Post by Kurt Burton: Script Doctor! on Jul 19, 2006 19:04:35 GMT -5
The Revolution is gathered in Kurt Burton's apartment. The apartment is enormous, with enough room for a moose to sit comfortably. The stagnant, muggy air weighs down the apartment, as Kurt did not pay the electric bill this month. Silly Kurt. The trash on the floor eminates a stench equal to Michael Moore's toilet. Manny sits in the recliner, dressed in his very punk outdoor wear. His head hanging low, he has an ice pack over his crotch, clutching it for dear life. Kurt lays on the sofa, leaning his head back, cursing at the ceiling, also holding an ice pack against his grapefruit, which are shielded only by his AC~DC boxer shorts. The tips of the fire in the design lay right below the package. Ice package.
Kat is the only one with any energy. She paces back and forth over the floor, crunching the garbage beneath her stiletto boots. She wears only a bra and a pair of Kurt's boxers, trying to stay cool. Her shrill voice fills the room as she admonishes her men.
Kat: I hope you two learned your lesson.[/i]
Kurt: Yes drill seargent.[/i]
Kat: And I hope for your sake, that the next time you pick a fight with a midget, you do NOT dare them to hit you in the HEAD![/i]
Manny: I don't think that'll happen.
Kat: Good. You two are the Orgy champions of the world! You are the greatest tag team in the WFWF! The GREATEST tag team this organization has ever seen. And I will not tolerate you two jeapordizing that by provoking a mentally deranged vertically challenged cock knocker![/i]
She stops dead in her tracks. She takes in one huge deep breath, and slowly pushes it out of her mouth, with a slight whistle passing through her lips. Calm and collected, though definately not cool, she turns back to her troops.
Kat: Now, I may not know much about in ring activity, as my failed bid at the Gyno championship will show, but I know a lot about talent. Talent that you two possess. Talent, which will take you straight in to the house show on Thursday, and bring you out victorious.[/i]
Kurt: I'm not so sure about that. I mean, they are the backyard boyz, they're ultraviolent. They're the most dominant tag team in the house show circuit. They're as big as that midget. I can't face them with swollen cajones.[/i]
Kat: Let me tell you a little something buck-o. The backdoor boyz don't matter one bit. So what if your testicles have swelled to the size of a cantalope. It just doesn't matter. So what if they're two and zero. It just doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter.[/i]
The theatrics suddenly shift into high gear as Kat points angrily to her men.
Kat: It just doesn't matter if they bring garbage cans and flourescent lightbulbs. Does it matter if one is named after a creepy crawly? No, it just doesn't matter. Does it matter if the other one has more initials than he has names? No, it just doesn't matter![/i]
She throws her hands in the air, and gives the pump up signal to Kurt and Manny. They begin chanting, chanting along with her.
Revolution: It just doesn't matter! It just doesn't matter![/i]
Kat: It doesn't matter if the backyard boyz are the backdoor boyz. It doesn't matter if they decide on a name for themselves. It doesn't matter if they bring a nuke to the ring. If God himself, were to look down, take pity on them, and say that they should win, it still wouldn't matter.... because in the end, if you both were missing all of your limbs, you'd still be bigger, meaner, and have more wrestling ability than those two c^nt rags.[/i]
Kurt and Manny drop they're ice packs and stand up and cheer. Kat drops to her feet in glorious fashion, holding both hands high, proud of her fiery speech.
Kat:I'm going to hit the shower. Jesus it is hot in here.[/i]
Kat walks away, towards the right, already begining to unfasten her bra. Manny looks to Kurt.
Manny: Peace out, I'm going to hit the gym.
Manny takes off running out the door, Kurt stares at Manny as he takes off running to te left and out the door.
Kurt: Whatever, your just going to juice the grapefruits. So, O.K.A.M.A, Spider. We meet each other, at this house show, Thursday, July 20th. And this will be the end of you. You two run around like your the poopy. Why? One of you is just a pathetic counterfeit of the heavy metal god, and the other has five initials. OK that wasn't so much a slam as it was a point of confusion. How can you possibly have that many initials. Are you a Spanish woman with three husbands or something? And what do they stand for? What? Let's see... is it Overeating Knight Always Munched Apples? Or is it Obnoxius Kindergartner Agravates Many Adults? I don't get it. But all the initials in the world don't make you tough. They don't make you a badass. They make you, well pathetic. And back to your partner, Spider. I am so scared of you, little pip squeak. Didn't you come to us on Odium, and ask to join our merry band of miscreants? And I told you to go proove yourself, so you begin an incestous relationship with your cousin here instead of actually stepping up and being a man. Well, that's all the proof that I need. But you know what, I could be wrong. You two could be amazing. But it still just doesn't matter, because we are the orgy champions, and you are a couple of backyard bozos.[/i][/b]
Kat is the only one with any energy. She paces back and forth over the floor, crunching the garbage beneath her stiletto boots. She wears only a bra and a pair of Kurt's boxers, trying to stay cool. Her shrill voice fills the room as she admonishes her men.
