WFWF Under The Dome: You Believe There's Something Else...
Aug 12, 2018 15:36:41 GMT -5
The Violent Gentleman likes this
Post by Markw on Aug 12, 2018 15:36:41 GMT -5
WFWF Under the Dome – You Believe There’s Something Else…
Ya ever feel like you’ve been flung from one life to another?
I ain’t talking reincarnation or s***e like that, just things totally flippin’ on their heid.
See, I grew up in Possil, which for those of yous who donnae know, is rough as a badger’s arse.
I ain’t used to things going well. I ain’t used to getting a whole hell of a lot outta life. Fact I’m use to being called a bawbag and picking me teeth up off the pavement.
But f*** me have the last few months been different.
---
Shuggy: I hate to say it Pops, but that thing is not of this planet.
Poppy: ’That Thing’ is your daughter.
Shuggy: I’m sorry but human poo is not green, it just isnae. And there’s no way something that small should be producing that much of it, ain’t right.
Poppy: It’s not green.
Shuggy: It’s green, look at it, it’s f***in’ green.
Good God, I’m really sorry Ellie, I’m sure you will prove to be worth it – but why the f*** did I have sex with that man?
Poppy: You’re really not helping you know. It’s a bad enough job as it is.
Shuggy: Well if you’re kickin’ me out like. I ain’t about to start complaining.
Yeah that’s it, you whine about it until I have to get you to leave and I’ll do this wonderful job on my own - again. Great.
Poppy: Thanks for all the support.
Shuggy: Nae probs, want a cuppa?
Poppy: Sure.
Tea. Tea. Nice to know we’re going to contribute equally to this whole parenting endeavour isn’t it?
And off he went, another successful escape. I carry on retching and working on my own, which I'm sure you've gathered, is becoming something of a common theme. Perhaps mothers in relationships with the father’s of their children are able to get out of some of this s*** (pun intended), I alas am not.
Andy: How you getting on?
Oh great, we’ll probably get to here about my baby poo now Grandad’s here, that’s just what we need isn’t it Ellie?
Poppy: Don’t ask.
Andy: Shuggy not pulling his weight?
Poppy: That’s one way of putting it. Here hold this.
If you’re going to get yourself involved, you’re going to hold baby s***.
Andy: I was just the same. It’s just easier being in a gym day to day, focusing on your job than, well, than this.
Poppy: Are you trying to help?
Andy: Not really, just saying.
Poppy: Well I’m getting by anyway.
Andy: Doesn’t mean he doesn’t care.
Poppy: Oh I’m well aware he cares, just not at 3:00am or when she does a dump.
Andy: Sounds like he’ll wind up being the kind of top class Dad I am.
He does love laughing at his own jokes.
Andy: You know it’s going to get worse right?
Poppy: How so?
Andy: You use your media position to get him a job in the WFWF right around the time they’re planning a world tour, you must know you’ve opened yourself up for at least a good few months of single parenting right?
Poppy: Yep.
Andy: And I mean, I’m gonna need to be training him pretty long hours if he’s going to get anywhere near ready, so I’m not exactly going to be on hand day and night. You know that right?
Poppy: Of course.
Doesn’t take a rocket scientist does it.
Poppy: Doesn’t exactly sound too different to the current state of affairs though, to be honest Dad.
Andy: Fair enough.
In returned the hero of the hour, warm beverages in hand.
Shuggy: Here you are Pops. And for you boss.
Andy: Cheers.
Poppy: Yeah, thanks.
Just in time, job done. We all take a moment to stare at the little sweetheart, she is bloody cute.
Andy: You’re really lucky you know. Both of you.
Shuggy: Aye. Would I sound like too much of a stereotype if I called her a bonnie wee lass?
Andy: Yes.
Poppy: You absolutely would.
She is though.
---
Excited as I am, an’ f*** me am I excited, there is a wee part of me that’s feeling, well, a bit guilty to be honest.
I know it’s stupid, I didnae f*** Joe Bishop’s leg up.
But it feels a bit undeserved ya know? I’m going on this World Domination tour, and Joe Bishop is sitting, God knows where, no career, pushed his friends away, and he’s one a’ the best wrestlers on the planet if you ask me. Isnae fair, but then I guess sometimes life ain’t.
