SB RP : The time has come

[ICW]

In New York baseball, there is only one team to root for. One team that can guarantee you that they will be in the hunt for the World Series title. One team who seems to make the playoffs every year. This team is elite. The players are elite. The fans are elite. This is the New York Yankees. Only the best players will survive. If you fail or falter, you will get kicked out. The fans and the players care about winning. We will not settle for being second best. We MUST win. Then there is that “other New York Team.” They aren’t winners. They haven’t won anything in years. Just a bunch of losers, getting all the fans hopes up that maybe, JUST maybe, they will finally win the big one. But they won’t. They are not elite. This is the New York Mets. Our scene reveals a large blue circular stadium that reads “Shea” in bright orange letters. Shea Stadium. The last team to win a World Series in that stadium wasn’t even the Mets. It was the Yankees. Our cameras then reveal a man standing in the empty parking lot. His back is turned to the stadium. The man is wearing a Yankees jersey, this time the back of the jersey has the number “53” on it. The man is wearing a white and black bandana. He is also wearing baggy jeans and some noticeably new white sneakers. This man is the Bronx Bomber.

Bronx Bomber: Shea Stadium. Home of the New York Mets. The Mets. One of the worst baseball franchises in recent memory. They haven’t won a World Series in years. They are not winners. They don’t have the heart that the Yankees do. They don’t compete with the Yankees. The Yankees are winners. I was thinking about this earlier and something came to my head. You see I am like the Yankees. I want to win. I crave to win. Then my opponents, they’re just like the lousy Mets. They don’t care about winning. They don’t have heart. They don’t have what it takes to beat me. Same thing between the Yankees and the Mets. I am a winner. I don’t fall under pressure. I have heart. I want to go out there and win. I don’t give a **** who I am facing because I guarantee you I will try my hardest to win. All you fans who boo me, you know you want to cheer me soooooooo bad. It’s like the Met fans. They want to cheer for the Yankees soooooooo bad but they won’t. The will pretend to love the Mets forever. But I know you fans want to cheer me. I am to good for you to boo.

Bomber then spits on the ground, leaving a puddle of his saliva on the ground. Bomber then begins to crack his knuckles. His eyes look focus. He looks like he is ready to go out there and KILL someone. He will do it. He knows in his mind that this match isn’t just any normal match in any normal event. He knows that he MUST give it his all. He knows that he MUST win. He isn’t afraid but rather anxious to get into that ring and beat someone’s ass.

Bronx Bomber: SuperBrawl IV. One of the biggest events in wrestling. And I have to face seven other men and defend my Internet Title. One man I have to face is Miguel Sanchez. Miguel you talk about not wanting to be known as “that Mexican guy on TV” but lets face it buddy… you are exactly that. Who the hell knows who you are? Nobody. Hell nobody cares who you are. You are a nobody. You step into that ring with me and you will die. I will make you bleed a river of blood. I will make you get on your dirty knees and beg for mercy. Tears will be flowing from you eyes and you just want to get out of the ring and go back to Mexico and wear a sombrero or whatever your Mexican crazed mind desires.

Bomber them makes a face as if he is remembering something. Something like a great memory. Something so good that makes a smile form on his face. Bomber then lets out a small chuckle. Bomber’s face then becomes once again dead serious. His face is focused and angry.

Bronx Bomber: Then there is Tony “The Dragon.” He’s nothing more then a little girl. He might as well wear a dress to the ring because I don’t even consider him a competitor. Then there is some other f**kers I don’t know. Like some dudes named Nick Poffo, Brady Bomb, Chris Sanchez, and Nick Cash. Who are you guys? What the f**k have you done to deserve to step into the ring with me? You guys have no idea who the f**k you are dealing with. I will tare you apart limb to limb. I am going to massacre each and every one of you. All of you are easy to defeat. In a blink of an eye, you four will be scattered all over the arena, bleeding from every part of your bodies. It’s not going to be a pretty picture. It’s going to be brutal. So brutal that the people in the crowd are going to cover the beady little eyes in fear of what they are witnessing. Hell even they will be crying like a baby. And I will... laugh.

Bomber then paces around the parking lot. He turns around and looks at Shea Stadium. Bomber has a disgusted look on his face as if he is looking at something repulsive. Something so disgusting that he will throw up. Hell the orange and blue don’t really go. It would make anyone throw up. Bomber then turns his back to the stadium.

