Post by badteacher on Jul 18, 2015 0:43:39 GMT -5
6/30/2006
Macon, Georgia
"Go get me another beer!"
"Ok." I say, hanging my head as I walk toward the empty refrigerator. "I made dinner, spaghetti."
"Yeah, well I grabbed a burger on the way home."
"Dustin, you knew I was cooking dinner." I say, handing him the last beer. "You even specifically told me to make spaghetti before you left the house"
"What's your point?"
"I can't eat all of this by myself, and Drake's already been fed."
"Well I changed my mind." He says, propping his oily boots up on the coffee table. "Tough luck."
A tear begins to build in my eye as I turn away from him. I was always taught to be obedient to your husband, but Dustin takes it too far with the way he degrades me. I could blame it on stress, but it's not like he has a stressful job. He tinkers around with his truck when he's not at the garage and does something he loves, never once asking what goals I have or what would make me happy. A better life is what would make me happy, in fact he painted quite the picture perfect marriage at first. That is until he demanded that I quit college to be his maid. I meant to say wife, but maid is much more appropriate because of the way I'm basically a second class citizen to him. Up with the sun to care for Drake while still managing to lay out his work clothes and pack his lunch. I clean our little two bedroom apartment top to bottom and manage the bills. This month like the previous nine, we're scraping by and I had to make the choice of cutting off our water or the internet. But does my day stop there? Nope, then I get dolled up to sit and wait for him for hours at a time only to be met with a comment about my hair or how I spend too much money on makeup when he strolls up.
'What would you need that sh*t for?' is how he normally responds when I'd bring up a subject that wasn't related to cars or his tired military stories. What Dustin doesn't tell people is that I placed many calls to his commanding officer, which pretty much kept him from being court marshaled when he wouldn't show for his engagements. He should be thanking me for his ability to tell the stories to the town drunks down at the bar, but no, rage is what I'm met with every day. It wasn't that way when I met him, but I guess that's what I get for being attracted to a uniform instead of the real person.
"Why the hell is the computer turned off?" He shouts, slamming his beer bottle down on the desk.
"We didn't have the money to pay for it."
"You mean to tell me that I'm out here working my ass off, and you can't even get the bills paid?"
"The money you make isn't stretching as far."
"Or maybe you're too stupid to do some simple math."
"Then why don't you do it and see how much money you have to blow afterwards."
"I can show you my pay stubs." He says with a snarl. "I know you think I don't go to work."
"I know you go to work, and I wish I knew where the money was going." I say, reaching on the counter for his wallet. "I need to see the receipts."
He rushes quickly over to snatch his wallet out of my hand. "Don't you f*cking touch my wallet."
"Dustin this isn't a game, I had to choose between the internet and water."
"That's your problem." He huffs. "It's my money, so it's my business what I do with it."
"If it's on me, I can always go back to work or school."
"And leave Drake with just anyone-f*cking brilliant idea there Einstein."
"He'd stay with your parents."
"That's great, get my mom to watch him so you can go and screw around on me."
I try my best to ignore the demeaning comments, but it's getting harder and harder to smile them off as playful around others. I can't even tell you the moment I actually realized he wasn't joking because it seems so long ago. I've been feeling useless since, and this is mild compared to the verbal onslaughts I've accepted as normal. I never expected to be sitting idle at home for as long as I have, but six weeks turns into six months and eventually a year or two pretty quickly. It's all been a blur of drunken rage mixed in with Drake flying through his developmental phases that I feel like I've missed my baby growing up. I want to go back to college, maybe walk-on to a gymnastics team. A few schools were interested when I was still competing in Juniors, but I never bring it up since Dustin isn't willing to relocate. With my parents in Atlanta his family basically surrounds us and he isn't willing to leave that comfort, so my goals are the ones getting sacrificed. That leaves me a twenty two year old college drop out with very little in the way of skills and a few extra pounds on my hips, so I doubt the phones will be ringing anytime soon.
"I don't even have a car."
"You also didn't deny it."
"Sure, because I'd really take a toddler into a college dorm room." I say, putting the pot of spaghetti into the fridge. "Do you even hear yourself?"
