Post by King Shocker the Monumentous on Mar 30, 2008 16:45:50 GMT -5
Edge vs. Undertaker
Money in the Bank
Bunnymania
Belfast Brawl
HBK/Flair
Batista/Umaga
Show/Mayweather
Finally, I've made it to the end. The main event.
And for those of you wondering why I didn't do a Tale for the ECW title match, that would be because I have no idea who the challenger is. You don't have to be Lanny Poffo do figure that one out.
Aaaaaaaaaanyway...
Three men. One title. One, the cocky Champion, who's beaten everyone put in front of him. One, a spiteful ex-champ who never lost his title. One, a man who last lost the title on a night where he had to wrestle 3 times.
Hometown
Cena: West Newbury, MA
HHH: Greenwich, CT
Orton: St. Louis, MO
Advantage: Orton. It's still too
ing cold in New England right now.
Height
Cena: 6'1"
HHH: 6'4"
Orton: 6'4"
Advantage: Not Cena, I'll tell you that much.
Weight
Cena: 240
HHH: 260
Orton: 245
Advantage: Triple H, definitely.
Finishing Move
Cena: FU, STFU.
HHH: Pedigree.
Orton: RKO.
Advantage: Triple H. I'm pretty sure kicking out of the Pedigree is grounds for being fired, drawn, and quartered, isn't it?
Wrestlemania Record
Cena: 5-0. Yes, I'm counting his battle rap win by forfeit at WMXIX.
HHH: 5-6.
Orton: 1-3.
Advantage: Cena. This isn't me, folks, it's math. Plus, Cena never got squashed in a minute and a half by a mentally unstable homophobe.
Entrance Music
Cena: "The Time is Now" by John Cena and Tha Trademarc
HHH: "The Game" by Motorhead.
Orton: "Burn in My Light" by Mercy Drive.
Advantage: Triple H. There's a lot to be said for pretty much having the same entrance music for the past 7 years. Plus, we all know who would win in a fight between Lemmy and God.
Film Appearance
Cena: Star of The Marine.
HHH: Minor role in Blade: Trinity.
Orton: Smart enough to stay out of the movies.
Advantage: Orton. Find one thing you do well, and keep doing it.
Won his first World title from...
Cena: JBL.
HHH: Mankind.
Orton: He-who-must-not-be-named.
Advantage: Triple H. He's the only one who beat a surefire future Hall-of-Famer for his first title.
Family Legacy
Cena: His dad is New England promoter and manager Johnny Fabulous.
HHH: He's married into the McMahon family. That makes him a McMahon by assimilation.
Orton: His grandfather was "The Big O" Bob Orton, his father is "Cowboy" Bob Orton, and his Uncle is journeyman Barry O.
Advantage: As tempted as I am to give it to Hunter...Orton. It's actually in his blood.
Overused Move
Cena: Anything football-related...mostly shoulderblocks.
HHH: Knee strikes.
Orton: Sleeper holds.
Advantage: Triple H. Between studying under Ric Flair and watching tapes of Harley Race, those knees are about as deadly as they come. Sadly, between his 2 torn quads and his knee-impact-heavy moveset, I feel that one day Hunter's legs are just going to go out on him.
FINAL VERDICT
Who should win: As much as this pains me to say it, Triple H. He hasn't had a proper title reign in a long time, and even as a face, he's super-over right now.
Who will win: It's really difficult to say, but I can almost guarantee it won't be Randy Orton.
And that's all until next year, folks. Enjoy the show, and remember, as your moderator, I'm urging you to keep all bitching and complaining in the Official Thread.
Money in the Bank
Bunnymania
Belfast Brawl
HBK/Flair
Batista/Umaga
Show/Mayweather
Finally, I've made it to the end. The main event.
And for those of you wondering why I didn't do a Tale for the ECW title match, that would be because I have no idea who the challenger is. You don't have to be Lanny Poffo do figure that one out.
Aaaaaaaaaanyway...
Three men. One title. One, the cocky Champion, who's beaten everyone put in front of him. One, a spiteful ex-champ who never lost his title. One, a man who last lost the title on a night where he had to wrestle 3 times.
Hometown
Cena: West Newbury, MA
HHH: Greenwich, CT
Orton: St. Louis, MO
Advantage: Orton. It's still too
ing cold in New England right now.Height
Cena: 6'1"
HHH: 6'4"
Orton: 6'4"
Advantage: Not Cena, I'll tell you that much.
Weight
Cena: 240
HHH: 260
Orton: 245
Advantage: Triple H, definitely.
Finishing Move
Cena: FU, STFU.
HHH: Pedigree.
Orton: RKO.
Advantage: Triple H. I'm pretty sure kicking out of the Pedigree is grounds for being fired, drawn, and quartered, isn't it?
Wrestlemania Record
Cena: 5-0. Yes, I'm counting his battle rap win by forfeit at WMXIX.
HHH: 5-6.
Orton: 1-3.
Advantage: Cena. This isn't me, folks, it's math. Plus, Cena never got squashed in a minute and a half by a mentally unstable homophobe.
Entrance Music
Cena: "The Time is Now" by John Cena and Tha Trademarc
HHH: "The Game" by Motorhead.
Orton: "Burn in My Light" by Mercy Drive.
Advantage: Triple H. There's a lot to be said for pretty much having the same entrance music for the past 7 years. Plus, we all know who would win in a fight between Lemmy and God.
Film Appearance
Cena: Star of The Marine.
HHH: Minor role in Blade: Trinity.
Orton: Smart enough to stay out of the movies.
Advantage: Orton. Find one thing you do well, and keep doing it.
Won his first World title from...
Cena: JBL.
HHH: Mankind.
Orton: He-who-must-not-be-named.
Advantage: Triple H. He's the only one who beat a surefire future Hall-of-Famer for his first title.
Family Legacy
Cena: His dad is New England promoter and manager Johnny Fabulous.
HHH: He's married into the McMahon family. That makes him a McMahon by assimilation.
Orton: His grandfather was "The Big O" Bob Orton, his father is "Cowboy" Bob Orton, and his Uncle is journeyman Barry O.
Advantage: As tempted as I am to give it to Hunter...Orton. It's actually in his blood.
Overused Move
Cena: Anything football-related...mostly shoulderblocks.
HHH: Knee strikes.
Orton: Sleeper holds.
Advantage: Triple H. Between studying under Ric Flair and watching tapes of Harley Race, those knees are about as deadly as they come. Sadly, between his 2 torn quads and his knee-impact-heavy moveset, I feel that one day Hunter's legs are just going to go out on him.
FINAL VERDICT
Who should win: As much as this pains me to say it, Triple H. He hasn't had a proper title reign in a long time, and even as a face, he's super-over right now.
Who will win: It's really difficult to say, but I can almost guarantee it won't be Randy Orton.
And that's all until next year, folks. Enjoy the show, and remember, as your moderator, I'm urging you to keep all bitching and complaining in the Official Thread.
