Getting older and accepting things

[GreyHaze:Big Bad Booty Daddy]

Hey guys, I’ve been in my head recently and kind of accepting aging and letting the past go. Sometimes nostalgia triggers me in a sense where I wish I was in the past. I miss people who raised me and I grew up with. How do you guys deal with this? Do you have anything specific that makes you sad about getting older or just brings you back to a time in your life when things were much simpler? I’ve also accepted that I’ve held grudges against people close to me and it’s kind of hindered me as a person. I don’t know how to forgive or even start, but I feel guilt in a sense. I’ve tried therapy, meditation and no longer wish to speak to friends about these things, but still haven’t learned to let go. Sorry for the long rant, but figured that maybe some of my friends here have gone through a similar experience at some point.

[theman]

Hello my friend! I think we all go through something like that as we age, we all want to go back to a time when thing were much more simple. I miss getting up on Saturday mornings, eating fruity pebbles without a care in the world. Now I have to work two Saturdays every month. As for me I just try to focus on what makes me happy, Hulkamania, wrestling figures, video games and my girlfriend. The trick is to appreciate the past and look forward to the future my friend.

[Papi Joker]

there is nothing stopping you from living old school, of course you get a bit sad, realise this is because you had a great youth then!?

I defend and uphold old school wrestling and pop culture but I do not try and even compare it or push it on people.

Too many friends=too many problems!

Forgive people but do not forget, meaning do not seek them or await apologies from them.

Never let go of who you are, stop wanting to control other people and their feelings, just take care of yourself.

also you will always have us!!!!! (and rasslin' and toys)

some days are shit, most of the time it is our perspective.

[Jack Specific]

Humans... We will always miss the good things, we will always have some regrets in life. We may hold grudges and have animosity. But you know what? You learn to live with it, we all do. You and only you can make things better for yourself so that you in another 10 years can look back and miss more good things. But continue to make things better, that's one of the best ways you can deal with it. Keep being kind to others, keep out the toxic people. This way in 10 years from now when you look back at now while missing the good things there are no grudges and animosity. Do your best to be the best you that you can. Don't let difference of opinions or any other differences that you may have with others hinder your kindness and goodness. This way when you look back in 10 years from now you while missing so many good things, holding no grudges, you will have little to no guilt. See where I am going? We cannot change the past but we can control (to a point) what is ahead. And remember, the more that things change the more they stay the same. So while a friendship may end, a door may close, another friendship can be, another door may open. But it's up to you to open those doors. I am a lot older from you and as I get older, even though my past still haunts me almost daily, I learn that craphappens and craphappened but none of it's worth breaking me into someone I don't want to be. And for the so many things I miss, there will be more, it's inevitable. But for those things missed, I am so lucky to have lived it. Move on, move forward, take a step at a time, look back but take 2 more steps forward. You'll be fine.

JS

[K5]

it isn’t easy by any means. I’ve had a great life in some ways, but there’s some things that have alluded me and I haven’t gotten out unscathed.

realizing that time ends for some opportunities is making me able to concentrate and capitalize more on the opportunities that can still be made. so, at the least, let’s learn from our losses instead of dwelling.

[TKO Propagandist]

I don't live in the past. But I still rent a room there atleast a few days a month

[Escape The Rules]

I used to reminisce a lot in my early twenties about the past, mostly because I was unfulfilled in my current life and the past was more fun and eventful than the present. Once I changed course and started actually doing stuff with my life I was able to let that go. I could look back on the past and enjoy the memories without yearning for them because where I was at and where I'm going was far better, I was enjoying the present, living in the now and living my life to the fullest and still am. Now I'm all about looking forwards while enjoying the memories without living there. If you do it without thinking and keep looking forwards instead of backwards, before too long you'll have racked up a collection of new memories that you can look back fondly on and say "Wow I did all that, this life is pretty damn good."

Obviously I'm not saying that's what you're going through, just sharing my experience with it in the chance that it can help.