"I know what I said, and I stand by it." He says, throwing the empty beer bottle toward the trash can. It bounces off the side and falls to the floor. "I'm sure you're just dying to meet some young college guy and f*ck his brains out."
"No."
"Don't f*cking lie to me Nikki, because that just pisses me off!"
Tears begin to fall from my eyes. "I'm not lying."
"Oh, are you going to cry now?" He asks sarcastically. "F*cking pathetic that you act like such a baby because I state my opinion."
"You have nothing to base it on." I say, wiping the tears from my eyes. "But what about the times I don't say anything when you come home smelling like beer and perfume."
I don't know if what I said caused him to snap, but I felt the back of Dustin's hand smash into the side of my face as I stumble against the counter. While I'm used to the tounge lashings he gives me, that is the first time he's ever physically done anything. I can feel the area around my eye socket start of swell as I touch it. There's blood on my fingers and my instinct is to cover up and hope he's satisfied enough with his work to pass out somewhere. I'm supposed to go home this weekend and see my parents, but I can't let my dad see the bruise I know I'll have because of his recent heart surgery. Looks like I'll be wearing my hair down. I hear the front door slam and I can't hold back the tears any longer.
"He'll come around if he loves you."
*****
7/10/2015
Championship Connections
Atlanta, Georgia
"Nikki, I'm so glad that you decided to call me regarding your case."
"I'm honestly glad you answered." I say, shaking Lucas's hand as we meet in the conference room. "I swear I must've called twenty lawyers in the Atlanta area."
"I had an overseas vacation planned with my girlfriend, so I'm sorry it took so long to respond."
"That sounds lovely, I bet you had a great time."
"Well I proposed in front of the Eiffel Tower."
"Awww, that's so sweet." I say, gushing at the romantic gesture. "I can't imagine her saying no."
"Well, she did make me wait a moment before saying yes."
"Hey, she's got to make you sweat just a little bit." I say, playfully patting him on the shoulder as I take a seat. "It's a test to see how much you want her."
He smiles, and I can see the genuine happiness all over his face. It was definitely more thought out than my first marriage proposal, which I'll admit was Dustin's answer to me challenging him. Little did he know it was meant to be tounge and cheek, but it's easy to talk about it in hindsight and call it a mistake. He and I were both young, and for me it was my first serious relationship. I fell hard and hitting rock bottom hurt.
"So shall we we go over your case?"
"Absolutely. I hate to rush you because I'd love to hear more about your trip, but I do have to grade Drake's essay on the Constitution."
"Well I'm glad you mentioned the Constitution, because while there is nothing in that document relating to his rights there is plenty of legislation that has been passed in recent years that can be problematic for you."
"So what's the best direction to take?"
"You did the right thing filing the injunction against Judge Rollins." Lucas says, pulling a file from his briefcase. "A lot of clients don't realize you can do that to ensure a fair trial. They automatically assume that court means their rights are waved."
"When it's my son we're talking about, I'll do whatever it takes to keep him safe." I say, looking at the file. "And if she's taking bribes, how can I be so sure Dustin isn't funding her cause."
"Getting her removed from the case is one thing, getting her removed from the bench all together is another."
"I'm not sure I understand."
"It's no secret that Rollins is looking for bigger things."
"Sounds like someone I know."
I know he considers himself a good man, but Trace is still a promoter. And promoters are a lot like politicians in that their support goes to whoever is providing the money. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful to him for keeping me off the injured list again, but I hope Trace understands that I don't need his help especially if he has a motive attached to it. I have enough stuff hanging over my head with this upcoming trial and I'd like to keep my private life seperated from my professional. The two just don't mix.
I always get the uneasy feeling every time I'm around Trace that midnight could strike at any moment for the woman most in the locker room consider a princess. I wonder if anyone really gets what I went through in my time off. I've never considered myself delicate and if I had to give an actual reason, I'd say that's why I chose the matches I did when I return. It's a matter of pride.
"I'm not going to lie, you've got a tough road ahead now that he's got Frank Carmichael working the case."
"Is that right?"
