Post by thesouthsidekid on Jun 4, 2007 2:58:54 GMT -5
There is a saying that is used in athletics. “Leave it all out there.” It can be altered for any sport. It is something I was taught by my trainer, Robbie Eagle. It is something that I practice every time I get into the ring. But this one question is what I’ve been asking myself since my loss to Yukio. Did I leave it all in the ring? Did I give it absolutely everything that I had against him? Did I give it all that I had against Obo two weeks back? Was that really the best I could do?
I continued to ponder this as I packed my bags and prepared to leave the house. The next show was in New York, and I needed to catch a plane in less than an hour. I opened the door and stepped outside of my house and check to make sure I had everything for the trip. The temperature on this Friday afternoon was hot and humid. The heat made me think of the crowd in the stands, sweating and giving it all they could give, cheering on their favorite wrestlers. I walked over to my car and opened the door and unlocked the back door to the car and tossed the bag in the backseat. I climbed in the car and closed the door.
Damnit that’s hot! I’m really regretting getting leather seats in this car, they absorb too much heat. Ok, get focused damn you. You got a match coming up! Your back is up against the wall. You got to concern yourself with getting ready. You didn’t get the job done the last two weeks because you were soft! You let up when you thought you had it won! Robbie would kick your ass for those late match displays. He would be sickened by how you let up! Now get your ass to the airport and get to the show and get ready!
I started the ignition of my car and put the car in reverse and backed out of the driveway. I put the car in first and began to drive down my street, shifting to second as I see a couple of young teenagers riding skateboards up and down the street. I came to the stop sign at the end of my street and looked to see if traffic was coming. The way was clear so I pulled out into the road and gained acceleration, shifting gears as I thought about those teenagers riding the skateboards no more than a couple hundred feet behind me.
They reminded me of when I was their age. Damn that was a long time ago. I’ve made peace with that time, but I still think about it on occasion. Carefree was not just a word; it was my way of life. Back then, I gave it all I had in me back then in any situation. But thinking back about the way I came up, I had to be that way I guess you can say. I didn’t worry about injuries, I couldn’t. The people I was around knew if you worried about an injury, and they were smart enough to exploit it. Much like CBT, he is a man that is smart enough to know how to exploit a weakness. He is smart enough to know when someone is tired and can’t go much longer. That is why he is the International Champion. But all of that is going to change. It has to. Whether or not I win, I have to leave it all in the ring. Then I can’t have any regrets.
I shifted my gears down as I came to a slow stop at a red light. My cell phone was in my seat next to me and I picked it up and flipped it open to get a glance at the time. 2:10 P.M. I patiently waited for the light to turn green. The turn off to the airport was in the far left hand lane and I was in the far right hand lane of a four lane road. The light turned green as I hit the gas again.
Ok, I have twenty minutes to get to the airport and find my terminal to get on the plane. Come on man, you can make it. Oh look at this guy trying to outspeed me and not let me in front of him. crap, he’s being a real prick. Ok, you want to play bitch, let’s play!
My adrenaline started to kick in as I shifted my car down to fourth gear and then right back up to fifth to give me a slight advantage. I was sharp, my eyes checking for everything around me as he and I had a clear lane. I checked my speedometer gauge, and I was surprised to see that I was pushing over 100 mph.
Maybe I should back off for a second. It’s a big risk driving this fast. What if I wreck? That crap would be just fine and dandy, wreck and possibly kill my self or end my career before one of the biggest matches of my life. This match, I need to look at it on the same level as my World Title shot two weeks ago. I need to be there and healthy. I can’t risk it. Maybe I slow down.
What the hell am I saying? Slow down and let this little punk get the better of me. What the hell Josh? Letting up again? This is what has happened the last two weeks. I’ve second-guessed myself about being able to finish the job. I get scared that I’m going to get injured or screw up something, and what do I have to show for it? NOTHING! I should have beaten Obo and Yukio Blaze! I should be the WFWF World Heavyweight and one half of the World Tag Team Champions! But no title for me! Snap out if Josh and lock it up! CBT lives to embarrass people. I let up for one second; he’ll embarrass me too. Push the gas and blow this punk out of the water!
