Post by Markw on Jul 28, 2015 17:11:21 GMT -5
WFWF Dead Bodies Are Buried Under The Sakura – Too Tired To Storm The Winter Palace
I was under the impression that the transition from young idealistic revolutionary, to bitter tired old man, would be a slow one.
I was under the impression that success, women, booze and glory would be sandwiched in between the two.
I was under the impression that I was going to save professional wrestling. I was under the impression that I was going to be flying the red flag over Madison Square Garden any time soon.
I was wrong.
You know I got so caught up, so excited by the prospect of changing the WFWF, making it great again, making it something to be proud of. I got so entangled in a war with Lila Sleater, with jockeying for position with Trace Demon, that I didn't even notice, I didn't notice what was happening to me.
Josh Dean, Samael Ahriman, Joe Bishop.
The International Championship and a shot at greatness.
A year ago, man I would have been pumped for this match. I'd have been bouncing off the walls. I'd have been desperate to show the world that I am ready for Drakz. That I'm ready for the World Championship. That I am ready to lead the WFWF.
Instead, I go in to this match, not caring. Maybe that's not the right way to put it, I do care. But not... not the way I should care.
Not as much as I should care.
I put so much energy, so much of my heart, into this revolution. So much blood, so much sweat, so many tears. I put everything I have into this.
And it unravelled in an instant. Because of me. Because I f***ed it up. And with the Revolution, went my passion for stepping into that ring. With it went the only thing I've ever felt passionate about.
This match will likely be my last. The last time I'm ever going to step into that ring, it certainly isn't going to happen again for a very long time. I don't want to go out on a loss, I don't want to go out feeling as s***y as I do about the WFWF right now. I want to go out a winner. I want to go out the number one contender. I want the world to know that the only reason they're not seeing Joe Bishop challenge for the WFWF World Championship, is because he's too damn pissed at the direction of this company to stick around.
And when, well if, the WFWF crumbles under Lila Sleater, I want to be the knight in shining armour, striding back in on a white horse, to pick up the pieces. To rebuild the greatest promotion in the history of professional wrestling.
Yet there's an inevitability about things right now. A sense that, no matter what I do, no matter what I change, no matter what I try, I will go into this match, main eventing a WFWF PPV for the first time, and I will lose it.
Let's face it, that's all I've done of late. Lose, lose, lose, lose, lose, lose, lose, lose. Like a broken F***ING record.
That's what I am now, a loser. A tired, complacent, has been. A joke. A jobber to the stars. A fraud, collecting pay checks he hasn't earned. A guy who's overstayed his welcome, past his sell by date, rotting up the place.
Let's face it, that's the truth of the matter. I'm not the same wrestler I was even a few months ago, I'm treading water in the deep end. As soon as this belt goes, and it will, I'll be left to choose between dropping back down with the tadpoles at the bottom of the card or leaving while I've still got a scrap of dignity. Stick around and become a Reckless, a David Williams, or leave and be forgotten.
They're not the glamorous options I expected.
I didn't put my body on the line time and time again, for this.
Every decision I've made, in and outside of that ring. Has not just been about what's best for me, it's been about what's best for the WFWF. It's been about making what I've always loved better. And okay, I didn't expect to be treated like a God. But I thought I'd get better than this.
I thought I'd be rewarded with more than a 'don't let the door hit you on the way out'.
I know I've alienated a lot of people, well let's face it, almost everyone I've come into contact with. But I never did it selfishly. I didn't let my social life, heck my life in general, crumble around me for myself. I did it because I had to do it to save this company. At least, I had to do it to stand a chance.
I feel entitled to more to be honest, and I have to stop myself thinking like that. Because I do realise, that we're only entitled to what we earn, and in wrestling you only earn anything by winning wrestling matches. I may have put as much as anyone else into this, but I've put it into the wrong battles. I've lost too many wars I needed to win. And even if I don't like it, even if it's not fair, I suppose I have to accept it.
Josh, Samael, I don't care about you to be honest, either of you. Not really. Maybe I did a couple of weeks ago when I was hanging on. When I was telling myself that I was going to turn it around. Now? I don't care. I just want to go out feeling good about something. Because right now, it all feels a little bit s***, and it shouldn't end like that. Years of my life should not end in the greatest anti-climax of all time. My revolution should not end like this.