"Yeah, and if I know Frank as well as I think, he's going to use the first case against you."
"How?"
"Your reason for the divorce."
"Why, because I'm competing in professional wrestling?"
"Well, let's think about that for a second Nikki." Lucas says, showing me a picture of Trace holding the barbwire kendo stick. "Do you see how this looks?"
"I know how it looks." I say, sliding the picture back to him. "But just because Trace uses weapons doesn't mean I do."
"Then explain this." He says, this time sliding a picture of me on top of a ladder at End Game. "This isn't so flattering."
"Circumstances dictated that match, and I still won."
"That doesn't help Nikki."
"Well what am I supposed to do, quit?"
"I'm just saying that wrestling is seen as barbaric, with a ladder match being one of the more dangerous among them." Lucas says, folding his hands together. "For you to go from claiming physical and emotional abuse to being involved in this world seems hypocritical. And don't think for a second Frank isn't telling Dustin the same thing."
"What's wrong with fighting? Tell me that, Lucas."
"You're making my job harder."
"Well, I need to know if you're going to help? Because I like who I've become."
"Yes, but you should really consider toning down the violence, at least until this is over."
*****
7/21/2015
WFWF Divine Wind
Osaka, Japan
2 Hours Before Opening Bell
"How you feeling hun?" Penny asks me as we enter the locker room. "You seem kind of distracted."
"Oh, sorry." I say, looking slightly over my shoulder. "What did you ask me?"
"I was just saying you look distracted."
"I'm still feeling a little jet lagged, that's all." I say, lying down on the massage table I've personally requested for our locker room. "I think I'm going to take a nap before the show."
"Ok, if you say so."
I guess you can say I have a lot on my mind, and because of it I've been trying to watch my own back a little more recently. Ascension taught me a very important lesson in my young career, and that's the fact you won't always have your allies around. I asked Josh and Penny to stay in the back that night because they had their own business to worry about. I believed that Michael Kyzer and the ego he has to feed wanted to face me one on one. Maybe I should've listened when people warned me that Kyzer doesn't travel alone very often, even if he ends up kicking them to the curb later on. That was the first time I had ever been jumped, and I consider myself lucky to have never experienced it before that night in Atlanta.
I can feel my eyes getting heavier as I try to get comfortable. "Hey Penny."
"Yeah hun, what's up?"
"Should I be worried about the rest of this tournament?"
"Umm...."
"Come on, tell me."
"I can't say, because your experience with Trace is different than mine."
"How?"
"Why do you think Scarlet and I haven't had a serious conversation in almost two years?"
"You guys were really that close."
"You know how close we are?"
"Yeah."
"Closer, and I mean that as no disrespect to you."
"Ok- I wasn't going to get insulted."
Penny leans her head back onto the locker. "I trained Scarlet."
"You also trained me."
"Josh did more work than me." Penny begins, sighing deeply. "But with Scarlet, I did most of the heavy lifting. I had to keep her accountable and make sure she did all the right things. Anytime she blew off a training session, it was because I was the bad influence."
"You must've done something right, though." I say, turning on my side. "She did win the World Title."
"That's because of her natural abilities." Penny says, stretching out. "She was born and raised around the business, so of course she's going to naturally pick up a few things."
"Then why did Wayne and Vanessa put her with you if she was already ahead?"
"Because Scarlet lacked maturity and polish." Penny shot out. "She didn't have the slightest f*cking clue of how to fend for herself out on the road. Hotels, car rentals, I took care of all that."
"So you were basically a baby sitter?"
"Vanessa liked to refer to me as finishing school, a way to toughen Scarlet up and prepare her for the life."
"I still don't understand how Trace fits into all this."
"Trace is always going to look out for Trace when it's all said and done. I tried to warn the McGurks about that." Penny says, propping her feet up on a chair. "So as long as you guys keep winning, he's fine."
"Then whoever is in his life that can benefit, like his daughter?"
"Pretty much."
"Well we have that in common."
