Post by PdW2kX on Apr 13, 2008 19:18:44 GMT -5
Small Note: I'm still trying to hone this new reviewing style, so please let me know what you liked and didn't like. I'm always open for sincere feedback, whether it's positive or negative, and I appreciate both. With that said, UF and SVS 2007 aren't going into the next 4R, but I rented them from BlockBuster and figured I'd see how my new review style works with a stand-alone show. The Ladder Match will be going into 4R #10, which I still haven't named yet. Either way...
TML for TLM: Too Much Love for "The Ladder Match"
A Review of "The Ladder Match" by PdW2kX
Posted April 13, 2008
Before I start this review, I would like to take the time to make a short statement.
For a while now, I have refused to review any matches that Chris Benoit has been a part of. My reasons were that I wanted to avoid controversy, and that I could no longer look at a Chris Benoit match subjectively. The second reason far outweighed the first: no matter what I did, for a long time I couldn't look at Chris Benoit without a strange mix of feelings. There was no way I could honestly and fairly review a match of his, so I chose to make those feelings public and swear off Benoit entirely.
The following compilation contains plenty of Chris Benoit, and I will make mention of him when I see fit. Whether it is through the passage of time or other methods, I can now review Chris Benoit matches subjectively and honestly. I realize that Benoit is still an incredibly polarizing figure, and I think we can all agree that we wish it never had to be that way. But the fact of the matter is that I can now judge a match of his based solely on the quality of wrestling. If you find this to be wrong, please, don't try and start an argument over it. Simply ignore whatever section that contains mention of him, and I will apologize if any of it offends you.
I refused to review Benoit matches because I knew my mixed feelings would eventually hurt my journalistic integrity. As a creative writing major, I take journalistic integrity very, very seriously. However, I now feel capable of reviewing Benoit matches fairly, so I will review Benoit matches from this point onward.
With that said, please enjoy the following review.
From its beginnings in Stampede Wrestling, the Ladder Match has evolved in many shapes and forms. It can be a looming presence, a constant threat that becomes the best friend and worst enemy in a match pitting two rivals against each other in an arduous and near-debilitating test of strength, drive, and passion. It can be the center of attention, used to perform death-defying feats that steal your breath and inspire a generation. Throughout its history, The Ladder Match has always retained its basic aura of unpredictability and danger. I believe Jim Ross said it best when he asked, "Somebody, please, tell me: how the hell do you 'learn to fall' off of a twenty-foot ladder?"
With this in mind, I was practically salivating at the mouth when I popped in "The Ladder Match", a sudden purchase I had been eyeing for a while, one that I finally caught while on a DVD-buying binge. My expectations were met, met again, and practically blown away by the time I was through this massive three-disc collection of unparalleled insanity. Despite some tricky flaws here and there, this thing is every bit as good as I hoped it would be. Inside are matches that defined the Ladder Match for a generation of fans, and matches that took that definition and turned it on its ear. Our host for this compilation of brutality and majesty, of might and merit, of action and mayhem…is the man, the myth, the living legend…Todd Grisham?
What.
The.
****?!?!?!?!
Yes, my friends, I bring you the sad news that none other than Todd Grisham hosts this otherwise must-have product. Who is Todd Grisham, you say? If you don't know who this man is, consider yourself lucky. Todd Grisham may be the single-biggest walking stereotype to ever set foot in a WWE ring, and that's saying a whole hell of a lot when that ring has been filled with dancing turkeys, midget clowns, Black Panthers, Mexicans riding lawn mowers, rednecks, vampires, aliens, zombies, and African cannibals. Todd is the quintessential nerd. In the course of this three-disc event, he makes horrible jokes, horribly segues from one topic to the next, and is made fun of so relentlessly it's hard not to constantly pity the man. Heidenreich making Michael Cole squeal like a pig and The Rock constantly calling a grown man a hermaphrodite have nothing on the feelings of sadness and slight revulsion inspired by the living embodiment of lameness known as Todd Grisham.
The best parts of the pre-match segments are the ones that barely involve Todd. Jeff Hardy talks about the thrill of the ladder match, while Joey Mercury talks about how it felt to have his face basically explode in the now semi-famous Armageddon Ladder Match. Edge toots his own horn a bit, but he earns plenty of props for his fantastic put-downs on Todd. Other than that…there's not much here. There's a couple of lame skits, including one where Todd is so pitiful that he screams for help to get off a ladder after climbing up about four or five steps. I have to fault the WWE for this….the overall presentation of The Ladder Match during the pre- and post-match portion bounces from seriousness to comedy so many times it's hard to keep caring. While I've gotten used to the "small bit of history before the match" mini-documentary that has taken the place of the feature-length documentary of other compilations, this one is a very weak effort. While I love the matches, it's a real downer that their build-up is average, at best.
The matches themselves, however…that's where the praise lays, and holy hell do you get your money's worth. You've got one of the first Ladder Matches, as a young Jake Roberts takes on a young Junk Yard Dog. It's fascinating to realize that the Ladder Matched originated in the 1970's, proving once again how far ahead of its time Stampede Wrestling was. The very first WWE Ladder Match is shown, a house-show match pitting Bret Hart against the one and only Shawn Michaels. For a house-show, the picture and sound quality is just as fantastic as anything else on this compilation. However, I hate the fact that the WrestleMania X match is not shown. Instead, we get the rematch Ladder Match: HBK and Razor Ramon at SummerSlam. While those two still steal the show, I find it hard to swallow that the match that defined the Ladder Match to a generation of fans is missing from this comp.
What's interesting to note is the progression of the Ladder Match through the years. At first, it's all about keeping your opponent away from the ladder: beat him to a pulp, then grab that ladder and climb like hell. This psychology would return in later Ladder wars, but it's promptly turned on its ear when the New Brood takes on Edge and Christian. The New Brood being Matt and Jeff Hardy, and it being 1999, all four men sacrifice their bodies in insane new ways that have the fans cheering in amazement. And then, of course, we have the match that defined the Ladder Match for a second generation of Ladder fans: Tables, Ladders, and Chairs.
The epic legacy of the TLC match is fully covered in this compilation: every TLC match that has ever taken place in a WWE ring is included. TLC's I through IV are sheer spotfest bliss, with enough mark-out to make you black out. TLC V is a surprisingly dramatic and well-done Edge/Flair match, and TLC VI is an interesting Edge/Cena match that I had mixed feelings over. In my opinion, I think the luster of the TLC really went south when it was given away on free TV. That's not to say that the match quality suffered…in fact, many of the TV TLC's were very close to capturing the same brilliance that the earlier TLC's had. But for a while, the TLC was almost up there with the Hell in a Cell in terms of the aura of danger and suspense, and now it's basically second-fiddle to the Money in the Bank. I'm all for progress, but I think that giving TLC away on free TV and downgrading it to a one-on-one match really hurt its legacy. The TLC's brilliance shined brightest when it was an epic spotfest on a grand stage, but now it seems that WWE breads that particular butter with the Money in the Bank.
