Penny Shannon Gets Cancelled: A SuperBrawl Roleplay

[veronicaaaahhhh]

TRIGGER WARNING
The following roleplay contains scenes that depict:
- Transphobia
- Substance Use
- Gender dysphoria 
- Mental illness 
THIS ROLEPLAY IS A WORK OF FICTION
READER DISCRETION IS STRONGLY ADVISED


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Allen Hill Live
New York City
Present Day

“Transgenders in sport: could this be the next civil rights frontier or have we pushed progressive politics too far? We’ll discuss this and more tonight, right here, on Allen Hill Live!”

And so, with two bars off a Seinfeld-esque bass riff followed by important-sounding music that Penny swore could have been ripped off of CNN, the show was live. For nearly three decades, Allen Hill Live had established itself as one of the leading news-interview programs in the country. Not that Penny ever cared to watch it or anything, but when the producers called her up, she figured why not go in, piss off a couple transphobes, and hype up Superbrawl in the process? At the very least, it would have made up for no-showing the press conference. And at most, it would have gotten Josh off her back just a bit.

“Live from the Liberty News Studios in New York,” the God-like voice-over spoke. “Here is Allen Hill.”

With his thick, bushy eyebrows flared up, the 102-year-old Allen Hill leaned over the desk and looked at the camera. “Good evening and welcome to tonight’s broadcast. Transgender athletes have become increasingly prominent in the world of sports over the last decade to much controversy. Conservatives are in outrage and so are the Progressives. To discuss this issue with me, at our studio, we have political pundit and the host of his own morning program on Digital One, Professor Benjamin Thomasson.”

“Thanks for having me, Allen.” Professor Thomasson squawked, leaning on his seat as his dead eyes looked directly at the camera.

“Also joining us from her home in London, England,” Allen Hill spoke. “Best-selling New York Times author of the popular Henry Peter series of children’s books, Ms. Jaqueline Karole.”

“Good evening, Mr. Hill.” Jaqueline sneered as she held up her obnoxious chin, sitting in front of what looked to be the study of her upscale apartment. 

“Joining us in the studio,” Allen Hill said. “Transgender activist, Ripley Newcastle.”

“Thank you,” Ripley daintily spoke as she brushed a lock of her hair from her undercut. 

“And last, but certainly not the least, the transgender woman in the center of the controversy, former WFWF World Champion, Penny Shannon, who is joining us from Tempe, Arizona.”

Penny adjusted the webcam on Scarlett’s desktop and smiled, saying, “Thanks a bunch for having me. I rea-”

“-Uhm excuse me? If I can just interrupt, Allen,” Ripley interrupted. “Ms. Shannon is a woman. I think you might owe her an apology for clearly not respecting her personal preferences in regards to the way she would like to be addressed.”

“Oh,” Allen spoke. “I didn’t mean anything by it. Penny, I’m sorry.”

“I’m cool!” Penny shot out. “I didn’t take any offense at all. I’m transgender and I’m a woman. Those things aren't mutually exclusive to me. Thanks though.”

“Alright,” Allen began, pursing his lips. “Let’s start with Professor Thomasson. Transgender athletes, are we taking our progressive politics too far?”

“Well, what we’re obviously seeing here is a societal decline due to the growing influence of Neo-Marxists at an age of such blatant Postmodernism, where the scientific understanding of human nature is just blatantly cast away in favor for a loosely-defined sense of individualism, reflected in the supposed struggled of a so-called marginalized group,” Professor Thomasson squawked in a single breath; looking like a version of Bert from Sesame Street that obviously hadn’t m*sturb*ted in decades. 

“So,” Ripley butt-in. “What you’re saying is that transgender people are making up their own identities?”

“Well,” Professor Thomasson squawked. “I don’t believe I said anything that constitutes as a dismissal of the transgender ideology. However, couldn’t it be argued that transgender people do make up their own identities in order to correctly adhere to the societal constructions inherent in the biological interaction between both the sexes?”

“Both the sexes?!” Ripley butt-in again. “Are you denouncing the presence of non-binary and intersex people?”

“Not at all,” Professor Thomasson squawked again. “I willingly used the term 'sex' over 'gender' in order to establish the biological differences inherent in the interactions seen in the majority of the human population.”

“But what about non-binary and intersex people?!”

“-Alright,” Allen Hill cut in. “Let’s bring this back to the topic at hand: do transgender athletes deserve a space in sports. Let’s bring this over to Penny Shannon-”

“-Mr. Hill, if I can interrupt,” Jacqueline Karole shot out, holding up her hand like a Girl Scout. “If I may, this is exactly why countless biological women in every corner of the globe are in this fight. Men, biological men – regardless of how they address themselves – are invading women’s spaces and claiming the voices of biological women for themselves.”

Penny lit a joint. Jesus, this was going to take a while. 

“And I think it is being reflected in this conversation, which revolves around the unequivocal rights of biological women who have been silenced for decades!”

“Alright then,” Allen Hill spoke. “Let’s turn it over to Ms. Karole. Do you think transgender women have a space in women’s sports?”

“Certainly not!” Jaqueline Karole said, throwing down a clenched fist on her desk.

“And why not?” Allen Hill asked.

“Because no amount of hormone replacement therapy can ever undo the amount of testosterone that has shaped the bodies of biological males for years, if not decades!”

“But studies have shown that regular exposure to gender changing hormones do affect muscle mass and bone density over a long period of time,” Ripley spoke. 

“But that doesn’t matter,” Jaqueline Karole shot out. “It changes absolutely nothing. We’ve already given up our bathrooms. What more do your people want from the oppressed and fetishized bodies of biological women?!”

“Recognition! That’s all we want!”

“Alright, let’s bring this back to Ms. Shannon,” Allen Hill sighed, leaning on his chair now as he massaged his temple. “Penny Shannon, as a transgender athlete, do you believe transgender women have a space in women’s sports?”

Oh God… Penny was going to need another hit off her joint. 

“Well,” Penny began, taking a deep breath. “I think the answer is a little complicated.”

“Elaborate,” Allen Hill pressed. 

Penny could feel every eye on her.

“I think it depends on the athlete and it depends on the sport.”

“Typical!” Jaqueline Karole sneered. 

“Excuse me?”

“That is such a typical answer from a female-presenting biological male who has built a career physically assaulting biological women inside the ring.”

“For your information, Karen,” Penny shot out.

“Karole.” Jaqueline Karole said. “The name is Jacqueline Karole.”

“My mistake,” Penny said. “But, if you actually take the time to look me up, you’ll find that an overwhelming number of my opponents have been men. Cisgender, 'biological' men. And even then, you will find that a surprising amount of wrestling promotions, like the WFWF, are inherently intergender. And this is a reflection of what our training is like: men and women, and everyone in between, we all go train in wrestling school together. And while our gender does play a very important role in the way we carry ourselves, the sport of wrestling is a vicious beast that will chew up anyone stupid enough to step inside that ring.”

“So, you’re saying that because you’re a professional wrestler, that gives you the freedom to physically assault biological women?”

“No, I’m saying that as a professional wrestler, I have the freedom to physically assault anyone I’m inside the ring with. You either have to be physically talented or a certified sociopath, or both, if you’re going to make it in wrestling. It doesn’t matter what you have between your legs or what your chromosomes are!”

“That is preposterous!” Jacqueline Karen shot out.

“Is it? Take my best friend, Scarlett. She’s a 5-foot-flat, 125lbs cisgender, biological woman who’s made a career out of beating men more than twice her size!”

“- That’s right!” Scarlett butt in, taking a drag off Penny’s joint as she popped her head in front of the webcam. “I’ve literally made a career out of making grown men cry!” 

“Well, that may be the case for professional wrestling, but what about other, more legitimate sports?” Allen Hill asked.

“I don’t have the answer,” Penny replied. “Like, I’m probably wrong for saying this, but I think it depends on the person and the sport in question. If someone transitioned early, then I don’t see why they can’t succeed in their chosen sport. If I had my way, the whole world would be more like wrestling- let everyone duke it out! At least we can actually recognize an actual world champion instead of lumping people into sexist categories.”

“So, you’re denying the validity of women’s sports?” Jaqueline Karole asked.

“I’m denying the validity of all sports!” Penny shot back. “Like seriously, why is it that a male basketball player can be regarded as the best athlete in the world in his sport, but a woman basketball player is only limited to being recognized as the best among other women in her sport? I think that’s bullsh*t!”

“I have a question for Penny Shannon, if I may interject,” Professor Thomasson squawked. “Are you telling us that you are willing to negate decades of hard work in the pursuit of equal rights between men and women by eliminating societal structures so that transgender athletes can have the so-called ‘fairness’ that’s been denied to them?”

“Did I f*cking stutter?” 

“Surely, you must recognize that there are inherent biological differences between men and women that warrant the need for division in order to perpetuate fairness among the sexes?”

“Oh my God,” Penny shot out. “Here’s my deal: men, women, non-binary people- regardless of what’s between their legs- are similar but not the same. But at the same time, I don’t think women’s sports is seen as important as men’s sports. That’s a fact. And if we’re unwilling to get past all that, we’re never going to get anywhere. So why not cut to the chase, and make sports and bathrooms equal for all by letting people share the same spaces anyway!”

“Allen, if I may?” Ripley spoke up. “While I understand the points Ms. Shannon has raised, I just cannot allow her internalized transphobia to go on unrecognized. I’ve struggled and have fought for my rights in women’s spaces, so have you. How can you just sit here and say you want to throw it all away?”

“Wait, my internalized transphobia?”

“Yes,” Ripley replied. “Your internalized transphobia and the way you are just blatantly disregarding the welfare of other transgender athletes who do not possess the privilege you carry. You sit here defending your presence in your profession, all the while not speaking up for other transgender athletes in your field.”

“The tr*nny has a point!” Jaqueline Karole shot out.

“You shut your mouth, Karen!” Penny shot back.

“Oh my God,” Ripley gasped. “Not only are you throwing other transgender women under the bus, but you’re also going against your own narrative by silencing a cisgender woman!”

“-Wait, you’re agreeing with this hatemonger?!”

“I think it also has to be considered that you have spent your entire career taking advantage of your privilege by co-opting the voices of the greater lesbian community and refusing to disclose your status as a transgender woman to a public responsible for making you a very wealthy woman,” Ripley answered.

“Because my gender isn’t anyone’s business!”

“But, you made a name for yourself in the world of sports and entertainment by presenting yourself as a lesbian.”

“I am a lesbian!”

“And that’s somehow less shameful than being a transgender woman?”

“Now, you’re putting words in my mouth.”

“Gaslighting,” Ripley said, crossing her arms. “You are literally gaslighting me right now.”

“I’m so not,” Penny shot back. “And I really don’t appreciate the way you’re just throwing that word out there when I have done nothing to harm you in any way.”

“Gaslighting.”

“Exactly!” Jacqueline Karole chimed in. “Mr. Shannon, as a biological woman and an ardent defender of civil rights, I do believe that you have done women athletes, and by extension the greater lesbian community, an incredible disservice by not taking any responsibility for your own behavior.”

“I agree,” Ripley said. “Your behavior has done nothing but setback the validity of women’s sports at the expense of transgender athletes who are literally dying for decency and recognition.”

“Because I pointed out that sports is inherently sexist?!” Penny shot out.

“I for one, will not stand for it,” Jacqueline Karole began. “Which is why I invite others, biological men and biological women, and the reasonable transvestite to join me in boycotting your upcoming pay-per-view event at Wembley Stadium.”

“I for one will be standing with Jacqueline Karole in the boycott of SuperBrawl unless Penny Shannon is publicly removed from the show by the appropriate officials,” Ripley said.

“I do believe that we are thankfully out of time,” Allen Hill spoke, leaning on his desk. “Professor Thomasson has been rather quiet through most of this conversation, so I will give him the final word. Professor Thomasson, your thoughts.”

Professor Thomasson, having remained completely unmoved through most of the broadcast, veered dead into the camera and squawked, “Well, if anything, tonight’s program has done nothing else but reinforce the fundamental problem of our time. The Postmodernist ideology among the Neo-Marxists continues to eradicate the very pillars of civilized society and we’re seeing that breakdown transpire amongst the Radical Left. I’m still baffled at the notion that such an ideology, which by the way is spreading globally at an alarming rate, could possess an inherent lack of unified beliefs necessary to warrant the so-called change that is being asked from the world.”

“… Professor, you've added absolutely nothing,” Allen Hill said. “And with that, I do believe we are out of time. I thank tonight’s guests for joining us. This has been Allen Hill Live. Join us tomorrow when I sit down with viral rap sensation, J-LB8. This is Allen Hill signing off from the Liberty News studios in New York.”.

[veronicaaaahhhh]

A Superbrawl Roleplay

Soundtrack available now on Spotify! 

[veronicaaaahhhh]

Chapter One: Coming Around Again


-1-


“Dr. Forrester will see you now.”

Taking a deep breath, Kathryn folded the old issue of People Magazine and tossed it back to the coffee table. God, it was moments like this when all she wanted to do was run outside, slip on her Walkman, light a cigarette, and just let the world stand still for a few minutes.

It wasn’t that she couldn't bear whatever Dr. Forrester had to tell her. Far from it. She was ready. But there was always something about parenthood that all the books, and movies, and TV shows seemed to leave out. 

Taking her purse, Kathryn rose from her seat and gave herself a moment to check herself in the mirror. She almost didn't recognize the gaunt face of the single mother of two that looked back at her.

“Alright, big girl,” Kathryn murmured to her reflection. “Whatever this is… Whatever they tell you, you can handle this. Whatever you do, just know that you’re doing it because you believe that this is right for your child. You’re not letting anyone down.”

Kathryn closed her eyes to bask in the stillness of the moment.

“You can do this, big girl,” Kathryn murmured again.

Spinning on her heels, Kathryn opened her eyes and knocked on the door of Dr. Forrester's office. After a couple beats, Dr. Forrester opened the door. There was a kind of age to him that Kathryn couldn't quite place. Almost as if he possessed this ageless sense of perpetual maturity- kind of like Ricardo Montalbán or George Hamilton, but without the accent. 

“Thank you, Doctor,” Kathryn spoke, her fingers digging into the clutch of her purse.

“Not at all,” Dr. Forrester spoke as he dug one hand into the pocket of his lab coat. “I hope we didn’t make you wait too long.”

“It’s alright,” Kathryn said. “How is Travis?”

“Why don’t you see for yourself,” Dr. Forrester replied, stepping aside.

A smile and a momentary sense of relief swept through Kathryn as she approached her child. Sitting on a small sofa, Travis played with his Teela: Queen of the Cosmos action figure.

