Post by Deleted on Apr 24, 2015 1:05:56 GMT -5
We return to the place where we almost always come when talking about the manliest manly man, the forests of MANkato MANnesota. Stan McMann, the manliest manly man of all men, and Huck the Bearded Fourteen Point Buck, Stan McMann’s most noble and manly stead are sitting in the hollowed out tree corpse that Stan McMann calls home. A first glance at Stan McMann’s humble abode would cause any girl to instantly orgasm and not be able to move for a year, because of how manly Stan McMann’s decorative skills are. Hanging on the wall is the taxidermied remains of the now extinct Bearicorn, which Stan McMann the manliest manly man murdered in cold blood.
Huck the Bearded Fourteen Point Buck: STAN MCMANN, THE MANLIEST MAN, I HAST A
ING QUESTION. WHAT IS THAT SMELL THAT LINGERS IN MINE ING NOSTRILS THAT SHALLNT GO AROINT, BITCH.
Stan McMann: Oh, that. I spilled some milk a couple weeks ago. No big deal.
Huck the Bearded Fourteen Point Buck: ‘TIS QUITE STALE IN HITHER.
Stan McMann wipes the manly sweat from his brow, because manly men sweat when they aren’t doing anything or else they will explode from being too filled with testosterone. He realizes that Huck the Bearded Fourteen Point Buck is right, the air has quite the stale stench to it and it was becoming clear that something needed to happen. Something new. Something exciting. Something different.
Stan McMann: I know what must be done.
Huck the Bearded Fourteen Point Buck: WHAT THE IS THAT? I TRUSTETH THY JUDGEMENT BEYOND THAT OF ANY OTHER MANETH. GOETH ON STAN MCMANN AND SPEAK OF THE DEED.
Stan McMann: We need to do manly things.
And thus began the manliest MANtage that the world would ever see. Pulling a might axe from his manly tool belt attached to his manly waist, Stan McMann strikes his own home down with a thunderous heave, sending the already dead tree to the ground. He then blindly throws his axe behind his back with blinding speed, MURDERING A DEER THAT IS A MILLION PERCENT LESS MANLY THAN HUCK THE BEARDED FOURTEEN POINT BUCK AND WHO WAS VERY LIKELY RELATED TO BAMBI FROM THAT STUPID MOVIE. IT, IT WAS BAMBI. The axe decapitated Bambi, sending his head flying straight a hundred miles to the nearest taxidermist, who was completely familiar with random animal corpses showing up at his door, as it happened on a daily basis with Stan McMann, the manliest manly man lurking in the vicinity of forest he did business in. Back to Stan McMann, you know, the important s**t, not some stupid taxidermist.
Seeing the fresh headless deer carcass 300 yards in front of him, the distance he threw his axe to decapitate his stupid idiot victim, and quickly approaches it. Pulling a hunting knife from his trusty tool belt, he skins the deer on the spot, leaving a skinless bloody headless hunk of deer on the ground. Ripping his manly flannel shirt off, Stan McMann puts a whole in the bloody deer hide, fashioning an even manlier shirt for himself made out of freshly killed bitch deer. With his new shirt, Stan McMann then processes the deer quickly and expertly, in a way that only the manliest of manly men could ever do. He places the newly wrapped delectable manly treats using ALL PARTS OF THE DEER BECAUSE WASTING DEAD ANIMAL IS FOR WOMEN AND UNMANLY MEN in a conveniently placed freezer in the middle of the woods.
Is this bloated enough yet? NO!
Pulling his axe out of a nearby try, Stan McMann pulls his other axe, because no man is a true manly man without at least two axes (Stan McMann carries six), from his manly tool belt. He puts one of the axes down and then pulls a bottle of whiskey from his tool belt, drinks one gulp from the handle equating to half the bottle for Stan McMann, and then smashes the bottle over his head. Why? BECAUSE YOU THAT’S WHY. Stan McMann picks up the axe he just put down, and with two axes in hand, begins SPINNING LIKE A MOTHERER. EACH MOTHERER SPIN CAUSES AT LEAST FOUR TREES TO COMPLETELY UPROOT AND FLY INTO THE AIR, COMPLETELY EXPLODING. After spinning, a now grassy area is formed. Pulling an excavator from his trusty tool belt-
Huck the Bearded Fourteen Point Buck: HOLY crap WAIT. HOW MUCHING crap DOEST THY TOOL BELT CARRY, STAN MCMANN.
