Post by DJS on Feb 7, 2015 20:55:50 GMT -5
You idiot!
Why did you come here? Are you nuts? Do you have any idea what you've done, now? There's a Monster at the end of this promo!
See, we'd all have been safe but noo...you had to be like "oh, it's fine. I'll brave it! He's probably lying!" Hell, I've warned you he's coming since the day I arrived. I told you. I told you from the start I'm one of the most honest men you'll ever meet. I told you last week to just run, and yet you're still here!
Well now you're stuck here, aren't you? Because now, even if you leave, you leave me in here to fight it all by myself and I've heard big rumours about this thing, and if I don't make it out alive, if it consumes me, he's just gonna break out and follow you and create hell for everyone, really rather nasty business. So I guess you're part of this now.
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I'm kind of conflicted on family get-togethers and birthdays. I mean they're nice, there's lots of cake and for one night every once in a while I don't have to sit and watch my figure. On the other hand, I do find I have to suddenly become very creative. Oh yeah. Coming up with excuses as to why I can't have Jack with me is very tiring. Also, I'm pretty sure it's become a running joke in the family now. "Oh, what's Amy's big lie this year?" Pfft. It's not exactly my fault, though. I mean if Jack wasn't so damn antisocial with his big, British "ooh, I can't talk to people, I wish they'd just leave me alone" stuff, I wouldn't have to come up with things.
I don't think Annie really minds though. Last time he was here, there was the thing with the cat and I'm not sure she's forgiven him just yet. At least I've shown my face, though. Didn't really want to, sure there's a better thing I could do tonight. A nice book, maybe? That's my sister Annie, by the way. Big birthday girl. Both literally and methaphorically. Goodness, less cake for her this year. Wow, I'm starting to sound like him. I don't know if that's good or bad.
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Okay, if you're gonna stay then that's fine. Stick around, we'll formulate a plan. In fact, I've just the thing. See I always had this idea, as a kid, I was convinced there was a monster under my bed. I said "Dad, mate, there's a monster under there, he's gonna eat me and all that" and he said "Jack, mate, shut up. I'm busy. Go bother that silly girl across the street." But even after I went across the street to that girl's house, the Monster followed me and pulled that girls hair, made her cry, and I was never allowed to go back. But why? Why was I never allowed to go back?! It was him! It was the monster, not me! And then every time, he'd come home with me and slip underneath the bed again until the next time.
So eventually it all had to stop.
I had a mentor when I was training to become a wrestler. His name was Skip Sanders, and he told me to embrace fear. Scared little kid rattling around in my head had his plan and now he could use it. And Skip Sanders taught me how to do that. I remember he had this plaque on his wall, it was his family crest and under it in gold-ish writing it said "In extremis-fortitudine", so I told him. I told him about the Monster. By this point he wasn't under my bed any more, but he was always around. And he said I'd find him again one day and have to confront him. He said "in Extremis, you'll defeat all your monsters."
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I exchange smiles and hellos with everyone. I'm being nice to people who only sort of know what I do, but not quite. It's like they've either seen my photoshoots and look down on me or they know I'm on TV but it's "that silly wrestling show" in their head. And everyone's just so...normal. It's hard to mingle. Everyone's talking about their quaterlies or their big promotions at work acting as if it's all they ever wanted. Me on the other hand, I have to deal with Diamond Jack Sabbath on a daily basis. I've been kidnapped in the past, been tortured and had my entire career and life threatened by, well, lunatics. How could I even possibly begin to articulate that? It's the weird business we live in.
I bet Skip Sanders never had this problem. He was friends strictly with people in the business, mostly people just as snivelling and horrible as he was. They're beckoning us into dinner now. It's all very up-market as usual for Annie. I never get this treatment, though. To be fair, if I had this many people crowding around me, I'd have a meltdown. Best not sit next to Connor this time. He'll do that thing, and I'll have to explain that we're cousins and that's not a way to act towards me. Also that I'm married.
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Y'see Extremis, it's latin. It means the farthest reaches. And that's what I did. That's where I spent years running towards. And Skip was right. I battled monsters and slayed them on my way to immortality. Don't see Skip much these days. Long story, I'll explain later.
And that was my plan. I'd look forward and see Extremis, and my Monster stood right next to the door. But that's fine. The more people I snap the necks of, the more wrestlers and monsters and athletes I absolutely destroy the more ready I'd be to face the Monster.
Some even had names. A monster known as Trace Demon even surfaced, and he took a lot away from me. It's a long story, but I slayed him. One day, he slipped up and I did it. I found the key. And if I could slay him, I could slay anyone! I became that guy.
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"And of course, customer service, I feel it's all about the customer and that's why I've been employee of the month for six months straight! The boss loves me!"
