Loaded RP Once Again

[Yukio Blaze]

“What if a demon were to creep after you one night, in your loneliest loneliness, and say, 'This life which you live must be lived by you once again and innumerable times more; and every pain and joy and thought and sigh must come again to you, all in the same sequence. The eternal hourglass will again and again be turned and you with it, dust of the dust!' Would you throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse that demon? Or would you answer, 'Never have I heard anything more divine '?” - Friedrich Nietzsche


“No matter how dark the night, somehow the sun rises once again and all shadows are chased away” - David Matthew Click

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Yukio Blaze lost at Survival Of The Fittest, by getting defeating by Thunder. It was a very excellent match, but the International Title slipped away from Yukio once again. Everyone thought that a new contender to the title would be made, but Wayne McGurk announced that there would be a Survival Of The Fittest re-match, but with a very simple twist. Thunder is going up against Obo at Scars and Stripes, so if he manages to retain the title, it could possibly mean a unification match between the International and World titles, which would mean Yukio has to give it his all in the squared circle this week, but there was another stipulation that was added against Yukio, if he fails and loses this International title match, he would never see another match for it. If he blows it, its going to be the last time he contends for the title. The odds are once again stacked on Blaze as if he was a center piece of a building block unit. All around, he needs to overpower all of the moves as on Loaded, it is his Last Chance all around.[/i][/b]




The city that never sleeps is a understatement. New York City is a place that will never die, even through all the tragedies that it has seen in the past or the ones that they will see in the future. You have cabs filled along each sides of the street waiting for the next business man to come along on his lunch break, or a women that has a couple of kids trying to get a break by getting a ride. Then there is the NYPD who is overwhelming during the day time, but more prepared in the night. Most of the time there is nothing but small thefts like candy from party stores and stuff like that, but they do get a occasional shooting in the day. The tall skyscrapers like the Empire Stat Building is a must for New York site seeing. The architecture of that monstrosity is just beyond all limits. It makes it just that more intriguing. The number one attraction is that of Central Park. Its the only place in the city that has been overrun with buildings or those annoying Starbucks coffees. The coach carriage ride is a highlight, along with the huge lake in the middle. On a day like this, everything and anything can happen. Over there at one of the benches sits Yukio Blaze looking around and taking it all in. He has a newspaper sitting beside him and he is patting his hand on his right leg.



No matter how many times I've been here, it never gets old. I've seen this place in the spring, when the trees start to turn back to green and the grass starts to pop up. I've seen it in the summer, when its a hundred degrees plus. Its so dangerous that they occasionally close this place and warn the people to stay indoors and drink plenty of liquids, but I think the one that takes the cake is when I've been here in late December, early January. I'm talking some of the coldest and snowiest days in the Northeast. I'm crazy enough to come out here like this, but this place is just like home. It has everything that you want to see, happiness, families, different seasons, but also the crime and dangers thats await a key few.



Yukio takes his hand and puts it under his chin as if he is thinking of something, but then he starts to itch his beard and his face overcomes with a smile.



Flashback

It was the year 2005. It was in March, but the first time that Yukio has ever been in New York City. He was a fish out of water as he didnt know what to do. He tipped the cab driver a extra twenty and the pretzel vendor another five spot. He picked up a paper and he then took a spot right at a park bench. He ate most of the pretzel and then started looking at the paper and on the back section of the headlines, was a advertisement for Superbrawl III. It had Johnny Michaels, along with Alex Astounding, Uppercut and others faces concealed in a elimination chamber. It said in about five days, Superbrawl was coming back to where it all started, Madison Square Garden. Yukio smiled as he realized that he finally made it.



Its a really funny thing that the only times I get to see this place is when we are in town to wrestle at one of the nearby arenas. Madison Square Garden, Hammerstein Ballroom, or across the river in Jersey. Its also funny that I pull off some of the greatest matches in cities that mean something to me. For example, my first ever match at the Garden was for Superbrawl III. It was the second opening match as it was a survival six way match, with the winner getting the then X-Rated title shot. I somehow had just enought to win that match and from that night forward, I made a name from myself. I was on the lowest of lowest on cards to now is one of the top guys within the WFWF. That is just awesome because my name gets spoke of in the same sentence with ZMaster, Josh, and god forbid Justa Mazing. I'm not taking nothing away from the guys like Obo, Shadow, and CBT. Its just something to be that biog somewhere.



