane seems to have an answer.
(Train weakly gets a shoulder up right before the third slap of the ref's hand.)
JR: He's down but not out.
Tenay: Though he may wish that he just let the ref end this, the way this is going.
(Crawling out from under Kane's still body, Train reaches into a nearby toolbox and pulls out a hammer. Staggering back to Kane, he grabs his hair and starts to pull back when Kane sits up and grabs his throat for a chokeslam. Train drops the hammer and grabs Kane's arm.)
Tenay: Vintage Kane.
JR: A-Train had some bad intentions, but from the look on his face, he sees Kane has some bad intentions too. And the fear in Train's eyes says it all.
(Before Kane can fully get to his feet and deliver the deathblow, A-Train kicks him in the groin. As Kane doubles over, Train lurches away gasping heading for the stage. As Kane follows, Train grabs a chair and slams it over his head. All this does is anger Kane, who starts chasing him. Train pauses again twice to hit Kane with the chair as he retreats. On the third time, Kane big boots the chair into his face, sending him flying through the curtain. )
JR: And, after all this time, the two men finally make their way into the arena.
(Kane pulls Train into a powerbomb position. Doing the trademark throat cut motion, he lifts him into a drop down powerbomb, right onto the ramp. As the fans chant Holy shit, he pulls him up and launches him off the side of the ramp, right into the barracade. )
Tenay: Good lord, did you hear the sound that made JR?
JR: Human flesh loses to cold steel everytime. Between the unforgiving ramp, and the unmoving barracade, I'm not certain which is worse.
Tenay: Ladies and gentlemen, I hope that if you have children watching, you have sent them out of the room. This is not fit for young eyes.
(Kane hops down from the ramp, lifts the man onto his shoulder and starts carrying him to the ring. When he gets to the end of the ramp, he runs and launches A-Train face first into the ring post. Without giving him a second to breathe, he quickly flips him into an Alley Oop right onto the ring steps. )
JR: The human body is not meant to withstand such treatment. Come on Kane, that's enough. You're going to put this man in the hospital.
Tenay: Right or wrong, JR, this is what these men sign up for when they ask for a shot at the Hardcore Title.
JR: Not to this level Tenay.
(Kane goes for a pin, but A-Train kicks out at 2.)
JR: Stay down, Train. Just stay down. It's not worth it.
Tenay: I'm impressed A-Train still has the capacity to kick out after all that. As you can see on the screen, the sound that first alerted people to the fight was when Kane put A-Train through the locker room door.
(As Train tries to pull himself to his feet, Kane lifts the top half of the stairs. He runs at Train, but, at the last second, Train drop kicks his knee, and Kane drops face first onto the stairs he was carrying. Grabbing a nearby chair, Train proceeds to repeatedly crash the chair against Kane's head, driving him face first into the stairs. Pulling him out, he sets him against the railing, props the stairs in front of him, and delivers a running Axe kick into the metal. This only nets him a 2 count on the pin.)
Tenay: The fans are saying it for us. "Holy S" indeed.
JR: How do you kick out of something like that? Kane is not human.
(Train complains in disbelief to the ref. Pulling a table out from under the ring, he sets it up. Grabbing the Big Red Machine's legs, he positions him under the table. Taunting him with the throat cut, he whips him up into the bottom of the table. When it doesn't break, he does it again. The third time is enough, as Kane crashes up through the wood.)
JR: OH MY GOD. That's the move he normally does on the bottom rope...the train wreck.
Tenay: As unpleasant as being put through a table is, Kane just went through the metal supports before the wood, increasing the risk of injury.
(Again with the cover. This time Kane kicks out an inch before the third count. Train falls off of him in total shock.)
Tenay: He has to be wondering at this point just what he has to do to keep Kane down.
(Rolling Kane onto the apron. Train delivers a series of elbows to the chest and neck. After a running high knee to the back of Kane's head, he removes the padding by his opponent and hops up to the apron himself. He lifts Kane up for something...but we never get to find out what because Kane grabs him without warning and chokeslams him off the apron to the floor below.)
JR: He might've just broken his spine on that one.
Tenay: That backfired in a big way.
(Kane drops to the floor and grabs a chair, tossing it into the ring. A- Train is sent rolling in after it. Finally, Kane walks over and grabs the ring crew's camera. Sliding into the ring, he waits for Train to make his way to his feet.)
JR: Oh, come on, Kane. You could've finished this already. Enough.
Tenay: I think he's determined to send a message. To the Flock, and maybe to the whole roster.
(Once Train gets to his feet, Kane smashes the camera over his head. Taking the cord, he wraps it around Train's neck and begins strangling him, placing his foot in his back and arching backwards to completely cut off the air. Within moments, Train is limp. The ref raises his hand.)
JR: Brutal as it was, this one is over, ladies and gentlemen. A-Train has been retired in the station.
(Before the ref can drop the hand the third time, Kane releases the cord and lets Train fall limp. He walks over to the chair.)
Tenay: Not quite, JR. I think he wants to add the exclamation point to this statement.
(Kane sets the chair up. Dragging Train's limp body over, he picks him up, and delivers a Tombstone Piledriver onto the open chair, which crumples under the move. He pins and the ref counts three.)
JR: Good lord, he just broke A-Train in half.
Tenay: He just showed why he is our Hardcore Champion, and the Flock will likely think twice before they try him again.
JR: I don't like the way he did it, by god. But it was effective.
Tenay: What do you want to bet Sandman is sitting in the hospital right now, grateful that Finley put him out tonight?
JR: Speaking of, we have just received word on Sandman. He has suffered a broken arm and a concussion from Finley's assault tonight. We wish Sandman the best and hope he returns soon.
(Going backstage, we see all the remaining people in the Royale Rumble drawing their numbers. After Hogan pulls his number, he approaches Edge.)
Hogan: Hah. You see that? (silence) I'd love to wish you good luck, but we both know that by the time I get to the ring, you'll be long gone.
Edge: Old timer. Not only will I still be there when you get there, I promise I will eliminate you personally.
(The screen goes to Shark Boy holding up the X Division title.)
Shark Boy: I don't give a damn what anyone says. THIS belt is the reason to be here. It means more than both the world titles combined. So what I'm going to do, is I'm going to do the biggest X Division match up in history. While 40 men fight for the chance to challenge for the belt, we will have ten men challenge FOR the belt. This will be the biggest title match ever.
(Quick flashes of the violent matches for X Division qualification.)
Foley: In honor of Shark Boy's request, we are going to have a unique and fascinating championship match. Since we are at the royale rumble, we will start with two men. Every minute we will add a man. Until all 10 men are in the ring, the match is over the top Royale Rumble style. However, once Shark Boy steps into the ring, as the last competitor, we will go to a single fall match, pin or submission.
(After several flashes of qualifying matches, we cut to Sabin and Shark Boy backstage.)
Sabin: You do this alone, and I promise, you're not walking out of Rumble without the title. Let me in, I'll watch your back.
(As Legends Rise plays, we see clips of the ten stars in this match all hitting high flying moves on each other, culminating in Shark Boy hitting the Deep Sea Drop on Christian before Sabin lifted him into the cradle shock. The two men raise each others arms.)
Shark Boy: I'm the baddest champ we've ever had, and, no matter how many people we have against me, I'm walking out with the title at Rumble.
(The camera cuts to the center of the ring, where Shelton Bejamin and Ken Kennedy are standing.)
Benjamin: Right now, you have the two best men to carry the X Division Title in the ring. And yet, neither of us were even offered a qualifying match to be in contention.
Kennedy: Between the two of us, we have scored 19 victories over the men about the get in this ring tonight. Put bluntly, the two of us should be challenging Shark Boy for the belt with no outside influences. But, I guess Mick Foley can't stand self proclaimed bungholes excelling over his asskissers.. So...
(Foley's music hits and he walks to the stage.)
Foley: Now, if it were up to me, I'd tell you both to do things that are anatomically impossible to yourselves. However, the champ has just informed me that he wants you too included. He won't have you little "whiny women" running around claiming that he's only champ because you were excluded. So...
Kennedy: Now we're talking,Foley. You see..
Foley: You shut the hell up! (fans pop) I agreed that I would include you. But it;s on my terms. You two are the first in the match. Which means we start, now!
(As the fans go crazy, and a ref slides in, Benjamin and Kennedy look at each other. Laughing, they shake hands and face the entrance.)
JR: Damnit, Foley thought he was teaching these two a lesson, and yet they got the better for him.
Tenay: You don't have to like it, JR, but it's a hell of a ring strategy.
(Once the countdown ends, Super Crazy's music hits. He walks down and pauses at the end of the ramp.)
Tenay: What is he doing JR?
JR: What's good for the goose is good for the gander. Crazy is simply waiting until he has better circumstances to go in.
(After a minute, Latino Heat hits, and Chavo comes walking down. He and Crazy hug, and then slide into the ring. While Chavo is intercepted by Kennedy, Benjamin misses an opportunity to stop Crazy. Once he's committed to a sprawl, Crazy pulls him out under the bottome rope and slams him into the stairs before he slides behind and breaks up Kennedy's beat down on Chavo.)
JR: The strategy seemsed pretty sound, until their enemies used the same tactics against them.
tenay: Kennedy and Benjamin planned a two on one. They just didn't realize they'd be on the "one" side.
(As the seconds count down, Tajiri;s music hits, and he runs to the ring. On his way, he gives Benjamin a nasty kick to the head before sliding in. )
JR: The head of Kaiodai has made his presence felt in taking out Benjamin before getting in the ring.
Tenay: Tajiri is one of the most gifted and vicious competitors we have ever seen in this ring. And now that he has Kaiodai behind him, he seems unstoppable. He hasn't lost a match in 8 months.
(Tajiri stops them from eliminating Kennedy. Dodging moves from both, he delivers his signature martial arts style kicks to both. Dodging a clothesline, Tajiri hit a springboard backfist to Crazy. As Chavo broke it up, the countdown ended. Hardy's music hit.)
JR: And here comes matt Hardy, number 6.
(Hardy slides in and starts kicking Tajiri off of his victims. Kennedy tries to pull him off onto to receive a side effect for his trouble. Without thinking, Matt goes for a pin.)
Tenay: Small as it may seem, that kind of mistake can cost a competitor a match.
(Benjamin slides in and begins to club Matt. Tossing him into the ropes, he's floored when Matt ducks a clothesline and delivers a springing crossbody. )
Jr: And, it's almost time for another body in this meat grinder.
(AS he speaks Christian theme hits. He runs to the ring, taking out the various "bad" competitors first. Once the bad guys are down, he tries an "I'm Prettier" on crazy, which he struggles out of.)
JR: We really haven't seen much cooperation in this match.
Tenay: There can be only one, JR. Remember that.
JR: I do, but temporary alliances win matches like this.
(After thirty seconds of brutal fighting, JTG makes his way to the ring. He hits a spinning elbow on both Christian and Benjamin before doing a dive over neckbreaker on Chavo. He and Kennedy start to brawl in the corner. Seeing an opportunity, Hardy picks up Chavo and signals for the twist of fate.)
Tenay: It looks like we're about to see our first elimination.
(Before he can hit it, Tajiri kicks him square in the jaw, sending him stumbling backwards over the top rope to the floor below.)
JR: We did, but not the one we expected. Tajiri draws first blood in the match.
(JTG tries to capitalize on Chavo's weakened state. He picks him up for a move, but Chavo slides behind him. As he turns, Chavo kicks him in the gut and hits a Gory bomb.)
Tenay: JTG took too much for granted on that and has paid the ultimate price.
JR: Does Chavo have enough left to capitalize on it though?
(Slowly, Chavo gets to his feet, dragging JTG to the ropes. Just when it seems like it's too much for him, Crazy runs over and helps him unceremoniously dump JTG to the outside.)
Tenay: There's the teamwork you wanted to see.
JR: I'm sure it's the last thing Cryme Tyme wanted. He just got straightarmed.
(Chris Sabin's music hits. He runs to the ring and begins clotheslining down every competitor hToo Cooe sees.)
Tenay: This is Shark Boy's ally. The man watching his back. He entered himself in this competition simply to make sure Shark Boy could not get overwhelmed and lose the belt due to the odds against him.
JR: In Sabin's words, it is his job to clean house and eliminate the competition before Shark Boy ever comes out.
(Dodging a crossbody from Christian, he dropkicks him. Following this up, he back body drops Chavo right onto Christian. When Kennedy tries to take him out, he catches him in a suplex, right on top of the other two men.)
JR: True to his word, Sabin is cleaning house.
(Benjamin misses a clothesline, only to get a drop kick to the knee. Sabin grabs him, for a DDT on his growing pile. Tajiri stops his momentum with a nasty kick to the gut. As he goes to toss him from the ring, however, Sabin reverses it and sends Tajiri over instead. He catches himself, but turns into a dropkick, sending him to the floor.)
JR: The Rising Sun has just set, courtesy of Chris Sabin.
Tenay: While the other competitors may not like it, Sabin has just taken out a massive threat to Shark Boy's title, and has given him a huge advantage in this match.
(Benjamin starts to pound away on Sabin from behind. When 2 Cool's music hits, and Scotty starts dancing to the ring, he gets distracted. Kennedy grabs him in his signature hold and slams him to the mat.)
Tenay: What the hell? Kennedy just hit the mic check on Benjamin.
JR: I thought these two were allies.
(Quickly lifting him onto his shoulders, Kennedy hits the diving senton, and then uses his momentum to toss Shelton right out of the ring. Even dazed by the two finishers, Shelton stares at him in disbelief from the floor. Kennedy dusts off his hands in exaggerated pleasure.)
JR: Well, this shows there is no honor among thieves.
Tenay: There are also no teams. Kennedy saw his moment and he took it. The two most dangerous competitors have now been eliminated. He saw his moment and he took it.
(Kennedy turns into a barrage of punches from Sabin. He staggers back into the three amigos from Chavo. As Scotty slides into the ring, all of the other competitors signal that it's his turn.)
JR: Well, maybe he should've waited a few more minutes. His betrayal looks like it's about to bite him in the you know what.
(As the fans cheer, Scotty throws his arms wide. Dancing he hops around the ring before doing the Worm and delivering his signature chop to Kennedy's throat. Recoiling from the impact, Kennedy rolls out of the ring.)
JR: Just desserts if you ask me. Live by the backstabbing, die by the backstabbing.
Tenay: BUT, JR, lest the fans at home forget, you can only be eliminated by getting tossed over the TOP rope. Sliding out under the bottom, Kennedy is still in this match.
(Before he can rest, Shelton, recovered, runs up and gives him a quick Dragon Whip, followed by a signature T-Bone suplex on the outside. Refs force Benjamin to the back as Kennedy writhes in pain.)
JR: I cannot think of a single individual on the roster who deserved that more than Ken Kennedy.
Tenay: You questioned whether it was the right moment for Kennedy to eliminate his only ally. It would appear that the answer is "no".
(As the stars go back to brawling, MNM's music hits, and Joey Mercury makes his way down.)
JR: And Joey Mercury is the last competitor. The men now have three minutes to eliminate each other before Shark Boy is set loose and the match becomes about pinfall or submission.
Tenay: Once Shark Boy comes down, it is every man for himself. The fewer men remaining, the better your chances of winning.
(With renewed vigor, the remaining men go all out, hammering on each other, trying to weaken their competitors. Kennedy is still on the outside as Crazy and Chavo double team Scotty. Sabin and Christian square off in the other corner. Crazy goes to the top as Chavo scoop slams Scotty to the floor.)
JR: This is the high risk District.
(Kennedy jumps to the apron, and tries to push Crazy off, but instead gets a kick to the face, sending him back to the floor.)
Tenay: That risk could've cost Super Crazy his shot.
JR: HE has earned his name Mike Tenay. Everything is about risk with this man.
(Crazy moonsaults off the top rope, not only landing on Scotty, but taking out Chavo as well.)
Tenay: He missed his mark! He hit Chavo more than Scotty.
JR: Are you sure? I'm not sure he didn't take an opportunity to eliminate one of his strongest competitors.
