Post by The Future on May 20, 2011 8:35:45 GMT -5
Well, this week I decided to pen an opus to the era which initially got me into wrestling: the Attitude Era. It's basically just a long, nostalgia-laced journey of why I'm a fan of wrestling to this day...so leave feedback, comments, harsh criticisms. Enjoy!
Dubya Dubya Eff
1...2...3-
Your winner and NEW
heavyweight champion
of the wooooooorrrrrrlllllld-
Me...standing on a trampoline
speaking into the mic
addressing all
Mankind
pretending that
I am
him-
Mr. Socko
on right hand
Mandible claw, torn dress shirt,
leather mask on face- "Have a nice day!"
*Glass breaks* here comes
the rattlesnake
WHAT?!?
In case you didn't know...
Stunning you with a
kick to the beer
gut, then a
jawjacker-
& that's the bottom line,
cause Stone Cold said so
Undertaker- an undead, invincible
presence, as Dark Prince
of the Underworld
From early 90's to today-
he'd tombstone anyone, but this
demon from Death Valley
was resurrected an
American badass
to keep appearance fresh
he ensured we'd all keep "rollin, rollin, rollin"
Only to be brought back via Last Ride
to the darkside again; ashes,
Paul Bearer
& his urn in hand
*eye roll white* "Rest in peeeeace"
A twist of fate
brought us the Hardy Boyz,
tight shirts, armbands &
the Swanton bomb
Life risking dives
from heights unfathomable-
Catch a 3-d off a ladder, it's tag anarchy
But we all know who's got the Edge,
with Christian in tow-
for the benefit of those
with flash photography, it's time
for a 5-second pose
Break the walls doooooown!
Ayatollah
with the from-5 countdown
Slapping those who don't obey
in walls of Jericho
whether face or heel,
his charisma wielded an endless
barrage of insults
Now dancing with
the stars, you can be sure
that when he hangs those laces
up for good, the world of entertainment
will never EEEeeee-verrrr
be the same
a-gaaayn
It's true, it's true-
those three I's of Kurt Angle
Meant Intelligence, Intensity &
Integrity came right before
he slapped on an
ankle lock
It's time to play
the Game,
Cerebral assassin-
sledgehammer wielding,
God of Thunder resembling
yes, the king of kings delineates
from a pure bred Pedigree
No chance in hell you could
bag Stephanie, she belongs to him,
as Vince keeps a close eye
on his two child heirs,
but especially his
Billion dollar
Princess
Shane-O-mac,
"Here comes the moneyyy"-
& it talks loudly,
But which way
did
he go?
Uh oh-Uh oh,
Elbow from atop
a 100-foot titantron
Suicidal son of fortune
nearly cut his life shares short
Vinnie Mac has the strut & the
grapefruits, swells of
testicular
fortitude- but
someday he gotta decide
exactly who to pass it all down to
Anyone better than his son?
I could hardly fathom--
But will it be a blood
or step one?
Weeeeellll,
it's the Big Show!
Shoot out flames for Kane
from the turnbuckle
W-O-R-M, we were
Too Cool for them, but
'Enn daaa buh dey'- didn't
understand their theme, at least
Grandmaster always cleared
his goggles before a
hip hop drop
landing
Billy Gunn was
an ass man...
Rikishi was a bad man
& Chyna,
the Ninth Wonder
wanted us to treat her
like neither a penis
nor vagina
carrier...
Not sure which of
the two she had anyway
Well, Eddie G. may know-
Latin heat,
rest in peace
The Mexican Warrior,
Guerrero of frogsplash
El Paso-lasso
Od'ed
like so many from
British Bulldog to Mr. Perfect
Andrew Martin as well,
no my friend-
"This is not
a Test"
when it gets you
while you're fast asleep
Best believe the pills,
needles &
neck falls from
a turnbuckle, all total up
& they will catch you eventually
(Just ask Owen Hart)
Finally- the Rock has come back
layin' down the Smack
in your ring again
You people demanded
the People's Champ, so here he
goes with elbow pad,
thrown-
Bounce off both ropes,
only to kick up a leg & finally
drive the point home
One eyebrow slightly
lifted,
as he shifts
these words- "Just Bring IT"
Remarks on pie & streussel &
you can take your title,
shine it up real nice
& stick it
straight up
the candy concave
where the sun don't shine
Damn jabroni, you've hit rock bottom
& now it doesn't matter what
your name is...
His sole aim
& ambition is to
Eeelectrify
& build a culinary scent
of ass whooping
"If ya smelllllalalooow...
What the rock...
is cookin'!!!!"
Break it down!
Oh you didn't know?
your better call somebody-
Ladies & gentlemen, boys & girls,
children of all ages-
Degeneration X
proudly brings to you
a kid who fed into
every one of your maneuvers
& who would die just to be like you
That's why he stood on a couch's arm
& in snowed out
parking lots,
Burger King playrooms &
fake fought friends to the bell's ring
Perfectly rehearsed &
executed
selling skills,
hard bumps &
even harder spills
To me, wrestling was always real
& if you ain't down with that,
we got two words for you...