And to be honest I’ve been in a bitta a Catch 22 on the whole thing. Joe seems to want to keep himsel’ to himsel’, and that’s fine an’ all, I do respect that. But man, he’s given me so many tips over the years, an’ going into this one, I feel like I need his take on it ya know?
Andy’s great and I respect that c*** more than you could possibly imagine. But you look at Ultimate Supremacy an’ Andy got it wrong, Joe got it right, an’ he won the World Championship. I mean I’d have to be a fool not to at the very least try to tap into some o’ that, right?
I do know ringing Bish is, best case scenario, gonna include a political rant. And I ain’t all that interested ta be honest, me Ma and Pa taught me ‘f*** Thatcher’ and tha’s served me more than well enough down the years.
It feels like I cannae risk not doing it though. I know I amnae the guy the WFWF are pinning their hopes on going forward. I amnae the future of this company, not in the eyes of anyone with eyes. Doesnae take a rocket science to figure that one out. So this tournament? This is my chance, maybe my only chance, to prove that I can hang with these guys. That I’m as much a prospect as a Mesh or a KC Jones or a Sean Casey. If I don’t grab this f***er with both hands then that’s prolly it in termsa serious chances in the WFWF for me.
Joe Bishop knows how to handle this kinda situation, I’d have to be stupid notta give him a call at least.
An’ of course, I shouldn’t have been surprised when I was met with.
‘You’re through to the voicemail of Joe Bishop, please leave a message after the tone.’
Bummer.
Shuggy: ‘Awright Joe? Shuggy here, just wannin’ to check in, wondered if I could pick your brains when you got a min? Cheers’
I amnae exactly hopeful, but hey, you donae ask, you donae get.
---
Shuggy: Y’awright?
Poppy: Yeah not too bad, you?
Shuggy: Aye, good thanks.
Poppy: And how’s my little girl?
Please, take her.
Shuggy: S***tin’, screamin’, cryin’, the usual.
Poppy: Aww, isn’t she sweet.
Shuggy: Aye, she smells like a f***ing sewage system though.
Oh nae, the famous Poppy Yates death glare, whatever will I do.
Shuggy: I got something I needa run by you.
Poppy: Yeah?
Man, I’ve been putting this off way too long. Here goes.
Shuggy: Aye see, it’s about, well you hear Andy’s managed to get a word with Lila Sleater? F*** knows how he got her ear, but he put my name forward, and, thing is, they’ve offered me a contract.
Poppy: Oh, wow, congrats.
Shuggy: Would, would you mind if I took it?
You’re in a world of f***in’ pain if she says yes here pal. Really need to start asking about things like this before making decisions. Maybe I should write that one down.
Poppy: Of course not, it’s a huge opportunity, I get it.
Shuggy: I’ve just been pushing for it for so, so long, and who knows, if I can make a go of it, Ellie could be set for life you know.
Poppy: Absolutely.
Shuggy: An’ it’s no’ just the money.
‘cause they’re paying f***in’ peanuts but best not to disclose that one.
Shuggy: I mean, how f***in’ cool would it be for 18 year old wrestler Ellie to have a picture with the World Championship while she’s smaller than it? She ain’t gonna remember anything I could do for her here, but that’s something f***in’ awesome I could give her.
Not sure why she’s laughin’ like?
Poppy: Look, no offence Hugh, but your Intergalactic Spaceman replica is a close as you’re ever getting to that thing, you know that right?”
Shuggy: Can a bhoy not dream?
Poppy: No.
That’s it, break it gentle lass.
Poppy: You really shouldn’t anyway.
Shuggy: Aye, well, you never know. Whatever, a professional wrestler for a Dad? That’s a lot cooler than some wee p**** from Glasgow with no qualifications, sittin’ behind a desk, not a clue what he’s doin’.
Poppy: No arguments here.
Shuggy: I just you know, I donnae wanna leave you in the lurch. Ellie’s my top priority, if you need me here then ju…
Poppy: I just don’t know how I’m going to manage without you.
My sarcasm-sense is tingling.
Poppy: Don’t worry about it, honestly, you have my blessing.
Shuggy: You sure?
Poppy: Certain. Go and do something she can be proud of.
Shuggy: Thank you it really does mean so much to me. An’ whether you like it or not, I’m gonna be back every five minutes.