I literally have no idea what's being said by these people. This has been going on for at least twenty minutes, everyone's had a turn, no one wants to talk about anything but work and personal bragging and I'm just waiting for the Goddamn cake to be cut. Mom's lapping it up, though. I shoot her a look and she smiles back, which is nice. Mom's always been very understanding of my relationship with Jack. She lived with a very difficult man, too. Dad could be a real moody guy sometimes. But Mom soldiered on. She turns to me and perks up. "So Amy, we hear you've been doing some excellent stuff recently in that fighting thing." Everyone turns to look at me, expectedly. Dammit. What do I talk about this year? What do I say that people will understand? "Erm...well, Jack became a General Manager. I'm his assistant." All good so far, Amy. Keep it going..."and also we own a ranch now?" A RANCH AMY?!?!
They're...they're not murmuring this year. I think I said something that genuinely interests them. Mom's smiling. "Oh, how wonderful," she starts. "We never thought the wrestling stuff was you."
StopyourselfAmystopyours--"Oh, Jack wrestles at WFWF now. We beat Dex last week. He's a bit of a lunatic." Dammit. I can literally feel the deflation of the room. Mom still stays smiling though. Connor (sat way down the table this year, thank you very much) turns. "Hey I watched that stuff when I was a kid. And how is Joe by the way? We never see him anywhere but on the screen." Joe? Dick. Next time I'll bring Jack and he'll wipe the floor with you. "Oh, Jack's good. Same as ever." A smile graces Connor's face. Don't you dare...
"So...what IS Jack doing this year?"
And now everyone's sat smiling. You ever see that macro of Willy Wonka on the internet? Imagine twenty of them looking at you, awaiting your next few words. "Oh, he's hunting." He's not. He's at home, probably pacing up and down the room talking to no one. He does that. Quite a few of them do that. Wrestlers are weird. "We haven't seen him since the incident with the cat." Mom looks down. Everyone looks down. Connor's loving this. "I..." I look to everyone, their judgemental expressions falling upon me. "I'm just gonna get some air, that okay?" I leave. And it's not an excuse. Well it is. But that's still exactly what I'm gonna do. I need air.
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Am I scared? A little. But that's cool. I've got you, right? You're my backup! Cause I feel in these last few weeks we've gotten closer, you and I. Whoever you may be. You're a good listener though, I can tell you these things. That Axle Aomori, he said I'm scared. He doesn't know scared, though. How many monsters did he slay? Does he know there's an Extremis waiting for him? That there's a Monster waiting to get killed by him? Nah. Loser. And then there's Shapiro, he didn't even pass the Trace Demon test! But that's okay, not many do. But lesser pass the Diamond Jack Sabbath test. If he can't beat Trace, he's not got a rat's chance in hell beating me!
And maybe this National Title...maybe, if I can get that it'll be big and nice and gold and the shininess will blind the Monster if I shine it at him. Hey, that'd be pretty smart, actually. Shine it in their beady little eyes and then Crown Kick them to Kingdom F*ck. Sounds awesome, leave it to me. Maybe if I just keep talking, constantly, we can pretend this promo hasn't ended and then once I win the title I can look him in the eye, I can look fear it's self in the eye and say "Just Run" and use it against him. So just keep talking, Jack. Keep on talking.
I think we're running out of time guys. I can see the end.
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I stand outside. No one has followed me out. No one dares. The problem with being with someone like Diamond Jack Sabbath is what it makes other people think of you. What it does to your family relations. It's odd. I've never met his family. I don't think he has any left. Skip was the closest he had to a father who cared and yet he chose me over him. I AM Jack's family.
"Amy, sweetie?" I turn around. It's Mom. She's got a cup of coffee in her hand and a smile. "It's cold out. Thought you might want something hot to drink." I take it from her gently and we sit on the front step of her house after a quick thank you and peer off into the night's sky. "Hi Mom. Sorry. I had to get out of there." She nods. "I know, I know. I don't blame you. Connor can be a bit full on, as we all know. You have to understand, we all come from almost a different world to you. We know you struggle, I just think everyone's so...worried."
That's an odd one. "Worried? Why?"
"Well," she begins, "we only see you once a year. You're like family Santa. And you never bring Jack. You're so mysterious to us. We have to turn the television on to see what you're up to."
"I'm sorry, Mom. I do try to make an effort." She shakes her head. "Oh pish-posh. You manage a celebrity wrestler. He's a big deal. And I know you feel you can't bring him because of how he is. It's fine. Some of the best men in history were irritable, too. Jack...well, he reminds me of your father. Quite the hardass in his day, God rest his soul. But don't feel you'll be judged. You should bring him next time and see. These guys would love him." I raise an eyebrow. "He never wants to. He's been...distant recently." Mom stands up after shrugging. "Well, I met him once, and I like him. Bring him next time. I'm sure he'll handle himself if Connor comes along with his usual bull." We smile at the notion and she goes back inside. She doesn't ask for thanks and I don't need to give it to her, because she knows already.
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Well...?
Where's the Monster?
If it's not...if it's not you...
And it's someone close to me...then...
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Maybe I should bring him next time. Maybe I shouldn't worry about this "Xtremis" business and parade him around a bit more, show some more pride in him. I pick up my phone and I text him, because I do wonder what Mr. Sabbath is doing right now. At the end of the day, I'm Amy Taylor, and I don't care whether these people here look down upon me.
I'm Mrs. Diamond Jack Sabbath, and if that makes me a monster, then so be it.
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