Post by Kyzer on May 21, 2018 11:57:12 GMT -5
Present
Am I the only one who is enjoying watching a midget be accused of being one of the biggest drug kingpins in Seattle? Poor DMK. He saw me sitting in the court room when he was shuffled in by the bailiffs. His reaction was priceless. I only wish the rest of the world could see a midget try to run at someone with his leg cuffs on. He wiped out almost immediately.
I was the only one who laughed.
His emotions haven’t calmed as the charges are read. I guess I am the one responsible for all this. Well that is at least what his brother and sister both say. I don’t give a f~ck. Color me purple, all I did was break him out of his little bubble he had built for himself.
Years of getting kicked around f~cked that kid up ever before I met him. Ashley warned me when I met her brother that he was “unique”. I had already met the older brother, Seth, and he was pretty much a douche from the start. I didn’t have high hopes for the youngest Xavier child. Then Ashley took me to meet her brother.
Judge: Do you understand the charges against you, Mr. Xavier?
DMK:DMK. My name is DMK, not anything else!
His little midget face is red with anger. I see jail hasn’t helped his temper in the slightest. Seth restrains his brother before the bailiff has too. I am so happy I came to see this.
Judge: You need to calm down before I add a contempt charge to this rather extensive list of drug and weapon charges.
I wish I could hear what Seth was whispering to him right now. I know DMK better than his brother does, I am sure it is all going in one ear and out the other. It wasn’t always like this with that kid. He was like a sponge when I first met him, except the only thing he wanted to absorb was television and movie bullsh~t. He certainly didn’t know how to live before he met me.
DMK:I understand the charges.
Judge: How do you plead then?
DMK:Not guilty.
DMK spent all his time watching movies and television. I walked into his cave in his parents’ house and he had his walls lined with DVDs and VHS tapes. It was a ripe beginning for someone destined to be a serial killer. I knew I had to save this kid from that fate. I saved him from being some pathetic nerd who lives with parents. It isn’t my fault that he jumped headfirst into the lifestyle I showed him. The first time I gave him coke, he railed an eight ball in less than an hour. I expected his meaty midget heart to explode in his chest. It didn’t and he ranted for hours about some sh~t show named Firefly and some chick named Joss. The only thing I could think about was how badly this guy needed to experience p~ssy. So I bought him his first hooker. The next time he got all coked up, he ranted about eating a hooker’s ass for hours. I see nothing but improvements in his life from knowing me.
DMK:F~ck you Kyzer! I am going to f~cking kill you!
He is screaming at me while literally being carried out of the courtroom. I guess I spaced out because I didn’t even realize the arraignment was over. Note to self, get more of that weed.
Judge: Get him out of here.
With that DMK is carried out of the courtroom and back to lockup. This was absolutely not the waste of time I was worried about. It was a nice way to spend a Wednesday morning. Well until now, Seth is making a beeline to me.
Seth: What are you doing here? Coming to see the mess you made of my brother?
Kyzer: You didn’t even like your brother when he started following me around. You never cared until he got arrested and it affected your law practice.
Seth has always been a prick. He always hated me. I was born into a better life than him from the start. His family was a big deal at one point. Papa Kyzer never let their father forget his place in the pecking order of high society though. Seth always had a chip on his shoulder because my last name is Kyzer. Jealousy is a green eyed b~tch.
Kyzer: How long do you think you will get your brother locked up for?
I can tell the remark has gotten under his skin.
Seth: You might want to prepare yourself. You are going to be called to testify.
I can’t wait for that. Surprisingly, I have never had to appear in court for anything. Your boy, Michael Kyzer, has a clean record. Who would have ever thought that with my lifestyle, I would have managed to evade any situation where I could be held culpable for something illegal? No one.
Kyzer: Yeah, that will be fun. I am looking forward to it.
Seth: I hope you are. I am going to expose you as the piece of sh~t you are.
Kyzer: You obviously don’t watch television. There is nothing to expose, that isn’t exactly a secret. I am a f~cking rock star out there. Think Tyler Durden mixed with Tommy Lee, that is essentially who I am. The world already knows this. You can’t do anything to hurt me. No one can.
Seth: You really think you are untouchable?
Of course I do. I am.
Kyzer: Why would I think anything else? My life has been an epic adventure for years and I am still standing here clean and pristine.
I am the Teflon Don. F~ck John Gotti.
Seth: I am going to love every moment of tearing you apart.
I am sure David will love that too. F~ck David Brennan.
Kyzer: Everyone always thinks they will until they fail to do so then they end up like your brother.
I am can do nothing more than smile as I turn away from this silly conversation. Seth is just another schmuk who thinks they have what it takes to bring down Michael Kyzer. There seems to be more and more them lately too. F~ck Frank Lynn. All this pointless chatter sparks the desire to smoke some more of that fine Seattle green. Time to go home.
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What do you want from me?
Do you want me to live up to the hype I have built up through mystique and propaganda?
I am a legend.
I changed the game.
I forced the culture of this place to evolve.
I came in with such an impact that I quickly left everyone behind.
It took seven years for anyone to catch up to me.
In those seven years, I built a pantheon. I built a kingdom. I built a legacy.
