Depression

[kennyw86v2]

Since I was in my early 20s I've suffered from depression. I'm sure it was much longer than that, but that's when it became unbearable. I tried to end things once, and in one of those wouldn't believe it unless you saw it scenarios...I failed.

I've lived a good enough life since then. I managed to control my bad days well enough to stay off meds for the last 12 years.

But lately...times have been harder and more trying than ever before. I've been drinking straight liquor like water, I cant sleep without pills, I eat so little I've lost 20 pounds, I cant focus on anything.

I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else here has to fight this battle? And if anyone has any advice or suggestions?

[~*Young $ Money*~]

I think everyone has had to fight depression in some form or level. I know I faced it and put on a lot of weight. Have you tried going to talk to someone professionally?

[K5]

I think making sure you are communicating with others often and engaging in the world is half the battle.

best of luck, I can relate.

[kennyw86v2]

Oct 12, 2020 19:21:12 GMT -5 ~*Young $ Money*~ said:

I think everyone has had to fight depression in some form or level. I know I faced it and put on a lot of weight. Have you tried going to talk to someone professionally?

I cant seem to get in anywhere until the end of the month. It's been miserable trying to make an appointment

[Quazimoto]

Literally been battling it my whole life. Caused a serious pill addiction for a while. Tried killing myself at least twice (honestly think I succeeded the once, but was sent back, but that's a story for some other time). Meds never worked and always either made me sick physically or made the negative thoughts worse.

In all honesty, it will never go away completely and NO ONE will ever understand unless they live with it themselves. That said, it can and does get better. Sometimes it gets better, then worse, then better again, and so on. Point is, it's not always soon and gloom. The real trick is not to try and solve it quick and easy. That doesn't work. Instead, try for healthy distractions to get you through a little bit at a time. Maybe a week or a day or just an hour. Alcohol and drugs are probably not a great idea. I mean, alcohol is literally a depressant and almost always only makes things worse and drugs can and often do lead to health problems which mostly just make you feel worse. So, find something simple to get you through a little bit ata time. Sounds typical, but music, movies, tv shows, games, and books help me. Sometimes one doesn't work as well as it did for a while, but usually at least one of those will help provide me with an escape for a bit.

It's probably a good idea to seek some sort of therapy. It can be hard to find a type and therapist that works for you, but when you do, it will probably help at least a little. I've never personally found psychotherapy helpful, but have honestly found cognitive behavioural therapy beneficial (really never thought I'd say those words a few years ago).

Most importantly, remember that feeling depressed is okay sometimes and doesn't have to last forever. If you allow yourself to wallow in it and let negative thoughts and actions fester it will get worse and worse. But, if you take some steps to better those feelings or even just temper them until they pass, it will get better. The key is really just finding those small mpments of joy among the chaos of a troubled mind and focus on those good/enjoyable things instead of the ones that cause pain and struggle

[The Real Valbroski]

I'm sorry to hear that buddy. I genuinely hope you get through everything you're going through. I haven't personally been at the point you're at now but I do know what it feels like to be really really low on yourself and having thoughts of what it would be like to just give up. It can make everyday things like just getting out of bed and maintaining healthy relationships some of the hardest things in the world.

[Kill Em' All]

Honestly man, I been going through a lot of it lately. And I have had some vicious past battles. But I always like talking and helping other people and finding comfort in talking to others. Hit me up and PM me if you ever wanna talk. I always like talking and meeting new people. But, other things man going on long walks really helped me. Working out, or focusing on progressive side goal. Like, working on attribute to yourself you wanna chance. Physically/Mentally. Becoming enamored at new side hobby.

[vampiroporvida]

It is a lifelong battle for me, and it gets worse when my stress levels are too high, and the stressors won't fade. I wish I had some answers for you, but I barely make it too.

[bad guy™]

~*Young $ Money*~ is right in the sense that EVERYONE goes through at least a bout with depression. But that short term depression is more likely related to either a major mistake you made, grief for someone you're super close to passing...hell, not to turn this political but this is just a factual statement that after the 2016 Presidential election in America and the subsequent fallout, the American Psychological and Psychiatric Association put out their yearly stats the February after everything was over and therapy sessions for fried, depression, and anxiety climbed something like 250% because of it. The short term depression is still depression, but it's stress based if you're able to overcome it after a while.

In my case, I've been on a variety of anti anxiety, anti Compulsion, and SSRI medications for about 13 years now and I'm still depressed, sometimes manic, and compulsive but before I started the meds I was at a 19/10 all the time. It takes meds months to start working, but you do notice a difference. When you're CHRONICALLY depressed, your brain is stuck in a chemical imbalance your neurotransmitters are firing off your dopamine at regular or high intervals, but your seretonin is either transmitting very minuscule amounts, or you're flat out not producing any at all in your brain. Too much serotonin makes you manic. Too little causes depression. SSRIs and MAOIs can fix that in most people after a while, but every case may vary. They FORCE your brain to make it, and help the neurotransmitters find ways to get the serotonin to wherever it needs to go without getting stuck and dying. The brain stem.