I began to stomp my foot down on the gas pedal as my speed increased. I shifted the car into fourth gear. I double clutched and shifted hard into fifth and I saw his car start to fall behind. I double clutched again and I leaped ahead some more. He was almost in my rear view mirror I pushed the pedal down as far as it could go. I glanced at my speedometer and I was shocked that my car could go 140 mph. I peered over and the other car was in rear view mirror. I slowed my speed down as my heart was racing still and I shifted over into the proper lane and just in time. I got off the exit of where the airport is and I made a turn at the end of the ramp onto the road. The airport was in sight as I looked at my phone. 2:21 PM. Damn, I’m good!
I pulled into the airport long-term parking lot and found a spot as close to the airport as I could get. Time was of the essence as I pulled into a spot and grabbed my bags on the fly. I opened the door and jumped out of the car. I locked it quickly and take off in a dead sprint towards the building. I dodged cars coming at me full speed, as people were also trying to get to their flights. They were like me, giving it their all to get to where they were going. The building was getting closer, so I turned my speed up a little more. Weaving in and out of the rows of cars as quickly as I could. I made it inside of the building as I looked around for a sign pointing to my terminal.
crap, where is it? All these signs. Yes the big board of flight times. Ok let’s see, Syracuse, Syracuse. Ok, come on, Syracuse. 2:30. Ah ha, I found it! Gate B17! Ok, let’s go!
I begin to run again. I peer out of the corner of my eyes to keep an eye out for any sign of the gate. Nothing was stood out as I weaved in and out of the masses of people going in both directions. I stopped for a minute and I looked up at the for the direction arrow. B-17 was straight ahead. I continued to run. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket. Oh no, 2:27.
Oh crap, I’m going to be late! I got to make it, wait, there is a bunch of people, but no one is moving, hallelujah! I made it. This is going to take forever. Man I hope they go faster than this, otherwise it’ll be midnight before the plane takes off, and I have places to be!
Just then I felt my phone start to vibrate in my hand. I looked at the caller ID, and it read Marty. What could Marty want? I flipped open the phone. I put it up to my ear.
“Hello?”
Marty: Josh, it’s Marty.
“Hey Marty. What’s up?”
Marty: Are you at the airport yet?
“Yeah, I just got here in time to catch my flight. Why, what’s the problem?”
Marty: You need to catch a later flight to Syracuse. There is an emergency. Amy is in the hospital and she needs you.
My heart dropped there for a moment, what’s wrong? Is she ok, Marty better tell me something soon, because I’m about ready to go to New York, and fight one of the biggest matches of my career, and I have to be ready to give it my all. How can I do that with this hanging over my head?
“Is she ok?”
Marty: Yeah, she’s at Thomas Memorial Hospital, room 313. You better make it soon.
“Ok Marty. Goodbye.”
I hung up the phone. This line, this match, this struggle to get to the airport on time, this flight. All of sudden took a back seat to what lied ahead of me at Thomas Memorial Hospital.
I began to run again, back in the opposite direction. Weaving in and out of the crowds of people, my one focus was getting to the hospital. My focus was to make sure everything was ok with Amy. I lowered my head and churned my legs as fast as I could. It seemed like I was floating, like I was having an out of body experience of some sort as I exited the building and continued across the parking lots to the long term parking. I found my car and used the auto unlock to unlock the door. I ran to the car and opened the door. I hopped in and put the key in ignition. I started the ignition and pulled the car out of the space. Putting the car in gear, I peeled out and swerved onto the main road, not fasting my seatbelt. Luckily, the hospital was about 10 minutes away. I shifted through the gears as I again weaved in and out of traffic, just like Déjà vu all over again.
I saw the hospital in sight from a distance as I shoved the accelerator down with my foot. I shifted the turn signal on and got off the exit. I came to a slower speed as I entered an intersection and I turned the turn signal again. Without stopping, I rabbit jumped the intersection and shifted gears as I sped towards the hospital. The traffic was surprisingly clear as I got to the red light to turn into the hospital. As I turned in, again I searched for a spot. I swerved and pulled into a spot towards the back. I jumped out of the car and locked it again and took off in a dead sprint to the hospital.
I’m almost there, just a few more feet. I hope she is ok. Please let it not be anything bad. Please, she and Marty are my only two family I have left. 313 just remember that. 313.
