Do you ever feel like a burden?

[Bruce Banner]

I’m 31 years old and I have multiple sclerosis. I was diagnosed back in 2011 and over the past 3 years my health has gotten so bad I had to quit my job and apply for disability because I can barley walk..I was lucky enough to find the greatest woman ever and was with her for the past 8 years and married June of 2020. We are currently looking to buy a home because we came into some money and my credit isnt to bad but ever since I stopped working I feel like nothing but a burden to my wife and the people around me. I know I don’t have the greatest support system and growing up everyone drifts apart but I just feel alone and like my life is kind of pointless. I had a few mental issues due to my MS and depression but I thought I’ve gotten past it and it just seemed to hit me harder than before. I honestly don’t know what to do or where to turn and I doubt anyone on a wrestling forum would care but I’m literally fighting off voices in my head of doing stupid stuff and don’t know where to turn or what to do so I thought maybe coming here to vent would help...

[k5]

please do remember that your wife, and families, would be truly burdened by the loss of you.

it sounds like you've been dealing with a lot - physically and mentally. perhaps seeking someone who can talk with you professionally about the areas of your life troubling you could help.

either way, I wish you the best. I hope you and your wife get that house you've got in mind and enjoy it. that's a big accomplishment.

[Kill Em' All]

Hey man youre family and those around you are blessed to have you.
Always remember that. It's a tough time; and for sure that's a lot of trouble and pain that those feelings bring up. And that's totally valid. I struggle with the same emotions; over different issues. But I understand that feeling 110%

Everything will be okay man; remember the moment and enjoy the moment. Things come together; and things can get tough. Just hold deer to what you have. And focusing on what is good and what I do love; may not make me forget. But it helps. But easier said then done sometimes.

If you ever need to chat; PM me. I'll keep you in my prayers brother. God bless; and take care of yourself. Best of luck.

[JP]

Hey man,

I'm sorry you're having a tough time. Just remember those voices in your head aren't friendly, and that those who do care about you - your wife, family, friends would all be devastated if you did anything silly.

I understand to an extent how you are feeling - I myself have attempted suicide on two occasions, but it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Seek out some counselling if you can, and talk with your loved ones about how you're feeling. It'll be tough, but you will come out on the other side of this.

[¡Twist Of Cinnamon!]

Even if you don’t think so, you are loved and would be missed if you were to do the unimaginable.

[CM Poor]

The word "burden" carries negative connotations, and it sounds cliché to say, but it's what you and your wife signed up for by entering into a marriage together. It's very rare that people will talk about the difficult aspects of marriage, save for a passing "there will be tough times" before moving on back to the cutesy sh*t. The fact is, however you personally perceive the institution, you've both agreed to be there for each other through sickness and in health. Conditional marriages don't work - you're both here to take on whatever the world throws at you together.

It sounds like you need your wife, but I think the side of the equation that you're missing is the fact that she very likely, in her own way, needs you too. If my math is right, she met you post-diagnosis, and married you post-employment. That sounds, to me, like someone who saw the bigger picture, and saw her life with you, in spite of any obstacles in place. I think that there are some compounding factors in play, too...you've taken on the challenge of purchasing a home in one of the most competitive markets in our lifetime, smack dab in the midst of a global pandemic. We've all spent the past year or so just doing what we can to put one foot in front of the other, and whether you see it in the moment or not, that takes its toll.

I'm just a guy who collects wrestling toys with his own share of troubles, thirteen years deep into his own marriage. I can impart certain learned wisdoms on you, but I cannot provide the guidance you need to navigate these waters. Your best avenue is to consult with your doctors...I've no doubt you have plenty that you're in regular contact with. They can refer you to professionals who can help guide you through these thoughts you're experiencing. The only further advice I can offer is to not settle...a good mental health professional is worth the weight of their entire practice in gold, but one you can't connect with isn't going to do you any favors. I've been through a good seven to ten myself, and can count on two fingers the ones that did any good for me.

[Deleted]

She needs you too, as the folks above have mentioned. The last nine years of my grandpa's life saw him half-paralyzed and my grandma continued to care for him day after day after day, doing it out of love because he was the man she married. She had no issues and would have chosen to help him over not having him any day of the week. It sounds like, as far as time frame, you met your wife after the diagnosis and I can say without doubt it would bring her indescribable suffering and sadness if you were to do anything to take yourself away from her. Money and related affairs are temporary, what is a challenge one day can be figured out the next.
As far as mental health, I've been in the game as a patient since 2016 and the folks in that field can help with talk therapy and medicine to bring you where you need to be, should you choose that route. They've evolved psychology and psychiatry into very modern, developed sciences that are miles beyond what they were 50 years ago. They know why people experience pain mentally and emotionally and are willing and able to help.
Best wishes. Stay strong good sir, and take everything one day at a time. Corny, but true. One moment at a time even.