Speaking of Money in the Bank, the first one is included, and of course it's excellent. Rounding out the match selection is the return of the "best friend/worst enemy" psychology, which works wonders in matches like Triple H vs. The Rock and Rob Van Dam vs. Eddie Guerrero. There's also Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho, a hard-hitting match that gave us the ultra-sick "running dive into chair" spot. Even the Rey Mysterio/Eddie Guerrero Ladder Match is included, a strange little match that was for the custody of Dominick. This was, in my opinion, the weakest match of the compilation. Rey looked completely out of his element, and Eddie Guerrero…Eddie ****ing Guerrero… got a "You ****ed Up" chant. Plus, let's not forgot how utterly horrible the Dominick storyline was. Rey Mysterio, without his mask, looks so much like Dominick that there could never be any doubt that Rey was his father. But alas, as we all know, WWE never lets things like logic and sense stand in the way of their storylines. The compilation ends on a high note, however, with the Armageddon Four-Man Ladder Match that features a super-gruesome botch that results in Joey Mercury pouring blood. The term "pouring blood" has been used lightly over the years, but anyone that has seen this match will tell you that there's no better way to describe just how quickly Joey began gushing the red stuff.
Although this compilation is near-perfect for its purpose, there still are some rotten eggs in the bunch. Eddie/Mysterio was a train-wreck, but not the good kind of train-wreck. Edge vs. Cena was a very awkward match: Cena was so far out of his element that he promptly repeated the same opening sequence three times, probably so he could spend that time thinking about what he was going to do. Not only that, Cena promptly botches a Sunset Flip Powerbomb into a Table. For the most part, it's more of a regular match with TLC spots than a full-on TLC match. There's even a semi-decent Jericho/Christian Ladder Match where both men must've been having an off night. It's perfectly watchable, but I found it strangely lacking in passion. Both did well, but never really wrestled their ass off.
With that out of the way, though… prepare yourself for some of the greatest insanity ever captured on WWE film. Triple H and The Rock have a fantastic Ladder Match: what they lack in crazy spots, they make up for in drama. The first and second TLC matches are feats of amazement: there are way too many incredible spots to list. Those two matches, in terms of show-stealing moments, stole more shows than most file-sharing programs. There's even a WCW Ladder Match thrown in, which is a great addition if you crave good WCW footage. Benoit and Jericho have an incredible powerhouse match: what they lack in craziness, they make up for in intensity. Plus, they still give us some huge spots. TLC III sees the craziness of the original triumvirate (Matt/Jeff, Edge/Christian, Dudleyz) mix perfectly with the all-out intensity of Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho. Although it's given away on free TV, TLC III is every bit as good as the first two. For the first half of it, I was ready to cast off TLC IV as a decent match with unique participants that had some cool chain-spots but lacked the devil-may-care spirit of the first three. Looking back, TLC IV does become the all-out insanity fuster-cluck that I mark like hell for…it just took a little longer.
TV has seen some excellent ladder matches over the years, and they're captured wonderfully in this compilation. Eddie Guerrero and Rob Van Dam have a fantastic match that revitalized Eddie's career. Matt Hardy and Edge have an incredibly dramatic "Loser Leaves Raw" Ladder Match that finished off a very intense, all-too-real feud. Johnny Nitro may have been a Ladder Match virgin going into his Ladder Match for the Intercontinental Championship against Jeff Hardy, but both men mix incredibly well and give us a very interesting match. Nitro's experience is well-served, as the Armageddon 4-Way Ladder Match saw him go at it alone after partner Joey Mercury's face shattered. While best-known for Joey Mercury's hideous facial injury, the Armageddon 4-Team Ladder Match lives up to a legacy of intensity and insanity, earning its place on this fantastic compilation.
My personal pick for "Best Match" may surprise some. I've got a lot to choose from: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels, Triple H vs. The Rock, Benoit vs. Jericho, TLC…so many options, and yet one dark horse pulls in front of the pack and earns its spot as my favorite match of this compilation. Maybe it's not the best match overall, but the amount of intensity, drama, and heart made it one of the best Ladder Matches of all time in my estimation. It's a match so wonderfully executed that it made you believe anything was possible: The Undertaker vs. Jeff Hardy.
Surprised? Shocked? Allow me to explain. This match had in it the perfect underdog story. Jeff is in his element, but he's facing an Undertaker at his most-ruthless, a man that is basically unstoppable. That's the beauty of this match: The Undertaker is portrayed as an unstoppable force of destruction, meaning that Jeff has little to no hope of winning in a match that has defined his career. From the start, Hardy throws caution to the wind and begins pulling off every insane stunt possible in hopes of evening out the nigh-insurmountable odds. There are chair spots, ladder spots, and all kinds of death-defying spots that bring the crowd to their feet. The Undertaker's progression throughout this match is excellent: at first he is confused, then shocked, then angry. Before long, Undertaker realizes that he doesn't have to be a Ladder Match veteran: pounding Jeff into oblivion works just as well, and Undertaker ruthlessly picks him apart inch by inch. The beauty of this match is that, at multiple times, it actually seems like Jeff may have it in him to become the Undisputed Champion. Although it's an amazing leap of faith, this match gets you so involved that you're practically pleading alongside the announcers for Jeff to climb that ladder and live his dream. I even loved the ending: Jeff may not have won the gold, but his heart and his determination ultimately won him Undertaker's respect. While this night ultimately belonged to the Phenom, and while Jeff may have promptly ruined his momentum by getting himself fired, I still consider this match a sleeper hit that continues to amaze me.
I love this compilation. It's as simple as that. I can't believe I waited so long to buy this thing. I may hate that it's hosted by Todd Grisham, but the match selection is so excellent that I can't help but consider this one a must-have. Everything you love about Ladder Matches is here. Matches that defined wrestling for generations of fans are here. From 1979 to 2006, you're getting nothing but the best with very few exceptions. WWE Home Video managed to squeeze in 22 matches on a compilation that sells for about $20. Even taking in the somewhat-decent matches and Todd Grisham's abysmal hosting skills, that's less than a dollar a match. If you're a fan of these types of matches, no way does it get any better than this. If you have any interest in these matches whatsoever, no way does it get any better than this. Even if you buy this compilation only for a specific match, I have no problem in saying that just about everything else will amaze you if you give it a chance. I've got too much love for "The Ladder Match", so I'll spread it around: definitely pick this one up.
