Age of Consent: A Penny Shannon RP
Jul 23, 2014 15:59:10 GMT -5
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Post by veronicaaaahhhh on Jul 23, 2014 15:59:10 GMT -5
Age of Consent
A Penny Shannon RP
“You’d think I’d be a little stoned.”
“You’re not stoned.”
“I’ve only had half a joint.”
“And?”
“I’m good…”, Penny snapped after a beat. “Damn it Celeste! Stop distracting me!”
Penny rolled her eyes and let herself fall back into the loving grace of the softest, warmest, and most f*ck-worthy bed in the history of beds.
Penny blinked for a moment and looked up at the tapestry of shawls and blankets that made the tent that covered most of her bed.
She had a really pretty room.
Penny reached out for the roach she was smokin’ earlier and lit it, puffing away as she tried to gather herself from her thoughts.
“My room.”
“What about your room?”, Celeste asked, peeking through the shades as she slipped into the tent, fluttering before Penny now.
“It’s too pretty.”, Penny replied, exhaling as she pulled the joint away from her lips. “I need something nasty.”
“A men’s restroom in a truck stop?”
“I said ‘nasty’ not ‘filthy’.”, Penny took another hit. “Like, you know how wrestling’s become so 
ing big and over-produced?”
ing big and over-produced?”“Yeah?”
Penny took another hit, a quick one this time. “I hate that stuff. Like, I totally miss those old-time wrestling shows where things looked so incredibly seedy that of course you’d have a bunch of scum bags beating the living crap out of each other. Wrestler’s today are too nice.”
“Isn’t that a good thing?”
“Meh.” Penny shrugged. “It kinda depends on the situation.”
“So, what about it?”
“I miss the kind of wrestling you stayed up late for- it was like you were in on what the grown-ups were watching and even though it’s a bit shallow, it’s what made it so incredibly cool at the same time.”
There wasn’t much left on the roach, save for a couple of good hits. Penny traced the roach along her fingers and gazed at it; it looked like she was actually thinking for once.
“I love wrestling.”, Penny began, taking a nice, clean drag. “… But it just sucks so hard when the very thing that you love most in the world ing decides to take it upon itself and with you.
ing decides to take it upon itself and with you. There are good people, don’t get me wrong. And there’s a lotta people out there who wrestle with far cleaner intentions than mine- but even then, it puts you into a corner and you give in and give in and give in, until it takes sooo much out of you, that you can’t tell whether you should stand still or fight back.
I love wrestling, but sometimes, I just wanna scream, ‘ Wrestling!”… wrestling- it can make me so miserable that I started to even wonder why I even liked it in the first place.
Wrestling!”… wrestling- it can make me so miserable that I started to even wonder why I even liked it in the first place..”Celeste caught the swell beneath Penny’s eyes, the change in her tone and demeanor; the crack in her voice as she let out that one single once of brutal honesty, the way she held her arms together- holding on to whatever she had left of her armor.
“Penny?”, Celeste asked, fluttering closer.
Penny let out her hand. “I’m good.”
“B-But?”
“Don’t be a bitch, let me finish.”
Celeste closed her eyes and nodded.
Penny took the last hit of the joint, really pulling in all she could. She wanted a big hit- something that would just cut her down in the middle of a toke and spit her lungs open so hard that she coughs like a m*therf*cker.
“I think about this so much and even though there’s all kinds of things I’d like to do- like I don’t know, winning a title might be nice- but even with all that, I think about this so much that I just stop and wonder what the point it is to all this that I end up not doing anything when I could just spend that same amount of time being the most awesome version of myself I can be.”
Penny took one last hit off the roach and stubbed it over her Silversun Pickups ashtray.
“I’ve wasted so much time standing behind the shadows, putting myself before people that when it was my time to step up to plate and do something about it, I just buckled under the pressure and took the easiest way out I could find. Time after time, they’ve given me the ball and time after time, I just drop it… And it isn’t like I don’t wanna catch it, because girl, you among everyone else ought’a know just how much I want it. But it all goes back to what the Joker said in The Dark Knight?”
Penny let herself fall back on the mattress; the back of her head falling perfectly over that one sweet spot on the pillow you’d spend too much time trying to find while you were falling asleep.
“You know.”, Penny shrugged. “About how he was the kind of dog that wouldn’t bring back the ball because he was just so excited to have it that he just wouldn’t know what to do with himself?”
“Yeah, I think I know what you’re talking about.”, Celeste replied
“Well, that’s me. I’m just so excited to finally have what I want that I just don’t know what to do with myself when they give it to me that I end up ing it all up. I don’t want to do that anymore, but should I care, right? Ain’t like they’re booking me or anything.”
ing it all up. I don’t want to do that anymore, but should I care, right? Ain’t like they’re booking me or anything.”Penny rolled her eyes and sighed. “I just think it’s time…”
“What are you saying?”
“I don’t want to, like I really don’t want to… But I think,”
“…”
“…”
“… Go on?”
“… I think I have to grow u-”
Penny’s phone rang. Her ringtone this week was the opening riff to Lez Zeppelin’s cover of “Whole Lotta Love”.
“ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME?!”
“Shhhhhh!”, Penny hissed as she slid the screen to accept the call. “Hey gurl, how you doin’ tonight?”
Celeste Cuddlepunk couldn’t take it anymore! Having had enough of all the distractions that have kept Penny away from that one single thought that make her realize she was so much more than she could ever admit to being, the Weed Pixie sprung forward and dropkicked the iPhone from Penny’s hand.