Kat: I hope you two learned your lesson.[/i]
Kurt: Yes drill seargent.[/i]
Kat: And I hope for your sake, that the next time you pick a fight with a midget, you do NOT dare them to hit you in the HEAD![/i]
Manny: I don't think that'll happen.
Kat: Good. You two are the Orgy champions of the world! You are the greatest tag team in the WFWF! The GREATEST tag team this organization has ever seen. And I will not tolerate you two jeapordizing that by provoking a mentally deranged vertically challenged cock knocker![/i]
She stops dead in her tracks. She takes in one huge deep breath, and slowly pushes it out of her mouth, with a slight whistle passing through her lips. Calm and collected, though definately not cool, she turns back to her troops.
Kat: Now, I may not know much about in ring activity, as my failed bid at the Gyno championship will show, but I know a lot about talent. Talent that you two possess. Talent, which will take you straight in to the house show on Thursday, and bring you out victorious.[/i]
Kurt: I'm not so sure about that. I mean, they are the backyard boyz, they're ultraviolent. They're the most dominant tag team in the house show circuit. They're as big as that midget. I can't face them with swollen cajones.[/i]
Kat: Let me tell you a little something buck-o. The backdoor boyz don't matter one bit. So what if your testicles have swelled to the size of a cantalope. It just doesn't matter. So what if they're two and zero. It just doesn't matter. It just doesn't matter.[/i]
The theatrics suddenly shift into high gear as Kat points angrily to her men.
Kat: It just doesn't matter if they bring garbage cans and flourescent lightbulbs. Does it matter if one is named after a creepy crawly? No, it just doesn't matter. Does it matter if the other one has more initials than he has names? No, it just doesn't matter![/i]
She throws her hands in the air, and gives the pump up signal to Kurt and Manny. They begin chanting, chanting along with her.
Revolution: It just doesn't matter! It just doesn't matter![/i]
Kat: It doesn't matter if the backyard boyz are the backdoor boyz. It doesn't matter if they decide on a name for themselves. It doesn't matter if they bring a nuke to the ring. If God himself, were to look down, take pity on them, and say that they should win, it still wouldn't matter.... because in the end, if you both were missing all of your limbs, you'd still be bigger, meaner, and have more wrestling ability than those two c^nt rags.[/i]
Kurt and Manny drop they're ice packs and stand up and cheer. Kat drops to her feet in glorious fashion, holding both hands high, proud of her fiery speech.
Kat:I'm going to hit the shower. Jesus it is hot in here.[/i]
Kat walks away, towards the right, already begining to unfasten her bra. Manny looks to Kurt.
Manny: Peace out, I'm going to hit the gym.
Manny takes off running out the door, Kurt stares at Manny as he takes off running to te left and out the door.
Kurt: Whatever, your just going to juice the grapefruits. So, O.K.A.M.A, Spider. We meet each other, at this house show, Thursday, July 20th. And this will be the end of you. You two run around like your the poopy. Why? One of you is just a pathetic counterfeit of the heavy metal god, and the other has five initials. OK that wasn't so much a slam as it was a point of confusion. How can you possibly have that many initials. Are you a Spanish woman with three husbands or something? And what do they stand for? What? Let's see... is it Overeating Knight Always Munched Apples? Or is it Obnoxius Kindergartner Agravates Many Adults? I don't get it. But all the initials in the world don't make you tough. They don't make you a badass. They make you, well pathetic. And back to your partner, Spider. I am so scared of you, little pip squeak. Didn't you come to us on Odium, and ask to join our merry band of miscreants? And I told you to go proove yourself, so you begin an incestous relationship with your cousin here instead of actually stepping up and being a man. Well, that's all the proof that I need. But you know what, I could be wrong. You two could be amazing. But it still just doesn't matter, because we are the orgy champions, and you are a couple of backyard bozos.[/i][/b]