“Hey you,” Kathryn spoke. “How’re you?”

Travis looked up at his mother and replied, “I’m bored.”

“I know, sweetie,” Kathryn said, reaching out to softly graze her son’s cheeks with her fingers. “We’ll be home soon, promise.”

Travis nodded, looked down at his toy, and continued playing.

“Hey champ,” Dr. Forrester cut in. “Think you can give your mom and I a few minutes? You can play with your toy outside.”

“Okay,” Travis said, pushing himself off the couch.

With Travis gone and the door closed behind them, Dr. Forrester approached his desk with an open arm, saying, “Please, take a seat.”

“Thank you, Doctor,” Kathryn spoke, sitting down as she watched Dr. Forrester do the same before her.

“Before I give my diagnosis, I would like to ask you a few questions,” Dr. Forrester began, clearing his throat.

“Sure.”

“Alright,” Dr. Forrester said as he started taking notes. “How old is Travis now?”

“He just turned seven last November.”

“And how long has he been displaying these… Tendencies?”

“For about as long as I could remember really,” Kathryn replied.

“Any specific age?”

“He was probably around three when he became aware, I guess that’s the correct word?”

“Have there been any specific moments where his behavior directly conflicted with these tendencies?”

“What are you asking me?”

“Has Travis had any moments he displayed interests that are common in other boys his age?”

“He likes wrestling and violent cartoons, but I’ve seen other girls his age take an interest in those things too.”

“Other girls?” Dr. Forrester spoke. “Ms. Shannon, please try to remain objective here.”

“Remain objective?” Kathryn shot out. “Why do you even think I’m even here?”

“Please understand, based on the evidence presented right now, your son is showing signs of GID.”

“GID?”

“Gender Identity Disorder,” Dr. Forrester spoke. “It’s a mental disorder. Now, there are ways we can treat this. There are some parents who do encourage this behavior. However, there are alternatives.”

“What are my alternatives?”

“There are programs that can successfully rehabilitate your son’s behavior-”

“Rehabilitate?” Kathryn spoke. “Are you talking about conversion therapy?”

“Yes.”

“No,” Kathryn shot out, feeling the sting of saline form beneath her eyes, “I am not sending my child away just so they can change him!”

“We are talking about a serious mental condition, a psychological disorder that can have serious repercussions to your son and the people around him if this goes on untreated.”

“You’re talking about changing my child.”

“Don’t allow your lifestyle to dictate what’s right for your child.”

“My lifestyle?”

“A history of male and female romantic, and possibly sexual partners, your child is aware of.”

“My sexuality has nothing do to with this,” Kathryn said.

“I believe it has everything to do with it,” Dr. Forrester said. “A single mother, who appears to carry feminist-oriented politics, raising two sons, without the influence of a male figure of authority can have a serious impact on the fragile psyche of her children.”

“I don’t believe what I’m hearing,” Kathryn spoke, leaning forward as she looked Dr. Forrester right in the eyes. “I have done nothing but try to be the best mother I can to my kids. If you think that anything I do outside of that is harming them in any capacity, you are sadly mistaken. Now, I came to you looking for an answer and I have that now. Thank you. I’m done here.”

“Don’t be neglectful.”

“And don’t let your own bias dictate the way you treat the people who come to you for help.”

With that, Kathryn Shannon picked up her purse, stood up, and sauntered out of Dr. Forrester’s office with no intention of paying him for the consultation.

<***>

There wasn’t much to be said on the drive home. With one arm out the window while she smoked a cigarette, Kathryn Shannon was left with more questions than answers.

To cut the quiet static that was lingering between her and Travis, Kathryn switched on the radio. Cyndi Lauper’s ‘Time After Time’ was mid-way through. She wasn’t in the mood for this song, but there was something comforting about the song that just seemed to anchor her at that moment.

“Hey mom,” Travis spoke. “Is there something wrong with me?”

“Think you can give me a sec?” Kathryn asked, killing the cigarette on the ashtray.

Travis nodded in response, and with that, Kathryn pulled over to the parking lot at the nearest McDonald’s.

“Why are we stopping?”

“Because I want to talk to you,” Kathryn replied, killing the engine. “Now, scoot over.”

Unbuckling her seatbelt, Kathryn gently pushed one foot over the driver’s seat of her Station Wagon and shimmied her way to the back.

“Mom, why did you bring me to the doctor?”

“Well,” Kathryn began, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “You’re different from other kids.”

“Is there something wrong with me?”

Kathryn wrapped her arms around Travis and pulled him close. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you. But other people do. And I don’t know what to do about that.”

“Because I think I’m a girl?”

There was nothing Kathryn could say. So, she kissed her child on the forehead and held him tight.

“Do you think I’m a girl?”

“It doesn’t matter what I think,” Kathryn murmured. “What do you think?”

“I don’t want to grow up and become a man,” Travis replied. “And I like being a girl.”

“Then, that’s what you are baby,” Kathryn said. “But you have to understand, even though I accept you. And your brother accepts you, other people might not.”

“Why?”

“Because people don’t know how to react to something they don’t understand.”

“Even grown-ups?”

“Especially grown-ups,” Kathryn replied, holding Travis tighter. “Listen, I don’t know what to do. I just know that I don’t want to jump into any conclusions or do anything that’s going to mess you up.”

“How can you mess me up?”

“You have no idea,” Kathryn chuckled. “All I want is for you to be happy and healthy. That’s it. That’s all I care about.”

“Then let me be a girl.”

Kathryn pulled away for a moment to look at her child. “You’re already a girl, sweetie. You were just born in the wrong body, I guess. We’re just going to have to take it day-by-day, that’s all it is. But there is something we can do.”

“What’s that?”

Gently, Kathryn held Travis by the chin and smiled. “We can start calling you something else. Travis isn’t a very girly name.”

“I don’t like that name.”

“I know you don’t,” Kathryn replied. “Do you have a name you like?”

“Not yet.”

“It’s okay, baby. We’ll figure it out,” Kathryn said, taking a quick look outside. “Hey, you hungry?”.

<***>

Hand-in-hand, Kathryn and Travis walked into the McDonald’s. The store was still in the middle of the lunchtime rush, but Kathryn didn’t mind. It took her forever to figure out what she wanted, even though she always ordered the same thing: a Fillet-O-Fish, small fries, and a tall sweet tea.

“What do you want, baby?” Kathryn asked.

“Same thing I always get, I guess.”

“Cheeseburger happy meal with no onions, no ketchup, and extra pickles?”

“Yup!”

“Wanna split McNuggets with me?”

“Totally!”

“Then let’s do it.”

The old couple at the other end of the line had received their orders. And with that, the shift in the line brought everyone a step closer to lunch.

“Mom, look!” Travis shot out, pointing to the ground. “A penny!”

“Huh,” Kathryn said, holding on to her daughter’s hand as she reached over to pick up the coin. “Penny for your thoughts?”

“I like Penny,” Travis said. “It’s a nice name.”

“Penny Shannon,” Kathryn smiled. “It has a nice ring to it.”

“Hey mom, that's what I want for my name.”

With those words, Kathryn swung Penny into her arms. “Welcome to the world, Penny. Let’s get our McDonald’s on and celebrate!”.


-2-

Tempe, AZ

Six Months Ago…

“Penny,

We’re just across the street at Mama Sandoval’s. Scarlett just flew in. Wayne’s making paella. Come by when you’re ready.

XOXO

Vanessa”

The note from Vanessa was the first thing Penny saw when she had come to. And naturally, Penny took the note, crumpled it in her hand, and brought it close to her chest. With nothing else, she covered herself beneath the sheets and went back to sleep. It seemed like sleeping was the only thing Penny could do in these last few weeks; like her body was actively shutting down to give in to the rest she had deprived herself of for so long.

Penny didn’t bother to notice the time, but knew a good couple hours had passed until she finally had the will to emerge from her slumber. She let herself lie in bed for a little bit. She checked her phone to scroll through her news feed and whatnot, but there was something about the world that left her feeling so emotionally drained that eventually, she had to put her phone away.

“Let’s get up, big girl,” Penny murmured as she pushed her body off the mattress.

With no one home, Penny figured she had all the time in the world to herself to get ready. Based on Vanessa’s note, it wasn’t like they were expecting her any time soon. Penny had some time to herself. Taking her vape pen off the nightstand, Penny took a hit that was deep enough to keep the brainstorms at bay long enough to take a shower and be the least bit presentable to Vanessa and the rest of her clan.

She had finished her shower and was in the middle of grabbing her clothes from her suitcase when she heard the knock on the door.

“Hey,” Scarlett spoke. “You alright?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.”

“Can I come in?”

“Give me a sec?”

“Sure,” Scarlett replied. “But I’m telling you now, it’s nothing I haven’t already seen.”

“Hold on,” Penny shot out, grabbing her clothes before hastily slipping them on to open the door. “Hey.”

“Hey you,” Scarlett said, smiling at Penny as she walked into her old bedroom. “How are you?”

“Okay, I guess,” Penny shrugged as she turned away from Scarlett to continue digging through her suitcase.

“You’ve looked better.”

“I’m sure,” Penny said, retrieving a black pouch now. “You just get in?”

“Yeah,” Scarlett replied, shrugging as she dumped herself into the mattress and reached out for the vape. “Think I get a bit of this?”

Penny sat next to Scarlett and replied, “You don’t even have to ask.”

“I know. But still, I know things weren’t exactly cool with us the last time we saw each other.”

“It’s no big deal,” Penny shrugged, opening the pouch. “I get it.”

“You’d think that’d make me feel better,” Scarlett coughed, mid-pull. “But you had just won the WFWF Championship and I was-”

“-An arrogant little sh*t?”

“Yeah,” Scarlett shrugged, taking another hit. “I should have been a lot more supportive of you.”

“It was what it was,” Penny said, turning to Scarlett as she unzipped the pouch. “Besides if I was really mad at you, I probably wouldn’t be letting you get high off my supply.”

“That’s fair,” Scarlett coughed, looking over at Penny. “… Is that what I think it is?”

“It is exactly what you think it is,” Penny replied as she withdrew two bottles of pills, a vial, and a closed syringe from the pouch.

Scarlett sat up and took another pull off the vape as she watched what had been an integral part of Penny’s daily ritual for decades.

Opening the bottles, Penny looked at Scarlett and asked, “What day is it today?”

“Sunday,” Scarlett replied.

Penny gazed up for a moment as she did a little bit of mental math, trying to calculate her dosage for the day.

“Miss a day?”

“About four,” Penny replied.

“Four?” Scarlett coughed again. “Sh*t.”

“Yeah,” Penny replied, as she guzzled a handful of pills.

“Do you need water or something?”

“Nah,” Penny replied, shaking her head as she opened her mouth before Scarlett to reveal four blue pills and two white ones beneath her tongue.

“Right,” Scarlett nodded, looking over. “What do those do again?”

“Well,” Penny replied, snapping the vail open. “The blue ones are estradiol. It’s basically estrogen. And the white ones are spironolactone, they stop my balls from making testosterone.”

“Hardcore,” Scarlett said, pointing to the vial. “I know what that is.”

“Progesterone,” Penny said, as she emptied the vial into a clean syringe. “This keeps my boobs big.”

“You know,” Scarlett began. “I’ve seen you do this more times than I could count, but this part of the process is still something I can’t get used to.”

“It’s pretty hardcore, huh?” Penny asked, carelessly sterilizing her thigh with enough rubbing alcohol to drown a cockroach.

“I’ll say,” Scarlett shrugged, not being able to turn away now as she watched Penny plunge the needle into her thighs. “You good?”

Penny took a moment to throw the needle in the garbage can and douse alcohol all over her thighs. “I am now.”

“Great,” Scarlett said, kicking herself off the bed. “Because I’m f*cking starving!”

“Been a while since I’ve had your dad’s paella,” Penny replied, making sure she said it right by pronouncing the double L's in the word 'paella'.

“Same,” Scarlett said as she stopped just inches from the door. “Hey Penny…”

“Yeah?”

Without any hesitation, Scarlett turned around and threw her arms around Penny. 

“You're not dying are you?”

“No, I'm being nice.”

“Scar?”

“I hate that all this stuff had to come out the way it did,” Scarlett replied. “And I’m glad you came to us. I really don’t want to think about what’d happen if my mom and my dad weren’t around.”

“Me too, dude,” Penny shrugged. “Me too.”.

<***>

It was the intoxicatingly rustic scent of Wayne’s paella that greeted Penny and Scarlett when they reached Mama Sandoval’s backyard. For Penny, there was just something so old and foreign about the way the McGurks lived their lives as a family.

Growing up with her mom and her brother, it was just… Whatever. People came and went. That was fine. It was chill. Penny wouldn’t trade what she had for anything. But there was this unspoken sense of tradition and pride that just came off in everything the McGurks did as a family. And late Sunday lunches, like this, was just another one of the many long-celebrated traditions that made them so special.

“Dude,” Scarlett murmured, leaning close. “Give me your vape!”

“Uhm, when was the last time you got baked?”

“Last time I was back in the States?”

“Yeah,” Penny sighed, resting her hands on Scarlett’s shoulders as they ventured into the backyard. “You should be good.”

“I don’t feel it yet.”

“Wait for it, hun.”

In the distance, Wayne crouched before a large, circular pan covered with tinfoil that stood barely a foot over the ground. He tended to the fire, carefully adjusting the heat with firewood.  

“Right on time,” Wayne smiled, looking up as the two girls came into the yard. “Hey Scar, think you can give me a hand?”

Scarlett was about to take the step towards her father, when Penny reached out for her wrist and pulled her close. “How’re you?”

“Starting to feel it,” Scarlett nodded, looking back at Penny. “But I think I can manage. Why is it obvious?”

“Yeah, a little bit,” Penny replied, grinning as she looked at the glaze that was starting to takeover Scarlett’s eyes.

“Eh,” Scarlett shrugged, walking away. “Should be fine.”

Not wanting to feel completely useless, Penny approached Vanessa and Mama Sandoval as they set table. “Hey, need a hand?”.

<***>

Penny extended her help after lunch by offering to wash the dishes. And oh boy, were there a lot of them. But she didn’t mind, it gave her something to do. And more importantly, it gave her the chance to distract herself. Right now, that was the thing she needed the most.

The afternoon sun broke through the blinds, illuminating Mama Sandoval’s kitchen. It was old, but in a way that gave the space so much charm and history that it was hard for Penny to imagine a time when this home wasn’t at all busy.

In the distance, she watched Scarlett and Wayne talking in the yard. Over lunch, Wayne had asked Scarlett if she was up for working a few shows while she was in town. And Scarlett, being the total daddy’s girl she was, gave in and made a remark about how he was going to regret booking her in the first place. For a moment, Penny hoped she’d be in town long enough to see that happen.

