Post by DGX on Nov 13, 2007 17:24:34 GMT -5
Becoming.
Every culture, every species, animal or otherwise almost all of them have their rituals where members of that pack, tribe, species ascend to the level of being a “man” or the “alpha” or whatever name there is for it. It’s varied and often an imperfect process. In lion prides the young upstart lion must steel himself, find his balls and challenge the old lion, the leader of the pride to combat where only one can walk away. It’s a very final process, and it’s the ultimate gambit. You’re either the leader of the pack, or you’re the pack’s dinner. Native tribes of North America had their own ways of coming into manhood, going out into the wilderness with the bare essentials and trying to survive a set period of time, return a man…or don’t return at all.
Sometimes it’s about status. Other times, it’s just a ritualistic way of being told to grow up, it is a time that signals the end of the status quo and the inevitable change that is to follow. Every living organism strives for homeostasis, where things stay exactly the same and nothing changes, but truthfully no life ever really attains it. The most we can ever hope to achieve is dynamic equilibrium where we adapt to the changes thrown our way by life and we try to continue on living the way we want to. Sometimes we go towards this change willingly, the normal urge to better ourselves coming into play and other times circumstance just vomits the situations that require us to change in our lap and then blankly looks at us as if to say “deal with it.”
But the natural human want is to stay the same. After all, do you think pre industrial revolution people wanted to move to a period where we would work harder than we ever had? The concept of rest and taking it easy looked upon as a sign of weakness, the minute you spend getting your wind the rest of the world passes you by? If you went back in time and told people of that era that was where we were headed, they would have looked at you like you were absolutely insane. It does sound pretty insane, but look around the evidence is everywhere the ever expanding cities, the economic booms, the mass influx of people from all over the world flocking to where the money is the places that are “fortunate” enough to have this happening struggling to build and expand to accommodate all the new arrivals. What was once a fairly normal city or place starts to feel like it’s come to life, like a monstrous beast hungry for your time, effort, and money. It’s like it’s become a huge serpent, an ravenous anaconda that has you snared in it’s vice grip is it coils around you…crushing the spirit out of your body until you wander the streets aimlessly when you finally get that rare day off work, wondering what it’s all for. That was a change no one wanted, but that’s what happened and poverty, homelessness and crime increase all followed. But such is life, and even as you feel this hopelessness and wonder what it’s all for, circumstance still gives you that indifferent blank look.
The fact is change happens whether you want it to or not. But some places, some people fight that change. They are idealists sure, but one wonders how they get the spirit to stand up when in reality they have a snowballs chance in hell of making an actual difference. You have your principals and you have your integrity, but at the end of the day even if you go down swinging to change…you still go down. But those who take change in stride while refusing to let the change of the world affect who they are, their values, their core beliefs those are people who DO make a difference. Some may dress in monkey suits and carry briefcases and walk down the streets with goofy looking headpieces attached to their heads answering their phone with “go” but some never sell out completely. You may wear the costume, you may have all the props, but at the end of the day it’s your actions that define you. If your parents did any kind of job raising you, if your boss tells you to do something that will have a side effect you know will be harmful to someone’s life, and you just nod and say “yes sir” then you truly have sold out. And by betraying your values, your upbringing, who you are…you have condemned yourself to the ninth circle of hell if you believe Dante’s Divine Comedy. And honestly, I hope Dante is right because there frozen in ice with your eyes and mouth frozen shut, with big monster three headed Satan chewing on Brutus, Cassius and Judas crying like a little bitch, flapping his giant bat wings freezing your ass even more…remember your betrayals. You earned being there, and you deserve every bit of it.
With how things are going in the world today, especially up by where I reside, treachery is commonplace. It’s an everyday thing, and honestly no other crime sickens me more personally. So if you take nothing else from this rant, take this…no matter what happens to you, no matter what change you have to face down, no matter the trials you are forced to face...never sell out. Never do something that is against your own personal code, because of all the things you could do, of all the things you could betray nothing is worth betraying yourself for. Stand true to what you believe, and no matter your crimes at the end of the ride…you’ll never end up at the deepest circle of hell. At least if you believe Dante.