Stan McMann: Don’t worry about it.
Huck the Bearded Fourteen Point Buck: THAT IS THE MOST MANLY PIECE OFING EQUIPMENT I DOST EVER LAYETH MINE EYES UPON.
Pulling an excavator from his trusty tool belt, Stan McMann gets in and begins digging a hole. Taking a few minutes, I don’t know like twenty minutes or something, a hole about a mile in circumference and half a mile deep is dug. Wiping his brow, Stan McMann looks up to the sky.
Stan McMann: Hey, rain gods! Make it rain now.
Rain Gods: No can do: the sun is in the way.
Stan McMann: Yo sun, what the. Get out of the way.
Sun: you I’m the sun I do what I want.
So Stan McMann murdered the Sun’s family. Because nothing is manlier than murdering the family of something that actually doesn’t have a family. Except having two n’s in your last name. After murdering the Sun’s family, Stan McMann, JUMPED INTO SPACE AND PUNCH THE BITCH SUN RIGHT IN ITS BRIGHT STUPID HOT FACE. The sun started cry tears of water, which didn’t put out the sun and murder the world’s population.
Sun: I-I’m s-s-sorry Stan McMann. I sh-should’ve never questioned you and just moved out of the way. You are so manly,
Stan McMann: Alright rain gods, make it rain now so I can go fishing in this hole I dug.
Rain Gods: You gonna move that excavator?
Stan McMann: Nope.
Rain Gods: Kay.
And then a rain cloud appeared only above where the pit was, and in three minutes the whole was filled. Those rain gods are efficient when their lives are threatened by the manliest manly man Stan McMann. As water filled the hole, worms in the dirt instantly evolved into fish. Pulling his fishing pole from his trusty tool belt, Stan McMann attached some venison he brought with him from murdering Bambi to the hook and cast his line. The moment the hook hit the water, the line tugged. Pulling with the force of at least 47 regular men, Stan McMann revealed that he had hooked not just any regular fish, but a MUTANT TALKING TRIPLE HEADED GANGSTER FISH.
Mutant Talking Triple Headed Gangster Fish: Fight me, bitch.
Stan McMann scoffs and punches the Mutant Talking Triple Headed Gangster Fish, INSTANTLY TURNING IT INTO A DELICIOUS COOKED SALMON DINNER WITH MASHED POTATOES AND NO VEGETABLES BECAUSE VEGETABLES ARE FOR WOMEN AND NON MANLY MEN.
Stupid Idiot: What is life?
Life is this.
And as you see, some stupid idiot has interrupted our incredible MANtage. His voice sounds like the lead singer of Rage Against The Machine.
Stan McMann: Huck, you know this guy?
Huck the Bearded Fourteen Point Buck: THIS MOTHERER IS NONE OTHER THAN YU-GI-OH BLAZE. HE TALKS LIKETH A ING POMPOUS FOOL AND NOBODY EVER UNDERSTANDS THE GARBAGE THAT SPEWS FROM HIS MOUTH.
Yu-Gi-Oh Blaze: Evil is good.
Good is evil.
Evil does duel.
Dueling is good.
Stan McMann: What?
Yu-Gi-Oh Blaze hands Stan McMann a deck of cards as a magical arena forms around the two men. It’s a duel! Yu-Gi-Blaze draws five cards, and seeing him do this and not having any idea what is going on, Stan McMann does the same. Card games are for nerds and unmanly men, but Stan McMann wanted to see what thising idiot wanted.
Yu-Gi-Oh Blaze: Jon Crotch smells good.
Smell Crotch good Jon.
Bippity Boopity
Go Jon Crotch.