She was just about done when she heard Vanessa speak behind her, “Need a hand?”

“I’m good, Mrs. Mc’G,” Penny replied, turning her head to Vanessa for a moment.

“Please,” Vanessa said, reaching for a rag as she approached Penny. “I insist.”

“If you’re gonna insist,” Penny shrugged, handing her a rinsed plate.

“Penny,” Vanessa began. “Why have you been avoiding me since you got back from Cardiff?”

Penny didn’t know how to answer that question. Instead, she just focused on the open faucet before as she began scrubbing the next plate in the pile.

“You’ve been back for several days now,” Vanessa said. “All you’ve done in that time is lock yourself in your room. It isn’t like I didn’t see the match against EBR.”

“I don’t want to talk about,” Penny said, looking away as she shook her head.

“Then start,” Vanessa said, reaching over to close the faucet.

Penny closed her eyes and sighed, “Are you mad?”

“No.”

“Are you disappointed?”

“No,” Vanessa answered. “I just want to know what happened.”

“I don’t know what I was expecting, you know?” Penny began. “I’m a former World Champion… I had been gone for so long too… I would have thought that those things would have meant something. But it didn’t.”

“I think being on that podcast and being forced to reveal yourself the way you did, might have affected the reception you got over there.”

“I think so too,” Penny nodded. “I mean, as it is, I don’t really like EBR, you know? I don’t like what he did to you before. He used you to get to the Big Guy. And it just bothered me how easy it is for everybody to forget that… I guess somewhere in the middle of the match, I just snapped. I stopped caring and I just wanted to beat him.”

“Penny,” Vanessa said, leaning close as she placed a supportive hand on her shoulder. “What he did to me all those years ago isn’t your burden to bear.”

Penny was about to speak, but she stopped herself before anything could come out of her mouth- letting her jaw hang out as she closed her eyes and turned her head.

“What is it?”

Penny held up both her arms as she took a step backward. “It’s nothing.”

“Penny, please?”

“It’s so stupid,” Penny began, looking away as she wiped the tears from her eyes. “… It’s been years since my mom died, and I don’t know? It’s like there’s this void that was empty for such a long time. And then I met you guys, and suddenly, that void wasn’t there anymore… And it’s because of you. Even with the stuff that happened with Scarlett because of Trace, you were always there for me.”

“Penny…”

“I know it’s really f*cking weird,” Penny snorted, looking up for a moment. “But you’re like a mom to me. And knowing how that injury has affected you for years, having seen it for myself… I just can’t let something like that go. I’m sorry.”

“Come here,” Vanessa hushed, reaching out to hold Penny’s hand in hers. “Do you want to know a secret?”

Penny nodded, using a knuckle to wipe away the tears before they could even come.

“I haven’t let it go either,” Vanessa said. “And it isn’t like I haven’t tried, I have. But when I feel that dull ache in my joints, I can still see that cold, calculated look in EBR’s eyes. What he did to me was deliberate. He left me with something I am forced to live with for the rest of my life.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Hush, now,” Vanessa murmured, clasping Penny’s fingers. “You did nothing wrong, Penny. If anything, as heinous and as misguided as it may appear to others, you had every right to behave the way you did.”

“I didn’t let you down?”

“No,” Vanessa replied. “Our family has had to live through the consequences of crimes that have gone unpunished for far too long. And for once, we will end it on our own terms.”

“I won’t let anyone him hurt us again.”

Vanessa closed her eyes. For a second, her heart skipped a beat as once-forgotten memories came rushing back to her… All the pain. The hurt. The complete violation of her dignity... All for the glory of the freakshow so many cherished as a sport. It had felt so real to her again.

Opening her eyes, Vanessa smiled at the daughter she had quietly adopted all those years ago. “Nothing can hurt me anymore. All I care about is you, Scarlett, Wayne, and Mama Sandoval. The rest of the world can burn, for all I care. We are McGurks, and McGurks never forget.”

Penny closed her eyes and nodded.

“I’ll be with you every step of the way,” Vanessa continued. “Regardless of how dirty or unpopular our actions will be, we will make EBR pay for what he’s done. And through that, we will end this curse by sending a message to every single person who has ever betrayed our kindness.”

“Right on.”

“However, I have one condition,” Vanessa said. “I don’t want this hatred to consume us any more than it already has. When this over, we will let go of this anger and we will not allow it to dictate or justify anything we do moving forward. No matter how hard it is. Do you understand?”

“Yes.”

“Good,” Vanessa hushed, holding Penny in her arms. “Tout ira bien, bébé.”.


-3-

The Whistle Stop,
Little Olympia

No one that came into the Whistle Stop really cared for the music that Kevin Shannon carefully curated for the store. Why would they? Most of the people who came into the Whistle Stop either came in for a soda and a bag of chips or a pack of cigarettes. There was never any time to appreciate music when someone already knew what they wanted the moment they came into the store.

But Kevin didn’t mind. What he was doing, more than anything, was a public service that openly educated the patrons of his store.

God, Kevin wanted a cigarette.

Kevin waited for the pot of coffee to brew as he sat behind the counter and opened up today’s newspaper. He had to give it to himself- putting The GoGo’s 'Vacation' back-to-back with The (English) Beat’s 'Save it For Later' was brilliant. It was the perfect way to kick off the workweek, for most, with two incredibly pleasant songs that represented post-punk.

He was nodding along to the song, humming the everlasting plea to not be let down, when his phone rang. Kevin grabbed the phone off the counter to find a Facetime call from his sister, Penny.

Kevin swiped the call open as he leaned back and greeted his sister with a wave, “Sup Penny?”

“Sup, bro?” Penny giggled.

“And here I was having such a nice morning,” Kevin chuckled.

“Oh come on,” Penny said, flipping him off. “You know you had to expect this?”

“But I did,” Kevin replied. “That’s why I’m choosing to ignore you.”

“But you took the call?”

“Out of obligation.”

“Obligation?” Penny shot back.

“That’s right,” Kevin began. “I barely f*cking see you enough as it is, and because we’re related, I am obligated to answer the call.”

“That’s sweet?”

“… And I was having such a nice morning.”

“That’s fine,” Penny shrugged. “And besides I’m sure whatever you’ve got prepared for that Monday morning mix of yours is going to make you feel so much better.”

“As a matter of fact, it is.”

“So, what’s next? A little Big Star?”

“As a matter of fact, I do have Big Star coming up next on the playlist.”

“Let me guess, ‘Thirteen’?”

“And why would I play ‘Thirteen’?”

“Because it’s a song that everyone likes?”

“Which is exactly why I refuse to play it!” Kevin shot back. “Instead, I’m playing ‘September Gurls’. Not only does it better reflect the true spirit of Alex Chilton’s songwriting, but it maintains the mood of the song that came before it.”

“Oh, another song that only hipsters know about?”

“Exactly,” Kevin nodded. “And it’s a lesser-known song that deserves just as much attention as ‘Thirteen’.”

“Quick question,” Penny shot out. “Who else is in the store to appreciate this morning’s mix?”

“Why don’t you see for yourself,” Kevin shot out, double-tapping the screen of his phone as he stood up to give Penny a panoramic tour of the store.

Granted, there was no one in there but it was early and an hour and a half shy of the morning rush. But it gave Penny a nice look at the place she had spent most of her teens and early twenties working in every day, except holidays. Reaching the front of the store, Kevin saw Tori come inside.

“Kevin, sweetie, what are you doing?” Tori asked, stopping where she was with an eyebrow raised.

“It’s Penny,” Kevin replied.

“Oh,” Tori said, changing her mood a little as she approached the counter. “Hey Penny!”

“Hello sister-in-law,” Penny spoke. “How fares ye?”

Kevin titled the phone downwards to show Penny the growing bump on Tori’s belly.

“What do you think?” Tori asked.

“Do you know what the baby’s gonna be?”

“A boy,” Kevin and Tori replied, looking at each other.

“For now…”, Penny murmured.

“I don’t care what this baby’s gonna be,” Tori said, lifting her curls as she tied it back in a bun.

“Exactly, as long as the kid has taste.”

“Sweetie,” Tori sighed. “Don’t say that. I actually want our baby to fit in!”

“Hey!” Kevin shot back, holding himself in a somewhat awkward position until Tori stopped him with a kiss.

“Kidding-ish,” Tori smiled.

“Hey Kev,” Penny shot out. “It’s not going to kill you to put on a little B*Witched every now and again.”

“I totally agree,” Tori nodded. “And you liked that One Direction song I played the other night.”

“One Direction is fine,” Kevin said. “But I draw the line at BTS.”

“Hey Kev,” Penny shot out. “Think I can steal you for a few?”

“Sure,” Kevin nodded, looking back at the phone before turning back to Tori. “Think you can watch the store for a bit?”

“Totally!”

Kevin poured himself a cup of coffee, grabbed his earphones and a pack of cigarettes from the counter, and hurried outside.

On her end, Penny waited for Kevin to set up. She took a moment to look outside the window and watched as Scarlett stepped outside Mama Sandoval’s home for her morning run. It wasn’t something she’d openly admit, at least to Kevin, but she missed him and the way they could talk sh*t about the most trivial things. 

It took a minute, but Kevin came back on the line and asked, “What’s up, sis?”

“You and Tori,” Penny shot out. “How long has it been?”

“About ten years now,” Kevin smiled. “Can you believe it?”

“Has it been that long already?”

“Yeah,” Kevin nodded. “She’s pretty great, isn’t she?”

“You’re a lucky man, bro,” Penny sighed.

“You know what I love about her?”

“What?”

“There are things that piss her off, you know?” Kevin shrugged, lighting a cigarette. “But she doesn’t let it affect her enough to ruin her mood. She’s got a lot grace like that.”

“Kinda like mom,” Penny shrugged.

“Yeah, I don’t think I can remember a time when mom was visibly upset,” Kevin said. “Even when the cancer affected her.”

“I know what you mean…” Penny said. “Do you miss her?”

Kevin shifted his gaze to the side for a moment as he took a long drag off his cigarette. “Yeah, a lot. Especially with the baby on the way. Have you been thinking about her?”

“Yeah,” Penny nodded. “Especially with everything going on, you know?”

“I know,” Kevin nodded. “That interview you had on the Ben Logan podcast’s been blowing up. I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about,” Penny shrugged, turning her head. “I brought this all on myself.”

“How are you holding up?”

“I’ll live.”

“You can always come home, you know?” Kevin said, leaning as close as he could. “There’s not much in Little Olympia anymore, but we’re here.”

“I know, bro,” Penny smiled softly. “It’s not that I don’t have moments when I don’t miss you-”

“-Thanks.”

“Because I do,” Penny said. “But right now, I can’t help but feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be. I don’t know if that makes any sense.”

“Trust me,” Kevin smiled. “It makes perfect sense.”

“They’ve taken me as one of their own.”

“Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Look, you and I have always been the outsiders,” Kevin began. “I don’t want to say it’s mom’s fault, but she had a lot to do with that. Personally, I don’t mind. I really don’t care for most people.”

“Let’s see, you do play pretentious music at the store…”

“Let me finish?”

“Go.”

“All I’m saying is that we’ve always been a relatively left-of-center people, regardless of how mom tried to normalize our lives, you know? But you and me, we’ve always kept the rest of the world at a distance- you especially, and I get why…” Kevin sighed, taking a drag off his cigarette. “I don’t know, the older I get, the more I want to open up to the world.”

“What are you saying?”

“Don’t close yourself off to the people who accept you, and maybe don’t make a big deal about it,” Kevin shrugged. “From what you’ve told me about the McGurks or the Deans… I mean, sure they’re normies, but they sound like good people. Just don’t blow it away by being surprised when someone loves you back.”

“You’re right,” Penny sighed. “… What changed us?”

“Me?” Kevin sighed, taking another drag off his cigarette. “I found someone so willing to give me all the love in her heart at a time when I thought I was the biggest piece of sh*t in the world. And then I married her. What do you think changed you?”

“Truth?” Penny sighed, sinking into the mattress. “I found people who accepted me and it freaks me out.”

“Then do something about it, dude. Before it’s too late,” Kevin said, taking one last drag before he killed his cigarette. “I gotta get back inside.”

“Let me say goodbye to the missus?”

“Of course,” Kevin smiled, holding the phone as he sat up, suddenly distracted. “What the f*ck is that?”

Holding up the phone with the screen reversed to show Penny the store, Kevin walked back into the Whistle Stop to the obnoxiously loud sound of One Direction’s ‘One Thing’ and the sight of his wife, standing in the middle of the store, looking right at him as she sang along.

“So, get out, get out- get out of my head, and fall into my arms instead,” Tori sang.

Kevin couldn’t help but grin as he approached her. “You know what this song’s about, right?”

Tori held out her hand, playfully sighing as she sang, “I don’t, I don’t- don’t know what it is, but I need that one thing!”

“It’s about sex,” Kevin said. “Teen sex.”

“So, get out, get out- get out of my mind,” Tori continued. “And come on, come in- come into my life.”

“There are teenagers out there, literal kids, who are parents now because of that song.”

“I don’t, I don’t- don’t know what it is, but I need that one thing,” Tori continued, dancing as she approached Kevin. “You’ve got that one thing!”

“Penny’s still on the phone,” Kevin said, curtly. “She wants to say goodbye to you.”

Tori had obviously watched the video more times than any woman her age reasonably should. As the bridge came on, Tori held her hand on her belly, and swayed herself from side to side, just like the boys did it in the video. Wrapping her arms around Kevin, she sang, “… You’ve got that one thing!”

“So, get out, get out- get out of my head!” Penny shot in, singing. “And fall into my arms instead!”

“Penny!” Kevin hissed. “Don’t encourage her.”

“It’s too late,” Tori said, relaxing into Kevin’s arms as she smiled at Penny.

As much as she wanted to annoy her brother, the whole scene was so unreasonably sweet that Penny was set on closing the call. She allowed herself to sing along for just a little bit before closing the call to the sight of an undeniable smile from her brother and his wife.

Penny figured that it was best to end it there… As good as the moment felt, it left her with a lot to think about. As much as she resisted it, she couldn’t deny that she had moments where she missed Mary so much that it just broke her.

With nothing else to quiet the tremors that started to overwhelm her entire being, Penny reached for the sheets and covered herself with the blankets, counting backward until she stumbled back into the cold, yet welcoming arms of sleep.