I don't know whether Penny meant to put any added pressure on me, but she did just by being honest. Before my injury, I could just focus on getting in the ring, doing my best and only worrying about myself. Now I have a spotlight on me bigger than I ever could've imagined possible each time out, and the longer Trace and I stay in this tournament, the higher the stakes get. While he did show up and diffuse a hostile situation with Dustin, I still have a very uncomfortable feeling because of the lack of actual conversation we've had. Trace has been known to drop alliances without much explanation, and I worry that he'll do the same if it means saving his own skin.
"Look if it means anything to you, I think you'll be fine because you have something a lot of people don't." Penny says, pointing at her chest. "You have heart and you need to remember that."
"But is heart enough?"
"I've been around this joint for a pretty good while now, and what I know is that you're never out of a match when you've got heart." Penny says, throwing her hood on her head. "But people change to get ahead and stay ahead."
"I need to talk to Trace." I say, sitting up. "I need to know where I stand with him."
"Just be careful hun." Penny says, leaning forward in her chair. "He doesn't think like we do. Don't be surprised if he tells you one thing but is really thinking another."
I nod my head, knowing that Penny is just trying to protect me. I can't help but think there's guilt in her heart, even thought a lot of time has passed since she wrapped a chair around Scarlet's head. Penny has a maternal instinct to protect, but I doubt she'd ever admit it. Her advice is sound, and as I roam these hallways that advice has given me the confidence to ask Trace some very tough questions. Josh has always stressed to me that being assertive may not make you popular, but it will earn you respect. Trace may respect me as a parent, but I need him to respect me as a wrestler.
I reach his office door and I stop for a moment to breathe. It is amazing how we've been successful thus far with very little communication, but Hollywood Unhinged 2.0 gives us a different challenge in an actual team. I've been part of a successful team since I first arrived in WFWF, but it's easier to have success when you actually like the ones you're teaming with. I knock on Trace's door, unsure of what's waiting for me on the other side.
*****
I'm not much for making bold claims or calling people out. But, when I look at Hollywood Unhinged 2.0, I can't help but feel pretty confident going into Divine Wind. And most of what I've been hearing lately is people asking why? Why do I have such a self assurance when my tag team partner is not known for playing nice? How can I like our chances when the team we're facing is probably the only true tag team in WFWF?
If this tournament has shown us anything, it's that sometimes you have to look below the surface to find out who really wants to win, and very few people want to win more than me. It's how I've been able to overcome situations where I was expected to be outclassed and overpowered. That isn't anything new for me, shocking as it seems. I guess when the team that no one expected to make it this far wins the Tag Team Titles in Tokyo, maybe then my doubters will finally see me as more than the pretty faced damsel in distress. Don't lie, you all know you're guilty of it.
Its still ridiculous that people buy into such an unoriginal idea. I mean, I've pretty much had the National Title in my possession since the day I walked through the door of this company, and it's not going anywhere for a long time. And if I have to keep beating men to prove it, then I'll just keep proving I'm better. Jack Sabbath knows this, which is why he's been sitting on his title shot for four months. I even said anytime he wanted a title shot, I'd be more than willing to grant it. But he still hides behind a tag team partnership as fragile as Ante Witner's chin hoping that I slip up along the way. It's pretty easy to make claims against a paper champion, but when the real champion sets everything back to normal, you say nothing because you realize your task just got a whole lot harder.
But in Osaka Jack, I finally get to see if you're worthy of a shot at my belt. And I hope that you get up for this match so that when I stomp your chest in, you'll have no excuses.
Even then, you'll still be better off than Jayson. I mean poor guy should've grabbed at least one piece of singer's gold in the past two years, but yet he hasn't moved past trying to put a successful team together. Because everyone except for you two clowns can see that your "rebranding" experiment is as bad as the original and that you would better off on your own. I understand not wanting to leave a relationship when you become co dependent on each other, but is it worth it at the expense of ruining both of your careers. But unless I'm mistaken you both have backup plans, so I guess it's ok if you keep stinking up the place and watching as people like me keep adding championships to the resume. But please, keep underestimating how good I am. And when you see first hand that I am world class, eventually you'll grow tired of being emasculated.
So forget all the Disney cliches you've seen over the years, because the mold was broken when I came along. Trace and I will run through you, and I'll continue to show why beauty is very painful.
