Post by brklynbraller on Nov 30, 2007 20:51:07 GMT -5
1953, a dark year for the Polish nation. Poland was just declared the sausage capitol of the world. In celebration of this good news Poland decided to hold a festival.
This festival is now called sausage fest. It was a great festival. There were lights, dancing, and all the sausage you could eat. At the end of the festival the president of Poland decided to introduce the newest of meats. It was polish bacon. It was the greatest thing since sliced sausage. The taste was like a nuclear explosion of flavor in your mouth. Unfortunately there were spies amongst the festival. The spies immediately took it back to their country. A day later they introduce the fabulous meat as Canadian bacon. The whole country of Poland was in an uproar over the theft of our bacon. We tried to tell the other countries that it was our bacon, but no one listened. We demanded that Canada tell the truth but they blew us off like lint on a jacket. This caused Poland to take harsh actions and we declared war on Canada.
Poland gathered the greatest soldiers they could find. One of the soldiers was my uncle, General D’artagnan Turdler. He was the wisest and bravest within the Turdler family tree. With 100,000 soldiers under his command he set out in a fleet of submarines.
Due to the structure of the submarines, all of the soldiers died including my uncle D’artagnan. It was later found out that the screen doors on the submarines were not air tight. The President of Poland was furious and ordered the smartest scientist in Poland to make sure the whole structure was airtight. The next fleet of submarines where sent out with another 100,000 men. They successfully made it to Canada but they had one problem. The subs were so air tight they couldn’t get the doors open. It turns out the scientists welded on the doors when all the soldiers were in the subs. There was no way for the soldiers to get out. On the way back to Poland they ran out of fuel and eventually starved to death on the submarines. Canada laughed at us and mocked us by putting our new meat on disgusting American pizza. Upon hearing this news of the soldiers and the disgrace that has fallen upon this prized meat, our weak President decided we can’t afford any more casualties to men or meat. So he surrendered the war without even fighting one battle.
Thanks to Canada I have lost my uncle, 200,000 of my country men, and the greatest meat ever. (Polish bacon was outlawed right after the war.) I will not let any Canadian take any more from me or my country. So I will be the mongoose to your Method Cobra. I will embarrass you and your country just like your country has done to mine. I will make sure I seek revenge for my country, my uncle, and the 200,000 soldiers that died in the war. I will bring pride back to Poland……..and eliminate you.
[glow=red,2,300]FOR POLAND[/glow]
This festival is now called sausage fest. It was a great festival. There were lights, dancing, and all the sausage you could eat. At the end of the festival the president of Poland decided to introduce the newest of meats. It was polish bacon. It was the greatest thing since sliced sausage. The taste was like a nuclear explosion of flavor in your mouth. Unfortunately there were spies amongst the festival. The spies immediately took it back to their country. A day later they introduce the fabulous meat as Canadian bacon. The whole country of Poland was in an uproar over the theft of our bacon. We tried to tell the other countries that it was our bacon, but no one listened. We demanded that Canada tell the truth but they blew us off like lint on a jacket. This caused Poland to take harsh actions and we declared war on Canada.
Poland gathered the greatest soldiers they could find. One of the soldiers was my uncle, General D’artagnan Turdler. He was the wisest and bravest within the Turdler family tree. With 100,000 soldiers under his command he set out in a fleet of submarines.
Due to the structure of the submarines, all of the soldiers died including my uncle D’artagnan. It was later found out that the screen doors on the submarines were not air tight. The President of Poland was furious and ordered the smartest scientist in Poland to make sure the whole structure was airtight. The next fleet of submarines where sent out with another 100,000 men. They successfully made it to Canada but they had one problem. The subs were so air tight they couldn’t get the doors open. It turns out the scientists welded on the doors when all the soldiers were in the subs. There was no way for the soldiers to get out. On the way back to Poland they ran out of fuel and eventually starved to death on the submarines. Canada laughed at us and mocked us by putting our new meat on disgusting American pizza. Upon hearing this news of the soldiers and the disgrace that has fallen upon this prized meat, our weak President decided we can’t afford any more casualties to men or meat. So he surrendered the war without even fighting one battle.
Thanks to Canada I have lost my uncle, 200,000 of my country men, and the greatest meat ever. (Polish bacon was outlawed right after the war.) I will not let any Canadian take any more from me or my country. So I will be the mongoose to your Method Cobra. I will embarrass you and your country just like your country has done to mine. I will make sure I seek revenge for my country, my uncle, and the 200,000 soldiers that died in the war. I will bring pride back to Poland……..and eliminate you.
[glow=red,2,300]FOR POLAND[/glow]