Meet the New School, Same as the Old School
A Review of "Unforgiven 2007" by PdW2kX
Posted April 13, 2008
It's easy to see how Unforgiven can be thought of as "Undertaker's PPV". The center point of the very first Unforgiven was an inferno match pitting The Undertaker against Kane. Undertaker has competed in every single Unforgiven except for the period of 2003-2006, when the Pay-Per-View was exclusive to the Raw brand. His likeness has graced the official poster for Unforgiven a total of four times, more than any other wrestler to date. So it's perfectly fitting that The Phenom would make his return after a four-month hiatus at the tenth annual Unforgiven. What follows is an unusual triple-branded Pay-Per-View that has its fair share of strengths and weaknesses.
The folks at ECW jerk the curtain, but what else is new? CM Punk and Elijah Burke give us a simple, straight-forward match that benefits from both man's athleticism. It's an o.k. match, but I personally thought that it went on for just a bit too long. Plus, it had a weird finish I wasn't really in love with. It's not a bad title defense, but seeing a match of this caliber as a main event of ECW on SciFi isn't out of the realm of possibilities either.
Next up is MVP and Matt Hardy taking on D&D. While I consider the Deuce & Domino gimmick a guilty little pleasure of mine, this match screams "Made for TV" louder than a B-Grade action movie. The ending does pick things up, but I can't find anything that really makes this match special or unique. This entire match was nothing more than fodder for the continuing Matt Hardy/MVP storyline, and I think it could've accomplished its goal just as well on an episode of SmackDown. I don't really know what I would replace this match with; I just think that it doesn't have that "PPV-quality" feel.
Then we have Triple H facing Carlito, with a No DQ stipulation that only applies to Carlito. Carlito uses his lopsided advantage to its fullest, nailing Triple H with everything from a trash can to the dreaded white powder. The referee strictly enforces the "No DQ only for Carlito" rule, but Trips still manages to get the job done and polishes off Carlito after he nails a low blow while the ref's back is turned, following it up with a Pedigree for the win. And yes, I recognize that that's a spoiler, but if you honestly believed that Carlito would win this thing you deserve to have an unmarked spoiler laugh at you.
We follow that up with a good little match for the Women's Championship. Even though the term "Glamazon" has been shoved down my throat so many times I'll be crapping it out more often than TNA craps out a horrible storyline, Beth Phoenix is a great big powerhouse of a woman that knows her way around a ring. JR says she's an American Bull Nakano, and while I think that Beth hasn't earned the right to be compared to Nakano just yet, she and Candice Michelle give us a match which proves that good WWE women's wrestling is not dead…even though it's definitely an endangered species. Regarding Candice Michelle, her level of improvement from the time of her debut until now can only be considered astronomical. She sucked that hard, and she's improved that much.
Batista and Rey Mysterio take on The Great Khali in a Triple-Threat Match for the World Heavyweight Championship in our next encounter. Honestly, Great Khali as WHC has got to be in contention for "Darkest Age in Smackdown History", seriously. Damn. Mysterio and Batista go the traditional "team up and then implode" route, with Khali taking on both of them and usually succeeding. The biggest selling point of this match is that all three men are portrayed as threats: Great Khali is the monster, Batista is the powerhouse, and Mysterio uses his agility to pick his spots and make his impact. Mysterio even hits a double 619, while Batista nails the Batista Bomb on Rey, planting him onto Khali. Batista wins it with a big Spinebuster to the "Punjabi Nightmare". And, yes, I realize that this is yet another dreaded unmarked spoiler. But, hey, screw it- I'm that glad that the World Heavyweight Championship is no longer with The Great Khali.
Unforgiven 2007's booking is so damn weird. Why else would our next match be Paul London and Brian Kendrick vs. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch? Just like the other tag team match, this one is made for TV. I really wish that London and Kendrick never moved to Raw. I can see the reason why- London and Kendrick had a great run as tag champs on SmackDown, after all. But nobody ever did anything with London and Kendrick's momentum, resulting in a rather bland match for the World Tag Team Championships. MVP and Matt Hardy vs. London and Kendrick could've been a show-stealer, but London and Kendrick vs. Cade and Murdoch is just another average match in a long, long line of average Cade/Murdoch matches.
Our semi-main event of the evening is Randy Orton vs. John Cena in a "You Punted My Father, You Jerk" match. In reality, Cena can't even get sympathy after his father is nearly kicked into oblivion- the fans boo him relentlessly. Neither man really stinks up the ring, but consider this: the most interesting point of this match was a "Let's Go Orton/Let's Go Cena" dueling chant that lasted longer than any I've ever heard. It lasted as long as the Randy Orton resthold spot it took place during, and we all know how long those damn things are. Cena gets a measure of revenge on Orton, but it's clear that the war isn't over. I get a measure of enjoyment out of this match, but it's clear that both men were holding back.
And then the main event is finally here- The Undertaker makes his big return to face Mark Henry. The Phenom walks out no different from when he left, and the crowd promptly goes deader than the Dead Man as Undertaker struggles to wrench a good match out of Mark Henry. JBL tries to cover up for the crowd's lack of caring by saying that the fans are "astonished and watching in amazement", but it's a paper-thin excuse. The crowd does get in to the match towards the end, though, and Henry takes an amazing Chokeslam before taking an even more amazing Last Ride. Given all the hype, especially all those crazy-ass videos of snakes and druids and little girls whispering and such, Undertaker's big return is just a bit on the anti-climatic side of things.
And so, there you have it. Was this Pay-Per-View good? Uhh…kinda. Was it bad? Not particularly. It had a couple of decent efforts in there, but it was plagued with weird booking and other strangeness, like Undertaker's lukewarm response and the fact that even Cena's dad being kicked in the head couldn't get the fans on Cena's side. In all likelihood, Unforgiven can best be summarized in one word: awkward. Unforgiven 2007 was really, really awkward.
I wasn't expecting a gala event, but there's no denying that some of these matches belonged on their respective brand's television shows. There's a lot of filler in this here Pay-Per-View. I actually enjoyed the Women's Title match the most, which is strange considering how star-studded this event seemed. Everyone did put in some effort…but many of the matches had different things that held them back, little awkward things that added up over time and eventually outshined the good. I can respect how WWE is trying to breathe life into the Tag Titles by continually putting them on Pay-Per-View, but let's be honest with ourselves: that horse is long dead, and it'll take more than an average match (World Titles) and a match where the tag titles weren't even the central point of the match (WWE Titles) to bring new life into those divisions. The ECW Title was mired in a level of mediocrity, while the outcome of Triple H/Carlito was so obvious I could barely get into it. Add two lukewarm title matches and a big return that ended up disappointing, and you've got something that's worthy of a rental but little more.