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It was time. All those weeks leading up to it, all the people he had brutalized to get here and now it was finally moments away. Finally the world would know once and for all that Johnny Valentine is no joke they would look at him and maybe even nod in respect. Not that he cared if they did anything of the sort or not. But one thing he damn sure knew they would stop doing is looking at him like he was some cutesy joke that random people in WFWF had dreamed up to attract old 1950s themed moviegoers and Happy Days fans. Say what they want about Johnny Valentine, say what they want about John Travolta, Greased Lightening, Olivia Newton John, Sylvester Stallone, Henry Winkler, “EEEEEEHHHHHH” and all the other pathetic euphemisms. Laugh about how Flatbush is a condominium, laugh about how it’s now suburb of Brooklyn, New York. Yuck it up freams, enjoy a big tickle about dice, roller skates, and drag racing as well as the ever popular cracks about the drive in.
See how funny you think it is when Johnny Valentine stands victorious at the end of his battle with Yukio Blaze, holding up both his titles! Yeah that’s right freams, both his titles. A little over a month in the company and already a double champion, undefeated, and that would be how it stayed. Because while Johnny Valentine wasn’t going to talk about how all these people in WFWF were “has beens”, “wash ups” or what have you, he honestly believed at the end of the day he could beat any of them. Didn’t matter if you were Obo, EBR, Michael Kyzer, Trace Demon, Jake Slash, CBT, Thunder, Calvin Lee, Reverend Shadow, anyone. And unlike High Horror this wasn’t ego, this wasn’t Johnny Valentine thinking that he was better than he was. It wasn’t his first dance, he’d been places, held titles, and shown that he had the talent to hang with almost anyone.
Sure a lot of those aforementioned people probably thought he was a joke, a novelty to be taken lightly. A joke off the set of some musical or a guy who could silence a jukebox with a snap of his fingers or a “technical tap”, and while sure he did command respect from most, and knew a lot about mechanics didn’t mean that he was the freaking Fonz. He knew that a lot of them thought that way, and well…look where it had gotten a couple of them? Obo and CBT along the way had fallen to him. Is that to say he owned them, is that to say he was better? No, but now and forever the record books will tell of him beating them at least once in their careers. A humbling reminder that “Fonzie with the fuzzy dice and roller skates” put your shoulders to the mat for a three count.
But that was the past, the Road to Glory that had been paved over the bodies of guys like Dead Idol, High Horror, David Williams, and Vinson Evorett. But those guys, like CBT and even Obo had just been the appetizers. Now standing at the cusp of his glory, the door opening in front of him…one man stood between Johnny Valentine and validation. Between him being a joke, and between him being recognized as a serious threat. This whole stinking fed would sit up and take notice of Johnny Valentine when he stood atop her rankings as a double champion. But it wouldn’t be an easy task, he knew that that. The International champ, Yukio Blaze was nothing and no one to sneeze at. Nevermind all the jives and jabs thrown his way about him being a fluke, a charity case, a “thunderstruck” miracle well Johnny Valentine called BS on that. You don’t hold the tag team titles without a partner and actually successfully defend them without having some kind of talent. But while Yukio Blaze was a fierce competitor who deserved respect and Valentine did respect him, that didn’t change Valentine’s view of him.
Yukio Blaze held something Valentine wanted, nay needed for himself. The International championship was his validation, beating Yukio Blaze was one thing, that alone carried a hefty amount of prestige. But as he’s learned in the last month or so, it didn’t matter who you beat, it mattered what you got out of it. The WFWF International championship was a belt, a concoction of leather and metal that actually meant something around here. Valentine had pinned Obo’s shoulders to the mat for three and he was the WFWF World Champion, and all he got out of it was the Hardcore X championship and really what had that gotten him? Nothing, just matches with David Williams and Trace Demon guys who if you asked WFWF fans who they were they’d probably respond with, “who?” and a confused look. So tonight, for all Yukio Blaze’s accomplishments, for all his prestige and his reputation…all Johnny Valentine wanted off of him was that recognizable prop around his waist. And he would have it too and you know why? Because tonight he would not stop, he would not yield tonight with Roxy in his corner holding his leather jacket and his Hardcore X title belt, she would watch him go out there and make her proud. He would weather whatever storm Yukio Blaze could send his way, and when he created the situation for himself…he would kick the man right in the face and plant his shoulders to the mat for three seconds. No one could say anything about him after that, not even his granddad.
I finally eclipse you old man.
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[Johnny Valentine sits in his dressing room, clad in his light denim jeans and a black t-shirt his back against the wall as he puts on black wrist tape, purposefully wrapping his hands as he prepares for his matches this evening. First up is Yukio Blaze for the International title and that nosebleed stands no chance against the radioactive hepcat that is Johnny Valentine. Then he will go out again at Scars and Stripes as a double champion and will throw every other nerd, fream, and nosebleed this place has regardless of name, of reputation, until only he is remains. Then it was just him and Obo and being that the record already read 1-0 for him when the good “captain” of WFWF had seen fit to slum it with the house show talent for a meaningless title that he still held…he liked those odds. Valentine smirked and nodded as he continued to wrap his hands.