There are those that would argue the merit of my claims but look at this place before I showed up in 2005. It was a different place with a different species at the top of the food chain.
The WFWF was overrun a species of vermin that had refused to evolve with the times. Hence their extinction when I began The Great Hunt. I slaughtered the weak, and those fortunate enough to stay out of my warpath adapted.
Me alone changed the face of the WFWF.
Not Obo the Hobo. Not Alex Showtime. Not Drakz. Not Trace Demon. Not High Horror. None of those assclowns had the impact that I have had around here. And I jerk off on everything EBR accomplished. F~ck that juicer.
Now 13 years later how am I still relevant? I turn 40 this year. I am the old man of these parts.
That kind of makes me laugh.
I remember setting foot in the WFWF and pissing on all the so called legends that came before me. Now I am one those so called legends.
I never said that Michael Kyzer wasn’t a hypocrite. I am everything else that is sh~tty in this world, why not be a f~cking hypocrite while I am at it.
I am not a so called legend.
I am The F~cking Legend.
I am everything that everyone for the last 13 years has aspired to be.
Everyone wants to come into this world riding the cumshot I came in riding.
Everyone wants to be Michael F~cking Kyzer.
You want to know why? Because my c~ck is huge, I smash a lot of ass and I always win.
Always smashing a lot of ass…
David knows this.
He rode around with me for a year. He knows me.
I know him.
At least I thought I did.
It is a blow to my ego to see this change. That is the same as a declaration of war.
The War of The New Epoch.
All we need is Drakz…all in good time.
This is just my time with David. This is when I see if he ever learned anything from me. I know that he learned from Drakz on how to take a beating.
Are you ready, David? Is Nat ready to see you get your face smashed in again? Lila did you no favors with the stipulation of no disqualification. You aren’t the one with a seven foot Dragon watching your back. I am always a fan of using the advantages that are handed to me. I can’t wait to see just what kind of threshold for pain you have.
I want to hurt you. I want to break you. I want to drive you back to the bottle. I want you to succumb to the demons that possessed you when I first met you. I want that David Brennan back. I want that guy to stand with me on the ashes of The New Epoch. I want that guy with me when I finally break Drakz for good.
That title of yours is coming to me. To get what I want, I have to take everything from you. Your title, your health, I will even take your precious little Nat if I have to. I will comfort her after I put you out of your misery. I will give her a little Kyzer baby to forget about you. We will call him David in your memory. We will raise him in the ways of a drunken skinhead like his namesake. And when that child becomes old enough, he will accomplish all the things you failed to accomplish. The world will have a real David.
That is just one scenario. Another scenario is I use her grief to assf~ck her while she cries over your coffin. Either way I have fun.
I don’t like New York, the state or the city. It never had the appeal that a Las Vegas or Macao has. But the WFWF is smart to market this match in the most famous arena in the world even if that arena is New York City. Madison Square Garden is an arena with a history rich with wrestling. Obviously Lila is a smart businesswoman. This match with Brennan is a cash cow for her. I am going to bring in the eyes this company needs. The money is going to come with those eyes.
Madison Square Garden…David Brennan defending the WFWF World Heavyweight against Michael Kyzer…
You have to make the most of such a situation. This is a battle between brothers. At least that is the way to market it.
Truth be told, the brotherhood died when I broke Drakz’s back. David disappeared while I enjoyed a lengthy vacation in Southeast Asia, and while Drakz sat in a hospital. I am sure there is some record of his activities after the event but I can’t be bothered to do the research. I don’t really care about what happened with him since then and now. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is David Brennan has become a p~ssy. He is a p~ssy that needs to be f~cked into submission. Take that however you want.
His whole story between then and now is completely irrelevant. His life is irrelevant without me in it. I am the nucleus of everything that has ever been interesting in the life of David Brennan.
The God of F~ck is going to do what he does second best…win.
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Past
He is staring at me with disbelief.
DMK:What the f~ck do you have Fred Durst backing you up in the ring? What does he bring to the table that I can’t bring?
Kyzer: Besides height?
DMK:That’s not funny.
Kyzer: He has name recognition. You don’t. Also I don’t need my drug dealer on television with me.
DMK:He put out a bunch of sh~tty music like ten years ago. What kind of name recognition does he carry now? And why does my profession have to do with anything? That is prejudice man.
He makes a point about Durst. He doesn’t have any credible name recognition. I just thought it would be funny to bring a tool like him into the wrestling world. It proved amusing and effective for the plans I have going on. I didn’t expect DMK to get all testy about this. For years he has been trying to get me to bring him into this world. He obviously doesn’t understand that midgets possess in this industry. I guess there is some humor for me in that. At least until he does something stupid like shoots someone.
Kyzer: You can’t claim I am being prejudice against you for your occupation. You are a drug dealer. I am being prejudice against you because you are a hobbit and you can’t do anything to aid me in a situation where I need to hurt someone.
He is angry. I might get shot now.
DMK:F~ck you, I can pistol whip some kracker.
Kracker?
Kyzer: You disappoint me sometimes.
It is like I kicked a puppy. That really hit him hard. His anger turns to sadness. I think he might cry. I wonder if he was ever tested for a bipolar disorder? He is being extra sensitive today. I don’t think he would like it if I offered to get him some Midol and chocolate.