While I'm not really disappointed in how Unforgiven 2007 turned out, I'm not ecstatic about the PPV either. We had some goodness, little badness, and a great big pile of awkwardness. There are plenty of ways that this Pay-Per-View could've turned out better or worse, but I've never been one to play "armchair booker". Instead, I'll just say that Unforgiven is a decent Pay-Per-View that's worthy of a purchase only if you find something that really appeals to you. Otherwise, give the folks at BlockBuster some money and give Unforgiven 2007 a quick weekend watching.
Survivor Series Turns 21
A Review of "Survivor Series 2007" by PdW2kX
Posted April 13, 2008
Survivor Series has a long and sordid history, but has always been considered one of WWE's "big" events. Ten years after the Montreal Screwjob, Survivor Series 2007 looks to live up to that legacy with a triple-branded Pay-Per-View that has something for everybody. Shawn Michaels takes on Randy Orton in a stipulation-heavy match, Batista and Undertaker fight in the Hell in a Cell, and the traditional 5-on-5 match becomes 5-on-4, stacking the odds against Triple H and his band of faces. Despite some odd booking decisions I was not in favor of, overall this Survivor Series lives up to the impressive legacy of its predecessors.
The event rushes right out of the gate with a Triple-Threat match for the ECW Championship. I don't particularly enjoy the fact that a show's main championship is jerking the curtain, especially when this Pay-Per-View features Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch versus Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly. I know ECW is the C-Show…but honestly…the C-Show's A-Championship doesn't even outrank the A-Show's C-Championship? Especially when the match is Trevor Murdoch and Lance Cade versus Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly?! The three participants in this match- CM Punk, John Morrison, and The Miz- seem to be feeling just as frustrated as I am regarding their place on the card, because they come out firing hard with wicked quickness and excellent chain-spots. All three put on a hugely athletic, surprisingly dramatic match. John Morrison even busts out an insane Split-Legged Corkscrew Moonsault. This is a very fun match, a total sleeper hit, and it proves that even the C-Show can trump the competition if it's worked the right way and given enough time.
Next up is a 10-Diva match that is utterly pointless except for T&A value. The best part of this match is the entrances, especially because Melina promptly botches her entrance and nearly breaks her voluptuous ass. The second best part is Jerry Lawler slobbering over the Diva's while JR continually puts him down, most of the time by frequently talking about The King's failed relationships. If you're a red-blooded male with even the smallest trace of a libido, this one is good for a once-over, especially because it ends with some Hot Lesbian Action. But if you don't know how this thing breaks down as a wrestling match, you obviously haven't been watching the WWE for a long, long time.
The aforementioned World Tag Team Title match is just as abysmal as I thought it would be. The crowd is dead, the chemistry is lifeless, and this match would've found its home on Heat if it wasn't for the championships. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch do have some chemistry, but they're missing that X factor that makes a great tag team. They're decent wrestlers, but they have an archaic gimmick. That's all they have to offer. Hardcore Holly is only as good as the storyline that features him, and the mini-feud and subsequent pairing with Cody Rhodes generated as much heat as a tea candle. And Cody Rhodes, while having genetics on his side, is still greener than most forests.
The Pay-Per-View rebounds with the traditional Survivor Series Elimination Match, which stands the test of time as a dramatic match with an aura of constant unpredictability. It's great to see Raw stars like Triple H and Umaga mix it up with people like MVP and Rey Mysterio. The inter-mingling of the brands gives us some unique match-ups, and there's so many people involved that everyone's flaws are overlooked. Forget that Big Daddy V is basically immobile: he's in the ring just long enough to get over as an unstoppable force, and he's gone just before he begins stinking up the match. Just about everyone is utilized long enough to be important but not long enough to bring the suck. Although I slightly disliked how most of the match revolved around Triple H and Jeff Hardy, the 5-on-2 dynamic of Jeff and Trips facing impossible odds led to some great drama and some excellent false-finishes. While it's not a show-stealer, it's a very solid match that earns the right to be the longest match of the night.
The Pay-Per-View promptly shoots itself in the foot with the following match: Hornswoggle vs. The Great Khali. This one barely lasted three minutes, but those three minutes were such a complete waste of time that I feel even more upset that the ECW Title match jerked the curtain. When you consider the type of build and hype this storyline got when it first began, it's tough not to see "Hornswoggle McMahon" as the biggest WWE storyline implosion since the InVasion. Simply put: **** this match.
The roller-coaster ride of high's and low's continues with the next match, Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton for the WWE Championship, where Randy Orton loses the title if he purposely gets himself disqualified while HBK is forbidden to use the Sweet Chin Music. Survivor Series rebounds once again as HBK and Randy Orton tear up the ring in a fantastic match. Without his patented finisher, HBK adopts a submission-based offense, which works out better than I ever would've thought. Of course, being HBK, Shawn still manages to pull out amazing stuff like an Asai Moonsault. Orton sells and bumps his ass off while somehow retaining his aura of a cold and calculating career-killer: when it's his time to shine he's a ruthless son of a bitch, but seeing Orton squeal in pain as HBK works a submission is a thing of bliss. I was delighted to see HBK's expansive arsenal of moves come into play, as he worked everything from a Sharpshooter to an Ankle Lock, and he even put on the Crossface. Although you may not like the finish, I found it almost poetic. Plus, after the match HBK hits what is quite possibly the greatest Sweet Chin Music ever.
Our main event of the evening is a Hell in a Cell match to settle the Batista/Undertaker feud. While this match does find its groove, for the first half it feels like a standard Undertaker/Batista match. Then both men begin bleeding buckets, and all hell breaks loose. Both men kick out of each other's finishers, both men use hardcore weapons, hell, Batista even nails a Batista Bomb to Undertaker through a damn table. Batista kicks out of the Tombstone Piledriver, and the look on Undertaker's bloody face is classic. After a heinous Tombstone Piledriver onto some steel steps, Edge makes his return and costs Undertaker the match. Although the finish never really gave the Batista/Undertaker feud closure, it did set up some important storylines. In the end, I liked it.
Survivor Series 2007 may have suffered from some bad decisions, but overall I was impressed. There's some quality wrestling here, and not just wrestling of a single type. The ECW match gave us athleticism. The 5-on-4 match gave us drama. HBK/Orton practically stole the show. Undertaker/Batista gave us a good hardcore showing. Compared to those matches, the utter crapiness of Hornswoggle/Khali and the blandness of the World Tag Title defense pales in comparison. Survivor Series 2007 is definitely worth a rental, so pick it up if you get the chance. If you've got to have it all to yourself, it's a solid purchase. Despite some crap being thrown into the mix, Survivor Series '07 lives up to its legacy as one of the WWE's biggest PPV spectacles, so I've got no problem giving it a recommendation.
