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Post by Bandalero on Oct 18, 2018 7:34:20 GMT -5
This has bugged me for a few years now, not sure if anyone here experiences it.
My family knows I'm a toy collector. Besides the random heartfelt "how are your dollies?" inquiries, they pretty munch are ambivalent to my hobby. It's probably because I appreciate toys that when my nephews were growing up, Uncle Bandy made sure they got great stuff - ninja turtles? they got the sewer playset, all 4 turtles, and some bad guys because you can't enjoy just one turtle. Nerf? I'd get them the best model on the market. As they got older and got into consoles, I'd make sure they got the latest sports games out that year.
So it really salts me when my little ones get these dollar store toys when their aunts and uncles come over. Yes, yes it's great they are even getting something, but would it kill my in-laws to shop at TRU or even Walmart for my kids once in a while? I'm not expecting them to drop hundreds of dollars on my kids, but it's insulting when I made sure to get those guys real action figures, and my kids get a monochrome plastic mold of an action figure. And it's an obvious case of non-toy collectors not knowing, but it's frustrating.
I've never brought it up to them because I know I sound ungrateful here, but I'm hoping someone can relate.
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Post by bababooey on Oct 18, 2018 7:46:40 GMT -5
In all likelihood if their not collectors they probably don’t even see a difference between what you get their kids and what they get yours.
I remember when I was a kid and people would get me stuff that was like vaguely in line with my interests. A lot of times I’d get multiple of the same thing from different people because they just got what was there. The thought process was like “I don’t know. I guess he’ll like this.”
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Post by Jack Specific on Oct 18, 2018 8:55:38 GMT -5
Please do not take this the wrong way, I mean no insult... You should appreciate anything your children get from someone. It's the meaning behind it that matters, not the physical object. If someone was at the store, despite what store, and purchasing something for your children that means they were thinking of them. The old saying "it's the though that counts" is so over-said but it is the truth. It's nice that someone has your children in their positive thoughts. Not to mention it's possible they cannot afford the higher end stuff. I think it's a wonderful thing that your relatives, especially just Aunts & Uncles think of your children. Not everyone's relatives even give a damn. No one gave to my kids, maybe some birthdays and barely that. So please appreciate the thoughts, your children are fortunate to have relatives that love them and care enough!
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Post by Bandalero on Oct 18, 2018 9:23:19 GMT -5
Jack Specific I get it, no insult taken, and I know I sound ungrateful and that's why I've never brought it up to them. Just some more info that would give this context: I'm not talking about random times relatives give them something. I'm speaking about specific dedicated occasions, i.e. Birthdays, Christmas, etc. So they are coming to celebrate the milestone with us. There's no doubt that my kids are loved by their aunts & uncles (and none of them are strapped for disposable income). It's the effort I'm talking about. I made the effort to give their kids quality things and it's my perception that it's not reciprocal. But bababooey made a point that they most likely can't tell the difference - afterall toys are not their thing. Great example, is that I'd give my nephews Lego; and my kids get lego knock-off bricks that don't connect together lol. It's a frustration, but c'est la vie, hence why it's a 1st world problem The effort thing bugs me because from my own experience I know I hop into the dollar store to get a last-minute item, a gift bag, some gum, whatever. And I just picture them stopping in last-minute and grabbing whatever to bring. Another thing is, if my kids are invited to a birthday party, I make it a point to ask the parents what their kids are into and try to get that within reason, I don't grab any random thing. There's definitely a difference in what everyone values.
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Post by bababooey on Oct 18, 2018 9:45:27 GMT -5
Just thought of something on the whole effort front. Maybe they’re putting in the normal amount of effort that should be put in, and we are putting in too much effort. Lol
I know when I get gifts for my little cousins I kind of labor over it and try to think of what I would have wanted when I was their age. So basically, I’m buying a gift for myself that I’m giving to someone else.
Great example is this past Christmas. I got my little cousin a whole set of the rereleased original Ninja Turtles figures. All 4 turtles, Splinter, and Shredder. I grew up on those and decided it would be cool to introduce someone else to them. My aunt knows I like comics, so her and my cousin went to a comic shop and got me a small stack of old comics. I read a lot of comics and I’ve never even heard of these comics I got. They probably spent like $10 on the stack. I’m assuming the thought process was “He likes comics. These are a bunch of comics. Gift bought.”
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Post by Bandalero on Oct 18, 2018 9:47:52 GMT -5
you are wise beyond your years buddy!
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Post by Grumpyoldman on Oct 18, 2018 10:03:39 GMT -5
This brings up a great memory.
Whenever I got cheap looking or knock-off action figures, they were the ones who became "the casualties". We'd strap firecrackers on their backs, drop them off the roof, hold their heads on a spinning bicycle tire or burn them with a magnifying glass. We got some good use out of them, and our good figures never suffered.
Anyway- next time their kid has a birthday, donate some money to an animal shelter in their name instead. Ask the shelter if they can print out a receipt. See what kind of a reaction you get.
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Post by bababooey on Oct 18, 2018 11:01:54 GMT -5
This brings up a great memory. Whenever I got cheap looking or knock-off action figures, they were the ones who became "the casualties". We'd strap firecrackers on their backs, drop them off the roof, hold their heads on a spinning bicycle tire or burn them with a magnifying glass. We got some good use out of them, and our good figures never suffered. Anyway- next time their kid has a birthday, donate some money to an animal shelter in their name instead. Ask the shelter if they can print out a receipt. See what kind of a reaction you get. So basically you were Sid from Toy Story. Lol I used to do stuff like that. Miss the good old days when kids could have fun like that (and actually wanted to). Also funny, last year I donated money to an animal rescue instead of a gift for her birthday. I sent her the receipt and it made her happier than any gift I had ever given her before. Lol
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Post by Valbroski on Oct 18, 2018 11:25:45 GMT -5
Sometimes my dad would buy me dollar store toys, lol.
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Post by Halloween King on Oct 20, 2018 19:13:38 GMT -5
When I get a gift I never look at what was given to me. I look at the act itself. Someone took time out of their life, thought of me, and got me something.
When I throw my son his birthday party, I want to be accompanied by friends and loved ones more than anything else. I dont care if someone brought him a gift. I dont care what they brought him. I just care that they came to celebrate his birthday with us.
What I'm getting at here is just be happy that people even thought of you.
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Post by BØRNS on Oct 24, 2018 23:46:32 GMT -5
I know where you're coming from. Could it be that they don't know what your children want? Maybe they think that any toys would suffice? We are highly knowledgeable about the toy industry on this forum, so if they aren't aware of all that is out there, they could just think it makes no difference?
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garbagemon
Mid-Carder
Joined on: Jan 5, 2016 2:04:18 GMT -5
Posts: 362
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Post by garbagemon on Oct 25, 2018 1:15:58 GMT -5
To me, if they're getting them legit Dollar Tree crap, you may just have cheapskate in-laws. If it's such crappy crap, it's uncrappable, then you could probably always request they just not worry about bringing a present and just bring candy or something instead. I'd be a bit shocked if there were people out there who think "Oh yeah, Dollar Tree, now that's high quality goods!" I'm exaggerating a bit, as they can sometimes have some cool stuff, but it's all a frickin' dollar. And we live in a capitalist society obsessed with having lots of money and high-end goods. So they know they're getting cheap crap. Still, how do your kids react to their presents? If they like what they're getting, whatever price point it may be, well, why worry? And if the in-laws are shopping the big Dollah for all the presents, this must mean it's a family tradition, and you'd better start buying their presents there, too!
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