God I’m not looking forward to this touring schedule, the wrestling sure, but being away from that little lass ain’t going to be fun at all. F***.
Poppy: Of course. And hey, it's gonna be embarrassing reading about Daddy being inducted into the Hall of Shame, but at least it's Mummy's article she'll be reading. Isn't that right Ellie.
I did chuckle, even if I am a wee bit worried that it's funny 'cause it's prolly gonna come true.
Poppy: Thanks for looking after her tonight.
Shuggy: Nae problem.
Well at least that was fairly painless. Then again, wee part of me kinda wanted her to stop me. Guess I cannae be thinking like that.
Andy Yates: You alright Shugs?
Shuggy: Huh, oh aye, sorry, in a world of my own.
I took so long looking for the words he isnae even here for the answer.
Figure I’ll sit outside the door for a wee minute, would be good to know what Pops and her Pop are really making o’ this.
Andy: If you didn’t want him to go you really shouldn’t have suggested him to Lila.
She did what now?
Poppy: I dunno, I figured it’d make things less complicated, and I mean he really wants it. Now it’s come to it? I’m f***ing terrified of doing this on my own, you know?
Andy: You’re not on your own.
Poppy: I know. You, you know what I mean.
---
Shuggy: Yous think I’m ready boss?
She just wouldn’t take no for an answer, would she? She’s always been stubborn, but this? This really is taking the piss. You work tirelessly tryin’ to help make something of a kid who, let’s be honest, needs to put in a lot of work. You really start to make some inroads, but there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind you’re not there yet.
And then your daughter decides she’s gonna take advantage of her place on the inside to recommend the kid for a job with the biggest promotion on the planet. She recommends the kid to the WFWF because ‘of course he’s ready’ well no, he’s not, and throwing him in prematurely ain’t helping him, it’s throwing him to the wolves.
The best bit is, that there’s no way Lila or whoever is running things behind the scenes nowadays, there’s no way they should have entertained the idea. You don’t need the best scouts in the world to see that this kid is years off that level. And you really shouldn't be letting your journalists do your scouting, not if you're serious.
But when you’ve got a show in the UK to promote an extra British talent might help put the odd butt in a seat. When you’re blowing your load on Z-list celebrities and failed-ex wrestlers who still command a decent fee because of their cross-sport success, it makes fiscal sense to bring in the desperate kid who’ll sign the first contract he’s given. When you’ve got these guys, like KC Jones and Lance Rodriguez, you’re throwing everything behind, it’s worth having a kid you can rely on to do the job for ‘em.
Me and Joe really would’ve had a good laugh and/or cry over this one.
And now I’ve gotta stand here and lie to the kid, because a) if I don’t I’ll sound like a knob, and b) he needs to be kept positive if he’s going to have even the tiniest chance of throwing a spanner in the works.
You really couldn’t make it up.
Andy: A couple more sessions like this between now and the Dome and yeah, you might just have a shot.
Kills me to do it. I really ain’t looking forward to picking up the pieces after this one.
Shuggy: Course I will, you wouldnae have put us up for the gig otherwise. Right?
Dad, let’s tell him you got in touch with Lila, he wouldn’t like it if he knew it was me who put his name forward.
Andy: Absolutely.
Shuggy: I know you didnae, heard you talking to Pops.
She always has had a big gob.
Andy: Fair enough you got me.
Shuggy: Do you think I can do this? Really?
Andy: Yes. I mean I learned to stop judging too much when it turned out the janitor and the silly dancing teenage girl could do this, but yeah. Course you can.
I mean probably not. But, the aforementioned, stranger things have happened.
Andy: This is what we’ve spent the last few years working for.
Shuggy: I really cannae f***ing wait you know.
Andy: Yeah, well, let’s make sure you’re ready.
Or at least as ready as I can get you, sparring can only do so much.
---
Ya know, I really do feel like the luckiest guy in the world right now.
To move from a world of discontent, to one of incredible potential. From bar fights in the worst corners of Glasgow, to having a beautiful little girl and the chance to do what I’ve always dreamed of.
You cannae f***ing buy that. You couldnae f***ing write it.
An' first up, the first chance to test myself against the elite, Sean Casey. ‘The Violent Gentleman’. Legendary gaijin. Master of the Strong Style. A man who has proved more than worthy of his nickname over the years.