13 Year Old Boy Who Is Here Again For Some Reason: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA JON CROTCH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Jon Crotch appears in the arena, and does a handstand for absolutely no reason other than to show off. He then smashes his head off the ground and starts crying.
Jon Crotch: OWEY OWEY OWZERS OWIE KABOODLES I HURT MYSELF I’M CRYING SO HARD. MY FACE HURTS REAL BAD, WHY WOULD I DO THIS TO MYSELF. WHAT KIND OF STUPID PERSON HURTS THEMSELVES DOING HAND STAND PUSHUPS? WHAT KIND OF IDIOT DOES HANDSTAND PUSHUPS AT ALL IF THERE IS ANY RISK OF HURTING MYSELF LIKE A BIG STUPID IDIOT? ONLY MANLY MEN LIKE STAN MCMANN SHOULD DO HANDSTAND PUSHUPS AND I AM NOT EVEN CLOSE TO BEING ONE PERCENT AS MANLY AS STAN MCMANN. OWEY OWEY OWEY WAHHHHHH WAHHHHHHHHH WAHHHHHHH WAHHHHHHHHH WAHHHHHHH.
Holy s*** this actually is more annoying than the font I use. The Jon Crotch explodes into a bunch of pixels, shutting him up for good.
Yu-Gi-Oh Blaze: Everything happens.
For a reason.
Reasons to live.
Living to die.
Dying to eat.
Turkey.
Sandwich.
Yu-Gi-Blaze starts snapping to what he just said to himself for some reason. Not sure if what happened was good or bad, Stan McMann the manliest manly man looks down at his five cards. Being a manly man and not a gigantic nerd, Stan McMann doesn’t know what any of his cards do or how to play this really stupid game. That was when Huck the Bearded Fourteen Point Buck STARTS BREATHING FIRE AND DESTROYS THE ENTIRE DECK OF CARDS IN A BURST OF FLAMES. AND IT WASN’T A BLAZE BECAUSE THINGS INVOLVING THE WORDS BLAZE ARE UNMANLY AND STUPID. THIS WAS MORE OF AN INFERNO THAN ANYTHING.
Stan McMann: Why?
Huck the Bearded Fourteen Point Buck pulls a card out of HIS trusty deer tool belt and pulls out a single card, giving it to Stan McMann.
Huck the Bearded Fourteen Point Buck: I HAST PREPARED FOR THIS VERY MOMENT, BITCH. THIS IS ALL THOU NEEDETH TO BEATETH THISING POMPOUS FOOL.
Stan McMann places the card down.
Stan McMann instantly teleports to the battle field, as his turn ends.
Yu-Gi-Oh Blaze: Dark Magician.
Magic Arts of Blackness.
Blackness of the night.
Night of the daylight.
Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop
PLEASE BEAT ME I BEG YOU.
The Dark Magician, Yu-Gi-Oh Blaze’s best card, is summoned. The magician points its staff at Stan McMann, not realizing that his death is all but imminent. He lets out a charge of black magic, or something like that, which simply bounces off Stan McMann. Black magic is for women and non-manly men like Jon Crotch and Yu-Gi-Oh Blaze. Stan McMann then UPPERCUTS THE S**T OUT OF THE DARK MAGICIAN, KNOCKING HIS HEAD CLEAR OFF AND MAKING THE ENTIRE ARENA EXPLODE.
In the dust, Yu-gi-oh Blaze lays flat on his back. Stan McMann and Huck the Bearded Fourteen Point Buck approach, looking for revenge for the man…erm…..person who interrupted such a glorious thing as a MANtage.
Yu-Gi-Oh Blaze: I pooped my pants.
I peed my pants.
My pants are destroyed.
Pants are for the peasants.
Peasants, sheep, and fools.
Meow meow goes the kitty
I am a fool.
A fool with no testicles.
Boomshakalaka.
Hail Satan.
Stan McMann, with the skill and provision of a doctor, except much manlier, doesn’t murder Yu-Gi-Oh Blaze, but simply removes his voice box so that he can’t continue his stupid babblings that don’t make sense. Yu-Gi-Oh Blaze cries unmanly tears, as confused masses everywhere celebrate, a complete idiot finally silenced. Despite his MANtage being interrupted, Stan McMann, the manliest manly man, has done some good today.
