Under The Sakura RP: Well, Sh*t.

[Joe Magnet]

Joe's Mom's House
July 23rd
6:32pm

Well, sh*t.

Watch your mouth! You're at dinner!

I'm sorry, Mom. I'm just pissed off that I lost, you know?

No, Joseph, I don't know. And don't apologize, just don't do it again.

Mom, how come you're so unsupportive of me wrestling?

You were supposed to go to college, Joseph. You were supposed to become a doctor 
or a lawyer, or better yet, both. But instead you decide to go fake fight random
people and hurt yourself. Why should I be supportive of something so stupid?

Oh I don't know. Maybe because I'm your son?

Sons are supposed to listen to listen to their parents. Not rebel against them.

Well mothers are supposed support their children through everything. But you've never
realized that, have you? Like c'mon dude, you have never realized that parents are supposed
to be with their children when they do stuff, not against them.

Excuse me? I'm your mother, not one of your buddies. Don't call me "dude."

Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. For your information, I don't have any "buddies." I never have. You
always thought you were doing me favors by introducing me to all of your friends' kids. All they 
did was talk about basketball and golf. What kind of kid talks about golf? They sucked, Mom. 

Speaking of favors, why don't you do me one and stop this wrestling thing and go back to college.
It's what your father would have wanted. Do you think he would have approved of all of this?

Don't you dare talk about Dad. Dad actually tried to understand me and raise me. He was
so much more of a parent than you were. He supported my decisions, while you stood there
in the background shaking your head in disappointment. I'm sorry I disappointed you but 
there comes a point where you need to stop the bullsh*t and realize that you don't
control me anymore. You want to know if Dad approves of this? Why don't you go to the
ing cemetery and ask him?

Joe storms to the door and leaves.

JOSEPH! JOSEPH GET BACK HERE! JOSEPH!

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

Joe's NJ Apartment
July 24th
6:59am

Joe wakes up after a deep sleep. He gets out of bed, makes a bowl of cereal, and sits in
his recliner to watch reruns of old cartoons.

Wow, last night was rough.

He checks his phone. 7 Missed Calls from Mom.

He shrugs it off and puts the phone in his pocket.

Sweet! Pokemon!

"I wanna be, the very best. Like no one ever was!"

As he begins singing the theme song, someone knocks on his door. Joe opens the door and
there stands a tall man holding an envelope.

Hi, I live next door, and someone slid this letter under my door late last night with your name on it.
I didn't want to wake you, so I just kept it on my coffee table to give it to you whenever
I see you. However I heard you singing so I decided to come by and drop it off.

Hmph. Thanks, I guess.

Have a nice da-

Joe slams the door before the man can finish his sentence.

He opens the envelope. It's a letter.

A letter? Who the hell sends letters nowadays?

"Dear Joseph,

I recently ran into your mom at Walmart. She's so nice, just like I remembered her! We were talking about you and she
ended up giving me your address so we could talk. I know letters are kinda gay, but I wasn't sure
I could handle seeing you after well, you know. Anyways, here's my number. Call me soon and maybe we can do 
something. I'd love to catch up. 

I miss you.

Allison Martin"

What the sh*t?! 

He picks his phone out of his pocket and begins dialing the number.

Wait. This is a horrible idea! Everybody know you don't call the girl until after 3 days!

A sudden look of realization comes across his face. He lets out a sigh.

But then again, I did wait seven years. I don't wanna do this. But I have to.

He finishes dialing and hits Call.

A woman answers the phone.

Hello?

Joe struggles to find words.

Hello? Is anybody there?

H-*coughs*Hi. Um, is this, is this Allison Martin?

Yes. Why who's this?

It's a-

He hangs up the phone.

Oof. I need a nap.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

Gold's Gym
July 25th
3:48pm


Joe's forty-eight minutes into his workout and now is about to start on biceps.

He grabs the barbell and puts on 40 pounds and begins to lift.

As he's in the middle of his reps, Joey Raid walks over, looks at him, and begins to curl 80 pounds.