(Sure enough, Crazy picks up Chavo and tosses him over the rope before he can recover. Christian runs up behind him and hits the Unprettier as he is distracted. Lifting his limps carcass, Christian eliminates Crazy from the match as well.)
Tenay: Crazy saw his opportunity to eliminate Chavo, but in doing so left his back unguarded.
JR: Well, we got our answer as to whether it was an accident.
Tenay: We did at that. And now, this match has four challengers to the X Division title.
JR: Only a minute remains until the champion comes out.
(With Scotty down, Christian and Sabin start to trade rights. It seems Christian has the better of the battle until Kennedy slides in behind him and clubs both men down. He sets Christian up for the mic check, but Sabin drop kicks him out of it. )
JR: There may be no allies in this match. But it seems like Kennedy has painted a target on himself. Sabin's even willing to stop him from weakening Christian.
(Sabin and Christian toss Kennedy into the corner, lifting him onto the top, both men prepare a superplex. Before they can hit it, Scotty runs over, and gets both men in a reverse suplex. Mercury adds himself to the mix, getting Scotty for a powerbomb, and all the men fly off in a tower of doom.)
Tenay: The fans hit it again. The Holy S chants barely do that justice.
JR: And they couldn't have chosen a worse time to take themselves out, because here comes Shark Boy.
(As tha announcer states the change of rules, Shark Boy dives into the ring. He takes out Mercury, then Scotty. Going back, he dropkicks Mercury. He then crossbodies Christian. As Kennedy gets to his feet, he pummels him into the corner, punching him until he drops, and then delivering boots.)
JR: And Shark Boy comes in like a typhoon, taking out everyone.
Tenay: HE is the fresh man in this competition. Everyone else has been fighting and taking punishment. He has a tremendous advantage.
(Mercury tries to pull him off, only to get a Stunner for his troubles. Shark Boy goes for the cover, but Christian breaks it up before the ref can even get a one count. He tries to pick Shark Boy up, but gets a stunner himself.)
JR: Everyone is already worn down, except for Shark Boy. Even the numbers advantage may not mean anything.
(Scotty pulls Shark Boy up and gets a couple good hits in before Sabin spins him around and hits the Cradle Shock.)
Tenay: Not only is he the fresh man, but he has Sabin watching his back.
(The two men lift Scotty into a double suplex, but, before they can go any further, Mercury leaps off the top rope with a cross body taking Shark Boy out of the ring. He lifts Sabin halfway into a suplex, then drops him into a DDT, a one man version of the Snapshot. As he stands for the cover, Christian quickly hits the I'm Prettier and goes for a pin. The ref can't get even a one count before Scotty hits the end of the worm, forgoing all the pagentry.)
JR: And this has completely broken down. Every man is desperate to get the pin while no one else is looking.
Tenay: With this many men in the match, a quick, decisive blow is the only way you're pulling out the W.
(After the remaining men brawl for several minutes, Kennedy climbs to the top and launches himself off with a Senton, taking both men down. He quickly lifts first Christian, and then Scotty up to hit a mic Check to each.)
JR: Well, someone was listening to you, Tenay. Kennedy executed that perfectly.
(Before he can go for a pin, Shark Boy spins him around for a snap stunner. Flipping with the move, Kennedy bounces out of the ring. )
Tenay: And, yet, it wasn't enough to secure the win. The predator of the deep was on him before he could capitalize.
(As Shark Boy starts to taunt his victim, Sabin slides in behind him. Seeing an opportunity, he rolls up Shark Boy from behind, grabbing the tights, as the ref counts three.)
JR: What the hell? Chris Sabin, shark boy's best friend, has just stolen the title from him.
Tenay: He was a legal competitor, JR. He had every right to get a pin.
(Both men look shocked as the ref gives Sabin the belt. As Shark Boy charges him, he quickly slides out of the ring and heads up the ramp, all while Shark Boy surses at him from inside the squared circle.)
JR: It's the principle of the matter. He was supposed to be out here to help Shark Boy and he screwed him instead.
Tenay: Nevertheless, we have a new X Division Champion, and I can't wait to see how this plays out.
(The camera cuts away to a video package. We see Alpha Male in front of the camera.)
Brown: This ain't a school yard. It ain't a play ground. This...is the Serengeti.
(We see Brown ambushing R-Truth. He hits the Pounce in the middle of the ring.)
Brown: There is no play. There is no fun. There is only survival of the fittest.
(The Alpha Male pounces R-Truth backstage through a scenery piece. Grabbing a chair, he clubs him.)
Brown: Eat or be eaten. Prey and predator.
(R-Truth is dancing with Too Cool when the Alpha Male suplexes him over the top rope. Taking out both members of Too Cool, he wipes his scent o the top rope.)
Brown: R-Truth is not fit for these wilds. A herd, a pride is only as strong as it's weakest member.
(Brown ambushes Truth in his locker room, battering him withing its confines.)
Brown: That member is "The Truth." And, when the weakness is identified, it can either be culled from the group, or the group itself can die. Come Rumble, the weakest member...his time is up. And he'll be taken out by no less than the Alpha Male.
(The camera cuts to Truth.)
R-Truth: I have no idea what made Monty Brown target me. I have never disrespected him. I have never even faced him.
(We see Brown try to ambush R-Truth, but, at the last second he does the splits and then spin kicks him as he turns around. Once down, he begins pummeling the Alpha Male.)
R-Truth: I think he assumes that, because I like to dance and joke, I'm not a serious competitor. He thinks I'm going to be a pushover.
(R-Truth breaks a chair over Brown's back, interrupting an interview.)
R-Truth: I don't have to be serious to get the job done in the ring. I can goof around and still get the one, two, three. But Brown, he wants to target me....I'll show him that I can be dead serious.
(R-Truth slides into the ring after an Alpha Male celebration to deliver a scissor kick.)
R-Truth: Come Rumble, there's no jokes. There's no games. Monty Brown, there's just you, and me. And we'll see if, when the dust settles, if we don't have a New Alpha Male.
(Alpha Male's music hits and he comes out, pausing at the end of the ramp to do his trademark sniff of the camera, before sliding into the ring and marking the ropes.)
Tenay: Last month the Alpha Male cost R-Truth a chance to be in the Royale Rumble. And it seems like it's for nothing more than his displeasure that R-Truth has a good time and enjoys entertaining the fans.
JR: Monty Brown has stated that this is serious business. It's not about goofing around or playing games. He has made it clear that he couldn't care less about the fans. This is about him and the pride.
Tenay: And it wasn't enough to cost R-Truth the Rumble shot, as he felt R-Truth shouldn't even be in a contendership match, but he just kept attacking him. He seems dedicated to ending R-Truth's career.
(R-Truth's music plays. He's not wearing his normal gear, instead wearing ring trunks and MMA gloves. There's no dancing; instead he marches down with purpose, sliding straight into the ring.)
JR: For a month, Brown has said that Truth isn't serious enough. He doesn't focus enough. He's not a real competitor, or even a real man.
Tenay: And it seems like R-Truth is prepared to make him see different. This is not the Truth we are used to seeing.
(Before the bell can even ring he takes Monty Brown down, landing haymakers, switching back and forth between punches, forarms and elbows.)
JR: Alpha Male got exactly what he wanted tonight. R-Truth came to fight.
Tenay: I'd be lying if I said I didn't agree with Brown. I didn't think he had it in him, but I was wrong. And Brown is reeling. He was caught seriously off guard, and he's struggling just to keep from getting knocked out.
(Brown keeps blocking the blows, but finally catches an arm, and uses his superior size to roll Truth off him. Even beneath him, Truth keeps throwing hands, forcing Brown to get off him. As Truth tries to follow, Brown knees him in the gut and tosses him into the corner before landing blows of his own.)
Tenay: And the Alpha Male asserts his dominance. He is on top once again.
JR: But those early moments have taken their toll. He's not as fast or taking as much control as he normally does. He was rocked, and it still shows.
(He prepares for a charge, but Truth gets both feet up,kicking him in the face. As he staggers back, Truth hits a spinning leg lariat, dropping him. Using the momentum, R-Truth bounces off the ropes and hits the Scissor Kick. He goes for the pin.)
JR: So much for that dominance. R-Truth landed his most devastating move in record time.
Tenay: And Alpha Male is about three seconds away from learning to regret treating R-Truth like a joke.
(Kicking out at two, Brown looks stunned. Without missing a beat, Truth jumps back on top of the Alpha Male and goes back to pummeling him.)
JR: He kicked out, but barely. But R-Truth isn't giving him any breathing room. He is determined to beat respect into Alpha Male.
Tenay: Alpha Male asked for a different, a more vicious R-Truth. He may not like what he's seeing.
(Picking him up, R-Truth whips him into the ropes and follows with a spinning forearm that knocks Brown over the top rope. Building up speed, he launches between the ropes with a suicide dive that drives Brown into the announcer's table.)
JR: The Alpha Male has never been put back on his heels like this. R-Truth can feel it. He might be the one to end the almost two year long winning streak.
(Climbing back to the apron, Truth runs and dives at Brown, but this time Brown catches him and runs him back first into the ring post. Both men drop, and Brown retreats back to the ring.)
Tenay: But this is why Monty Brown is the Alpha Male. He pulls a rabbit out of his hat and turns the match around in the blink of an eye. You may rock him, you may temporarily get ahead, but the Alpha Male always ends up on top.
(Truth barely makes it in before the ten count, but Brown is ready now. He rains down knees on his head, then mounts his back and unleashes a flurry of blows on the back of his head. Twice the ref makes him break it at a 4 count, only the have Brown try to choke him out.)
Tenay: This viciousness, this mean streak has made the Alpha Male the King of his Serengeti, as he always says. He is one of the most feared stars in the back. No one wishes to cross him.
JR: Well, hell, you don't even have to try to cross him as Truth found out.
Tenay: He keeps saying it. In the law of the jungle, you're a predator or you're prey. And, unfortunately for Truth, he has determined he is prey.
(Truth manages to get to the ropes and the ref breaks the hold. But, tasting blood, now Brown stays on the attack, lifting him with a swift gut wrench suplex, landing Truth on his face. While Truth holds his front in pain, Brown delivers a diving clothesline to the back of his neck.)
JR: I think Truth would dispute that characterization very much. I'm sure he'd say that he's the hungrier younger lion, challenging for the pride.
(Dragging him up, Brown delivers a vicious turnbuckle bomb, and grabs him on the rebound for a snap belly to belly suplex.)
Tenay: The Gazelle may not feel like it's dinner, but that really doesn't matter to the lion.
JR: Do you really think he looks like a Gazelle?
Tenay: No. Right now, he looks like roadkill.
(Brown stalks him and lines him up for a full nelson, but Truth wiggles out and rolls him up. He kicks out at one and roars in anger, swinging with a wild clothesline, which Truth dodges with the splits. Jumping up, he delivers a high kick to the side of the head and spins away. Staggering back, he's met with another spinning forearm.)
JR: Not bad for roadkill.
Tenay: Pure desparation, JR.
JR: Tonight may be the night that the prey defeats the Predator.
(Truth doesn't let him get up, kicking him in the gut and signalling for the scissor kick.)
JR: Could it be? Has Truth become King of the Serengeti?
(At the last moment, Brown moves, and rebounds with a sickening pounce, sending Truth careening into the turnbuckle. He crumples and Brown goes for the cover.)
Tenay: Not tonight, JE. Monty Brown has turned away another upstart cub.
(Once the ref counts one, Brown pulls him up, shaking his head. He drags Truth to his feet.)
JR: Oh, come on. You had the match won, "Alpha Male". This is unnecessary.
Tenay: He told us what he wanted JR. This was not about beating R-Truth. This was not about a victory. He wants to hurt R-Truth. He wants to send a message to everyone by picking him apart until he's bones.
JR: I hope it bites him in his pompous ass.
(Tossing him into the ropes, Brown hits another Pounce. He picks him up for a third one. Then he mounts him and pummels him without cease.)
JR: That's enough Monty. You've made your point.
Tenay: He wants to make sure Truth understands.
JR: What else is he going to learn? I think he's out.
(The ref starts yelling at Truth that he needs to fight back or it's over. He tries to check on him, but Brown pushes him away. Rolling him over, Brown locks him in a modified Steiner recliner, but pulling his head back and locking it in his armpit.)
Tenay: That is vicious. We've never seen Brown do anything like that.
JR: He's going to cripple him.
Tenay: I think that's what he's going for.
(The ref finally calls for the bell, announcing that R-Truth is unable to intelligently defend himself. Brown refuses to let go and two more officials have to come down to pry him off. As medical staff checks on Truth, Brown walks up the ramp, arms raised in victory. He yells at the crowd to shut up as they boo him.)
JR: You can't take anything away from R-Truth.
Tenay: Except for perhaps his ability to walk, or wrestle.
Alpha Male: I own this Serengeti. This is my hunting ground. Remember that. Mine.
Tenay: Next up, we have our unification match.
JR: And this may not be any easier to watch than our last one.
(The video package starts with Rhyno raising the United States Title in victory. As he celebrates, Orton spins him around and delivers an RKO. While he's down, Orton delivers a punt.)
JR: He didn't even get to celebrate before the Jackals attack.
Tenay: They promised that the would keep the title off of him by any means. I guess they meant it.
(It cuts to backstage, where Rhyno is about to give an interview when Kennedy and Batista attack him. As they beat him down, Orton talks to the interviewer.)
Orton: We told the world that this belt would never be around Rhyno's waist. That he didn't deserve our title. Mercury couldn't keep up his end of the bargain, so we stepped in. MNM let him have the belt, but we'll be damned if he keeps it. He will have no defenses, no matches, no appearances. We will make his championship mean nothing.
(Rhyno is walking to the ring when Orton blindsides him with a chair. Kennedy joins in and uses a chain to whip him. Batista gives him a Batista Bomb on the ramp.)
Orton: Stay down, Rhyno. You have no place here.
(They continue to beat him. The camera cuts to Orton smiling about to talk to the interview when Rhyno runs on from off screen and Gores him through the backdrop. He pounds Orton until Batista runs on. Lifting him off Orton, he spinebusters Rhyno on the concrete and helps Orton escape.)
Orton: Obviously, we're not getting through to Rhyno. He's just not getting it. So, we're going to have to hammer it home.
(We see the Youngbloods surrounding a home as Orton kicks the door in. Rhyno and his wife are sitting on the couch. Jamie Noble holds the wife back as the rest of the Youngbloods hammer away on Rhyno. Orton addresses the camera as the rest leave Rhyno bloody.)
Orton: You see this, Foley? Rhyno is done. Come Rumble, his belt is mine. Make the match happen, or we get more of this.
(HE hits the RKO, and the rest pitch Rhyno down his basement steps headfirst. The camera fades as we see Rhyno broken at the bottom of the steps. )
(We cut back to the ring, where Orton is smiling broadly, holding a mic.)
Orton: Good times. Good times. That brings back memories.
JR: And no one has seen Rhyno since. He hasn't shown, no one has talked to him. Nothing.
Orton: All right, Foley. Tonight is the night. I want you to come out here and hand me my Intercontinental Title. (After several seconds, he shrugs.) All right, then, we'll do this the other way. Referee, count to ten, and hand me my damn title.
JR: He's so proud of himself. Becoming champion by default after injuring his opponent.
Tenay: As you know, JR, a win is a win. He'll be remembered as the unifier of two titles.
Jr: With an asterick beside it.
Tenay: I don't think they put side notes when you're the only holder of a record.
JR: Not that Orton would care. He's not that kind of champion.
(The ref slowly counts to 9 until the lights go down. "GORE" blares.)
Tenay: No way. After everything, it can't be.
JR: YES! This is exactly what everyone wanted to see.
(His music and lighting effects hit, as the bulky shadowed form appears on the stage. One arm throws high as the other stays close to his chest, and his pyros go off. As the lights come up, he rushes the ring.)
Tenay: Randy Orton looks as shocked as everyone in the ring. He thought he crippled Rhyno. He thought he ended his career.
JR: His eyes are as wide as the Grand Canyon. His mouth is down to his knees.
