Post by kingkraig on Oct 11, 2007 21:50:58 GMT -5
[The camera is focused on a man. We don’t know who this man is, but it’s all the camera can identify at the moment. He walks along a tunnel of doom reality, which is really just a side walk. It’s a sunny morning in Maine. People are talking about the weather and how nice it is. The grass is green and the air is slightly smoggy from all the garbage that’s spread around the world which is also causing global warming. Birds are flying and stuff. Nice day, which the camera is able to capture. King Kraig continues walking, and every so often will make an occasional glance at the camera. Even though he’s will aware he is being filmed he keeps on walking and wastes the camera man’s time, who is holding the camera. Eventually he acknowledges the camera.]
King Kraig: It’s been a long time since my last WFWF match. A little too long, some could say. I was burned out. I couldn’t handle the WFWF and its schedule. One show a week was just too much for me. And the traveling…oh boy, the traveling! One city to the next! People just don’t understand what us wrestlers have to go through…it’s tough. But after traveling the Milky Way galaxy I came to a realization. That realization? I’m tough as well.
[He pulls a lighter out of his front pocket, and almost on cue the sun goes behind clouds and darkness surrounds the area.]
King Kraig: The fire is still burning in my heart. It’s there, flamey as ever. This time I’m not gonna burn out. I’m gonna reign supreme and rule the WFWF. I’m not just saying that because the word king is in my name. I’m saying it because it’s true, and I believe it.
[The camera zooms in on King Kraig’s lighter as he ignites it. He flicks it on and off, the camera capturing every moment. He keeps the flame up for seconds, which the camera continues to watch. Camera.]
King Kraig: As I brought up earlier, this flame represents me. I used to think I was bold and fearless, capable of destroying villages. But eventually
[He lets the flame die down.]
King Kraig: I disappeared. I couldn’t cope with the pressure. Stress took its toll on me. So like the flame that I was using for this metaphor, I died down. And I was forgotten, abandoned by the WFWF and all of its associates. And they wanted that to happen. They wanted to hold me down. Yukio Blaze hated me. He only wants his version of a champion. You know what? Nuts to what Yukio Blaze wants. I’m the new fire around here, he needs to change his name to Yukio Jones or something. So what does he do when I make my return? He books me in a battle royal. Which makes sense, because my last match was a battle royal. But both things have in one thing in common. They’re stupid, but unlike the first time I plan to win.
[He puts the lighter in his pocket, done with his deep metaphor.]
King Kraig: My competition is minimal and my hunger is gigantic. Jay Mayhem may have several months on me in terms of experience, but he has about the same number of wins. That’s two, and in your case that’s really sad. Maybe you should get a new profession. Jay Mayhem makes a good porn name if you’re into on screen orgies. And Justin Sane? More like Just An Idiot. Your parents were either drunk or you think having a double entendre name is cool. How exactly are you insane anyways? Do you go 60 on a 50 mile an hour road? Remind me not to get in any beef with you, you’ll probably ask me to apologize while cussing uncontrollably. You’re “Justin Sane!”.
[King Kraig laughs at his own joke.]
King Kraig: Then you have some jokers named Thomas Brewington and BJ Rocker. I don’t know anything about them, but I hear they’re pretty talented…just kidding, I hear they both have sexually transmitted diseases. I’d look into that, I hear crabs are itchy.
[He looks into the camera.]
King Kraig: There’s also Flamez. As I mentioned, I’m the only fire around here, but at least I have the decency not to make it my name. It’d be more appropriate if you changed it to “Lamez”. What exactly burns with you? Perhaps you may be the mystery in the Thomas Brewington and BJ Rocker crotch itch scandal.
[The sun comes out as King Kraig smiles.]
King Kraig: The only cool guy in this match is Dead Idol. I’d like to go golfing with him. Phone me and we’ll make plans. I’m also facing two girls but they’re names don’t matter. Contrary to belief, I’m actually a firm advocate of women’s rights. I’d ask you to go to law school, but chances are the only time you’ve ever heard the word “Harvard” was when you watched Legally Blonde. Just stick to watching the Hills or something. But, let’s not also forgot one of the more popular females in this group. He goes by the name of Luther Castle. What can I really say about him? He’s a piece of trash. He also hates America, and I plan to destroy him for that at Scars and Stripes.
[King Kraig walks around again as the camera follows.]
King Kraig: So in closing, I plan to win this match. The fire still burns in me.
[Out of no where a small child runs up to King Kraig.]