“The ?!”
?!”Celeste slapped Penny across the face and grabbed her by the collar of her hoodie. “I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! YOU ARE SO AGONIZINGLY CLOSE!”
“To what?!”
“Owning up to yourself and admitting that maybe it’s time for you to grow up a little?!”
“ that.”, Penny shot back. “Look, I love you and I totally appreciate what you do for me, trying to help me out and everything. But seriously, why can’t you just leave me alone and make me come around when I’m good and ready. It’s like I have to grow up before you can be happy with anything about me.”
that.”, Penny shot back. “Look, I love you and I totally appreciate what you do for me, trying to help me out and everything. But seriously, why can’t you just leave me alone and make me come around when I’m good and ready. It’s like I have to grow up before you can be happy with anything about me.”“Penny, please understand.”, Celeste began as she fluttered closer. “It’s for your own good.”
“But what good is any of that if all it does is annoy me? Yeah, I know. I can be a little bit stubborn and bullheaded, and maybe sometimes I should step up and I will. But that’s not growing up.”
Penny rolled her eyes and sighed, chuckling lightly.
“You want me to grow up, but I don’t wanna do that. Because the moment I do, is the moment I can kiss my ass goodbye to everything I’ve done in my life. Every word I’ve said, every single decision I ever made was done in spite of growing up.”
“What’s so bad about growing up?”
Penny took another deep breath; this time, as she ran her hands over head. Swinging her hair to the side, Penny allowed it to fall just right above her shoulder, scratching her hair now.
“I don’t know how to even say it.”
“Just say it!”, Celeste shot out as she tip-toed over the screen of Penny’s phone to close the call.
“… I like me, I like being me. And I don’t want to stop being me, but I’d also like to be a more functional of version of me, if that makes sense?”
“It doesn’t, but I guess it’s going to have to do.”
“Awesome.”, Penny nodded as she reached out and yanked her phone from underneath Celeste, causing the Weed Pixie to lose her balance a little. “Can I call this girl back now?”
“I’ll be watching you.”, Celeste muttered before poofing away in a ball of purple pixie dust.
A grin crept across Penny’s face as she let her back gently fall down to the mattress; her phone pressed against her ear, just waiting for the girl on the other end of the line pick up.
<***>
The moans coming from the girl who was riding on Penny’s lap was so loud, that you could have sworn the dead could have heard it and started whipping out their junk for a quick treat.
Her name was Sasha and she was a total looker; straight up one of the prettiest girls Penny could have ever laid her eyes on. She was that bookish-looking type of pretty girl that managed to get away with all kinds of crap because of how cute they were.
She was easy, after all, in an hour and a half into their “date”, they were inside a bathroom stall in some park; Sasha’s legs locked around both of Penny’s knees, while Penny held by the hair with one hand between her legs, just really giving it to her.
“OH… MY… GOD!”, Sasha cried out, really holding Penny tight now.
“Shhhh!”, Penny hissed.
“UNNNNNNNNNFFFF.”
Penny really wanted to keep on nibbling at her neck, but considering that it wasn’t that late out (10:30-ish, maybe 11:00PM at night?), Penny didn’t want anyone coming in here and interrupting her lovefest.
“MMMMMMMAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHmhnM”
… Yeah, this girl wasn’t going to be shutting up anything time soon. Penny figured was going to have to kick things into overdrive; quickly, Penny let her lips race back up Sasha’s neck, catching her lips right before another moan could escape.
… Two fingers inside now, really giving it to her so much that her hips started to buckle against Penny’s hand.
“That’s it.”, Penny hissed in between all the kissing. “Come on, girl.”
Here it was… Sasha’s body tensing as every fiber in her being coiled around Penny’s fingers, holding tight until, slowly, her body let go and relaxed.
“… WOW.”, Sasha sighed, blinking.
“Didj’a like that?”, Penny grinned.
“Wait.”, Sasha mouthed, leaned forward and let herself fall over Penny, breathing heavily. “I think I’m going to need to catch my breath.”
“Take your time, hun.”
It took her maybe a minute, minute and a half, until Sash had enough energy to get herself off Penny’s lap. She let herself lean against the stall door as she reached out for her jeans.
“Are you always this way?”
Penny lit a joint and leaned back on the seat, asking, “What way?”
“Talking straight girls into f*cking you in a public bathroom?”
“Hey.”, Penny shot out, blowing smoke from her lips. “I didn’t talk you into doing anything you already wanted to do.”
Sasha started to slip on her jeans. “Oh yeah?”
Penny took another toke and looked up at Sasha, turning her head a little. “Look at you. We both know how ing gorgeous you are. You could walk out that door right now and easily have any guy you want wrapped around your cute little fingers.”
ing gorgeous you are. You could walk out that door right now and easily have any guy you want wrapped around your cute little fingers.”Sasha zipped up her jeans and rolled her eyes.
“You’re the kind of girl who walks down the street and knows that. Not that you want the attention, but when it comes from the right looking strangers, you dig it… A lot.
Yeah, you can put up this whole act about how it doesn’t affect you and you can play cute, pretend that you don’t know, but you do and you’re at a point in your life where, you like, ‘ it, I’m just going to have some fun. No emotions, no messy complications, Just some straight up fun that I’m not going to have to worry about when I wake up tomorrow morning.’”
it, I’m just going to have some fun. No emotions, no messy complications, Just some straight up fun that I’m not going to have to worry about when I wake up tomorrow morning.’”“You think you’ve got me all figured out don’t you?”, Sasha asked, crossed her arms now, almost glaring at Penny.
