Post by Deleted on Jun 20, 2015 9:33:15 GMT -5
I can't go back to yesterday,
for I was a different person then.
Much dismay is on my mind coming away from New Dawn in the loser's bracket. Sure it's the semi-finals, but it's the "everyone's a winner" mentality. I wanted to earn my keep and move along to get my shot at another pair of winners in the finals. Choke Hold is an opportunity I must not waste. Suddenly things seem more complicated. There are questions about myself that come to mind several times. This is the first time I don't have an answer about them. The failures, the losses, the change of the WFWF scene over these past two years, it shook me to the core. I pause in the middle of my thoughts to take a breath, all is calm. There's my air conditioning in the background. The humming of a computer in the adjacent room. The radio on my bedside table. I peer out the bedroom window, a pair of birds just sitting on a tree branch by their nest. Nothing was vibrant or loud, things just existed.
Jayson in Wonderland
I'm in a lush, green meadow. It's grass, as far as the eye can see. No trees, no bushes, hell, I can't see any flowers. It's seemingly miles of thick green grass under a warm sun. Just green grass and blue sky, two colors. Where am I? I stand up from my seated position. How did I get out here? I think of places I know and there are none that fit this bill. I don't have a clue. Regardless, I decide to get up and do something about this situation. I begin my trek across the rolling green meadow. For every step I take though there's just another one after. I walk and walk to seemingly nowhere, but something catches my eye in the field. The first thing that's not a plant I'd seen here. I stop and stare for a minute. A key, shimmering in the sunlight. I bend down to pick it up and once I stand back up, there's a tree, staring right back at me with a lock in the wood. Alone in the literal middle of nowhere I mutter:
"This can't be f*cking real."
I give the tree lock a shot and sure enough, it opens up. There's a slide on the inside of the tree leading down into the ground. I guess there's no other way, so I enter the tree and slide down the tree slide.
The slide is steeper than I figured, but it's not worth screaming over which I'm sure it was designed to. I don't scream simply because I refuse to let it do what I'm sure its intended design was. Who even did design this? Where the hell is this even? Questions run through my mind about this ludacris situation until I hit the ground with a hard thump at the end of the slide. It's a dirt floor that left dirt on my jeans. I brush it off the best that I can and stand up and face a hall of doors. Just like the meadow and its grass, only just door after door lining each side of the dirt floored hallway. I try the first door, locked. I sit stumped then remember the key. I try it, nothing. I continue moving trying each door as I go. None seem to work. Not only that, but once I pass a door, the wall moves immediately behind me. I don't see the process ever which makes it that much more frustrating, but I guess it means I should keep going.
This process is even worse than in the meadow. Door after door are locked. Yet I continue going. Until I can't. After some 50 doors I stop and sit down. Here I am trapped in this never ending hell. What's going on? Suddenly, the next door swings open. No one walks out. I peer in and I see something that I thought could only exist as a movie set. It was a meadow, just like the one above ground, but with trees, flowers, animals chattering in English, animals talking in English! I take a step forward, but then this sight hits me. This can't be happening. I must not be thinking straight. However much I tried to, there was this urge in me that willed me to go talk to these animals. A burning desire to simply speak to them. And so I did. It was a blue jay sitting on a branch of the closest tree.
"Where the hell am I?"
"Been a while since there's been a human here. Nice to see one. "Here" is Arrowband."
"What?"
"Arrowband. Everywhere you can venture in any direction is Arrowband. It's separate from your domain on earth. This is home to everything you could imagine, and things you didn't even know you could. You see, the thing about this place and humans is that they don't stop by that often, but when they do they never realize the control they have. You should remember that. I'll find someone to lead you around, stay here."
I try to call to him as he flutters away, but it does no good. He flies away and I do as he says for it seems I have no choice. If it gets me out of here quicker, so be it. I glance around this open space. Animals, flowers, trees, bearicorns (eat your heart out McMann), anything you could imagine. If I were to be lost, this is definitely not the worst place to be lost in. This magical place, Arrowhead, is just baffling though. How did I get here? What's even happening here? I can't think about it for too long because the blue jay flies back over.
"Okay, this is Lynn, he'll be your Arrowhead tour guide. All the sights that we show to anyone who stops by will be shown to you."
Lynn is a golden lab who's standing up next to me under the branch the blue jay is sitting on.
"You two go have fun."
The blue jay flies away and so here I am. Stuck in Fantasyland with a talking dog as my tour guide.
"Well, let's get started!"
"So they assigned you, a talking dog, as a tour guide?"
"Just for the humans. Man's best friend and all. People are far and few between though lately. You're the first in a while."
