Post by sonstuds on Dec 21, 2007 22:23:27 GMT -5
12/28/07 Loaded – The Championship Chase (Part II)
{EBR sits collectively on his bed partially inebriated. He’s rather tired; masturbation will do that to you, with it being a natural sedative and what not. He temporarily closes his eyes when his window mysteriously opens. Yeah boys, like hardcore penetration this is getting deep and fast. And very to the point because the writer may or may not be incredibly lazy. Hrm. He casually turns his head as he watches a bright light emasculate through the opened space, squinting his eyes as he’s momentarily blinded by white rays. Through several seconds they begin to die down, forcing him to rub his eyes in an attempt to restore his vision. As it comes to he sees a figure standing in the distant. EBR shivers. After all, his window is open.}[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] . . . Hi.
{The figure has an immediate charm and intrigue about him. The fact he’s transparent probably helps. He remains standing by the window, emitting a favorable and subtle glow. EBR bites the bullet and makes the first move.}[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] You a ghost?
Ghost:[/color] Yep.
EBR:[/COLOR] Alright.
{Now it’s out there.}[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] ‘Sup?
Ghost:[/color] Is that all you can say? Most people are usually scared or at least startled.
{EBR rattles his half empty Heineken can.}[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] So whatcha up to?
Ghost:[/color] I’ve been sent down to teach you a lesson about life. Sort of like Jehovah’s Witnesses.
EBR:[/COLOR] Do I have the option of saying “no”?
Ghost:[/color] Hah, no. You’re supposed to be angry and upset that I’d force you to do this and afterwards be blessed and grateful for the experience.
EBR:[/COLOR] So how’s this gonna work? I’ll be visited by three other ghosts that’ll take me to the past, present, and future to point out the errors of my ways even though I probably don’t have any errors, at least not enough to warrant a spiritual awakening or whatever we’re calling this?
Ghost:[/color] You’ve seen too many movies. You think you’re gonna be wasting four different people’s time? It’s just me.
EBR:[/COLOR] That’s awfully disappointing.
Ghost:[/color] Hey, it’s nice to meet you too. Did you come from heaven all the way to Detroit to meet an unappreciative punk?
EBR:[/COLOR] . . . Sorry.
Ghost:[/color] Now come on, we’re visiting your past.
EBR:[/COLOR] So I was right? Past, present, future?
Ghost:[/color] How am I supposed to visit your future? It hasn’t happened yet.
EBR:[/COLOR] Use your ghost powers.
Ghost:[/color] {Mocking}[/color] “Duh, use your ghost powers”. We’re only going to your past so we can see where it all went wrong.
EBR:[/COLOR] What?
Ghost:[/color] Or right, I dunno. I’m contractually obligated to do so. Believe me; I don’t like it anymore than you. Pretend it’s our way of seeing where you’ve come from.
EBR:[/COLOR] This seems like an incredible waste of time.
EBR:[/COLOR] And I need to prepare for my upcoming match with Obo and Pierce Deville. We’re facing Thunder, Kurt Burton, and Wayne McGurk.
Ghost:[/color] Don’t sweat it. You’ll have plenty of time to prepare for this match with Obo and Pierce Deville against Thunder, Kurt Burton, and Wayne McGurk.
EBR:[/COLOR] Okay.
{That should please them.}[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] So how we doing this? You have a plane? Broom?
Ghost:[/color] Yeah, I’m gonna fly my broom to several years in the past. Where do you come up with this crap?
EBR:[/COLOR] How else are you gonna do it?
{The ghost snaps his finger, changing the setting completely.}[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] . . . Fair enough.
{They spot a small child sitting alone in a cafeteria.}[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] . . . That’s not me. I’m pretty sure that kid’s Asian.
Ghost:[/color] Yeah, you had a pretty normal childhood. Again, contractually obligated. But here’s you with sideburns.
{Again he snaps his finger and they’re now in EBR’s apartment circa 2003. He does in fact have side burns.}[/color]
Ghost:[/color] Ahahahaha . . .
