Divine Wind RP: Ferromagnetism

[Joe Magnet]

Joe's NJ Apartment
July 14th
9:37pm

"Divine Wind."



Joe grabs his laptop and searches up the definition of divine.



"of, from, or like God or a god."



Weird. It says that synonyms include godly, angelic, and saintly.



But there's nothing divine about wind. Wind destroys houses. Wind destroys cars. Tornadoes are wind, and they cause a sh*tstorm, literally. So why would they call a show "Divine Wind?"



Surely they can't think that we'll be "saintly" to each other in the ring, right? I mean let's look at the pieces of the puzzle.



Dr. Manson is a drug-induced, alcoholic butcher. Does that scream 'wrestler' to you? No. I mean c'mon, he talks to

dead pigs! He wears bloodstained overalls and is practically looking at two people at once. I think Grayson hit the nail

on the head when he linked Manson to Quasimodo. Besides being obese, Doc has no favorable attributes inside the ring.



Next is Grayson Cain, who, shall I say, has an UNCANNY resemblance to Shia LeBeouf. He's good at hiding his true

self, but as a result he's ruining his entire life. He's getting old, and his wife's getting old. He's constantly lying

to her and probably doesn't even love her. Though, that's just my blind assessment.



Joey Raid is the final piece. He's a p*ssy. I don't cuss much but it's a little ridiculous. He hates hardcore wrestlers,

he hates deathmatch wrestlers, blah blah blah but you know what? He doesn't hate them; nononono he's afraid of them. He's

afraid of being cut by barbed wire and he-



FUUUUUUUUUU-dge GOD SH*T AWH



He drops his water and as it shatters a piece of glass cuts his foot.



A tear runs down his cheek. He struggles to complete his thought.



and he claims he'll be superior by using a traditional wrestling style. That's remarkably stupid. You gotta change it up once in

a while, you feel? If he thinks he can beat someone while wrestling like Hulk Hogan, then it's "Game Over" for him.



__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________


Joe's NJ Apartment

July 15th

7:53pm



Joe's talking to Siri, looking for a friend.



You know, it's kinda ironic. My last name is Magnet but I've never really felt a real connection to anything.

Sure, there's wrestling, but it's not the same. I've never had a connection with my parents. If I complained

enough, they'd just buy me things. They were never kind-hearted people. Always wanting from me something

that would make them look good. And I guess that's why I ditched college for wrestling. I wanted

to be different from them-



Searching Google for, "Magnet."



OK. I found this:



He begins to read the article.



"A magnet is a material or object that produces a magnetic field. This magnetic field is

invisible but is responsible for the most notable property of a magnet:

a force that pulls on other ferromagnetic materials."



After looking up 'ferromagnetic' Joe has an epiphany.



I'm a Magnet. I have the ability to cause a magnetic fiel-



Searching Google for, "ability 2: claws"



Oh shut up. I don't need my parents. I don't need friends. I've been on

my own for 26 years, and that's something I've got over everyone else.

They have family. They have friends. I can do anything I want and

not worry about the consequences. However, they have boundaries. I can

control their destinies; I'm responsible for them. Whatever I do to them, it'll

pull them away from their loved ones and then, they'll be all alone. And it

will become their weakness which will lead into chaos. And I, will be victorious.



Besides, who doesn't like a new attraction?

[Joe Magnet]

I wrote these two at different times, with two totally different tones. With the first one, I was really trying to get the point across that whatever I do to them inside the ring, can pull them away from the families, essentially separating them from everyone they love.

[Deleted]

First, welcome to the fed! For an intro piece, I got the point of the character, and can see him being a continued player. Two things though, referencing RPs and real wrestlers is generally considered a no-no. The reason being that it's supposed to show stuff like inner monologues and what not, and no outside wrestlers because the WFWF is an outside entity of the WWE, PWG, TNA, CZW, the lot. Outside of that, this was a perfectly fine intro to a new character. You got your character and the match across. Continue on finding your voice, which you've already started doing quite well, and take it from there! Best of luck!

[Joe Magnet]

Jul 15, 2015 19:24:28 GMT -5 @thekingofharts said:

First, welcome to the fed! For an intro piece, I got the point of the character, and can see him being a continued player. Two things though, referencing RPs and real wrestlers is generally considered a no-no. The reason being that it's supposed to show stuff like inner monologues and what not, and no outside wrestlers because the WFWF is an outside entity of the WWE, PWG, TNA, CZW, the lot. Outside of that, this was a perfectly fine intro to a new character. You got your character and the match across. Continue on finding your voice, which you've already started doing quite well, and take it from there! Best of luck!