Roxy stood at the corner by the leaning on the wall, smacking her chewing gum and watched him prepare. She almost seemed preoccupied tonight but that was mainly because he hadn’t really had a lot of time for her in the last week, he’d really trained hard for Yukio Blaze but mainly for the battle royal. Stealing glances up at her Johnny Valentine again marvelled at his luck having a girl as beautiful as she was. Tonight she wore a black and red poodle skirt that was actually one piece, showing off her amazing legs and she decided to wear her roller skates to the ring tonight. Her brown hair was done up in a “bad Sandy” from Grease style, he swore the hairstylists of this place did that on purpose as a shot at her for her getup and beliefs just like the fans laughed at him for being a “greaser” but she seemed to take it in stride. Besides, that hairstyle looked amazing on her, Valentine snapped out of his reverie as Roxy caught him staring and smiled warmly at him. Blowing a bubble at him around a big grin…she teased him with a joking grin.]
Roxy> See anything you like?
JV> I see a lot that I like doll, if I didn’t have this big match tonight you and I would already be on our way to the passion pit!
Roxy> We can always celebrate your victories later baby.
[Valentine smiled and went back to his tape. He was just about done when he stood up and his phone rang. While he was a child of the 50s at least he might as well have been with where he lived, the people of his fine little town didn’t shun all new technology entirely. It was just like the laws of life and change stated, strive for homeostasis, only achieve dynamic equilibrium. Looking down at his cell phone he smiled briefly at the number…no one called him unless it was home. He wondered what could possibly be happening that they would call him? Maybe that old sod granddad was calling to at long last acknowledge him and wish him luck. He thought about it a moment…nah. Probably grandma, he opened his phone and answered…]
JV> Hey mom.
[There was a brief pause before the frail and quivering voice of his grandmother called through the phone.]
Grandma> Jonathan?
JV> Mama, how are you? You watching my match tonight?
Of course she’s not. She hates this stuff you machismo overloaded bastard. Look maybe I should do the talking here?
Can it fream! I can talk to our own mother just fine on my freaking own thanks!
Grandma> Jonathan…it’s your grandfather.
Oh no…
SHUT IT FREAM!
[Valentine pauses and takes a deep breath…]
JV> What about dad mom?
You knew it would happen eventually, maybe you shouldn’t hear this now…
I SAID CUT THE GAS NERD!!!!!!!!!!!
Grandma> Jonathan, I’m so sorry. He had a heart attack this morning. The doctors tried but…he’s gone.
[Valentine barely heard her. He sat down so abruptly, Roxy pushed off the wall her smile gone as she quickly moved to Valentine’s side.]
Roxy> Baby, what’s wrong? Let me have that…
[Valentine barely felt Roxy take the phone from his hands. It was like he had been punched in the gut, the air stolen from his lungs. For better or worse that man had taught him everything he’s known. He was the most responsible for him being the man he was today, and whether or not that was cause to love him or hate him had always been a point he constantly warred with himself on.]
Roxy> Mommy? What’s…oh my God! When? How? Oh no…
[Roxy was losing it. He could see it, while she and granddad had never been what you would define as “close” her and grandma were practically mother and daughter. She felt for the pain of his grandmother, and as she wept on the phone with her Valentine barely could take stock of where he was or what was happening. The world was a slowly spinning…it was like the settings, the situations everything fell away.]
Look, you have to pull it together here. You’re normally the strong one, I can’t fight for us here. Look, I’m sorry for the loss of dad, I am, but he hated me. You were his creation…you did everything he liked and loved. You’re a constant reminder to me of why I hated that man…but at the end of the day I couldn’t get by here without you.
You hated him. You hated him because like a spoiled little girl you never understood he did what he did because he loved you, you pathetic little jackass.
So emasculating me, beating me, treating me like slime was because he cared? Yeah, I can totally see the love in every scar on our body, and all the marks I have in my soul still. I feel the love, I really do…
You don’t even get it. You’re so stupid. He would have taken a bullet for you. When his screw up daughter turned her back on him and ran off into the “real world” and got hurt, you know where she slithered back to? To him, and to mom because she got knocked up with us and did she do anything? No, she just dumped us with him and ran away you were his second chance you ignorant little fream! He was soft on mom, and that’s why she screwed up so horribly and is probably working streets in Los Angeles or wherever she ran off to to be “discovered.”