EBR:[/COLOR] The hell? This is what you dragged me out of my house for?
Ghost:[/color] Sorry – but seriously, side burns? Anyways . . .
{With a snap of his finger they’re now located inside of a set. The EBR Emporium, to be exact. Sitting at the desk is EBR from the past, so for convenient purposes he’ll be written as EBR (Past). I suppose that works.}[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] It seems we took quite a big leap from my child hood you never actually showed to my time as an adolescent with a talk show.
Ghost:[/color] Time, buddy. Can’t show everything in your life. – Say, you haven’t tried to talk to yourself from the past yet. Most people try.
EBR:[/COLOR] Why would I? If it’s a version of myself from the past there’d be no logical way he’d be able to hear me.
Ghost:[/color] It’s okay, go ahead.
EBR:[/COLOR] But he won’t be able to hear me.
Ghost:[/color] That’s fine. Go talk to him.
EBR:[/COLOR] I don’t really want to . . .
Ghost:[/color] Buddy, it’s not really an option. Go talk to yourself.
EBR:[/COLOR] . . . {Rolling his eyes}[/color] Hey, how’s it going?
Ghost:[/color] He can’t hear you.
EBR:[/COLOR] Come on!
Ghost:[/color] Sorry, I still find it funny when people try to talk to themselves.
{For the first time EBR (Past) begins to speak. You know, on second glance there’s really no logical way to write that so that it doesn’t come off looking stupid with the type of formatting I use. But meh, I sort of gave up a long time ago anyways.}[/color]
EBR (Past):[/color] Tonight, you all witness the extravaganza which is the last ever EBR Emporium . . . and last ever EBR appearance. I’ve been in the WFWF for one year now, and I’ve done it all. I’ve done more than some people who’ve been here for years. I am the fastest rising superstar, who didn’t need a tournament to help elevate myself. I’m the best ever X-Rated Champion. I’m the former WFDC owner, WFWF hall of famer, and the very first ever WFWF Undisputed Champion . . .
{EBR (Past) pulls out two belts from underneath the desk. Too the left of him is the WFWF MP Heavyweight Championship, and to the right of him is the WFWF RP Heavyweight Championship.}[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] Can we go?
Ghost:[/color] No! You’re gonna stand here until it ends.
EBR:[/COLOR] {Talking over his past self}[/color] I just don’t see what this has to do with anything. It was almost five years ago.
Ghost:[/color] And did you ever stop to think that maybe this all has a point in the long scheme of things? Ah . . . EBR, so naïve and stupid -
EBR:[/COLOR] Hey!
Ghost:[/color] This is your kidney stone – metaphorical, of course – just relax and let it pass.
EBR (Past):[/color] So basically, this is my farewell . . . to the WFWF, and the world. You won’t see me again.
Ghost:[/color] Hah, you’re a liar.
EBR (Past):[/color] So as of right now . . . consider the EBR Emporium . . . cancelled . . .
Ghost:[/color] That was pretty melodramatic and lame.
EBR:[/COLOR] Hey man, I asked to leave. So what we doing now?
Ghost:[/color] Your present.
EBR:[/COLOR] I said that at the beginning and you told me –
Ghost:[/color] I said I can’t show your future.
{Snapping his finger they’re now located in a Starbucks.}[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] Uh . . . this happened last week. Wouldn’t this be the past?
Ghost:[/color] What do you want me to do?
EBR:[/COLOR] Show me the present like you told me you would?
{After a glare and a snap EBR and the Ghost are now watching EBR and the Ghost in a Starbucks.}[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] . . . Fair enough.
{Both EBR’s speak at the same time, as the Ghosts do the same.}[/color]
Ghost:[/color] I don’t make the rules. I really don’t have the patience to have you take my head off and point out any possible flaws. Look, I’m just doing my job. Take it up with God if you have a problem.
EBR:[/COLOR] My bad.
Ghost:[/color] You’re talking to the wrong one.
{EBR turns around.}[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] My bad. But all I’m saying is this just happened and is completely fresh in my mind. Can’t we do something else?
