Post by kingkraig on Nov 3, 2007 9:17:49 GMT -5
[King Kraig is seen sitting in his living room with his daughter from the future. They are sitting on a blue couch, the ceiling is painted white, and the walls are a peach color. He looks confused and we know this because he has a questionable look on his face.]
King Kraig: So why did you come here, future daughter?
Daughter: I need to warn you of a grave danger.
King Kraig: What’s your name?
Daughter: Ashley.
King Kraig: Okay.
Ashley: In the very distinct future, 2011, there’s a war involving humans and robots.
King Kraig: Like the Terminator?
Ashley: Yes. And only one man is capable of saving the human race. They’re outmatched by the robots, see. They were built to well.
King Kraig: Like the Terminator?
Ashley: Yes.
King Kraig: Okay. Continue.
Ashley: There’s only one man who is capable of saving the human race. I’ve been sent into the past to get him.
King Kraig: Like the Terminator?
Ashley: No. That’s not exactly what happened in that movie.
King Kraig: Right. But I’m that man?
Ashley: No.
King Kraig: You sure?
Ashley: Yes.
King Kraig: So why would you come?
Ashley: Just saying what’s up. Because you’re my dad.
King Kraig: Okay.
Ashley: Yes.
King Kraig: Want to watch TV?
Ashley: Sure. Even though I should probably be focused on saving the world because of the, you know, killer robots and what not.
King Kraig: I’m sorry, but this entire story sounds like someone just stole an idea.
Ashley: These killer robots are called High Horrors.
King Kraig: Oh okay.
[He turns on the TV and they watch Lost.]
King Kraig: So out of curiosity what ends up happening?
Ashley: They never tell us. The series just kind of ends. Everyone gets really pissed. The ocean disappears in Season 6.
King Kraig: You’re really smart and have a rather large vocabulary for someone who’s a small child.
Ashley: Uh…I play with thumb wax and give myself boo-boos. I went to pewwe school. Cavin Le is a elmo.
King Kraig: Okay then. How old are you?
Ashley: Seven. I mean “I’m this many years old”.
[She holds up five fingers and two thumbs.]
King Kraig: If you’re seven in 2011 shouldn’t you already be born by now?
Ashley: Not necessarily.
King Kraig: How?
Ashley: In the future you age twice as fast. Kind of like dog years.
King Kraig: Oh okay, that makes sense now that you explained it in full detail. So who is it who saves the world from this army of High Horrors?
Ashley: I hear his name is Luther Castle.
[King Kraig now looks really angry. To show this he punches a big hole in the wall. His daughter looks scared because her past father just punched a big hole in the wall. It’s really terrifying because nothing symbolizes anger and rage more than punching a big hole in the wall.]
King Kraig: Luther Castle is a joke! He hates America! Are you trying to tell me you need Luther Castle to save the world in 2011 from the killer robot army called High Horrors?
Ashley: Yes.
King Kraig: Get out! I wish you were never born! This is a really mean thing to say to you because you are my daughter so you should be hurt by the statement I just made!
Ashley: Yes.
King Kraig: Yes you are hurt or yes you should be hurt?
Ashley: Both.
[King Kraig puts his hands on his head and immediately gets really upset because he just yelled at his future daughter.]
King Kraig: OMG I’m sorry future daughter Ashley it’s just that I really don’t like Luther Castle. He’s an anti-American jerk. At Scars and Stripes I’m going to destroy him. He is who I think he is! That’s why I’m gonna face him! If you want to crown (pun) his a$$ then crown his ass! BUT LUTHER CASTLE IS WHO I THINK HE IS! I’M NOT GONNA LET HIM OFF THE HOOK!
Ashley: Why did your voice just suddenly pick up in volume and tone?
King Kraig: BECAUSE I’M YELLING REALLY LOUDLY.
Ashley: Yes. I’m sorry if you cannot understand why I need to seek out this Luther Castle. You need to put your personal dislike aside for the sake of the world.
King Kraig: The world is stupid.
[He folds his arms.]
Ashley: Don’t pout.
King Kraig: I’m not pouting!
Ashley: If you don’t save the world then you’ll never get to see me grow up.
King Kraig: Meh.
Ashley: That’s really hurtful. Because of your insincere one word response I’m not gonna seek out Luther Castle. This is incredibly unfair to the entire Earth population but you have yourself to blame. This makes you look like a bigger heel because you’ll kill the world in 2011 unless a resistance group possibly called The Josh Deans assemble to battle these High Horrors. But what are the odds?
King Kraig: Couldn’t your future-future self just go to the past and tell you?
Ashley: Not if the world is DEAD!
King Kraig: Right.
Ashley: I hope you’re happy with yourself.
King Kraig: Meh.
[She crystallizes into vision and disappears. A camera suddenly shows up and starts filming King Kraig who gets up and walks out of his house. He gets into his car and drives down the highway before he walks to the beach. This is a good location to discuss a match with Luther Castle. The camera followed him and is now filming King Kraig.]
King Kraig: Luther Castle you’re a dead beat. You think America’s so lame? Then do everyone a favor and get the F out!! You’re stupid. You make no difference in this world. You’ll never be asked to go into the future and help save a world being attacked by a group of robots because nobody likes you. Your name may imply you’re royalty, but mine does more. And I live in a castle, it’s just your name. I’m gonna win this match for AMERICA! And when it’s all said and done I hope you can learn to LIVE WITH IT! And if I don’t win I apparently have to leave the WFWF. I don’t want that happen so that’s another reason I have to win.
[He looks into the camera with a face of determination.]
King Kraig: Luther, what are you gonna do when King Kraig crowns you? You’ll lose, that’s what. And that’s the top of the scroll because King Kraig has told you so.