And if you thought that Stanley McMannus stuff was real, lulz.
OR WAS IT?!?!?!??!?!!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!
Huck the Bearded Fourteen Point Buck: STAN MCMANN, THE MANLIEST MAN, I HAST A
ING QUESTION. WHAT IS THAT SMELL THAT LINGERS IN MINE ING NOSTRILS THAT SHALLNT GO AROINT, BITCH.Stan McMann: Oh, that. I spilled some milk a couple weeks ago. No big deal.
Huck the Bearded Fourteen Point Buck: ‘TIS QUITE STALE IN HITHER.
Stan McMann wipes the manly sweat from his brow, because manly men sweat when they aren’t doing anything or else they will explode from being too filled with testosterone. He realizes that Huck the Bearded Fourteen Point Buck is right, the air has quite the stale stench to it and it was becoming clear that something needed to happen. Something new. Something exciting. Something different.
Stan McMann: I know what must be done.
Huck the Bearded Fourteen Point Buck: WHAT THE
IS THAT? I TRUSTETH THY JUDGEMENT BEYOND THAT OF ANY OTHER MANETH. GOETH ON STAN MCMANN AND SPEAK OF THE DEED.Stan McMann: We need to do manly things.
And thus began the manliest MANtage that the world would ever see. Pulling a might axe from his manly tool belt attached to his manly waist, Stan McMann strikes his own home down with a thunderous heave, sending the already dead tree to the ground. He then blindly throws his axe behind his back with blinding speed, MURDERING A DEER THAT IS A MILLION PERCENT LESS MANLY THAN HUCK THE BEARDED FOURTEEN POINT BUCK AND WHO WAS VERY LIKELY RELATED TO BAMBI FROM THAT STUPID MOVIE.
IT, IT WAS BAMBI. The axe decapitated Bambi, sending his head flying straight a hundred miles to the nearest taxidermist, who was completely familiar with random animal corpses showing up at his door, as it happened on a daily basis with Stan McMann, the manliest manly man lurking in the vicinity of forest he did business in. Back to Stan McMann, you know, the important s**t, not some stupid taxidermist.Seeing the fresh headless deer carcass 300 yards in front of him, the distance he threw his axe to decapitate his stupid idiot victim, and quickly approaches it. Pulling a hunting knife from his trusty tool belt, he skins the deer on the spot, leaving a skinless bloody headless hunk of deer on the ground. Ripping his manly flannel shirt off, Stan McMann puts a whole in the bloody deer hide, fashioning an even manlier shirt for himself made out of freshly killed bitch deer. With his new shirt, Stan McMann then processes the deer quickly and expertly, in a way that only the manliest of manly men could ever do. He places the newly wrapped delectable manly treats using ALL PARTS OF THE DEER BECAUSE WASTING DEAD ANIMAL IS FOR WOMEN AND UNMANLY MEN in a conveniently placed freezer in the middle of the woods.
Is this bloated enough yet?
NO!Pulling his axe out of a nearby try, Stan McMann pulls his other axe, because no man is a true manly man without at least two axes (Stan McMann carries six), from his manly tool belt. He puts one of the axes down and then pulls a bottle of whiskey from his tool belt, drinks one gulp from the handle equating to half the bottle for Stan McMann, and then smashes the bottle over his head. Why? BECAUSE
YOU THAT’S WHY. Stan McMann picks up the axe he just put down, and with two axes in hand, begins SPINNING LIKE A MOTHERER. EACH MOTHERER SPIN CAUSES AT LEAST FOUR TREES TO COMPLETELY UPROOT AND FLY INTO THE AIR, COMPLETELY EXPLODING. After spinning, a now grassy area is formed. Pulling an excavator from his trusty tool belt-Huck the Bearded Fourteen Point Buck: HOLY crap WAIT. HOW MUCH
ING crap DOEST THY TOOL BELT CARRY, STAN MCMANN. Stan McMann: Don’t worry about it.