I ran and the sliding doors for the hospital opened as I sprinted in. I stopped right in front of the information desk and spotted an elevator to my left. I ran to the elevator and pressed the button to go up. The elevator wasn’t opening yet. I began to punch the door itself. Many of the people were watching as my frustration built.
“COME ON YOU PIECE OF crap! I HAVE AN EMERGENCY! COME ON!”
My hands began to tremble in anger, but the door finally opened and I went inside the elevator and pressed the button. The doors closed and the elevator began its descent. Finally the elevator stopped on the third floor. The doors couldn’t open fast enough as I blast out of them and ran into the hall. I saw the sign that led me to where the rooms where. I ran and took a left at the end of the hall.
Let’s see here, 301, 303, 305. Damnit, come one Josh, 313. End of the hall you idiot!
I ran to the end of the hall and there it was, room 313. The door was open about halfway. I slipped inside to make myself incognito. I walked into the room and in plain view, I saw her. Amy, the wife of my trainer, and a woman that should be my mother, and pretty much is. I stood over her as she was sleeping. She looked so innocent, so care free. Peaceful, something that I had longed for so long to gain but is still so hard for me to find. She turned her head and opened her eyes. A smile cracked her face, as I knew she had seen me.
Amy: Hi Josh.
“Hi Amy.”
She was weak, she knew it, I knew it. She wanted to give me a hug, but when she tried to sit up, she wasn’t able to and she fell back into the bed, breathing hard.
“Save your strength. I am here now, and I’m not going anywhere.”
And I wasn’t, my mind wasn’t even on wrestling anymore. It was on making sure that no matter how much money it took, Amy was going to get the best treatment available. I pulled out my cell phone and flipped it open. Amy looked shocked and gave me an inquisitive look.
Amy What are you doing?
“Calling CBT, telling him the match is off. My mind isn’t on wrestling right now. My mind is on you and your health. So what is wrong with you.”
Amy: Josh, I………….
Just then, I got up and grabbed her medical files off the shelf and opened them to look at her diagnosis. Hoping for the best-case scenario. But this wasn’t the case. Ductal Carcinoma in 80 percent of the breast.
“Breast Cancer.”
Amy: Yeah, and it’s bad Josh.
“What are they going to do to you?”
Amy: They’re going to do surgery in the morning. Then starting tomorrow afternoon, I do chemo.
“And I will be here with you ever step of the way. Even if I have to take off wrestling, I’ll do it.”
Amy: Don’t be silly Josh. Wrestling is your life.
“Amy, I have to do this. I watched Robbie die, and I’m not about to do the same with you.”
Amy: Josh put the phone down, and listen to me. We never give up on anything. Never! As long as we have each other, we will make it through. I’m going to give it my all to beat this, and I will beat this. But if in the even I don’t, then it must be my time to go. But you, you have a great opportunity here. You are fighting for one of the most prestigious titles in the world in a couple days, and you need to focus on that. You give it your all there, and I’ll give it my all here.
I folded my phone back up and put it into my pocket. I grabbed her hand and held it for a minute. My cares disappeared in that instant, and again my focus came at the task at hand. It was getting a title belt, it was about competing and finishing the job. I made up my mind, that I would stay with her tonight, catching a flight tomorrow to get to Felo De Se.
Message to CBT: All or Nothing
CBT, owner of WFWF. International Champion. The list of accomplishments go on an on my friend. You really are the Current Big Thing. It’s no doubt. But C, let’s talk for a minute about this match. This potentially epic battle we may face for the International Title. For the last two weeks, I’ve been on the verge of winning both the Tag Team and World Heavyweight Titles respectively, only for the opportunity to slip through my grasp. So close, yet so far away as the old expression would say.
But I’ve realized just why the opportunities slipped, it is because I let up when the match was almost at hand. I didn’t finish the job. Believe me, I’m already hearing the monikers, chokes under pressure, not able to finish. CBT, you are the one I will use to eliminate the stereotype. For you see, this is an all or nothing situation. I have nothing more to lose, and everything to gain. You, well you are the opposite. You have everything to lose, and nothing to gain. I’m just a blip to you. But I’m just like a cobra, I wait, I bide my time, and I strike. Next thing you know, its over.