[King Kraig walks away as the camera fades.]
King Kraig: So why did you come here, future daughter?
Daughter: I need to warn you of a grave danger.
King Kraig: What’s your name?
Daughter: Ashley.
King Kraig: Okay.
Ashley: In the very distinct future, 2011, there’s a war involving humans and robots.
King Kraig: Like the Terminator?
Ashley: Yes. And only one man is capable of saving the human race. They’re outmatched by the robots, see. They were built to well.
King Kraig: Like the Terminator?
Ashley: Yes.
King Kraig: Okay. Continue.
Ashley: There’s only one man who is capable of saving the human race. I’ve been sent into the past to get him.
King Kraig: Like the Terminator?
Ashley: No. That’s not exactly what happened in that movie.
King Kraig: Right. But I’m that man?
Ashley: No.
King Kraig: You sure?
Ashley: Yes.
King Kraig: So why would you come?
Ashley: Just saying what’s up. Because you’re my dad.
King Kraig: Okay.
Ashley: Yes.
King Kraig: Want to watch TV?
Ashley: Sure. Even though I should probably be focused on saving the world because of the, you know, killer robots and what not.
King Kraig: I’m sorry, but this entire story sounds like someone just stole an idea.
Ashley: These killer robots are called High Horrors.
King Kraig: Oh okay.
[He turns on the TV and they watch Lost.]
King Kraig: So out of curiosity what ends up happening?
Ashley: They never tell us. The series just kind of ends. Everyone gets really pissed. The ocean disappears in Season 6.
King Kraig: You’re really smart and have a rather large vocabulary for someone who’s a small child.
Ashley: Uh…I play with thumb wax and give myself boo-boos. I went to pewwe school. Cavin Le is a elmo.
King Kraig: Okay then. How old are you?
Ashley: Seven. I mean “I’m this many years old”.
[She holds up five fingers and two thumbs.]
King Kraig: If you’re seven in 2011 shouldn’t you already be born by now?
Ashley: Not necessarily.
King Kraig: How?
Ashley: In the future you age twice as fast. Kind of like dog years.
King Kraig: Oh okay, that makes sense now that you explained it in full detail. So who is it who saves the world from this army of High Horrors?
Ashley: I hear his name is Luther Castle.
[King Kraig now looks really angry. To show this he punches a big hole in the wall. His daughter looks scared because her past father just punched a big hole in the wall. It’s really terrifying because nothing symbolizes anger and rage more than punching a big hole in the wall.]
King Kraig: Luther Castle is a joke! He hates America! Are you trying to tell me you need Luther Castle to save the world in 2011 from the killer robot army called High Horrors?
Ashley: Yes.
King Kraig: Get out! I wish you were never born! This is a really mean thing to say to you because you are my daughter so you should be hurt by the statement I just made!
Ashley: Yes.
King Kraig: Yes you are hurt or yes you should be hurt?
Ashley: Both.
[King Kraig puts his hands on his head and immediately gets really upset because he just yelled at his future daughter.]
King Kraig: OMG I’m sorry future daughter Ashley it’s just that I really don’t like Luther Castle. He’s an anti-American jerk. At Scars and Stripes I’m going to destroy him. He is who I think he is! That’s why I’m gonna face him! If you want to crown (pun) his a$$ then crown his ass! BUT LUTHER CASTLE IS WHO I THINK HE IS! I’M NOT GONNA LET HIM OFF THE HOOK!
Ashley: Why did your voice just suddenly pick up in volume and tone?
King Kraig: BECAUSE I’M YELLING REALLY LOUDLY.
Ashley: Yes. I’m sorry if you cannot understand why I need to seek out this Luther Castle. You need to put your personal dislike aside for the sake of the world.
King Kraig: The world is stupid.
[He folds his arms.]
Ashley: Don’t pout.
King Kraig: I’m not pouting!
Ashley: If you don’t save the world then you’ll never get to see me grow up.
King Kraig: Meh.
Ashley: That’s really hurtful. Because of your insincere one word response I’m not gonna seek out Luther Castle. This is incredibly unfair to the entire Earth population but you have yourself to blame. This makes you look like a bigger heel because you’ll kill the world in 2011 unless a resistance group possibly called The Josh Deans assemble to battle these High Horrors. But what are the odds?
King Kraig: Couldn’t your future-future self just go to the past and tell you?
Ashley: Not if the world is DEAD!
King Kraig: Right.
Ashley: I hope you’re happy with yourself.
King Kraig: Meh.
[She crystallizes into vision and disappears. A camera suddenly shows up and starts filming King Kraig who gets up and walks out of his house. He gets into his car and drives down the highway before he walks to the beach. This is a good location to discuss a match with Luther Castle. The camera followed him and is now filming King Kraig.]
King Kraig: Luther Castle you’re a dead beat. You think America’s so lame? Then do everyone a favor and get the F out!! You’re stupid. You make no difference in this world. You’ll never be asked to go into the future and help save a world being attacked by a group of robots because nobody likes you. Your name may imply you’re royalty, but mine does more. And I live in a castle, it’s just your name. I’m gonna win this match for AMERICA! And when it’s all said and done I hope you can learn to LIVE WITH IT! And if I don’t win I apparently have to leave the WFWF. I don’t want that happen so that’s another reason I have to win.
[He looks into the camera with a face of determination.]
King Kraig: Luther, what are you gonna do when King Kraig crowns you? You’ll lose, that’s what. And that’s the top of the scroll because King Kraig has told you so.
[King Kraig walks away as the camera fades.]
Three, if you reported this post, everyone will get into trouble.