Small Child: Daddy daddy I’m lost.
King Kraig: I have kids?
Small Child: Yes. I’m your daughter from five years in the future. In the future we have time warps.
King Kraig: You mean like Terminator?
Small Child: Sure. There’s a terrible tragedy, you need to come quick.
[King Kraig looks really scared and confused as the camera fades.]
King Kraig: It’s been a long time since my last WFWF match. A little too long, some could say. I was burned out. I couldn’t handle the WFWF and its schedule. One show a week was just too much for me. And the traveling…oh boy, the traveling! One city to the next! People just don’t understand what us wrestlers have to go through…it’s tough. But after traveling the Milky Way galaxy I came to a realization. That realization? I’m tough as well.
[He pulls a lighter out of his front pocket, and almost on cue the sun goes behind clouds and darkness surrounds the area.]
King Kraig: The fire is still burning in my heart. It’s there, flamey as ever. This time I’m not gonna burn out. I’m gonna reign supreme and rule the WFWF. I’m not just saying that because the word king is in my name. I’m saying it because it’s true, and I believe it.
[The camera zooms in on King Kraig’s lighter as he ignites it. He flicks it on and off, the camera capturing every moment. He keeps the flame up for seconds, which the camera continues to watch. Camera.]
King Kraig: As I brought up earlier, this flame represents me. I used to think I was bold and fearless, capable of destroying villages. But eventually
[He lets the flame die down.]
King Kraig: I disappeared. I couldn’t cope with the pressure. Stress took its toll on me. So like the flame that I was using for this metaphor, I died down. And I was forgotten, abandoned by the WFWF and all of its associates. And they wanted that to happen. They wanted to hold me down. Yukio Blaze hated me. He only wants his version of a champion. You know what? Nuts to what Yukio Blaze wants. I’m the new fire around here, he needs to change his name to Yukio Jones or something. So what does he do when I make my return? He books me in a battle royal. Which makes sense, because my last match was a battle royal. But both things have in one thing in common. They’re stupid, but unlike the first time I plan to win.
[He puts the lighter in his pocket, done with his deep metaphor.]
King Kraig: My competition is minimal and my hunger is gigantic. Jay Mayhem may have several months on me in terms of experience, but he has about the same number of wins. That’s two, and in your case that’s really sad. Maybe you should get a new profession. Jay Mayhem makes a good porn name if you’re into on screen orgies. And Justin Sane? More like Just An Idiot. Your parents were either drunk or you think having a double entendre name is cool. How exactly are you insane anyways? Do you go 60 on a 50 mile an hour road? Remind me not to get in any beef with you, you’ll probably ask me to apologize while cussing uncontrollably. You’re “Justin Sane!”.
[King Kraig laughs at his own joke.]
King Kraig: Then you have some jokers named Thomas Brewington and BJ Rocker. I don’t know anything about them, but I hear they’re pretty talented…just kidding, I hear they both have sexually transmitted diseases. I’d look into that, I hear crabs are itchy.
[He looks into the camera.]
King Kraig: There’s also Flamez. As I mentioned, I’m the only fire around here, but at least I have the decency not to make it my name. It’d be more appropriate if you changed it to “Lamez”. What exactly burns with you? Perhaps you may be the mystery in the Thomas Brewington and BJ Rocker crotch itch scandal.
[The sun comes out as King Kraig smiles.]
King Kraig: The only cool guy in this match is Dead Idol. I’d like to go golfing with him. Phone me and we’ll make plans. I’m also facing two girls but they’re names don’t matter. Contrary to belief, I’m actually a firm advocate of women’s rights. I’d ask you to go to law school, but chances are the only time you’ve ever heard the word “Harvard” was when you watched Legally Blonde. Just stick to watching the Hills or something. But, let’s not also forgot one of the more popular females in this group. He goes by the name of Luther Castle. What can I really say about him? He’s a piece of trash. He also hates America, and I plan to destroy him for that at Scars and Stripes.
[King Kraig walks around again as the camera follows.]
King Kraig: So in closing, I plan to win this match. The fire still burns in me.
[Out of no where a small child runs up to King Kraig.]
Small Child: Daddy daddy I’m lost.
King Kraig: I have kids?
Small Child: Yes. I’m your daughter from five years in the future. In the future we have time warps.
King Kraig: You mean like Terminator?
Small Child: Sure. There’s a terrible tragedy, you need to come quick.
[King Kraig looks really scared and confused as the camera fades.]
