FDS :-X Loaded RP- David Williams, Destiny

[Markw]

I went into the House Show with nothing and once again I left with nothing, again I failed to succeed in my quest. Look where it gets me, my very first Loaded show this was meant to be special, instead I get a shot at some tacky plastic cup. The only good point about this match is I get to step in the ring with Wayne ‘I can’t beat Obo’ McGurk .

Really I’m embarrassed that I have to step in the ring with half of those jobbers, I mean for one I should be on Loaded full time, I shouldn’t be facing some useless dude like, well I don’t know… Casino?

I’ve had a lot of tough moments in my life, there was my Dad walking out on me, my mum dying, Jake going into a coma, my daughter and Wife dying but really the toughest thing of all is going to be keeping myself from laughing when I step in the ring against Jay and Kay Mayhem *Laughs*. I mean how have those two even got a shot thet’re without a shadow of a doubt the worst tag team in the history of WFWF.

This match is sure to be a complete disaster. The first thing I’m going to point out is why is a guy who was main event for the past few months contending for a House Show title.

If I were Wayne McGurk I’d be outraged, I’m outraged as it is and I’m on the HS, Wayne and Yukio won last week, yet Yukio gets a Title shot and our owner get’s a Shot at a House Show title what’s up with that.


David was sat leaning back in his armchair flicking the channels on the TV and looking at the bottle of beer that lay on the table next to him, he picked up and gave a short smile as he put the bottle back on the table keeping his eyes on it and not looking away for a second.

David: “What’s the point?”

David looked again at the bottle his eyes were stuck to it

David: “I’ve done nothing, helped no one and accomplished nothing. I’ve tried, but I guess some people aren’t meant to live the life they had hoped for”

David still wouldn’t look away from the Bottle.

David: “My memories tell my story. My story tells my pain”.

David picked up the bottle again.

David: “I thought I was important”.

David grabbed the bottle opener .

David: “I guess I was wrong”.

David opened the bottle.
David: “I guess I’m not meant to be happy”

David held the cold bottle of beer to his lips, he looked at it for a second a sly cocky look on his face, he again put the bottle on the table but continued to look at it.

David: “I’m not going to be saved, and neither will I be a saviour”.

David touched the cold damp bottle.

David: “I’m meant to be a failure and a failure I will stay”.

David again picked the bottle up this time throwing it against the wall with all his might, he stepped up walked towards the shattered glass and picked up a piece in his hand.

David: “My dreams are shattered and will never be fixed”.

He threw the shard of glass on the ground, walking out from the living room and entering the corridor, there were pictures on the wall, pictures David wished he had never seen, cracks in the dry dusty walls, David walked towards the door and opened it revealling darkness, Rain and the crackling of thunder.

David: “My Dreams, My Dreams show my mind”.

David: “My Dreams show the truth”.

David: “My Dreams so lost opportunity and the future”.

David: “My Dreams show my Destruction”.

David: ‘My dreams show the truth”.

David: “And my life shows the darkness”.

Walking out into the rain, David smiled, a slightly obscure smile.

David: “I can’t wait, I can’t wait for my destruction because it will no doubt be better than my life”

David walked to his car, pulling a can of beer from the tray he sat on his chair and started up the car placing the Can beside him.

David soon arrived at Madison Square Gardens, a legendary Arena and soon he would be stepping out on that stage for the first time.

David took the can of beer walking in to the arena and through to the ramp he opened the can of beer and looked at it.

David: “This is my Destiny”.

David threw the can into the crowd of empty seats with a sarcastic looking smile on his face.

David: “Destiny”.

OOC: Everthing I said was not to offend anyone (Looks at Jay Mayhem) It’s just my character I didn’t have many ideas but I suppose it’s ok for what it is as I didn't have much time

[sonstuds]

I think it's an improvement from last week. The opening with the opponents was better then usual, but the whole "slamming McGurk" thing was a little strange to me for some reason, and I found myself kind of asking "...is this it?" when it ended. Just seemed like you put an abrupt stop to it.

The second part was also strange. I read your RPs on a weekly basis and I really have no clue where any of that came from. That aside, the bigger issues where the fact you kept mentioning the word "bottle" in it seemed every description break, and just the general impression that David Williams is literally saying all of this out loud. Now he just looks criminally insane and weird. But I suppose that could be considered a good thing. *shrugs*

[Kurt Burton: Script Doctor!]

Well... I am sad you got no replies. But good work. The descrption was good, not over killed. The single lines being spaced out was very impactful.

My only gripe is the ending. There is not much there. The segway is a little awkward, and then it just ends.