10/8 Loaded: "More Than Meets The Eye"

[Thunder]

Not as good as my recent efforts, but I really didn't have much time to work on it this week.

[sonstuds]

You're in the position we're you're becoming far and away the best at starting and ending roleplays, arguably two of the hardest things to write. You're one of the few, if not the only, who actually makes me want to immediately read the following RP.

My only confusion lies on Thunder knowing that Robert had a knife. If I remember correctly Robert toyed with the idea of killing Thunder, but never actually took the knife out of his pocket, much less let Thunder see it.

Good job overall.

[Kurt Burton: Script Doctor!]

Love the cliff hangers man. I think this was better than last week's to be honest. Not much else to say. Good work

[Thunder]

sonstuds said:

You're in the position we're you're becoming far and away the best at starting and ending roleplays, arguably two of the hardest things to write. You're one of the few, if not the only, who actually makes me want to immediately read the following RP.

My only confusion lies on Thunder knowing that Robert had a knife. If I remember correctly Robert toyed with the idea of killing Thunder, but never actually took the knife out of his pocket, much less let Thunder see it.

Good job overall.

From last week. . .

Slowly, and reluctantly, he pulled the knife out of his pocket.

He did take it out, but I'll admit it's a bit of a stetch that Thunder would figure out what it was a knife.

But thanks for the feedback guys.

[veronicaaaahhhh]

You're RP's have a very daytime soapish quality to them; in which there's always something more to be told or done. I like that. I really like that. You make us want more.

I guess my only complaint is that there's very little acknowledgment of the match. Though it doesn't effect the flow of the story, I do think that an RP should have some mention of the match; but that's just me.