What are you looking at?

I don't know. I can't figure it out.

What's that supposed to mean?

Dude you're a professional wrestler; why are you only curling 40 pounds?

Okay well some people aren't as "well-endowed" as you, Raid.

I guess this is why you lost then.

"I guess this is why lost then heh"

Raid ignores Magnet's mockery and walks away.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            

Joe's NJ Apartment
July 26th


I can't let Raid get to me. I lost. It's over. But now I need my focus on the battle royal.
Ooo the battle royal. I can win a chance to fight for some gold. Maybe that'll shut Mom
up. Speaking of Mom, I should probably call her. 

Eh, she can wait. I've got bigger foods on my plate.

His phone rings. It's Allison.

Oh sh*t why is she calling? She doesn't even know it's me? Ah .

He picks up and says hello.

...Hello?

Joseph, I know it's you.

How'd you find out?

I recognized your voice. It hasn't changed much since 12th grade.

Well that's fantastic isn't it?

I didn't mean it in a bad way!

So what's, uh, what's up?

I want to see you.

Oh, I uh-

Let's get dinner soon? Tomorrow night?

Yeah, um that's great.

I'll send you the details soon. See you there.

Yup.

He hangs up the phone.

Holy-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     

Il Giardinello Ristorante
July 27th
6:40

Holy crap look at the prices of the food here! Does she think I'm rich? Twelve 
bucks for Chicken Fingers and French Fries? What the ?

Ahem.

Holy sh*t you scared the-

Oh my goodness.

Hello Joseph.

Jeez Allison you look amazing.

She blushes and as she sits down, says thank you.

How have you been? Your mom said you skipped college to fight? I never knew you
like boxing; you know my brothers love it!

Oh hehe, well um it's not exactly boxing, what I do.

Allison sits there, with a confused look on her face.

You see, I uh, I travel the world and wrestle people for others' entertainment.

Oh alright, so you wrestle. That's cool! Are you as good as those Olympic guys?

In his mind, Joe lets out just one word, before replying.

F*ck.

Nah actually that's not the kind I was talking about, either. When I say wrestle, I mean-

I know what you do Joe. I'm just busting your balls. I watched your thing from Japan.

You did? Did you, did you like it?

Yeah it was cool I guess I-

Allison's phone begins to ring.

Crap I'm sorry I have to take this. I'm going to have to leave.
It was nice seeing you. I'll call you later. Bye.

As she walks away, Joe sits there in confusion.

What the hell was that? I get invited to a fancy dinner and then she ditches me like I'm
nobody. 

Almost as if I'm just an average Joe.

[Deleted]

I really, really liked this. This was, in a word, fun. That opening scene at dinner was great, and it continued to be a really good piece. I laughed hard at that work-out piece with Raid too. One thing to pick out, you didn't touch upon the match, just keep that in mind. Even a monologue at the very end would be a nice wrap-up. The biggest piece of advice I can give you is pace yourself. You're doing great for debuting, keep it up!

[Joe Magnet]

Jul 29, 2015 18:34:43 GMT -5 @thekingofharts said:

I really, really liked this. This was, in a word, fun. That opening scene at dinner was great, and it continued to be a really good piece. I laughed hard at that work-out piece with Raid too. One thing to pick out, you didn't touch upon the match, just keep that in mind. Even a monologue at the very end would be a nice wrap-up. The biggest piece of advice I can give you is pace yourself. You're doing great for debuting, keep it up!

Ah crap. I knew I forgot something! Thanks for the kind words!

[Deleted]

Jul 29, 2015 19:15:44 GMT -5 Joe Magnet said:

Jul 29, 2015 18:34:43 GMT -5 @thekingofharts said:

I really, really liked this. This was, in a word, fun. That opening scene at dinner was great, and it continued to be a really good piece. I laughed hard at that work-out piece with Raid too. One thing to pick out, you didn't touch upon the match, just keep that in mind. Even a monologue at the very end would be a nice wrap-up. The biggest piece of advice I can give you is pace yourself. You're doing great for debuting, keep it up!