The guys across the way are throwing the old pigskin to each other in a friendly game of football. Some has the Eagles on, others have the Bills, Steelers, Giants, Cowboys and so much more. Its a diversity as how do those guys get along when they are so different. Yukio looks at then and starts to focus as the ball snaps, the quarterback throws it to the receiver, but is taking down by the defense man. Thats something.



Flashback

Earlier this year, say Yukio Blaze vs Thunder in the Hammerstein Ballroom. This was right before the Forever Unscarred pay-per-view. Both men went in with it all on the line, but there was a spark in that arena that was so real, that neither man could forget it. Thunder was getting cheered by the crowd and Yukio was getting the brunt of all the boos. It wasnt because of the wrestling style, it was just because of the diversity of the crowd that night. It was a role reversal, but in the end saw Yukio apply the Anaconda Vise to Thunder and Thunder had nothing else to do, but tap out. The crowd still booed from that, but Yukio say it as a turning point.



Those guys over there represent why its so different, to be different. They are all total opposites, but they all mean something. Its like this for example, the last Mayor of this City was Rudy Giuliani. He was Americas mayor because of all the good deeds that he did towards the end of his tenure, but in the beginning he was surrounded by controversy. The current Mayor, Bloomburg has all the controversy that any man can have. He succeeded Giuliani, but he gained some glory when he took over. I see that in Me and Thunder. I dont know why, buts its the truth. We both have had our fair share of controversy in the WFWF, let it be Thunder turning on Percy and Obo, me not getting big wins under my belt, Thunder winning the Survival Of The Fittest match, or me now getting what could be my last chance at the strap that is around his waist.



Flashback

Survival Of The Fittest 2007 was a defining night because everything that the critics said would happen, didnt happen. McGurk beating Obo, Blaze winning the gold, and Deville being the Fittest, all of those didnt happen. It was a night of surprises, but the night after the event, everyone got some revenge. Deville giving Thunder a sick Spinebuster in the ring and getting the one two three, McGurk and Blaze acted like a team and straight up defeated both Shadow and CBT on the very last Felo De Se. Nights like that can change the future, but its right back to another as the un-ending saga with Blaze vs Axis is still on, but the ramifications are bigger



The guys are still playing football over there, but now Yukio picks up his paper and starts to flip through it. He sees that North Korea has decided on disarming Nuclear weapons, Hillary Clinton winning in the polls of who is set to become the next President. Yukio then sees that the Chicago Cubs are the odds on favorites to win this years World Series. The business section shows what are going to be the hot toys for Christmas, like Guitar Hero 3 and that god awful Cookie Monster Xtreme. Yukio then flips to a couple more pages and then stops at the Horoscope page. He moves his eyes around until he sees his and it states.[/center]



"Taurus Daily Overview for October 05, 2007,

Quickie:
Be mindful of your role in every conversation. Try to be a force for mutual respect.

Overview:
It's up to you to settle that little feud that has been brewing between coworkers or family members. You've got the level head and sense of fairness required to get everyone to agree to the same deal.

Yukio closes the paper and folds it back up nicely. Yukio then places the paper back to the side of him, but when he does it, a lone yellow finch lands on it. The bird chirps and chirps and then flies off into the sky. Yukio shakes his head and then looks to the ground.



That Horoscope is no damn fitting because thats whats going around at the moment. I cant get nothing off by brain as the only thing that is staying on there is the mess with Thunder, my last chance, why didnt I get the job done at Survival Of The Fittest and so on. I cant get nothing done right because everything screws up. Back in April, I wanted to be the one to silence Burton in the WFWF Tag Team Title match, but I was only able to get a hold of Thunder and emerge victorious with both tag team titles. I wanted to prove EBR wrong and defeat him a few months later, but he brought CBT with him and stole what was mine. It was complete BS, but I couldnt get even with him as I couldnt contend for the titles anymore as I could not find a partner and now I'm in the same spot again, but is guaranteed something If I lose. See Thunder doesnt care if he loses because he gets the World Title shot at Scars and Stripes. It would just look very good if he faced Obo as the International Champion. Thunder just wants to see me go down and laugh in my face. I cant take that because I'm going to show off a year and a half worth of anger, aggression, and just straight up rage. Thunder was partly responsible for me starting drinking again and he has no clue how it felt to look down a empty bottle or bottles every night. It is something that I've calmed down at the moment, but I dont know what would happen if I didnt win this week. I'm not trying to be a grand slam winner or trying to main event every night, all I'm looking forward to is having something that I worked so hard for, that a 100 men would congratulate me on. It goes back to who is the better man in this match Thunder and you know damn good and well who it is. It isnt you, if you can take the hint. you won the title because Josh Dean didnt have his heart in the game and your going to lose the title on the only thing that brings you to your knees, wealth. It overcomes you, but not me. It comes down to the "Once Again" status between the both of us and it will stop on the first ever Loaded.