CBT, I’m going to give you something to think about. Think about back when you first won the title, not from Tyme, but from McGurk. No one honestly gave you a snowballs chance in hell. You hadn’t been seen since December, nobody thought you were prepared. What did you do? You shocked the world that night. You gave it everything you had, and it was enough that night. And now you have to ask yourself, if I give it my all, will it be enough to keep my title. It’s all or nothing CBT, what’s the choice going to be? And will it be enough?
I continued to ponder this as I packed my bags and prepared to leave the house. The next show was in New York, and I needed to catch a plane in less than an hour. I opened the door and stepped outside of my house and check to make sure I had everything for the trip. The temperature on this Friday afternoon was hot and humid. The heat made me think of the crowd in the stands, sweating and giving it all they could give, cheering on their favorite wrestlers. I walked over to my car and opened the door and unlocked the back door to the car and tossed the bag in the backseat. I climbed in the car and closed the door.
Damnit that’s hot! I’m really regretting getting leather seats in this car, they absorb too much heat. Ok, get focused damn you. You got a match coming up! Your back is up against the wall. You got to concern yourself with getting ready. You didn’t get the job done the last two weeks because you were soft! You let up when you thought you had it won! Robbie would kick your ass for those late match displays. He would be sickened by how you let up! Now get your ass to the airport and get to the show and get ready!
I started the ignition of my car and put the car in reverse and backed out of the driveway. I put the car in first and began to drive down my street, shifting to second as I see a couple of young teenagers riding skateboards up and down the street. I came to the stop sign at the end of my street and looked to see if traffic was coming. The way was clear so I pulled out into the road and gained acceleration, shifting gears as I thought about those teenagers riding the skateboards no more than a couple hundred feet behind me.
They reminded me of when I was their age. Damn that was a long time ago. I’ve made peace with that time, but I still think about it on occasion. Carefree was not just a word; it was my way of life. Back then, I gave it all I had in me back then in any situation. But thinking back about the way I came up, I had to be that way I guess you can say. I didn’t worry about injuries, I couldn’t. The people I was around knew if you worried about an injury, and they were smart enough to exploit it. Much like CBT, he is a man that is smart enough to know how to exploit a weakness. He is smart enough to know when someone is tired and can’t go much longer. That is why he is the International Champion. But all of that is going to change. It has to. Whether or not I win, I have to leave it all in the ring. Then I can’t have any regrets.
I shifted my gears down as I came to a slow stop at a red light. My cell phone was in my seat next to me and I picked it up and flipped it open to get a glance at the time. 2:10 P.M. I patiently waited for the light to turn green. The turn off to the airport was in the far left hand lane and I was in the far right hand lane of a four lane road. The light turned green as I hit the gas again.
Ok, I have twenty minutes to get to the airport and find my terminal to get on the plane. Come on man, you can make it. Oh look at this guy trying to outspeed me and not let me in front of him. crap, he’s being a real prick. Ok, you want to play bitch, let’s play!
My adrenaline started to kick in as I shifted my car down to fourth gear and then right back up to fifth to give me a slight advantage. I was sharp, my eyes checking for everything around me as he and I had a clear lane. I checked my speedometer gauge, and I was surprised to see that I was pushing over 100 mph.
Maybe I should back off for a second. It’s a big risk driving this fast. What if I wreck? That crap would be just fine and dandy, wreck and possibly kill my self or end my career before one of the biggest matches of my life. This match, I need to look at it on the same level as my World Title shot two weeks ago. I need to be there and healthy. I can’t risk it. Maybe I slow down.
What the hell am I saying? Slow down and let this little punk get the better of me. What the hell Josh? Letting up again? This is what has happened the last two weeks. I’ve second-guessed myself about being able to finish the job. I get scared that I’m going to get injured or screw up something, and what do I have to show for it? NOTHING! I should have beaten Obo and Yukio Blaze! I should be the WFWF World Heavyweight and one half of the World Tag Team Champions! But no title for me! Snap out if Josh and lock it up! CBT lives to embarrass people. I let up for one second; he’ll embarrass me too. Push the gas and blow this punk out of the water!
I began to stomp my foot down on the gas pedal as my speed increased. I shifted the car into fourth gear. I double clutched and shifted hard into fifth and I saw his car start to fall behind. I double clutched again and I leaped ahead some more. He was almost in my rear view mirror I pushed the pedal down as far as it could go. I glanced at my speedometer and I was shocked that my car could go 140 mph. I peered over and the other car was in rear view mirror. I slowed my speed down as my heart was racing still and I shifted over into the proper lane and just in time. I got off the exit of where the airport is and I made a turn at the end of the ramp onto the road. The airport was in sight as I looked at my phone. 2:21 PM. Damn, I’m good!