Ah crap. I knew I forgot something! Thanks for the kind words!

Hey, it happens! As long as you remember for the next one. Not a problem, Chuckie T was a FANTASTIC picbase for the character too.

[Joe Magnet]

Jul 29, 2015 19:27:22 GMT -5 @thekingofharts said:

Jul 29, 2015 19:15:44 GMT -5 Joe Magnet said:

Ah crap. I knew I forgot something! Thanks for the kind words!

Hey, it happens! As long as you remember for the next one. Not a problem, Chuckie T was a FANTASTIC picbase for the character too.

Thank you! As you can probably tell I love Chuck Taylor. The way he acts and how we wrestles is just awesome to me.

[Deleted]

Jul 29, 2015 19:44:32 GMT -5 Joe Magnet said:

Jul 29, 2015 19:27:22 GMT -5 @thekingofharts said:

Hey, it happens! As long as you remember for the next one. Not a problem, Chuckie T was a FANTASTIC picbase for the character too.

Thank you! As you can probably tell I love Chuck Taylor. The way he acts and how we wrestles is just awesome to me.

I can see! He's a fantastic talent (hopefully heading to WWE in the very near future)! PWG fan too? Feel free to shoot me a PM so as to not clog up this RP thread!

[CM Poor]

Don't get too caught up in the realm of what goes on in your character's day to day life. If it doesn't tie back to the match at hand somehow, then it's just a bunch of stuff that happens, which, ultimately, is what this became. When you're writing your character away from the ring, you want to do so with the intent of delving into their motivations for being in the WFWF at all. There were opportunities here with each one of the beats you took - mom, the girl, Raid - but instead you just moved on to the next beat, so that whatever happened with mom or the girl or Raid just wound up as inconsequential.

Try putting that into practice, and you'll only get better.

[Joe Magnet]

Jul 29, 2015 20:13:47 GMT -5 CM Poor said:

Don't get too caught up in the realm of what goes on in your character's day to day life. If it doesn't tie back to the match at hand somehow, then it's just a bunch of stuff that happens, which, ultimately, is what this became. When you're writing your character away from the ring, you want to do so with the intent of delving into their motivations for being in the WFWF at all. There were opportunities here with each one of the beats you took - mom, the girl, Raid - but instead you just moved on to the next beat, so that whatever happened with mom or the girl or Raid just wound up as inconsequential.

Try putting that into practice, and you'll only get better.

I see now after reading it again. It really did become a day to day life. I think I got too into his everyday life that I forgot to wrap it back around into WFWF.

[Dex]

I feel somewhat indifferent about this piece; to me there were many bits and pieces that were interesting, but as a whole I couldn't gravitate towards it as much as I would have liked. I don't mind that this piece is, for lack of a better term, a 'slice of life' type ordeal. I do feel that it is an interesting and refreshing perspective, but what I didn't like, is that the sequences that did happen, didn't seem to further plot or the character in any major way. Nothing that happened here was necessary for the audience to know. I feel like it could have been a much stronger piece had you continued to delve further. The piece in general had lots of potential for development, but still left me with questions; how is Allison important, why is Joe still being hanged around by his mother when he doesn't seem to care much about her at all? These are questions that you need to make sure you answer when writing, give the readers all that they need so that they can put the pieces together; I feel as if you didn't necessarily give much here. For your next outing I'd like to see delve further, I still don't quite understand quite a bit about the character, try to eliminate that doubt. I do find this character intriguing, I can't recall if a 'John Doe,' type character has ever been done for a long period, so you do have quite a bit to work with. Keep working at it, as the others said, you can and will improve.

[bad guy™]

Listen to Bren and Garrett. Focus on your match and the wrestling more than Magnet's normal life. Knowing more about the character is great. Character development is necessary. But use character development to allow the reader to see how it is affecting Magnet's mindset on his opponents/the match itself.