Kyzer: Don’t cry. Just don’t use the word kracker again. It makes you seem low class and ghetto.
This comes from the guy who cusses every third sentence.
DMK:I just want to be out there to help you out. I want to be your right hand guy.
That could be misconstrued.
DMK:Come on man, get me involved.
A midget begging is just as pathetic as one might think. He is looking up at me from his spot on the ground with big sad eyes and a white nose. It is a sad sight if you don’t find the idea of a coked up midget crying entertaining. Luckily I can find the entertainment value in this.
Kyzer: Let me think about it. I will talk it over with Drakz.
DMK:F~ck Drakz. He is an bunghole. You don’t need him.
DMK hates Drakz. Drakz hates DMK. It has always been that way. I think DMK is jealous. Midget problems.
Kyzer: I don’t need anyone. Drakz and I are brothers. We have plans for the future. You need to get over your dislike for him.
Normally I don’t care about their beef with each other but I don’t need an irrational midget screwing up what Drakz and I have planned for the future.
DMK:You are my brother doesn’t that count for something?
No.
Kyzer: This conversation is getting a bit too emotional for me. I am starting to think I am talking to your sister.
He is dejected. He needs to toughen up. He would never survive prison if he ever got arrested. DMK has his uses. He has proven savory in acquiring drugs and hookers when I need them. He really took notes when The Wire was on. He is a regular Stringer Bell. I hope he remembers that Stringer gets betrayed by his best friend.
Kyzer: I will try to find a place for you in the new era.
DMK:I just think I can be an asset. You will never have someone more loyal than me.
That is probably true, but new loyalties can be bought or blackmailed. Everyone is replaceable, even DMK. I can always find a new dwarf to act as my sidekick. I have spent a lot of time on DMK though. Do I want to throw all that away? I took a lonely, nerd midget with social issues and turned him into one of the bigger drug dealers in Seattle. DMK does know how to throw a party thanks to me also. Go big always.
Kyzer: I know you can be asset. I just have some things in the works that I need to see pan out before we bring you aboard.
DMK:We? Why does Drakz have a voice in this?
Kyzer: Because he can get in the ring and actually compete with me. He also has a history and reputation in the WFWF that you don’t have. We are the biggest two stars to ever go through that place.
F~ck EBR and his beef with my boy Alex. I eclipse both in notoriety.
Kyzer: I promise I will find a spot for you. Can we just drop this conversation now?
DMK:Fine. Just know I am going to say I told you so when Drakz fails you and you wish you had me in his spot.
Just like a b~tch on the rag. I need more dope if I am going to deal with this guy on a more regular basis. It is exhausting like a marriage but without the annual happy.
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I have watched my mother and father both die.
I buried my son.
I outlived three girlfriends.
I have witnessed overdoses.
I have been blamed for suicides.
I have watched the world burn.
I consider myself pretty familiar with Death.
It doesn’t scare me. I know that someday I will die.
I walk into every fight knowing there is no certainty that I will wake up tomorrow.
I live every day as if there will be no sunrise in the morning.
This makes me dangerous.
I don’t have anything to lose in this fight.
You have everything to lose.
That makes you reckless.
Even if you manage to beat me, since if it changes anything…it didn’t for Frank. He is still a tool who is looking up the ladder at me.
Even if I lose, I win.
I already broke you.
Who the f~ck gets their ass beat by kids? I know I have asked the question before but I still can’t figure out the answer. That went way better than I anticipated. Thank you Thailand for your corrupt ways.
You got fed to a Dragon who spit out your bones.
I am friends with Death.
How can you overcome that?
How can you beat someone who is fighting for no reason beyond a desire to piss on everything you have become?
I want chaos.
I want pain.
I want to bring this to your life. I want you to be reduced to your baser self. I want you broken and crying out for help.
I want you to pray to The God of F~ck for mercy and redemption. I want you to reach out for my hand right before I chop off your head.
I am going to deny you any relief from the pain, physical and emotional.
Your life is going to be shattered into A Million Little Pieces and then you will be exposed as the b~tch you have become, a sadder version of James Frey.
The odds are against you. One washed up skinhead against a Dragon and a God? This is a total mismatch.
It is Main Event Gold though.
I am finding myself respecting Lila Sleater’s business acumen.
She knows what will draw the ratings.
Michael Kyzer destroying the life of David Brennan is absolute money. The only bigger marquee would be Kyzer vs Drakz but that will come on my terms as everything always does.
I am the best. I am the best because I wholeheartedly believe it. Nothing can shatter the confidence I have in my abilities in the ring.
I am a master at talking, promoting, and marketing myself. I am a genius as exposing the weaknesses in the chumps I come across. I am an expert technician in that ring. It often gets overlooked because I am just so damn charismatic.
I am superior to David in everything that matters. The more I talk about it, the more it seems like this is an unfair fight. I have every advantage and the only thing he has on me is that he has more white trash tattoos.
If you won’t embrace me as your Lord and Savior at the end of this, I am going to introduce you to my friend, Death, and put you in the ground.
I buried my son without shedding a tear. I won’t lose any sleep ending your life.