Penny pulled the joint away from her lips and sighed, “You’re not the first straight girl I’ve ed in here.”
ed in here.”“You know what I think?”
“Is that a question?”
“Excuse me?”
“Well, instead of asking me what I think you’re thinking, how ‘bout you just tell me what you’re thinking about instead?”
Sasha turned away and opened the door. “You’re unbelievable!”
“That’s like the fifth time you’ve told me that in the last twenty minutes.”
Sasha turned her back to Penny and pointed her finger. “You can act as cool as you want, but in the end, you’re as bitter as all the other dykes who’ve lost their girls to a man.”
Ouch.
“So, don’t you dare pass guilt on me for having some fun and being a little promiscuous when you’re guilty of doing that yourself.”
And with that, Sasha turned on her heels and (tried to) walk away; her legs still a little sore from Penny’s handiwork.
Penny leaned back on the seat as she took the last clean hit off the joint, closing her eyes now as she filled her lungs with all the smoke it could take, and then some.
Penny held it in for a good while before she exhaled and dumped the roach into the toilet; moist smoke surrounding her like an aura.
Flushing the toilet, Penny pushed herself off the toilet seat and strolled over to the sink. She wasn’t in the best mood… To tell the truth, the whole thing with Sasha left her feeling kinda down and Penny couldn’t stand how crappy all this made her feel.
She turned on the faucet and started to wash out her face, hoping the cold water was going to do her at least a little good.
… But it didn’t.
Penny pulled her away from the sink and wiped her face dry with the sleeve of her hoodie.
Penny took another deep breath and looked into the mirror and instantly, she could see something change. The reflection of the restroom didn’t look like the one at the park she was in and instead, it looked like the one from the high school she went to, Doug Hopkins High.
The night light from behind the windows gave way into a clear morning sky.
Two teenage girls rushed inside, holding each other’s hand as they made a giggling beeline for the stalls. One of them had bright pink hair held up in pig-tails, she was wearing a hoodie.
The other girl had blonde hair with a fresh pixie cut. She was also wearing a hoodie and shorts underneath.
Now, Penny was used to seeing things kinda get trippy this way, but she just couldn’t believe what she was seeing that she actually had to blink and pinch her boob just to make sure she was looking at what she thought she was looking at.
“Oh my God, Penny! Someone’s going to catch us!”
“You didn’t have to follow me in here.”, Younger Penny said.
Ashley sighed with a soft grin. “But I wanted to follow you in here.”
Younger Penny stopped where she was and faced her girlfriend. “So you willingly followed me into this bathroom, knowing full well that I wasn’t coming here to use the toilet, let alone wash my hands?”
“Yup.”
“And that your presence here would probably inspire me to hold you tight and make out with you in one of the stalls.”
“Why else am I in here?”
Young Penny xD’d. “Just making sure!”
And with that, Young Penny grabbed her girlfriend’s hand and rushed her inside one of the stalls in the middle and got herself right into a well needed kissfest!
Penny watched them until they closed the stall door before she turned her head away and slipped herself back into the present.
She sighed again as an old feeling came lingering back to her lips…
“ this crap!”, Penny said, pushing herself away from the sink, and in the process, marching her sweet ass outta that stupid restroom!
this crap!”, Penny said, pushing herself away from the sink, and in the process, marching her sweet ass outta that stupid restroom! <***>
Ding… Ding…
There was no answer at the front door to Dean Manor… Well, there really wasn’t anything that manor-ly about the house, it was actually pretty normal… Front lawn, a porch, decent sized back yard right in the middle of suburbia. But having encountered the Dean’s once before, she decided that they entertained her, so there for she liked them.
Which, in her highly spazzed-out state, meant that she could bother them whenever she wanted!
Ding… Ding… Ding...
There was still no one answering the door.
Penny was getting frustrated.
“… I wonder if they’reing.”, Penny thought out loud, pressing her finger over her dimple on last time until she clicked the doorbell, sending the rings into overdrive.
Dingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingding…
“I’M COMING!”, that sounded like Josh.
And indeed it was him, rushing the door open with a blank state and a beer in his hand.
“Oh guess you two weren’ting afterall.”
“What?”
“Forget I said anything.”, Penny said, waving her hands as she sauntered inside.
“What’re you doing here, Penny?”
Penny turned back to the gracious host and replied, “I was nowhere near your neighborhood and I thought I’d drop by, ‘ya know? Chil, watch some movies, maybe smoke herb with you and missus.”
“First.”, Josh began, holding out his hand before Penny. “I quit dope years ago.”
“Blasphemy!”
“And second, I don’t think Nikki would appreciate drugs.”
“Hey, watch your language son. It’s an herb, not a drug.”
“You know what I mean and it’s still illegal in this state. I’m fine with it, but you know Nikki.”
“She’s a good girl.”, Penny sang. “Loves Jesus and her boyfriend too.”
“Cut it out.”, Josh playfully punched Penny on the arm and turned away. “Well, you’re here anyway. Can I get you a beer?”
“I don’t drink.”, Penny said, waving Josh off as he led her down the hallway. “But I’ll take some ‘pop if you’ve got some… That is what you people call it over here, right?”
Josh raised his eyebrows and went into the kitchen.
Penny took a left at the hallway and turned to the living room where she found Nikki already entertaining someone else.
