Odium 7-2-06: "A Moose in a Room"

[El Manny of Fresh]

[The camera fades in on The Hitman Manny C in his hotel room in Montreal, host to the next Odium event. He is lying on the bed, watching bad Canadian TV…]

Manny C: Dude, Its true. It’s really true. Everything in Canada sucks. I thought it was a bad joke, but its ing true. Canada can’t win a gold medal. The NHL Oilers from Canada cant be an American team. And it really, really, smells out here.

[The Hitman’s revelation came a bit late. He could have came to this conclusion when he was driving in, the sign leading in literally said “Welcome To Canada, We Really Do Suck!” He could have come to this conclusion when he noticed everybody said “eh.” Everybody! Annoyed by his discovery, he turned the TV off…]

Manny C: I CANT WAIT TO GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!!!!!!! Lemme just beat that emo bastard Yu gi oh….yukiblow….o ye te yukio…..thats it! SLEEEEPPPPPPPP!!!

[Manny goes to sleep. Hours pass by and we see The Hitman start to toss and turn in his sleep. We will now enter his dream….The camera fades out…]


[As the camera fades back in, we see a bright white room, no doors, no windows. We then see Manny C in one corner of the room and directly across from him is…a moose. The moose is a giant, much bigger then The Hitman, but one thing is off with it. Its hair, it had long black hair and a part of it was going over his right eye, very emo like. Manny C was very puzzled by this. And then all of a sudden!!!]

Moose: Manny!

Manny C: Holy crap! HOLY crap!!! IM IN A ROOM WITH A MOOSE!!!!!

Moose: Yes, I am Yukio. The Canadian Emo Moose.

Manny C: What THE HELL makes you the emo moose?

Moose: I am stuck in this room with nothing but AFI and Taking Back Sunday to listen to and a computer that come in periodically that allows me to update my live journal. Plus I am always depressed because…well…I am a moose, emo moose, in a room.

Manny C: I am speechless right now.

Moose: Listen, I exist only as a projection…

Manny C: Wait, how do you type on the computer?

[The Moose Sighs]

Moose: Giant keyboard.

Manny C: Oh!, So what were you talking about?

Moose: Yes, I am a projection of your operate, Yukio.

Manny C: Ok, That doesn’t explain the whole “Moose” Thing

Moose: Its Canada.

Manny C: But…

Moose: SHUT UP SIMPLE HUMAN

[The moose sighs again]

Moose: Look, as I look tough and hard to beat, I really am a **** at heart.

Manny C: Right, The moose form is his talk, but what he really is, is a sappy emo kid!

Moose: Yes. Manny, you and Kurt posses the power to totally his crap up. Go forth and destroy him with keen wrestling ability and pure power.

Manny C: Thank you moose!

Moose: Go forth Hitman and by the way, your not alone in your bed.

[The Hitman suddenly wakes up. Still remembering the message the moose told him. But he also contemplated why the moose said he wasn’t alone in his bed. Manny C turns to his side and…]

[Manny screams bloody murder as Kurt, who is very drunk, laughs his ass off. The camera fades out.]

OOC: This was the stupidest idea I have ever...thank you invader zim for the idea about the moose lol

[Yukio Blaze]

This kinda got a laugh out of me, but I think your getting better and good luck to you.


PS. My character really isnt emo

[Kyzer]

It made me laugh. I liked it. You need to add to the description a bit, but I enjoy the comical way you write your rps so keep it up.

[Calvin]

This was a hilarious rp....especially the line where the moose explains he has a giant keyboard. btw, pretty cool bands you listed there.

I liked the idea of a dream, I haven't seen a dream version of a rp in a long time, and this one had really good humour in it. I liked the idea of the message coming from the moose too. The one thing I think this rp lacked was a little bit more description on Yukio. I can see why there wasnt' a lot, but there coul dhave been a little more. Like, the moose could have explained why he was sending the message...or something like that. Either way, it was a humourous rp, got a laugh out of me atleast. good job on that.

[Kyzer]

He is the only person besides myself to do it here, since I have been around. I have done it a couple of times.

[Swarm]

- I say this time and time again, never mention the camera. Of all the advice I can give, the most important thing; Never mention the camera. The camera destroys the fourth wall and rather than you looking at the story in front of you, you're looking at it behind some camera man. It really kills the mood. No matter what style or format, always, it's a mood killer. Very counter productive.

- Strangely, you're not bad at conversation. In all honesty, the overall thing was... Well, sort of pointless, but your conversation's good. The entire thing did come off rather... Bizarre, and if you will; Trippy. Sort of brings back some memories. Anywhoo, you've got good conversation but this is a roleplay fed, and it'd be very beneficial to work more on a solid speech and really sticking to a point. The idea of the moose was actually very clever and unique, but you could've gone a lot further with it. Sort of presented the moose as almost an archetype (lolz username) of Canadians and "emo" kids, with it's perspective being how you feel about Yukio in the first place. Deep, whoOa.

- I'd argue you need to tone down the cursing a bit, but it did work alright in certain places. Sometimes cursing is a definite mood killer, but I thought it came off like someone actually talking and not just sophomoric mud slinging.

- Overall, you've got a good knack for speech but you definitely need to really try more with your descriptions and specific points.

[Kurt Burton: Script Doctor!]

Hmmm... When I saw the title for this, I knew it was going to rip off invader Zim. But I liked it. An astral projection of your opponent. My only question is... why am I in your bed?!!!!!

[Deleted]

Again your RP made me chuckle but I would work on your description to set the scene and try to build up your characters speech more so that he can give solid opinions on his opponent. Good luck in your match man.