TML for TLM: Too Much Love for "The Ladder Match"
A Review of "The Ladder Match" by PdW2kX
Posted April 13, 2008
Before I start this review, I would like to take the time to make a short statement.
For a while now, I have refused to review any matches that Chris Benoit has been a part of. My reasons were that I wanted to avoid controversy, and that I could no longer look at a Chris Benoit match subjectively. The second reason far outweighed the first: no matter what I did, for a long time I couldn't look at Chris Benoit without a strange mix of feelings. There was no way I could honestly and fairly review a match of his, so I chose to make those feelings public and swear off Benoit entirely.
The following compilation contains plenty of Chris Benoit, and I will make mention of him when I see fit. Whether it is through the passage of time or other methods, I can now review Chris Benoit matches subjectively and honestly. I realize that Benoit is still an incredibly polarizing figure, and I think we can all agree that we wish it never had to be that way. But the fact of the matter is that I can now judge a match of his based solely on the quality of wrestling. If you find this to be wrong, please, don't try and start an argument over it. Simply ignore whatever section that contains mention of him, and I will apologize if any of it offends you.
I refused to review Benoit matches because I knew my mixed feelings would eventually hurt my journalistic integrity. As a creative writing major, I take journalistic integrity very, very seriously. However, I now feel capable of reviewing Benoit matches fairly, so I will review Benoit matches from this point onward.
With that said, please enjoy the following review.
From its beginnings in Stampede Wrestling, the Ladder Match has evolved in many shapes and forms. It can be a looming presence, a constant threat that becomes the best friend and worst enemy in a match pitting two rivals against each other in an arduous and near-debilitating test of strength, drive, and passion. It can be the center of attention, used to perform death-defying feats that steal your breath and inspire a generation. Throughout its history, The Ladder Match has always retained its basic aura of unpredictability and danger. I believe Jim Ross said it best when he asked, "Somebody, please, tell me: how the hell do you 'learn to fall' off of a twenty-foot ladder?"
With this in mind, I was practically salivating at the mouth when I popped in "The Ladder Match", a sudden purchase I had been eyeing for a while, one that I finally caught while on a DVD-buying binge. My expectations were met, met again, and practically blown away by the time I was through this massive three-disc collection of unparalleled insanity. Despite some tricky flaws here and there, this thing is every bit as good as I hoped it would be. Inside are matches that defined the Ladder Match for a generation of fans, and matches that took that definition and turned it on its ear. Our host for this compilation of brutality and majesty, of might and merit, of action and mayhem…is the man, the myth, the living legend…Todd Grisham?
What.
The.
****?!?!?!?!
Yes, my friends, I bring you the sad news that none other than Todd Grisham hosts this otherwise must-have product. Who is Todd Grisham, you say? If you don't know who this man is, consider yourself lucky. Todd Grisham may be the single-biggest walking stereotype to ever set foot in a WWE ring, and that's saying a whole hell of a lot when that ring has been filled with dancing turkeys, midget clowns, Black Panthers, Mexicans riding lawn mowers, rednecks, vampires, aliens, zombies, and African cannibals. Todd is the quintessential nerd. In the course of this three-disc event, he makes horrible jokes, horribly segues from one topic to the next, and is made fun of so relentlessly it's hard not to constantly pity the man. Heidenreich making Michael Cole squeal like a pig and The Rock constantly calling a grown man a hermaphrodite have nothing on the feelings of sadness and slight revulsion inspired by the living embodiment of lameness known as Todd Grisham.
The best parts of the pre-match segments are the ones that barely involve Todd. Jeff Hardy talks about the thrill of the ladder match, while Joey Mercury talks about how it felt to have his face basically explode in the now semi-famous Armageddon Ladder Match. Edge toots his own horn a bit, but he earns plenty of props for his fantastic put-downs on Todd. Other than that…there's not much here. There's a couple of lame skits, including one where Todd is so pitiful that he screams for help to get off a ladder after climbing up about four or five steps. I have to fault the WWE for this….the overall presentation of The Ladder Match during the pre- and post-match portion bounces from seriousness to comedy so many times it's hard to keep caring. While I've gotten used to the "small bit of history before the match" mini-documentary that has taken the place of the feature-length documentary of other compilations, this one is a very weak effort. While I love the matches, it's a real downer that their build-up is average, at best.
The matches themselves, however…that's where the praise lays, and holy hell do you get your money's worth. You've got one of the first Ladder Matches, as a young Jake Roberts takes on a young Junk Yard Dog. It's fascinating to realize that the Ladder Matched originated in the 1970's, proving once again how far ahead of its time Stampede Wrestling was. The very first WWE Ladder Match is shown, a house-show match pitting Bret Hart against the one and only Shawn Michaels. For a house-show, the picture and sound quality is just as fantastic as anything else on this compilation. However, I hate the fact that the WrestleMania X match is not shown. Instead, we get the rematch Ladder Match: HBK and Razor Ramon at SummerSlam. While those two still steal the show, I find it hard to swallow that the match that defined the Ladder Match to a generation of fans is missing from this comp.
What's interesting to note is the progression of the Ladder Match through the years. At first, it's all about keeping your opponent away from the ladder: beat him to a pulp, then grab that ladder and climb like hell. This psychology would return in later Ladder wars, but it's promptly turned on its ear when the New Brood takes on Edge and Christian. The New Brood being Matt and Jeff Hardy, and it being 1999, all four men sacrifice their bodies in insane new ways that have the fans cheering in amazement. And then, of course, we have the match that defined the Ladder Match for a second generation of Ladder fans: Tables, Ladders, and Chairs.
The epic legacy of the TLC match is fully covered in this compilation: every TLC match that has ever taken place in a WWE ring is included. TLC's I through IV are sheer spotfest bliss, with enough mark-out to make you black out. TLC V is a surprisingly dramatic and well-done Edge/Flair match, and TLC VI is an interesting Edge/Cena match that I had mixed feelings over. In my opinion, I think the luster of the TLC really went south when it was given away on free TV. That's not to say that the match quality suffered…in fact, many of the TV TLC's were very close to capturing the same brilliance that the earlier TLC's had. But for a while, the TLC was almost up there with the Hell in a Cell in terms of the aura of danger and suspense, and now it's basically second-fiddle to the Money in the Bank. I'm all for progress, but I think that giving TLC away on free TV and downgrading it to a one-on-one match really hurt its legacy. The TLC's brilliance shined brightest when it was an epic spotfest on a grand stage, but now it seems that WWE breads that particular butter with the Money in the Bank.