I get it mate, I do. You’re the favourite, I ain’t about to complain ‘bout that one. Yous a former WFWF wrestler, a champion everywhere you been, an international superstar.
I’m a wee Scotsman in silly green tights.
For me Japan is a whole new f***in’ world. The last couple of years I’ve branched out across the British Isles, but before that? I’d barely been south of the f***in’ Clyde.
You?
Not only ain’t Japan new to you, the f***in’ Dome ain’t. It’s practically a spiritual home.
I know I’m not just in for a fight with a tough b***stard. I am. But I’m also preparing for a wrestling match with a wrestler who is more experienced than me in just about every way possible. A wrestler who has competed with some of the greatest talent all over the world. A wrestler who has proved himself in that ring everywhere he’s been. A wrestler who can go into this tournament expecting to come out of it with a championship belt.
I like to think imma grounded sorta guy. I amnae gonna walk in and say I’m all that. Claim I can make a case for being anything other than a huge f***in’ underdog in this one.
You’re a seasoned pro, and this, for me, is essentially match number one. Not in a literal sense, but in termsa legit competition? I ain’t been up against anyone like you before.
And I’m walkin’ into it in an arena where you’ll be greeted like a hero comin’ home, an’ the response I get’ll be exactly the response I got from KC Jones ‘wtf is a shuggy?’.
Doesnae bother me, as I say, where I grew up everyone’s taken more than their fair share o’ kickin’s. But I know it’ll give you a lift, and let’s face it, the difference in experience between the two a us? It’s a lift you prolly dinnae need.
As a competitor, an opponent for me to go toe to toe with, you’re more than just a f***in’ challenge, you’re comfortably the toughest SOB I’ve stepped in that ring with.
I ain’t thick. I know that prolly adds up to my shoulders on the mat 1…2…3 by the end of the night.
But see, I wouldnae be here, if I were just gonna accept that ‘cause it’s the likely outcome. I like going out there an’ having fun, playing to the crowd, sure. But I am here to win. I am here to prove that I can go in that ring, that I can be the next WFWF *fingers crossed* Intergalactic Spaceman Champion.
I’ve been working my whole life for this, I really f***in’ want it, and I ain’t like you or Jones or half of the others. I ain’t been given a bumper contract. I’ve been given a year, on less than I make on the indies, to be a warm body and maybe, maybe if I make somethin’ of myself I get another year of bein’ a warm body.
But see, I ain’t satisfied with that. I amnae gonna be the Jock ‘we can feed to the future stars’.
An’ you know what? All this luck I’ve been having of late, this brilliant new life that’s fallin’ into place around me?
I ain’t ready for it to stop. I dunnae think it’s about to stop.
Maybe that kinda optimism isn’t safe, sensible even. But you know what? F*** it. I am gonna win this match, and the next, and the next, and the next. I’m gonna sit down with Ellie Aurora Boyd-Yates when she’s old enough, show her the tape of my debut match, and she’s gonna see me pin yous 1…2…3. I’m the kind of guy, who’s gonna step into that ring and believe that whatever common sense points to, whatever the stats suggest, whatever the experts reckon, I am gonna knock it outta the park.
Gonna happen all the time? Course not.
But you think that’s gonna stop me believing, and getting back in there, and pushing and pushing to make my dreams come true? To adding yet another positive to what has been a ride full o’ them of late?
It just ain’t.
I am no’ some wee ginger fanny here to make up the numbers.
I’m some wee ginger fanny whose aboutta push you all the way.
Here we, here we, here we f***ing go.
OOC: So I found this quite challenging in that I’ve been writing Bishop for so long that this was a real change of pace. I’d be interested to see how people think the voice feels and whether or not the Scottish slang and shortenings are too much, or work. I found that quite difficult to gauge. Also a bit apprehensive about this one as whereas I was very comfortable with Bishop, this is a bigger step away from writing what I know. I’m hopeful Shuggy will end up feeling distinct without taking away the areas that are perceived as being my strengths, but I guess it’s going to take a little while to get there.
I’d got to a point where work was making it difficult to find time to put together the RPs I wanted to write for Bishop. If anything I’m just hopeful that with Shuggy I’ll feel more comfortable putting out more concise RPs while I learn to juggle the WFWF and real life.