Yukio brings his head up and all of a sudden, the sun is blocked by something and a object flies at Yukio, bouncing off his nose. He puts both of his hands over his nose, takes then away and sees no blood, but the football guys comes rushing over to check on Blaze. The guys starts to talk to Blaze in a strong New York accent



Eagles Guy: You alright man. I didnt mean to beam you in nose with the ball. Our wide receiver is a complete douchebag if you know what I mean.


No problem man. No blood, no beatdown. I take harder blows to the face at the work place.


Eagles Guy: Alright, alright. Hey, would you like to play with us. We need a extra man anyways.


Under the sole condition of just think of me wearing a Lions Jersey. I think there going to take it home this year


Eagles Guy: Alright then, but your just talking out of your ass, the Eagles are taking it this year....



Yukio gets up from the bench as him and the Eagles fan discuss football statistics. Yukio tosses him the ball as they get into position and that yellow finch comes back around, flying around them and eventually flying towards the top of one of the office building. The sun glares down on Yukio and they guys playing football as the wind starts to blow, once again. The city is still moving, even if Yukio is doing nothing. It truly, never sleeps.



Flash Forward

Sometime in December, in 2007 at Superbrawl V, is Yukio coming down the ramp with the International title around his waist, with 50,000 plus people cheering him on. He takes it all in because this could be his last Superbrawl ever. He looks up the ramp and a familiar theme song blast across the speakers as out on the ramp is a 2007 WFWF Hall Of Fame inductee and someone that Yukio.........




I think Yukio has it in him to show off all that he has against Thunder one more time. Time after time the odds have been stacked against him, but he should be able to put of one hell of a effort. I dony think you will need luck, but you may just need something else if you dont get the job done.

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“Life is very short and there's no time, for fussing and fighting my friend. I have always thought that it's a crime, so I will ask you once again: try to see it my way, only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong. While you see it your way, there's a chance that we might fall apart before too long. We can work it out.” - The Beatles


“I'm just deeply disappointed that once again we may have to settle for the lesser of two evils.” - Howard Dean[/i][/center]

[sonstuds]

I think this is a step back from what you've done the past two weeks. You tend to always do the opening description the exact same way. You tell us what city you're in, have a few lines about what other people are doing, then you'll mention where Yukio is sitting, all without ever actually explaining the setting. Not to mention it seems you're always doing roleplays on a bench.

It just seems like you do the "recap of his career" far too much, to the point it's not effective at all anymore.

As I said to Horror, when you do a monologue you need to keep it centered and not all over the place. He starts off talking about New York, kind of turns that into his history in wrestling in New York, but then it just becomes a standard promo on Thunder. Not to mention all the random description breaks you have, whether it be the people playing football or the bird.

And lastly, the horoscope was a fine idea, but then you took away the real effectiveness by immediately jumping in and telling us how it applies to Blaze. Let us draw that conclusion ourselves, or at least be subtle about it.

As I'm sure I've said before, just try and let things develop, instead of throwing every idea into one roleplay. It just comes off too jumbled.

[Calvin]

Ok, I think I finally got to get to the bottom of this new style.

First of all, the red text. Why do you every week recap what happened the week before? It seriously isn't needed, because you go on in the rp itself the exact same thing. That Yukio lost and this week he wants revenge. It is kinda pointless to recap it everyweek, and honestly, it kinda gets slightly boring reading things twice.

You're opening description is literally ALL NYC stereotypes. Not once did you describe the ACTUAL scene. You described the atmosphere of New York, but not the scene itself. You really gotta get right into the setting. It just comes off as filler to me.

You're first paragraph of speech is basically a history lesson. You go on about how you love the place. You never really resemble a theme, or go into anything, but that you love the place. Is it really needed to say WHY you love it. Just say you love it, and move on. Unless you are wanting to relate that to your theme, which I didnt' see.