History means everything and nothing here. If we never chose you to be the third member of The New Epoch, you would never be where you are now. You wouldn’t have that title. You would be just another insignificant cog in the WFWF wheel. Our history made you. And it won’t save you. It won’t matter. I will break your face again. I will cut you down at the knees and systematically dissect you.
The New Epoch is dead and I am going to bury the last relic from it. [/i]
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Past
This is some good f~cking weed. It hits hard. I can feel it in my joints. A deep tissue massage would be the tits right now. I look over at Drakz. He is on the same plane of existence as me. He feels it. When the Kyzer Drakz Regime took power, it began a ride with Drakz that has lasted almost seven years now. The Regime was our feeling our process of working with each other. It proved a success albeit a fleeting one. We jumped ship at the peak and left chaos behind. Now we aim to embark on another adventure together. Not one of chaos and anarchy like The Regime, but one of controlled destruction.
Drakz: How about we call ourselves “The New Epoch”?
He exhales a cloud of smoke and produces a cheesy grin. He knows that is an epic level name.
Kyzer: I love it.
Drakz: A new era of Drakz and Kyzer.
Who doesn’t want more Drakz and Kyzer? We are the most interesting people in this promotion. Schneider is nothing but an assclown with a fetish for snuff films. Hutton Brown, Ace Bennett? Neither of them offer the world anything of value. We are the heart and soul of this place since EBR ran away like a b~tch and Alex Sean decided he didn’t have it in him anymore. It is up to us to carry this place on our backs just like we did in 2006.
Kyzer: I think we need to expand our circle. This isn’t 2006. We don’t have management on our side this time. And this is more than just giving in to our whims. We want to rebuild this company in our image. It has too much of an EBR feel to it these days. We need to build that glass ceiling below us and keep everyone else out.
These lesser mammals need to learn their place in the food chain.
Drakz: How about David?
Who the f~ck is David?
Kyzer: Who the f~ck is David?
Drakz: David Brennan. The guy I faced at Superbrawl.
This is some damn good herb. I completely spaced on that. The guy did catch my eye during his match with Drakz.
Kyzer: Yeah, he did look like he had some potential we could exploit.
Drakz: He also faces Schneider coming up so bonus on that.
Kyzer: I feel a plan forming.
Our cause would go better if we could add a good foot soldier like Brennan to our army. He has some demons that we could definitely utilize. Hopefully we can mold him into the first pupil of The New Epoch.
Drakz: I think the guy will be receptive when we show him the advantages of rolling with us.
Who wouldn’t want to get an instant ride to the top?
Kyzer: Speaking of rolling with us, DMK wants to be a part of this.
Drakz chokes as I catch him while he is hitting the blunt.
Drakz: What does that little muppet think he can bring to the table besides drugs?
Kyzer: He does have an unwavering dedication to me.
Drakz: He is a f~cking loon with the intelligence of a child and access to firearms. He is a disaster. Plus he is annoying as all hell. F~ck that twat.
I can only laugh. This was about the reaction I expected.
Drakz: He has some real problems. You need to send him to a specialist in one of those mental hospitals.
I can’t disagree but I do see the advantage of DMK in the right setting. I am just up in the air as whether this is the right place for him. I can picture the absurdity of it all now. He would probably try to lead his own clown car of a group on some stupid mission born from pettiness. As savvy as he can be sometimes, it gets completely overlooked by how outrageous he is most of the time. Last time Drakz saw DMK, he walked into a room where DMK was getting blown by a midget hooker. Drakz still complains about the image being burned into his mind. There is truly nothing more revolting than two midgets f~cking. Even The God of F~ck has some boundaries. It is the equivalent of child porn.
Kyzer: I don’t disagree that he can be a handful. He does have some uses. His latest obsession with Dog the Bounty Hunter has given me a few ideas when I am forced to listen to him go on coked up diatribes about the show. If we can keep him focused then he could prove to be a useful little hobbit.
Drakz: Hey, if you want to bring him, then go ahead. He is one hundred percent your problem and responsibility. And I am not held accountable if I have to straighten him out with some good old fashion violence.
Kyzer: Fair enough.
Is it a hate crime if a Welshman beats up a Hobbit?
Kyzer: This future that we going to bring to the world is going to be very entertaining.
Drakz: Especially after we responsibly clean up all this pollution that is everywhere in the WFWF.
The New Epoch…beautifying America with every poor sh~t we throw out.
Drakz: This feels good, us running through the WFWF together again.
I can’t disagree. I have never had someone I actually considered a brother until I met Drakz and that includes my own flesh and blood. We were just two guys who say the world in the same light.
Kyzer: Control your erection.
He laughs. If I am going to burn down the world, Drakz is the man to have on your side. His mind is just as devious as mine and he is just as blessed at f~cking up frat boy rejects. I can taste the future. A hostile takeover isn’t going to work this time. It is going to be an all-out war. We are going to destroy everything and rebuild it in our image. We are the ones who are carrying the company now. The company needs to reflect that. We deserve to have homage paid to us by the WFWF universe.
Drakz: It just hit me.
Kyzer: What?
Drakz: I just figured out why I hate DMK so much. He looks like a Koala bear that was given radiation treatment and lost all his hair from it. It is just such an ugly abomination that it needs to be put out of its misery.