[veronicaaaahhhh]

Chapter Two: The Steps


-1-

Buckinghamshire, England

The Day After Fright Night

For the first time, in a very long time, Penny actually woke up before 09:30 in the morning! She didn’t need to sleep past the multiple alarms or anything. She just woke up feeling incredibly refreshed that if she didn’t do something about it, she was just going to waste the day away. Penny and Vanessa still had about a day ‘til their scheduled flight back to Phoenix, leaving them with more than enough time to take in the sights of the city. 

Penny pushed herself off the bed and grabbed the vape off the nightstand. Taking a deep hit, Penny pulled back the curtains and let the sunshine break into the room. It just felt so nice and warm that Penny let herself get high by the window.

Reasonably baked to get through the day as if she was walking on f*cking sunshine, Penny grabbed her phone and headed to the bathroom. She hit shuffle on the last playlist she had on and soon after found herself bopping around the bathroom in her underwear to ‘The Steps’ by HAIM. Smiling at her reflection, for once, Penny sang as loud as she could before turning on her heels to get her shower ready.

But before she could undress to hop into a hot shower, her phone rang.

“… Mary,” Penny murmured, reaching down for the phone as she sank to the toilet seat, remembering what had happened to Drake the night before. 

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to take the call. She just didn’t want anything to spoil the first good moment she’s had in months. Whatever Mary wanted could definitely wait. But Penny loved her too much to do that to her.

Penny swiped the call and not a moment later, there was Mary, her ex-wife, sitting in her office. The look on her face showed nothing more than a pissed-off woman who was literally trying to stop a dumpster fire.

“Oh my God, Penny,” Mary shot out, leaning into the phone. “Thank God you picked up!”

“Is everything okay?”

“Okay?” Mary chuckled, looking upwards as if she was on the verge of breaking into tears. “I'm not okay, Penny. I'm pretty far from okay right now. The company is literally falling apart because you and Josh have both abandoned your corporate responsibilities all because of a stupid grudge neither of you can let go.”

Oh God, Mary lit a cigarette. “And worst of all, Drake got hurt. And I let it happen.”

“I’m sorry, but this isn't your fault...”

“I know it's not my fault, but it doesn't change the fact that I let Drakz in,” Mary shot back, visibly shaking as she took a long drag. “I wasn't supposed to be at the front desk. Martha, that girl we hired a couple of years ago to take my place while I started taking on communications, she had to go on leave, and I figured, hell, I've done that job before, I could do it again.”

“Baby...” Penny sighed. 

“Don't, please don't,” Mary sighed, looking up as her eyes began to swell. “You and Josh have no idea how hard this has been for me since you both went back into wrestling. Not only do I have to worry about my own work, I have to do both your jobs for you because right now there is no one else who can manage this company but me.”

Mary turned her head, closing her eyes as she took another long drag off her cigarette. “I let him come into the office. It wasn't like I didn't know who he was, I did. I just froze. When I saw him coming my way all I could think about was the way he assaulted you in front of me and as much as I wanted to move, I was paralyzed.”

“I didn't want Drakz to hurt me,” Mary broke. “And because of that, he got to Drake- a boy I've literally watched grow up in front me. And I had to watch him assault Drake. It was like watching him hurt you all over again.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I mean, I shouldn’t be surprised,” Mary said. “This is exactly what happens whenever you and Josh go back to wrestling. You both disregard your own welfare and responsibilities that the other people in your lives end up taking the brunt of it. I could put up with it because we were married. But as your co-worker, I’m telling you right now, I’m not gonna deal with it.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“I just need you back here in Atlanta,” Mary replied, massaging her temples. “I can’t deal with this alone. Please…”

“Okay,” Penny nodded.

“Thank you,” Mary nodded. “I’ll see you in a couple days then.”

“Yeah,” Penny sighed. “I’ll see you.”

Penny grabbed her vape and took a long, deep pull. That wasn’t necessarily the conversation she wanted to have with Mary- considering the last one involved them amicably signing their annulment papers.

“It’s funny,” Penny sighed, suddenly aware she was on the verge of breaking into a monologue, in her underwear, with no one looking. “I can relive the most physically traumatic moments of my life without batting an eye. LOL. But I can’t even bring myself to deal with a woman who a small part of me still holds as the love of my life and all things this business has done to her.”

Penny wiped away the tear that was on the verge of falling from her eyes.

“What’s wrong with me?” Penny sighed, hitting her vape. “I’ve endured more pain than anyone would be willing to withstand in a lifetime. I mean, yeah, any idiot can log on to LiveLeak right now and watch a video of me getting stabbed in the eye with a shard of broken glass all they want, but has anyone ever stopped to think about the things I’ve done to, and continue to do to myself just to actually like the person I see in the mirror?”

“Take HRT,” Penny said. “Those first few months when you’re on it are such a b*tch to endure. You literally feel parts of your body you never wanted cramp up and shut down. And the good parts of it? Like growing boobs- it hurts. But you go through it knowing that you’re doing everything you can to get even an ounce of the girlhood that was denied to you at birth. And you welcome, even celebrate the pain.”

“Electrolysis, breast augmentation, voice alteration, the daily doses of hormones I’m forced to take for the rest of my life…” Penny trailed. “These are all things I do to become the person I want to be. Every day I spend alive is another battle to keep the dysphoria at bay, because once it hits, it hurts harder than any chair shot to the head ever could.”

“When I get dysphoric, I shut down. I disappear,” Penny sighed. “I do things that go against the grain of everything I stand for because I am so thirsty for even the tiniest hint of validation- that I’ll do anything. And I mean anything! Sometimes I don’t even know if the person I am and the person I present myself to the world to be are one and the same. I don’t like what dysphoria does to me and when I see the Penny Shannon the world sees on TV every week, I’m looking at someone I just want to be like. A perfect, normal girl. Ironic, huh?”

Penny closed her eyes and took another hit off her vape. “I wish I didn’t have to be this way… Jumping in and out of dysphoria. That’s why Mary means so much to me… She was my rock that made me feel like I could actually be the girl I want to be. The girl I would have been, minus the baggage, had she just been born in the right body.”

“I guess it’s why this match at SuperBrawl has become so personal to me in so many different ways,” Penny sighed. “On one hand, I’m defending the honor of the woman who’s essentially become my adopted mother, and in the process, I’m also defending the honor of my adoptive family. And with that, I’m taking a stand against a morally reprehensible veteran whose sins have been magically forgiven without having uttered a single apology. That’s wrong and it just shows how feeble-minded wrestling fans are at this day and age. They complain about everything without having a critical thought in their brains.”

Penny hit her vape again. “But at the same time, I’m fighting another battle… I never revealed my gender because all I ever wanted out of this sport was to be accepted as just another woman wrestler. And most of the people who chanted for EBR that night have taken that against me… They had no problem with me before. But just because I’m a chick with a d*ck, they felt the need to unleash all their hate and ignorance and prejudice on me.”

“I felt it,” Penny chuckled. “And sometimes, when I close my eyes, I can still feel it. Right now, I am driven by a seething rage I am trying very hard to manage until SuperBrawl. Because I don’t have a lot going on for me right now other than the fact that in a few months, I am going to unleash all that rage at EBR and his fans, and I’m going to restore my family’s honor while doing it.”

Taking one last hit off her vape, knowing full well she was going to feel it all in just a few moments, Penny ended her monologue with a final sigh. This was too much to think about too early in what was supposed to be an otherwise good day.

And so Penny got up, took off all her clothes, and stepped into the now scalding hot shower with every intention of washing, and possibly f*pping, away all the sadness inside her. At least enough to have a good day.

“Just one day to feel even remotely good,” Penny murmured. “Is that too much to ask for?”.

<***>

“Good morning,” Vanessa said, looking up from her book as Penny stumbled into the hotel café in a hoodie and pair of sunglasses.

“Hey,” Penny sighed as she slumped into her seat across Vanessa. “Did I miss breakfast?”

“By a good two hours,” Vanessa replied, folding her book down as she leaned over. “Are you okay?”

“I was? I am?” Penny trailed. “I really don’t know anymore.”

“What happened?”

“Mary called,” Penny sighed.

“It is it about what happened last night to Drake?”

Penny nodded.

“How is she holding up?”

“Not well,” Penny replied, pouting as she dropped her elbows into the table. “She’s stressed and I just want to leave.”

“But?”

“How'd you know there’d be a ‘but’?”

“Call it a mother’s intuition,” Vanessa smiled softly. “But honestly, what’s keeping you?”

“I just don’t know if I’m ready to face her, or Josh, for that matter,” Penny replied, picking at her fingernails. “Being with you guys back in Tempe has been like a vacation.”

“And you're always welcome,” Vanessa sighed, reaching out to take Penny’s hand in hers. “But maybe if you start dealing with your problems back in Atlanta, you might start to feel better.”

“I hate you sometimes,” Penny groaned, rolling her eyes.

“It’s part of being a mom,” Vanessa chuckled.

“I know. Doesn’t it suck though?”

“Of course it does,” Vanessa replied. “But these are things I wish I could have told myself when I was your age.”

“Getting old must suck?”

“Eh,” Vanessa shrugged, reaching out to sip from her cup of tea. “It has its moments.”

“I’ll say,” Penny shrugged, burying her face into her elbows.

“Tell ya’ what,” Vanessa began, tapping on Penny’s arms. “We have one more day before we fly back to the States, so why don’t we make the most out of this momentary reprieve before it’s too late.”

“What do you wanna do?” Penny sighed, looking up.

“Well, we are in a foreign country,” Vanessa grinned. “And you do have your vape pen with you, right?”

“Uh-huh…” Penny nodded.

“Wanna get baked and trip out on the local museum of modern art?”

Penny grinned back at Vanessa and withdrew the pen from her pouch.

In turn, Vanessa reached out into her purse and withdrew a pair of sunglasses. “Let’s do this?”

“Hell yeah,” Penny nodded.

And with that, Vanesa dropped a couple of quid on the table, reached for her purse, and held her hand out to Penny. Looking up at her adoptive mom, Penny grabbed the pen from the table and took her hand. Despite Vanessa's limp, both women rushed out of the hotel café and made a beeline to the lobby, much to the chagrin of the handful of tourists and stuffy businessmen that surrounded them.

The doorman stepped aside as he saw Vanessa and Penny rushing towards the door, revealing the sight of a handful of protesters that had gathered outside the hotel. They looked like an army of Karen's with a smattering of once-edgy men that obviously informed their opinions by listening to the Ben Logan podcast.

“There she is!” one protester called out.

“TERF IS NOT A SLUR!” the protesters began chanting, in broken unison. “TERF IS NOT A SLUR!”

“Traitor!” another protester cried out at Vanessa.

“STOP. INVADING. WOMEN’S SPACES,” the protestors chanted, having gotten bored with their original chant. “STOP. INVADING. WOMEN’S SPACES!”

Instinctively, Vanessa reached out for Penny’s hand as she presented herself before the protesters.

“Yeah, let’s go back in,” Vanessa sighed, guiding them back towards the door now. “I think I’ve got a better idea.”.

<***>

“You’re right,” Penny sighed. “This is a better idea.”

“Told you,” Vanessa murmured, almost sleepily.

Due to the presence of angry Karen’s and out-of-touch, muscle-bound, frat bros in their late forties that were bound to harass them wherever they went, Vanessa decided that the next best thing would be to get stoned in her hotel room and then check out the hotel’s spa, The Secret Garden.

And just like an actual secret garden, the spa was the kind of place that compelled its clients to surrender their problems at the door. The intoxicating scent of jasmine-infused eucalyptus filled the air as the light of what seemed like a thousand tea candles surrounded them in a calm, welcoming, yet intimate glow.

For the afternoon, Vanessa opted to choose the Empress Deluxe package, which consisted of a bath infused with hibiscus tea, a foot-scrub, a 90-minute massage that combined Thai and Swedish acupressure techniques with a chai-scented hot compress, and an avocado facial.

“Hey Vanessa,” Penny spoke, with slices of cucumber covering both her eyes as her body melted into the hot compress beneath her nape.

“Hmm…” Vanessa murmured, drifting.

“Thank you,” Penny sighed. “For everything.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Go for it.”

“… You and Wayne,” Penny began. “How do you do it?”

“I honestly don’t know,” Vanessa chuckled. “I mean, we argue and everything. But I think we just like each other enough not to hold it against each other.”

“It shows,” Penny yawned. “You’re both so involved with each other, you know?”

“Mhm.”

“Me and Mary, do you think we can work it out?”

“That’s not up for me to say,” Vanessa replied. “But if you both like each other enough, I don’t see why you can’t resolve whatever problems you have with each other.”

“I can only hope,” Penny sighed. “Not a lot of people are lucky enough to have what you and Wayne do. Like, I’m surprised that Scarlett’s an only child.”

“That’s not true,” Vanessa smiled, turning to Penny. “We have you. Besides, I talked Wayne into getting a vasectomy years ago.”.


-2-

Atlanta, GA

Tired and still jetlagged, Penny strolled into Championship Connections with her luggage in tow and a grande triple espresso on ice to keep her going.

“Welcome back, Ms. Shannon,” Martha the middle-age receptionist spoke.

“Okay,” Penny began as she strolled her luggage towards the front desk. “Remember that thing we talked about?”

“Right,” Martha replied, easing back. “… Welcome back, Penny.”

Penny sipped her iced triple espresso and smiled back, “That’s more like it. Is Mary in yet?”

“She’s in her office.”

“Good,” Penny said. “And Josh?”

“Mr. Dean isn’t back yet,” Martha replied.

“… I see,” Penny said, tapping on the desk one last time before strolling away. “Thanks.”

Inside the elevator, Penny took repeated sips off her iced triple espresso, knowing full well that it was probably going to f*ck her up if she kept going. For a moment, she wondered what the latest office gossip was because Penny could swear she felt every eye on her the moment she reached the door to Mary's office. From their annulment to whatever mood Josh was in, Penny figured the office had a lot to talk about when they weren't looking.

Opening the door to Mary’s office, Penny stopped where she was and watched her ex-wife at work. If Penny’s truest instincts came out inside the ring, Mary was power came through in the way she handled her work. The woman was completely in the zone- maintaining her focus on what Penny assumed was a conference call, as she calculated whatever figures she was looking at on her laptop.

“Look,” Mary began. “The first quarter of 2021 is coming up and we barely have any promotional initiatives. We are looking at both the Super Bowl and SuperBrawl, two high-profile events taking place barely six weeks apart, with clients who are expected to be prominently featured on both shows. I need big ideas and concepts before the end of the day. Do you understand?”

Mary noticed Penny at the door and took the moment to wave her inside. “Give me a minute?”

Penny nodded and sat down across from Mary.

“Good,” Mary said, typing away. “I’m setting an inter-department meeting for later this afternoon at Conference Room C. We’ll discuss this then.”

Mary folded her laptop and set down her earbuds as she turned her attention to Penny. “Did you just get in?”