Speaking of Money in the Bank, the first one is included, and of course it's excellent. Rounding out the match selection is the return of the "best friend/worst enemy" psychology, which works wonders in matches like Triple H vs. The Rock and Rob Van Dam vs. Eddie Guerrero. There's also Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho, a hard-hitting match that gave us the ultra-sick "running dive into chair" spot. Even the Rey Mysterio/Eddie Guerrero Ladder Match is included, a strange little match that was for the custody of Dominick. This was, in my opinion, the weakest match of the compilation. Rey looked completely out of his element, and Eddie Guerrero…Eddie ****ing Guerrero… got a "You ****ed Up" chant. Plus, let's not forgot how utterly horrible the Dominick storyline was. Rey Mysterio, without his mask, looks so much like Dominick that there could never be any doubt that Rey was his father. But alas, as we all know, WWE never lets things like logic and sense stand in the way of their storylines. The compilation ends on a high note, however, with the Armageddon Four-Man Ladder Match that features a super-gruesome botch that results in Joey Mercury pouring blood. The term "pouring blood" has been used lightly over the years, but anyone that has seen this match will tell you that there's no better way to describe just how quickly Joey began gushing the red stuff.
Although this compilation is near-perfect for its purpose, there still are some rotten eggs in the bunch. Eddie/Mysterio was a train-wreck, but not the good kind of train-wreck. Edge vs. Cena was a very awkward match: Cena was so far out of his element that he promptly repeated the same opening sequence three times, probably so he could spend that time thinking about what he was going to do. Not only that, Cena promptly botches a Sunset Flip Powerbomb into a Table. For the most part, it's more of a regular match with TLC spots than a full-on TLC match. There's even a semi-decent Jericho/Christian Ladder Match where both men must've been having an off night. It's perfectly watchable, but I found it strangely lacking in passion. Both did well, but never really wrestled their ass off.
With that out of the way, though… prepare yourself for some of the greatest insanity ever captured on WWE film. Triple H and The Rock have a fantastic Ladder Match: what they lack in crazy spots, they make up for in drama. The first and second TLC matches are feats of amazement: there are way too many incredible spots to list. Those two matches, in terms of show-stealing moments, stole more shows than most file-sharing programs. There's even a WCW Ladder Match thrown in, which is a great addition if you crave good WCW footage. Benoit and Jericho have an incredible powerhouse match: what they lack in craziness, they make up for in intensity. Plus, they still give us some huge spots. TLC III sees the craziness of the original triumvirate (Matt/Jeff, Edge/Christian, Dudleyz) mix perfectly with the all-out intensity of Chris Benoit and Chris Jericho. Although it's given away on free TV, TLC III is every bit as good as the first two. For the first half of it, I was ready to cast off TLC IV as a decent match with unique participants that had some cool chain-spots but lacked the devil-may-care spirit of the first three. Looking back, TLC IV does become the all-out insanity fuster-cluck that I mark like hell for…it just took a little longer.
TV has seen some excellent ladder matches over the years, and they're captured wonderfully in this compilation. Eddie Guerrero and Rob Van Dam have a fantastic match that revitalized Eddie's career. Matt Hardy and Edge have an incredibly dramatic "Loser Leaves Raw" Ladder Match that finished off a very intense, all-too-real feud. Johnny Nitro may have been a Ladder Match virgin going into his Ladder Match for the Intercontinental Championship against Jeff Hardy, but both men mix incredibly well and give us a very interesting match. Nitro's experience is well-served, as the Armageddon 4-Way Ladder Match saw him go at it alone after partner Joey Mercury's face shattered. While best-known for Joey Mercury's hideous facial injury, the Armageddon 4-Team Ladder Match lives up to a legacy of intensity and insanity, earning its place on this fantastic compilation.
My personal pick for "Best Match" may surprise some. I've got a lot to choose from: Bret Hart vs. Shawn Michaels, Triple H vs. The Rock, Benoit vs. Jericho, TLC…so many options, and yet one dark horse pulls in front of the pack and earns its spot as my favorite match of this compilation. Maybe it's not the best match overall, but the amount of intensity, drama, and heart made it one of the best Ladder Matches of all time in my estimation. It's a match so wonderfully executed that it made you believe anything was possible: The Undertaker vs. Jeff Hardy.
Surprised? Shocked? Allow me to explain. This match had in it the perfect underdog story. Jeff is in his element, but he's facing an Undertaker at his most-ruthless, a man that is basically unstoppable. That's the beauty of this match: The Undertaker is portrayed as an unstoppable force of destruction, meaning that Jeff has little to no hope of winning in a match that has defined his career. From the start, Hardy throws caution to the wind and begins pulling off every insane stunt possible in hopes of evening out the nigh-insurmountable odds. There are chair spots, ladder spots, and all kinds of death-defying spots that bring the crowd to their feet. The Undertaker's progression throughout this match is excellent: at first he is confused, then shocked, then angry. Before long, Undertaker realizes that he doesn't have to be a Ladder Match veteran: pounding Jeff into oblivion works just as well, and Undertaker ruthlessly picks him apart inch by inch. The beauty of this match is that, at multiple times, it actually seems like Jeff may have it in him to become the Undisputed Champion. Although it's an amazing leap of faith, this match gets you so involved that you're practically pleading alongside the announcers for Jeff to climb that ladder and live his dream. I even loved the ending: Jeff may not have won the gold, but his heart and his determination ultimately won him Undertaker's respect. While this night ultimately belonged to the Phenom, and while Jeff may have promptly ruined his momentum by getting himself fired, I still consider this match a sleeper hit that continues to amaze me.
I love this compilation. It's as simple as that. I can't believe I waited so long to buy this thing. I may hate that it's hosted by Todd Grisham, but the match selection is so excellent that I can't help but consider this one a must-have. Everything you love about Ladder Matches is here. Matches that defined wrestling for generations of fans are here. From 1979 to 2006, you're getting nothing but the best with very few exceptions. WWE Home Video managed to squeeze in 22 matches on a compilation that sells for about $20. Even taking in the somewhat-decent matches and Todd Grisham's abysmal hosting skills, that's less than a dollar a match. If you're a fan of these types of matches, no way does it get any better than this. If you have any interest in these matches whatsoever, no way does it get any better than this. Even if you buy this compilation only for a specific match, I have no problem in saying that just about everything else will amaze you if you give it a chance. I've got too much love for "The Ladder Match", so I'll spread it around: definitely pick this one up.