[Rocky Balboa]

I am a horrifically nostalgic person, and I very much live in my nostalgia still and refuse to let go of it. I have been playing World of Warcraft for 17 years and can't stop because... It just reminds me of better times? Same with Diablo 2, I remember I used to play Diablo 2 on dial up internet, and once we got broadband I would sit on the phone with my friend as we played all night.

I have come to realise when I look back at everything fondly, like the simple things, sitting infront of VH1 all day waiting for your favorite music video and such to come on, or fond memories of when they first showed Star Wars Episode 1 on free TV and you saw it for the first time, the reason I am so nostalgic for it is because it meant more. Everything is so accessible nowadays that nothing means anything. I can listen to whatever song I want, I can watch whatever movie I want, I can play whatever game I want. 20 years ago, things just meant more. Missed that show you watch every week? Guess you'll have to ask your friend what happened or wait for the dvd set to release.

And that is why I am so sad and depressed now, as a 27 year old, because I have realised that nothing will come to mean that much anymore, we get spoonfed whatever we want and nothing means anything because of it.

[RSCTom]

Aug 13, 2024 20:31:25 GMT -5 GreyHaze:Big Bad Booty Daddy said:

Hey guys, I’ve been in my head recently and kind of accepting aging and letting the past go. Sometimes nostalgia triggers me in a sense where I wish I was in the past. I miss people who raised me and I grew up with. How do you guys deal with this? Do you have anything specific that makes you sad about getting older or just brings you back to a time in your life when things were much simpler? I’ve also accepted that I’ve held grudges against people close to me and it’s kind of hindered me as a person. I don’t know how to forgive or even start, but I feel guilt in a sense. I’ve tried therapy, meditation and no longer wish to speak to friends about these things, but still haven’t learned to let go. Sorry for the long rant, but figured that maybe some of my friends here have gone through a similar experience at some point.

I am not sure what has happened to you in life but I can tell you there is nothing wrong with absolutely blocking people out of your life and moving on if they have wronged you or you don't feel the connection to them you once did. I have done this with both friends and in relationships and been criticized by those people but I could care less. As long as you're not actively, aggressively begrudging someone and can let it go, it is your choice and there is nothing wrong with it. Moving on is a great solution and you have no obligation to anyone out there.

Nostalgia is a hell of a drug, though. Listening to Super Nintendo and Sega Genesis music, even some just old 70's and 80's and 90's rock or radio tunes puts me back to 30 years ago in no time. The reality is, the times were simpler but they perhaps weren't as comfortable as you remember them. I know for sure I wouldn't want to relive my teenage years over again. Accepting these kinds of things makes life as an adult who can make your own decisions that much sweeter.

Aug 15, 2024 10:57:46 GMT -5 Rocky Balboa said:

And that is why I am so sad and depressed now, as a 27 year old, because I have realised that nothing will come to mean that much anymore, we get spoonfed whatever we want and nothing means anything because of it.

You can 100% avoid this by tuning out. Don't be fooled by companies selling things and the machine wanting you to 'consume content' (I hate and have always hated the term 'content' and I hate that it's mainstreamed to the point that 'fans' of things use it as if it's ok). Just as an example I feel personal relief every time something from Marvel comes out because I just don't have any interest at all. I can't imagine being a huge Marvel fan this day and age, I grew up enjoying that stuff like everyone else as a kid and young adult but I have basically disliked and/or hated every Marvel movie since the first Iron Man yet I still hop in with curiosity here and there. That said, I know for certain I don't like what Marvel is and think it's insanely overrated based on personal taste so it's a huge chunk of time I get back in my life having no worries about missing the next AntMan or Thor or whatever.