Penny pointed at her suitcase. “What do you think?”

Mary leaned into her seat and allowed her body to rock on the chair for a moment. “Thanks for coming.”

“I’m sorry for disappearing.”

“Don’t be,” Mary said, turning her head. “I get it. We both needed the space.”

“So, what do we do?”

“Get back to work,” Mary replied. “I still don’t know what I’m going to do about Josh.”

“Look, he’s a little on edge right now.”

“I’ll say,” Mary shot out, reaching out for a cigarette.

Leaning forward, Penny took the cigarette from Mary’s hand and asked, “What are you doing?”

“Coping,” Mary replied, looking at Penny as she pushed her hand away to light the cigarette.

“This isn’t you.”

“What else am I going to do?” Mary shot back, blowing smoke. “Drink, maybe light a joint in the middle of the day?”

“Let me deal with Josh right now. Until he chills out, there’s no getting through to him.”

“So what? I’m just going to avoid him until after SuperBrawl?”

“Pretty much.”

“How professional!” Mary said, taking a drag.

“How about this?” Penny shot out, turning her head. “I’ll handle my work and Josh’s work, that way no one else but me answers to him.”

“You sure about that?”

“Mhm,” Penny nodded, biting her lips a little. “Just get me up to speed so I can start.”

“Okay,” Mary nodded, stubbing out the cigarette. “Thank you.”.

<***>

Dean Manor

Penny decided to make the trip to Dean Manor fairly early in the morning. The Dean’s lived out in one of the classier subdivisions, where large concrete walls held the considerably wealthy at arm’s length from the outside world.

Inside her rental car, Penny waited to be let in when she saw Drake jogging towards the mansion, despite the sling around his arm. Opening the window of the car, Penny stuck out her head and called, “Yo Drake!”

“Aunt Penny?” Drake shot out, approaching the car now as he slid down his headphones.

“What did I tell you about that Aunt thing,” Penny said.

“Why do you think I call you that?” Drake shot out, panting as he leaned close to the window. “What are you doing here?”

“Thought I’d come over to have a little chat.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” Drake said. “I’ll be in the office later today.”

“Which is exactly why I came here, so are you going to let me in?”

Drake’s security card opened up the gates, allowing them park inside the driveway before the home that Sports Illustrated once described as ‘Colonial with modern touches.’

“Want anything to drink?” Drake asked, leading Penny into the kitchen.

“I’m good,” Penny shrugged, before catching a 1L bottle of red Gatorade Drake hurled her way. “… Thanks.”

“It’s no Hawaiian Punch, but it’s close enough,” Drake shrugged as he cracked open a bottle of water.

“Thanks,” Penny shrugged, looking down at the bottle. “Think we can talk somewhere private?”

“Think we should be good in the backyard,” Drake said, turning away now as he forced the screen door open. “After you, Aunt Penny.”

Raising an eyebrow, Penny gave Drake the evil eye as she walked past him to sit down on the comfortably lavish stretch of lawn furniture they kept in the yard.

“So,” Drake began, closing the screen door behind him. “This is about what happened with Drakz, isn’t it?”

Penny nodded.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Drake said, taking a seat before Penny. “Well, what do you want to know?”

“How are you feeling?”

“Like sh*t,” Drake replied, grasping his arm. “But I’ll live. I’m going to get him sooner or later, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m going to finish training and when I do, the first thing I’m doing is go after Drakz.”

“That’s not how it works. If you go after Drakz after you graduate, you are only going to give him what he wants,” Penny said. “This isn’t even your battle to fight. This is Josh’s!”

Drake stomped his foot, “But he attacked me!”

“As far as Drakz is concerned, you’re nothing more than collateral damage!”

“Then what do you expect me to do? Move on?”

“Yeah,” Penny shot out. “No matter how much you train or how good you’ll become, nothing will prepare you for Drakz. He is that calculated. Take it from me.”

Biting his lip as he tapped his foot, in obvious discomfort, Drake began scratching at the label of his water bottle. “It’s not fair.”

“It’s not.”

“And I’m supposed to forgive and forget?”

“Just don’t let it happen to you again, hun.”

“You know what’s f*cked up?” Drake began, peeling the label off the water bottle. “I knew exactly what he was going to do the moment he came in. But I hesitated. And you know why? I listened to Josh, and you, and Wayne. And you all kept telling me the same sh*t over and over, and look what it got me!”

“You have no idea how easy it is to give in to your anger that you end up doing something you’re going to regret.”

“Don’t change the topic, Aunt Penny,” Drake said, turning his head. “The fact is I should have gone with own instincts before he had the chance to get to me. That’s it.”

“Look, you’re angry now,” Penny said. “But don’t let beating Drakz fuel you through training. Just learn from it and make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

“It’s not going to happen again,” Drake said, standing up. “Ever. Thanks for stopping by, Aunt Penny.”

“Drake,” Penny sighed, standing up. “You know that I’m only telling you this because I’ve been there myself and I don’t want to see it happening to you.”

Drake closed his eyes and nodded. “I know.”

“You’re going to have your own Drakz to deal with one day,” Penny said. “We all do. Just don’t let this situation sour the start of what could be a long and promising career.”

“Said the transgender aunt with one eye.”

“Not anymore,” Penny chuckled, pointing at her surgically-repaired right eye. “We good?”

“We will be,” Drake shrugged.

“Good, now come here,” Penny said, hugging Drake.

After Drake gave her the codes to unlock the electronic gate from the inside out, Penny took a moment to herself. As much as she was glad to talk to him, Penny couldn’t help but wished she was around 10-years younger and blissfully unaware of all the responsibilities that came with adulthood.

Earlier that morning, as she was brushing her teeth, Penny watched a video about an elderly Japanese gentleman who had decided to call it quits and spend the rest of his life on a remote island, thousands of miles away from civilization. And at that moment, Penny got it. She understood what would compel someone to snap and just want to abandon humanity altogether.

Penny wondered if she could do it and what her breaking point would be. Then again, she cared enough about the people around her too much to just abandon them like that.

Penny sighed, got up from her seat, and saw Nikki standing by the doorway.

“Hello stranger,” Nikki said, smiling, as the limp compelled her to take slow steps.

“Hey gorgeous,” Penny said, walking over to Nikki to give her a hand.

In turn, Nikki wrapped her arm around Penny’s elbow. “You really don’t have to, but thank you.”

“Come on,” Penny shrugged. “How’re you holding up?”

“Better,” Nikki replied. “The CBD treatments have been helping. At least I can walk. Well, sorta.”

“If you think that the treatment is great, wait ‘til you feel the side-effects of a little THC.”

“Cut it out,” Nikki giggled, playfully slapping Penny’s arm before taking a seat. “So, when did you get in?”

“Yesterday,” Penny sighed, sitting down beside her. “Came straight from the airport too.”

“Oh honey, you must be jetlagged.”

“Among other things.”

“I take it you saw Mary…”, Nikki said.

“Yeah, spent the whole afternoon together.”

“That’s good.”

“It was civil,” Penny replied. “All we did was talk business.”

“Do you miss her?”

Penny looked at Nikki and sighed, “I guess.”

“Penny…”

“Fine,” Penny shot out, rolling her eyes. “I miss her.”

“Either way, I’m sure she misses you too,” Nikki said. “And based on what I’ve seen, I’m sure she’s glad you’re back home.”

“It wasn’t fair to dump all my work on her.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Nikki said.

“What do you expect me to say? She made it clear: as long as wrestling is in the picture, there’s no way she can continue to be with me,” Penny said. “And let’s face it, wrestling is never going to go away.”

“You know what?”

“What?”

“I wished I had the luxury of being a complete outsider to the business.”

“What do you mean?”

“When you’re outside of the wrestling bubble, it is so easy to detach yourself from the drama that goes in it,” Nikki said as she lit a cigarette. “When you’re inside, regardless of how far you are from everything, it’s going to affect your life one way or another. Take SuperBrawl, I am not thrilled at all about Josh coming back and facing Drakz again. You saw what happened, Drake ain’t even a part of it, but it’s already affected him.”

Nikki took a drag. “I’ve already prepared myself for the worst. And I’m not happy about it, because all I can do is live with it.”

“Josh has a good chance of winning, you know that right?”

Nikki took another drag. “I’ve prepared myself for that too. I’ve prepared myself for either outcome. All I can do is hold on to the fact that we have enough money in the bank to take care of our future.”

“That’s real,” Penny nodded, taking a deep breath.

“I’ve known Mary for years,” Nikki said. “And I saw how happy and content she became when you were together. If she’s taking on the extra responsibilities right now, it’s probably because she misses you just as much as you miss her.”

“Still doesn’t change anything.”

“She’s very protective of you,” Nikki said, taking a drag. “I’m not saying she’ll change her mind, but if you can show her that you can actually take care of yourself, other than just staying alive, I think she just might come around.”

“I’m not holding my breath,” Penny shrugged, “But whatever happens, happens I guess.”.

<***>

Several Weeks Later…

Penny couldn’t believe how easy it was to slip back into the same routine of getting up before 7:00 in the morning to spend nine hours, often more in the office. Now, it wasn’t that she had missed it. But there was something about doing the same sh*t over and over again that made her feel… Stable.

It was a chore. It was boring and victories came in relatively small doses that Penny used to wonder if it was even worth it, but it was a life. Whatever it was, it beat spending half the day in bed. These days, she actually found herself craving sleep. Not as an escape, but as something to get her through to move on to the next thing.

It was an improvement Penny allowed herself to think about as she watched Josh Dean leave the building from the window of her office. Granted, actively avoiding her best friend because she just couldn’t deal with him was a different thing.

Penny turned away from her window and approached her desk. For a moment, she considered sitting back down and working a little more while she still had the mood for it. But instead, Penny folded her laptop and took a long hit off her vape.

She knew it could to bite her in the butt, but screw it. Taking the elevator down one floor when she could have just walked, Penny went to Mary’s office and knocked on her door.

“Come in,” Mary spoke, from the other side.

“Hey, you busy?” Penny asked, gently closing the door behind her.

“What do you think?” Mary asked, sipping coffee as she kept her gaze on her laptop.

“I think it’s a quarter to nine and that maybe you should call it a night?”

“I wish,” Mary chuckled. “But there’s just too much to do.”

“Look,” Penny said, approaching the desk. “I’m already back here. You can relax now.”

“Maybe you can,” Mary shot out. “But I really can’t afford to stop right now, let alone have a distraction.”

“You don’t have to do this,” Penny said, closing the laptop screen.

“What the f*ck? I was in the middle of an e-mail.”

“Which you can send tomorrow!”

“Oh my God,” Mary said, seething as she glared at Penny. “I really don’t have the time for this. So, why don’t you just go home and let me work in peace!”

“It’s late!” Penny shot back. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“You are in no place to lecture me right now when I’ve been the only person keeping this whole company functioning for the last several months!”

“I’m here aren’t I?” Penny said, pointing up her finger for a second. “You asked me to come back here because you were stressed, and I did. I have been making it a point to get as much done as I possibly can, in case your head has been so far up your overworked a** to notice.”

Mary crossed her arms and looked at Penny. “I think you should leave.”

“Not until you tell me what’s going on!”

“I really don’t want to get into this right now,” Mary spoke. “Please, just leave.”

“No,” Penny chuckled sheepishly. “You always do this: you bury yourself into work when something’s bothering you, and then you shut down, and then you take it out on me. And because we both know that I love you so f*cking much, I literally exhaust myself to make you happy.”

“F*ck you, Penny,” Mary shot back, rising from her seat. “You have no right telling me that you exhausted yourself for my benefit when all I ever did throughout our entire relationship was take care of you. And protect you- I swear to God, it was like dealing with a child.”

“I’ve been taking care of myself for the last thirty years of my life!” Penny shot out.

“Have you really?” Mary asked. “Or is your perception of reality really that warped after spending half your life getting high and getting in the head? Up until the time we got together, all you did was coast through your life, just getting high, and jumping from one paycheck to another.”

“Why do you think I quit the first time? You became my rock. Doesn’t that mean anything at all?”

Mary closed her eyes. “No, it doesn’t. Because look what happened? You went back into wrestling.”

“Because there was something missing in my life that this job just can’t fulfill,” Penny said. “I’m a wrestler and as much I’ve denied it, I have dreams that only wrestling can give me.”

“And I need stability in my life,” Mary said. “You can’t just want something because I want it too. I’m not some lesbian manic pixie dream girl that can change your life for you. I have my own problems, and taking care of yours is something I just can’t allow myself to do anymore.”

“And why not?”

“Don’t make me say it,” Mary said, looking away as her lips trembled.

“I guess that’s the difference between us,” Penny said, walking away. “No matter how angry I could ever be at you, it would never stop me from telling you how much I love you.”

There was more Penny wanted to say, a lot more obviously. But instead, she held herself back and walked out of Mary’s office. Penny allowed herself to slump against the door and stand there as the crunching ache in her chest spread across her entire body.

“Penny?” Mary asked, behind the door.

“I’m leaving.”

“-Wait,” Mary called, opening the door.

“What?”

“I love you.”

Penny couldn’t tell what it was, but a familiar spark overwhelmed her as she motioned forward, closed her eyes, and kissed Mary. Mary, in turn, didn’t hesitate. Throwing her arms around the neck of her ex-wife, Mary pressed back and parted her lips; allowing their tongues to graze before coiling together.

Closing the door behind them, Penny and Mary found themselves on the carpeted floor beneath them; their legs entwined now as their bodies rocked into each other… Hands scattered everywhere, popping buttons, and pulling shirts tucked beneath unbuckled belts.

Both women held on to their kiss, as Penny’s slipped her hand under Mary’s skirt. The soft moan that escaped her lips compelled Penny to draw her kisses towards that spot just beneath her nape, exciting Mary as she pulled down Penny’s jeans just enough to reveal herself.

Feeling herself drip as her body throbbed to Mary’s touch, Penny held on to her lover’s body… Letting out a whimper as Mary’s fingers did everything right. In turn, Penny sunk her teeth into the bare spot of skin on Mary's shoulder as her fingers slid beneath the moist stretch of cotton between her legs.

Almost instinctively, Penny and Mary pulled away from their kiss as their bodies leaned into each other for support while their fingers danced a sloppy, yet precise rhythm…


-3-

Christmas Eve

Tempe, Arizona

The McGurk’s of Tempe celebrated Christmas Eve a little differently from other American families. A lot of it had to do with their heritage.