I pulled into the airport long-term parking lot and found a spot as close to the airport as I could get. Time was of the essence as I pulled into a spot and grabbed my bags on the fly. I opened the door and jumped out of the car. I locked it quickly and take off in a dead sprint towards the building. I dodged cars coming at me full speed, as people were also trying to get to their flights. They were like me, giving it their all to get to where they were going. The building was getting closer, so I turned my speed up a little more. Weaving in and out of the rows of cars as quickly as I could. I made it inside of the building as I looked around for a sign pointing to my terminal.
crap, where is it? All these signs. Yes the big board of flight times. Ok let’s see, Syracuse, Syracuse. Ok, come on, Syracuse. 2:30. Ah ha, I found it! Gate B17! Ok, let’s go!
I begin to run again. I peer out of the corner of my eyes to keep an eye out for any sign of the gate. Nothing was stood out as I weaved in and out of the masses of people going in both directions. I stopped for a minute and I looked up at the for the direction arrow. B-17 was straight ahead. I continued to run. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket. Oh no, 2:27.
Oh crap, I’m going to be late! I got to make it, wait, there is a bunch of people, but no one is moving, hallelujah! I made it. This is going to take forever. Man I hope they go faster than this, otherwise it’ll be midnight before the plane takes off, and I have places to be!
Just then I felt my phone start to vibrate in my hand. I looked at the caller ID, and it read Marty. What could Marty want? I flipped open the phone. I put it up to my ear.
“Hello?”
Marty: Josh, it’s Marty.
“Hey Marty. What’s up?”
Marty: Are you at the airport yet?
“Yeah, I just got here in time to catch my flight. Why, what’s the problem?”
Marty: You need to catch a later flight to Syracuse. There is an emergency. Amy is in the hospital and she needs you.
My heart dropped there for a moment, what’s wrong? Is she ok, Marty better tell me something soon, because I’m about ready to go to New York, and fight one of the biggest matches of my career, and I have to be ready to give it my all. How can I do that with this hanging over my head?
“Is she ok?”
Marty: Yeah, she’s at Thomas Memorial Hospital, room 313. You better make it soon.
“Ok Marty. Goodbye.”
I hung up the phone. This line, this match, this struggle to get to the airport on time, this flight. All of sudden took a back seat to what lied ahead of me at Thomas Memorial Hospital.
I began to run again, back in the opposite direction. Weaving in and out of the crowds of people, my one focus was getting to the hospital. My focus was to make sure everything was ok with Amy. I lowered my head and churned my legs as fast as I could. It seemed like I was floating, like I was having an out of body experience of some sort as I exited the building and continued across the parking lots to the long term parking. I found my car and used the auto unlock to unlock the door. I ran to the car and opened the door. I hopped in and put the key in ignition. I started the ignition and pulled the car out of the space. Putting the car in gear, I peeled out and swerved onto the main road, not fasting my seatbelt. Luckily, the hospital was about 10 minutes away. I shifted through the gears as I again weaved in and out of traffic, just like Déjà vu all over again.
I saw the hospital in sight from a distance as I shoved the accelerator down with my foot. I shifted the turn signal on and got off the exit. I came to a slower speed as I entered an intersection and I turned the turn signal again. Without stopping, I rabbit jumped the intersection and shifted gears as I sped towards the hospital. The traffic was surprisingly clear as I got to the red light to turn into the hospital. As I turned in, again I searched for a spot. I swerved and pulled into a spot towards the back. I jumped out of the car and locked it again and took off in a dead sprint to the hospital.
I’m almost there, just a few more feet. I hope she is ok. Please let it not be anything bad. Please, she and Marty are my only two family I have left. 313 just remember that. 313.
I ran and the sliding doors for the hospital opened as I sprinted in. I stopped right in front of the information desk and spotted an elevator to my left. I ran to the elevator and pressed the button to go up. The elevator wasn’t opening yet. I began to punch the door itself. Many of the people were watching as my frustration built.
“COME ON YOU PIECE OF crap! I HAVE AN EMERGENCY! COME ON!”