The nerve of her!
“Nikki!”, Penny shot out as she marched to the living room. “Baby, how could you do this to me?”
“… What?”, Nikki said, blinking for a moment as she folded her arms together.
“I did everything you asked… I drove all night just to get here and what do I get for all my effort?”, Penny said, sobbing a little. “Your husband greets me at the door- your husband! And now, you’ve got-”
Penny let herself stop mid-sentence to look at the other person in the room, the dude sitting on the couch.
“-Dave Demento sitting in your couch?”, Penny raised her eyebrow and grinned at Nikki. “You minx!”
Nikki slapped Penny in the arm. “Knock it out!”
Penny winked at Nikki and let herself fall on the couch, shrugging, “Hey, you can’t blame a girl for tryin’.”
“It was well played.”
‘Thank youz’, Penny mouthed.
“Hi Penny.”, Dave said, holding up the hand that held his bottle of beer in some kind of macho gesture.
“Holy crap!”, Penny shot out, leaning close to Demento to take a good look at him. “What the hell happened to you?”
“Life.”, Demento replied, turning his head with a chuckle as he sipped his beer.
“It’s like looking at a totally different person!”, Penny shot out, getting uncomfortably closer to Demento now. “Man, you must’ve gotten in pretty bad.”
“People do that to you.”
“Oh yeah, you joined that cult! Tell me, did Solomon Crow ever have his way with you? Because it’s okay if he did and it’s okay if you enjoyed it, it all led you to be the man you are today!”
“You’re lucky you’re pretty, Penny.”, Demento cracked, rising from his spot from the couch to walk back to the kitchen.
Nikki motioned closer. “You alright, Penny?”
Penny smiled back at her. “I’m fine.”
Nikki took a seat on the edge of the coffee table and pressed her arms over her thighs as she leaned over and gave Penny the most motherly of smiles that it almost killed her attraction to her.
“You sure about that? You seem a little… I don’t know?”, Nikki said with a bop of her shoulder. “Wiggy.”
Penny chuckled her head and leaned back on the couch. “That’s what some Grade A Master Yoda and a six pack of Monster will do to ‘ya!”
“Been on a bender, huh?”
“… Maybe.”
“Penny?”
“Yeah.”, Penny shrugged. “Haven’t slept in like four days.”
“That’s sure a long time to go without sleeping.”
“Meh, I’ll survive.”
“What’s going on?”
“It’s stupid.”, Penny pouted as she shifted her eyes away.
Nikki took a seat on the couch next to Penny and wrapped her arm around her shoulder. “It’s okay to talk about it sweetie.”
Penny looked at her and opened her mouth to say something, but turned her head.
Nikki pulled Penny gently by the side of her neck and reeled her in for a nice, warm hug; pressing Penny’s face close to her bosom.
Ugh, straight girls and their mixed signals!
“I’m sure that whatever it is, it’s not stupid.”
Penny closed her eyes and pouted. “It’s a girl.”
“Oh, I see… I see.”, Nikki nodded, patting Penny’s shoulder. “Wanna tell me about her?”
“She’s nobody, just some random girl Ied in a bathroom.”
“Did you like her?”
Penny pushed herself away from Nikki’s chest and looked at her, replying, “She was pretty, smart… But that’s really it.”
“Wasn’t girlfriend material?”
“Nope.”
“Then why were you even bothering with her to begin with?”
“She’s a pretty girl and I couldn’t resist.”, Penny grinned.
Nikki slapped Penny in the arm again.
“What? It’s true!”, Penny shot back. “And besides, I’m pretty sure a few years ago, you’d have done the same thing with a smart and attractive gentleman.”
Nikki rolled her eyes.
“I’m taking that as a yes.”
“Shut up.”, Nikki said. “Anyway, what was it about this girl that got you all shook up like this?”
“Just something she said… Reminded me of an ex.”
“Oh, I see.”
“She left me for a guy.”
“Oh, I get it! Is that why you hate men so much?”
“Why do people always think it’s about that?!”
“I don’t know? You like beating them up a lot.”
“Because most of them hit just as hard as I do!”, Penny shot back.
Nikki eased back a little, holding up her arms. “Alright, sweetie.” When things seemed to loosen down a little, Nikki smiled at Penny and asked, “So, tell me about her.”
“Who? The girl Ied in the bathroom.”
“No silly, tell me about your ex-girlfriend.”
Penny looked at Nikki, asking, “What do you wanna know?”
“Let’s start off with her name and you can take it from there.”
“Her name was Ashley…”
“She sounds like a very pretty girl.”
Penny sighed and smiled.
“What is it?”
“I just hate how good it feels to think about her, even after all the crap that happened when we split.”
“It got pretty bad, huh?”
Penny instantly thought of the time she left a flaming bag of dog crap on the front door of the cheese-infected dickhead her beloved Ashley left her for.
“… Let’s just say I could have handled it better.”
“You got hurt pretty bad, huh?"
“Yeah, I did.”
“Can I ask you a personal question?”
“I don’t see why not?”
“How many girlfriends have you had since Ashley? And I’m not talking about a fling or anything, I’m talking about a nice, honest to goodness connection with another person.”
“So like a real relationship?”
“Yes.”
Penny cupped her hand into a circle and replied, “Zilch.”
Nikki reeled Penny in for another hug, “Oh, sweetie. I’m sorry.”
Penny eased off. “I’m fine.”
“Are you?”
“Yeah, but…”
“But what?”
