Big Trouble In Little Seattle (Axel Thornstowe)

[Deleted]

Complete darkness is all that can be seen, until a spotlight flashes down on what appears to be a wrestling ring.
Axel Thornstowe is sat on a chair in the ring. He looks incredibly relaxed, and stretches out before he begins to speak.

There are two types of people in this world.

There are people that sit patiently and wait for their opportunities, and there are people who take them.

I used to be the former. But that was, until WFWF Homecoming. When I was in that ring after I lost to Devilkiller, my mind changed. I had an epiphany. I realised that sitting there and waiting for opportunities to come to me wasn't going to get me anywhere. I realised I have to make them for myself.

And that brings me to Shapiro.

All week long, people have been asking me. "Why?" "Why did you do it Axel?" "Why did you attack Shapiro?"

It's simple. I attacked Shapiro for two reasons. A, the fact I don't like him. In fact, I'd go as far as to say I hate him. And, B, the fact that if I take him out, that's one less person in the way of me and the WFWF National Championship, and that's my plan. One by one, starting with Shapiro, I am going to take out every single contender for the National Championship until it's just me and Ante Whitner. But, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's focus on right now.

Why do I hate Shapiro?

I hate how much of a phoney he is. He comes out here with a false smile, pretending to be happy. But I see right through him. I know that's not who he really is.

I know you have a monster inside of you, and I know that you know you have a monster inside of you. And I also know that you hate that fact.

You hate the fact that you're just like me. You're evil, I'm evil. You're a villain, I'm a villain. You're a monster, I'm a monster. But you know the difference between me and you?

You bottle it all up. I let it flow free. You're ashamed. I'm proud. You don't like it, I love it. You try as hard as you can, every single day, to conceal what you are, and for the better part, you succeed. But, it's like I said at Homecoming.

You can't cage the beast forever. I know that every once in a while, you have little episodes of rage. I know that there are times when you just can't control yourself anymore. You try as hard as you can, but the fury overpowers you, and it takes over your body. It becomes you. You become it. And for those little moments in time, you embody the monster that's inside the darkest pits of your stomach. But you try again to bottle it all up until the next episode.

Me?

Every single day, I am the monster. I wake up, and I am evil. I look in the mirror, and I see a poisonous, malevolent, sick, dark, twisted life form. I don't have 'episodes'. I am always the physical embodiment of the monster. What lies inside.. no. In fact, it doesn't lie inside. It is me. After so many years of torment, suffering, and torture, the monster has become me. And I prove that each and every single time I hurt another person. And that brings me to Big Trouble In Little Seattle.

Stan McMann.

I'm going to be upfront and honest with you here, Stanley.

I think you're a joke. I also think that you are a parody of wrestling. You come out here with your mustache, your tree, and your beef jerky, and act like a douchebag. I don't buy into your little game like all these fans do. I don't think you're funny, and I don't think you're clever, either. This whole thing is a joke. A joke. You wanna know the punchline?

There is no punchline. The joke ends at Big Trouble In Little Seattle, when I drive your head into the mat, choke the life out of you, and beat you like the bitch you really are.

The light turns off.

[bad guy™]

You know, for what's essentially a monologue, you knocked it out pretty good. Watch your phrasing. Some segments were a little wordy. Especially until you get really good and your stuff gets longer by nature, go back and read aloud what you wrote. Read it like you're reading to a group of people in book club or something. I can almost guarantee you're going to stumble over a couple of parts. Retool those parts in the future, and you'll instantly take two steps forward.

I really liked your bit on Danger10 . I'm gonna be frank, it's been a LONG time since we've had consistent bottom card guys. They always come in, show a couple of times then bounce. You and Shaps are taking the punches and keeping with it. You're both improving.

You're improving so much so that I'm thoroughly enjoying this little story of yours. Most people only pay mind to the WFWF Championship picture, and maybe whatever guys like Bish and Kyzer are doing. I'm watching you and Shaps grow and realize: damn. You two are gonna be damn good writers when this is all over. You guys have all the potential and none of the entitled ass attitude.

You're gonna go far, kids.

[Rated R]

I liked this for what it was, a nice solid monologue. There's a lot to be said for a good monologue and recently Bishop has proved that you can win matches with a fantastic monologue alone. However I still want to see you hone your scenes properly, it's hard to develop a character without going into depth on their lives and it's hard for me to give proper feedback to you when I don't have much beyond a short monologue to work with. Still I do think you're improving and like Shawn said there's a great chance that you're going to rise through the ranks over the next few months. Keep it up.

[The Gangsta]

Great monologue man. Really good. You set the scene with the lights and Axel's disgust for Shapiro, Stan, and DK. You drive forth a strong reality aspect of the situation with you and Stan and I think it's great. Like Trace and Shawn have said above, you guys are constantly contending for the National title, which can give me a headache at times . Keep at it man and I'll probably see you again sometime down the road in a championship match.

[Prophet of Ash]

I'm with Horror. Definitely read back your writing aloud for monologue situations. There were several lines here that you set up as killer lines, but didn't quite deliver on just because they needed a fine tuning. They just weren't quite right. You've got to know the exact quirks and the way your character would say whatever he's saying and deliver that exact way. Maintain a character dialect. It's something Drakz has nailed perfectly and is probably the best in the game at. I've never read something Drakz has written and thought "well that was odd". There's room for improvement but the clay you're playing with is the building block for success. It just needs molding.

[bad guy™]

Feb 12, 2015 19:13:05 GMT -5 Prophet of Ash said:

I'm with Horror. Definitely read back your writing aloud for monologue situations. There were several lines here that you set up as killer lines, but didn't quite deliver on just because they needed a fine tuning. They just weren't quite right. You've got to know the exact quirks and the way your character would say whatever he's saying and deliver that exact way. Maintain a character dialect. It's something Drakz has nailed perfectly and is probably the best in the game at. I've never read something Drakz has written and thought "well that was odd". There's room for improvement but the clay you're playing with is the building block for success. It just needs molding.

Did Drakz not write an RP about him depicting me as a member of the IRA? Pretty sure that's "odd."