(He recovers as Rhyno tries to get in between the ropes. He kicks the ropes, crotching Rhyno before the bell rings. Grabbing his head, he pulls him in, with his feet on the middle rope. He tries to DDT him, but Rhyno fights him, slamming into his torso. After several sledgehammer blows, Orton drops him and falls away holding his gut.)
Tenay: No...no one has ever...EVER stopped Orton from hitting that killer DDT.
JR: Orton can attack him all day long, he can sneak attack, he can two on one, three on one, but he cannot, CANNOT break Rhyno's spirit. He is in for a fight tonight.
(As Rhyno gets into the ring, Orton rushes him, only to be caught in a high belly to belly suplex. He lets Orton get to his feet, only to hit a rare drop kick, taking him out over the ropes. As the fans cheer, he plays to the crowd, raising his one good arm.)
JR: Orton came in expecting to be handed the belt, and now he has to earn it. This night just went sour for the New bloods.
(Rhyno slides out after Orton and runs him face first into the stairs. Picking him up, he drops him onto the barracade. Pummeling him, he forces him back into the ring. This time, when he tries to follow, Orton targets his injured shoulder.)
Tenay: This is the problem with facing Randy Orton. The man can smell weakness. He can hone in on weakness. If you make a mistake, he will jump on it. And he will make you pay for it.
JR: He's a damned viper.
Tenay: Right. And like a viper, you let him strike, you end up dropped.
(Orton spends several minutes just striking Rhyno, attacking his arm and his head, then locking him in a hold to weaken his gore arm. He goes back and forth between snap moves to impact the shoulder, strikes, and submissions.)
JR: Rhyno had better do something, or Orton will perminently damage that arm.
Tenay: I don't think Rhyno is as worried about that as he is beating Orton.
JR: What good is beating Orton if you can't defend it after? If it ends your career If you can never use your arm again?
Tenay: I think it's a matter of pride. He'd rather destroy Orton than anything else. He doesn't care about tomorrow, as long as he takes Randy out today.
(Orton picks up Rhyno and starts wrenching his arm around the ring rope, but Rhyno punches his way out of it. He uses his good arm to lift Orton up in a back suplex. As he fights to his feet, Rhyno manages, with one good arm, to lift him in a AA spinebuster.)
JR: Rhyno is so obsessed with victory that he doesn't care that he's hurt. He is working harder with one arm than most men work at 100%
Tenay: And, in a normal match, that might mean something. But, you can't face Orton hurt. You can't show weakness to the Viper. He might look impressive now, he might drag it out. But he's already lost. It's just a matter of when.
(The two men go back and forth. Rhyno uses his superior power to beat on Orton, but then Orton targets his weakness and gets a few move in himself. But then Rhyno powers through and regains momentum.)
JR: This has looked more like a boxing match that a wrestling one. We've seen more punches thrown than the last UFC title bout.
Tenay: You don't have to execute suplexes and submissions to hurt your opponent, JR. This shows that simple fist on face violence can work just as much as the best technical match.
(Rhyno ducks a clothesline to get a massive powerbomb in. As he goes for a pin, Jamie Noble jumps over the ringside barricade and jumps to the apron. The ref never even notices, as he focuses on Noble.)
JR: Of course, Orton has never faced Rhyno one on one. Why would he start tonight?
Tenay: Like it or not, this is why the New Bloods are effective.
(Rhyno runs over and clubs Noble off the ring apron. But, as he is distracted, Orton hits his over the ack neck breaker.)
JR: He's not a viper...he's a damned hyena. If it wasn't for the dozen other hyenas who run with him, he'd never win a match.
(Orton goes for a pin, but Rhyno kicks out at two. Orton mounts him and starts raining down punches. When the ref pulls him off, he starts dropping knees on Rhyno's head.)
Tenay: Orton's the kind of man, he doesn't care how the match goes, as long as he gets the W.
JR: That kind of man is called a scumbag.
Tenay: The question isn't whether you approve, JR, but whether he succeeds.
(As Orton tries to pull Rhyno up, he fights back yet again. Plowing Orton over, he hits a belly to belly. He prepares for a Gore, but Noble gets on the apron again.)
JR: Rhyno will never be able to get ahead so long as the rest of the New Bloods are at ringside.
(As the ref focuses on Noble, Rhyno gores him off the apron. While everyone is distracted, Kennedy runs down and slides the Intercontinental Title to Orton. He uses it to clobber Rhyno as he turns around, and then tosses it out before the ref turns. The count starts.)
JR: Not this way.
(Rhyno kicks out a fraction of an inch before three. Orton throws a tantrum that the count is not there.)
JR: At least he didn't get the unification that way.
Tenay: YET, JR. Yet. This is just a matter of time the way this is going.
(Orton sets up for the RKO. As he jumps for it, Rhyno catches him and holds him for a second, before dropping him in a nasty suplex.)
JR: He didn't just stop the RKO, he held him mid air and reversed it. We're getting lots of firsts tonight, and none of them are in Orton's favor.
(Seeing Orton in bad shape, Kennedy jumps to the apron. As Rhyno grapples with him, Noble slides in the United States title. Orton grabs it and prepares to get Rhyno.)
Tenay: First time almost ended it. This one will likely be the death blow.
(Almost like he sees it coming, Rhyno dodges Orton's swing at the last moment, letting him take out Kennedy with his belt. )
JR: YES! The SOB got what he deserved.
(Orton stands in shock for a second before turning around into a GORE GORE GORE. Rhyno goes for the pin.)
JR: ONE. TWO. THREE.
Tenay: I can't believe it. Rhyno overcame all the odds, all the injuries, and ended Orton's dreams of being the only title holder.
JR: Tonight, Rhyno has destroyed the last obsticle in his way to being a true champion. He is both the Us and Intercontinental Champion.
Tenay: Three months of machinations have come to nothing. Rhyno is now the unified champion, despite all the efforts of MNM and the New Bloods.
JR: But now, ladies and gentlemen, we have come to the first of our triple main events. Shawn Michaels vs Scott Steiner.
(The video package begins with quick flashes of the Three on Three at Armageddon: The Elite-Shawn Michaels, Stone Cold and Triple H vs the nWo- Steiner, Hall and Nash. After Nash Jackknifes Michaels, Steiner comes in and locks on the Steiner Recliner, choking Michaels out. The ref drops his hand three times and calls for the bell.)
JR: And the Scotts have done it, they have retained both World Titles against the Elite.
Tenay: And they did it in decisive form. HBK is unlikely to forget that ending anytime soon.
JR: Considering he wasn't quite here for it the first time, he'll have to be reminded before he can remember.
(The nWo stand victorious over Michael's prone form. The camera jumps to a close up of Steiner in his Big Poppa Pump outfit, bouncing side to side in slow mode, with a voiceover.)
Steiner: People keep asking, am I excited we won? Does it fill me with pride that we pulled it out? Of course not. The two greatest wrestlers in the world, the two world champions of the two biggest promotions in history and the greatest big man in wrestling beat two perpetual children and a drunk. There was never any question how it would end.
(Michaels comes to Steiner backstage, offering his hand.)
HBK: I wanted to congratulate you on Armageddon.
(Steiner looks at the hand in disgust, and walks away with a sneer. We cut to the ring where Steiner is being interviewed.)
Leticia Cline: Congratulations on a hard fought victory...
Steiner: Stop right there, sweet tits. There was no hard fought anything. The best in the world beat some second string players. It's like congratulating the Superbowl Champions for beating a high school JV team.
Cline: That...I mean...wow. You know, with all the hype over the Elite vs nWo feud, and the excitement over that last match, everyone's wanting to know if you plan to face him one on one...
Steiner: Why the hell would I do that?
Cline: Well, the fans are asking for it.
Steiner: Screw them. What the hell do those idiots know? There are real men, real challengers waiting for their first chance, who deserve a shot, not another loser going for his third strike.
Cline: Well, the fans really want to see HBK...
Steiner: People love clowns, too. I'm not looking for Bozo for a match. I'm done with Shawn Michaels. He's not a real competitor. Hell, he's not even a real man. It's time to move on to real men with real chances, who don't wear assless chaps like a whore. He didn't deserve his first shot, yet alone another.
(We cut backstage, where Steiner is about to give another interview when a hand grab his shoulder. As he spins, he gets a superkick. HBK jumps on him as he drops, pounding away.)
HBK: How about now, Scott? Am I a real man now, Scott? Am I a real competitor now, Scott? How about you get an ass beating from a pair of assless chaps?
(When Legends Rise starts to play. We see the flashes of the two exchanging a series of one ups. Scott Steiner Belly to bellies HBK from the apron to the floor. HBK blocks a Frankensteiner, tossing Steiner to the ground to hit a leap of faith. Steiner catches a superkick, to toss HBK in a trapped leg overhead suplex.)
Steiner: He wants me to view him as a real man. But he keeps attacking me like a bitch. Hit me from behind. Jump me like a coward. I smash him to his face. I let him see it coming. He sneaks like a girl. He's not a man, he's a bitch.
(Michaels superkicks Steiner as he walks out of his room. Steiner yells at Michaels in an interview before hitting him with a chair. The Elite pound on Steiner, before Triple H pedigrees him on a car hood, and HBK hits the leap of faith from the top of a car. Steiner Frankensteiners HBK off the stage.)
HBK: We can debate who's done what all day long. But all that matters is that, come Royale Rumble, all your credentials mean nothing. I will shatter your delusions that you're better than me, when my sweet chin music shatters your jaw. We'll see who the real legend is, and that legend will be the Heartbreak Kid, Shawn Michaels. I walk out of Madison Square Gardens the better man and the WCW champion.
Steiner: Michaels walks into Rumble as a never was, he leaves as a never will be. He walks in as the Heartbreak Kid; he leaves as the kid with the broken back.
JR: The one on one match everyone has dreamed of, that has never happened. Shawn Michaels vs Scott Steiner. And the stakes couldn't be any higher.
Tenay: These two men hate each other. The stakes couldn't be any higher.
(The camera cuts to the two men in the ring, Steiner holding the belt high. It slows down, going to black and white, as the two men get in each other's faces, yelling.)
Steiner: (voiceover) This match is about style vs substance. Flair vs finesse. Skill v showsmanship.
HBK: (voiceover) We have a one dimensional catoon character, a man who hasn't been relevant for decades against the ultimate showstopper. We have a man who was amazing at one thing when wrestling was a different game, a small fish in a big pond, against the best all arounder to ever step in the ring.
Steiner: No doubt, Shawn Michaels may be the very best to step in the ring....as an entertainer. But this isn't showtunes; it's not a chorus line. This is wrestling. Michaels is an amazing entertainer, but he's stepping into the ring with the greatest athlete to every exist in the squared circle.
HBK: Steiner underestimates me, and thinks that his one skill is all that matters. At Rumble, I;ll show him different, and he'll never underestimate me again.
(We cut back to the ring.)
JR: We haven't had a rivalry this intense, between the Scotts and the Elite DX crew in a long, LONG time. These two teams want to kill each other.
Tenay: We have heard Scott Steiner break it down. He has shown how he is the total package, not Michaels.
JR: Simply by belittling Michaels.
Tenay: That may be JR. But let's remind the fans. As he notes, he was a huge name in NCAA, a multiple time champion when Shawn Michaels was still a kid. He was part of the greatest tag team in WWF at the time while Michaels was considering lacing up his boots.
JR: But as Michaels pointed out, he was the first WWF Grand Slam Champion. That is a feat Steiner never accomplished.
Tenay: But Steiner had a response for that too. He said that Michaels came in when all the real talent had gone to WCW. He was left with the losers who weren't good enough to get picked up by Ted Turner. While Steiner was wrestling the best in the world in WCW, HBK was struggling to get to the top in a heap of nobodies.
JR: Kinda harsh to call Kevin Nash, Bret Hart, the Rock and Stone Cold nobodies.
Tenay: But the first two went to WCW, and by the time the rest of the crew came to be, and WWF took back over, Michaels was no longer the man. Steiner keeps calling him the king of the minor leagues. He has accomplished nothing in any way that means anything.
JR: Michaels keeps trying to portray this as a clash of ages. Steiner is the king of yesterday and he is the king of the present.
Tenay: And Steiner reminds him that he has been the man in every era that he has ever wrestled in. He was better settling up the business than HBK ever was. When HBK was making a name, he was the World Champ. When HBK was gone, he was a big name. And while HBK points to being a Grand Slam Champ in an era with no competition, he has been a grand slam champ HERE, with the best competition who has ever been assembled. You have the Never was, never will be vs the Always IS.
(HBK's music hits and he comes dancing to the ramp, executing his normal intro.)
JR: While I cannot agree to Steiner's dismissal of Shawn Michael's accomplishments, there is no doubt that Steiner has been a dominant champion. He has held the belt for 5 months, and has successfully defended it 39 times, almost all of them by submission.
Tenay: Will the Heartbreak Kid be the unlucky 40th?
JR: Probably the best moment of this feud was at their contract signing, where Steiner told Michaels that the only way he would become champion is by prying the title out of his cold dead hands. Michaels simply said "challenge accepted".
Tenay: That may be a tall order, as Steiner is the only champion we have ever had who has cleanly defended his title everytime. He has dominated every man to step in the ring with him. He is the only champion in history, in any federation, to defend his title more than twice in a night, with four successful championship defenses, a record that will never be matched.
(AS Michaels plays to the crowd in the ring, sirens blare through the arena. "Holla if ya hear meeee" comes over the speakers, before fading into the nWo's familiar music. HE comes to the stage in the familiar black and white filter.)
JR: And Scott Steiner comes out for war. Look at that Tenay!
Tenay: Sure enough, JR. His familiar chainmail headdress now has a face plate and solid top. He has gauntlets and a chain mail chest plate. He looks like a combination of a knight and a mad max lunatic.
JR: And the mind games begin. Poppa Pump is no stranger to beating his opponent before he ever steps in the ring.
Tenay: He said tonight that he was going to bring it to Michaels like he'd never felt it before.
(Steiner steps in, glaring daggers at HBK and begins removing his armor. Once the announcer finishes the introductions, Steiner steps forward at the bell and offers his hand.)
Tenay: That's about the last thing anyone would've expected Steiner to do.
JR: Especially HBK, who looks unsure what to do.
(After a moment's hesitation, HBK reaches for it, only to have Steiner slap him across the face with it.)
Steiner: Get real, punk.
JR: There's the Scott Steiner we all know and loathe.
(HBK seethes for a second as Steiner flips off the booing crowd. Spinning, he delivers a series of knife edges chops to Steiner's chest. Each one rocks him a little.)
JR: And, after months of disrespect, Michaels has had enough. He is taking out all of that anger, all of the frustration on Scott Steiner.
(After several chops land, Steiner slams his knee into HBK's gut, doubling him over and cutting off the offense. He does a standing clothesline from hell, that turns HBK inside out, flipping him in midair.)
Tenay: And, as he has the whole time, Steiner has an answer. The ability to absord punishment and respond in kind is partly what makes the Big Bad Booty Daddy so dangerous.
(Steiner flexes over Michaels, before he drops his elbow into his chest for a cover. Letting the ref get to two, he pulls off of Michaels and starts doing pushups.)
JR: That's vintage Scott Steiner, but it may not be the best move in a match like this.
Tenay: You heard him at the contract signing. I'm going to dismantle you. I'm going to destroy you. I'm going to eviscerate you. And then I'm going to find a dictionary to find more things to do to you.
JR: It was an odd threat. And I think he meant Thesaurus.
(Steiner mounts HBK and starts punching him. The ref doesn't even warn him, he just starts quickly counting to five. Steiner throws up his hands at four and stands up.)
Tenay: It seems like an odd choice when HBK chose to make the stipulation that Steiner could lose the belt by DQ or count out, as Steiner has never won by those means. But it starts to make sense now. Hyper enforce the rules, and you make Scott Steiner stop his non-stop viciousness.
JR: And that's not all. Not only did he just earn himself a reprieve, if he manages to repeat his countout victory from two weeks ago, he will win the title.
(Steiner pulls HBK to his feet. While HBK tries to stop hit with a couple punches to the gut, Steiner clubs the back of his head, picks him up the rest of the way and belly to bellys him. He lands so hard that he bounces to his feet just in time to get clotheslined over the top rope.)