“… It’s just that I’m usually fine, but then I think about her and it just puts me in a weird mood.”
Nikki rubbed Penny’s back and sighed. “Well, you haven’t slept in four days.”
“… Something kinda like six?”
“Penny.”, Nikki said, stopping herself for a moment. “That’s almost an entire week.”
“I’ll live.”
“Not in the rate you’re going.”, Nikki shot out, grabbing Penny’s hand. “Penny, how are you even making it to the next show?”
“What next show?”
“You don’t know?”
Penny turned her head and shrugged.
“You’re booked in the next WFWF Show.”
“I’m what?!”
And just then, Demento strolled back into the living room with Josh trailing back behind him.
“Hello again ladies.”, Demento said, sipping his beer. “… And Penny.”
“Nhegh.” ,Penny shot out her tongue at Demento and gave him the evil eye until he sat sown on the arm chair.
“So, what’re we missing?”, Demento asked
“Penny just found out about her match.”
“Nikki!”, Penny hissed. “Why’d you have to tell him that?”
“But that’s what we were talking about.”
“Girl.”, Penny began. “Back there, we had a connection and now you had to go ‘round and say that crap to Dave.”
“-But?”
“Never mind.”, Penny said, turning her head. “When’s the show?”
“Tomorrow night.”, Josh replied, taking a seat now beside Nikki, wrapping his arm around her as he did.
“That’s pretty soon isn’t it?”
“The whole card’s been up for a couple weeks now.”, Nikki replied.
“Oh… I see.”, Penny sighed. “Anyone know who I’m wrestling?”
“I think it’s a tag team match.”, Nikki said.
“Yeah, yeah.”, Josh nodded back as he looked at her. “With Kyle Matthews.”
“Who’s he?”
“… Wow.”, Demento said, shaking his head. “Do you even follow the shows?”
Penny crossed her arms and kicked her feet on the edge of the coffee table. “… Not anymore.”
“I’m going to remember you said that.”, Demento said.
“Fine!”, Penny shot back, shaking her own head now as she turned her attention back to Josh and Nikki. “Okay, Kyle Matthews. And I teaming with him?”
"Yes.", Josh nodded.
“Okay… Shouldn’t be too much of a problem… I’ll just make him do all the work.”
“HA!”, Demento laughed out. “You two better tell ‘er who they’re wrestling against!”
“… Yeah, who’m I fighting?”
“… DevilKiller.”, Josh replied.
“Okay, I can deal with him.”
“… Wait for it.”, Demento cut in, dick.
Josh rolled his eyes at Demento and slowly shifted back to Penny. “… And the Dragon.”
“Who the is the Dragon?”, Penny shot back.
-Three and a Half Minutes Later-
Penny, Nikki, Josh, and Demento were all curled up comfortably in a couch that they almost looked like the god damn cast of Friends, that Nikki might as well have been playing the theme song while they were at it!
All their eyes were glued to the YouTube video playing from Nikki’s pretty laptop (which was a pink Toshiba). It was a tribute video to the Dragon, Tugarin Zmey and his adorable sidekick DMK, the imp.
The video was a highlight reel of the Dragon hurting people accompanied to the sweet melodic sound of some Chezhoslovakian death metal band that only the uploader himself knew about.
“… That’s not even fair!”, Penny shot out, looking understandably concerned about her physical wellbeing for the first time in years. “… Look at the size of that guy!”
Nikki shrugged shyly and said, “Well, you did say you liked fighting guys because they hit harder than girls.”
“Nikki, honey.”, Penny said, eyeing Nikki as she pointed at the screen. “That isn’t just some guy- he’s a lumbering freak of nature who apparently doesn’t seem to know his own strength.”
Demento couldn’t stop chuckling.
“Shut it, Dave!”, Penny hissed.
“Well, look at you.”
“What?”
“The great Penny Shannon.”, Demento began. “The toughest, most fearless woman- dare, I say wrestler, to ever set foot in the wrestling ring is now scared little a little b*tch because of some giant from the North.”
“Watch it, Demento.”
“Look at you!”, Demento shot back. “You say all this crap about how you’re going to take over the world, how you’ll take on anyone and anything that stands in your way, but here you are, actually trying to find excuses not to fight the most dominant monster the WFWF has seen in years.”
Penny grit her teeth and hissed at Dimento. “I ain’t lookin’ for excuses, Big Dave. I am simply pointing out how unfair it is that me and my tag team partner.”
“-Kyle Matthews.”, Josh butt in.
“-Kyle Matthews and I have to fight two overweight behemoths!”
“It’s a tag team match.”, Demento waved off.
“Even better!”, Penny snapped back. “We can take turns getting abused!”
“… You could actually win, you know.”, Nikki said.
“In a hardcore match, yeah I can. But look at that guy! I can hit him with the jaws of life and it wouldn’t even make a dent.”
“I think you’re selling yourself short here, sweetie.”
“No, I’m not. I’m actually being realistic, for once in my life.”, Penny sighed. “… And it sucks.”
“You can call up WFWF management right now.”, Demento began. “And you can talk your way out of the match. Isn’t like you’ve bailed on shows before.”
Penny facepalmed. “Ugh, I’m going to have to show up for that match aren’t I?”
Demento got off his seat on the couch and pat Penny on the back. “Think of it like this, you’ll be making it up for all the matches you’ve missed.”
“… This is sooo going to suck!”
Nikki leaned over and ran her hand on Penny’s back. “No, it’s not. I think you’re going to win. And you know what?”