You shut up about her. She was never anything to us, why do you even bring her up? She was misguided and got sucked in by some stupid jerk her used her and dumped her. Happens all the time, it just serves as an example of how we don’t want to turn out. With Roxy I can treat her as a man should treat the woman he loves. Dad never even liked Roxy…
Your ignorance amazes me you know that? You’re so blinded by your hatred of how hard dad was on you, you’re so jilted that you didn’t get a lifetime of lollypops, ball gloves and pats on the head, along with all the hugs you could stomach that you don’t get that by doing what he did with you, he better prepared you for the world than anything else could have. When I finally started to emerge, when I finally lashed out at him…and slapped his dentures right out of his face before he put me down, that was the proudest moment he had of you and why? Because you finally stood up. You at last found your balls and stopped being a little pushover, because that’s what mom was. A pushover, and that’s why she’s a loser in nowhereville because she never learned how to stand up for herself. You say he never liked Roxy? He would have killed for her and why? Because she saw what a sensitive, vulnerable sap you were and she never crushed you. As much as she loves her little alone moments with you, as much as you like to think she sees me the side of us that’s a problem that needs fixing and you may even be right about that…she knows that without me, she wouldn’t be with you. Because I can make her feel one thing you never could…
This I have to hear. What could you possibly make her feel that I couldn’t? Accepted? Loved? Desired? Please tell me, Mr. John Travolta, Mr. 1950s…tell me, what could you and dad POSSIBLY have made her feel that I couldn’t huh?
Safe.
[And just like that it happened. The war waging in his head finally had fired a shot that the other part of him honestly had no answer for. Finally after all the time of hating dad, of secretly resenting him for making him into a great big joke to the public, it all came out in a flash of inspiration that only came by hearing that he was dead. How could he hate him? How could he have hated him all this time? All he had tried to do, in his messed up, old school way was make Johnny Valentine a person that would be safe in this world. Because with his own daughter, the mother of the boy he held in his hands…he had failed. It wasn’t that he had hated Johnny for being born, it wasn’t that he hated him at all, he just didn’t want to fail him as he had his mother. He could barely process all this as Roxy continued to bawl and cry on the phone with his grandmother. He sat perfectly still…his face expressionless and a single tear rolling down his right cheek. He barely felt it, he barely felt anything anymore.]
Roxy> Mommy, we’re so sorry! We’ll be on the next flight…what? Who cares…okay. Are you sure? I could go…you’re right mommy. He’s here.
[Roxy handed the phone to Valentine and barely able to process what was happening he put the phone to his ear and cleared his throat and took a breath.]
JV> Yeah mom?
Grandma> Jonathan, I want you to know that your dad was going to watch you tonight. He was incredibly proud of you and I have a letter to you from him that he wrote in the last couple of weeks. I’ll send it to you.
JV> Mom, Roxy and I will come to you. Honestly this isn’t that important, you need us…
Grandma> No Jonathan! Your daddy and I watched you work week in and week out for this, this is your moment! Your dad would have wanted you to go through with this, and remember that win or lose, he is with you and is very proud of you.
[More tears welled in his eyes as he took another breath trying to fight them back. This wasn’t the time, he couldn’t feel this now. Now was not the time to be weak, to fall to pieces, now was the time to do the one thing granddad had fought to instil in him how to do. It was time to stand up and be a man…the man he was raised to be.]
JV> Mom, I can send Roxy back. I’ll do my match tonight for dad and then head out…
Grandma> I’m going to tell you what I told her Jonathan, a woman’s place is at her man’s side. I’ll be here when this is over, and I’ll be watching you tonight. I know you’ll do fantastic baby and when you get here, and then we’ll grieve together. But for tonight…celebrate your grandfather, celebrate daddy by showing everyone in the world what Jonathan Valentine is about. What he was raised to be about!
JV> I promise you mommy, I promise you that by the end of tonight…everyone will know what Valentines are about!
Grandma> Good luck to you, my special little man.
[There was a click at the other end. Valentine put down the phone and sat before putting his head in his hands and crying for his loss, though he could feel her trembling and struggling with the loss herself, Roxy sat beside him quietly and gently stroked his back.]