But I know, not to expect anything less than 100% from both of you. And I know, deep down, that right now as much as I'd like to go out on a high, I'm not capable of topping that. As much as I don't care for you, you are both exception wrestlers, who could quite easily carry this belt with more poise, determination, desire and integrity than I've held it. Who could both give Drakz twenty times the challenge I could give him. You are hungry, talented, determined.
And I'm so, so tired.
---
Joe Bishop: “My contract with the WFWF ends two days after 'Dead Bodies Are Buried Under The Sakura', I doubt it'll come as a huge surprise to anyone that nobody in a position of authority wants to renew that contract and I wouldn't sign it if they did.”
The look on the reporters face is a picture. It's understandable I suppose, given my tendency to avoid giving the media much to go on, let alone info like that.
Reporter: “So.. are you still going to be taking on Josh Dean and Samael Ahriman”
Joe Bishop: “Of course.”
She seems much better prepared for that two word answer, a dazzling return to form even if I say so myself.
Reporter: “What will happen if you retain the International Championship, or earn a shot at the WFWF World Championship?”
Joe Bishop: “Well, I suppose you'll have to ask Lila Sleater that question. All I can say for sure is, I won't be continuing with the WFWF after my contract ends, my reign with International Championship will have to end then and I won't be taking up any opportunity to challenge for the World Championship if I earn it, at least not for the foreseeable future.”
Reporter: “So you're not ruling out challenging for the belt somewhere down the line if you win that fall?”
Joe Bishop: “Look, I really can't see myself stepping into a WFWF ring while Lila Sleater, or Trace Demon for that matter, have any position of power. Somewhere down the line, in a WFWF that isn't tainted by people who don't care about the health of the wrestling business, maybe I would. But, let's face it, that's not exactly on the horizon is it?”
But I so wish it were. My drive, my desire to conquer the WFWF isn't there any more, but a Sleater free WFWF? Maybe I'm just kidding myself, but I can't help but feel like that passion would come racing back.
Reporter: “So where does Joe Bishop go now?”
Joe Bishop: “I...”
Good question.
In retrospect, that's probably a question I should have asked myself already. Five days until my time in the WFWF comes to a close. To be honest I wasn't expecting things to end up like this, I hadn't planned for failure because I hadn't expected to fail. A victory over Trace Demon and I would be leading a revolution, a genuine attempt to rebuild the WFWF. Instead here I am, three years on from my return, with very little to show for it and about to leave the only place I've ever called home with no plan for what will follow.
I should have addressed it earlier, but I guess as usual I'm hoping something will fall into my lap.
Joe Bishop: “I have no idea. I've been wrestling since I was 16, bar a couple of years on job seekers. I've never had another job. Still it's fair to say I've fallen out of love with wrestling. So yeah, I have no idea, I'm open to suggestions I suppose.”
Reporter: “So, bearing in mind your second spell with the WFWF is about to come to a close, do you have any regrets about your time here?”
Joe Bishop: “Absolutely. I regret wasting the last year of my career trying to help a promotion that doesn't want to be helped. That wants to rot. I regret shortening my life going through wars with men like Trace Demon and Dave Demento for no real reason. I regret playing politics. I regret feeling proud about carrying this belt, because it's become quite clear that it doesn't represent what I want it to represent. I regret tearing my life apart for this promotion. There's an awful lot I regret about my time in the WFWF and I certainly won't be shedding any tears when I leave, whether it's as the International Champion, #1 Contender or a loser. I don't know where I go from here, not yet anyway, I don't know what I'll do. But I'm certain it'll be a lot more fruitful than wasting my time in a wrestling promotion that has forgotten what wrestling is.”
That seems like a pretty natural stopping point and a good place to end my final interview as a WFWF wrestler. Honestly? It feels pretty damn good.
---
It's funny, I've never batted an eyelid at another promotion. The WFWF is seen to be the biggest and best promotion in professional wrestling. At least that's how it's viewed in America. I never wanted to settle for second best, I didn't want to be one of those guys like Jack Sabbath who go and play in the crèche because they can't compete with the big boys.