Penny raised her eye to look at her even with most of her face buried into her palm. “What?”
“I think that you winning this match is going to show the whole world that it doesn’t matter if you’re too small or if that you’re a girl, if you want it enough, you can step into that ring and beat anyone that comes your way.”
Josh smiled at Penny as he kissed his wife’s forehead. “She’s got a point, you know.”
“Thank you, sweetie.”, Nikki said, holding Josh’s hand. “And if you win tomorrow night, I swear, you are probably going to have the biggest moment of your career.”
Penny started to smile a little. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”, Nikki smiled back. “And this time, you don’t have to stand behind anyone’s shadow. It’s going to be yours and yours alone to cherish for the rest of your life.”
“Don’t forget about Kyle Matthews.”, Demento chimed in.
“Yes, you and Kyle are going to have one of the most memorable matches of your careers. So don’t fret, because you have so much to be excited about.”
Penny pushed her face away from her lap and hugged Nikki. “Thank you.”
“We love you, Penny! We know you can do it, isn’t that right Joshy?”
“That’s right.”, Josh nodded.
“Tell you what.”, Nikki began standing up from the couch as she held Penny’s hand. “You’ve been through enough for one week, so let’s get you settled in one of the guest rooms.”
“You sure?”
“Mhm.”, Nikki nodded. “Joshy and I will take good care of you, won’t we?”
“Mi casa e’su casa.”, Josh nodded, sipping his beer.
“Come on, let’s get you tucked in.”
And with that, Penny took Nikki’s hand and followed her upstairs, leaving the two men alone with each other.
“Women…”, Demento said, sipping his beer.
“I like this.”, Josh smiled, sipping his beer too. “We should have you both more often.”.
Ding… Ding…
There was no answer at the front door to Dean Manor… Well, there really wasn’t anything that manor-ly about the house, it was actually pretty normal… Front lawn, a porch, decent sized back yard right in the middle of suburbia. But having encountered the Dean’s once before, she decided that they entertained her, so there for she liked them.
Which, in her highly spazzed-out state, meant that she could bother them whenever she wanted!
Ding… Ding… Ding...
There was still no one answering the door.
Penny was getting frustrated.
“… I wonder if they’re
ing.”, Penny thought out loud, pressing her finger over her dimple on last time until she clicked the doorbell, sending the rings into overdrive.Dingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingdingding…
“I’M COMING!”, that sounded like Josh.
And indeed it was him, rushing the door open with a blank state and a beer in his hand.
“Oh guess you two weren’t
ing afterall.”“What?”
“Forget I said anything.”, Penny said, waving her hands as she sauntered inside.
“What’re you doing here, Penny?”
Penny turned back to the gracious host and replied, “I was nowhere near your neighborhood and I thought I’d drop by, ‘ya know? Chil, watch some movies, maybe smoke herb with you and missus.”
“First.”, Josh began, holding out his hand before Penny. “I quit dope years ago.”
“Blasphemy!”
“And second, I don’t think Nikki would appreciate drugs.”
“Hey, watch your language son. It’s an herb, not a drug.”
“You know what I mean and it’s still illegal in this state. I’m fine with it, but you know Nikki.”
“She’s a good girl.”, Penny sang. “Loves Jesus and her boyfriend too.”
“Cut it out.”, Josh playfully punched Penny on the arm and turned away. “Well, you’re here anyway. Can I get you a beer?”
“I don’t drink.”, Penny said, waving Josh off as he led her down the hallway. “But I’ll take some ‘pop if you’ve got some… That is what you people call it over here, right?”
Josh raised his eyebrows and went into the kitchen.
Penny took a left at the hallway and turned to the living room where she found Nikki already entertaining someone else.
The nerve of her!
“Nikki!”, Penny shot out as she marched to the living room. “Baby, how could you do this to me?”
“… What?”, Nikki said, blinking for a moment as she folded her arms together.
“I did everything you asked… I drove all night just to get here and what do I get for all my effort?”, Penny said, sobbing a little. “Your husband greets me at the door- your husband! And now, you’ve got-”
Penny let herself stop mid-sentence to look at the other person in the room, the dude sitting on the couch.
“-Dave Demento sitting in your couch?”, Penny raised her eyebrow and grinned at Nikki. “You minx!”
Nikki slapped Penny in the arm. “Knock it out!”
Penny winked at Nikki and let herself fall on the couch, shrugging, “Hey, you can’t blame a girl for tryin’.”
“It was well played.”
‘Thank youz’, Penny mouthed.
“Hi Penny.”, Dave said, holding up the hand that held his bottle of beer in some kind of macho gesture.
“Holy crap!”, Penny shot out, leaning close to Demento to take a good look at him. “What the hell happened to you?”
“Life.”, Demento replied, turning his head with a chuckle as he sipped his beer.
“It’s like looking at a totally different person!”, Penny shot out, getting uncomfortably closer to Demento now. “Man, you must’ve gotten in pretty bad.”
“People do that to you.”
“Oh yeah, you joined that cult! Tell me, did Solomon Crow ever have his way with you? Because it’s okay if he did and it’s okay if you enjoyed it, it all led you to be the man you are today!”
“You’re lucky you’re pretty, Penny.”, Demento cracked, rising from his spot from the couch to walk back to the kitchen.
Nikki motioned closer. “You alright, Penny?”
Penny smiled back at her. “I’m fine.”