If this feeling keeps up for a few more weeks, get an appointment with a shrink or a CBG therapist and they'll have a test for you to do, some are "Have you been depressed for mote than a wrrk'kimd of questions but the rest are your cognitive abilities like Rorschach tests. They don't care what you see, no answer is wrong. But the answers you give help them get an understanding as to the severity and it may conclude with a CT scan so they can see what parts of your brain are giving off more heat than others, and what parts are either totally dormant blue, or almost grey if the neurotransmitters carrying the dopamine excess has dumped the excess off in a lobe it isn't supposed to go to.

That said, may be a doctor, but not in the medical field. I can only tell you what I've been told. And while person by person basis is obviously drastically different, a lot of the tests and stuff I mentioned are universal,

I wish you the best of luck on your journey, regardless which path that you're forced to tread. My PMs are always open. I can't give medical advice, but I've been battling depression and OCD for over a dozen years so I can at least commiserate even if you just want to talk about basic things that are going on and not just what doctors may tell you if this does keep up.

[RSCTom]

Sorry to hear you're going through this. Also great to see so many folks here openly discussing this without issue. Best thing to do is talk it out.

As someone who has gone through different forms of treatment for this one of the best things I can tell you is that you're not alone. One of the only bits of advice I can give you from personal experience is to do your best to drop the alcohol. There are no circumstances, within multiple situations, that alcohol has ever helped or improved this for me. Not only that, the physical effect it has just isn't worth it. I'm not going to tell you to go ahead and just start working out after you drop it and all that (easier said than done), but I would bet it's going to be at least a slight improvement to stop drinking.

Here's a talk I was able to give for a great group called Moonlighter's Club where I do touch on depression a bit and the difficulties it causes.



Keep your head up, keep fighting it and when you have opportunities to feel good or at least balanced, make sure you take them!

[D Rock]

Everyone really gave some heartfelt advice.

Personally, I've found the key is to openly discuss your thoughts with someone you trust. Speaking your thoughts aloud can be quite freeing even you don't think the person understands you.
Also, find joy through your hobbies. I've gotten lost in plenty of tv shows and old wrestling matches. I also went through a phase in the early 2000's of having quite the figure fed. That really allowed me to escape in a good way.
My last piece of advice is make sure you get plenty of exercise. Exercise can really get your mind and body in the right place. Light therapy might also be of benefit with the season changing.

I wish you well.
-David

[bizzclizz4life]

Been battling it, bi polar disorder, and anxiety all my life bro. I feel your pain and trust me, there are people out there who want to help. Finding them is the tough part. I am lucky because I am a veteran and I was able to find amazing mental health care through the VA. Like people have said, the best thing you can do is sit down and talk with someone. I am in a group that meets every 2 weeks through the VA. We discuss what we are feeling and get tips from others on how to cope. It has worked wonders for me. Before I sought out help, I was an overbearing bunghole because I used being a bunghole to cover my depression because I didn't want people to think I am weak. Well bro, you...I, nor anyone who suffers from depression are weak.

If you need to reach out and chat, hit me up in the DM's and I can lend an ear.

[Jim Cornette’s Wendy’s Order🍔]

To drop my thoughts on this, I agree with others that have said everyone seems to experience some form of depression at points in their life. Having said that, I think it is at different levels for different individuals. From late 2017 till around mid 2020 I battled with depression, so I understand the struggle you are feeling. My saving grace was getting out there, speaking to others and surrounding myself with positive, upbeat people who kept me from slipping.

Any negativity around you can really bring you down - a relationship, job, stress you are carrying, that negativity can come in many different forms. That, for me, was what I believed sparked my depressive episodes and feelings for those few years.

Having said all that, I just want to let you know that you aren’t alone and there are others here who you can always drop a line to. Feel free to message me to talk anytime, I’m always down to chat about anything and help if I can 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[Only1TH2]

Also battle with depression to this date. Life is trash, I’m bored, I don’t care to be anything, I’m just kind of here because I’m here. I don’t have an answer to your question. You just gotta get to the point where you ask yourself what do you want and what do you want to do, then do it. I find being productive in just any way is good for the mind. If you keep your mind idle I feel it creates those problems in your head so you have something to solve. Either create or destroy my friend. Get your mind right, work on your physical, and do things you are afraid to do. Don’t let fear get you into not moving mentally or physically. If your gonna drink attach something positive an activity or a chore or a job before you hit the bottle. Let your mind attach liquor as a reward for doing something good rather than just an escape mechanism. This is where I’m at right now with my vice of choice. If I had more I would drop it for you. Your alive for a reason, even if your not you whatever you are chose to be here so until your meant to go, keep going.

