SB RP 2- In This River

[Yukio Blaze]

We seem to be going through a period of nostalgia, and everyone seems to think yesterday was better than today. I don't think it was, and I would advise you not to wait ten years before admitting today was great. If you're hung up on nostalgia, pretend today is yesterday and just go out and have one hell of a time - Art Buchwald

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It's a very gloomy day in the town of Willminton. Just recently, a group of contractor's and investor's bought up a bunch of land in the town to put up casino's, hotel's and other profitable establishment's. If you walk down street's, all you see are houses for sale, the silhouette sound's of kid's laughing and then you notice that kid's toy's and bicycle's are in the street's broken and damaged. Now walk down main street. You picture a busy little town with all kind's of store's, to now see a shell of what it once was. The shoppe's, hardware, candy, deli are now either demolished or about to be demolished with caution tape strung everywhere. Now you notice that this town is just a wasteland now. Nothing to do, nowhere to go.


Drakish grey cloud's now start to cover the sky and drip's of rain are starting to fall. It's noticed that the river water is very clean and clear, looking almost like spring water. We now see the riverside and Yukio Blaze is kneeled down taking a drink of water. Yukio get's up and start's to look around.


Yukio: It amazes me how f*cked up this town is, yet you come down here by the river and it's peacefull. Hear the water flow, cricket's crick and look at the very fertile tree's. I heard what happened to this town and at first I thought it was a good thing and then I come here and it was appearantly a bad choice on my thought's. This place has become a damnnation alley with no hope in sight.


Yukio: That's what I am. A damnnation alley with no hope in sight because everything I try to go or accomplish alway's flushes down the toilet.........


Yukio walk's over to a huge broken tree limb and plop's a seat on it. He take's a pocket knife from his pocket and start's to widdle away on a small stick.


Yukio: Now as I was saying. I've tried to with all my will and might to get championship gold for the year and a half I've been here. Just when I reach the end of the tunnel, it pull's me back in. National title, Young Gunn's title were in my sight's and I missed the shot's. Then you go looking at my feud's with people, Reverend Shadow and the Holocaust. They kept on whipping my ass time after time and I won the feud by beating Shadow in a Cage. Now look at Justin Tyme, he has five win's over me and not one of them a clean one. Now to the recent feud with the owner's, Drakz and Kyzer, They've lit firecracker's, unleashed bee's and filled my lockeroom full of piss and sh*t. How can I get them back for something like that. This past Odium, Drakz spit vodka in my eye's and I got like three move's on him before he pinned me. He even cracked me in the head with a chair. I know right now as I speak, the both of them are laughing at me. Pisses me off.


Yukio suddenly stop's widdling and get's off of the tree limb. He walk's over water and look's both way's.


Yukio: I look to my right and my left. Up stream and down stream and I'm stuck right in the middle of it. Like how Kyzer decide's to throw me in match with Morgan and Meg. These two have a family feud to settle and I get put in the middle of it. Not only that, it's for the Ass Hat championship and Kyzer is just having a ball with it. Taunt with with something I have yet to hold and to get my ass kicked my a brother and sister. I know my odd's are just about slim to none because right when it look's I'll win, something or someone will screw me dearly.


Yukio's face shift's to almost like a trance state and look's straight into the water


Yukio: Morgan, you entered the WFWF to help you sister get out of jail and to help her suck her way to championship gold. I know damn good and well before Meg sucked Kyzer to get the belt, you got to him first and well your a cocksucker. You fight like a little girl and you even havent got a win yet in the WFWF. You dont even deserve to get a title shot, but you need to whip your sister's ass to calm her ass down. Your the emo-phile douchebag that could only cleanse a horse. Oh I'm ready for you, common bring it.


Yukio: Meg, Meg, Meg. How much of a whore you have become. You dont even have any friend's anymore and Tom from myspace wouldnt even be your friend. You suck this and that and it sicken's me because you didnt have to "wrestle" for it. There's people like me that crave the gold and connot get it because the power's that be. You've cum along way since getting your ass kicked my Cherri Bomb whopping your ass or Jade doing the same thing. It's time for me to whip your ass like a pedo on a eight year old he she.