Huck the Bearded Fourteen Point Buck: THAT IS THE MOST MANLY PIECE OF
ING EQUIPMENT I DOST EVER LAYETH MINE EYES UPON.Pulling an excavator from his trusty tool belt, Stan McMann gets in and begins digging a hole. Taking a few minutes, I don’t know like twenty minutes or something, a hole about a mile in circumference and half a mile deep is dug. Wiping his brow, Stan McMann looks up to the sky.
Stan McMann: Hey, rain gods! Make it rain now.
Rain Gods: No can do: the sun is in the way.
Stan McMann: Yo sun, what the
. Get out of the way.Sun:
you I’m the sun I do what I want.So Stan McMann murdered the Sun’s family. Because nothing is manlier than murdering the family of something that actually doesn’t have a family. Except having two n’s in your last name. After murdering the Sun’s family, Stan McMann, JUMPED INTO SPACE AND PUNCH THE BITCH SUN RIGHT IN ITS BRIGHT STUPID HOT FACE. The sun started cry tears of water, which didn’t put out the sun and murder the world’s population.
Sun: I-I’m s-s-sorry Stan McMann. I sh-should’ve never questioned you and just moved out of the way. You are so manly,
Stan McMann: Alright rain gods, make it rain now so I can go fishing in this hole I dug.
Rain Gods: You gonna move that excavator?
Stan McMann: Nope.
Rain Gods: Kay.
And then a rain cloud appeared only above where the pit was, and in three minutes the whole was filled. Those rain gods are efficient when their lives are threatened by the manliest manly man Stan McMann. As water filled the hole, worms in the dirt instantly evolved into fish. Pulling his fishing pole from his trusty tool belt, Stan McMann attached some venison he brought with him from murdering Bambi to the hook and cast his line. The moment the hook hit the water, the line tugged. Pulling with the force of at least 47 regular men, Stan McMann revealed that he had hooked not just any regular fish, but a MUTANT TALKING TRIPLE HEADED GANGSTER FISH.
Mutant Talking Triple Headed Gangster Fish: Fight me, bitch.
Stan McMann scoffs and punches the Mutant Talking Triple Headed Gangster Fish, INSTANTLY TURNING IT INTO A DELICIOUS COOKED SALMON DINNER WITH MASHED POTATOES AND NO VEGETABLES BECAUSE VEGETABLES ARE FOR WOMEN AND NON MANLY MEN.
Stupid Idiot: What is life?
Life is this.
And as you see, some stupid idiot has interrupted our incredible MANtage. His voice sounds like the lead singer of Rage Against The Machine.
Stan McMann: Huck, you know this guy?
Huck the Bearded Fourteen Point Buck: THIS MOTHER
ER IS NONE OTHER THAN YU-GI-OH BLAZE. HE TALKS LIKETH A ING POMPOUS FOOL AND NOBODY EVER UNDERSTANDS THE GARBAGE THAT SPEWS FROM HIS MOUTH.Yu-Gi-Oh Blaze: Evil is good.
Good is evil.
Evil does duel.
Dueling is good.
Stan McMann: What?
Yu-Gi-Oh Blaze hands Stan McMann a deck of cards as a magical arena forms around the two men. It’s a duel! Yu-Gi-Blaze draws five cards, and seeing him do this and not having any idea what is going on, Stan McMann does the same. Card games are for nerds and unmanly men, but Stan McMann wanted to see what this
ing idiot wanted. Yu-Gi-Oh Blaze: Jon Crotch smells good.
Smell Crotch good Jon.
Bippity Boopity
Go Jon Crotch.
13 Year Old Boy Who Is Here Again For Some Reason: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA JON CROTCH HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Jon Crotch appears in the arena, and does a handstand for absolutely no reason other than to show off. He then smashes his head off the ground and starts crying.
