10/13 Odium Rp

[Revvie®]

The Aftermath and The Revival

Ok there you go, my rp for my match against Calvin. I was very happy with this rp, it flowed well and it was short, simple, and covered the point and without mindless rambling or causing boredom, well thats all in my opinion but i will let you all the judge. I wish Calvin the best of luck in our match.

Comments and Critism are Welcome.

Revvie

[Calvin]

Ok.....first of all.....I'm confused as to why you have your own site for rps...but whatever.

Description is pretty good...first person is always impressive in my eyes.

Speech was good......I think people use family members as a freebie for support....and personally.....I thinkit's cheesey for a mother to say "although I don't agree with this..I will listen." In my opinion...I think the mother would be more like "no...you were almostkilled out there......I will not allow you to do it again!" but that's my opinion. I'll try to get a rp up if it's this sunday as the deadline....can't make a promise whether it'll be good or not though.

[sonstuds]

squeaks said:

I thinkit's cheesey for a mother to say "although I don't agree with this..I will listen." In my opinion...I think the mother would be more like "no...you were almostkilled out there......I will not allow you to do it again!" but that's my opinion.

And she basically started out that way.

Cool roleplay. I like how your roleplays aren't just standard "wrestling promos". They come off as someone who isn't just in front of a camera but is actually having a conversation. My big, and really only, complaint would be your spelling and grammar. I'm normally not gonna knock someone for having a couple of missing words and what not, but you actually used "b/c" in it. Internet shorthand is arguably one of the worst things to see in a roleplay. Plus you continually spelt Anointed wrong. And with me just nit-picking, I thought the "AMEN!!" at the end was kind of stupid. By just taking the caps lock off and putting a period it'd look better and wouldn't sound so forced.

I'm a fan of your stuff because you're creative. Your roleplays are neat.

[Revvie®]

yea i know I have been having a problem with my spelling and grammar, mostly cuz i write quicker then I should and I only have word pad. I tried to find a good spell check online but most confuse the hell out of me and dont work as easy as one on word would and whenver I use the one on here my puter freezes. I'll start reading over my stuff from now on thanx for you comment btw it was much appreciated.

Revvie