Every culture, every species, animal or otherwise almost all of them have their rituals where members of that pack, tribe, species ascend to the level of being a “man” or the “alpha” or whatever name there is for it. It’s varied and often an imperfect process. In lion prides the young upstart lion must steel himself, find his balls and challenge the old lion, the leader of the pride to combat where only one can walk away. It’s a very final process, and it’s the ultimate gambit. You’re either the leader of the pack, or you’re the pack’s dinner. Native tribes of North America had their own ways of coming into manhood, going out into the wilderness with the bare essentials and trying to survive a set period of time, return a man…or don’t return at all.
Sometimes it’s about status. Other times, it’s just a ritualistic way of being told to grow up, it is a time that signals the end of the status quo and the inevitable change that is to follow. Every living organism strives for homeostasis, where things stay exactly the same and nothing changes, but truthfully no life ever really attains it. The most we can ever hope to achieve is dynamic equilibrium where we adapt to the changes thrown our way by life and we try to continue on living the way we want to. Sometimes we go towards this change willingly, the normal urge to better ourselves coming into play and other times circumstance just vomits the situations that require us to change in our lap and then blankly looks at us as if to say “deal with it.”
But the natural human want is to stay the same. After all, do you think pre industrial revolution people wanted to move to a period where we would work harder than we ever had? The concept of rest and taking it easy looked upon as a sign of weakness, the minute you spend getting your wind the rest of the world passes you by? If you went back in time and told people of that era that was where we were headed, they would have looked at you like you were absolutely insane. It does sound pretty insane, but look around the evidence is everywhere the ever expanding cities, the economic booms, the mass influx of people from all over the world flocking to where the money is the places that are “fortunate” enough to have this happening struggling to build and expand to accommodate all the new arrivals. What was once a fairly normal city or place starts to feel like it’s come to life, like a monstrous beast hungry for your time, effort, and money. It’s like it’s become a huge serpent, an ravenous anaconda that has you snared in it’s vice grip is it coils around you…crushing the spirit out of your body until you wander the streets aimlessly when you finally get that rare day off work, wondering what it’s all for. That was a change no one wanted, but that’s what happened and poverty, homelessness and crime increase all followed. But such is life, and even as you feel this hopelessness and wonder what it’s all for, circumstance still gives you that indifferent blank look.
The fact is change happens whether you want it to or not. But some places, some people fight that change. They are idealists sure, but one wonders how they get the spirit to stand up when in reality they have a snowballs chance in hell of making an actual difference. You have your principals and you have your integrity, but at the end of the day even if you go down swinging to change…you still go down. But those who take change in stride while refusing to let the change of the world affect who they are, their values, their core beliefs those are people who DO make a difference. Some may dress in monkey suits and carry briefcases and walk down the streets with goofy looking headpieces attached to their heads answering their phone with “go” but some never sell out completely. You may wear the costume, you may have all the props, but at the end of the day it’s your actions that define you. If your parents did any kind of job raising you, if your boss tells you to do something that will have a side effect you know will be harmful to someone’s life, and you just nod and say “yes sir” then you truly have sold out. And by betraying your values, your upbringing, who you are…you have condemned yourself to the ninth circle of hell if you believe Dante’s Divine Comedy. And honestly, I hope Dante is right because there frozen in ice with your eyes and mouth frozen shut, with big monster three headed Satan chewing on Brutus, Cassius and Judas crying like a little bitch, flapping his giant bat wings freezing your ass even more…remember your betrayals. You earned being there, and you deserve every bit of it.
With how things are going in the world today, especially up by where I reside, treachery is commonplace. It’s an everyday thing, and honestly no other crime sickens me more personally. So if you take nothing else from this rant, take this…no matter what happens to you, no matter what change you have to face down, no matter the trials you are forced to face...never sell out. Never do something that is against your own personal code, because of all the things you could do, of all the things you could betray nothing is worth betraying yourself for. Stand true to what you believe, and no matter your crimes at the end of the ride…you’ll never end up at the deepest circle of hell. At least if you believe Dante.
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It was time. All those weeks leading up to it, all the people he had brutalized to get here and now it was finally moments away. Finally the world would know once and for all that Johnny Valentine is no joke they would look at him and maybe even nod in respect. Not that he cared if they did anything of the sort or not. But one thing he damn sure knew they would stop doing is looking at him like he was some cutesy joke that random people in WFWF had dreamed up to attract old 1950s themed moviegoers and Happy Days fans. Say what they want about Johnny Valentine, say what they want about John Travolta, Greased Lightening, Olivia Newton John, Sylvester Stallone, Henry Winkler, “EEEEEEHHHHHH” and all the other pathetic euphemisms. Laugh about how Flatbush is a condominium, laugh about how it’s now suburb of Brooklyn, New York. Yuck it up freams, enjoy a big tickle about dice, roller skates, and drag racing as well as the ever popular cracks about the drive in.