I can see that.
Am I the only one who is enjoying watching a midget be accused of being one of the biggest drug kingpins in Seattle? Poor DMK. He saw me sitting in the court room when he was shuffled in by the bailiffs. His reaction was priceless. I only wish the rest of the world could see a midget try to run at someone with his leg cuffs on. He wiped out almost immediately.
I was the only one who laughed.
His emotions haven’t calmed as the charges are read. I guess I am the one responsible for all this. Well that is at least what his brother and sister both say. I don’t give a f~ck. Color me purple, all I did was break him out of his little bubble he had built for himself.
Years of getting kicked around f~cked that kid up ever before I met him. Ashley warned me when I met her brother that he was “unique”. I had already met the older brother, Seth, and he was pretty much a douche from the start. I didn’t have high hopes for the youngest Xavier child. Then Ashley took me to meet her brother.
Judge: Do you understand the charges against you, Mr. Xavier?
DMK:DMK. My name is DMK, not anything else!
His little midget face is red with anger. I see jail hasn’t helped his temper in the slightest. Seth restrains his brother before the bailiff has too. I am so happy I came to see this.
Judge: You need to calm down before I add a contempt charge to this rather extensive list of drug and weapon charges.
I wish I could hear what Seth was whispering to him right now. I know DMK better than his brother does, I am sure it is all going in one ear and out the other. It wasn’t always like this with that kid. He was like a sponge when I first met him, except the only thing he wanted to absorb was television and movie bullsh~t. He certainly didn’t know how to live before he met me.
DMK:I understand the charges.
Judge: How do you plead then?
DMK:Not guilty.
DMK spent all his time watching movies and television. I walked into his cave in his parents’ house and he had his walls lined with DVDs and VHS tapes. It was a ripe beginning for someone destined to be a serial killer. I knew I had to save this kid from that fate. I saved him from being some pathetic nerd who lives with parents. It isn’t my fault that he jumped headfirst into the lifestyle I showed him. The first time I gave him coke, he railed an eight ball in less than an hour. I expected his meaty midget heart to explode in his chest. It didn’t and he ranted for hours about some sh~t show named Firefly and some chick named Joss. The only thing I could think about was how badly this guy needed to experience p~ssy. So I bought him his first hooker. The next time he got all coked up, he ranted about eating a hooker’s ass for hours. I see nothing but improvements in his life from knowing me.
DMK:F~ck you Kyzer! I am going to f~cking kill you!
He is screaming at me while literally being carried out of the courtroom. I guess I spaced out because I didn’t even realize the arraignment was over. Note to self, get more of that weed.
Judge: Get him out of here.
With that DMK is carried out of the courtroom and back to lockup. This was absolutely not the waste of time I was worried about. It was a nice way to spend a Wednesday morning. Well until now, Seth is making a beeline to me.
Seth: What are you doing here? Coming to see the mess you made of my brother?
Kyzer: You didn’t even like your brother when he started following me around. You never cared until he got arrested and it affected your law practice.
Seth has always been a prick. He always hated me. I was born into a better life than him from the start. His family was a big deal at one point. Papa Kyzer never let their father forget his place in the pecking order of high society though. Seth always had a chip on his shoulder because my last name is Kyzer. Jealousy is a green eyed b~tch.
Kyzer: How long do you think you will get your brother locked up for?
I can tell the remark has gotten under his skin.
Seth: You might want to prepare yourself. You are going to be called to testify.
I can’t wait for that. Surprisingly, I have never had to appear in court for anything. Your boy, Michael Kyzer, has a clean record. Who would have ever thought that with my lifestyle, I would have managed to evade any situation where I could be held culpable for something illegal? No one.
Kyzer: Yeah, that will be fun. I am looking forward to it.
Seth: I hope you are. I am going to expose you as the piece of sh~t you are.
Kyzer: You obviously don’t watch television. There is nothing to expose, that isn’t exactly a secret. I am a f~cking rock star out there. Think Tyler Durden mixed with Tommy Lee, that is essentially who I am. The world already knows this. You can’t do anything to hurt me. No one can.
Seth: You really think you are untouchable?
Of course I do. I am.
Kyzer: Why would I think anything else? My life has been an epic adventure for years and I am still standing here clean and pristine.
I am the Teflon Don. F~ck John Gotti.
Seth: I am going to love every moment of tearing you apart.
I am sure David will love that too. F~ck David Brennan.
Kyzer: Everyone always thinks they will until they fail to do so then they end up like your brother.
I am can do nothing more than smile as I turn away from this silly conversation. Seth is just another schmuk who thinks they have what it takes to bring down Michael Kyzer. There seems to be more and more them lately too. F~ck Frank Lynn. All this pointless chatter sparks the desire to smoke some more of that fine Seattle green. Time to go home.
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What do you want from me?
Do you want me to live up to the hype I have built up through mystique and propaganda?
I am a legend.
I changed the game.
I forced the culture of this place to evolve.
I came in with such an impact that I quickly left everyone behind.
It took seven years for anyone to catch up to me.
In those seven years, I built a pantheon. I built a kingdom. I built a legacy.
There are those that would argue the merit of my claims but look at this place before I showed up in 2005. It was a different place with a different species at the top of the food chain.