Ghost:[/color] {Sigh}[/color] Fine. You know I don’t have to do this?
{One snap later and they’re now in a restaurant, watching Calvin Lee and some girl he’s trying to mack.}[/color]
Brittany:[/color] I’ve missed you! It’s so lonely when you are on the road. I wish you could stay longer.
Calvin Lee:[/color] Me too. But it’s what I do. Don’t worry, I’ll be back soon. I missed you too. Even while getting all ready in the back, I thought of you.
Brittany:[/color] Aww, you’re sweet.
Calvin Lee:[/color] And you’re pretty face.
{Brittany starts to smile.}[/color]
Calvin Lee:[/color] And you’re amazing eyes.
{The smile grows more. (By the way, any possible typos or grammatical errors involving “you’re” in the above are not my fault, okay?)}[/color]
Calvin Lee:[/color] And your beautiful smile.
EBR:[/COLOR] . . . My God. I knew he was a pussy. But uh . . . isn’t this supposed to be about me?
Ghost:[/color] Jesus Christ, there’s just no pleasing you. You bitch when I show you and moan when I show someone else. You’re impossible.
EBR:[/COLOR] If we have to do this can’t you just take me to girl who’s currently in the shower? Then we can cross this off our “to do” list.
Ghost:[/color] Nah . . . I’ve looked into that and it’s a form of sexual harassment. Bit of a grey area.
Calvin Lee:[/color] Were you day dreaming there?
Brittany:[/color] Hah, a little. I’m sorry.
Calvin Lee:[/color] Oh that’s more then okay. It’ll be a few minutes until we eat.
EBR:[/COLOR] I want to get out.
Ghost:[/color] As soon as we met your free will was taken away. Sort of like rape.
EBR:[/COLOR] Man, isn’t this supposed to be about Christmas?
Ghost:[/color] What’d give you that idea?
EBR:[/COLOR] Aren’t all these spiritual trips about Christmas in a roundabout way? I figured the only reason you took me was because I didn’t put my Christmas lights up.
Ghost:[/color] Foolish. It’s about something far bigger than Christmas. I mean, why on earth would I simply take you because you didn’t buy into Christmas? That’s incredibly insensitive. If that’s the case I’d just be taking a bunch of Hindus. But then I’d be classified as intolerant and would be seeing a law suit.
EBR:[/COLOR] Fair enough. But if we already visited the past and I’m assuming, and hoping, the present is done where exactly do we go?
Ghost:[/color] What’s that? You wish you were never born!?
EBR:[/COLOR] Huh?
Ghost:[/color] Well, if you wish you were never born then I’ll kindly show you what life would have been without you.
EBR:[/COLOR] Are you kidding me? You just changed your entire mission with one sentence for no reason making everything up to this point useless. You completely wasted my time showing me a bunch of badly done and thus far incoherent flashbacks with no connection whatsoever. What kind of inconsiderate person would do something like that? Clearly someone who has put no effort whatsoever in whatever they’re doing.
{EBR looks at us, the casual reader.}[/color]
Ghost:[/color] Yes, but you will come with me anyways because I have the ability and power to do whatever I want. For example.
{Calvin Lee is suddenly mauled by six black bears.}[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] So, is it fair if I classify this as basically a kidnapping?
{The setting changes drastically, this time without a snap of the fingers. Probably because creating a world that EBR never existed in requires more effort then just a simple movement of fingers. They find themselves backstage of a WFWF show.}[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] Why is it just about everything you’ve shown me has revolved around my job? Wouldn’t it be more logical to show me what my friends are up to? How my family’s doing?
Ghost:[/color] It’s not that easy, EBR.
EBR:[/COLOR] So you can take me back into the past and then create a life that I never existed in but you can’t show me what the people I actually care about are doing? That’s awfully redundant and pretty big gap in logic.
Ghost:[/color] You never stop complaining, do you?
EBR:[/COLOR] Whatever. So I take it all I have to do is try and point out how my life has affected several others?