Macon, Georgia
"Go get me another beer!"
"Ok." I say, hanging my head as I walk toward the empty refrigerator. "I made dinner, spaghetti."
"Yeah, well I grabbed a burger on the way home."
"Dustin, you knew I was cooking dinner." I say, handing him the last beer. "You even specifically told me to make spaghetti before you left the house"
"What's your point?"
"I can't eat all of this by myself, and Drake's already been fed."
"Well I changed my mind." He says, propping his oily boots up on the coffee table. "Tough luck."
A tear begins to build in my eye as I turn away from him. I was always taught to be obedient to your husband, but Dustin takes it too far with the way he degrades me. I could blame it on stress, but it's not like he has a stressful job. He tinkers around with his truck when he's not at the garage and does something he loves, never once asking what goals I have or what would make me happy. A better life is what would make me happy, in fact he painted quite the picture perfect marriage at first. That is until he demanded that I quit college to be his maid. I meant to say wife, but maid is much more appropriate because of the way I'm basically a second class citizen to him. Up with the sun to care for Drake while still managing to lay out his work clothes and pack his lunch. I clean our little two bedroom apartment top to bottom and manage the bills. This month like the previous nine, we're scraping by and I had to make the choice of cutting off our water or the internet. But does my day stop there? Nope, then I get dolled up to sit and wait for him for hours at a time only to be met with a comment about my hair or how I spend too much money on makeup when he strolls up.
'What would you need that sh*t for?' is how he normally responds when I'd bring up a subject that wasn't related to cars or his tired military stories. What Dustin doesn't tell people is that I placed many calls to his commanding officer, which pretty much kept him from being court marshaled when he wouldn't show for his engagements. He should be thanking me for his ability to tell the stories to the town drunks down at the bar, but no, rage is what I'm met with every day. It wasn't that way when I met him, but I guess that's what I get for being attracted to a uniform instead of the real person.
"Why the hell is the computer turned off?" He shouts, slamming his beer bottle down on the desk.
"We didn't have the money to pay for it."
"You mean to tell me that I'm out here working my ass off, and you can't even get the bills paid?"
"The money you make isn't stretching as far."
"Or maybe you're too stupid to do some simple math."
"Then why don't you do it and see how much money you have to blow afterwards."
"I can show you my pay stubs." He says with a snarl. "I know you think I don't go to work."
"I know you go to work, and I wish I knew where the money was going." I say, reaching on the counter for his wallet. "I need to see the receipts."
He rushes quickly over to snatch his wallet out of my hand. "Don't you f*cking touch my wallet."
"Dustin this isn't a game, I had to choose between the internet and water."
"That's your problem." He huffs. "It's my money, so it's my business what I do with it."
"If it's on me, I can always go back to work or school."
"And leave Drake with just anyone-f*cking brilliant idea there Einstein."
"He'd stay with your parents."
"That's great, get my mom to watch him so you can go and screw around on me."
I try my best to ignore the demeaning comments, but it's getting harder and harder to smile them off as playful around others. I can't even tell you the moment I actually realized he wasn't joking because it seems so long ago. I've been feeling useless since, and this is mild compared to the verbal onslaughts I've accepted as normal. I never expected to be sitting idle at home for as long as I have, but six weeks turns into six months and eventually a year or two pretty quickly. It's all been a blur of drunken rage mixed in with Drake flying through his developmental phases that I feel like I've missed my baby growing up. I want to go back to college, maybe walk-on to a gymnastics team. A few schools were interested when I was still competing in Juniors, but I never bring it up since Dustin isn't willing to relocate. With my parents in Atlanta his family basically surrounds us and he isn't willing to leave that comfort, so my goals are the ones getting sacrificed. That leaves me a twenty two year old college drop out with very little in the way of skills and a few extra pounds on my hips, so I doubt the phones will be ringing anytime soon.
"I don't even have a car."
"You also didn't deny it."
"Sure, because I'd really take a toddler into a college dorm room." I say, putting the pot of spaghetti into the fridge. "Do you even hear yourself?"
