Thunder
Main Eventer
WF 10 Year Member
WFWF Record: 59-60-1
Joined on: Aug 6, 2003 9:44:07 GMT -5
Posts: 2,941
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Post by Thunder on Sept 22, 2007 16:00:42 GMT -5
Certainly not as good as last week, but there's a lot of stuff I need to do this week, so I wanted to get this done fairly early so I would be able to finish it. Overall, I still think it's a pretty good continuation of my story.
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Post by sonstuds on Sept 23, 2007 10:44:13 GMT -5
I love how Robert's mind set borders on Jack Torrance's.
My only complaints were the "He had rid himself of the woman he hated (or at least thought he had, which was also true for Michael)" line. Seemed kind of unnecessary to me. The other would be when Robert finds out he didn't kill Ann. The sequence probably could have been longer and more drawn out to really get a feel for what he was thinking.
Good job overall. *thumbs up*
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Post by Markw on Sept 23, 2007 10:48:03 GMT -5
Ok just read this RP really nice Thunder I liked the opening description (I'm not as picky as EBR I have no complaints  ) really nice RP and good luck to you in your match |
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Post by Kurt Burton: Script Doctor! on Sept 25, 2007 20:39:06 GMT -5
Overall, I liked, a few times it got repetetive, talking about the crazy guy, the crazy guy... we get it he's crazy.
And I think he is crazy enough just from his actions, I don't think I need to be told.
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