I get what you're saying though, the ease of access to so much so often can be extremely overwhelming and feel like things are without any rhyme or reason or even real excitement. You have to kind of consistently just like what you like and be ok with it, with respect to your personal tastes, and get over when things are dumb or aren't as cool as they used to be. Not to take it back to movies (I was a film major so it's a huge part of my mindset still) but I am a huge Ghostbusters fan and pretty much thought Frozen Empire was a bad movie and not at all what I hoped for, but I look on the bright side. It's an absolute miracle the movie exists in the way that it does so I take comfort and that and ultimately enjoy it more even though I think it's poor quality if I really dive deep. Sometimes you just have to let go of your need for things to be better.

Same with wrestling...I haven't enjoyed/agreed with it for years and years even after training, what I see on screen and at shows hasn't connected with me and I just haven't felt it's moving in a direction for the better despite the thousands of podcasts and programs and people acting like it has on a daily basis, so I just simply haven't been watching...it has given me more time to focus on things I still like or liked even more like baseball, another hobby, etc. It's ok to change your tastes and let things go to have meaning with stuff you notice you still really like.

Books, music, movies, TV, comics, playing outside, all this fun stuff isn't going anywhere, there are tons and tons of options and you have no obligation to any of them you don't want to no matter what aggressive streaming services or spotify or whatever say. Picking and choosing has consistently helped me avoid crazy nostalgia holes...and then you can just revisit things when you feel like it.

Also I am not sure if you are a (legal) weed smoker but I would suggest avoiding this as well because that just takes any nostalgia trap you have that might be the size of a donut and turns it into the size of a crater. At least if you do, know what you're getting yourself into. Otherwise, skip it!

[K5]

to add to my last post, this is exactly why I’m going through wrestling training now at 34. I understand my odds of making it, know I can have some fun on the indies, and it’s a lifelong dream that I feel I am really closing in on time wise.

gotta make hay while the sun shines, so figure out what hay you’re wanting and go for it

[Rocky Balboa]

Aug 15, 2024 12:13:16 GMT -5 RSCTom said:

Aug 15, 2024 10:57:46 GMT -5 Rocky Balboa said:

And that is why I am so sad and depressed now, as a 27 year old, because I have realised that nothing will come to mean that much anymore, we get spoonfed whatever we want and nothing means anything because of it.

You can 100% avoid this by tuning out. Don't be fooled by companies selling things and the machine wanting you to 'consume content' (I hate and have always hated the term 'content' and I hate that it's mainstreamed to the point that 'fans' of things use it as if it's ok). Just as an example I feel personal relief every time something from Marvel comes out because I just don't have any interest at all. I can't imagine being a huge Marvel fan this day and age, I grew up enjoying that stuff like everyone else as a kid and young adult but I have basically disliked and/or hated every Marvel movie since the first Iron Man yet I still hop in with curiosity here and there. That said, I know for certain I don't like what Marvel is and think it's insanely overrated based on personal taste so it's a huge chunk of time I get back in my life having no worries about missing the next AntMan or Thor or whatever.

I get what you're saying though, the ease of access to so much so often can be extremely overwhelming and feel like things are without any rhyme or reason or even real excitement. You have to kind of consistently just like what you like and be ok with it, with respect to your personal tastes, and get over when things are dumb or aren't as cool as they used to be. Not to take it back to movies (I was a film major so it's a huge part of my mindset still) but I am a huge Ghostbusters fan and pretty much thought Frozen Empire was a bad movie and not at all what I hoped for, but I look on the bright side. It's an absolute miracle the movie exists in the way that it does so I take comfort and that and ultimately enjoy it more even though I think it's poor quality if I really dive deep. Sometimes you just have to let go of your need for things to be better.

Same with wrestling...I haven't enjoyed/agreed with it for years and years even after training, what I see on screen and at shows hasn't connected with me and I just haven't felt it's moving in a direction for the better despite the thousands of podcasts and programs and people acting like it has on a daily basis, so I just simply haven't been watching...it has given me more time to focus on things I still like or liked even more like baseball, another hobby, etc. It's ok to change your tastes and let things go to have meaning with stuff you notice you still really like.