"I know what I said, and I stand by it." He says, throwing the empty beer bottle toward the trash can. It bounces off the side and falls to the floor. "I'm sure you're just dying to meet some young college guy and f*ck his brains out."
"No."
"Don't f*cking lie to me Nikki, because that just pisses me off!"
Tears begin to fall from my eyes. "I'm not lying."
"Oh, are you going to cry now?" He asks sarcastically. "F*cking pathetic that you act like such a baby because I state my opinion."
"You have nothing to base it on." I say, wiping the tears from my eyes. "But what about the times I don't say anything when you come home smelling like beer and perfume."
I don't know if what I said caused him to snap, but I felt the back of Dustin's hand smash into the side of my face as I stumble against the counter. While I'm used to the tounge lashings he gives me, that is the first time he's ever physically done anything. I can feel the area around my eye socket start of swell as I touch it. There's blood on my fingers and my instinct is to cover up and hope he's satisfied enough with his work to pass out somewhere. I'm supposed to go home this weekend and see my parents, but I can't let my dad see the bruise I know I'll have because of his recent heart surgery. Looks like I'll be wearing my hair down. I hear the front door slam and I can't hold back the tears any longer.
"He'll come around if he loves you."
*****
7/10/2015
Championship Connections
Atlanta, Georgia
"Nikki, I'm so glad that you decided to call me regarding your case."
"I'm honestly glad you answered." I say, shaking Lucas's hand as we meet in the conference room. "I swear I must've called twenty lawyers in the Atlanta area."
"I had an overseas vacation planned with my girlfriend, so I'm sorry it took so long to respond."
"That sounds lovely, I bet you had a great time."
"Well I proposed in front of the Eiffel Tower."
"Awww, that's so sweet." I say, gushing at the romantic gesture. "I can't imagine her saying no."
"Well, she did make me wait a moment before saying yes."
"Hey, she's got to make you sweat just a little bit." I say, playfully patting him on the shoulder as I take a seat. "It's a test to see how much you want her."
He smiles, and I can see the genuine happiness all over his face. It was definitely more thought out than my first marriage proposal, which I'll admit was Dustin's answer to me challenging him. Little did he know it was meant to be tounge and cheek, but it's easy to talk about it in hindsight and call it a mistake. He and I were both young, and for me it was my first serious relationship. I fell hard and hitting rock bottom hurt.
"So shall we we go over your case?"
"Absolutely. I hate to rush you because I'd love to hear more about your trip, but I do have to grade Drake's essay on the Constitution."
"Well I'm glad you mentioned the Constitution, because while there is nothing in that document relating to his rights there is plenty of legislation that has been passed in recent years that can be problematic for you."
"So what's the best direction to take?"
"You did the right thing filing the injunction against Judge Rollins." Lucas says, pulling a file from his briefcase. "A lot of clients don't realize you can do that to ensure a fair trial. They automatically assume that court means their rights are waved."
"When it's my son we're talking about, I'll do whatever it takes to keep him safe." I say, looking at the file. "And if she's taking bribes, how can I be so sure Dustin isn't funding her cause."
"Getting her removed from the case is one thing, getting her removed from the bench all together is another."
"I'm not sure I understand."
"It's no secret that Rollins is looking for bigger things."
"Sounds like someone I know."
I know he considers himself a good man, but Trace is still a promoter. And promoters are a lot like politicians in that their support goes to whoever is providing the money. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful to him for keeping me off the injured list again, but I hope Trace understands that I don't need his help especially if he has a motive attached to it. I have enough stuff hanging over my head with this upcoming trial and I'd like to keep my private life seperated from my professional. The two just don't mix.
I always get the uneasy feeling every time I'm around Trace that midnight could strike at any moment for the woman most in the locker room consider a princess. I wonder if anyone really gets what I went through in my time off. I've never considered myself delicate and if I had to give an actual reason, I'd say that's why I chose the matches I did when I return. It's a matter of pride.
"I'm not going to lie, you've got a tough road ahead now that he's got Frank Carmichael working the case."
"Is that right?"
"Yeah, and if I know Frank as well as I think, he's going to use the first case against you."