Nikki took a seat on the edge of the coffee table and pressed her arms over her thighs as she leaned over and gave Penny the most motherly of smiles that it almost killed her attraction to her.
“You sure about that? You seem a little… I don’t know?”, Nikki said with a bop of her shoulder. “Wiggy.”
Penny chuckled her head and leaned back on the couch. “That’s what some Grade A Master Yoda and a six pack of Monster will do to ‘ya!”
“Been on a bender, huh?”
“… Maybe.”
“Penny?”
“Yeah.”, Penny shrugged. “Haven’t slept in like four days.”
“That’s sure a long time to go without sleeping.”
“Meh, I’ll survive.”
“What’s going on?”
“It’s stupid.”, Penny pouted as she shifted her eyes away.
Nikki took a seat on the couch next to Penny and wrapped her arm around her shoulder. “It’s okay to talk about it sweetie.”
Penny looked at her and opened her mouth to say something, but turned her head.
Nikki pulled Penny gently by the side of her neck and reeled her in for a nice, warm hug; pressing Penny’s face close to her bosom.
Ugh, straight girls and their mixed signals!
“I’m sure that whatever it is, it’s not stupid.”
Penny closed her eyes and pouted. “It’s a girl.”
“Oh, I see… I see.”, Nikki nodded, patting Penny’s shoulder. “Wanna tell me about her?”
“She’s nobody, just some random girl I
ed in a bathroom.”“Did you like her?”
Penny pushed herself away from Nikki’s chest and looked at her, replying, “She was pretty, smart… But that’s really it.”
“Wasn’t girlfriend material?”
“Nope.”
“Then why were you even bothering with her to begin with?”
“She’s a pretty girl and I couldn’t resist.”, Penny grinned.
Nikki slapped Penny in the arm again.
“What? It’s true!”, Penny shot back. “And besides, I’m pretty sure a few years ago, you’d have done the same thing with a smart and attractive gentleman.”
Nikki rolled her eyes.
“I’m taking that as a yes.”
“Shut up.”, Nikki said. “Anyway, what was it about this girl that got you all shook up like this?”
“Just something she said… Reminded me of an ex.”
“Oh, I see.”
“She left me for a guy.”
“Oh, I get it! Is that why you hate men so much?”
“Why do people always think it’s about that?!”
“I don’t know? You like beating them up a lot.”
“Because most of them hit just as hard as I do!”, Penny shot back.
Nikki eased back a little, holding up her arms. “Alright, sweetie.” When things seemed to loosen down a little, Nikki smiled at Penny and asked, “So, tell me about her.”
“Who? The girl I
ed in the bathroom.”“No silly, tell me about your ex-girlfriend.”
Penny looked at Nikki, asking, “What do you wanna know?”
“Let’s start off with her name and you can take it from there.”
“Her name was Ashley…”
“She sounds like a very pretty girl.”
Penny sighed and smiled.
“What is it?”
“I just hate how good it feels to think about her, even after all the crap that happened when we split.”
“It got pretty bad, huh?”
Penny instantly thought of the time she left a flaming bag of dog crap on the front door of the cheese-infected dickhead her beloved Ashley left her for.
“… Let’s just say I could have handled it better.”
“You got hurt pretty bad, huh?"
“Yeah, I did.”
“Can I ask you a personal question?”
“I don’t see why not?”
“How many girlfriends have you had since Ashley? And I’m not talking about a fling or anything, I’m talking about a nice, honest to goodness connection with another person.”
“So like a real relationship?”
“Yes.”
Penny cupped her hand into a circle and replied, “Zilch.”
Nikki reeled Penny in for another hug, “Oh, sweetie. I’m sorry.”
Penny eased off. “I’m fine.”
“Are you?”
“Yeah, but…”
“But what?”
“… It’s just that I’m usually fine, but then I think about her and it just puts me in a weird mood.”
Nikki rubbed Penny’s back and sighed. “Well, you haven’t slept in four days.”
“… Something kinda like six?”
“Penny.”, Nikki said, stopping herself for a moment. “That’s almost an entire week.”
“I’ll live.”
“Not in the rate you’re going.”, Nikki shot out, grabbing Penny’s hand. “Penny, how are you even making it to the next show?”
“What next show?”
“You don’t know?”
Penny turned her head and shrugged.
“You’re booked in the next WFWF Show.”
“I’m what?!”
And just then, Demento strolled back into the living room with Josh trailing back behind him.
“Hello again ladies.”, Demento said, sipping his beer. “… And Penny.”
“Nhegh.” ,Penny shot out her tongue at Demento and gave him the evil eye until he sat sown on the arm chair.
“So, what’re we missing?”, Demento asked
“Penny just found out about her match.”
“Nikki!”, Penny hissed. “Why’d you have to tell him that?”
“But that’s what we were talking about.”
“Girl.”, Penny began. “Back there, we had a connection and now you had to go ‘round and say that crap to Dave.”
“-But?”
“Never mind.”, Penny said, turning her head. “When’s the show?”
“Tomorrow night.”, Josh replied, taking a seat now beside Nikki, wrapping his arm around her as he did.
“That’s pretty soon isn’t it?”
“The whole card’s been up for a couple weeks now.”, Nikki replied.
“Oh… I see.”, Penny sighed. “Anyone know who I’m wrestling?”
“I think it’s a tag team match.”, Nikki said.
“Yeah, yeah.”, Josh nodded back as he looked at her. “With Kyle Matthews.”
“Who’s he?”