Tenay: Well, he gets a reprieve here, too. But, if that's his strategy, he's going to reprieve himself right into a loss.
(While Michaels clears the cobwebs, Steiner mocks him with a bad version of his hip shimmy, before slapping his ass and telling HBK to get back into the ring. When the fans boo, they get another round of birds.)
JR: Just because it's business time, that doesn't stop Steiner from belittling Michaels.
Tenay: He doesn't believe Michaels is a real wrestler. And he won't treat him like one.
(Michaels gets to the apron, and Steiner goes after him again. Blocking a suplex attempt, Michaels lands a couple of blows before getting a thumb in the eye.)
JR: If Steiner wants to disrespect him, Michaels can return the favor.
(As he stumbles away holding his eye, HBK jumps to the rops and springboards in. But Steiner catches him in a bear hug and starts squeezing the life out of him.)
Tenay: This is exactly what Steiner has said. Springboards are showy; they excite the fans. But they're bad wrestling. They leave the man exposed and vulnerable. And a true athlete like Steiner will take advantage of that error every time.
JR: Moves like that have given HBK more victories than I can count.
Tenay: But those were against other entertainers. Steiner has given Michaels that he's the best entertainer to ever step in the ring. But now he's in a new game.
(Howling in pain, HBK rears back and claps his arms against his ears. Again and again, until Steiner drops him. HBK runs forward and starts kicking the hell out of Steiner's legs.)
JR: And, to a degree, I think HBK is getting that. He's working on the legs of Steiner. Entertainer or not, that's good strategy.
Tenay: True, you weaken the legs and you take away Steiner's ability to do his devastating suplexes.
(Steiner pushes him away, and goes for a grab but Michaels ducks and gets behind him. He grabs an arm and tries to wrench it behind him, but Steiner fights. Slamming his hips back into HBK's cut, he creates a little distance. But realizing this would be bad, HBK goes back in for a headlock. It works for a few seconds, but Steiner quickly grabs his waist and lifts for a side suplex.)
JR: Well, that's going the wrong way.
Tenay: You don't try to out wrestle Scott Steiner, to try and out power him. Especially when you're a much smaller man, like Shawn Michaels.
(Steiner goes for another pump elbow drop, but Michael rolls away. Steiner nods and claps as Michaels gets up.)
JR: That's probably as close to respect as one can expect from Steiner, even if its mocking.
(Steiner lifts one hand in a challenge to lockup. As HBK grabs it, he raises the other.)
Tenay: This is a terrible idea.
(After they lock up, Steiner pulls back and launches HBK halfway across the ring. Getting to his feet, HBK nods and comes forward. Steiner offers his hand again, and HBK goes for it.)
Tenay: What was that about learning, JR? This is pure idiocy. He's going to do it again?
(AS both men focus on the second hand, HBK drop kicks his knee, dropping Steiner. Without hesitation, he delivers a pendulum DDT, using all his weight to snap Steiner's head into the mat.)
JR: Well, that one worked.
(After a two count, Steiner powers out tossing HBK halfway across the ring. HBK rushes back, unleashing a flurry of punhces and kicks, but Steiner pushes him away. This repeats several times, until Steiner gets to his feet and catches him in a wicked suplex over the top rope.)
Tenay: And the superior power of Scott Steiner shows itself again.
(However, HBK catches himself on the ropes and lands on the apron. He springboards in and delivers a flying bullsdog. After Steiner kicks out again, the two men go back and forth trying to hit moves but being countered. A suplex leads to a flip landing on his feet. A crossbody dodged. A clothesline ducked.)
JR: And both men are firing on all cylinders.
Tenay: Now, both men are working on their strengths, trying to find their opponents weakness.
JR: Michaels is using his speed to try and avoid Steiners throws. Steiner is trying to keep Michaels grounded.
(Finally, in desperation, HBK jumps on Steiner's back and tries to choke him out. He succeeds in getting him to his knees.)
JR: Is he....can he possibly choke Steiner out?
(For several seconds, it looks like it might succeed, then Steiner powers to his feet, and run Steiner back into the corner, using the turnbuckles to break the hold.)
Tenay: Not tonight.
(Steiner turns and pounds away on HBK. Lifting him to the top, he climbs as well. Flipping off the crowd, he goes for the Frankensteiner....but his leg buckles and he crumples to the mat.)
JR: And the weakening of the leg paid off. Steiner went high risk with no reward.
( Taking advantage, HBK hits the leap of faith.)
Tenay: This could be it.
(Steiner kicks out inches before the three. HBK falls off in disbelief and complains to the ref who confirms it was not a three.)
JR: Michaels wasn't the only one who though he had it. That looked like it was it.
(Frustrated, HBK goes to the top again, but Steiner attacks, crotching him on the ropes.Slowly, shaking his leg, he climbs to the top, going for a superplex.)
Tenay: If that wasn't it, this certainly will be.
(It takes too long however, and HBK starts fighting back. The two men trade punches.)
JR: This is dangerous. One wrong move and both men could end their careers.
Tenay: When is the last time you ever saw two men fight on the top rope, JR?
(After a haymaker, it looks like HBK's about to fall to the outside. But, at the last second, he hits a Sweet Chin Music, knocking Steiner back inside the ring.)
JR: OH MY GOD! We've never seen a top rope Sweet Chin Music before.
Tenay: But can he capitalize?
(HBK has to work to keep from falling off. Slowly, he climbs back up, and once more hits the Leap ofFaith. This time the pin leads to the three.)
JR: And Michaels becomes the new WCW champion for the first time in his life.
Tenay: As surprising this is, any MMA fighter can tell you that one good lucky punch can end a match.
JR: Lucky or not, Shawn Michaels still got the better of Scott Steiner. He weathered the storm, and came out the champion.
Tenay: A fluke win is still a win. And now, Michaels is the man to beat.
(As HBK celebrates, we fade to a video package.)
The Royale Rumble. The biggest, most unpredictible match in sports history. And, this year, it is the biggest Rumble in history. To prevail, you must outlast 39 other men, all hellbent on the same prize....main eventing Wrestlemania. The chance to become a legend
(We see flashes of Kurt Angle, Rock and Eddie Guerrero celebrating after their wins, with the announcers lauding them.)
This is the biggest opportunity in all of wrestling. To headline the greatest show of the year, and beat the greatest athlete in the business today while the entire world is watching. No greater opportunity exists in any sport. And every man to headline Wrestlemania is immortalized.
(Stone Cold pins Jericho after the Stunner. Kurt Angle pins Kane after the Olympic Slam. Booker T Scissor Kicks Goldberg. Rock taps out Mark Henry to the Sharpshooter. Eddie Guerrero pedigrees Triple H to become champion.)
Tonight, we find out who is next for immortality. Who is the next legend in the making.
(We go to the Ring, and Edge's music hits.)
JR: For some inexplicable reason, this man here won a 20 man Battle Royale to get any coveted spot in the Rumble. When he won, Foley announced that he would get the 40th spot, and Edge cut him off saying he wanted number one.
Tenay: Isn't it obvious, JR. No one has ever accomplished what Edge seeks out here tonight. He is arguably one of the greatest of all time. Now, he wants to cement himself as the very best, bar none.
JR: It would be a unique record, but hardly the best...
Tenay: No, JR. While Edge would be the first to accomplish a number one spot here, that's not enough. There have been more than 100 Royale Rumble style matches with more than 30 people world wide. No one has ever won above position 20 anywhere in the world.
JR: This is why you're the Professor, Mike Tenay. I don't think anyone else in the world knows that.
(The APA's music hits and Bradshaw makes his way down.)
JR: And I can't think of any worse number two to have if you're Edge. Just surviving Bradshaw alone is a test. Beating 38 other men is virtually impossible after 3 minutes with Bradshaw.
(Bradshaw tries to lock up with Edge, but he keeps backing off before the lockup is completed.)
JR: Edge is being cowardly here.
Tenay: As you noted, JR, Bradshaw is a tough number two. Edge can't just bang with him and hope to win this match.
JR: You can hear from the fans that they're not impressed either.
Tenay: He has to make a choice between winning and making the fans happy. From a competitor's standpoint, that's not a hard choice. This is not a fan based match.
(As we drop to near a minute, Bradshaw finally catches Edge. He proceeds to club him rapidly, trying to wear him down. He whips Edge towards the ropes, and Edge dives, sliding out.)
JR: Oh what the hell...
Tenay: If he truly wants to be teh first massive Rumble winner, it's not about going toe to toe...it's about outlasting and outthinking everyone else.
JR: He should be eliminated.
Tenay: You have to go over the top rope JR. Not under the bottom.
(Every time he tries to get in, Bradshaw reaches for him causing him to repeat. Despite boos, Edge refuses to get into the ring while Bradsaw is there. Finally, the timer hits zero and MNM's music hits.)
JR: So, does this make Edge's life harder or easier Mike Tenay?
Tenay: It's too soon to tell. Nitro could help Edge, Bradshaw, or we could have a three way.
(As Bradshaw turns to face Nitro, Edge slides in behind him and bulldogs him. He stomps him mercilessly as Nitro slowly makes his way to the ring.)
JR: Well, he certainly used it to his advantage, no matter what Nitro does.
(As Edge stomps away at Bradshaw, Nitro leisurely makes his way to the ring. Climbing in, he offers his hand to Edge. The two men shake, and then spend the rest of the time double teaming Bradshaw.)
Tenay: And we have our answer.
JR: Yes, two jackals attacking Bradshaw.
Tenay: You don't have to like it, JR. But this is how you win matches. Temporary alliances to take out stronger fighters is how people win Rumbles and Battle Royales.
(As the timer counts down, Billy and Chuck's music hits, and Gunn runs to the ring. He clotheslines both Edge and Nitro down.)
JR: SO much for the two on one.
(Gunn then goes and starts stomping on Bradshaw. When Jogn tries to get to his feet, Gunn hits the Fameasser.)
Tenay: Bradshaw may have been doing better under the two on one if you ask me. He's on the verge of elimination.
(Gunn tries to pick up Bradshaw, dragging him to the ropes. He struggles to remove him as the count ends. Cryme Tyme's music hits. Shad starts running to the ring.)
Tenay: And we add another variable to the match.
(As Shad slides in and starts teeing off on Edge and Nitro, Bradshaw manages to fight off Gunn. Soon Shad and Bradshaw are the only men standing.)
JR: Where is this going? Are we about the see clash of the Titans?
(They shake hands and start double teaming the other three competitors. After knocking down all three, they try to toss out Nitro, who holds on until the new music hits, for AJ Styles.)
Tenay: And here comes the Phenomenal One.
JR: Didn't AJ win the +4 modifier?
Tenay: That just means he originally pulled number 2 JR.
JR: That would've been a hell of a match, AJ vs Edge.
(Aj announces his entrance by delivering a phenomenal forearm to Nitro, then runs up and dropkicks Bradshaw out of the ring.)
Tenay: I cannot think of a better entrance than to have the first elimination of the night.
JR: And Bradshaw of the APA to boot. Not just anyone...but one of the biggest and best.
(The remaining five men brawl, with AJ and Nitro fighting while Gunn and Edge team up on Shad. AS they go at it, the Road Warriors theme hits and Heidenreich comes sprinting to the ring.)
JR: Few men have been as dominant as Heidenreich since the Road Warriors have tapped him to be their third member HE stepped up when Hawk was injured, and then, since Animal disappeared, and he was the only Road Warrior, he has become a force of nature.
Tenay: This is true. he hasn't had a single loss since he became a Road Warrior.
(Heidenreich slides in, hitting his finisher on Gunn. He then follows with Nitro, Edge, Shad and AJ. Having clobbered everyone in the ring, he crows to the crowd. )
JR: Heidenreich clears house. He is absolutely dominant.
(Before he can eliminate anyone, the nWo's music hits, and here comes Nash. He walks out and gets in Heidenreich's face.)
JR:And business is about to pick up. We have two of the most dominant behemoths in the business about to square off.
(The two men begin trading blows. This devolves quickly into them tying up and simultaneously pounding on each other. AS they fight, Edge takes out Nash's legs, and Nitro superkick's Heidenreich. We immediately go back to a free for all.)
Tenay: We have the glorious chaos of the Rumble.
(Eliminations are attempted, but none succeed. And the clock counts down to Regal's entrance.)
JR: And here comes the British Brawler.
Tenay: Submissions and shoot wrestling is hardly the best skill set for this type of match.
JR: Perhaps not, but lets not forget that Regal has no problems standing and fighting with the best of them.
(He slides into the ring, where Shad is waiting for him. He evades Shad's clumsy attempt to grapple, slides behind and executes a textbook perfect german suplex, sliding quickly into a side headlock/armbar combination.
Tenay: You can't submit your opponent in this match.
JR: True, but weakening them makes it easier to eliminate them.
(Nash tries to drop an elbow on Regal, but he rolls out of the way, letting Shad take the hit. He takes out Nash's leg And locks him in a Boston Crab. Quickly he releases it to catch Heidenreich's clothesline and whip him in an arm drag into another arm submission.)
Tenay: Regal is putting on a clininc. Anything anyone tries, he's ready for and has a counter. Everyone is ending up on the bad side of his technical skills.
(Edge and Nitro double team AJ, trying to eliminate him as Regal keeps applying submissions. AJ fights back, but the two men overpower him. He gets tossed over the ropes, but AJ holds on and falls to the apron, holding on for dear life. The countdown ends and Goldust's music hits.)
JR: It's about to get a lot odder in here. Goldust Productions is about to reshoot the Rumble.
Tenay: As strange as Goldust is, his unorthodox style makes it difficult for his opponents to prepare for him. That may be a supreme asset tonight.
(Goldust hops on the apron and does his signature taunt to Kevin Nash. When Nash tries to grab him, he grabs his hair and drops, hanging him up on the top rope. Sliding in after him, he drops to his knees and delivers a stiff straight hand uppercut to Nash's chin, rocking him.)
JR: I believe he calls that the Good Morning Kiss.
Tenay: Disgusting.
(Goldust then turns his attention to Nitro and Edge, saving AJ. Once he gets him some breathing room, he pulls AJ in and starts stroking his hair, freaking AJ out. )
Tenay: AJ doesn't seem to enjoy the assistance he just received.
JR: Well, he came here tonight to fight, not to get petted like a puppy.
(Edge tries to rush them, but AJ pushes Goldust out of the way and then delivers a Pele, dropping Edge to the mat. Grinning ear to ear, Goldust hugs him.)
JR: He returned the favor, but he may be regretting it.
(As AJ struggles, Shad runs up and splashes both in the corner. He picks up Goldust on his shoulder for a slam, but Dust slides down his back and grabs his head for the curtain call. Shad tries to get up in a daze, but Billy Gunn runs up and hits the Fameasser.)
Tenay: Being big is not always a benefit in a match like this. It makes you a target, and watching many of the smaller guys team up to drop someone like Shad is expected.
(As the two men finish tossing Shad from the ring, MVP's music hits. He comes down, and starts bad mouthing Gunn, catching his attention. He ambles to the ring, keeping Gunn's attention, as Nash takes both Gunn and Dust down from behind.)
JR: What cheap tactics. Don't just bump your gums on the outside. Get in and show us what you're made of.
(Nash lifts Gunn and jacknifes him over the top rope, onto the apron...eliminating him.)
Tenay: Like it or not, he got rid of a competitor, and without lifting a finger. You don't survive a match like this without creativity and alliances.
(Instead of getting in the ring, however, MVP slowly makes his way around the ring to the table. He grabs a headset and sits down.)
JR: What the hell are you doing?
MVP: Gracing you with my presence, JR. Making the announcer's table more valuable and profitable. MVP makes money, and adds value to the product. MVP baby.
Tenay: Wouldn't you add more value in the ring.
MVP: MAYBE. Maybe, but there's no rule that I can't sit for a second and scope my competition.
JR: Many people would say that's cowardly, that you're cheating.
MVP: Yea, well, those people are sitting at home, on their asses, watching MVP. If they knew what they were talking about, they'd be here instead of me.
Tenay: He makes a good point, JR.
JR: The hell he does.