Mama Sandoval’s ancestry alone carried blood from both the Yuma Quechan and the Spanish Mestizo of Mexico; the traditions of which she had passed on to her children and grandchildren. There was the Irish-Italian of her late husband, Frank, who unfortunately cared little about the rich culture that preceded him. And with the addition of Vanessa’s Anglo-French Canadian descent, it was only natural that Mama Sandoval’s home offered a considerably eclectic smorgasbord of dishes during Christmastime.

And unlike other American families who often celebrated Christmas during the day itself, the McGurk’s of Tempe partook in an old Spanish celebration called ‘Nochebuena’, a feast reserved exclusively for the eve of our Lord’s birth. Presents are exchanged at midnight, with most celebrations often wrapping up during the wee hours of the morning.

Mama Sandoval’s Nochebuena celebration was something she took very seriously, with preparations beginning as early as the week before… Much to the chagrin of her eldest, and some would say closest, granddaughter, Scarlett Quinn- who, at her grandmother’s request, was forced to spend the evening in a dress.

“We do this every single year, Abuelita,” Scarlett sighed, rolling her eyes as she watched her grandmother command the kitchen. “You really should chill.”

“And how is the horchata coming along, Neita?” Mama Sandoval asked, obviously ignoring what seemed like a plea from her granddaughter as she withdrew the perlin (roast pork loin) from the oven.

“I’ll get to it,” Scarlett sighed, walking over to the refrigerator. “It’s not like it takes forever to make.”

“Neita…”

“I’m doing it, I’m doing it,” Scarlett sighed, again, as she took out a cheesecloth in a punchbowl from the fridge and shut the door with her heel.

Scarlett took a hit off her own vape pen before dumping the contents of the cheesecloth into a larger punchbowl. And with the aid of a handheld blender, Scarlett held the rim of the bowl as she blended the horchata when the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it!”

“No,” Mama Sandoval spoke. “Finish the horchata first.”

“But it might be Penny.”

“I don’t care who it is,” Mama Sandoval said. “You can see her when you finish the horchata.”

“Yes, Abuelita,” Scarlett nodded before taking another hit off her vape pen.

<***>

“Tell me again why coming here was a good idea?”

“Because I didn’t want you spending Christmas alone,” Penny replied.

Mary took a moment to take in the sound of what she could only assume was traditional Spanish Christmas music playing on the other side of the door.

“That’s not true,” Mary said, crossing her arms. “I have the cats.”

“Yeah,” Penny shot back. “Which is why I got Martha the Receptionist to look after them.”

“You really need to stop calling her that,” Mary said, turning her head. “It isn’t that I don’t like the McGurks, it’s just…”

“I know how you are around people you don’t know.”

“Which is most people.”

“But they’re my family as much as you are,” Penny said. “And for once, I would like to spend Christmas around the people I love.”

“I know,” Mary sighed, smiling. “… Hmm, think we should ring the bell again?”

“Yeah, I think so…”

Penny was just about to ring the doorbell a second time when Mama Sandoval opened the door with a warm, yet considerably excited smile.

“Penny!” Mama Sandoval called out as she gave Penny a big hug followed by two kisses on both cheeks. “And you must be Mary!”

“Yes, it’s so nice to finally meet yo-”

Before Mary could even finish her sentence, she too was caught in the grasp of Mama Sandoval’s warm embrace and customary two kisses on both cheeks.

“I’m so glad to finally meet you,” Mama Sandoval. “We’ve heard such wonderful things.”

“Thanks,” Mary said, somewhat awkwardly as Mama Sandoval let her go.

“Please come inside. Dinner is almost ready!” Mama Sandoval said, stepping aside as she adjusted her shawl. “Scarlett,” Mama Sandoval called out. “Penny and Mary are here!”

The sound of traditional Spanish Christmas music eventually gave way to the noise of scattered chatter as Mama Sandoval ushered both women into her home. There were so many people inside the house that Penny could have sworn that half the neighborhood was celebrating the evening with them!

“Don’t leave me,” Mary hushed, leaning close to Penny as Mama Sandoval escorted them to the kitchen.

“Oh sh*t!” Penny shot out, approaching the kitchen now to find the greatest Christmas miracle the world had ever seen: Scarlett Quinn in a tight, almost revealing, little black dress, with heels!

“One word and I will kill you, and Mary too,” Scarlett said, as she dumped an entire bottle of coconut-flavored rum into a punchbowl. “No offense.”

“I understand,” Mary said.

“Good,” Scarlett said, scowling, as she opened another bottle of coconut-flavored rum.

“Hey Penny,”

All three women turned their heads to the sight of Wayne McGurk standing by the door that led to Mama Sandoval’s backyard.

“A word in your ear?”

“Yeah,” Penny said, nodding before turning her sights back to Mary. “I’ll just be a minute.”

“Okay…” Mary nodded, letting go of Penny’s hand as she watched her follow Wayne into the backyard.

“Hey Mary,” Scarlett shot out, holding up a red plastic cup. “Horchata?”.

<***>

Following Wayne into the backyard, Penny couldn’t help but find herself taken at just how pretty the backyard was for Christmas Eve. Christmas lights lined the fences, with the hushed golden glow of lanterns scattered around several neatly set picnic tables.

Wayne knelt before the excessively large pan of paella he was cooking at the other end of the yard. Looking up at Penny, he asked, “Hey think you can get me that bottle of broth by one of the tables?”

“Sure,” Penny shrugged picking up the bottle before approaching him.

“Thanks,” Wayne said, taking the bottle of broth from Penny as he gave himself a minute to assess the paella. “Paella’s looking a bit dry.”

“Okay,” Wayne said, looking up at Penny as he tossed her two rags, “I’m gonna need you to lift the foil for me. Normally, I don’t really like touching the paella, but I’ve never cooked for this many people before.”

“Well,” Penny shrugged, leaning over the pan as she carefully lifted the foil. “There’s a first time for everything.”

Wayne watched Penny carefully pull the foil back halfway. The scent of saffron over fried bits of chicken, seafood, and chorizo wafted above them.

“Whatcha think?”

“I think it smells good,”

“It’s getting there,” Wayne said, as he gently poured over the broth over the paella and gently stirred the dish with a spatula. “But the rice is nowhere near cooked.”

“Think it’s gonna burn?”

“It could,” Wayne said, looking up at Penny for a moment. “Some people like that. I don’t.”

“Man, with all this food, you’d have enough to feed a small country ‘til New Year.”

“I’d imagine,” Wayne chuckled, looking at the paella one last time before stepping away. “There, that should do it. Let’s cover it up. Thanks, Penny.”

“No problem,” Penny smiled, reaching over to put the foil back over the paella. “So, what did you want to talk to me about?”

“Nothing, really,” Wayne said, placing a cigarette between his lips. “You’ve been around a lot and I haven’t had the chance to spend time with you.”

“That’s it?”

“Just about,” Wayne nodded, lighting a cigarette. “But now that you’ve mentioned it, there is something I want to bring up with you.”

“What’s up?”

“Reckon you heard the news about me at SuperBrawl?”

“How could I not?”

Wayne took a drag and smiled at Penny. “Now, I’m not worried about my match.”

“You’re not?”

“Yeah,” Wayne chuckled, blowing smoke as he pulled the cigarette from his lips. “But I’m worried about yours, with Vanessa involved and whatnot.”

“I’m sorry for getting her dragged into it.”

“Nothing to be sorry about,” Wayne said. “To be honest, Vanessa’s needed this for a long time. But I know you, you’re going to throw everything you’ve got at EBR. Wouldn’t even be surprised if you killed him, to tell the truth.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Penny chuckled. “But I think I’ll get him close enough.”

“That’s the thing though,” Wayne said, bringing the cigarette to his lips again. “I can get where he’s coming from. You’re looking at a veteran who is trying very hard to atone for the sins of his past. If he isn’t saying much, it’s probably because he reckons his actions’ll speak more than an apology ever could.”

“Huh, I never thought of that.”

“The thing you need to keep in mind is that he’s coming into SuperBrawl knowing he’s going to be on the defense. He’ll be watching every single move you make and he’s probably going to try to put you out early without doing too much.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah, I’ve seen it before,” Wayne said, taking a drag. “He’s a changed man and because of that, he won’t just be wrestling you. He’ll be wrestling his demons.”

“That’s great,” Penny shot out. “He’ll do half of my work for me.”

“No, it’s not like that,” Wayne said. “Because if you and Vanessa push him too far, that demon will come out. And there’s no telling what he’ll do then.”

“I understand,” Penny nodded. “Thank you.”

“Don’t let your emotions get the better of you,” Wayne said. “For sure you and Vanessa’ll go rogue and I’m not gonna stop or condemn either of you from doing that. Just be strategic with whatever you do and never take your mind off the goal.”

“To hurt him?”

“No, to beat him. Clean.” Wayne said, kneeling back down to check on the paella. “Alright, dinner should be ready in a few minutes.”

<***>

Before long, it was time for the McGurk’s Nochebuna dinner. A crowd of roughly around twenty-five people, give or take, took their seats among the tables scattered around the backyard. Aside from the deserts, Vanessa took care of the seating arrangements. Much to Scarlett’s surprise, she had placed her daughters and Mary in what was effectively ‘the older kids’ table at the far end of the lawn where they’d left alone.

By the time Mama Sandoval had set the last dish down on the buffet table, Scarlett and Mary had made their way through the spiked horchata. Penny took hits from her vape pen as she watched her adopted sister and her girlfriend drunkenly exchange stories about all their shenanigans. There really wasn’t anything for her to add to the conversation. So, she just listened as she felt a sense of calm she hadn’t felt in a very long time.

“Alright,” Mama Sandoval began, addressing her guests as she stood before the buffet table. “Dinner is just about ready. I’m just very thankful I can share this day with all the people who matter the most to me- family and friends, new and old. The only thing I ask for before I feed you all is a moment of silence to say grace. Now, I understand that many of us share different beliefs, while others may not-”

“-Sorry Abuelita!” Scarlett shot out with a mouthful of ice. “Love you!”

“I love you too, Neita,” Mama Sandoval giggled before turning her attention back to her guests. “So, all I ask for is a moment of silence to give thanks to whoever you may or may or not pray to.”

In collective unison, everyone lowered their heads to share that moment of silence… Everybody except Scarlett, who was scrolling through her phone.

It was in the middle of that silence when Penny felt Mary’s hand linger over hers. And as both women turned to face each other, their fingers entwined in a tight embrace.

“Love you,” Mary hushed, quietly.

“Love you,” Penny hushed back.

“Gay,” Scarlett hushed, leaning over both girls. “So f*cking gay!”.

[veronicaaaahhhh]

Chapter Three: Paralytic States

-1-

Penny, Where We Last Left Her at the Start of this Roleplay…

“Oh my f*cking God,” Penny shot out, hitting the blunt. “Could you believe the nerve of that girl?”

“Uhm, Penny?” Mary coughed.

“That b*tch actually had the nerve to tell me- me, among all people- that I have internalized transphobia! Like, m*therf*cker, don’t take all your frustrations out on me because I disagree with you that you end up siding with some TERF b*tch who got rich over a bunch of stupid books about pre-pubescent wizards people write smut about.”

“Penny…”

“No, just one sec,” Penny continued. “Because I’m really pissed off right now… Like what the actual f*ck?! Because, we’re supposed to be on the same side and I don’t think I said anything wrong, right?”

“Pen-pen,” Scarlett groaned.

“And another thing,” Penny continued, hitting the blunt one more time. “I went into that show under the assumption that I was going to be the only one interviewed. Instead, they load it up with a bunch of stuck-up, attention-starved, pseudointellectuals that did nothing but wave their d*cks and their p*ssies around by talking over me the entire time.”

“Penny, shut up and look behind you,” Mary groaned, planting her face into her hand. “The call is still on. They can hear you.”

“They can what?!” Penny shot out, turning her head as she took a look at the now bewildered and visibly upset group of panelists from the show. Jaqueline Karole appeared to be crying as she held up her phone, obviously recording everything that was happening. “Oh my God, are you crying?! All because I said that-”

Before Penny could even finish her tirade, Scarlett shot herself over and shut the laptop off.

“Great,” Mary shot out as she stood from Scarlett’s bed and left the room.

“Wait, what’s going on?”

“Penny,” Scarlett grinned, “I think you're about to get canceled!”.

<***>

Within minutes, the recording of Penny’s post-show tirade hit social media. And because of that, Mama Sandoval’s home was buzzing with activity. Scarlett commanded the couch, lazing away as she followed the #PullOutPenny, #IStandWithJacqueline, and #CancelSuperBrawl hashtags on Twitter.

To keep up, Wayne and Vanessa went through the ordeal of having to put up their own Twitter accounts, something they both swore they’d never do. Mama Sandoval, bless her, was in the kitchen preparing snacks for what would probably be a very long night.

And then there was Mary- who didn’t seem at all phased by what was going on. If anything, it was as if something inside her came alive. She didn’t break a sweat as she hustled between her laptop and her phone, working with her team to develop a crisis communication strategy.

“Oh, check this out,” Scarlett said, launching herself from the couch. “You’ve already been covered by BuzzFeed, The Huffington Post, YahooSports, the New York Post, and Breitbart- who seem surprisingly supportive of you.”

“Ew!” Penny shot back, sitting on the floor with her legs crossed. “… I didn’t say anything bad, did I?”

“No, you didn’t,” Vanessa said, rolling her eyes as she looked through Twitter. “But how you said it wasn’t the best…”

“Yeah,” Scarlett snorted. “You’re problematic.”

Vanessa raised her eyebrow and gave Scarlett the evil eye.

Putting his phone down on the coffee table, Wayne couldn’t help but chuckle.

“What’s so funny?” Penny shot out.

“I just think this is stupid,” Wayne said, resigning himself as he held up both hands.

“Right?!” Penny shot back. “Like, has anyone ever watched WFWF? It’s amazing no one’s ever tried to shut down the fed, let alone cancel it!”

“I’m not even gonna argue with that,” Wayne chuckled, turning his head as he opened a can of beer.

“Well, it’s a different, more sensitive time,” Vanessa shrugged, crossing her arms. “Hardly anyone was talking about these issues when we were active wrestlers. We were just blissfully unaware of how hard it was for some people, that its natural people are going to be extra sensitive right now.”

“So, you reckon it’s going to blow over?” Wayne asked, sipping his beer.

“Yeah,” Vanessa shrugged. “Unless people have nothing better to do with their lives but expend themselves by complaining about Penny online.”

“Ha!” Scarlett snorted. “How boomer of you.”

“I told you to watch it with that boomer stuff,” Vanessa said, turning to Scarlett. “I’m not even a baby boomer.”

“But that doesn’t matter,” Scarlett said.

“How could it not matter?”