The first flashback explains basically what I just said up there. You explain just why you love the place. YOu had your first match here. Ok cool, so what? What does that have to do with anything? All it says is you started your career here. You need to relate more to a theme and less of your career. Your speech explains the flashback, but it all just comes off as another history lesson.

Then some more filler. You start to explain a random football game going on. I honestly don't even know what you are saying with this.:

Some has the Eagles on, others have the Bills, Steelers, Giants, Cowboys and so much more.

Are you talking about jerseys? You never said "they are wearing jerseys." It's confusing.

FINALLY, you get into Thunder. You flash back to a match earlier this year. Where Yukio won. I think this is the FIRST bit of the rp that really helps the rp to be honest. And then you go into yet another history lesson with your speech following. You don't even go into the flashback at all. You go into the FOOTBALL game. You just got into something good, and you totally ignore it. Then after the lesson, you try to relate it to you and Thunder. I dont' exactly get how they are connected, but you say they are. You even say yourself "I don't know why..but it's true." EXPLAIN! Don't leave us with curiousity over something you are trying to PROVE to us.

Another flashback, SOTF. Ok, here you once again, have something that us usable. You go into pointless info about Wayne and Obo, but the whole Thunder and Yukio situations kinda work. Then you suddenly go into FDS. I dunno how both can be in one flashback, but you did it.

Then once again, you go BACK to this football game. This is the second time in the rp you ignored your flashback, and went into this pointless game. You never even get into the flashback this time. YOu go into thi news paper.

The paper once again, explains filler. News no one cares about. Just get to the point. Horoscope. So He reads a horoscope. Closes it up and puts it away. Then he goes into it for a few seconds, and goes into EBR and CBT. I didnt' even know he still had beef with EBR. Then you go to Thunder, saying hes' the reason you drink...or something. Then you go into the usual "grr I will win this week" saying and even go to basically saying "I'll get super pissed drunk if I lose." That's seriously all I got out of your last paragraph of speech.

Ok so you finally finish your big speech, and suddenly you get involved in this football game. For whatever reason I really dont' know. It really adds ntohing to the rp. Just that he plays football. Then you do a flash forward..what the hell is that? Is it suppose to be a dream of his?

Ok, I'm done. Basically, there isn't really much to this rp that well, does much. Most of it is well filler. And it's all over the place. And when you do start to get onto something, you ruin it by adding more filler. Get rid of all thsi filler. Random football games really aren't goign to help you get your point across. Explain just why you love New York city isnt' going to get your point across, well except that you well, love New York City. You never really get a theme going except I lost last week and will win this week, and if not I'm gonna drink myself silly.

I haven't fully read any of your rps. And no I didnt' read your quotes. I never do anything, they really don't do much for the rp anyways. They used to explain what your theme would be, but they dont' realy do that anymore. And if they do, you dont' really stay on topic anyways.

ps, I was trying to keep my typos down with this reply, but I got lazy..hah. I know this reply is long, but I really think this is needed to be said.

[CBT]

I lean towards E and Lee on this one, without coming off like a total dick, this RP just dragged. It had no flow and I almost feel like saying, I'd rather read the comments had I known the way it'd be.

I think your speech, while very intentful, needs to be rehauled. You never seem to come off like you're speaking from the heart, not to say you lack passion, but it's always kind of forcing a point. Sometimes I think you probably should reread it and see what's extravagantly placed in there; your dialogue covers all to much and loses value with how the point is dragged on.

Your quotes now close RPs? Maybe I hadn't noticed, but that almost seems to much for an RP. I mean I can see a monologue opening and closing, or dialogue, but a quote needs to have a firm connection. I just didn't get that, though the shadows quote was unintentionally well scouted.

Hmm... I really didn't have alot of focuse time to read stuff, but in the case here I'm like a new guy. I see a lengthy roleplay, that looks like it has not top because it has no bottom. You really gotta cutdown on your speech, or faze it in and out in limited quanities.

Other than that, the flashbacks or however it's been achieved to be, is really coming off like a dole idea. I'd like to walk into a roleplay and feel like there's been attempt to change, even after success. This just comes off to me like another Blaze match.


And no offense, this is more in a kidding sense, you're coming off less like Punk and more like Cena.