See how funny you think it is when Johnny Valentine stands victorious at the end of his battle with Yukio Blaze, holding up both his titles! Yeah that’s right freams, both his titles. A little over a month in the company and already a double champion, undefeated, and that would be how it stayed. Because while Johnny Valentine wasn’t going to talk about how all these people in WFWF were “has beens”, “wash ups” or what have you, he honestly believed at the end of the day he could beat any of them. Didn’t matter if you were Obo, EBR, Michael Kyzer, Trace Demon, Jake Slash, CBT, Thunder, Calvin Lee, Reverend Shadow, anyone. And unlike High Horror this wasn’t ego, this wasn’t Johnny Valentine thinking that he was better than he was. It wasn’t his first dance, he’d been places, held titles, and shown that he had the talent to hang with almost anyone.
Sure a lot of those aforementioned people probably thought he was a joke, a novelty to be taken lightly. A joke off the set of some musical or a guy who could silence a jukebox with a snap of his fingers or a “technical tap”, and while sure he did command respect from most, and knew a lot about mechanics didn’t mean that he was the freaking Fonz. He knew that a lot of them thought that way, and well…look where it had gotten a couple of them? Obo and CBT along the way had fallen to him. Is that to say he owned them, is that to say he was better? No, but now and forever the record books will tell of him beating them at least once in their careers. A humbling reminder that “Fonzie with the fuzzy dice and roller skates” put your shoulders to the mat for a three count.
But that was the past, the Road to Glory that had been paved over the bodies of guys like Dead Idol, High Horror, David Williams, and Vinson Evorett. But those guys, like CBT and even Obo had just been the appetizers. Now standing at the cusp of his glory, the door opening in front of him…one man stood between Johnny Valentine and validation. Between him being a joke, and between him being recognized as a serious threat. This whole stinking fed would sit up and take notice of Johnny Valentine when he stood atop her rankings as a double champion. But it wouldn’t be an easy task, he knew that that. The International champ, Yukio Blaze was nothing and no one to sneeze at. Nevermind all the jives and jabs thrown his way about him being a fluke, a charity case, a “thunderstruck” miracle well Johnny Valentine called BS on that. You don’t hold the tag team titles without a partner and actually successfully defend them without having some kind of talent. But while Yukio Blaze was a fierce competitor who deserved respect and Valentine did respect him, that didn’t change Valentine’s view of him.
Yukio Blaze held something Valentine wanted, nay needed for himself. The International championship was his validation, beating Yukio Blaze was one thing, that alone carried a hefty amount of prestige. But as he’s learned in the last month or so, it didn’t matter who you beat, it mattered what you got out of it. The WFWF International championship was a belt, a concoction of leather and metal that actually meant something around here. Valentine had pinned Obo’s shoulders to the mat for three and he was the WFWF World Champion, and all he got out of it was the Hardcore X championship and really what had that gotten him? Nothing, just matches with David Williams and Trace Demon guys who if you asked WFWF fans who they were they’d probably respond with, “who?” and a confused look. So tonight, for all Yukio Blaze’s accomplishments, for all his prestige and his reputation…all Johnny Valentine wanted off of him was that recognizable prop around his waist. And he would have it too and you know why? Because tonight he would not stop, he would not yield tonight with Roxy in his corner holding his leather jacket and his Hardcore X title belt, she would watch him go out there and make her proud. He would weather whatever storm Yukio Blaze could send his way, and when he created the situation for himself…he would kick the man right in the face and plant his shoulders to the mat for three seconds. No one could say anything about him after that, not even his granddad.
I finally eclipse you old man.
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[Johnny Valentine sits in his dressing room, clad in his light denim jeans and a black t-shirt his back against the wall as he puts on black wrist tape, purposefully wrapping his hands as he prepares for his matches this evening. First up is Yukio Blaze for the International title and that nosebleed stands no chance against the radioactive hepcat that is Johnny Valentine. Then he will go out again at Scars and Stripes as a double champion and will throw every other nerd, fream, and nosebleed this place has regardless of name, of reputation, until only he is remains. Then it was just him and Obo and being that the record already read 1-0 for him when the good “captain” of WFWF had seen fit to slum it with the house show talent for a meaningless title that he still held…he liked those odds. Valentine smirked and nodded as he continued to wrap his hands.