(Jericho's music hits and he cockily makes his way down to the ring, going the long way to mock MVP, with a hand brush to the underside of his chin.)
MVP: Same to you, buddy.
(Hopping in, he springboards onto AJ Styles with a phenomenal forearm, before giving a dropkick to Goldust.)
JR: What a show of disrespect to AJ Styles.
MVP: Well, I don't know, JR. They do say that imitation is the best for of flattery.
JR: I'm sure he was flattering you too when he walked by.
MVP: No, of course not. But you have to consider the quality of the wrestler. With someone like AJ Styles, someone of that low quality, any attention is more than he deserves.
JR: Low quality? The Phenomenal AJ Styles.
Tenay: I'm sure he just means compared to him.
MVP: Well, he's definitely not up to my standards.
(Jericho Lionsaults him. He lifts him up and whips him into Heidenreich who does the spinning Boss Man Slam. Heidenreich unceremoniously dumps him over the ropes. )
Tenay: And Jericho makes his presence immediately felt by taking out the Phenomenal AJ Styles. That's a powerful statement.
(Jericho claps Heidenreich on the shoulders, grinning. Heidenreich turns around and decks him.)
MVP: And this shows not just that Styles isn't on my level, cause I wouldn't have been eliminated like that. But Jericho isn't in my league either, cause I wouldn't have made that mistake either.
Tenay: Just because someone works together with you to eliminate someone doesn't make you friends, or even temporary allies.
MVP: Couldn't have said it better myself.
(Heidenreich grounds and pounds Jericho, with Goldust stomping away at him. The countdown ends and John Cena's music hits. He comes sprinting down the ramp, tossing his hat.)
MVP: At this point there's not even a reason for me to be in the ring. We're not even sending out anybody worth my time.
JR: Well, then if it's all easy wins, what does that say about you that you won't get in?
Tenay: Well, he could still wear himself out on lesser talent.
MVP: Thank you, Mike Tenay. At least somebody gets it.
JR: OH, I get it. You're full enough of it to fertilize a farm. You're a master at very poor excuses.
MVP: That was terrible, JR.
(Instead of going for the ring, Cena runs to the announcer table. As MVP starts to protest, Cena jerks him over the table and runs him into the ring.)
JR: It's not just me that thinks MVP sitting out his time in the Rumble is BS. The other stars won't stand for it.
(MVP tries to get away from Cena and backs right into Regal. As he spins, Regal starts slamming knife edges chops into his chest. He tries to get away and runs into Cena who lifts him into a spinning back drop powerbomb. Showing that "you can't see me", Cena hits the Five Knuckle Shuffle.)
Tenay: This was obviously not the experience tonight MVP wanted.
JR: That's what the match is all about. Welcome to the Rumble, MVP. Don't enjoy your stay. It'll be short.
(Jericho and Heidenreich also take a turn on MVP, before putting him in the corner and letting Goldust hit the Shattered Dreams.)
JR: It's wrestling's version of Oprah. You get to kick MVP's ass, and you get a turn and you get a turn. Everybody gets a turn.
(When they go to toss MVP out, however, Nitro pulls him off of Heidenreich's shoulders. He superkicks Heidenreich over the ropes, but he holds on. As soon as he gets to his feet, Edge spears him off the apron.)
JR: Go figure that the two jackals would side with MVP.
Tenay: These three men may have just guaranteed they;ll be the last men standing, JR.
JR: And they're the last three I want to see.
Tenay: Drive, intelligence, and killer instincts. That's what you have to do to get on top.
(As the brawl continues, Stone Cold's music hits. He runs to the ring and slides in. Immediately he hits a Lou Thesz Press on Nash, and pounds away. He delivers a stunner to MVP, who rolls out of the ring. He also delivers one to Goldust, and another to Regal. The fans cheer as he throws his hands up in victory.)
JR: And business has just picked up. Austin 3:16 says he just stunned your ass at the Rumble.
Tenay: One of the roughest sumbitches to ever step in the ring. This man has helped redefine wrestling by stomping the hell out of everyone.
(He goes right back to stomping away at Nash, turning his back on the rest of the competitors, who brawl away.)
JR: And here's the feud between the Elite and the nWo. These two groups can't stand each other.
Tenay: Such single minded spite may come back to bite him in the ass, though. There's too many people in this match to focus on just one man.
(Soon, the time runs out and Booker T comes running down. He meets Jericho in the ring and starts chopping away at him. He spinebusters him and notices Nash. He joins in with Austin at stomping away at Nash.)
Tenay: Back to back superstars. And things couldn't get any worse for Kevin Nash.
JR: The only people who hate the nWo more than the Elite are Flair's crew. Two of the biggest threats to the nWo are in the ring right now.
Tenay: And both are laser focused on Nash.
(The two men pick him up. Austin hits a Stunner, and then Book hits the Scissor Kick. Without missing a beat they lift him and clothesline Nash over the top rope. The fans go wild as both men celebrate.)
JR: Thanks for coming, Kevin Nash. The nWo's first hope to win this match is gone. And that;s less backup for Hogan and Show coming up later.
(Edge and Nitro blindside Austin and Booker and proceed to stomp away. The next intro hits, and Jeff Hardy comes running down to the ring. Before he gets in, MVP blindsides him on the outside, and runs him into the ringpost.)
Tenay: That couldn't have gone any worse for Hardy. He got taken out before he even began.
(As MVP tries to injury Hardy, Goldust reaches over the ropes and grabs him by the hair. MVP screams in pain as he is dragged into the ring.)
JR: Once again, MVP tries to stay out of the match and fight on his terms, and the rest of the ring says "no sir."
(MVP counters by dropping Goldust on the ropes. He slides in and hits the playmaker. While he's been stalling however, Hardy has climbed to the top and hits a Swanton onto both men.)
Tenay: That is probably the best entrance we've seen tonight.
JR: Hardy isn't just a show. He sacrifices his body to take out his opponents in a way few others can match. There is nothing Hardy won't do for the victory.
Tenay: And it backfires on his just about as often.
(Nitro tries to superkick Hardy, but he catches it, spins him around, and delivers a twist of fate. Before he can capitalize, however, Edge catches him from behind, and the two go brawling into the corner.)
Tenay: Here comes number 18, JR.
(And with that, Sting's music hits. Everyone looks expectantly to the ring, but he drops in from the rafters. Disengaging his rapel rope, he "woos" with the crowd, and immediately launches into the corner to hit both Hardy and Edge with a Stinger Splash.)
JR: Oh my God. It's the Icon!
Tenay: Eat your heart out Hardy. That's the greatest Rumble entrance we've EVER seen.
(Regal tries to tie up Sting from behind, but the Icon fights through, elbowing Regal off him. Spinning him around, he hits the Scorpion Death Drop out of nowhere. Playing to the crowd, he locks in the Scorpion Death Lock. Writhing in agony, Regal starts to tap.)
JR: That's a Royale Rumble first.
Tenay: And he can tap all he wants. He isn't going to be removed until he is tossed over that top rope.
(Austin tries to Stunner a distracted Sting, but he catches the leg. Spinning Austin around, he Scorpion Death drops Austin right on top of Regal. Standing, he does another Woo with the crowd joining him.)
JR: The crowd is electrified by Sting's showing.
Tenay: And we're not even halfway JR. Here comes our next entrant.
("The Fire Burns" hits and CM Punk makes his way down.)
JR: The Straight Edge Superstar looks ready to X out someone.
(Sliding in, he targets Jericho and starts pounding away. He mounts him in the corner and rains down punches. While Jericho manages to push him off, when he rushes forward Punk lifts him up onto his shoulders and hits a Go To Sleep. Withpout missing a beat, he gets in Cena's face. )
Tenay: Allies? Enemies?
(After several tense moments of staring each other down, and some mouthing off, the two begin trading rights.)
JR: There's your answer, Tenay.
(Cena tries to lock up, but Punk floats behind him, and takes him down, before sliding into a Cobra Clutch. Cena powers up, lifting Punk and suplexing him out of the hold. As Punk bounces up, holding his head, the two men stare each other down.)
Tenay: What a matchup that'd be. Punk can outmanuever Cena's blunt tactics, but Cena can power through the submissions. It's a shame we can't see who would be the better man in a normal match.
JR: Heck, we might not even see who's better period, because it's time for another entrant. We're halfway there.
(Welll, it's the big shooowwwwww, and it blurs into the nWo theme. 500 pounds of pure meanness stalks to the ring in the familiar black and white filter.)
Tenay: And there couldn't be a bigger game changer coming through that curtain right now.
JR: If you are in that ring, you cannot be happy about that entrant.
Tenay: The only saving grace is that we're still relatively early in the match. Could you imagine him coming out 10 men later? 15?
JR: No, Mike, I cannot. That would be a game ender, not a changer.
(Show doesn't even step into the ring before he catches hold of MVP. Grabbing him, he lifts him over the ropes and chokeslams him to the floor. )
Tenay: Does that even count, JR? He's not officially in the match til he steps into the ring.
JR: Well, it says you are eliminated by going over the top rope. It pus no specifications on that.
(Regal is next on the chopping block. Show catches him in a massive Chokeslam, then tosses him from the ring like a sack of garbage. Jericho launches at him, only to be caught in mid air and tossed over the ropes as well. Mercury tries to jump on his back and choke him out, but Show tosses him to the ground, hits the Hog Log, and then Nitro is gone. Punk tries to grapple, but Show launches him backwards over the ropes.)
Tenay: Holy crap. That's unbelievable.
JR: That's five big eliminations in 30 seconds.
(Everybody sizes Show up, and all the rivalries are temporarily eliminated, while the remaining 8 men all gang up on Show and eliminate him.)
Tenay: While 5 is no overall record, never before have 5 people been eliminated in less than a minute in any Rumble...let alone by one man.
JR: If they hadn't teamed up, Show would've done a lot more damage.
Tenay: I think everyone knows that. The team up was simply a matter of survival.
(And the clock counts down, bringing out Samoa Joe.)
Tenay: Out of the frying pan and into the fire.
JR: They got rid of one monster to get another.
(Joe stalks to the ring. Before getting in, he grabs Hardy's legs and pulls him out to drive him back first into the apron. Jumping to the apron, he delivers a nasty kick to the side of Sting's head. Getting in, he punches away at Cena before tossing him across the ring by his neck.)
JR: And he came in like a wrecking ball.
Tenay: Somehow I doubt Joe would be thrilled that you're describing him in Miley Cryus song lyrics.
(He dropkicks Stone Cold into the corner, and takes him into a Muscle Buster that weakens him enough to toss Austin out.)
JR: How big is that to toss out one of the biggest names of all time in your very first Rumble?
Tenay: Every match for Joe he tops himself. He just keeps geting bigger and better.
(Joe launches himself at Sting, punching away. Pushing him back into the corner, Joe hits a spinning enseguri, with Sting collapsing in the corner, at which point he stomps away. )
JR: He's going straight for the biggest names in the ring.
Tenay: He said that he was all about making himself THE name here tonight. He doesn't care as much about winning as it is breaking the old guard. He wants to show that no matter how good the big names are, he's better. Joe should be the name.
JR: With his attitude and his viciousness, it's obvious why he's been undefeated for almost 18 months.
Tenay: Whoever comes next has a lot to live up to.
(And the music hits, heralding Luther Reigns, who comes out looking sour as always, ready to kick someone's head off.)
JR: Although if anyone can follow up Big Show and Samoa Joe, it's this man.
Tenay: He did fight Big Show to a double count out about a month ago. Since neither man won, Foley decided that meant there was no loser and put both in the Rumble match.
Jr: It was as physical of a contest as any we've ever seen.
(Reigns gets into the ring, and faces off with Joe. The two stare each other down.)
Tenay: We're about to see Clash of the Titans here.
JR: This is like the 10th matchup we've seen tonight that would be an amazing match on it's own.
Tenay: And here we go.
(The two begin trading blows. First Reigns backs Joe into the corner with blows, then Joe flips it. He quickly lands one of his trademark spinning enseguris, but Luther is not phased. To the contrary, he simply puffs up and yells in anger.)
JR: I don't care who you are. When you hit a blow like that and it gets shrugged off that has to be intimidating.
Tenay: Joe's not the kind to be intimidated.
JR: Yet even he looks taken aback. He's giving Reigns some room.
(Reigns explodes out of the corner and takes Joe down. Joe tries to come back, but Reigns tosses him in the air like a featherweight; Joe lands hard. Again he lifts and tosses him.)
JR: Joe is not a small guy. And he just manhandled him like he weighed nothing.
Tenay: You don't see anyone push Joe around like that. Anyone.
(Hardy tries to jump on Reigns back, and Reigns ignores him, going back to Joe with Hardy still on him. )
JR: Good lord, he doesn't even seem to notice Hardy is there.
(Standing, he drops backwards, landing on Joe. As Joe struggles to to get the corner, Luther grabs Hardy by the legs and swings him into Joe.)
Tenay: He just used Hardy as a weapon. Twice.
JR: Freakish strength mixed with ruthless aggression.
(As the three men tangle, Goldust stalks Cena. Before he can get him, Sting catches him from behind and tosses him over the ropes.)
Tenay: And another one bites the dust.
JR: One out, one in.
(The asian chimes play as the dragon roars, and Ultimo Dragon makes his way to the ring. He runs in and springboards into Cena with a crossbody. Ducking a clothesline from Booker, he bounces off the rops with an asai moonsault. Diving between Edge's legs, he does a backflip drop kick.)
JR: The speed of Ultimo Dragon is hard to counter, hard to deal with. He can hit four high flying hard hitting moves in the time it takes some men to throw a punch.
Tenay: His constant momentum has taken out men twixe his size. Let's see what it can do in a Rumble.
(Reigns and Joe continue to slug it out, but Hardy now comes up to Dragon. As fans cheer, he claps, and holds his hand out in a show of respect.)
JR: Yet another dream match, Tenay.
Tenay: I don't disagree, JR. But can you imagine if it was their tag teams?
JR: A fan's dream.
(The two tie up. When Hardy tries to get a headlock, Dragon backdrops him...but he lands on his feet. Hardy tries a back spinning mule kick, but Dragon drops. Dragon tries to execute a flipping leg drop, but Hardy moves. )
JR: Look at that, these men are evenly matched.
(Hardy runs up the turnbuckle, but Dragon is right behind him and drop kicks him out of the ring.)
Tenay: And, as I said earlier, no matter how exciting he is, Hardy's risks often backfire. We just saw a prime example.
(The remaining men go to their respective tie ups, trying unsuccessfully to get eliminations until the next entrant. "I walk Alone" blares through the arena.)
Tenay: And here comes the Animal.
JR: While he's a beast on his own, where he goes the New Blood follow. This makes him one of the most dangerous men on the roster.
(Batista storms down to the ring and jumps to the apron. He grabs Booker from the outside, and starts clubbing him over the ropes, beating his chest raw. Dragging him over the ropes, he wraps his arms around his waist and runs him full steam into the ring post. Booker cruples and falls to the floor.)
JR: And again, we have an elimination by someone who hasn't even gotten into the ring yet.
Tenay: We often talk about taking a competitor out before you're even in the ring, but this truly rewrites that saying.
(Batista grabs Sting and runs him into the corner, shouldering him in the gut. After several, Sting chops away at his back, forcing him to let go. They become yet another brawling couple as the time runs down, and America's Most Wanted music hits. )
JR: And here comes to Cowboy, James Storm.
Tenay: Downing a beer. This is not the kind of match you want to be drunk for.
JR: And with the exception of John Cena and Edge, everyone in this match has been in it for less than 10 minutes. That means everyone in this match is pretty fresh. You can't count on people being tired.
Tenay: It deserves noting that Edge has been in this match for 24 minutes. He has shown no signs of tiring, no signs of slowing down. He is just as dangerous now as he was when it was just him and Bradshaw.
(Harris pauses at the apron and takes time to finish his beer, watching the carnage.)
Tenay: This isn't a bar. Have your drink after the amtch is over.
JR: What a difference from your attitude with MVP.
(Cena walks over and opens the ring ropes, inviting Harris in. But the Cowboy walks around to a different side and gets in where no one is there. Cena lets him in and then goes over to face him. Sharing words, the two tie up.)