“You’re old!” Scarlett said, throwing up her arms. “Point is, none of that matters because literally 90% of the people online have nothing better to do but m*sturbate and feel bad about themselves. Of course they’re going to find any opening to take down someone, with money, they have a problem with!”

“And how’s that Penny’s problem?” Wayne asked.

“She said a bunch of things that pissed people off,” Scarlett shrugged.

“But I didn’t do anything to hurt anyone!” Penny shot back.

“Doesn’t matter,” Scarlett said. “You’re the worst of the worst right now. I say you own it.”

“This is where it makes it hard for me to grasp this cancel thing,” Vanessa spoke, rising from her seat to pick up a bottle of wine. “It’s not that I don’t support it, I do. I think these movements have done a lot of good by pointing at, and in some cases taking down, a lot of actual injustices in the world.”

“But?” Wayne asked.

Vanessa opened a bottle of wine and poured herself a glass. “I just don’t like it when people think they can apply that same fury into something that bothers them.”

“How dare you!” Scarlett shot out.

Vanessa sipped her wine. “What is it now?”

“You just invalided the entire internet,” Scarlett replied. “I think that counts as a microaggression.”

“A microaggression?”

“That’s right,” Scarlett shot back. “A microaggression. Because you are so blind to your own inherent privilege that it’s just so easy for you to invalidate someone’s God-given right to be offended at even the tiniest thing that makes them uncomfortable!”

With nothing but silence in the room as Wayne, Vanessa, and Penny gave Scarlett the evil eye of death. Mary pushed aside her laptop and stormed out of the room.

“Mary,” Penny shot out, rushing to her feet to follow her. “Wait!”

Scarlett pulled out her vape pen from her hoodie and took a long pull, asking, “Was it something I said?”

Penny followed Mary out of Mama Sandoval’s home and found her sitting on the porch, lighting a cigarette.

“Sorry about that,” Mary said, blowing smoke off to the side as she watched Penny sit down beside her. “I didn’t mean to storm off on everyone like that. I just needed time to process the last hour.”

“I get it,” Penny sighed, looking up at a starless night. “I’m sorry I had to put you out.”

“Penny,” Mary began, sighing as she pulled the cigarette away from her lips. “There’s nothing to be sorry about. I just forget how narrow-minded people can be.”

“You don’t think I did anything wrong?”

“No,” Mary replied. “But I think you were stupid enough to inadvertently take things too far. Like, how could you not realize they didn’t automatically shut off the call?”

“I just assumed!”

“Well next time, don’t assume.”

“Oh trust me, there isn’t going to be a next time.”

“This is what I’m talking about,” Mary said, turning her head as she took another drag off her cigarette. “You get yourself into these situations and I usually have to pull out of it. If we’re going to work, I need you to take active steps at becoming a little more aware.”

“That’s fair,” Penny nodded.

“On the other hand,” Mary chuckled, rolling her eyes. “And I’m not saying this to encourage you, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I’m having fun right now. Dealing with the comms strategy for all these different athletes can get pretty routine after a while. Coming up with a last-minute crisis strategy for a dumb girl I love who said the right thing at the wrong time? That’s rewarding.”

“You’re a lot more twisted than you give yourself credit for.”

“I know,” Mary smiled, taking another drag off her cigarette.

Penny scooted closer to her and held her hand. “I think that’s what makes us great, you know? We can balance each other out.”

Mary smiled as she looked at Penny. “You make me give in to my more reckless and sadistic tendencies, while I bring out the more responsible side to you?”

“Yeah.”

“Seems about right,” Mary chuckled, leaning close to kiss Penny.

Penny sighed as she let herself rest on Mary’s shoulder. “So, what do we do?”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” Mary began, as she gazed at Penny. “But I think Scarlett’s right. We own it. Use the controversy to promote SuperBrawl, and maybe raise awareness.”

“That what?” Penny shot out. “That the world is a dumpster fire and we’re never going to get along unless we just cut through the division and pull everyone’s head out of their a**es?”

“Actually,” Mary said, shifting her eyes for a moment before rushing back into the house. “I think I have an idea.”.

<***>

It took a couple hours to sort out over a PowerPoint, but once she got the last-minute design from their team in Atlanta, Mary Tobin was on the verge of launching Championship Connection’s most audacious campaign to date: #CancelPenny. Inspired by the vitriol thrown at her girlfriend from each end of the political spectrum, Mary developed a social media campaign that flipped the narrative on its head.

And so, with Penny and the McGurk’s all huddled up around the living room, and Kevin and Tori joining them via Facetime, Mary was ready to launch the campaign.

“Alight,” Mary smiled. “Get ready to cross the point of no return.”

“I still can’t believe you guys actually took my advice,” Scarlett said, looking down at Mary’s phone. “I was joking. You all know that, right?”

“It was exactly what we needed, to tell the truth,” Mary said, looking at Scarlett. “Addressing or denying the mob would have only led to an admission of guilt on Penny’s part.”

“For what?” Scarlett asked. “Saying that sports is sexists or saying a bunch of crap everyone says privately when they’re pissed off?”

“Both, actually,” Mary nodded. “The point of the campaign is to get people to talk about the #CancelPenny hashtag and get it to trend by actively canceling Penny.”

“So, you’re flipping the script?” Wayne asked.

“Pretty much,” Mary nodded.

“So, what now?” Kevin asked, from an iPad.

Mary reached out for her phone again. “Do you all have your burner accounts set up?”

She gave it a moment and watched as the entire family, physically present or otherwise, take their phones and nod at her command.

“Alright,” Mary sighed, swiping her phone open. “Let’s cancel Penny.”

Penny stepped away from the table and took a seat on the couch. Taking a long, much-needed pull from her vape, she watched as her family actively tried to correct her misunderstanding by doing the one thing they swore they’d never do: deny her.

For the first time in a long time, Penny allowed herself to take a sigh of relief. She was in the same room with her entire family. Granted, it took a long time to get them all under one room together. But there they were; doxing and canceling her on social media.

With everyone glued into their phones, tablets, and mobile devices, Penny allowed herself to slip away from the living room and quietly walk out to Mama Sandoval’s backyard. There was a stillness in the air. It wasn’t hot or cold. But it was pleasant. It was as if someone hit the pause button on the world and it affected everyone else but Penny.

For a minute, she was half tempted to run back inside the house to see if everyone was indeed frozen. But in a rare act of self-control, Penny held back and allowed herself to remain where she was. She had spent so many years chasing after one fantasy after another, that for once, she just wanted to escape into the stillness of the real world.

Looking up at the starless night above her, Penny caught the sight of a comet’s tail. Decorated in brilliant aquamarine, she watched the comet cut across the moon. The sight of the comet’s tail sent a shiver down Penny’s spine, compelling her to sink into her hoodie as she felt a familiar magic slowly stir within her.

“So,” Penny began, looking around to make sure the coast was clear. “Who’s ready for another unsolicited monologue?”

Penny took a hit off her vape. “I’m going to take that as a yes.”

“It’s so easy for anyone to write me off,” Penny said. “And it’s not because I’m a woman. It’s not because I’m transgender, but because they’re used to this idea of me as some kind of stoned-out, girl-obsessed, immature, overgrown teenager who shoots for the moon and constantly misses the mark. When you live your life for as long as I have, you end up navigating the world in blissful ignorance. You're aware of what’s right and wrong. But you're ill-equipped to do anything about it.”

“It’s why,” Penny hit her vape. “In some twisted way, I can understand the people who hate me, just as much as I can understand EBR. They’re all the same. In this great, f*cked up adventure we call a life, people like that move around this world with an impenetrable sense of self. They cling to this idealized version of their best self that they lash out at anything that threatens it.”

“It’s why EBR has such a revered and decorated career,” Penny sighed, looking down as she turned her head. “There are people out there who grew up watching EBR’s exploits every week that they built their whole lives wanting to be just like him.”

“And I can get why,” Penny said, hitting her vape. “It’s the reason why people don’t try to emulate wrestlers like me, or Vanessa, or Wayne, or even Josh. We’re too normal, believe it or not. It doesn’t matter if we’re larger than life athletes who put our heart and soul into every match we have. In the end, we’re no different from the people you see when you’re waiting in line at the ATM. Unlike us, EBR is aspirational.”

“EBR’s entire career is this perverse and heavily-edited fairytale that fetishizes everything that’s wrong in the world,” Penny said. “It’s a story that prides itself on the idea of attaining success at all costs, regardless of how many lives it ruins. And that’s something no one talks about it unless it affects them. And that’s wrong. EBR, and the people foolish enough to emulate him, look down at the world from a position of privilege and they will only extend a hand to the few who are lucky enough to be worthy of their attention.”

“And that’s where I come into the narrative of EBR’s fairytale,” Penny said, looking up. “People have doubted me my entire life. I’m not woman enough. I’m too ambitious. I’m too reckless. I’m everything that’s wrong with this sport. Whatever it is, believe me, I’ve heard it. And despite all that doubt, all I’ve done since I came to this promotion was prove everybody wrong.”

“Don’t believe me? Ask Drakz and Michael Kyzer,” Penny chuckled. “Because I nearly put their glorified circle jerk at the last SuperBrawl in serious jeopardy by doing the unthinkable when I beat Drakz for the WFWF World Championship. Name anyone else who's done that. There aren’t a lot. Last I checked, it was me. And because of that, I think I earned my rightful place, as Penny Shannon, as one of the best wrestlers to ever set foot in this company.”

“And with that,” Penny said, taking one step forward. “I, Penny Shannon, the stoner translesbian punk least likely, was suddenly worthy of the great EBR’s respect. And what did I do? I took the respect he gave me and I spat it back in his face because he isn’t worthy of mine. Just like the crowd that night in Cardiff. Well, the majority of them at least.”

“EBR, Jacqueline Karole, and all these people are exactly the same,” Penny began, kicking off her shoes as she undid the buckle of her jeans. “They’re all nothing but noise that drowns out the unspoken truth in every single person who doesn’t fit into their pleasant and aspirational narrative.”

“I’m tired,” Penny said, before taking off her hoodie and tossing it aside. “I’m tired of not being taken seriously. I’m tired of not being able to fit in and live the truth I share with my family. I’m tired of being unable to completely articulate the thoughts inside my head because it goes against the narratives that emotionally stunted people built for themselves.”.

*
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Back inside the house, the Shannon-McGurk family remained in their endless cycle of retweets as the cancellation of Penny Shannon started picking up momentum online.

Taking a moment away from her phone, Vanessa poured herself another glass of wine and took a look around the living room. Sensing something was off, she asked, “Where’s Penny?”

“She was here a minute ago,” Scarlett shrugged, looking up from her iPad.

“Uhm Mary,” Wayne coughed, looking out the window at a complete loss for words. “You might want to see this.”

Mary leaped out of her seat and rushed next to Wayne. Within moments the family gathered around the window and watched as Penny stumbled her way through the backyard, undressing herself in the process.

“Sh*t,” Mary shot out, taking one look out the window before rushing to the backyard with Vanessa.

*
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“This is why I’ve become a very dangerous woman.” A smile crept across Penny’s face as she stepped back and dug her thumbs into both sides of her waist to pull down her jeans and everything else in one fluid motion. “I know myself.”

“I’ve seen the best of me,” Penny said, stepping forward in nothing else but her bra. “I’ve seen the worst of me. And every waking moment of every single day, I wrestle with everything in between. I have no choice but to accept myself and love the person I’m becoming, despite all the warts.” Penny took a moment to look down at the betrayal of her own biology. “And believe me, that’s not always easy.”

“I’ve peered into the depths of my soul in a way that would frighten most,” Penny began, reaching back to unhook her bra as she slumped to her knees. “I’ve seen the person I’m becoming. She’s brave, and she’s beautiful, and she fights for what is right and just.”

“But I can’t become that person without doing this. It’s why I’m allowing myself to have this extended temper tantrum.” Penny closed her eyes as she pushed herself forward to slip her bra off her body. “If people want to crucify me for my behavior, they can go right ahead. I know what I’m doing.”

Penny gave herself a moment, looking down at her bra as it lay between both her hands. Closing her eyes, she brought the bra close to her chest and held it tight.

“They say history is written by the winners,” Penny spoke, opening her eyes. “On SuperBrawl, I will rewrite history and correct the narrative when I beat EBR. And through that, I will make him and the rest of the world pay. For their lies. For their negligence. And their twisted, perversion of the truth that has forced the rest of the world into a state of perpetual existential crisis.”

“The end is here, EBR,” Penny cackled, as she arched her body back. “Mark my words, the end is here!”

In time, the cackle gave way into hysterical laughter, which in turn led to an uncontrollable break of tears. Throwing her body into the grass, Penny drew deep within herself and let out a horrifying cry. Her body buckled beneath her, sinking her even deeper into the lawn as the flood of a thousand unspoken arguments escaped her lips.

“Penny!” Mary cried out, sinking to her knees as she and Vanessa rushed to her side.

Instinctively, Vanessa and Mary covered Penny in their arms and held her tight, just as Wayne, Scarlett, and Mama Sandoval came over.

“Give her this,” Mama Sandoval said, handing both women a blanket.

“Are you okay?” Vanessa asked as they covered Penny in linen.

“I’m fine,” Penny cried, laughing as she snuggled into the blanket. “For the first time in years, I’m actually fine!”

“It’s been a lot to take in, hasn’t it?” Vanessa asked, brushing Penny’s hair as she laid a kiss on her forehead.

“You have no idea,” Penny cried, still laughing. “You have no idea!”.


-2-

New York City,

A Couple Days Later,
At a Starbucks…

For Ripley Newcastle, the morning at work was just like any other. She took pride in the fact that her morning usually involved taking money from a bunch of coked-up yuppies from Wall St. Granted, most of the money she accepted usually went into the pockets of an equally soulless conglomerate that offered the bare minimum.

Still, it was a stab at trying to make it in the city. And more than anything, Ripley was willing to tough it out just as long as it gave her the chance to stay close to a community she's idolized since her teens.

Ripley waited for the next woman to approach the counter, “Welcome to Starbucks! Can I take your order?”

“Yeah,” the woman spoke. “I’ll have a grande triple shot espresso on ice!”

“Someone’s busy!” Ripley shot out, too busy to pay any attention as she reached for a plastic cup and magic marker. “Can I have your name?”

“Penny,” the woman replied. “Penny Shannon.”

Ripley dropped the magic marker and looked up. “What are you doing here?”

“I tracked you down,” Penny replied.

“Creepy!”

“Hun, you’re not that hard to find,” Penny shrugged, holding up her phone. “You’ve tagged this specific Starbucks in several IG posts.”

Ripley rolled her eyes, scribbling Penny’s name as she asked, “So, what do you want?”

“I was wondering if I could treat you to a cup of coffee and talk.”