[HandsomeHollywood]

I was diagnosed with major depression (though I think it's really bipolarity I've been dealing with) at the age of 13. I'm now 32. School was tough. I ended up dropping out of high school when I was 2-3 months away from graduation. Never went back to finish until I was 26.

I was never great at taking meds. I just don't. I'm also terrible at talking about it. I have mostly been burying it down and white knuckling it for almost a decade and it's been going decent. Life is good, I have a house, will be getting married soon. The issue for me is that my baseline is incredibly low. I'm rarely ever excited or devastated. Just a dial tone. Rarely anything moves the needle.

My advice would be to try to find a balance in your life where you can fill your plate with what you know you can handle, but all the time. Keeping busy helps me a lot. When I have downtime I work on custom figures because it's time consuming and makes me happy. Yard work is good, as well as taking the lead on the cooking and cleaning. Also, take sick days for your mental health when you need too.

[rsh]

I get depressed during the winter (but never before the holidays), typically by the beginning of February. I’ve learned over time that if I take a week vacation to somewhere sunny and warm in January, that helps me a lot, and gets me through the rest of the winter. I just need a break from the cloudy winter here. When I get older I will likely spend more of the winter in warmer weather. I’ve always wondered if some snowbirds suffer from depression during the winter months, so they head south. Magnesium and vitamin D helps alot (read more here)

[The Lion's Den]

One thing I have to say, is this forum always came together for those in troubled times. This is a perfect example of support and affirmation that you are not alone and that is in fact very relatable to feel how you're feeling.

Life is difficult, but we make it through with good support like this. I too have had challenges like some others, and I can understand the mood swings, the highs and lows, that struggle for the smallest things, or the feeling of being misunderstood and there isn't help out there. The first positive sign is that you shared it with us, you shared with a group of people who have similar feelings and that's a great first step. It takes time to change some of these feelings without the use of medication but it takes incremental steps to progress. I took some time to talk to someone, and it wasn't even that he could offer me advice that was revolutionary but talking it out, telling someone how I felt was such a cathartic feeling. I finally started to feel less trapped. I hope you can talk to someone who will listen and let you clean your system.

Keep thinking of that idea of feeling good. Fill it with healthy distractions if you can, changing diet, changing routine, little changes to set a new norm without overwhelming the system. Keep your eye on the big picture.


Be proud of the fact that you reached out took steps in the right direction.

[TheHitmanKid]

I always think depression can be extinguished if you don't push everyone away or try to be a loner. It does help to ask for help, or to talk to someone who won't judge. Things like this thread, really shows that people do care even if a thought pops in your head that they don't.

Depression is def up and down depending on the person and situation. Everyone gets it but if nobody knows you need help; how can someone come though to get you out of it. (I dont mean you, more the person)

[»ŠlÏ€k«]

It's a battle we all probably deal with depression in a different way.
Also it could be due to the winter weather and it's always dark out. Maybe see if you can start using vitamin d regularly and maybe exercise has been shown to help to.

[shanieomaniac]

Hi, I'm diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses and I can tell you that the past year has been utter hell on all of them.

I know how everyone talks about how 2020 has been a dumpster fire, but even my psych doc says that it's been terrible for those with MI. Coronavirus isn't only killing people directly - there's a ton of people dying from the side effects and aggrevated mental illness is one of them.

That said, this is my advice for anyone who suffers from any mental healt problem.

Find joy wherever you can and use it to get to the next moment.

Mental illness is a terrible beast that takes many forms. For those of us who have impulses and urges towards negative, self destructive behaviors, the best goal is to find something, ANYTHING, and use it as a motivation to get to the next day. If that's too much, go to the next hour. Or, the next minute. Even the next second. Once you get to that destination, take it to the next increment. The world is a scary scary place when you look at it as a whole. But if you break down your life into tiny fragments, it gets more managable.

That said, when you have a success, no matter how small it is, take pride in it.

Did you do some dishes today? Great job.
Did you clean the bathroom? AWESOME
Did you force yourself to put clothes on? Good for you!

Every timy victory counts, regardless of how small. Some days you might feel motivated to clean the entire house. Treasure those days. Other days, it's a struggle just to get out of bed. Don't hate yourself if you can't, I'm telling you now, sometimes the monster wins the battle. But never let it win the war.

You can do this. Find a reason to keep going. Every minute, every second you're still breathing is a second that YOU WON.

Also, take advantage of whatever support you can. Talk to people. Get a therapist. See a doctor. Find a support group. Call a crisis line if you need it. There are resources out there to help people like us. They aren't perfect, I'll warn you now, and it isn't an instant-fix. One of the first things any psych doc will tell you is there is no magic pill. It's a process and you need to work towards it along with the help you're geting. But you can win this battle. Does victory mean the depression is eliminated? Probably not. But it does involve learning to manage it and deal with it's effects.

This isn't an unwinnable fight. Do whatever it takes and please, for the love of whatever god you choose, DON'T GIVE UP.