Yukio's has snapped out from the trance like state. Rain start's falling harder and harder. He's getting soaked, but he has something else to say...


Yukio: The differance between me and the Warner's is I've fought all my life to get to where I'm at today. I dont need no diary, or computer to speak for myself. This past Odium they got their asses handed to them by the KAV's, Manny and Burton. Manny and Burton, I both fought and won against in a handicap match. That's show's heart that you can win even though your out numbered. That's why at Superbrawl, I have the courage, heart, will, determination to walk in empty and walk out with some gold. I wont let the KAV's, Kyzer, Drakz, Meg, Morgan or any other ass clown stop me. I've worked to damn hard for this moment's and it wont slip this time. If it's mean's beating the Sh*t out of a women or breaking the neck or her brother. So be it. I'm ready, Meg and Morgan are you ready to have the Unknown Factor in this match make a Blazing Trail's right to the finish line. Superbrawl will be my night. Fu*k the establishment because I, myself is about to make one.


Yukio look's once again to the right and left. Yukio it's thinking which way to go and he decide's to..........jump in the river


In this river all shall fade to black
In this river aint no coming back
In this river all shall fade to black
Aint no coming back[/i]

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[Yukio Blaze]

Here is my 2nd ar as promised. May not be as good as my first one, but a alright follow up.

[sonstuds]

Two things.

Yukio: That's what I am. A damnnation alley with no hope in sight because everything I try to go or accomplish alway's flushes down the toilet.........


Yukio walk's over to a huge broken tree limb and plop's a seat on it. He take's a pocket knife from his pocket and start's to widdle away on a small stick.


Yukio: Now as I was saying...

The one thing I'll tell you is don't do that. It just kills the overall flow of the roleplay. I mean the whole "as I was saying" thing. There's no need for it. Imagine you're watching Silence of the Lambs and Hannibal is talking to Clarice. It would absolutely kill it if he was all like

"I ate his liver with fava beans and a nice chianti. [weird Hannibal noise] So, as a I was saying about Buffalo Bill..."

Secondly, just by using spell check while typing this reply I noticed just in the part I quoted you had a lot of typos (though, keep in mind it was just stuff like "walk's", "plop's", etc.). I'd really recommend getting rid of as many of those as possible for your next roleplay. I doubt I really need to explain reasons why.

Other then that, it was pretty good and enjoyable.

Now, I haven't read your other roleplay, so I really have no clue what it's about. If it's the same basic principle, then I'd tell you not to do two roleplays explaining the same thing and having the same point. You don't wanna pound it into the reader's heads with continuous roleplays, you know?

[Revvie®]

Uhh this rp was very unneeded, it really wasnt all that great at all. Speech was ok and description was ok. Honestly it just seems like you put this rp up to try to put you over the top with a second rp and frankly this was not the way to do it. I think you said everything you needed to say in the first one and did really well with it.

I really saw no need for this rp so I will say that it was an ok rp but you prolly could have just stayed with the first one and been just as well.

Rev.

[B-Radimus Prime]

I like the quote at the beginning. Wish I could live by that.

I just realized that the Yukio, Meg, and Morgan characters are all part of the anti Drakz/Kyzer faction and yet the three of us are going up against eachother. Someone's trying to get their enemies to turn against eachother! :-O

The RP was decent overall, not as good as the first, but still decent. I'm looking forward to seeing how the Triple Threat turns out between you, Meg, and I. Good Luck!

[Kyzer]

The quote at the beginning is the best part of the rp. You started off decent and it just went downhill. You did the name callling. I will say again if you want to be a face dont' call someone, especially another face a cocksucker. You are killing me with your performance for the ppv. It seems like you just weren't with it or something. Step it up, I have been trying to give you a chance. I want a return on my investment in you. Give me something great.

[Deleted]

i dont know which rp i like better, but i guess i like this better, because you talked about what the owners have done to you... good luck yukio