Roxy stood at the corner by the leaning on the wall, smacking her chewing gum and watched him prepare. She almost seemed preoccupied tonight but that was mainly because he hadn’t really had a lot of time for her in the last week, he’d really trained hard for Yukio Blaze but mainly for the battle royal. Stealing glances up at her Johnny Valentine again marvelled at his luck having a girl as beautiful as she was. Tonight she wore a black and red poodle skirt that was actually one piece, showing off her amazing legs and she decided to wear her roller skates to the ring tonight. Her brown hair was done up in a “bad Sandy” from Grease style, he swore the hairstylists of this place did that on purpose as a shot at her for her getup and beliefs just like the fans laughed at him for being a “greaser” but she seemed to take it in stride. Besides, that hairstyle looked amazing on her, Valentine snapped out of his reverie as Roxy caught him staring and smiled warmly at him. Blowing a bubble at him around a big grin…she teased him with a joking grin.]
Roxy> See anything you like?
JV> I see a lot that I like doll, if I didn’t have this big match tonight you and I would already be on our way to the passion pit!
Roxy> We can always celebrate your victories later baby.
[Valentine smiled and went back to his tape. He was just about done when he stood up and his phone rang. While he was a child of the 50s at least he might as well have been with where he lived, the people of his fine little town didn’t shun all new technology entirely. It was just like the laws of life and change stated, strive for homeostasis, only achieve dynamic equilibrium. Looking down at his cell phone he smiled briefly at the number…no one called him unless it was home. He wondered what could possibly be happening that they would call him? Maybe that old sod granddad was calling to at long last acknowledge him and wish him luck. He thought about it a moment…nah. Probably grandma, he opened his phone and answered…]
JV> Hey mom.
[There was a brief pause before the frail and quivering voice of his grandmother called through the phone.]
Grandma> Jonathan?
JV> Mama, how are you? You watching my match tonight?
Of course she’s not. She hates this stuff you machismo overloaded bastard. Look maybe I should do the talking here?
Can it fream! I can talk to our own mother just fine on my freaking own thanks!
Grandma> Jonathan…it’s your grandfather.
Oh no…
SHUT IT FREAM!
[Valentine pauses and takes a deep breath…]
JV> What about dad mom?
You knew it would happen eventually, maybe you shouldn’t hear this now…
I SAID CUT THE GAS NERD!!!!!!!!!!!
Grandma> Jonathan, I’m so sorry. He had a heart attack this morning. The doctors tried but…he’s gone.
[Valentine barely heard her. He sat down so abruptly, Roxy pushed off the wall her smile gone as she quickly moved to Valentine’s side.]
Roxy> Baby, what’s wrong? Let me have that…
[Valentine barely felt Roxy take the phone from his hands. It was like he had been punched in the gut, the air stolen from his lungs. For better or worse that man had taught him everything he’s known. He was the most responsible for him being the man he was today, and whether or not that was cause to love him or hate him had always been a point he constantly warred with himself on.]
Roxy> Mommy? What’s…oh my God! When? How? Oh no…
[Roxy was losing it. He could see it, while she and granddad had never been what you would define as “close” her and grandma were practically mother and daughter. She felt for the pain of his grandmother, and as she wept on the phone with her Valentine barely could take stock of where he was or what was happening. The world was a slowly spinning…it was like the settings, the situations everything fell away.]
Look, you have to pull it together here. You’re normally the strong one, I can’t fight for us here. Look, I’m sorry for the loss of dad, I am, but he hated me. You were his creation…you did everything he liked and loved. You’re a constant reminder to me of why I hated that man…but at the end of the day I couldn’t get by here without you.
You hated him. You hated him because like a spoiled little girl you never understood he did what he did because he loved you, you pathetic little jackass.
So emasculating me, beating me, treating me like slime was because he cared? Yeah, I can totally see the love in every scar on our body, and all the marks I have in my soul still. I feel the love, I really do…
You don’t even get it. You’re so stupid. He would have taken a bullet for you. When his screw up daughter turned her back on him and ran off into the “real world” and got hurt, you know where she slithered back to? To him, and to mom because she got knocked up with us and did she do anything? No, she just dumped us with him and ran away you were his second chance you ignorant little fream! He was soft on mom, and that’s why she screwed up so horribly and is probably working streets in Los Angeles or wherever she ran off to to be “discovered.”