My hands began to tremble in anger, but the door finally opened and I went inside the elevator and pressed the button. The doors closed and the elevator began its descent. Finally the elevator stopped on the third floor. The doors couldn’t open fast enough as I blast out of them and ran into the hall. I saw the sign that led me to where the rooms where. I ran and took a left at the end of the hall.
Let’s see here, 301, 303, 305. Damnit, come one Josh, 313. End of the hall you idiot!
I ran to the end of the hall and there it was, room 313. The door was open about halfway. I slipped inside to make myself incognito. I walked into the room and in plain view, I saw her. Amy, the wife of my trainer, and a woman that should be my mother, and pretty much is. I stood over her as she was sleeping. She looked so innocent, so care free. Peaceful, something that I had longed for so long to gain but is still so hard for me to find. She turned her head and opened her eyes. A smile cracked her face, as I knew she had seen me.
Amy: Hi Josh.
“Hi Amy.”
She was weak, she knew it, I knew it. She wanted to give me a hug, but when she tried to sit up, she wasn’t able to and she fell back into the bed, breathing hard.
“Save your strength. I am here now, and I’m not going anywhere.”
And I wasn’t, my mind wasn’t even on wrestling anymore. It was on making sure that no matter how much money it took, Amy was going to get the best treatment available. I pulled out my cell phone and flipped it open. Amy looked shocked and gave me an inquisitive look.
Amy What are you doing?
“Calling CBT, telling him the match is off. My mind isn’t on wrestling right now. My mind is on you and your health. So what is wrong with you.”
Amy: Josh, I………….
Just then, I got up and grabbed her medical files off the shelf and opened them to look at her diagnosis. Hoping for the best-case scenario. But this wasn’t the case. Ductal Carcinoma in 80 percent of the breast.
“Breast Cancer.”
Amy: Yeah, and it’s bad Josh.
“What are they going to do to you?”
Amy: They’re going to do surgery in the morning. Then starting tomorrow afternoon, I do chemo.
“And I will be here with you ever step of the way. Even if I have to take off wrestling, I’ll do it.”
Amy: Don’t be silly Josh. Wrestling is your life.
“Amy, I have to do this. I watched Robbie die, and I’m not about to do the same with you.”
Amy: Josh put the phone down, and listen to me. We never give up on anything. Never! As long as we have each other, we will make it through. I’m going to give it my all to beat this, and I will beat this. But if in the even I don’t, then it must be my time to go. But you, you have a great opportunity here. You are fighting for one of the most prestigious titles in the world in a couple days, and you need to focus on that. You give it your all there, and I’ll give it my all here.
I folded my phone back up and put it into my pocket. I grabbed her hand and held it for a minute. My cares disappeared in that instant, and again my focus came at the task at hand. It was getting a title belt, it was about competing and finishing the job. I made up my mind, that I would stay with her tonight, catching a flight tomorrow to get to Felo De Se.
Message to CBT: All or Nothing
CBT, owner of WFWF. International Champion. The list of accomplishments go on an on my friend. You really are the Current Big Thing. It’s no doubt. But C, let’s talk for a minute about this match. This potentially epic battle we may face for the International Title. For the last two weeks, I’ve been on the verge of winning both the Tag Team and World Heavyweight Titles respectively, only for the opportunity to slip through my grasp. So close, yet so far away as the old expression would say.
But I’ve realized just why the opportunities slipped, it is because I let up when the match was almost at hand. I didn’t finish the job. Believe me, I’m already hearing the monikers, chokes under pressure, not able to finish. CBT, you are the one I will use to eliminate the stereotype. For you see, this is an all or nothing situation. I have nothing more to lose, and everything to gain. You, well you are the opposite. You have everything to lose, and nothing to gain. I’m just a blip to you. But I’m just like a cobra, I wait, I bide my time, and I strike. Next thing you know, its over.
CBT, I’m going to give you something to think about. Think about back when you first won the title, not from Tyme, but from McGurk. No one honestly gave you a snowballs chance in hell. You hadn’t been seen since December, nobody thought you were prepared. What did you do? You shocked the world that night. You gave it everything you had, and it was enough that night. And now you have to ask yourself, if I give it my all, will it be enough to keep my title. It’s all or nothing CBT, what’s the choice going to be? And will it be enough?