The WFWF was overrun a species of vermin that had refused to evolve with the times. Hence their extinction when I began The Great Hunt. I slaughtered the weak, and those fortunate enough to stay out of my warpath adapted.
Me alone changed the face of the WFWF.
Not Obo the Hobo. Not Alex Showtime. Not Drakz. Not Trace Demon. Not High Horror. None of those assclowns had the impact that I have had around here. And I jerk off on everything EBR accomplished. F~ck that juicer.
Now 13 years later how am I still relevant? I turn 40 this year. I am the old man of these parts.
That kind of makes me laugh.
I remember setting foot in the WFWF and pissing on all the so called legends that came before me. Now I am one those so called legends.
I never said that Michael Kyzer wasn’t a hypocrite. I am everything else that is sh~tty in this world, why not be a f~cking hypocrite while I am at it.
I am not a so called legend.
I am The F~cking Legend.
I am everything that everyone for the last 13 years has aspired to be.
Everyone wants to come into this world riding the cumshot I came in riding.
Everyone wants to be Michael F~cking Kyzer.
You want to know why? Because my c~ck is huge, I smash a lot of ass and I always win.
Always smashing a lot of ass…
David knows this.
He rode around with me for a year. He knows me.
I know him.
At least I thought I did.
It is a blow to my ego to see this change. That is the same as a declaration of war.
The War of The New Epoch.
All we need is Drakz…all in good time.
This is just my time with David. This is when I see if he ever learned anything from me. I know that he learned from Drakz on how to take a beating.
Are you ready, David? Is Nat ready to see you get your face smashed in again? Lila did you no favors with the stipulation of no disqualification. You aren’t the one with a seven foot Dragon watching your back. I am always a fan of using the advantages that are handed to me. I can’t wait to see just what kind of threshold for pain you have.
I want to hurt you. I want to break you. I want to drive you back to the bottle. I want you to succumb to the demons that possessed you when I first met you. I want that David Brennan back. I want that guy to stand with me on the ashes of The New Epoch. I want that guy with me when I finally break Drakz for good.
That title of yours is coming to me. To get what I want, I have to take everything from you. Your title, your health, I will even take your precious little Nat if I have to. I will comfort her after I put you out of your misery. I will give her a little Kyzer baby to forget about you. We will call him David in your memory. We will raise him in the ways of a drunken skinhead like his namesake. And when that child becomes old enough, he will accomplish all the things you failed to accomplish. The world will have a real David.
That is just one scenario. Another scenario is I use her grief to assf~ck her while she cries over your coffin. Either way I have fun.
I don’t like New York, the state or the city. It never had the appeal that a Las Vegas or Macao has. But the WFWF is smart to market this match in the most famous arena in the world even if that arena is New York City. Madison Square Garden is an arena with a history rich with wrestling. Obviously Lila is a smart businesswoman. This match with Brennan is a cash cow for her. I am going to bring in the eyes this company needs. The money is going to come with those eyes.
Madison Square Garden…David Brennan defending the WFWF World Heavyweight against Michael Kyzer…
You have to make the most of such a situation. This is a battle between brothers. At least that is the way to market it.
Truth be told, the brotherhood died when I broke Drakz’s back. David disappeared while I enjoyed a lengthy vacation in Southeast Asia, and while Drakz sat in a hospital. I am sure there is some record of his activities after the event but I can’t be bothered to do the research. I don’t really care about what happened with him since then and now. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is David Brennan has become a p~ssy. He is a p~ssy that needs to be f~cked into submission. Take that however you want.
His whole story between then and now is completely irrelevant. His life is irrelevant without me in it. I am the nucleus of everything that has ever been interesting in the life of David Brennan.
The God of F~ck is going to do what he does second best…win.
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Past
He is staring at me with disbelief.
DMK:What the f~ck do you have Fred Durst backing you up in the ring? What does he bring to the table that I can’t bring?
Kyzer: Besides height?
DMK:That’s not funny.
Kyzer: He has name recognition. You don’t. Also I don’t need my drug dealer on television with me.
DMK:He put out a bunch of sh~tty music like ten years ago. What kind of name recognition does he carry now? And why does my profession have to do with anything? That is prejudice man.
He makes a point about Durst. He doesn’t have any credible name recognition. I just thought it would be funny to bring a tool like him into the wrestling world. It proved amusing and effective for the plans I have going on. I didn’t expect DMK to get all testy about this. For years he has been trying to get me to bring him into this world. He obviously doesn’t understand that midgets possess in this industry. I guess there is some humor for me in that. At least until he does something stupid like shoots someone.
Kyzer: You can’t claim I am being prejudice against you for your occupation. You are a drug dealer. I am being prejudice against you because you are a hobbit and you can’t do anything to aid me in a situation where I need to hurt someone.
He is angry. I might get shot now.
DMK:F~ck you, I can pistol whip some kracker.
Kracker?
Kyzer: You disappoint me sometimes.
It is like I kicked a puppy. That really hit him hard. His anger turns to sadness. I think he might cry. I wonder if he was ever tested for a bipolar disorder? He is being extra sensitive today. I don’t think he would like it if I offered to get him some Midol and chocolate.