JR: Two rising stars face off, either one of which would be amazing in the main event at WrestleMania.
Tenay: A drunk or a wanna be rapper. Thank God there are other choices.
(The two struggle back and forth, reversing each other a few times in arm and head locks. Finally, the Cowboy gets behind Cena and sweeps his legs. He begins dropping elbows on the back of Cena's head. Slapping his side, he gets his arms for a Mexican Surfboard. If that wasn't bad enough for Cena, Joe runs up and Sentons both of them.)
JR: That's the hardest part of this match. Its almost impossible to effectively create an offense because of how many men there are. You get a little momentum and someone shuts you down.
Tenay: But that can be an asset too. You can use the other men as a distraction. You don't have to be the focus the whole match.
JR: It's a hard line to walk.
Tenay: But the best one's can, and, so, far, Edge has been the master at it tonight.
JR: But there's 16 to go, and here comes the next.
(Again, the APA's music hits and here comes Farooq. )
Tenay: And if you're in this match right now, how happy do you have to be that Bradshaw is already eliminated.
JR: The APA are a wrecking crew. They're bad enough in a normal match. But remove the tags, take away the rules and make it to where they can toss people at will? That's any reasonable man's nightmare.
(And to prove JR right, he immediately picks up the first man he sees, Harris, for a spinebuster drop. Dragon, then Sting, and then Cena all get them too. Edge tries to cheap shot him, but is slingshotted over the ropes. At the last second he catches himself, but Farooq starts hammering away.)
JR: He's hanging on for dear life. Edge's dream is seconds away from a rude awakening.
Tenay: And he no longer has backup.
(Edge drops to the mat and rolls back in, even as Farooq is trying to eliminate him. As the two fight, Senshi jumps over the guardrail, slides in and kicks Joe in the back of the head.)
JR: What is this? Why the hell is Senshi attacking Joe?
Tenay: I have no idea, JR. But right now, the why is less important than the fact that its happening. We'll figure out the reason later.
(Rocked, Joe tries to fight back, but Farooq sees an opening, and launches Joe from the ring. Senshi backs away and slides out, grinning at Joe as he backs up the ramp. Joe sputters in fury as he is led out of the arena, shaking in anger.)
JR: And, just like that, Farooq cut short Joe's quest to destroy the competition. As impressive as he was, Farooq just stole his thunder.
Tenay: With a big assist from Senshi. And I can't wait to hear why.
(Batista and Farooq go at it, while Sting starts taking on Reigns. Cena and Dragon tie up as Edge sits in the corner watching. The time ticks down, and Brock Lesnar's music hits. Roaring at the top of the ramp, he sprints to the ring.)
JR: And we just ratcheted it up another notch.
Tenay: He's not the only beat in the ring though. There's stiff competition that can maybe give him a run for his money.
JR: He is the freshest man in there though, Tenay.
(Getting in, he clotheslines Edge down, then Cena. He turns back and catches Edge in an overhead Belly to belly. Clubbing Dragon, he gets tossed for a german. Sting gets a quick kick to the gut to set up a nasty power bomb.Roaring, he taunts the other wrestlers and crowd.)
Tenay: And Lesnar takes out everyone in a matter of seconds. He's an absolute monster.
(Within seconds, the rest of the men gang up on him, several punching and kicking him.)
JR: And the other stars are determined not to have a repeat of the Big Show.
Tenay: It was smart before and its smart now.
(Lesnar, however, fights back, shoving his attackers away two at a time. Once he gets clear, he starts clotheslining them as they come back. Finally, he catches Dragon and suplexes him out of the ring, eliminating him.)
JR: And it looks like Lesnar was paying attention to what happened to Show earlier.
Tenay: Knowing you have that target on your back, you have to have the plan to survive. You have to be prepared for that onslaught. And while it's not over, Lesnar has reduced the odds against him a little bit.
(Lesnar charges after the remaining men, suplexing and throwing them arooq tries to chop his legs from behind, but Lesnar catches him from his knee, and lifts into an F5.)
JR: Like the finisher name suggests, this man is an absolute tornado. He is a natural disaster. Get in his path and he will destroy you.
(The men continue to double and triple team Lesnar, weakening him, even as he dispatches one after another. And all the while the counter clicks down, leading to "If you ain't Chearting, you ain't trying" blaring over the speakers. He comes down and plays to the crowd on the turnbuckle before getting into the ring.)
JR: Now that's smart, he can't be eliminated before he crosses those ropes, so play it up before getting in.
Tenay: It's be smarter not to play it up at all The longer you delay, the more of a target you are, and the more people notice you.
JR: And the longer he plays around, the less he has to survive inside.
Tenay: Better to jump in, hit hard, hit fast.
(Reigns sees him and charges over. Eddie leaps over him, mule kicking him in the back as he goes. Rolling to his feet, he catches Reigns on the rebound for his rolling suplexes.)
JR: So much for bad strategy, Tenay. Eddie's three amigos just joined the party.
(As Eddie shimmies, Cena tries to catch him, but Eddie ducks the clothesline, and Cena gets a set of amigos as well, the third dropping him right on Reigns/)
Tenay: And Eddie shows that he can have fun while bringing his A game.
JR: We got a two for one special on Hombre Ass Kickings.
(Eddie stops and looks at the crowd, getting his signature smirk, getting a huge pop. Grabbing Reigns legs, he drags him to the edge, slides out, and racks Reigns on the ring post. He then slams each leg into the post. Looking at the crowd he yells "If you aint cheating..."
JR: (with crowd) You aint trying.
Tenay: Why do you encourage him, JR?
JR: It's hard not to like Eddie Guerrero. He is the only man in wrestling history to get the fans to CHEER for cheating. I'd expect the Professor to know that.
Tenay: I'm aware, but it's no different when he does it than anyone else.
JR: The fans disagree Tenay.
Tenay: Truth is not a matter of consensus, JR.
(As Guerrero slides back in, Harris is there to greet him. Smiling broadly, Eddie offers a hand. Harris offers a handshake, and the two proceed to exchange blows.)
JR: What a great show of respect between these world class competitors!
Tenay: A drunk and a cheater are world class? And you get on me for talking to MVP?
( Undertaker's music hits.)
JR: And the deadman enters.
Tenay: You have to know that the two champions do not want Undertaker to win this match. His legendary WWF/WWE run at Wrestlemania is the last thing any champion would want to compete with.
(As he gets into the ring, other competitors start backing off. Reigns and Batista share a glance, and rush him as he removes his hat.)
JR: That's the youngbloods way. Wait until the opponent is distracted and jump him.
Tenay: And that's the only way you beat the undertaker. Although, if it was me, I'd want a lot more than two people.
JR: Undertaker inspires a different kind of fear than Brock Lesnar or Big Show.
(After a few seconds of taking blows from both sides, Undertaker retaliates. Bouncing back and forth between his two attackers, he throws powerhouse blows that rock each man. He whips Reigns into the ropes to get a big boot, before he does the same thing to Batista.)
JR: And this is why Undertaker is the thing wrestlers look for under their beds. He just negated two of the biggest men in the ring with seemingly no effort.
Tenay: And, as impressive as that is, it is time to see who our next man is.
("HOOOO Train. Pimping ain't easy" blares, and Godfather comes dancing out, carrying two beautiful women with him.)
JR: And here comes one of our most beloved superstars escorted by two of the most beautiful women I've ever seen, Mickie James and Alexa Bliss.
Tenay: What is he thinking, exposing women to this?
(Godfather steps in and tangles with Harris. The two go back and forth, before Godfather flapjacks him on the ropes. As he fights, Luther Reigns steps to the ropes to target Bliss. He grabs her hair, pulling her to the ropes.)
JR: What is this scumbag doing?
Tenay: This is why you don't bring women to this type of match JR.
(Reigns tries to get a kiss, but Godfather walks up behind him and gives him a low blow. While he is stunned, Mickie and Alexa pull him over the ropes.)
Tenay: That's illegal!
JR: There are no rules in this match, and, if you're going to lay your hands on women, you don't deserve the rules to protect you.
(Reigns goes after the women, but officials stop him and shove him to the back, ranting and raving, the whole way. The next song hits, and Mark Henry passes him on the way in.)
Tenay: Well, if anyone is celebrating about the loss of Reigns, this isn't any better.
JR: The world's Strongest Man. The only man who can bench press the Big Show.
Tenay: In a match where you get tossed over the top rope...Henry is about the worst entrant you can get. And at this late of a date to boot. He has reversed a car in motion...what is tossing a 250 pound man over a 4 foot rope?
(Coming in, Henry splashes three men in a row. He runs back, clotheslining each of them. Finally, he stands toe to toe with the Undertaker.)
JR: And here we go. The unstoppable force versus the immovable object.
(Taker tries to grapple with Henry, but Henry throws him back like he is nothing. Shaking it off, Taker moves in again with some haymakers, but, after absorbing a few, Henry T-Bone suplexes Taker without effort.)
Tenay: When have you ever seen someone negate Undertaker like that?
(As the two men take the ring, the lights go down, and Goldberg's music hits.)
JR: And this is terrible news for everyone. The second most destructive team in history, behind the Road Warriors, are in the ring at once.
Tenay: Lesnar and Goldberg have faced the best teams in history, the Road Warriors, the APA, the Brothers Destruction, and have defeated all of them. They even defeated all three teams in one match.
(As Goldber slides in, he sizes up Taker, and cuts him in half with a spear. As Taker tries to sit up, he yanks him to his feet and hits the Jackhammer.)
Jr: That...no one has ever negated the sit up before. In 30 years of destruction, no one has ever pulled him out of his sit up.
Tenay: I am genuinely speechless, JR.
(Signaling to Goldberg, the two men hit the F-Spear move, and toss Taker together.)
JR: And this is the destructive force of BrockBerg. No single man can stand up to them.
(As Brockberg manhandle the remaining men, the countdown ends and RVD is shuffled out.)
JR: RVD has had two defeats in the past month in the Rumble chase, both to Edge. He has defeated everyone in the Rumble roster he has faced to go from number 3 to number 32. That is maybe the most impressive manuevering in Rumble history.
Tenay: Let's not forget, though, he had the option to face Edge for the self determined slot, and he lost.
(RVD enters the fray as Cena manages to manuever Sting to the outside of the ropes. Sting fights off Cena, but Harris takes advantage but Harris Last Calls him off the apron.)
JR: Cena has just eliminated the Icon. This is one of the biggest hits of the match.
(As the fighting continues, we see Joe backstage destroying everything.}
Joe: WHERE IS THAT SON OF A BITCH?
(Foley confronts him."
Foley: We have already removed him from the arena. Joe, JOE! We will sort this out at a later date. But if you keep destroying my arena, you will be banned.
(Joe glares at him for a moment before storming off. As we cut back to the ring, the Rock's music hits.)
JR: The People's Champion is here.
Tenay: Rock may have only had one match in the past month, but it was a 6 man elimination match to guarantee a spot below 30. And Rock miraculously pinned all 5 other men himself.
(AS Rock gets in, he spinebusters multiple guys. With the final, he starts the people's elbow, but gets a spear from Edge for his troubles.)
Tenay: The most electrifying man in sports entertainment and Hollywood has just been shut down by an R rating.
JR: He almost broke him in half with that one Tenay.
(Before Edge can do anything else, Godfather dropkicks him. He flies forward and out between the ropes.)
Tenay: We remind you that Edge is still in this match because he went through the ropes, not over them.
(Harris tries to take advantage of the distraction, but Farooq interferes and pushes him back into Mark Henry for a World's Strongest Slam.)
JR: It appears we have another alliance, Tenay. The Old Nation of Domination is working together for one night only.
(Lesnar quickly lifts the fallen Harris, and f5s him right over the ropes.)
Tenay: That was insanely dangerous, JR. He's lucky he hit the apron instead of falling straight to the floor.
JR: Somehow I doubt he feels very lucky, Mike.
(Godfather helps Rock back up to his feet. The four men stand in the ring, arms raised.)
Tenay: Well, this is certainly bad news if you're not in the Nation. Nearly half of the ring is now working of one accord.
(As the four men start to single out other competitors, Raven's music hits, and he comes down to the ring, pushing his cart full of weapons.)
JR: Well, it seems Raven has an equalizer plan. Though this cannot be legal.
Tenay: There are no disqualifications in the Rumble, JR. He's not breaking the rules.
JR: It's certainly against the SPIRIT of the match.
Tenay: That may be, but, with the Nation temporarily reformed, desperate times call for desperate measures.
(Raven starts throwing all sorts of weapons into the ring, scattering the Nation, hitting them several times. He slides in with a chair and delivers a shot right to Henry's gut. He smashes it into Godfather's head, and then into Godfather's back. Then, as Rock rushes him, drops the chair and toeholds him facefirst into it.)
JR: None of these men came here tonight prepared for a hardcore match.
Tenay: And that's why it worked, JR. The Nation was effectively neutralized.
(Farooq grabs Raven from behind, choking him. But Raven pulls a chain out of his kilt, drops to a knee, and sqings it back into Farooq's groin.)
JR: Dirty pool!
Tenay: That's appropriate. After all, he did just rack his balls.
JR: Oh, Ha Ha. Very funny.
(Raven turns, wrapping the chain around his fist, and punches Farooq back towards the ropes. As he lays backwards on the edge, barely holding himself up, Raven grabs a road sign, and, running, cracks Farooq in the head with it, sending him spinning out of the ring. )
Tenay: Like it or not, that was effective.
JR: Put me in the not column.
Tenay: Three men allied may still be a pain, but at least it's not four.
(While he is distracted, Godfather quickly catches him in the Pimp Drop, right onto a trashcan he threw in.)
JR: Karma visits Raven. What goes around comes around.
(Before he can gloat, Goldberg runs up and tosses him over the ropes.)
Tenay: And the Nation has been cut in half!
(Stand back! There's a Hurricane coming through! And, like a bolt, he dashes to the ring.)
JR: After seeing that, Hurricane is appropriate. A lot of wrongs exist for a superhero to right.
Tenay: Stop it, JR. This man's no superhero. He's a mentally disturbed man in a Johnny Brock rental costume.
(He springs in, taking Rock out with a diving clothesline. He hits a shining Wizard on Cena, and tries to mount an offense against Henry, but is shoved off. )
Tenay: He may have bit off more than he can chew, JR.
(He keeps trying, and keeps getting tossed across the ring. Finally, Henry comes for him, and he dropkicks Henry's knee, sending him face first into the turnbuckle. Hurricane runs and hits a shining wizard to Henry's head in the corner.)
JR: Or maybe not. Hurricane has just felled the mighty Mark Henry.
(Raven tries to chair shot Hurricane, who dodges at the last moment, letting him hit the ropes which bounces the chair back into his face. Stunned, he turns in time for a shining wizard into the chair, which knocks him from the arena.)
(But his celebration is short lived. Edge slides back in and quickly tosses Hurricane over the top rope.)
Tenay: Edge has been out of the ring for so long, I almost forgot about him.
JR: And he used that to his advantage on poor Hurricane. He turned his moment of victory into defeat.
Tenay: That's what happens when you don't keep track of everyone. You have to have eyes in the back of your head in this kind of match.
JR: Just because I know that doesn't mean I have to like it.
(Arabic music fills the arena as Muhammad Hussein comes stalking to the ring. He goes to slide in, but Lesnar cuts him off. Backing up with his hands up, he stalls that.)
JR: Hussein is one of the most hated men in the ring today.
Tenay: He may not be likable, but Hussein almost destroyed the X Division about two years ago, with Team Anti-X at the World Cup. And then the following year, he captained Team Middle East, almost winning.
JR: I think that's one of many reasons people hate him.
Tenay: True, but it's still impressive how he faced all those high flyers, stepped out of his element and gave them the fights of their lives. After he impressively defeated Cactus Jack at last year's Wrestlemania, I'm sure he'd love to top that with a main event position this year.
(When Hussein keeps dodging Lesnar, Batista tries to take advantage from behind. Clubbing his back, he tries to gain position, but Lesnar spins around. and fights back.)
JR: While these two behemoths are tangling, Hussein is content to just sit outside and watch.