Bronx Bomber: Then there is Thunder. The rich, cocky son of a bitch. Thunder you could be a cocky as you want. You could be as arrogant as you desire. But it won’t save you from the total ass kicking you will get. I mean damn are you gonna get a beating. The beating of your life. Your money can’t save you. No one can. Thunder, I have a question for ya. Do you have the guts? Do you have the guts to step into the ring with me. And if you do and get the biggest ass kicking in your life, I have another question for ya. Was it worth it? Was it worth it for you to step into the ring and get the biggest ass beating of your life? I think not. So I hope all seven of you are ready. Ready to bleed. Ready to sweet. Ready to get an ass kicking. Ready to die. Because when the match is over, only one man will walk out with the Internet title. One man will be victorious. That man is me. The mother f**king Bronx Bomber.

Bomber then stares deep into the warm New York sky. He is ready. He is focused. He is ready to win. Just like the New York Yankees. And his opponents know they will lose. And when they lose, no one will care for them. They are just like the New York Mets.

[cureforthesickness]

a pretty good roleplay. The opening description covered things pretty well, but possibly could have covered it a bit better. The way you open your roleplays has always perplexed me. You seem to mix "charecter thoughts" with description. This isn't really a problem, just something that sets you apart.

You suffered from a problem many, myself included, have suffered from. In multi person matches, especially an 8 man, like your's, people seem to just run through a list of opponents. The three "well known" opponents in this match, you didn't suffer this problem with, but the four unknowns you did. My suggestion for handling unknowns in multi-person matches like this is to not handle them. Just ignore them, focus solely on the people you know. I also wish you would have focused more on Tony the Dragon, considering the history you have with Tony..

[sonstuds]

Being a sports fan, I liked the general premise of the roleplay. I just think the problem is that instead of drawing comparisions between the Mets and your opponents, you just kind of left it as "The Mets suck and so do my opponents". That's just too simple. You could have done that with any bad MLB team. What I thought would have been interesting would have to talked about how like the Mets your opponents have an opportunity for greatness (winning the Internet Title, the Mets possibly winning the National League), but how both will ultimately fail, then bring up examples of the Mets doing it in the past. Something along those lines, only a lot better sounding then what I just put.

It was still pretty good, but I think you missed the chance to make it really creative.

[Calvin]

This rp was good, but I agree with EBR.

The description was pretty good. I liked the opening. It gave a theme, but I think you could have gone further into depth with the theme. You have what it takes, you just have to dig deeper into your themes and bring out that missing part that would make your rps great.

Speech was good. I liked the anger and aggression shown. You character sounds really intense which is always a good trait for your character.

Like I said, it was good...but if you just try to dig a little deeper, you can turn a rp like this from good to great.

[ZMaster]

How interesting. Using a bad team to compare them to your opponents could be a little deeper. I'd go with EBR's suggestion on that for next time. I did like how you compared yourself to the Yankees, I have to admit that was interesting. I like sports as well.

You're showing why you got a championship, good luck in this Battle Royal.

It was good I will say that.

[Kurt Burton: Script Doctor!]

Bomber, this is a good one. A definate improvement over your previous rp's. I would have to say the sports thing works for your character. Me, I'm not much of a sports fan, so I didn't dig it that much. But your structure was good, and I liked the one by one thrashing of your opponents.

[tobeornottobe]

I bet that you are just exstatic over the Yank's sweeep over the Red Sox , but in all seriousness, this was a really good rp. I get a really dark feeling when reading your speech. Yo are really establishing yourself as quite the heel here. Your destription was decent, but you could have gone farther with it. Good rp though. Good luck in our match!

[Mr. PerpetuaLynch Motion]

This was a pretty good RP... I haven't read much of your stuff but the stuff I have read is pretty good. The whole comparisson of you to the Yanks and your opponents to the Mets was pretty good and the whole sports symbolism in this RP worked wonderfully. Your description is fairly good for being fairly new around here and your dialogue is alright as well although I felt at times, the speach got a little bit bland and boring. Try to be a little more livlier and colorful with your words. Don't go "Then there is" at the beginning of every paragraph when you are talking about 2 or more other opponents. Over all I felt this was pretty good and I think you have a good shot at winning your match at Superbrawl. Good luck

[Revvie®]

This rp wasnt to bad, it was pretty balanced. I think the speech was descent and the description was descent as well. I think you are getting better and in time you will be really great b/c your showing quick improvement. Well good job and good luck in your match!

Rev.

[Kyzer]

I can't tell you anything that others haven't already told you. But I have to say I love the Yankees. Trashing the Mets was great. If you could trash the red soxs too this would have been perfect.