The thought of wrestling anywhere else is alien to me. I came up through the Development Center, I earned my place in the WFWF. I've never worked full time for a promotion in Britain let alone anywhere else in the world. Only America. These trips to Japan and even to my own country, feel a bit odd to be honest. I've never really experienced wrestling in Japan, in Mexico, in Europe, in Canada. I've only ever wrestled for the WFWF, it's no surprise really that I've stagnated. And I've never even thought to go elsewhere. I talk about rebuilding the WFWF, but I've never even thought about the alternatives, about what should take it's place. I've never considered walking out on the promotion I loved.
But since I announced my exit from the WFWF my phone hasn't stopped ringing. Promotions from all over the world are offering me the chance to develop myself and prove Lila Sleater wrong by taking somebody else to the top. And sure, some are doing it just because I've got a name. A relatively high profile from my time in the WFWF but am still sufficiently cheap. Some are doing it because they think they can make a quick buck out of me. Make no mistake, I won't be rocking up at XWA any time soon.
But some places want me, because I am a bloody good wrestler. I may not be appreciated here, not by Lila Sleater, because I don't look like a star, because I can't capture an audience like a Trace Demon or a Drakz, because I don't play the games she wants me to play with the media. But there are places out there that want me for the right reasons. That would acknowledge and respect everything I can bring to the sport of professional wrestling rather than the soap opera of the WFWF.
I don't care who disagrees, I don't care if people think my lackluster performances of late make me a joke. I am a superb wrestler.
It's got me thinking about my recent run. I've felt pretty apathetic about the WFWF of late, I still do, I wasn't wrong to. But I was wrong to blame myself for everything that's happened. It's easy to lose, when you don't feel passionate about what you're doing. It's easy to let something fall apart when you don't really believe in it. I thought I was the problem but I'm not. The truth is my recent track record has less to do with me not being good enough, and more to do with the reasons I was fighting for this revolution in the first place.
I've made it quite clear of late, that I am dissatisfied with the way Lila Sleater runs the WFWF. And recently, I made the mistake of regretting challenging her. Regretting taking on what she was letting the WFWF become. I fell into the same trap as everyone else did, I fell into the trap of thinking that large attendances, happy clapper fans and good ratings, meant good wrestling. I, very briefly, fell into the trap of thinking that the WFWF was on the up. But let's face it, it's not.
Because professional wrestling isn't about money. It's not about drama. It's not about the good guy and the bad guy hitting each other with chairs or fighting over a bit of skirt.
A good professional wrestling company should be about bringing the most talented wrestlers in the world together and letting them wrestle. Not turning them into comedy acts.
Some times there's a time for revolution. But some times, it's just not worth saving. Sometimes it's too far gone. And sometimes, it's just not worth the energy.
Maybe my mistake wasn't waging war on Lila Sleater.
Maybe my mistake wasn't turning my back on Trace Demon.
Maybe my mistake wasn't becoming dissatisfied with a wrestling promotion that cares more about looks, size, charisma and story than wrestling.
Maybe my mistake was forgetting that the WFWF isn't the only show in town.
OOC: That's that then. It's been a really enjoyable and in a strange way therapeutic few years for me in the WFWF and even though I'm a bit dissatisfied with the end I can honestly say I've had a lot of fun, the most I've had in the WFWF. The drive just isn't there at the moment, and I've been really out of direction, so it's certainly the right time (perhaps slightly late but I wanted to see out this match) to take a break. I did enjoy writing bits of this - though I'm really out of the swing of things - and I'd like to come back at some point in the future, there are a lot of great writers I wanted to pit my wits against but didn't get the chance and a lot who I came up against when I really wasn't in the right state of mind to give them a challenge (I so wish I'd had a match with Josh and Shawn at the end of last year rather than now). I've in the last week or so had some ideas for a Bishop return in the future - I've done a bit of a u-turn on where I was at the end of my last RP for that reason - (which I've set the seeds for here and will continue to do sporadically in the WFWF.com thread if that's alright), so I'm sure I'll be back at some point although it won't be for at least a year as I've got to focus on my third year at Uni, finding a job for next year and everything else that's going on. Plus my idea for Bishop down the line depends on him taking a decent break from the WFWF so it makes sense. Thanks for the feedback, advice, aid and moral support everyone has given me over this stretch and I'm sorry for the occasions, particularly the last half a year, when it wasn't reciprocated.