"How?"
"Your reason for the divorce."
"Why, because I'm competing in professional wrestling?"
"Well, let's think about that for a second Nikki." Lucas says, showing me a picture of Trace holding the barbwire kendo stick. "Do you see how this looks?"
"I know how it looks." I say, sliding the picture back to him. "But just because Trace uses weapons doesn't mean I do."
"Then explain this." He says, this time sliding a picture of me on top of a ladder at End Game. "This isn't so flattering."
"Circumstances dictated that match, and I still won."
"That doesn't help Nikki."
"Well what am I supposed to do, quit?"
"I'm just saying that wrestling is seen as barbaric, with a ladder match being one of the more dangerous among them." Lucas says, folding his hands together. "For you to go from claiming physical and emotional abuse to being involved in this world seems hypocritical. And don't think for a second Frank isn't telling Dustin the same thing."
"What's wrong with fighting? Tell me that, Lucas."
"You're making my job harder."
"Well, I need to know if you're going to help? Because I like who I've become."
"Yes, but you should really consider toning down the violence, at least until this is over."
*****
7/21/2015
WFWF Divine Wind
Osaka, Japan
2 Hours Before Opening Bell
"How you feeling hun?" Penny asks me as we enter the locker room. "You seem kind of distracted."
"Oh, sorry." I say, looking slightly over my shoulder. "What did you ask me?"
"I was just saying you look distracted."
"I'm still feeling a little jet lagged, that's all." I say, lying down on the massage table I've personally requested for our locker room. "I think I'm going to take a nap before the show."
"Ok, if you say so."
I guess you can say I have a lot on my mind, and because of it I've been trying to watch my own back a little more recently. Ascension taught me a very important lesson in my young career, and that's the fact you won't always have your allies around. I asked Josh and Penny to stay in the back that night because they had their own business to worry about. I believed that Michael Kyzer and the ego he has to feed wanted to face me one on one. Maybe I should've listened when people warned me that Kyzer doesn't travel alone very often, even if he ends up kicking them to the curb later on. That was the first time I had ever been jumped, and I consider myself lucky to have never experienced it before that night in Atlanta.
I can feel my eyes getting heavier as I try to get comfortable. "Hey Penny."
"Yeah hun, what's up?"
"Should I be worried about the rest of this tournament?"
"Umm...."
"Come on, tell me."
"I can't say, because your experience with Trace is different than mine."
"How?"
"Why do you think Scarlet and I haven't had a serious conversation in almost two years?"
"You guys were really that close."
"You know how close we are?"
"Yeah."
"Closer, and I mean that as no disrespect to you."
"Ok- I wasn't going to get insulted."
Penny leans her head back onto the locker. "I trained Scarlet."
"You also trained me."
"Josh did more work than me." Penny begins, sighing deeply. "But with Scarlet, I did most of the heavy lifting. I had to keep her accountable and make sure she did all the right things. Anytime she blew off a training session, it was because I was the bad influence."
"You must've done something right, though." I say, turning on my side. "She did win the World Title."
"That's because of her natural abilities." Penny says, stretching out. "She was born and raised around the business, so of course she's going to naturally pick up a few things."
"Then why did Wayne and Vanessa put her with you if she was already ahead?"
"Because Scarlet lacked maturity and polish." Penny shot out. "She didn't have the slightest f*cking clue of how to fend for herself out on the road. Hotels, car rentals, I took care of all that."
"So you were basically a baby sitter?"
"Vanessa liked to refer to me as finishing school, a way to toughen Scarlet up and prepare her for the life."
"I still don't understand how Trace fits into all this."
"Trace is always going to look out for Trace when it's all said and done. I tried to warn the McGurks about that." Penny says, propping her feet up on a chair. "So as long as you guys keep winning, he's fine."
"Then whoever is in his life that can benefit, like his daughter?"
"Pretty much."
"Well we have that in common."