He leads me to a door in the middle of the field. No wall, nothing but this door. Lynn nudges it with his paw opening it and leading us out. Somehow it brought us right back to that dirty hallway.
"Hold on. I started here. How the hell did we get back?"
"It's a rather intricate system really. I don't want to bore you but..."
And so I became the first man, woman, or child to ever become bored by a talking dog. I just assumed it was all connected in some way and moved along. My tuning out brought a change of scenery that I didn't even notice and Lynn didn't even make note of. The dark hallway turned into an equally dark forest full of thick trees, loads of logs, and everything covered in moss.
"...so then, with that newfound technology our King of Hearts, who you'll be meeting in due time, was able to insert it into several different areas of Arrowband, including our visitor's garden -"
"Lynn, who ya got following you?"
"Oh, this is..."
The dog trails off. I look around to see where the other voice came from and can't spot a source.
"What's your name?"
"It's Jayson."
"...Jayson!"
"Ahh, Jayson. Look down to your left for me."
I do so. There, on the mossy log, is a crystal blue caterpillar smoking a pipe. I assume this was the cause of his raspy voice.
"Now you've got it. Jayson, I've got a question for you. Who are you?"
"Well, I wrestle. I was in movies."
"Not your profession. Who are YOU?"
"I don't really know how to answer that."
"Who is Jayson Garrett?" is really a rather complex question made only more difficult by what's been a recent string of bad form. Am I a good teammate? Am I even good by myself? What should my personality be like? Should I care more about some things? Less? This question is far too open ended for my taste.
"It takes thought. Who are you?"
"Well there's just, I don't know. I'm different in several ways. Profession, personal life, it's not like there's many other guys similar to me."
"Everyone's unique, that doesn't make you special. Who. Are. You?"
I get frustrated.
"I just don't know. Lynn, take me some place else."
"Okay Jayson."
We begin to walk away.
"You'll figure it out eventually. Just find me when you do."
Whatever. I don't need a bug to force me into some deep psychoanalysis about myself. I have enough pondering on my own without a bug. There's suddenly a cry out.
"AH! What IS that?!"
"It's a human, Wilson."
"A WHAT?!"
"A person. Don't worry, he's fine."
"If you say so."
Lynn looks back at me.
"That's Wilson the toucan. He's only been here for a little while and has never seen a human before. Don't worry."
I shake that off before continuing along the path that the guide dog leads me. In a moment that I'm not fully paying attention, the forest immediately turns back into the dingy hallway. I don't even bother to ask how that happened this time and silently follow along.
"Well now comes the part I mentioned earlier, tea with the king."
There's an opened door and it led into a great big dining room. A booming voice calls from the head of the table.
"Ah, Lynn! My loyal guide dog, who've you brought with us this fine day?"
"This is Jayson, he's a human!"
"Yes, I'm quite aware. Hello Jayson, have a seat, right on next to me!"
Decked out in red king's attire, he truly was a sight to be seen. If you were to hold up a king of hearts playing card next to the king himself, it'd be a splitting image. The table was stacked upon a larger table with gigantic chairs that extended all the way up to the king's table. I decided against questioning the design choice and made my way up the provided ladder. Fairy-like servants flew around pouring tea and adding sugar, filling pots with honey and replacing bowls of lemon. Here it seemed, it really was great to be king.
"I see Lynn is your guide. A rather fantastic choice I must say. He's been truly stupendous to the humans ever since we, well, I decided to have specific animals assigned to beings."
"You get things other than humans visiting you?"
"Yes, of course! Anything from other animals to species we truly cannot define. We seem to be a rather big deal. So what brings you here? Work? Leisure?"
"I'm not sure, to be quite honest."
"We seem to get a fair deal of humans when they come around to reply in that manner."
"Do you know why?"
"We have our reservations, but nothing set in stone."
"How'd all these animals find their way here?"
"Most were lost. Some wanderers. Slowly but surely they're becoming more based from here rather than elsewhere. It's all about whether they figured out if this is where they're happy. Our purpose here is to help everyone. Whether it's finding themselves, like my pal Cornelius asked you about."
"You knew he was gonna talk to me?"
"Well he talks to everyone, it's why our guides take you through the forest first. It's the basic question of life, who are you as a person. As a man. As a being simply."
It's the question that most really never ask, but only simply think about. It's difficult to answer when confronted with too.
"Well you best get going."
"But I just got here, like two minutes at this table. There hasn't even been tea."
"My boy there never was going to be tea. I just see all our guests. That's my job as king, 365 days out of the year, 7 days per week. I just like the conversation. Besides, being a king takes plenty of time-consuming work. Keep your head screwed on straight."
And in an instant, am back out of the room. I look around, Lynn is at my feet, the dirty hallway is once again where I stand.
"What'd you think of our king?"