Ghost:[/color] I’m not supposed to ever tell you what the point of all of this is. You’re supposed to just kind of stumble upon that yourself. It usually only takes people twenty minutes though, so yeah, try and be quick so you don’t look bad by comparison.
{They walk around the back, spotting the same workers and people EBR normally sees during WFWF events, all in the same locations they’re usually in. He sees Calvin Lee walking past them, talking on his cell phone.}[/color]
Calvin Lee:[/color] I miss you too. You’re so pretty. Aww . . .
EBR:[/COLOR] Wow, Calvin’s still a woman.
{He turns to EBR.}[/color]
Calvin Lee:[/color] Excuse me?
Ghost:[/color] Oh yeah, now they can hear you.
EBR:[/COLOR] Say, Calvin –
Calvin Lee:[/color] How do you know my name!?
EBR:[/COLOR] You’re on TV every week . . .
Calvin Lee:[/color] Well played . . . well played . . .
EBR:[/COLOR] What have you been up to lately?
Calvin Lee:[/color] If you’ve been watching you’d know that I just attacked my good friend Luther Castle.
EBR:[/COLOR] Ah . . . and what was your greatest career moment?
Calvin Lee:[/color] I had fun chilling with Alex Sean during the Anointed.
EBR:[/COLOR] Was anyone else in it?
Calvin Lee:[/color]: Alex’s wife.
EBR:[/COLOR] Alright.
{They all stand around awkwardly.}[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] You can leave now.
Calvin Lee:[/color] You’re a real asshole . . . whoever you are.
{Calvin walks away as EBR and the Ghost continue down the hallway.}[/color]
Ghost:[/color] That must be pretty cold to know that at least one person’s life was never affected by your own.
EBR:[/COLOR] Yeah, but it’s Calvin so he didn’t achieve any success or anything. It’s not like he’s better off without me. Just the same.
Ghost:[/color] Maybe so, but I’ve been doing this for fifteen years and you’re the first person who’s existence hasn’t affected someone else’s. Usually the first person they see ends up being a drug addict or gay.
{They see Obo and Samantha.}[/color]
Obo:[/color] What did I tell you about leaving the dressing room?
Samantha:[/color] Sorry, daddy.
EBR:[/COLOR] Why has this entire night been filled with bad dialogue?
Obo:[/color] What the fuck did you just say?
EBR:[/COLOR] Right . . . they can hear me.
Obo:[/color] Hey, are you standing next to a ghost?
Ghost:[/color] The kind thing would be to not draw attention to it.
EBR:[/COLOR] So are you still Heavyweight champion or did you just never win it or something?
Obo:[/color] I lost it to Thunder at Scars & Stripes. But then me and Pierce Deville killed him and stuff. Doesn’t matter, I didn’t want the belt anyways. I’m not a belt mark like that pig fucker CBT.
EBR:[/COLOR] Your daughter is right there . . .
Obo:[/color] What the fuck is that supposed to mean?
Samantha:[/color] Fuck yeah!
Ghost:[/color] You’re a terrible father.
Obo:[/color] You want to go right now?
Ghost:[/color] {Pointing to E}[/color] He said it.
EBR:[/COLOR] Dude, he saw you say it.
{Obo steps forward.}[/color]
Ghost:[/color] Book it!
{The ghost jets down the hall way. EBR watches out of the corner of his eye.}[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] Uh . . . yeah . . . I uh . . .
{He quickly walks away in the same direction as the ghost. He turns the hallway and walks into the only black man who works for the WFWF.}[/color]
King Kraig:[/color] Watch it.
EBR:[/COLOR] Oh, nice. Back in my world you already retired.
King Kraig:[/color] Your world? There is no “your” world. I’ve traveled to outer space. I know the true meanings of life. “Your” world. That’s laughable.
EBR:[/COLOR] . . . Did you retire or not?
King Kraig:[/color] Yes, I’m just collecting my last pay check. I’m actually just waiting for Yukio Blaze to walk into the locker room and give it to me so I really can’t talk. Good bye middle aged white man.