Jon Crotch: OWEY OWEY OWZERS OWIE KABOODLES I HURT MYSELF I’M CRYING SO HARD. MY FACE HURTS REAL BAD, WHY WOULD I DO THIS TO MYSELF. WHAT KIND OF STUPID PERSON HURTS THEMSELVES DOING HAND STAND PUSHUPS? WHAT KIND OF IDIOT DOES HANDSTAND PUSHUPS AT ALL IF THERE IS ANY RISK OF HURTING MYSELF LIKE A BIG STUPID IDIOT? ONLY MANLY MEN LIKE STAN MCMANN SHOULD DO HANDSTAND PUSHUPS AND I AM NOT EVEN CLOSE TO BEING ONE PERCENT AS MANLY AS STAN MCMANN. OWEY OWEY OWEY WAHHHHHH WAHHHHHHHHH WAHHHHHHH WAHHHHHHHHH WAHHHHHHH.
Holy s*** this actually is more annoying than the font I use. The Jon Crotch explodes into a bunch of pixels, shutting him up for good.
Yu-Gi-Oh Blaze: Everything happens.
For a reason.
Reasons to live.
Living to die.
Dying to eat.
Turkey.
Sandwich.
Yu-Gi-Blaze starts snapping to what he just said to himself for some reason. Not sure if what happened was good or bad, Stan McMann the manliest manly man looks down at his five cards. Being a manly man and not a gigantic nerd, Stan McMann doesn’t know what any of his cards do or how to play this really stupid game. That was when Huck the Bearded Fourteen Point Buck STARTS BREATHING FIRE AND DESTROYS THE ENTIRE DECK OF CARDS IN A BURST OF FLAMES. AND IT WASN’T A BLAZE BECAUSE THINGS INVOLVING THE WORDS BLAZE ARE UNMANLY AND STUPID. THIS WAS MORE OF AN INFERNO THAN ANYTHING.
Stan McMann: Why?
Huck the Bearded Fourteen Point Buck pulls a card out of HIS trusty deer tool belt and pulls out a single card, giving it to Stan McMann.
Huck the Bearded Fourteen Point Buck: I HAST PREPARED FOR THIS VERY MOMENT, BITCH. THIS IS ALL THOU NEEDETH TO BEATETH THIS
ING POMPOUS FOOL.Stan McMann places the card down.
Stan McMann instantly teleports to the battle field, as his turn ends.
Yu-Gi-Oh Blaze: Dark Magician.
Magic Arts of Blackness.
Blackness of the night.
Night of the daylight.
Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop
PLEASE BEAT ME I BEG YOU.
The Dark Magician, Yu-Gi-Oh Blaze’s best card, is summoned. The magician points its staff at Stan McMann, not realizing that his death is all but imminent. He lets out a charge of black magic, or something like that, which simply bounces off Stan McMann. Black magic is for women and non-manly men like Jon Crotch and Yu-Gi-Oh Blaze. Stan McMann then UPPERCUTS THE S**T OUT OF THE DARK MAGICIAN, KNOCKING HIS HEAD CLEAR OFF AND MAKING THE ENTIRE ARENA EXPLODE.
In the dust, Yu-gi-oh Blaze lays flat on his back. Stan McMann and Huck the Bearded Fourteen Point Buck approach, looking for revenge for the man…erm…..person who interrupted such a glorious thing as a MANtage.
Yu-Gi-Oh Blaze: I pooped my pants.
I peed my pants.
My pants are destroyed.
Pants are for the peasants.
Peasants, sheep, and fools.
Meow meow goes the kitty
I am a fool.
A fool with no testicles.
Boomshakalaka.
Hail Satan.
Stan McMann, with the skill and provision of a doctor, except much manlier, doesn’t murder Yu-Gi-Oh Blaze, but simply removes his voice box so that he can’t continue his stupid babblings that don’t make sense. Yu-Gi-Oh Blaze cries unmanly tears, as confused masses everywhere celebrate, a complete idiot finally silenced. Despite his MANtage being interrupted, Stan McMann, the manliest manly man, has done some good today.
And if you thought that Stanley McMannus stuff was real, lulz.
OR WAS IT?!?!?!??!?!!??!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!
I dont know good luck 