"I expected more, to be quite honest."
"He's not that kingly, he's still pretty honest, he's done good."
We go down the corridor once more. After another few yards of walking, a door swings open. Lynn doesn't acknowledge it, he's still talking about the king. I peek in, it's dark. Curiosity gets the best of me and I go in. It's dark for a few moments.
"Hello?"
"Hello."
A voice calls back in my tone from behind me. I turn around and stand face to face with myself.
"Me?"
"Yes. This is you. I'm not alone. Turn around again."
I do so and am shocked once more. Family, friends, others I've known in my life. My parents, grandparents, Virginia, my ex girlfriend, my old roommates, teachers, seemingly everyone that's ever been involved in my life before.
"This is where we stay when you forget about us."
"Us? I don't forget about you, or me. Yeah, I don't forget about me."
"Oh, I'm sure that if they spoke they'd refute that. Besides, I'm not you right now. I make up everything about you that you've forgotten. Think of me as the alternate you. I still have everything about your personality that you refused to change until now. I'm still just as stubborn and hard-headed as you used to be. You know something Jayson? That might have to do with why you've been a failure so recently."
"You're wrong and you know it. These changes I've made to me have been for the best."
"That's not what your win-loss record would entail. That cutting edge. Your "me against the world" mindset. It made you an opportunist. Now what are you? Wait, why am I asking since you obviously can't answer that yourself."
He's wrong. Well, I'm wrong. The former me is wrong.
"I'm still just as good as I've ever been, hell, I've never been better."
"Says who? I mean, other than yourself. Remember when you dragged around a partner's dead weight en route to the titles? THE TITLES! You were a f*cking champion practically by yourself. Now here you are, doubting yourself. This may seem like I'm just messing with you, but I'm not, believe me. The faster you get on a roll, the more I come back into your head. The killer instinct, the party boy mindset with a street fighter's skill. Are you gonna start showing that yet, or am I just gonna have to wait here with these losers you've left by the side of the road?"
I look over at the "losers" he gestures to. It hurt me to see the looks on these people's faces. People I loved, people I cared about. And there this past me stood, a smug smirk on his face. The one I knew all too well. One that the entire world saw too much of. And so I did the only thing I felt I could do. I reared back and punched this me in the eye. He crumpled to the black floor crying out in pain.
"You're a monster. You're everything I hated about my façade that I felt I had to put up for years and years until I could finally get some damn respect. You wanna see my cutting edge? You think I can't do it without "you"? You're dead wrong and I'm gonna f*cking prove it. I'm gonna grab this tag team tournament by the balls and take it over. If you don't believe me then right here, right now, I'll prove it by beating the tar out of you because you sure as hell aren't someone I am anymore."
He rolled over to stare at me. Blood trickled from his already swollen eye.
"I've done my job. Here I was, stuck in these outer reaches of your mind. Now, I'll never be forgotten."
If he wanted that, well he got it. He's my example of the man I can't allow myself to become. He still was in a heap on the ground. I turned around back to face the others I'd forgotten and there stood just three. My mom, my dad, and Virginia. It didn't hit me when I saw them in the group that first time, but it all suddenly came to me. This was merely a dream. Regardless of what I do or say right now, things cannot be mended with Virginia and I'll never see my parents again. I slowly walked over to them, their faces unchanged. Expressionless, a huge contrast from the vibrant smile my mother used to wear. They stood side-by-side. I wrapped them both up in a huge hug.
"I love you both."
I released the hug, somewhat misty-eyed. There they stood, still emotionless. Then there was Virginia. I couldn't physically apologize enough to her. I stared directly into her dark brown eyes and said something I would never be able to say in person.
"I'm so, so sorry."
At that moment, she snapped. The room, their faces, everything melted. And in no time at all I found myself back at home in my bed.
It's do or die now in the tag team tournament. I understand how dire this situation and what drive I'm going to need to need. It's two thrown together teams, that much is for damn sure. Though now there's an argument against myself and Jack that we haven't shown anything yet. I won't argue it, because quite frankly we haven't. We've gone 0 for 2 in our opportunities, but I know as a fact that between the two of us, there's more than enough skill to move us into the semi-finals. Not only that, but we're still on the same page. Looking at our opponents, that's far more than I can say about them. I'm going to be staring in that ring at Choke Hold at five men with only one of them worthy of being in it with me, and fortunately that man is my partner. This is the last chance I'll have in this tournament to move one step closer to my ultimate tag team goal, and it's not going to die without a fight.