[Brad]

May 11, 2021 0:08:37 GMT -5 Bruce Banner said:

I’m 31 years old and I have multiple sclerosis. I was diagnosed back in 2011 and over the past 3 years my health has gotten so bad I had to quit my job and apply for disability because I can barley walk..I was lucky enough to find the greatest woman ever and was with her for the past 8 years and married June of 2020. We are currently looking to buy a home because we came into some money and my credit isnt to bad but ever since I stopped working I feel like nothing but a burden to my wife and the people around me. I know I don’t have the greatest support system and growing up everyone drifts apart but I just feel alone and like my life is kind of pointless. I had a few mental issues due to my MS and depression but I thought I’ve gotten past it and it just seemed to hit me harder than before. I honestly don’t know what to do or where to turn and I doubt anyone on a wrestling forum would care but I’m literally fighting off voices in my head of doing stupid stuff and don’t know where to turn or what to do so I thought maybe coming here to vent would help...

I can relate. I have cerebral palsy, which limits what work I can do. The CP has recently started impacting me physically much more (I'm 36) and I'm having some pretty bad hip pain that makes it hard to get around. On top of that I have horrible anxiety and depression. Over the last year I've spent more time off work than I have working because my mental health has been so terrible. I even attempted suicide back in March and spent 10 days in the hospital.

I'm working part time right now and have applied for disability. I hate that I can't do more for/with my wife and daughter and the rest of my family because of one issue or the other...it's honestly a daily battle, but my little girl and my wife keep me fighting.

[rKoNomad316]

W/O going into much detail, I do. I think my family thinks I am. I get this sense & they have stupid expectations for me. Money/my job plays a big role in this I say.
I deal with it by not being around them when I can.

[Bruce Banner]

I just want to say thank you to everybody who took the time to read and respond. I had a really bad night I was finally able to lay my head down and go to sleep. I woke up with a clearer mind and felt a little embarrassed but everybody’s comments really helped me a lot. All I can do now is try to continue to stay and be as positive as possible and when I go to my doctors appointment in a week or so I’ll tell her I need some type of help and that I’m having problems mentally. But seriously thank you everyone.

[Brad]

May 11, 2021 15:14:54 GMT -5 Bruce Banner said:

I just want to say thank you to everybody who took the time to read and respond. I had a really bad night I was finally able to lay my head down and go to sleep. I woke up with a clearer mind and felt a little embarrassed but everybody’s comments really helped me a lot. All I can do now is try to continue to stay and be as positive as possible and when I go to my doctors appointment in a week or so I’ll tell her I need some type of help and that I’m having problems mentally. But seriously thank you everyone.

There's no shame in asking for help. I'm on depression and anxiety meds and about to add some ADD meds on top of it. I'm also in therapy once a week.

[rsh]

Sometimes I really do. I fight with my parents for no reason, I'm failing school often use services like writinguniverse.com/free-essay-examples/government/ , I keep thinking my friends are fake when they're really the only thing keeping me alive, I'm not eating so I can be skinny, I stay up late, I keep victimizing, I'm just done. I'm nothing but useless and I really can't keep going.

[Grumpyoldman]

Sept 12, 2021 13:03:15 GMT -5 rsh said:

Sometimes I really do. I fight with my parents for no reason, I'm failing school, I keep thinking my friends are fake when they're really the only thing keeping me alive, I'm not eating so I can be skinny, I stay up late, I keep victimizing, I'm just done. I'm nothing but useless and I really can't keep going.

I'm wondering why would you fight with your parents for no reason.

[J'Dinkalage Morgoone]

Sept 12, 2021 13:03:15 GMT -5 rsh said:

Sometimes I really do. I fight with my parents for no reason, I'm failing school often use services like writinguniverse.com/free-essay-examples/government/ , I keep thinking my friends are fake when they're really the only thing keeping me alive, I'm not eating so I can be skinny, I stay up late, I keep victimizing, I'm just done. I'm nothing but useless and I really can't keep going.

you need some help, go see a doc bro