Meet the New School, Same as the Old School
A Review of "Unforgiven 2007" by PdW2kX
Posted April 13, 2008
It's easy to see how Unforgiven can be thought of as "Undertaker's PPV". The center point of the very first Unforgiven was an inferno match pitting The Undertaker against Kane. Undertaker has competed in every single Unforgiven except for the period of 2003-2006, when the Pay-Per-View was exclusive to the Raw brand. His likeness has graced the official poster for Unforgiven a total of four times, more than any other wrestler to date. So it's perfectly fitting that The Phenom would make his return after a four-month hiatus at the tenth annual Unforgiven. What follows is an unusual triple-branded Pay-Per-View that has its fair share of strengths and weaknesses.
The folks at ECW jerk the curtain, but what else is new? CM Punk and Elijah Burke give us a simple, straight-forward match that benefits from both man's athleticism. It's an o.k. match, but I personally thought that it went on for just a bit too long. Plus, it had a weird finish I wasn't really in love with. It's not a bad title defense, but seeing a match of this caliber as a main event of ECW on SciFi isn't out of the realm of possibilities either.
Next up is MVP and Matt Hardy taking on D&D. While I consider the Deuce & Domino gimmick a guilty little pleasure of mine, this match screams "Made for TV" louder than a B-Grade action movie. The ending does pick things up, but I can't find anything that really makes this match special or unique. This entire match was nothing more than fodder for the continuing Matt Hardy/MVP storyline, and I think it could've accomplished its goal just as well on an episode of SmackDown. I don't really know what I would replace this match with; I just think that it doesn't have that "PPV-quality" feel.
Then we have Triple H facing Carlito, with a No DQ stipulation that only applies to Carlito. Carlito uses his lopsided advantage to its fullest, nailing Triple H with everything from a trash can to the dreaded white powder. The referee strictly enforces the "No DQ only for Carlito" rule, but Trips still manages to get the job done and polishes off Carlito after he nails a low blow while the ref's back is turned, following it up with a Pedigree for the win. And yes, I recognize that that's a spoiler, but if you honestly believed that Carlito would win this thing you deserve to have an unmarked spoiler laugh at you.
We follow that up with a good little match for the Women's Championship. Even though the term "Glamazon" has been shoved down my throat so many times I'll be crapping it out more often than TNA craps out a horrible storyline, Beth Phoenix is a great big powerhouse of a woman that knows her way around a ring. JR says she's an American Bull Nakano, and while I think that Beth hasn't earned the right to be compared to Nakano just yet, she and Candice Michelle give us a match which proves that good WWE women's wrestling is not dead…even though it's definitely an endangered species. Regarding Candice Michelle, her level of improvement from the time of her debut until now can only be considered astronomical. She sucked that hard, and she's improved that much.
Batista and Rey Mysterio take on The Great Khali in a Triple-Threat Match for the World Heavyweight Championship in our next encounter. Honestly, Great Khali as WHC has got to be in contention for "Darkest Age in Smackdown History", seriously. Damn. Mysterio and Batista go the traditional "team up and then implode" route, with Khali taking on both of them and usually succeeding. The biggest selling point of this match is that all three men are portrayed as threats: Great Khali is the monster, Batista is the powerhouse, and Mysterio uses his agility to pick his spots and make his impact. Mysterio even hits a double 619, while Batista nails the Batista Bomb on Rey, planting him onto Khali. Batista wins it with a big Spinebuster to the "Punjabi Nightmare". And, yes, I realize that this is yet another dreaded unmarked spoiler. But, hey, screw it- I'm that glad that the World Heavyweight Championship is no longer with The Great Khali.
Unforgiven 2007's booking is so damn weird. Why else would our next match be Paul London and Brian Kendrick vs. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch? Just like the other tag team match, this one is made for TV. I really wish that London and Kendrick never moved to Raw. I can see the reason why- London and Kendrick had a great run as tag champs on SmackDown, after all. But nobody ever did anything with London and Kendrick's momentum, resulting in a rather bland match for the World Tag Team Championships. MVP and Matt Hardy vs. London and Kendrick could've been a show-stealer, but London and Kendrick vs. Cade and Murdoch is just another average match in a long, long line of average Cade/Murdoch matches.
Our semi-main event of the evening is Randy Orton vs. John Cena in a "You Punted My Father, You Jerk" match. In reality, Cena can't even get sympathy after his father is nearly kicked into oblivion- the fans boo him relentlessly. Neither man really stinks up the ring, but consider this: the most interesting point of this match was a "Let's Go Orton/Let's Go Cena" dueling chant that lasted longer than any I've ever heard. It lasted as long as the Randy Orton resthold spot it took place during, and we all know how long those damn things are. Cena gets a measure of revenge on Orton, but it's clear that the war isn't over. I get a measure of enjoyment out of this match, but it's clear that both men were holding back.
And then the main event is finally here- The Undertaker makes his big return to face Mark Henry. The Phenom walks out no different from when he left, and the crowd promptly goes deader than the Dead Man as Undertaker struggles to wrench a good match out of Mark Henry. JBL tries to cover up for the crowd's lack of caring by saying that the fans are "astonished and watching in amazement", but it's a paper-thin excuse. The crowd does get in to the match towards the end, though, and Henry takes an amazing Chokeslam before taking an even more amazing Last Ride. Given all the hype, especially all those crazy-ass videos of snakes and druids and little girls whispering and such, Undertaker's big return is just a bit on the anti-climatic side of things.
And so, there you have it. Was this Pay-Per-View good? Uhh…kinda. Was it bad? Not particularly. It had a couple of decent efforts in there, but it was plagued with weird booking and other strangeness, like Undertaker's lukewarm response and the fact that even Cena's dad being kicked in the head couldn't get the fans on Cena's side. In all likelihood, Unforgiven can best be summarized in one word: awkward. Unforgiven 2007 was really, really awkward.
I wasn't expecting a gala event, but there's no denying that some of these matches belonged on their respective brand's television shows. There's a lot of filler in this here Pay-Per-View. I actually enjoyed the Women's Title match the most, which is strange considering how star-studded this event seemed. Everyone did put in some effort…but many of the matches had different things that held them back, little awkward things that added up over time and eventually outshined the good. I can respect how WWE is trying to breathe life into the Tag Titles by continually putting them on Pay-Per-View, but let's be honest with ourselves: that horse is long dead, and it'll take more than an average match (World Titles) and a match where the tag titles weren't even the central point of the match (WWE Titles) to bring new life into those divisions. The ECW Title was mired in a level of mediocrity, while the outcome of Triple H/Carlito was so obvious I could barely get into it. Add two lukewarm title matches and a big return that ended up disappointing, and you've got something that's worthy of a rental but little more.