You shut up about her. She was never anything to us, why do you even bring her up? She was misguided and got sucked in by some stupid jerk her used her and dumped her. Happens all the time, it just serves as an example of how we don’t want to turn out. With Roxy I can treat her as a man should treat the woman he loves. Dad never even liked Roxy…
Your ignorance amazes me you know that? You’re so blinded by your hatred of how hard dad was on you, you’re so jilted that you didn’t get a lifetime of lollypops, ball gloves and pats on the head, along with all the hugs you could stomach that you don’t get that by doing what he did with you, he better prepared you for the world than anything else could have. When I finally started to emerge, when I finally lashed out at him…and slapped his dentures right out of his face before he put me down, that was the proudest moment he had of you and why? Because you finally stood up. You at last found your balls and stopped being a little pushover, because that’s what mom was. A pushover, and that’s why she’s a loser in nowhereville because she never learned how to stand up for herself. You say he never liked Roxy? He would have killed for her and why? Because she saw what a sensitive, vulnerable sap you were and she never crushed you. As much as she loves her little alone moments with you, as much as you like to think she sees me the side of us that’s a problem that needs fixing and you may even be right about that…she knows that without me, she wouldn’t be with you. Because I can make her feel one thing you never could…
This I have to hear. What could you possibly make her feel that I couldn’t? Accepted? Loved? Desired? Please tell me, Mr. John Travolta, Mr. 1950s…tell me, what could you and dad POSSIBLY have made her feel that I couldn’t huh?
Safe.
[And just like that it happened. The war waging in his head finally had fired a shot that the other part of him honestly had no answer for. Finally after all the time of hating dad, of secretly resenting him for making him into a great big joke to the public, it all came out in a flash of inspiration that only came by hearing that he was dead. How could he hate him? How could he have hated him all this time? All he had tried to do, in his messed up, old school way was make Johnny Valentine a person that would be safe in this world. Because with his own daughter, the mother of the boy he held in his hands…he had failed. It wasn’t that he had hated Johnny for being born, it wasn’t that he hated him at all, he just didn’t want to fail him as he had his mother. He could barely process all this as Roxy continued to bawl and cry on the phone with his grandmother. He sat perfectly still…his face expressionless and a single tear rolling down his right cheek. He barely felt it, he barely felt anything anymore.]
Roxy> Mommy, we’re so sorry! We’ll be on the next flight…what? Who cares…okay. Are you sure? I could go…you’re right mommy. He’s here.
[Roxy handed the phone to Valentine and barely able to process what was happening he put the phone to his ear and cleared his throat and took a breath.]
JV> Yeah mom?
Grandma> Jonathan, I want you to know that your dad was going to watch you tonight. He was incredibly proud of you and I have a letter to you from him that he wrote in the last couple of weeks. I’ll send it to you.
JV> Mom, Roxy and I will come to you. Honestly this isn’t that important, you need us…
Grandma> No Jonathan! Your daddy and I watched you work week in and week out for this, this is your moment! Your dad would have wanted you to go through with this, and remember that win or lose, he is with you and is very proud of you.
[More tears welled in his eyes as he took another breath trying to fight them back. This wasn’t the time, he couldn’t feel this now. Now was not the time to be weak, to fall to pieces, now was the time to do the one thing granddad had fought to instil in him how to do. It was time to stand up and be a man…the man he was raised to be.]
JV> Mom, I can send Roxy back. I’ll do my match tonight for dad and then head out…
Grandma> I’m going to tell you what I told her Jonathan, a woman’s place is at her man’s side. I’ll be here when this is over, and I’ll be watching you tonight. I know you’ll do fantastic baby and when you get here, and then we’ll grieve together. But for tonight…celebrate your grandfather, celebrate daddy by showing everyone in the world what Jonathan Valentine is about. What he was raised to be about!
JV> I promise you mommy, I promise you that by the end of tonight…everyone will know what Valentines are about!
Grandma> Good luck to you, my special little man.
[There was a click at the other end. Valentine put down the phone and sat before putting his head in his hands and crying for his loss, though he could feel her trembling and struggling with the loss herself, Roxy sat beside him quietly and gently stroked his back.]
ed off to God knows where. And because you did such an incredible job on her rather than throw me to a set of foster parents or the orphanage, well she just came right back home and dumped me in your time warped lap didn’t she? Man I can see you licking your chops as I lay there, innocent, ignorant, a blank template for you to screw up. 
