Post by King Richius on Mar 15, 2018 14:05:43 GMT -5
The Hickenbottom Report
WFWF.COM is posting this transcript from The Hickenbottom report for your entertainment.
WFWF.COM is posting this transcript from The Hickenbottom report for your entertainment.
Mike Hickenbottom: Welcome back folks to the podcast. It’s time for our version of the State of the WFWF. Joining me in the studio is Danny Thompson. Say hi to the listeners Danny.
Danny Thompson: Hi listeners.
Mike: So let’s get to the elephant in the room. Back to Basics was supposed to be Frank Lynn’s big night… the revolution’s big night. A celebration of the purity of the sport. Instead, we got the bloodiest WFWF event since SuperBrawl IX ended with one man getting skewered by his own sword and they needed a spatula to scrape what remained of World HeavyWeight Champion Drakz off the floor.
Danny: Too true Mike. Anna Ahriman, Trace Demon, Joe Bishop, and David Brennan were all victims of vicious attacks. I still can’t believe I said Trace Demon’s name on that list. He usually causes the chaos. You can’t tell me that at least a small part of you enjoyed the fall of the King of Demons?
Mike: It was a freakin’ bloodbath… from start to finish. I enjoy seeing Trace Demon lose, not seeing his head treated like a watermelon at a Gallagher show. Back to Basics was not the show Frank Lynn promised us. Personally, I don’t derive much enjoyment from watching careers ended right in front of my eyes. Ante Whitner’s future is in doubt, Anna Ahriman's future is in doubt, Demon and Bishop are almost certainly done for a long time, and the Champ is more susceptible than ever considering he has a broken face.
Danny: The WFWF has never been a shining example of sports combat. You want clean fights you should watch more MMA shows. The WFWF is about entertainment and Back to Basics was certainly entertaining.
Mike: If you’re into murder porn! Are you?
Danny: It’s not murder porn. Nobody died. Get your facts straight.
Mike: WHAT? You know what I meant! Trace Demon may be breathing but how do we know he isn’t brain dead? You can’t seriously consider that entertainment!
Danny: I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. I can’t stop talking about it. That makes it more entertaining than the last Star Wars flick.
Mike: Wow… I had no idea you were such a sick freak. Let me guess, this means you don’t have a problem with what Frank Lynn did. How he abused his GM for a day powers, stole the Golden Opportunity from Ante Whitner by baiting him into a match, how he changed the rules mid-show so he could cash it without the one week warning, and how he planted his knee into Brennan’s broken face to steal the International Championship.
Danny: Why should I have a problem with it? He didn’t bait Whitner. Whitner attacked the GM unprovoked. What would you expect the GM to do? I was cheering for Frank all the way.
Mike: But what about the cash in on an injured David Brennan at the end of the show?
Danny: I was cheering for Frank louder than anybody else. He’s been talking a lot of sh*t since arriving but he’s also been doing just as much whining: “I earned a title shot… waaaah… Schneider stopped me from getting my shot… waaaah… I should be #1 contender, not Kyzer… waaaah waaaah waaaah!” He finally stopped whining and took charge. Bravo! Kudos to Frank Lynn.
Mike: He turned his back on the revolution. He is a Judas. A traitor. A con man who used the revolution to his own personal advantage and then abandoned it in favor of the International title.
Danny: You make it sound like he slapped yo’ mama and slept with your wife while making you watch.
Mike: I believed in the revolution. I believed in Frank Lynn. He let all the revolutionaries down. He doesn’t even have the decency to tell us why? Nothing but silence from his camp as he prepares for Mak Cross at New Day Rising. Tell us why Frank, why?
Danny: He doesn’t owe you an explanation. Frank Lynn is a champion. He has lived up to the hype and praise you so lavishly dumped on him for the past year. You should be happy for him. He has learned how to get things done in the WFWF - just like Brennan riding a dozen tall boys to his titles or Drakz getting Trace Demon and Lucas Crowe to run interference in his title matches. He is a true WFWF superstar now.
Mike: I beg to differ. And so do the hundreds of revolutionaries who tore off their “Join the revolution!” t-shirts and burned them in the parking lot after the show. He is a Judas.
Danny: You want some cheese with your whine?
Mike: Okay, I see we are getting no where. Let’s leave it to the listener comments to decide: is Frank Lynn a piece of sh*t? Yes or no. Let us know what you think.
Danny: Nope.
Mike: Yes he is. Now, before a fight breaks out right here on our set, let’s talk about something else: all the new faces we’ll be seeing at New Day Rising. Rookies like Hamilton K. Clarke, Lazer, Jayson Sikes, and Tyler Draven along with a few guys we haven’t seen in quite some time: Brandon Bison, Trevor Wolf, and Mak Cross.
Danny: It’s about time we got some new faces. The WFWF roster has been both stagnant and shrinking the past year. The WFWF needs all of these new and returning guys to step up in a big way. Brennan and Lynn can only do so much without quality opponents.
Mike: For once we agree. I can’t wait to see who will step up to challenge for Frank’s ill-gotten International Championship and who will pick up the pieces after Brennan-Kyzer happens for the World Heavyweight Championship.
Danny: It’s not as much fun when we agree. What’s next on the create a controversy list?
Mike: Can we talk about the WFWF Hall of Fame?
Danny: Nope. Not touching that one with a ten foot pole.
Mike: Then how about our semi-regular TOP TEN WFWF Wrestlers list? We haven’t done one in ages and that always gets a rise out of people.
Danny: Sounds good. It’s your list so lay it on me and I’ll tell you why you’re wrong.
Mike: Okay, my top ten list is:
1 Frank Lynn
2 David Brennan
3 Michael Kyzer
Danny: What about four through ten?
Mike: How am I supposed to rank Joe Bishop, Trace Demon, Anna Ahriman, Drakz… There is no one else. Just one, two, and three.
Danny: And you didn’t rank the World Heavyweight Champion number one? That’s so unlike you.
Mike: I may not like it but I have to give it to Frank Lynn. From a wins and losses perspective he has been the best in the WFWF recently. He won three matches in a single night - the second time he’s done that as he also beat three opponents at International Assault - won two titles, has wins over Trace Demon and Kyzer, technically he beat David f’n Brennan… he’s on fire. He’s number one.
Danny: I thought this was supposed to be controversial. I agree with you again. I can hear the listeners switching to Mel Seltzer's podcast by the hundreds. I hear he is defending his six star rating of the Kyzer vs Lynn match. Oh well, another reason to look forward to New Day Rising. You’ll have some new names to put on your top ten list.
Mike: True dat! And I see from the clock on the wall that we are out of time. I’m Mike Hickenbottom…
Danny: I’m Danny Thompson…
Mike: …and this has been the Hickenbottom report.
NOTE: I wanted to do a new top ten list but didn't have enough names to fill it up so I threw this together instead.