Post by Deleted on Jan 7, 2011 1:01:33 GMT -5
<We begin on a freezing cold night in the deep jungles of Antartica. Three men, two Eskimos we do not recognize and David Handlecatch, cut their way through the hanging vines and assorted shrubbery clearing a path. Just then, an Antartican Jungle Dolphin leaps out from the darkness and lands on one of the Eskimos.>
Handlecatch: Oh sh*t dude it's an antartican jungle dolphin!
<Suddenly Handlecatch unleashes his BURNING LOVE on the Antartican Jungle Dolphin and explodes him with a single KICK!>
Eskimo: Oh sh*t son!
<With the jungle covered in dolphin goo the three men continue their journey until they reach the northest point of Antartica; Nashville, Tennessee. They get deeper into Nashville to where everyone is dressed like a cowboy and it's wicked lame. Finally Handlecatch stops and starts cutting a promo.>
Handlecatch: Nashville, Tennessee. The whole of lame a*s country music. I hate country. It sucks. Every song sounds the same. Weak dude. Luke Collins also comes from Nashville. He's the country music of the WFWF. I'm probably smooth Jazz and smooth Jazz is much better than country. That's one reason I will win. The other, is I have BURNING LOVE. Luke uses the Burning Hammer but BURNING LOVE is much stronger and Luke when we wrestle, you will know when I unleash my BURNING LOVE on you!
<Handlecatch points at Luke dramatically! Just then a swarm of Siberian Ninjas leap off of buildings and throw chinese ninja stars at the eskimos killing them instantly. Handlecatch ducks the ones aimed at him because of his BURNING LOVE. He springs into action landing several KICKS to the face of ninjas who's heads explode upon impact. The remainign ninjas see the extent of his BURNING LOVE and try to run for safety, but Handlecatch destroys all but one with Johnny Cage style shadow KICKS. There is one Ninja left wearing a Darth Vader helmet who, seeing no escape, pulls out his lightsaber! He attacks Handlecatch but David ducks the lightsaber and is able to grab it out of the ninja's hand! The ninja turns around just in time for him to be decapitated by the lightsaber. As his Darth Vader helmet covered head falls to the ground, his decapitated head rolls out revealing he has the same face as David Handlecatch just like in Empire Strikes Back!>
Handlecatch: OH MY GOD HE HAS MY FACE! WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!?
[THE END!?]
Handlecatch: Oh sh*t dude it's an antartican jungle dolphin!
<Suddenly Handlecatch unleashes his BURNING LOVE on the Antartican Jungle Dolphin and explodes him with a single KICK!>
Eskimo: Oh sh*t son!
<With the jungle covered in dolphin goo the three men continue their journey until they reach the northest point of Antartica; Nashville, Tennessee. They get deeper into Nashville to where everyone is dressed like a cowboy and it's wicked lame. Finally Handlecatch stops and starts cutting a promo.>
Handlecatch: Nashville, Tennessee. The whole of lame a*s country music. I hate country. It sucks. Every song sounds the same. Weak dude. Luke Collins also comes from Nashville. He's the country music of the WFWF. I'm probably smooth Jazz and smooth Jazz is much better than country. That's one reason I will win. The other, is I have BURNING LOVE. Luke uses the Burning Hammer but BURNING LOVE is much stronger and Luke when we wrestle, you will know when I unleash my BURNING LOVE on you!
<Handlecatch points at Luke dramatically! Just then a swarm of Siberian Ninjas leap off of buildings and throw chinese ninja stars at the eskimos killing them instantly. Handlecatch ducks the ones aimed at him because of his BURNING LOVE. He springs into action landing several KICKS to the face of ninjas who's heads explode upon impact. The remainign ninjas see the extent of his BURNING LOVE and try to run for safety, but Handlecatch destroys all but one with Johnny Cage style shadow KICKS. There is one Ninja left wearing a Darth Vader helmet who, seeing no escape, pulls out his lightsaber! He attacks Handlecatch but David ducks the lightsaber and is able to grab it out of the ninja's hand! The ninja turns around just in time for him to be decapitated by the lightsaber. As his Darth Vader helmet covered head falls to the ground, his decapitated head rolls out revealing he has the same face as David Handlecatch just like in Empire Strikes Back!>
Handlecatch: OH MY GOD HE HAS MY FACE! WHAT DOES THIS MEAN!?
[THE END!?]