Crap. I remember someone saying not to mention other companies but it totally slipped my mind when I mentioned Hogan. As for mentioning others' RPs, I can see why that's a no-no, and I'll make sure not to do that in the future. Thank you

[Deleted]

Jul 15, 2015 19:28:46 GMT -5 Joe Magnet said:

Jul 15, 2015 19:24:28 GMT -5 @thekingofharts said:

First, welcome to the fed! For an intro piece, I got the point of the character, and can see him being a continued player. Two things though, referencing RPs and real wrestlers is generally considered a no-no. The reason being that it's supposed to show stuff like inner monologues and what not, and no outside wrestlers because the WFWF is an outside entity of the WWE, PWG, TNA, CZW, the lot. Outside of that, this was a perfectly fine intro to a new character. You got your character and the match across. Continue on finding your voice, which you've already started doing quite well, and take it from there! Best of luck!

Crap. I remember someone saying not to mention other companies but it totally slipped my mind when I mentioned Hogan. As for mentioning others' RPs, I can see why that's a no-no, and I'll make sure not to do that in the future. Thank you

You're welcome man! Hey, you're still learning. Keep it up!

[Drakz]

This was pretty odd but I liked it for that reason. You've managed to avoid the major pitfall that just about everyone ends up in when they first start e-fedding in that you've not created this dark and brooding character. That will help you no end in my eyes as it means you have the freedom to bring something new to the table instead of being yet another rehash of the same old grungey/my parents used to beat me character. You started to edge toward that at the end with the last couple of lines, so if I can give you any advice it's stay away from that boring sh*te.

There's not a lot I can say about this RP as it wasn't that long etc however I did think this was a great line:

"Besides, who doesn't like a new attraction?"

[Joe Magnet]

Jul 16, 2015 14:44:07 GMT -5 Drakz said:

This was pretty odd but I liked it for that reason. You've managed to avoid the major pitfall that just about everyone ends up in when they first start e-fedding in that you've not created this dark and brooding character. That will help you no end in my eyes as it means you have the freedom to bring something new to the table instead of being yet another rehash of the same old grungey/my parents used to beat me character. You started to edge toward that at the end with the last couple of lines, so if I can give you any advice it's stay away from that boring sh*te.

There's not a lot I can say about this RP as it wasn't that long etc however I did think this was a great line:

"Besides, who doesn't like a new attraction?"

As I was writing that line I thought the same thing! Thanks for the advice, too. I didn't know nor have too much to say which is why it was so short, but overtime with more experience my RPs can only get better.

[Rated R]

Yeah I'm all for a character who isn't just retreading the most tired tropes in fedding. Almost everyone does it to start with before they realize it's dull as hell to write such melancholy, repetitive crap so it's good to see you come straight in and do your own thing with this out there, odd, don't give a f*ck character. Go and read some of the top guys pieces and see how everyone who is on top of the card has their own very distinct style and then think about how you can develop your own into something where you can not only have a really unique individual character but you can also nail top level writing.

[Joe Magnet]

Jul 19, 2015 16:29:45 GMT -5 Rated R said:

Yeah I'm all for a character who isn't just retreading the most tired tropes in fedding. Almost everyone does it to start with before they realize it's dull as hell to write such melancholy, repetitive crap so it's good to see you come straight in and do your own thing with this out there, odd, don't give a f*ck character. Go and read some of the top guys pieces and see how everyone who is on top of the card has their own very distinct style and then think about how you can develop your own into something where you can not only have a really unique individual character but you can also nail top level writing.

Thanks for the tips. There's so many good writers on here so I'm excited to read their pieces and learn more.

[Dex]

Didn't really have enough time to post a reply when the piece was fresh, but nonetheless, here are my thoughts on it man. What you've created for your first match isn't bad by any means, as others have said, it's pretty refreshing as an audience member to read a character who is essentially a normal guy. It's an interesting perspective for sure. While this is your first piece and you are still learning the ropes, I think that the writing within the piece wasn't bad, but it is something that I think needs to be improved upon for you to progress up the card here. As Trace said, you should really take a look and read around more to continue to delve in and create something special.