Tenay: Wouldn't you, JR? It's suicide to step between monsters like that.
(Lesnar gains the upper hand, taking Batista out. As he lines him up for elimination, Orton dives out of the crowd and into the ring.)
JR: The damned viper. He's not in this match.
Tenay: No, but he is protecting his investment. Batista is the New Blood's last chance to pull out a victory tonight.
(Lesnar feels him, and spins to face him right as he starts stalking. Caught, Orton pauses briefly and tries to play it off. When Lesnar steps forward, he goes for an Rko, but is sent flying across the ring. He quickly exits as Lesnar reaches for him over the ropes.)
JR: His little sneak attack didn't work.
(As he focuses on Orton, Batista comes up and tosses him out.)
Tenay: But that one did, JR.
(Orton boos up the ramp as fast as his legs can carry him, trying to get rid of the irate Lesnar. After a moment to clear the cobwebs, he follows. Goldberg stares in shock. As Batista celebrates, Hussein finally enters, and tosses Batista out as well.)
JR: Serves him right.
(Ezekiel Jackson's music hits. As he passes Batista, he sneers at him, mocking his elimination.)
Tenay: Numer 37, JR. We're nearing the end.
JR: And we get the largely unknown Jackson. We've seen him in a few impressive matches, but have had little to truly judge him yet.
Tenay: So far, he has ended all of his matches in less than 3 minutes.
JR: Not exactly the kind of staying power you need for this match.
Tenay: But as you have noted, we don't know enough to tell how he will do.
(Jackson slides in and focuses on Cena. The two brawl, going back and forth. On the other side, Goldberg starts pounding on Hussein.)
JR: It looks like Goldberg is blaming Hussein for his partner's loss.
Tenay: Everyone else involved is gone. He drew the short straw, I guess.
(Berg manages to get Hussein on his shoulder and runs him towards the ropes, but Hussein uses the momentum to catch the ropes and pull Goldberg over with him, eliminating him.)
Tenay: That's a massive coup for Hussein.
JR: No doubt, we'll be hearing how he defeated BrockBerg all by himself for the rest of the year.
Tenay: He DID have a hand in it, JR. And that's very impressive.
(Angle starts running to the ring seconds before his music hits. As Jackson notices, he is already in the ring, and has hooked him in an Olympic Slam right over the ropes.)
JR: And before anyone even notices he is there, Kurt Angle has eliminated the biggest remaining man.
Tenay: That's the first of his three Is, JR. Intelligence.
JR: You sure you don't mean cheat shotting?
Tenay: Of course not, JR. That doesn't begin with an I.
JR: Of course. Silly me.
(In disbelief, Jackson tries to climb back in, only to be stopped by the refs. Angle brushes him off.)
JR: It must've been arrogance.
Tenay: That's not an I either.
(Cena takes it to Angle as the rest of the men brawl. And the clock ticks slowly downward to the next entrant, Cactus Jack. HE comes out, tongue hanging manically, and does the finger guns to the crowd.)
JR: Bang Bang.
Tenay: Cactus's disregard for anyone's safety, including his own, makes him quite possibly the most dangerous character in this match.
JR: He is also Flair's last line of defense against the nWo. Hogan is the last man left, so Cactus has to last until he gets out here.
Tenay: I'm pretty sure Cactus wants more than to just defeat one man. He wants the prize, just like everyone else.
(Climbing the stairs, Cactus starts attacking Hussein before he even gets in. He tries to follow, but Henry floors him with a big splash as he gets in the ring.)
Tenay: You hear the old cliche about hitting the wall? Well, here, I think the wall just hit him.
(Hussein and Henry double team Cactus. Across the ring, Cena and Edge have been fighting. As it seems he is getting the upper hand, the Million Dollar Man comes to ringside. His appearance throws Cena who starts yelling "What are you doing here?")
JR: Cena's manager has come down? Why?
Tenay: It is certainly unorthodox, but, as we saw with Orton and Senshi, a little bit of rule bending can change the complexion of the Rumble.
(Debiase points at Edge and tells Cena to get rid of him. Shaking his head, Cena grabs Edge and pulls him to the ropes. As MDM yanks down on the top rope, Edge springs to life and reverses. Cena goes right over the ropes and lands hard. He looks at DeBiase in shock as Edge turns back to the match.)
Tenay: That...backfired badly.
JR: You think?
Tenay: And now Cena is irate with the Million Dollar Man. He's screaming in his face and pushing him.
JR: He did just cost him the Rumble.
Tenay: He was trying to help him JR.
JR: What is the road to hell paved with again?
(Finally, the clock counts down for the last time, and Hollywood Hulk Hogan comes out to the nWo;s theme.)
Tenay: Number 40 is here.
JR: And Ric Flair has to be fuming that the nWo secured the final spot of the rumble. All of his soldiers, except Cactus are long gone.
Tenay: But all of Hogan's are gone too.
JR: Ladies and gentlemen, one of these 9 men is going to be your number one contender at Wrestlemania. There are no more contestants. There are no more surprise twists. You no longer have to wait to see who else is coming. It is now merely a matter of being the last man standing.
Tenay: Is that all? You make it sound so simple.
(As Hogan nears the ring, Edge starts yelling at him.)
JR: We saw, earlier tonight, Hogan mock Edge for being first. I'd give you good luck, but you'll be long gone before I get out there. Edge told him, I'll not only see you there, I'll eliminate you myself.
Tenay: He's done the first part. Can he do the second?
(Edge tries to take out Hogan as he gets in, stomping away. But Hogan shakes it off, amping himself up as Edge hammers away. Finally, he stops and points, shaking his finger. Rather than follow the script, Edge hightails it. )
JR: What a coward.
Tenay: This is the essence of tactics, JR. If your opponent has you at a disadvantage, retreat and find a new battleground.
(Meanwhile, Eddie tries to take out Henry's legs. After several nasty kicks, he tries a springboard, only to be caught in mid-air. Henry World Strongest Slams him over the ropes to the apron, and he bounces to the floor.
JR: And we're down to 8.
Tenay: And yet again, we see how one mistake can cost you the Rumble. In a normal match, he could've rebounded, regrouped. But, here, once your feet hit the floor, it's over.
(As Henry is off balance, RVD tries to eliminate him. Henry fights back, but soon, Angle has joined in. Then Cactus. For a few minutes, it looks like Henry will fight them off, then Rock runs up, and helps toss him.)
JR: What the hell? The rock just helped eliminate Mark Henry. But, the Nation...
Tenay: Ended years ago, JR. It was convenient for a moment to reunite and use strength in numbers. But, at this point, alliances serve no purpose.
JR: Mark Henry is shocked. Look at him on the outside.
Tenay: He must've forgotten how the Rumble works. Alliances are temporary. And last time Rock won the Rumble, it was to take Henry's world title away.
(Little time is had to celebrate before Hogan hits the Big Boot on Cactus, knocking him over the top rope.)
Tenay: And with that, the nWo have outlasted Flair's pett hatred of them.
JR: Petty? PETTY? After all the nWo have done, not just to Flair, but to the very business itself? All of the men who joined Flar have been their victims.
Tenay: And the nWo have hurt them all over again. Hogan is brushing his hands off toward Cactus.
JR: For those of you at home, we have six men left.
(Edge tries to tangle with Hogan, but is tossed halfway across the ring, while Hogan flexes. Again he tries, with the same results. Finally, running at him again, he catches a big boot. Both Angle and RVD try to rush him, but are laid low, back and forth by a series of big punches.)
JR: Hogan is laying waste to everyone.
Tenay: This is the big advantage of number 40. Two or even four minutes may not seem like a long time. But, in the Rumble, it is an eternity. And while they have worn themselves down, Hulk is fresh.
(Hussein convinces Rock to double team Hogan. But, when Rock goes for him Hussein quickly tosses him out.)
JR: What a heartbreaker, to get so close, and then to lose to such an underhanded move.
Tenay: He should've known better than to trust Hussein. For that matter, he should've known better than to trust anyone at this stage.
(The refs try to get Rock out, but he shoves them aside and gets back in the ring. Spinning Hussein around, he hits a rock bottom. Then tossing his elbow pad, he signals for it...)
JR: The most electrifying move in sports entertainment.
Tenay: He's not even supposed to be in this match anymore.
JR: Orton wasn't supposed to be in it at all. Nor was Senshi. As you put it, there are no disqualifications. You go over the top rop, or you do not. The means don't matter.
(And that said, Rock hits the People's Elbow, and then removes both himself and Hussein over the top rope.)
JR: Rock just showed Hussein the price of double crossing him.
Tenay: And then there were four. Edge. Rob Van Dam. Hulk Hogan. And Kurt Angle. Each man has a 25% chance.
(Angle and RVD pair up while Edge and Hogan trade punches. For a minute, it seems like Angle is going to get the better of RVD, but while he has him on the ropes, Sylvester Turkay's music plays.)
Tenay: He's not even in this match. What's he doing coming out here?
JR: It doesn't appear that he is, Tenay. The stage is empty.
(But Angle lets go of RVD to face the stage. The moment break allows Van Dam to wrap his legs around Angle's neck and leverage him over the ropes. )
JR: Turkay just caused a massive distraction that has removed Angle from this match. He let him taste victory, only to snatch it away.
Tenay: This is an unprecedented night of interference and Rumble rule bending.
JR: Or, as you were saying earlier, strategy.
(Edge tries to take advantage and spear RVD, but he moves and kicks Edge is the face. Edge staggers back, right into Hogan, who has removed his belt and proceeds to whip Edge mercilessly.)
Tenay: This is how bad all three of these men want this, JR. There is no method too crude, no means too far, that they won't use.
JR: Including what would be cheating in a normal match.
Tenay: Including that. We have Edge, who won a unique over the top Battle Royale, where the final two had to battle in a normal match. That saw Edge defeat RVD. The winner got his choice of spot, and the loser was #1.
JR: But Edge demanded the number one spot himself, to make history.
Tenay: And Rob Van Dam became number two. Over the next six weeks, he fought his way up to number 32 by knocking off other competitors.
JR: And Hulk Hogan, lucky number 40. He has largely escaped the battles this Rumble season by using the nWo to do his dirty work for him.
Tenay: Being in charge has it's perks.
JR: He is not just the freshest man in this match. He is the freshest in this season. He only had two matches, both of which he won in under a minute due to the nWo's wolfpack mentality.
(Hogan proceeds to choke Edge out with the belt. As they struggle, RVD climbs the turnbuckle and delivers a Van Daminator to Hogan. As Edge collapses, he gets a Rolling Thunder to the back. RVD pauses to get a chant from the crowd with his thumbs.)
JR: And he reminds us why he is the "Whole F'n Show".
Tenay: You can believe Hogan won't make that mistake again of taking his eye off of RVD.
(RVD tries to spinkick Hogan, but is caught, and lifted into a side powerbomb, dropped right on Edge. Doing his signature taunt of listening to the crowd on each side, Hogan bounds off the Ropes and delivers a leg drop to both.)
JR: The Hollywood Leg Drop just got a double showing.
Tenay: While RVD took the worst of that, you can't imagine Edge is unaffected.
(Stunned, Edge manages to slide out from under RVD. Hogan starts shoving his face, taunting him. Weary, Edge throws a wild hail mary punch which barely clips Hogan. Hogan's eyes go wide and he starts shaking his head.)
JR: OH no, it's time. He's going into that mode.
Tenay: Edge is trying to put him away, but he's Hulking up.
(As Edge follows him around the ring, hitting ineffectual punches, Hogan finally stops and points. He catches Edge's blow and starts hammering his forehead with rights. )
JR: It's all over but the fat lady singing.
(Whipping him into the ropes, Hogan prepares for the big boot. But, at the last secong, Edge explodes back and spears him out of the move.)
Tenay: Oh my god, JR! We have just witnessed history. Never before has anyone countered the Hulking up finale, let alone by taking Hulk out.
JR: Edge has certainly shown not only that he deserves to be in Wrestlemania, but that he is truly one of the greatest of all time.
(As Hulk writhes on the ground, holding his ribs, Edge tries to drag him to the ropes. Slowly, he lifts him, and starts trying to oust him. But, out of nowhere, RVD runs up and executes a spinning wheel kick, knocking Edge to the apron.)
Tenay: RVD again reinserts himself.
(A modified rolling thunder ending in a dropkick sends Edge hurling off the apron and into the barracade.)
JR: He was so close.
Tenay: Look at his face, JR. Can you imagine the heartbreak of outlasting 37 other men, only to be eliminated at the very end?
JR: He had the main event of Wrestlemania in his grasp, and snatched cruelly away.
(RVD shrugs and gives him a "better luck next time, man.")
Tenay: And RVD returns the favor, taking out Edge at the very end. It's a mirror image of their first match.
JR: And he couldn't help but rub some salt into the wound.
Tenay: I'm sure that elimination is the best one of the night for Rob. A little bit of payback.
(Hogan runs up and double ax handles RVD. He quickly lifts him into a suplex, but RVD fights, kneeing him in the head before he can get vertical. Losing it, Hogan desposits him on the apron.)
JR: Hogan is feeling it. He is instants away from Wrestlemania. Can you imagine Hulk Hogan vs Shawn Michaels?
Tenay: How do you know he wouldn't choose the WWF Title?
JR: If it's held by Scott Hall?
Tenay: That's a big if. Triple H vs Hollywood Hogan would be quite the match too. But, it makes sense. If it's Hall, he guarantees that the belt stays in the nWo.
JR: And if he chooses Michaels, he has a chance to regain both titles.
(Catching Hogan's punch, RVD issues a forceful jamp kick to Hogan's bald head. He tries to lift Hogan for a suplex of his own, but Hogan grabs the ropes, and he's forced to drop him on the apron as well. The two men begin throwing punches. )
JR: This is high risk for both men. One wrong step separates the main event of Wrestlemania from missed opportunity.
(Hogan starts pummeling Rob, each blow making him wobblier. When RVS is barely hanging onto the ropes, Hogan goes for a simple shove, but RVD catches his arm. A quick wheel kick rocks him, and, before he can recover, Rob drops and sweeps his legs out from under him. )
Tenay: And Hogan is eliminated.
JR: Rob Van Dam has done it. Rob Van Dam is going to Wrestlemania.
Tenay: That was certainly a wild ride, folks. We have not seen a Rumble that unpredictible before, and we may never see it again.
(RVD celebrates in the ring, getting the crowd to chant RVD, as "One of a kind" plays through the arena. Mounting the turnbuckle, he points to the Wrestlemania sign in the corner before backflipping back in and resuming the RVD chants.)
JR: As exciting as that was, we have one more to come, ladies and gentlemen.
Tenay: The WWF Title is up for grabs between Scott Hall and Triple H. No Holds Barred.
("Once the best of friends." The Cliq is shown, hands held high, the night before the Outsiders went to WCW. Hall and Triple H are shown hugging. "Now, the worst of enemies." We see Triple H come into the nWo locker room.)
Triple H: Congratulations on the big win, Scott.
Hall: (gripping the title tight to his shoulder) Hunter. Thanks.
Triple H: So, now that you're the man, surely your old friend can get a shot.
Hall: And which friend would that be?
Triple H: Me, Scott. I'm asking you to give me a title match.
Hall: (sneering, he steps closer to whisper) And why in the hell would I do that?
(The image fades to Triple H standing in the ring, mic in hand.)
Triple H: It's good to see that Hall has forgotten the people that made him. He has forgotten those who helped him get where he is today. The Cliq is what made Scott Hall, what put him on the map. He would not have that title today, but for the Cliq.
(Hall's music hits, and he storms out to the stage.)
Hall: Hey yo. Did I hear you right? You think you made me?
Triple H: I think the cliq made you.
Hall: The Outsiders WERE the Cliq. I was a household name before the Cliq ever formed. If the Cliq made anyone, PAUL, it was you. You were nothing but a mascot. You were Shawn's little buddy, following us around like a puppy. The Cliq was Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, Shawn Michaels, and that other kid.
Triple I was far more...
Hall: You were nothing! You were a joke that Shawn felt sorry for, and let hang out with us. THe Cliq put YOU on the map, Paul. The rest of us were already huge. No one would even know who you are if we hadn't turned the blue blood into the game.