Kyzer: Don’t cry. Just don’t use the word kracker again. It makes you seem low class and ghetto.
This comes from the guy who cusses every third sentence.
DMK:I just want to be out there to help you out. I want to be your right hand guy.
That could be misconstrued.
DMK:Come on man, get me involved.
A midget begging is just as pathetic as one might think. He is looking up at me from his spot on the ground with big sad eyes and a white nose. It is a sad sight if you don’t find the idea of a coked up midget crying entertaining. Luckily I can find the entertainment value in this.
Kyzer: Let me think about it. I will talk it over with Drakz.
DMK:F~ck Drakz. He is an bunghole. You don’t need him.
DMK hates Drakz. Drakz hates DMK. It has always been that way. I think DMK is jealous. Midget problems.
Kyzer: I don’t need anyone. Drakz and I are brothers. We have plans for the future. You need to get over your dislike for him.
Normally I don’t care about their beef with each other but I don’t need an irrational midget screwing up what Drakz and I have planned for the future.
DMK:You are my brother doesn’t that count for something?
No.
Kyzer: This conversation is getting a bit too emotional for me. I am starting to think I am talking to your sister.
He is dejected. He needs to toughen up. He would never survive prison if he ever got arrested. DMK has his uses. He has proven savory in acquiring drugs and hookers when I need them. He really took notes when The Wire was on. He is a regular Stringer Bell. I hope he remembers that Stringer gets betrayed by his best friend.
Kyzer: I will try to find a place for you in the new era.
DMK:I just think I can be an asset. You will never have someone more loyal than me.
That is probably true, but new loyalties can be bought or blackmailed. Everyone is replaceable, even DMK. I can always find a new dwarf to act as my sidekick. I have spent a lot of time on DMK though. Do I want to throw all that away? I took a lonely, nerd midget with social issues and turned him into one of the bigger drug dealers in Seattle. DMK does know how to throw a party thanks to me also. Go big always.
Kyzer: I know you can be asset. I just have some things in the works that I need to see pan out before we bring you aboard.
DMK:We? Why does Drakz have a voice in this?
Kyzer: Because he can get in the ring and actually compete with me. He also has a history and reputation in the WFWF that you don’t have. We are the biggest two stars to ever go through that place.
F~ck EBR and his beef with my boy Alex. I eclipse both in notoriety.
Kyzer: I promise I will find a spot for you. Can we just drop this conversation now?
DMK:Fine. Just know I am going to say I told you so when Drakz fails you and you wish you had me in his spot.
Just like a b~tch on the rag. I need more dope if I am going to deal with this guy on a more regular basis. It is exhausting like a marriage but without the annual happy.
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I have watched my mother and father both die.
I buried my son.
I outlived three girlfriends.
I have witnessed overdoses.
I have been blamed for suicides.
I have watched the world burn.
I consider myself pretty familiar with Death.
It doesn’t scare me. I know that someday I will die.
I walk into every fight knowing there is no certainty that I will wake up tomorrow.
I live every day as if there will be no sunrise in the morning.
This makes me dangerous.
I don’t have anything to lose in this fight.
You have everything to lose.
That makes you reckless.
Even if you manage to beat me, since if it changes anything…it didn’t for Frank. He is still a tool who is looking up the ladder at me.
Even if I lose, I win.
I already broke you.
Who the f~ck gets their ass beat by kids? I know I have asked the question before but I still can’t figure out the answer. That went way better than I anticipated. Thank you Thailand for your corrupt ways.
You got fed to a Dragon who spit out your bones.
I am friends with Death.
How can you overcome that?
How can you beat someone who is fighting for no reason beyond a desire to piss on everything you have become?
I want chaos.
I want pain.
I want to bring this to your life. I want you to be reduced to your baser self. I want you broken and crying out for help.
I want you to pray to The God of F~ck for mercy and redemption. I want you to reach out for my hand right before I chop off your head.
I am going to deny you any relief from the pain, physical and emotional.
Your life is going to be shattered into A Million Little Pieces and then you will be exposed as the b~tch you have become, a sadder version of James Frey.
The odds are against you. One washed up skinhead against a Dragon and a God? This is a total mismatch.
It is Main Event Gold though.
I am finding myself respecting Lila Sleater’s business acumen.
She knows what will draw the ratings.
Michael Kyzer destroying the life of David Brennan is absolute money. The only bigger marquee would be Kyzer vs Drakz but that will come on my terms as everything always does.
I am the best. I am the best because I wholeheartedly believe it. Nothing can shatter the confidence I have in my abilities in the ring.
I am a master at talking, promoting, and marketing myself. I am a genius as exposing the weaknesses in the chumps I come across. I am an expert technician in that ring. It often gets overlooked because I am just so damn charismatic.
I am superior to David in everything that matters. The more I talk about it, the more it seems like this is an unfair fight. I have every advantage and the only thing he has on me is that he has more white trash tattoos.
If you won’t embrace me as your Lord and Savior at the end of this, I am going to introduce you to my friend, Death, and put you in the ground.
I buried my son without shedding a tear. I won’t lose any sleep ending your life.
