11/11/06: Reckless... Whats Wrong?

[razoralltheway]

Sitting up high, on the cold and darkend rafters of the arena roof, Reckless sits and ponders why he hasnt won yet.

Reckless: I dont understand, ive tried my best, i have done all i can, but it seems not enough. What have i done wrong. Asid said that if i follow what he said, it would work, it didnt. Do i keep trusting him. I dont think so.

A red light shines on Reckless and he looks down at the ring below him.

Reckless: God its high up here. I should be this high all the time, i like it. Maybe i should bring Shields and CJR up here and show then the high life.

Reckless laughs and lays back on the rafter.

Reckless: That Shields might need his own shield by the time he has seen what i can do to him. Maybe he could use CJR for a while until i destroy him and then take out Shields, that sounds like a plan. Nah it will never work.

Suddenly the light turns white and moves away, Reckless stands up and follows it along the rafter. He reaches the end and climbs down.

Reckless: Tonight will be differant. Tonight i will begin my rise through the WFWF and maybe one day i will be ontop of the world. Pretty much like i was this arena.

Reckless leaves through a door as the scene fades away, but just as it goes, Reckless starts to laugh and you hear that fade away aswell


Here is my RP, hope you all like it

[Yukio Blaze]

Now this was good because you're just now starting out, but you need to expand and go more in depth with both the speech and description. You might also want to look at other rp's around here to get some inspiration.


Good luck

[B-Radimus Prime]

Try capitalizing ‘I’ on account of that’s like…a rule in grammar. And good grammar is always a plus.

I haven’t read any of your RP’s yet, but then again… I’m just now getting active in WFWF again. This RP was rather short (that’s not always a bad thing), but with the lack of speech and description here, it comes off as a weak read. The idea was good though, being on the top of the arena and hoping to be at the top of the world/WFWF. Just try adding more in-depth speech so we can really feel your character, and detail so we get a real idea of the emotion and the settings and you’ll be great.

[Calvin]

For surely, you have to expland on your opening. There just isn't enough discrption....is it night? day? is it cold? rainy? try to picture in your mind: Ok, Reckless is on top of a building....what would make this look best....andiny our mind think...what would be on a building at what time of day.....what would you see....and type. You'll be surprised what comes out.

Your speech is decent. Your character is for surely confident. But think to yourself....what would a confident person say? Would he just say what he said there? Also, expand. You say Shields is going to need a shield? Why? You said you'd beat him. What makes you think you will beat him? Say every little bit that you would say to someone you were going to face....get where I'm going with this?

Also, grammer is an issue...I advise you use word, or something like word that has spell check.....makes a HUGE difference.

[cureforthesickness]

while I like the vague weed referances and it is a good start, you definately need to expand. Research your opponents. Try to dig up dirt on them. Talk trash on your opponents. Expand more on your description. Make us believe where you are, why you're there, and what it has to do with the story.. And expand your speech. Tell all your thoughts and make your thoughts clear