“… Wow.”, Demento said, shaking his head. “Do you even follow the shows?”
Penny crossed her arms and kicked her feet on the edge of the coffee table. “… Not anymore.”
“I’m going to remember you said that.”, Demento said.
“Fine!”, Penny shot back, shaking her own head now as she turned her attention back to Josh and Nikki. “Okay, Kyle Matthews. And I teaming with him?”
"Yes.", Josh nodded.
“Okay… Shouldn’t be too much of a problem… I’ll just make him do all the work.”
“HA!”, Demento laughed out. “You two better tell ‘er who they’re wrestling against!”
“… Yeah, who’m I fighting?”
“… DevilKiller.”, Josh replied.
“Okay, I can deal with him.”
“… Wait for it.”, Demento cut in, dick.
Josh rolled his eyes at Demento and slowly shifted back to Penny. “… And the Dragon.”
“Who the
is the Dragon?”, Penny shot back.-Three and a Half Minutes Later-
Penny, Nikki, Josh, and Demento were all curled up comfortably in a couch that they almost looked like the god damn cast of Friends, that Nikki might as well have been playing the theme song while they were at it!
All their eyes were glued to the YouTube video playing from Nikki’s pretty laptop (which was a pink Toshiba). It was a tribute video to the Dragon, Tugarin Zmey and his adorable sidekick DMK, the imp.
The video was a highlight reel of the Dragon hurting people accompanied to the sweet melodic sound of some Chezhoslovakian death metal band that only the uploader himself knew about.
“… That’s not even fair!”, Penny shot out, looking understandably concerned about her physical wellbeing for the first time in years. “… Look at the size of that guy!”
Nikki shrugged shyly and said, “Well, you did say you liked fighting guys because they hit harder than girls.”
“Nikki, honey.”, Penny said, eyeing Nikki as she pointed at the screen. “That isn’t just some guy- he’s a lumbering freak of nature who apparently doesn’t seem to know his own strength.”
Demento couldn’t stop chuckling.
“Shut it, Dave!”, Penny hissed.
“Well, look at you.”
“What?”
“The great Penny Shannon.”, Demento began. “The toughest, most fearless woman- dare, I say wrestler, to ever set foot in the wrestling ring is now scared little a little b*tch because of some giant from the North.”
“Watch it, Demento.”
“Look at you!”, Demento shot back. “You say all this crap about how you’re going to take over the world, how you’ll take on anyone and anything that stands in your way, but here you are, actually trying to find excuses not to fight the most dominant monster the WFWF has seen in years.”
Penny grit her teeth and hissed at Dimento. “I ain’t lookin’ for excuses, Big Dave. I am simply pointing out how unfair it is that me and my tag team partner.”
“-Kyle Matthews.”, Josh butt in.
“-Kyle Matthews and I have to fight two overweight behemoths!”
“It’s a tag team match.”, Demento waved off.
“Even better!”, Penny snapped back. “We can take turns getting abused!”
“… You could actually win, you know.”, Nikki said.
“In a hardcore match, yeah I can. But look at that guy! I can hit him with the jaws of life and it wouldn’t even make a dent.”
“I think you’re selling yourself short here, sweetie.”
“No, I’m not. I’m actually being realistic, for once in my life.”, Penny sighed. “… And it sucks.”
“You can call up WFWF management right now.”, Demento began. “And you can talk your way out of the match. Isn’t like you’ve bailed on shows before.”
Penny facepalmed. “Ugh, I’m going to have to show up for that match aren’t I?”
Demento got off his seat on the couch and pat Penny on the back. “Think of it like this, you’ll be making it up for all the matches you’ve missed.”
“… This is sooo going to suck!”
Nikki leaned over and ran her hand on Penny’s back. “No, it’s not. I think you’re going to win. And you know what?”
Penny raised her eye to look at her even with most of her face buried into her palm. “What?”
“I think that you winning this match is going to show the whole world that it doesn’t matter if you’re too small or if that you’re a girl, if you want it enough, you can step into that ring and beat anyone that comes your way.”
Josh smiled at Penny as he kissed his wife’s forehead. “She’s got a point, you know.”
“Thank you, sweetie.”, Nikki said, holding Josh’s hand. “And if you win tomorrow night, I swear, you are probably going to have the biggest moment of your career.”
Penny started to smile a little. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”, Nikki smiled back. “And this time, you don’t have to stand behind anyone’s shadow. It’s going to be yours and yours alone to cherish for the rest of your life.”
“Don’t forget about Kyle Matthews.”, Demento chimed in.
“Yes, you and Kyle are going to have one of the most memorable matches of your careers. So don’t fret, because you have so much to be excited about.”
Penny pushed her face away from her lap and hugged Nikki. “Thank you.”
“We love you, Penny! We know you can do it, isn’t that right Joshy?”
“That’s right.”, Josh nodded.
“Tell you what.”, Nikki began standing up from the couch as she held Penny’s hand. “You’ve been through enough for one week, so let’s get you settled in one of the guest rooms.”
“You sure?”
“Mhm.”, Nikki nodded. “Joshy and I will take good care of you, won’t we?”
“Mi casa e’su casa.”, Josh nodded, sipping his beer.
“Come on, let’s get you tucked in.”
And with that, Penny took Nikki’s hand and followed her upstairs, leaving the two men alone with each other.
“Women…”, Demento said, sipping his beer.
“I like this.”, Josh smiled, sipping his beer too. “We should have you both more often.”.
I dont know good luck 