Triple H: And yet, I'm the man who made WWF.
Hall: Oh please. You didn't matter until you screwed your way into the title picture. We made the business, you ran it into the ground. And you're just mad because Ted Turner said you were a waste of money. We were wanted, you weren't.
(We see HHH facing off against Steiner and Hart.)
JR: After a month of trying, Hunter got Hall to give him a shot if he wins this match.
Tenay: But he's against the best in the business on technical skill. And two of them at that. Odds look less than promising.
(The two men dismantle HHH, but he slowly starts to make a come back. Hall jumps up from the announcer's table as HHH goes for the Pedigree, and uses a cattle prod to stun him. Steiner Pump Handle Slams him and chokes him out with the Steiner Recliner.)
JR: Damn Hall. This was a set up the whole time.
Tenay: One would expect that the Cerebral Assassin would've seen this coming.
(Hall raises Hart and Steiner's hands over the body of HHH. We cut to Hall backstage giving an interview, when HHH slams the sledgehammer into his gut, then breaks it over his back as he falls. Stone Cold and HBK join in on a three on one beatdown.)
Triple H: You like being triple teamed, Scott? You like being kicked while you're down?
(There's another recap of the Elite vs nWo match, but this package focuses on Hall destroying HHH on the outside as Steiner gets the win, running him into the stairs and suplexing him through the announcers table. All three men raise their hands. We see Hall's celebration on Raw get cut short by HHH.)
Triple H: You got the victory last night, but YOU did not beat ME.
Hall: Accept that you lost, PAUL. You got another shot you didn't deserve, and you wasted it. But at least you didn't have to have sex with me to get it like you did good ol' Vincey boy.
(Legends Rise begins playing as we see the feud escalate. The Elite attack Hall in the locker room, smashing his leg in the door. Hall spraypaints HHH's face after a match and beats him with his own sledgehammer. HHH jumps over the barracade before Hall's match and Pedigrees him on the stairs, letting the other man pin him.)
Triple H: For all his talk about me being a nobody, Scott is doing everything in his power to dodge me, to hide, to run. Because Scott Hall is scared. He knows I;m the better man. And, if he faces me for the title, that I will be champion, not him.
Hall: Just like years ago, Paul is trying to ride my coattails and make himself big because of me. It really didn't work the first time, and it won't work now. He wasn't good enough for WCW. He wasn't the guy anyone went to to be the man until there was no one else, and Stephy went to bat for him. And he's not good enough today.
(Hunter Pedigrees Hall through a table. Hall assaults HHH getting out of his car and slams the door on him repeatedly. Hall gets all of the Elite's finishers. HHH gets jacknifed off the stage. The two men brawl in the ring, in the back, in the parking lot. )
Hall: This match isn't about keeping my title. This is about hurting Paul. Breaking him, showing him he was never in my league. It's not enough to pin Paul. I want to see him bleed. I want to hear him cry in pain. I want to see him try to stand and realize he can't.
Triple H: I want to wipe the smug ass smile off his face, with my sledgehammer.
Foley: If you two want to kill each other so bad, I'll let you do it. The match is a Street Fight, with all of your little friends banned from ringside. No countouts, no disqualifications, no rope break. No rules at all. You two beat the hell out of each other until only one is left standing.
Hall: A game with no rules isn't much of a game at all.
Triple H: Witty, we'll see if you're still so funny after I bash in all your teeth at the Rumble.
(We see both men staring each other down as Hall raises the belt.)
(We cut back to the ring, where "Hey yoooooo" blares, desolving into the nWo's theme song. Scott Hall comes prancing out in his signature style, holding the belt in front of him and a spray can behind him in the black and white filter. As he reaches the top of the ramp, he throws his arms wide.)
JR: It is almost unheard of that the champ comes out first.
Tenay: This is a statement by Hall. He always leads. He is always first. Triple H can only hope to follow him. There is nowhere Triple H has gone that Hall hasn't be first.
JR: Even the entrance is a slap in the face, then.
Tenay: These two men have sought to destroy each other, one up each other for six weeks. Whether it's verbal, physical, vandalism, or symbolic, they have devoted every waking moment to degrading and dismissing the other.
(Getting into the ring, Hall drops both items and pumps himself up before throwing his arms wide again. Picking the belt up again, he raises it high.)
Hall: "I entered first as the champ, I'll leave first as the champ. Paul will enter last and leave first, both times as a chump"
JR: Classy.
Tenay: Neither of these men has claimed they want to be the bigger man, just the better. This has been a race to the bottom as they each try to take a slightly lower road that the last.
(The lights go down, and all spotlights hit the stage. "Behold the King. The king of Kings. On your knees dog." A massive throne raises from the stage, HHH wearing a regal cape and wicked looking crown. He holds his sledgehammer as a scepter.)
JR: First Scott Steiner is a Mad Max Knight, and now Triple H is a raider king.
Tenay: He said tonight was a coronation, the crowning of a new king. Apparently, he has decided to come dressed for the occasion. Speaking it into power as the religious would say.
(Tossing off the massive viking robes, he stalks to the ring, sledge in hand.)
JR: Both men are all business. This will be a war.
Tenay: You're going to see a classic tonight.
(HHH gets in the ring, but before the ref can start, Hall flicks his toothpick into HHH's face. Holding his eye, HHH spins and seethes, holding his eye and snarling.)
Tenay: This is not just about winning. This about humiliating the other man, totally defeating him. Both men have stated they want more than just a W tonight. They want undisputed, complete domination of their opponent.
Jr: That may have been a poor choice on how to start the match. Triple H is fuming.
(HHH swings with his hammer, but Hall has dived out of the ring. He taps his head, showing the crowd how much smarter he is than HHH.)
Tenay: Disrespect upon disrespect.
JR: Unfortunately for Hall, if he was actually smarter than Triple H, he'd probably have kept trach of where Hunter is.
(Hunter spins Hall around and slams the hammer into his gut, just as the bell rings.)
JR: And Triple H starts the match by ringing Hall's bell.
Tenay: You've been waiting all night for that one haven't you.
JR: All month actually.
(HHH hits Hall several times, then facebusters him on his knee before grabbing him and Russian leg sweeps him into the stairs. As Hall writhes in pain, HHH hits a running knee into his head, bouncing it off the steel stairs.)
Tenay: We knew this match was going to be physical. But Hunter is taking the fight to Hall immediately. We're starting at "dear God, why would you do that to someone?" I can only imagine where it will go from here.
(Taunting him, HHH backs up and runs at Hall with the hammer, but Hall ducks and backdrops HHH onto the ridges of the stairs. As HHH arches in agony, Hall climbs to the apron and drops an elbow onto Hunter, compounding the pain and flipping him off the stairs. )
JR: Matches like this tend to get worse and worse. And these two men have horrible intentions for each other.
(Hall reaches into his boot and pulls out a set of brass knucks. HE pulls up HHH and locks him in the abdominal stretch.)
Tenay: Not exactly where I thought that would go once he pulled out the brass knockles.
(Once he has the hold on, Hall starts hammering away at HHH's exposed ribs. Bruises immediately start forming from the onslaught.)
JR: This unique offense is exactly what we would expect from this rivalry. These two men have stayed up nights thinking of new ways to hurt each other, to break each other. And we're seeing the opening stages of that.
Tenay: He could break ribs this way, injure organs. Take away a man's core and you limit his ability to move. Without a strong back and stomach, you can't lift your opponent.
(The ref asks HHH if he's done, if he'll tap, but HHH screams no. Reaching back, he grabs Hall's crotch and twists. Hall howls and lets go.)
Tenay: That's nasty, JR, but it's all legal in this match.
JR: Desparate times call for desparate measures. And it doesn't get much worse than what Hunter was in. He had to do something just to stay alive.
(HHH rushes Hall and runs him back first into the ring post. He reaches under the ring and grabs a chair, using it to flatten Hall's head against the post. As he collapses, HHH slams the chair against his back until it bends.)
JR: Good lord, the human body isn't meant to sustain that kind of damage.
Tenay: And we're just getting started, JR. It's going to get way worse.
(Setting the chair up, he drop toe holds Hall into the chair. He lifts him for a half spinebuster before they both collapse onto the chair, breaking it.)
JR: Human flesh loses to cold hard steel once again.
Tenay: But you have to wonder who got hurt more. Hunter's back gave out on him half way through. He's clutching at himself more than Hall.
JR: I think that's because Hall is in shock.
(After several seconds, HHH rolls over and covers Hall, but he kicks out at two.)
Tenay: Had Triple H not been too injured to make the cover immediately, this might be over.
JR: Even with the time to recover, he barely kicked out.
(Hall crawls away, sliding off his gold chain and wrapping it around his fist. HHH tries to pull him back, but Hall spins and clocks him, dropping him. Struggling to his feet, he lets the chain dangle and starts whipping HHH across the chest, then, when he rolls over, his back.)
Tenay: Triple H fancies himself a king, but Hall is treating him like a slave.
(Placing his knees in HHH's spine, he wraps the chain around his neck, and creates a hardcore version of the Mexican Surfboard.)
JR: That is diabolical.
Tenay: He said he wanted to beat Triple H like he's never been beat before. He told "Paul" that he had never faced a champion like him before, and that he had never had a fight like his before. He is proving that now.
(After a minute or so of diminishing struggles, the ref raises Triple H's hand and drops it. After the second time, as the ref goes for the third, Hall drops the chain.)
JR: What is he doing?
Tenay: Apparently, he doesn't feel he has made the point yet.
(Hall drags HHH over to the stairs and places him face down. Climbing to the stairs, he prepares for another assault.)
JR: This isn't necessary. He's down, defeated.
Tenay: This is about proving once and for all Triple H isn't his equal. Winning isn't enough.
(He climbs up to the second rope, and gives HHH the DX crotch chop.)
Tenay: It's not enough I guess. He has to cripple him, break him completely.
JR: Don't do it Scott. You can end this without this.
(He jumps off for a stomp, but HHH moves at the last second. Hall's leg crumples and he falls to the ground screaming.)
Tenay: High risk, no reward.
JR: Serves him right. He could've ended this by now. He chose to try and end Hunter, and it backfired on him, big time.
(HHH manages to grab Hall and delivers a knee breaker onto the stairs before suplexing him backwards into the barracade. Both men lay in a lifeless heap.)
Tenay: These two men are so intent on hurting each other that they may end their own careers in the process.
JR: It's already starting to look like the Tales From the Crypt episode where the two gunfighters play chop poker.
Tenay: I've never seen that.
JR: It ends ugly.
(HHH grabs a chair and puts Hall's leg through it, closing it around his ankle. He starts stomping it. Then, he grabs his hammer and starts smashing it.)
JR: There goes the ankle. Chop. One limb down.
Tenay: Take out the leg and there's no offense. Ugly, but effective.
(Holding his ribs, HHH falters. He climbs to the apron as Hall tries to crawl away. Following him around, HHH watches Hall drag a metal crowd barrier out and knock it over trying to get up. Letting Hall right himself, HHH dives at Hall, but is caught.)
JR: I can't believe that he was able to do that. He's barely able to stand.
Tenay: He's being fueled sheerly by spite. Hall simply cares more about hurting Hunter than his own well being. If it was anyone else, he couldn't do this.
(Limping away, Hall faces away from the barrier, and uses all his strength to Fallaway Slam HHH right onto the metal barrier. He rolls over for the pin.)
JR: Good lord, that has to be it. That's worse than anything we saw in the Hardcore Title match.
(HHH barely kicks out almost as the three count huts.)
Tenay: That could not have been any closer.
JR: The heart of these two men is amazing.
Tenay: It's not heart, JR. Get it right. It's hate.
(HHH starts to crawl beneath the ring, but Hall pulls him back. As he's dragged out, Hunter has a wrench, which he slams into Hall's knee staggering him. As Hall tries to escape, HHH dives at his knee, driving all his weight into it, and then slingshots him into the ring post.)
JR: At this rate we're not going to have a winner tonight. We're going to have two losers taken out on stretchers.
Tenay: You underestimate how fueled these men are by anger, JR. The spite will flow through their veins, even if the blood stops.
(The cerebral assassin breaks the stairs apart, following Hall as he flees. As he makes his way to the table, HHH slams the stairs into his face, knocking him senseless onto the table.)
JR: We're reaching the climax I think.
Tenay: Hunter wants to put an exclamation point on the victory.
(He climbs up and prepares to AA spinebuster him through the table, but Hall fights back, and locks HHH in a guillotine, legs wrapped around his waist.)
Tenay: JR, evertime one man seems to have it in hand, the other pulls out the reserves and turns it around.
JR: This has been the entire feud. No obvious leader. Just back and forth. Back and forth.
(HHH tries to punch his way out, but is only hitting the table, getting weaker with each hit. Hall releases the hold and drops off the table, arms raised in victory.)
JR: What is he doing?
Tenay: I think he thinks Hunter tapped.
(Hall grabs the belt and starts to walk away when the ref grabs it back and has to explain that HHH never tapped. As they argue, HHH slides up and low blows Hall again. While he's staggered, he chop blocks his leg.)
JR: Hunter's going hard after his manhood.
Tenay: Well, it's part of the dynamic. Ruin the manhood, you ruin the man.
(HHH drags Hall over to the bottom half of the stairs and Pedigrees him on them. There's a cover. The fans start a Holy crapchant. )
JR: If you did this to a death row inmate, it would be considered cruel and unusual punishment.
(Hall kicks out at 2 15/16.)
Tenay: It would also put the average man down.
(Frustrated, HHH pulls Hall to the apron. Looking at the table he starts to lift Hall in a suplex.)
JR: Oh god. This is getting insane.
Tenay: Nothing else is putting him down. He;s going for the final blow.
(As HHH goes for the suplex, Hall fights back, forcing HHH to drop it. They brawl briefly on the apron, then Hall catches HHH in a Fallaway Slam off the apron through the announce table. The fans start chanting, this is awesome.)
JR: This is indeed awesome. This is brutality, yes, but it is grit. It is determination. It is everything that makes the title worth possessing.
Tenay: You see violence. Others see courage, and strength , and beauty.
(Hall crawls to the cover, but, somehow, HHH kicks out.)
JR: You are kidding me. How? HOW?
Tenay: This matters more to these two men than anything else in the world.
(Falling to his knees, Hall beseeches the ref, holding up three fingers. The ref shoots him down, telling him two.)
Tenay: Right now, Hall is wondering what it is going to take.
JR: Hall? EVERYONE is wondering what will put Triple H down.
(In frustration, Hall pulls up HHH, but, somehow, he starts fighting back. Hall retreats, with a woozy HH staggering after him. He slides in the ring, and quickly exits when HHH follows. He heads up the ramp with HHH staggering after him.)
JR: Something bad is coming.
(When they get to the top of the ramp, Hall turns and uses the spraypaint he picked up in Hunter's eyes. As HHH stumbles, blinded, Hall kicks him in the balls and pushes a speaker off the stage. HE pulls HHH in and signals for the Outsider's Edge.)
JR: Oh God, not this.
Tenay: It...nothing else has worked. He is pulling out the final trick.
(Hall tosses HHH off the stage right onto the speaker, which sparks like crazy.)
JR: He just electrocuted the Game.
Tenay: I...I don't know what we just saw.
(Hall covers for the three. The ref raises his hand.)
JR: Scott Hall has just won one of the most brutal battles we have ever seen. He is the WWF Champion still.
Tenay: This is, by far, one of the most vicious, most sadistic title matches we have ever seen.
JR: It was everything we expected and more.
Tenay: Hall has done it. In the biggest match of the year so far, Scott Hall has retained the WWF Title.
(Hall pauses at the base of the ramp to celebrate, raising the title the ref has given him. But before he can enjoy it too much, Michaels has jumped the barrier and delivered sweet Chin Music. Draping Hall's Belt above his chest, HBK poses above Hall with the WCW belt held high.)
JR: Ladies and gentlemen, if teh slobberknocker you just saw wasn't enough, the WCW champion has just laid out the WWF champion!
Tenay: I cant wait to see what this means come Raw, JR.
(We fade to black with HBK standing over Hall.)