Books, music, movies, TV, comics, playing outside, all this fun stuff isn't going anywhere, there are tons and tons of options and you have no obligation to any of them you don't want to no matter what aggressive streaming services or spotify or whatever say. Picking and choosing has consistently helped me avoid crazy nostalgia holes...and then you can just revisit things when you feel like it.

Also I am not sure if you are a (legal) weed smoker but I would suggest avoiding this as well because that just takes any nostalgia trap you have that might be the size of a donut and turns it into the size of a crater. At least if you do, know what you're getting yourself into. Otherwise, skip it!

I just find that there is nothing that really excites me anymore because nothing feels like it has any weight to it. I can buy something, be happy for 5 minutes, and then that fun is over. Where as a kid, getting something new was fun for hours, days, weeks even. It just annoys me that I don't feel anything towards the things that used to bring me joy. Like an episode of RAW, used to be the highlight of my week, now it takes me from "depressed" to "content" for 3 hours and that's it. 
  
The only thing that kind of gives me that rush still is sports, watching my favorite team and all that, but even then, the coming down from that high for a couple of hours almost makes it worse. So I just tend to cling to the few nostalgic things that doesn't make me feel like crap. 
  
As for weed, never tried it, no intention to. I don't drink, smoke or do drugs. I prefer to suffer through life raw.

[RSCTom]

Aug 16, 2024 17:40:00 GMT -5 Rocky Balboa said:

I just find that there is nothing that really excites me anymore because nothing feels like it has any weight to it. I can buy something, be happy for 5 minutes, and then that fun is over. Where as a kid, getting something new was fun for hours, days, weeks even. It just annoys me that I don't feel anything towards the things that used to bring me joy. Like an episode of RAW, used to be the highlight of my week, now it takes me from "depressed" to "content" for 3 hours and that's it. 
  
The only thing that kind of gives me that rush still is sports, watching my favorite team and all that, but even then, the coming down from that high for a couple of hours almost makes it worse. So I just tend to cling to the few nostalgic things that doesn't make me feel like crap. 
  
As for weed, never tried it, no intention to. I don't drink, smoke or do drugs. I prefer to suffer through life raw.

I feel you, it's definitely tough as we age to lose that 'holiday presents' excitement. There's a harsh reality to it but also it's important to remember as I said, it's up to you as an adult to take things into your own hands. Sounds like perhaps something new and social might help you, so I would think about different ways to spend your time as well.

[captainhero]

Aug 15, 2024 16:47:53 GMT -5 K5 said:

to add to my last post, this is exactly why I’m going through wrestling training now at 34. I understand my odds of making it, know I can have some fun on the indies, and it’s a lifelong dream that I feel I am really closing in on time wise.

gotta make hay while the sun shines, so figure out what hay you’re wanting and go for it

Better late than never! And just remember when you make it that captainhero on Wfigs believed in you  

[williscreg]

Not really. I think as I get older, everything seems to become simpler. I don’t care much about my looks now and have accepted the fact that I need to contact glassesusa finally. It is what it is, and I’m embracing this new phase of life. I’ve realized that focusing on what truly matters, like relationships and experiences, brings me more joy than worrying about superficial things. Sure, there are days when I feel a bit nostalgic about my younger self, but overall, I’m trying to enjoy every moment of this current life

[switchbladeera]

The butterfly effect helps me. Not the movie, the concept. I miss some things of the past, and at 35 am very much struggling with the reality of athletic decline. But changing anything about the past would alter the things I'm grateful for today, and hanging onto the past would ruin tomorrow. And every few months if I get really deep in it I crack a few extra wobblys and let myself go for a night 🤣. Falling asleep too early and paying for it for three days reminds me I'm not young anymore and that's ok 🤣. I'm joking but I'm also totally not joking. Bryan Danielson talked a lot about learning how to be present and I think that's the ultimate advice really.