I don't know whether Penny meant to put any added pressure on me, but she did just by being honest. Before my injury, I could just focus on getting in the ring, doing my best and only worrying about myself. Now I have a spotlight on me bigger than I ever could've imagined possible each time out, and the longer Trace and I stay in this tournament, the higher the stakes get. While he did show up and diffuse a hostile situation with Dustin, I still have a very uncomfortable feeling because of the lack of actual conversation we've had. Trace has been known to drop alliances without much explanation, and I worry that he'll do the same if it means saving his own skin.
"Look if it means anything to you, I think you'll be fine because you have something a lot of people don't." Penny says, pointing at her chest. "You have heart and you need to remember that."
"But is heart enough?"
"I've been around this joint for a pretty good while now, and what I know is that you're never out of a match when you've got heart." Penny says, throwing her hood on her head. "But people change to get ahead and stay ahead."
"I need to talk to Trace." I say, sitting up. "I need to know where I stand with him."
"Just be careful hun." Penny says, leaning forward in her chair. "He doesn't think like we do. Don't be surprised if he tells you one thing but is really thinking another."
I nod my head, knowing that Penny is just trying to protect me. I can't help but think there's guilt in her heart, even thought a lot of time has passed since she wrapped a chair around Scarlet's head. Penny has a maternal instinct to protect, but I doubt she'd ever admit it. Her advice is sound, and as I roam these hallways that advice has given me the confidence to ask Trace some very tough questions. Josh has always stressed to me that being assertive may not make you popular, but it will earn you respect. Trace may respect me as a parent, but I need him to respect me as a wrestler.
I reach his office door and I stop for a moment to breathe. It is amazing how we've been successful thus far with very little communication, but Hollywood Unhinged 2.0 gives us a different challenge in an actual team. I've been part of a successful team since I first arrived in WFWF, but it's easier to have success when you actually like the ones you're teaming with. I knock on Trace's door, unsure of what's waiting for me on the other side.
*****
I'm not much for making bold claims or calling people out. But, when I look at Hollywood Unhinged 2.0, I can't help but feel pretty confident going into Divine Wind. And most of what I've been hearing lately is people asking why? Why do I have such a self assurance when my tag team partner is not known for playing nice? How can I like our chances when the team we're facing is probably the only true tag team in WFWF?
If this tournament has shown us anything, it's that sometimes you have to look below the surface to find out who really wants to win, and very few people want to win more than me. It's how I've been able to overcome situations where I was expected to be outclassed and overpowered. That isn't anything new for me, shocking as it seems. I guess when the team that no one expected to make it this far wins the Tag Team Titles in Tokyo, maybe then my doubters will finally see me as more than the pretty faced damsel in distress. Don't lie, you all know you're guilty of it.
Its still ridiculous that people buy into such an unoriginal idea. I mean, I've pretty much had the National Title in my possession since the day I walked through the door of this company, and it's not going anywhere for a long time. And if I have to keep beating men to prove it, then I'll just keep proving I'm better. Jack Sabbath knows this, which is why he's been sitting on his title shot for four months. I even said anytime he wanted a title shot, I'd be more than willing to grant it. But he still hides behind a tag team partnership as fragile as Ante Witner's chin hoping that I slip up along the way. It's pretty easy to make claims against a paper champion, but when the real champion sets everything back to normal, you say nothing because you realize your task just got a whole lot harder.
But in Osaka Jack, I finally get to see if you're worthy of a shot at my belt. And I hope that you get up for this match so that when I stomp your chest in, you'll have no excuses.
Even then, you'll still be better off than Jayson. I mean poor guy should've grabbed at least one piece of singer's gold in the past two years, but yet he hasn't moved past trying to put a successful team together. Because everyone except for you two clowns can see that your "rebranding" experiment is as bad as the original and that you would better off on your own. I understand not wanting to leave a relationship when you become co dependent on each other, but is it worth it at the expense of ruining both of your careers. But unless I'm mistaken you both have backup plans, so I guess it's ok if you keep stinking up the place and watching as people like me keep adding championships to the resume. But please, keep underestimating how good I am. And when you see first hand that I am world class, eventually you'll grow tired of being emasculated.
So forget all the Disney cliches you've seen over the years, because the mold was broken when I came along. Trace and I will run through you, and I'll continue to show why beauty is very painful.
