Loaded RP: Knock, knock! Who's there?

[Deleted]

Knock knock

Kat stared at the door frozen. She'd been nervous since Carrie had been carted away from the grocery store. The rabid fan's last words to her had been, "I LOVE YOU!" That had Kat freaked out so much she'd bought extra locks for her apartment door.

Knock Knock
There was that report on the news that someone had escaped from the local jail. Did they take Carrie to the local jail?

Knock Knock

Kat still stood staring at the door. That could be Carrie, they weren't saying anything. She had a thought flash through her head.

The pounding on the door got louder and louder, heavy breathing became audible through the door... Finally a revving sound was heard, a chainsaw? The blade cut through the door making a completely perfect square. A fist punched through the door and Carrie poked her head through the hole. Her hair was a wild and tangle mess, she revved the chainsaw and looked at Kat lustfully, "Kat... I've come for you my darling. Kat..."

KNOCK KNOCK

"KAAAAAAAAATT!" That voice didn't sound like Carrie's. The voice was masculine yet still familiar. "Lemme in! This crap is heavy!"

"Hold on!" Kat rushed over to the door and unlocked, unbolted, and unchained the door and peeked out. "Jimi?"

There stood a young man, dressed a lot like a homeless person, holding a large box with the words, KURT'S S*** DON'T BREAK YOU DUMBASS on it. The man was Jimi Hamilton, Kat's younger brother. He looked like he was struggling to keep the box up. "Sis? Could ya let me in? This crap weighs a ton!"

Kat rolled her eyes and let the man in. "Jimi, why didn't you say it was you sooner?" She relocked, rebolted, and rechained the door and made damn sure that the door was indeed completely secured.

"Sorry, I wasn't thinkin'." Jimi dropped the box with a loud crash and walked away unaffected by the noise. "You should leave the door unlocked, I've got like six more boxes of this junk to bring in."

Kat cringed, not while there was the possibility of Carrie on the loose. "I don't think so."

"You still worried about that stalker chick? Listen, she'll go away just like the old guy from the strip club." Jimi took the dirty bandana off his head and wiped sweat off his face with it. "What happened to that guy?"

"I don't know, just hurry up and get the rest of the crap in here." Kat once again began the ritual of unlocking her door to let Jimi out.

He stood there in the doorway for a minute staring at her for a minute. "Why is Kurt movin' in here when you're not even dating?"

"Because it saves both of us money." Kat pushed on Jimi to get him out into the hallway.

"What happened to the house Thunder bought him?"

"He sold it. Can you go please?"

"And why isn't he here movin' his own stuff?"

"Because he wanted to go on to the next city." Kat started using all of her body weight to get him out of her apartment. "Now get the rest of the stuff in here now!"

Jimi began pushing her back. "You should help. It'll be like training for your match this week."

"We can go to the gym later!"

"Okay later... You help now?" Jimi's lip started quivering and his eyes started tearing up. "Pwease? Don't you love your little brother?"

"Fine. But if Carrie shows up, you're taking her out."

Jimi laughed and held the door open for Kat. "Sure thing!"

"And by the way I don't need training to take out Candi and Brooke. Vanessa might be another story."

"Great! I can teach ya some of my signature moves! Take her out with a little Hair of the Dog? Or maybe give her a High Times?"

Kat looked at Jimi puzzled. " Give her a what? Why did you start naming your moves? You're an MMA guy."

Jimi got a huge grin on his face and put her in a bear hug. "BECAUSE I JUST JOINED THE WFWF!"

Kat almost started crying. "Great! I've got a psycho stalker after me and now Jimi's joined the same fed as me. I love my life."

[Revvie®]

A fist punched through the door and Carrie poked her head through the hole. Her hair was a wild and tangle mess, she revved the chainsaw and looked at Kat lustfully, "Kat... I've come for you my darling. Kat

Did anyone else think of "The Shining" when they read that. I mean not quite the same but the imagery was similar. ANYWAYS..to the rp.

Over the rp felt real, I loved the small day dream you had about her coming through the door. People do that crap all the time but you rarely read it in rps and I think that made it really interesting especially since it stood out b/c of the rest of your rp stayed within the realm of reality.

The emotions seemed real to me and the conversation gave a humorus feel to it that I enjoyed but also stayed pretty much on topic of what was going on seriously in your life. Also the description of the movements complimented the words and emotions well.

I think the only thing I didnt like was the lack of any real thing about the match. I know alot of ppl will say you never have to say anything ever about your match but ussually(unless im just doing a cd rp and i state that in my thing) I try to give my match a descent amount of time in the rp or try to make a great over all comparison to it hidden within.

I mean there was the small mention at the end that showed confidence but little otherwise.

Over all I think this was a pretty good rp. I think giving a bit more thought on the match would be nice but opinions differ on that so its really up to you. Good Luck!

Revvie

Ps: Don't go to the gym, its getting crowded these days.

[cureforthesickness]

I like your story. I like crazy lesbian stalkers.

[sonstuds]

I thought this was excellent.

I really thoroughly enjoyed it. I disagree with Rev on the mentioning your match deal, considering the circumstances you did more than you needed to. Kat's mind wouldn't be on wrestling.

It's impressive to improve that much on description in one week. It went from a flaw to a strength, so major kudos to that.

This is easily one of my favorite RPs of the week. Good job.

[Revvie®]

sonstuds said:

I thought this was excellent.

I really thoroughly enjoyed it. I disagree with Rev on the mentioning your match deal, considering the circumstances you did more than you needed to. Kat's mind wouldn't be on wrestling.

It's impressive to improve that much on description in one week. It went from a flaw to a strength, so major kudos to that.

This is easily one of my favorite RPs of the week. Good job.

see...everyone has an opinion on that

[sonstuds]

greyshadow04dna said:

sonstuds said:

I thought this was excellent.

I really thoroughly enjoyed it. I disagree with Rev on the mentioning your match deal, considering the circumstances you did more than you needed to. Kat's mind wouldn't be on wrestling.

It's impressive to improve that much on description in one week. It went from a flaw to a strength, so major kudos to that.

This is easily one of my favorite RPs of the week. Good job.

see...everyone has an opinion on that

I also disagree with the phrase "character development RP", but I suppose that's neither here nor there.