While I'm not really disappointed in how Unforgiven 2007 turned out, I'm not ecstatic about the PPV either. We had some goodness, little badness, and a great big pile of awkwardness. There are plenty of ways that this Pay-Per-View could've turned out better or worse, but I've never been one to play "armchair booker". Instead, I'll just say that Unforgiven is a decent Pay-Per-View that's worthy of a purchase only if you find something that really appeals to you. Otherwise, give the folks at BlockBuster some money and give Unforgiven 2007 a quick weekend watching.
Survivor Series Turns 21
A Review of "Survivor Series 2007" by PdW2kX
Posted April 13, 2008
Survivor Series has a long and sordid history, but has always been considered one of WWE's "big" events. Ten years after the Montreal Screwjob, Survivor Series 2007 looks to live up to that legacy with a triple-branded Pay-Per-View that has something for everybody. Shawn Michaels takes on Randy Orton in a stipulation-heavy match, Batista and Undertaker fight in the Hell in a Cell, and the traditional 5-on-5 match becomes 5-on-4, stacking the odds against Triple H and his band of faces. Despite some odd booking decisions I was not in favor of, overall this Survivor Series lives up to the impressive legacy of its predecessors.
The event rushes right out of the gate with a Triple-Threat match for the ECW Championship. I don't particularly enjoy the fact that a show's main championship is jerking the curtain, especially when this Pay-Per-View features Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch versus Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly. I know ECW is the C-Show…but honestly…the C-Show's A-Championship doesn't even outrank the A-Show's C-Championship? Especially when the match is Trevor Murdoch and Lance Cade versus Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly?! The three participants in this match- CM Punk, John Morrison, and The Miz- seem to be feeling just as frustrated as I am regarding their place on the card, because they come out firing hard with wicked quickness and excellent chain-spots. All three put on a hugely athletic, surprisingly dramatic match. John Morrison even busts out an insane Split-Legged Corkscrew Moonsault. This is a very fun match, a total sleeper hit, and it proves that even the C-Show can trump the competition if it's worked the right way and given enough time.
Next up is a 10-Diva match that is utterly pointless except for T&A value. The best part of this match is the entrances, especially because Melina promptly botches her entrance and nearly breaks her voluptuous ass. The second best part is Jerry Lawler slobbering over the Diva's while JR continually puts him down, most of the time by frequently talking about The King's failed relationships. If you're a red-blooded male with even the smallest trace of a libido, this one is good for a once-over, especially because it ends with some Hot Lesbian Action. But if you don't know how this thing breaks down as a wrestling match, you obviously haven't been watching the WWE for a long, long time.
The aforementioned World Tag Team Title match is just as abysmal as I thought it would be. The crowd is dead, the chemistry is lifeless, and this match would've found its home on Heat if it wasn't for the championships. Lance Cade and Trevor Murdoch do have some chemistry, but they're missing that X factor that makes a great tag team. They're decent wrestlers, but they have an archaic gimmick. That's all they have to offer. Hardcore Holly is only as good as the storyline that features him, and the mini-feud and subsequent pairing with Cody Rhodes generated as much heat as a tea candle. And Cody Rhodes, while having genetics on his side, is still greener than most forests.
The Pay-Per-View rebounds with the traditional Survivor Series Elimination Match, which stands the test of time as a dramatic match with an aura of constant unpredictability. It's great to see Raw stars like Triple H and Umaga mix it up with people like MVP and Rey Mysterio. The inter-mingling of the brands gives us some unique match-ups, and there's so many people involved that everyone's flaws are overlooked. Forget that Big Daddy V is basically immobile: he's in the ring just long enough to get over as an unstoppable force, and he's gone just before he begins stinking up the match. Just about everyone is utilized long enough to be important but not long enough to bring the suck. Although I slightly disliked how most of the match revolved around Triple H and Jeff Hardy, the 5-on-2 dynamic of Jeff and Trips facing impossible odds led to some great drama and some excellent false-finishes. While it's not a show-stealer, it's a very solid match that earns the right to be the longest match of the night.
The Pay-Per-View promptly shoots itself in the foot with the following match: Hornswoggle vs. The Great Khali. This one barely lasted three minutes, but those three minutes were such a complete waste of time that I feel even more upset that the ECW Title match jerked the curtain. When you consider the type of build and hype this storyline got when it first began, it's tough not to see "Hornswoggle McMahon" as the biggest WWE storyline implosion since the InVasion. Simply put: **** this match.
The roller-coaster ride of high's and low's continues with the next match, Shawn Michaels vs. Randy Orton for the WWE Championship, where Randy Orton loses the title if he purposely gets himself disqualified while HBK is forbidden to use the Sweet Chin Music. Survivor Series rebounds once again as HBK and Randy Orton tear up the ring in a fantastic match. Without his patented finisher, HBK adopts a submission-based offense, which works out better than I ever would've thought. Of course, being HBK, Shawn still manages to pull out amazing stuff like an Asai Moonsault. Orton sells and bumps his ass off while somehow retaining his aura of a cold and calculating career-killer: when it's his time to shine he's a ruthless son of a bitch, but seeing Orton squeal in pain as HBK works a submission is a thing of bliss. I was delighted to see HBK's expansive arsenal of moves come into play, as he worked everything from a Sharpshooter to an Ankle Lock, and he even put on the Crossface. Although you may not like the finish, I found it almost poetic. Plus, after the match HBK hits what is quite possibly the greatest Sweet Chin Music ever.
Our main event of the evening is a Hell in a Cell match to settle the Batista/Undertaker feud. While this match does find its groove, for the first half it feels like a standard Undertaker/Batista match. Then both men begin bleeding buckets, and all hell breaks loose. Both men kick out of each other's finishers, both men use hardcore weapons, hell, Batista even nails a Batista Bomb to Undertaker through a damn table. Batista kicks out of the Tombstone Piledriver, and the look on Undertaker's bloody face is classic. After a heinous Tombstone Piledriver onto some steel steps, Edge makes his return and costs Undertaker the match. Although the finish never really gave the Batista/Undertaker feud closure, it did set up some important storylines. In the end, I liked it.
Survivor Series 2007 may have suffered from some bad decisions, but overall I was impressed. There's some quality wrestling here, and not just wrestling of a single type. The ECW match gave us athleticism. The 5-on-4 match gave us drama. HBK/Orton practically stole the show. Undertaker/Batista gave us a good hardcore showing. Compared to those matches, the utter crapiness of Hornswoggle/Khali and the blandness of the World Tag Title defense pales in comparison. Survivor Series 2007 is definitely worth a rental, so pick it up if you get the chance. If you've got to have it all to yourself, it's a solid purchase. Despite some crap being thrown into the mix, Survivor Series '07 lives up to its legacy as one of the WWE's biggest PPV spectacles, so I've got no problem giving it a recommendation.