Jon Gotch and Axel Thornstowe are a rather curious pairing. We've got a self-proclaimed "Losing Streak King", which is a hell of a nickname. I could have a field day with that. I could talk about how little self-confidence one could have to dub themselves that. I could make some witty jokes about how that'll continue and you'll be eliminated for good after myself and Jack get our hands on you. I really don't have to though because once your in your own head, I know that you're beat. You're getting frustrated. Not advancing, a partner you don't think of highly and obviously feels the same, losses in singles action, in a triple threat, it's getting to you. No one's seen that much of you so you could have all the talent in the world, but once that confidence is stomped out on the ground then so are you. Believe me when I tell you that I know you feel this way because I've gone through it early in my career and seen it myself. Quite honestly, it's borderline tragic to see a kid like you go through that. I learned quick though that once you take pity on the downtrodden, you become one very quick. Do I feel sympathy for you? Not one bit. You'll see that's absolutely the case at Choke Hold.
Axel has been broken before in his life, surely several times in fact. You've been through wars and seen them to the end so I give you credit there where it's due. The only problem with that is this tag team tournament is a war that you can't win. You won't be able to "see it through" because you'll be just another casualty of a war that's greater than you. This is going to be a war that I'll happily enroll in. It's one that I know the stakes of. To say that you and your punk of a partner understand the magnitude of this is something that I don't believe. I had to scratch and claw and earn my keep at the top of the tag team division a first time only to be brought down in one fell swoop. Now here you are, a goddamn "Losing Streak King" and kid off the streets of Cincinnati here to try and tell me, a former champion who's the most hungry out of anyone in this tournament, to move out of their way you can see how understandable it is that I'm pissed off. I'm not just out to win this match and reclaim a spot that I know I deserve but I'm here to prove a point. That point is sometimes there's things that are bigger than some men. Axel this is one of those times for you. Step down and out of my way or else you'll get end up as roadkill on the side of the road that is the WFWF.
Now here we have two men that have a rocky history together. Michael Kyzer and young Ante Whitmer. Ante now thinks he's hard since he's, for all intents and purposes, the young boy of a group of guys that's caused me immense pain throughout the recent stretch of my career. I'm practically giddy to get my hands on this kid to show him that he's still just a young boy and that's all he should aspire to be. Why don't you do me a favor and stay out of the ring, let the pants-wearer of the team do the in-ring talking, and I'll send your team down in order like Dennis Eckersley in his prime. Or, and I'd f*cking love this, you step into the ring and I get to send a message to you, Kyzer, the rest of your freak friends, and the entire tournament, that I'm dead serious in my actions to get to the top of the mountain. Let's be honest here mate, I can count on zero hands the amount of people that truly care about you. DMK? Kyzer? They're both using you. Samael? Zmey? Neither of them care about anyone let alone their glorified parlour maid. You might now think I'm just looking past you and are just dying to rattle off some accomplishments. I'll do that for you. Longest reigning National Champion, 198 days to be exact. A pair of defenses, including one over a well-known bloke, Devilkiller. You've had some ways with Josh and Nikki Dean and just recently last show had one with Nikki and Trace Demon. They're all impressive Ante, I'll give you that. It truly does show that I'd be an idiot if I were to just brush over you, especially when you've got a partner like Kyzer. But I'm not because I can make a statement through you, and make a statement through you I will.
Kyzer, I believe this is the first time we've met. First and foremost, let me make this clear. I truthfully have nothing personally against you. I'm sure I could get worked up and find something to get mad at you over, but that would require far more effort than I want to give and I think you deserve from what I've seen. We seem to have one man at least in common. I've had a brief but intense history with Drakz, everyone already knows your history with him. Not only that, but you're making history with your actions towards him as of late as well. Actually Michael, can I call you that? I'm gonna call you that. Anyway, I'm going to do you a favor. Because I'm such a great guy, I'll make sure you're eliminated from this tournament very quickly so you can focus on thinking of more ways to make his life hell because that’s the type of guy I am. You're known in every damn arena you go in, but me, everywhere I go I'm stopped because no one can get enough of me. You're a legend in your own right, something no one can take away from you, that's a fact. At Choke Hold though I'm going to make you regret you even stepped back into the ring and wish you'd stayed at home as "just a legend". This is a chance for me to step into the ring once again with one of the WFWF's greatest not just today but of all-time except this time that opportunity doesn't slip.
Here's what it boils down to, the fact that this is something that I have to do for myself. It's my time to prove my worth once again to everyone. Michael, Ante, Axel, Gotch, these four men are going to understand that my passion is something that is going to keep my eyes on the prize. I figured out what I am. I know who I am once again. I don't need to turn my back on what I believe in to win. I'm in this war till the end and you can be assured that I'm not going to sign a peace treaty until I'm certainly the winner. By the end of our match, the only men that are going to be in wonderland are Jayson Garrett and Diamond Jack Sabbath.