“We’re here now,” Ripley said. “And you’re holding up the line.”

Penny rolled her eyes and sighed. “I also want to apologize.”

“Go,” Ripley said. “That’ll be $5.75, by the way.”

“I’m not sorry for what I said,” Penny said, withdrawing a $10 bill from her wallet. “But I’m sorry for making you feel bad. It wasn’t my intention to hurt you. I know I can be a c*nt sometimes, and while that won’t change, I am trying to be better.”

“Alright then,” Ripley said, handing Penny her change. “You can get your drink when our barista calls your name on the counter.”

“That’s it?” Penny asked, dumping her change into the tip box.

“Yeah,” Ripley nodded. “Now please, you’re holding up the line.”

Penny took a seat against the window and decided to wait in the hope that Ripley would come around. She still had a couple of hours before her flight back to Tempe. And from there, she was going to meet Mary and the McGurks at the airport before taking off for London, together.

To pass the time, Penny took a look through the now-desolate wasteland that was her old Tumblr account. She couldn’t help but smirk as she imagined what would have happened if she got canceled when Tumblr was still a thing.

She didn’t really notice how much time had passed, but before long, she was caught off guard by the sight of a muffin sitting on her table.

“I didn’t order this.”

“It’s on the house.”

Looking away from her phone, Penny looked up and found Ripley smiling at her.

“Wanna split it with me?”

“Why not?” Ripley sighed, taking the chair across from Penny.

“Thank you for the muffin,”

“Thank you for the apology,” Ripley said. “Accepted by the way.”

Penny smiled as she sipped her triple espresso on ice. “Permission to say something that may be c*nty?”

“I don't know...” Ripley rolled her eyes and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “Is it going to cancel you?”

“Let’s see? It’s kinda my thing now.”

“I’ve noticed,” Ripley chuckled. “So, let’s see if you can cancel yourself into an even deeper hole.”

“Barista, really?” Penny shot out, leaning forward. “I don’t know why but I just figured you were a programmer or something.”

“You’re one to talk!” Ripley shot back. “You don’t fit the typical trans girl stereotype either.”

“That’s not completely true,” Penny said, rolling her eyes as she pulled up her jeans to reveal pink, white, and blue knee-high socks.

“Oh my God,” Ripley giggled, leaning over as she pulled up her khakis to reveal the same pair of knee-highs. “Thanks for reaching out and doing this. It means a lot.”

“Me too,” Penny said. “I don’t know a lot of other trans people, being in the wrestling business and all. So I appreciate getting a chance to talk to other girls like this.”

“I get you,” Ripley said. “I don’t spend a lot of time with cis people, to be honest. I guess sometimes I can get a little too caught up in my own little universe myself.”

“I’m glad we can understand each other,” Penny said.

“We don’t have to agree,” Ripley said. “But at least we have this.”.


-4-

Wembley Stadium

24 Hours Before SuperBrawl…

She could have done it a lot sooner. But given how things have been between her and Josh, this was something she had actively avoided for awhile. 

Using her all-access pass, Penny ventured into Wembley on the eve of SuperBrawl. She let herself take in the sights from the entrance ramp. With the ring surrounded by all those empty seats, the stadium felt so quiet and peaceful. It was probably why Josh took the night off from his publicity tour to take it all in as he sat in the bleachers. Given how much time he had spent preparing for the match with Drakz, the tranquility of an empty stadium probably gave him a profound level of comfort he couldn’t get anywhere else.

With a deep breath, Penny motioned away from the ramp and made her way to the bleachers.

Like the McGurks, the Dean’s took her in at a time when she felt absolutely worthless. And from that, came the unlikeliest of bonds with a man who she just treasured as a brother. Penny knew she could never fully articulate just what Josh, Nikki, and the boys meant to her. And maybe, she never will.

She will, however, always be grateful. Without Josh, she wouldn’t have met Mary or have the life she’s privileged to lead. She had given them her loyalty almost ten years ago, under a promise that they would always do right by each other. But apparently, that loyalty has its limits. And the fact that Josh felt that he could easily cross that broke her.

All in all, Penny Shannon’s journey to SuperBrawl was a life-changing whirlwind. It just sucked that she couldn't share it with him. 

“Hey,” Penny said, holding herself down from the cold as she dug into the pouch of her hoodie.

Taking a deep breath, Josh set his sights away from the ring and looked at Penny. “Been a while.”

“Yeah,” Penny nodded, as she watched her breath escape her lips.

“What’s up with you?” Josh asked, scratching his beard.

“Not much,” Penny said, sitting down beside him as she pulled out a blunt. “Wanna split this with me?”

“Yeah,” Josh smiled. “I’d like that.”

Penny huddled over to her side and covered the blunt with her hand as she lit it. Given how windy it was, it took a bit of time to get the ember going.

“Need a hand with that?” Josh asked, looking over.

“It’s cool,” Penny coughed, passing Josh the blunt now.

“Thanks for this.”

“Think of it as a good luck present.”

“Here’s to the both of us,” Josh said, taking the blunt from Penny.

Josh blew into the blunt to get the ember nice and steady, before pulling back for a long, hearty toke.

“Hey Penny,” Josh coughed, passing the blunt. “Let me ask you something and be honest.”

“Go,” Penny replied, taking the blunt.

“Things aren’t gonna be the same between us, are they?”

“No,” Penny replied, taking a hit.

“Thought so,” Josh sighed, casting his gaze at the distance.

Penny passed the blunt back to Josh. “Good luck tomorrow.”

“Good luck to you too, Penny.”.

[veronicaaaahhhh]

Here it is: Penny's SuperBrawl roleplay. I have a lot of feelings LOL

A million thanks to Josh for workshopping this with me, along with Wayne's RP. I'm very pleased with how this one turned out. It was a lot to do, with such little time.

Many thanks also to EBR for the match. Best of luck to you dude! Hope y'all enjoy it

[King Richius]

Probably the heaviest and most personal RP I've ever read here. I get the feeling this would be much like if I wrote an RP about almost dying, having life saving surgery, and waking up the next day to be told you have an incurable disease. Just putting proverbial pen to paper to tell the story would be very cathartic. I don't feel right in critiquing something so obviously personal and meaningful to you. I applaud you for putting it out there and giving all of us food for thought.

Having said all that, damn this was long. Another RP I had to read in parts.

[veronicaaaahhhh]

Apr 10, 2021 1:05:08 GMT -5 King Richius said:

Probably the heaviest and most personal RP I've ever read here. I get the feeling this would be much like if I wrote an RP about almost dying, having life saving surgery, and waking up the next day to be told you have an incurable disease. Just putting proverbial pen to paper to tell the story would be very cathartic. I don't feel right in critiquing something so obviously personal and meaningful to you. I applaud you for putting it out there and giving all of us food for thought.

Having said all that, damn this was long. Another RP I had to read in parts.

It was admittedly very cathartic to write. It's why I'm glad I tossed Wayne in for SuperBrawl too, since some parts were very difficult to write.

Whatever I was feeling, I did try to connect to the storyline and to Penny's somewhat askewed outlook.

That said, despite it's personal nature and length, don't hold back on the critique. I'll never imrpove if people don't point out the strength and weakness of my work, regardless of how personal it maybe may not be.

[Drakz]

Blimey, that was long. Though I will say, contrary to the length of Josh's RP, it felt more justified here as every scene was part of a greater story, all serving to move that story forward.

Perhaps more so than any other writer in the history of the WFWF you have such a stacked roster of supporting characters to draw from. They all feel important, probably because they've nearly all been active wrestlers in the fed at one time or another due to your inability to commit

That said though, it's become an absolute blessing, because every character Penny interacts with generally feels like something I care about, instead of just being fairly faceless "family member #2".

I'll echo Rich's thoughts in that this felt very personal, and that usually helps with making things feel real. Josh did it with the scenes pertaining to fatherhood in his own RP, and you've done it here with basically the whole RP. It's an RP that's so 2021 that I almost found myself resenting it a bit, strictly because one of the main reasons I've abandoned my facebook account was because I was so sick of reading the vitriol in the comment sections on shared articles etc, wether they were in relation to racial, trans, political issues etc. I'm just so done with c*nts, and then here we are with a bunch of them in the same interview space as Penny. I got the same knot in my stomach as I would when reading those aforementioned real life comments. I guess that's a round about way of saying that side of things felt very real, and I can only assume that's anchored in your own experiences?

One thing I will say is I didn't get too much personal enjoyment from how serious and wholesome the whole piece was, but that's literally just down to me not having a heart. There was nothing wrong with the execution or anything, it's just not the kind of story I'm likely to enjoy reading really.

That aside though I thought you did a great job of pacing the story you were telling, as everything fed back into this singular narrative without ever feeling forced or hokey.

I especially liked seeing Mary jumping right into her role as project manager. It made so much sense given her role at Championship Connections, her relationship with Penny and just her personality. It was nice seeing her take the lead there, in a room full of so many large characters.

A few of my favourite lines:

Let’s get up, big girl

A lovely call back to her own Mother's use of the phrase. Simple but effective.

Which is why I invite others, biological men and biological women, and the reasonable transvestite

I laughed and in equal measure wanted to smash her face in.

“Gay,” Scarlett hushed, leaning over both girls. “So f*cking gay!”.

Scarlett is probably my favourite character of yours, just because she's so purile. I could honestly see her and Drakz being friends in an alternate timeline.


I will say I would have liked a greater focus on EBR, as this story was far more about Penny, and realistically could have been used as an RP against any opponent with a few minor tweaks. Maybe that's a personal preference again, but I like an RP that cuts down an opponent, or at least feels like it's a part of a fight itself. It's hard for me to word what I mean, but this felt a bit passive in that respect.

Overall this was a beautifully told story, but jesus I hope the other RPs on this show aren't as long. I don't have the gumption for it.

[sonstuds]

I have a lot of admiration for your ability and willingness to write something so intimate. It's something very few would be willing to do and I commend you heavily for it.

When you PMed me months ago asking if I had plans for SB I was really stoked to work with you again, and this is one of the many exhibits you've written over the years to show why. I've always had you pegged as one of the best to ever be here and this small feud was really well done IMO and the vast percentage of that is attributed to you with the ideas you've pitched and the RPs you wrote. This is one of my favorite matches I was part of, and it's not a coincidence one of the others also happened to involve you.

I concur with Drakz when he said that this worked as a cohesive story. It's easy to put together a long RP that just has various loosely connected scenes, but all of them worked together in an organic way to really get into the mind and life of Penny Shannon. I've biased towards character studies, and this one was excellent while still having enough focus on her career in the WFWF and the relevance the upcoming match has. Even things that didn't necessarily hit with me, like Penny speaking monologues out loud to no one are more a personal preference and not a technical criticism, they were still very effective and strong monologues all the same. Similar to the fairly lengthy conversation regarding musical artists between Penny and her brother which were unfortunately lost on me due to my lack of knowing who any of them were, it still serves it purpose to establish personality and tone.

You also have a great and distinctive writing voice which I put such an onus on. This is a Penny Shannon RP. No one else writes RPs quite like this. You have your own sound, so to speak.

Favorite lines

Reasonably baked to get through the day as if she was walking on f*cking sunshine

“You don’t think I did anything wrong?”

“No,” Mary replied. “But I think you were stupid enough to inadvertently take things too far. Like, how could you not realize they didn’t automatically shut off the call?”

“I just assumed!”

“Well next time, don’t assume.”

“Oh trust me, there isn’t going to be a next time.”

And really the entire ending with Josh Dean was just excellently done.

“Things aren’t gonna be the same between us, are they?”

“No,” Penny replied, taking a hit.

“Thought so,” Josh sighed, casting his gaze at the distance.

Penny passed the blunt back to Josh. “Good luck tomorrow.”

“Good luck to you too, Penny.”.

Thanks for the match.

[Deleted]

This was a wonderful piece. 

It's scary accurate yet amazing how well you captured/parodied the mob mentality of today with the cancelling of Penny Shannon and that "interview" in the beginning in the RP. Like Drakz said, it made me upset just reading the other people's willful ignorance and their refusal to accept someone's identity/opinions. The fact that you parodied it so well is just a testament to how...well, parody how society can feel at time. Scary accurate. And like the real-life version of Professor Thomasson (if I'm thinking of the same person that inspired Professor Thomasson) I have no idea what he's saying half the time xDDDD

I got a bit emotional reading this at times because of the similarities of Penny's story with someone I love and her story. She, too was also very accepted by her close and immediate family while others have used her identity as ammunition to hurt her. Penny tends to laugh in the face of her dysphoria while the woman I love struggles with it and it's a huge problem for her. The fact that Penny and yourself have openly discussed your struggles and your journey is super inspiring so I want to thank you for sharing it with everyone. Like you said, I can imagine how therapeutic and cathartic it was for you to write something so honest and truthful.

I felt like Penny focused on EBR just enough to where it made sense and didn't feel forced or out of place. This was all about Penny and the "controversy" she caused on the Ben Logan podcast as well as that interview so it makes sense why you decided to focus mostly on Penny and her family. Whenever EBR was mentioned, it was at the right time in her RP so I thought you mentioned him enough but that's just me. 

I miss Scarlett already but in this RP, she was hilarious! Every line of dialogue she had here was excellent and I couldn't help but smile when she would chime in on something. Whether it be when she was spotted in a dress to when she commented on Mary and Penny's embrace, it just shows the strength of your supporting cast which I love more than Penny herself. Wayne and Vanessa are the leaders of the McGurk family so I really enjoyed the scenes they were in.

I thought this RP was perfect. It has everything; romance, drama, action, you name it. It told a cohesive story and continued to further mature and evolve the Penny Shannon character which is needed for a match of the caliber at SuperBrawl. She's not facing just anyone. She's facing motherf**king EBR and I can't wait to see the outcome of the match because between this piece and his, it's not an easy pick.

[Thunder]

Wonderfully done, and an incredible and emotional piece.

I’m glad to see you say that it was cathartic. It can’t be easy to write something this heavy and personal, but did the whole thing admirably. The whole thing felt so heavy partially because it also felt so important. I felt the weight of all these moments to Penny, and to the larger issues the RP addressed here. You did so much and addressed so much, and that made it all feel big.

From a structural point, it was all very well done too. It was all a cohesive piece, and despite the length didn’t feel long. I also liked that we went back to the interview as the bookend to the opening. Definitely the best way to structure it for impact.

While I do see the points about there not being a ton of mention of the match, you did still have good stuff there, and it sort of hung over other parts of the RP. Even when Penny isn’t directly talking about it with Vanessa, you still feel the match relationship in their own interactions.

An insanely good showing by both of you. Not an easy one to choose.