So what?
(c) Paul LaTorre 2011
Dubya Dubya Eff
1...2...3-
Your winner and NEW
heavyweight champion
of the wooooooorrrrrrlllllld-
Me...standing on a trampoline
speaking into the mic
addressing all
Mankind
pretending that
I am
him-
Mr. Socko
on right hand
Mandible claw, torn dress shirt,
leather mask on face- "Have a nice day!"
*Glass breaks* here comes
the rattlesnake
WHAT?!?
In case you didn't know...
Stunning you with a
kick to the beer
gut, then a
jawjacker-
& that's the bottom line,
cause Stone Cold said so
Undertaker- an undead, invincible
presence, as Dark Prince
of the Underworld
From early 90's to today-
he'd tombstone anyone, but this
demon from Death Valley
was resurrected an
American badass
to keep appearance fresh
he ensured we'd all keep "rollin, rollin, rollin"
Only to be brought back via Last Ride
to the darkside again; ashes,
Paul Bearer
& his urn in hand
*eye roll white* "Rest in peeeeace"
A twist of fate
brought us the Hardy Boyz,
tight shirts, armbands &
the Swanton bomb
Life risking dives
from heights unfathomable-
Catch a 3-d off a ladder, it's tag anarchy
But we all know who's got the Edge,
with Christian in tow-
for the benefit of those
with flash photography, it's time
for a 5-second pose
Break the walls doooooown!
Ayatollah
with the from-5 countdown
Slapping those who don't obey
in walls of Jericho
whether face or heel,
his charisma wielded an endless
barrage of insults
Now dancing with
the stars, you can be sure
that when he hangs those laces
up for good, the world of entertainment
will never EEEeeee-verrrr
be the same
a-gaaayn
It's true, it's true-
those three I's of Kurt Angle
Meant Intelligence, Intensity &
Integrity came right before
he slapped on an
ankle lock
It's time to play
the Game,
Cerebral assassin-
sledgehammer wielding,
God of Thunder resembling
yes, the king of kings delineates
from a pure bred Pedigree
No chance in hell you could
bag Stephanie, she belongs to him,
as Vince keeps a close eye
on his two child heirs,
but especially his
Billion dollar
Princess
Shane-O-mac,
"Here comes the moneyyy"-
& it talks loudly,
But which way
did
he go?
Uh oh-Uh oh,
Elbow from atop
a 100-foot titantron
Suicidal son of fortune
nearly cut his life shares short
Vinnie Mac has the strut & the
grapefruits, swells of
testicular
fortitude- but
someday he gotta decide
exactly who to pass it all down to
Anyone better than his son?
I could hardly fathom--
But will it be a blood
or step one?
Weeeeellll,
it's the Big Show!
Shoot out flames for Kane
from the turnbuckle
W-O-R-M, we were
Too Cool for them, but
'Enn daaa buh dey'- didn't
understand their theme, at least
Grandmaster always cleared
his goggles before a
hip hop drop
landing
Billy Gunn was
an ass man...
Rikishi was a bad man
& Chyna,
the Ninth Wonder
wanted us to treat her
like neither a penis
nor vagina
carrier...
Not sure which of
the two she had anyway
Well, Eddie G. may know-
Latin heat,
rest in peace
The Mexican Warrior,
Guerrero of frogsplash
El Paso-lasso
Od'ed
like so many from
British Bulldog to Mr. Perfect
Andrew Martin as well,
no my friend-
"This is not
a Test"
when it gets you
while you're fast asleep
Best believe the pills,
needles &
neck falls from
a turnbuckle, all total up
& they will catch you eventually
(Just ask Owen Hart)
Finally- the Rock has come back
layin' down the Smack
in your ring again
You people demanded
the People's Champ, so here he
goes with elbow pad,
thrown-
Bounce off both ropes,
only to kick up a leg & finally
drive the point home
One eyebrow slightly
lifted,
as he shifts
these words- "Just Bring IT"
Remarks on pie & streussel &
you can take your title,
shine it up real nice
& stick it
straight up
the candy concave
where the sun don't shine
Damn jabroni, you've hit rock bottom
& now it doesn't matter what
your name is...
His sole aim
& ambition is to
Eeelectrify
& build a culinary scent
of ass whooping
"If ya smelllllalalooow...
What the rock...
is cookin'!!!!"
Break it down!
Oh you didn't know?
your better call somebody-
Ladies & gentlemen, boys & girls,
children of all ages-
Degeneration X
proudly brings to you
a kid who fed into
every one of your maneuvers
& who would die just to be like you
That's why he stood on a couch's arm
& in snowed out
parking lots,
Burger King playrooms &
fake fought friends to the bell's ring
Perfectly rehearsed &
executed
selling skills,
hard bumps &
even harder spills
To me, wrestling was always real
& if you ain't down with that,
we got two words for you...
So what?
(c) Paul LaTorre 2011