EBR:[/COLOR] . . . I’m twenty eight.
{EBR shakes his head and continues down the hall way before the ghost jumps out from the corner.}[/color]
Ghost:[/color] Sorry, wash room.
{The ghost holds up his hands which drip water.}[/color]
Ghost:[/color] Did you find any one that has led you to believe your existence has actually mattered?
EBR:[/COLOR] Well . . . no.
Ghost:[/color] Hah! But say, I found this in some guy’s pocket.
{Scuffing through his own the ghost pulls out a crumpled piece of paper and hands it to EBR, who unfolds it to reveal the current Superbrawl card.}[/color]
Ghost:[/color] I’m kind of wondering why someone would even have that in the first place.
EBR:[/COLOR] Some people have really weird ways of finding out their matches. A lot of these guys really aren’t reliable enough to be told things in advance unless it’s written on paper. It’s the same reason they get their matches phoned to them days in advance.
Ghost:[/color] And this will be the perfect way to find out what the WFWF would be if you had never existed.
EBR:[/COLOR] {Chuckling}[/color] I wonder what type of main event they’re going to pull off if I’m not aro . . . Thunder vs. Johnny Valentine.
{Pause.}[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] Right; the Battle Royal. Well I’m sure several other matches are dif . . . {Skimming}[/color] they’re all the same! What the hell?
{The ghost begins to laugh as EBR looks up.}[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] You knew this all along didn’t you?
Ghost:[/color] Pretty much.
EBR:[/COLOR] I thought you were trying to help me?
Ghost:[/color] No, I'm here to make you feel bad about yourself. I'm just not supposed to say it like that. Whether you change your life or commit suicide after is really none of my concern.
EBR:[/COLOR] This is certainly a self-esteem killer.
Ghost:[/color] Yeah, I’ll thank God personally I’m not you.
{Glare.}[/color]
Ghost:[/color] Hey, you were the one who asked what the world would be like if you had never been born.
EBR:[/COLOR] Well for starters I didn’t ask that.
Ghost:[/color] Duly noted.
EBR:[/COLOR] Secondly, I have learned that accomplishments through work are useless and more of an emphasis should be focused on your family and friends. You know, the things you really care about. Life is about them, not some promotion at work.
{He folds his arms in triumph as nothing happens.}[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] That was the point right?
Ghost:[/color] No, that was “Click”.
EBR:[/COLOR] Damn. This is the worst Christmas ever – was that the point?
{He looks up as again nothing happens.}[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] Guess not. This is sort of a buzz killer. Here I was thinking it was gonna be such a big deal to win the Heavyweight Championship but how do I really know it’s gonna matter? I mean, it didn’t matter when I won the Undisputed Championship because it was retired a month later, and apparently nothing I’ve done in the WFWF has mattered considering it would be the same without me as it is with me. I guess wrestlers really are expendable and worthless, and maybe I should focus on winning the Heavyweight Championship for myself. People will forget whatever I do and in the end it’ll be like I never even existed, but at least I’ll remember. I guess I’ve been putting so much of an emphasis on trying to please other people through winning the title that I’ve never thought about trying to please myself. If I’m just there to win the belt for other reasons than you know, I might as well not exist and I might as well have never had a career. I need to win it for me, because above all else, I do want it. I guess I lost sight of that.
{As if on cue the entire room slowly fizzles and fades out.}[/color]
EBR:[/COLOR] There we go; I knew I’d get it eventually.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
{He wakes up. A slight headache and not too with it he slowly peels his upper body off his mattress and looks at his clock. 9:22 AM. That’s far too early to get up.
Bah, but he has to take a piss. Rather than lie uncomfortably for ten minutes and end up getting up anyways he rolls himself out of his bed and walks down to the bath room.
That was a good dream. Of course, not as good as that time he dreamt he won the NBA Championship as a point guard who only got on the court once in the entire game but still made a steal, but it’s a close second.}[/color]
Nice one, I see no flaws, sarcasm is always loved. 
Of course 
It won't happen again.
is Ise?