History means everything and nothing here. If we never chose you to be the third member of The New Epoch, you would never be where you are now. You wouldn’t have that title. You would be just another insignificant cog in the WFWF wheel. Our history made you. And it won’t save you. It won’t matter. I will break your face again. I will cut you down at the knees and systematically dissect you.
The New Epoch is dead and I am going to bury the last relic from it. [/i]
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Past
This is some good f~cking weed. It hits hard. I can feel it in my joints. A deep tissue massage would be the tits right now. I look over at Drakz. He is on the same plane of existence as me. He feels it. When the Kyzer Drakz Regime took power, it began a ride with Drakz that has lasted almost seven years now. The Regime was our feeling our process of working with each other. It proved a success albeit a fleeting one. We jumped ship at the peak and left chaos behind. Now we aim to embark on another adventure together. Not one of chaos and anarchy like The Regime, but one of controlled destruction.
Drakz: How about we call ourselves “The New Epoch”?
He exhales a cloud of smoke and produces a cheesy grin. He knows that is an epic level name.
Kyzer: I love it.
Drakz: A new era of Drakz and Kyzer.
Who doesn’t want more Drakz and Kyzer? We are the most interesting people in this promotion. Schneider is nothing but an assclown with a fetish for snuff films. Hutton Brown, Ace Bennett? Neither of them offer the world anything of value. We are the heart and soul of this place since EBR ran away like a b~tch and Alex Sean decided he didn’t have it in him anymore. It is up to us to carry this place on our backs just like we did in 2006.
Kyzer: I think we need to expand our circle. This isn’t 2006. We don’t have management on our side this time. And this is more than just giving in to our whims. We want to rebuild this company in our image. It has too much of an EBR feel to it these days. We need to build that glass ceiling below us and keep everyone else out.
These lesser mammals need to learn their place in the food chain.
Drakz: How about David?
Who the f~ck is David?
Kyzer: Who the f~ck is David?
Drakz: David Brennan. The guy I faced at Superbrawl.
This is some damn good herb. I completely spaced on that. The guy did catch my eye during his match with Drakz.
Kyzer: Yeah, he did look like he had some potential we could exploit.
Drakz: He also faces Schneider coming up so bonus on that.
Kyzer: I feel a plan forming.
Our cause would go better if we could add a good foot soldier like Brennan to our army. He has some demons that we could definitely utilize. Hopefully we can mold him into the first pupil of The New Epoch.
Drakz: I think the guy will be receptive when we show him the advantages of rolling with us.
Who wouldn’t want to get an instant ride to the top?
Kyzer: Speaking of rolling with us, DMK wants to be a part of this.
Drakz chokes as I catch him while he is hitting the blunt.
Drakz: What does that little muppet think he can bring to the table besides drugs?
Kyzer: He does have an unwavering dedication to me.
Drakz: He is a f~cking loon with the intelligence of a child and access to firearms. He is a disaster. Plus he is annoying as all hell. F~ck that twat.
I can only laugh. This was about the reaction I expected.
Drakz: He has some real problems. You need to send him to a specialist in one of those mental hospitals.
I can’t disagree but I do see the advantage of DMK in the right setting. I am just up in the air as whether this is the right place for him. I can picture the absurdity of it all now. He would probably try to lead his own clown car of a group on some stupid mission born from pettiness. As savvy as he can be sometimes, it gets completely overlooked by how outrageous he is most of the time. Last time Drakz saw DMK, he walked into a room where DMK was getting blown by a midget hooker. Drakz still complains about the image being burned into his mind. There is truly nothing more revolting than two midgets f~cking. Even The God of F~ck has some boundaries. It is the equivalent of child porn.
Kyzer: I don’t disagree that he can be a handful. He does have some uses. His latest obsession with Dog the Bounty Hunter has given me a few ideas when I am forced to listen to him go on coked up diatribes about the show. If we can keep him focused then he could prove to be a useful little hobbit.
Drakz: Hey, if you want to bring him, then go ahead. He is one hundred percent your problem and responsibility. And I am not held accountable if I have to straighten him out with some good old fashion violence.
Kyzer: Fair enough.
Is it a hate crime if a Welshman beats up a Hobbit?
Kyzer: This future that we going to bring to the world is going to be very entertaining.
Drakz: Especially after we responsibly clean up all this pollution that is everywhere in the WFWF.
The New Epoch…beautifying America with every poor sh~t we throw out.
Drakz: This feels good, us running through the WFWF together again.
I can’t disagree. I have never had someone I actually considered a brother until I met Drakz and that includes my own flesh and blood. We were just two guys who say the world in the same light.
Kyzer: Control your erection.
He laughs. If I am going to burn down the world, Drakz is the man to have on your side. His mind is just as devious as mine and he is just as blessed at f~cking up frat boy rejects. I can taste the future. A hostile takeover isn’t going to work this time. It is going to be an all-out war. We are going to destroy everything and rebuild it in our image. We are the ones who are carrying the company now. The company needs to reflect that. We deserve to have homage paid to us by the WFWF universe.
Drakz: It just hit me.
Kyzer: What?
Drakz: I just figured out why I hate DMK so much. He looks like a Koala bear that was given radiation treatment and lost all his hair from it. It is just such an ugly abomination that it needs to be put out of its misery.
I can see that.
I dont know good luck 
