Post by jdfranchise on Oct 29, 2014 0:14:33 GMT -5
10/27/14
"Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits."
That's at least what they told me. But being the consummate investigative reporter that I am, I had to see it for myself. I, Alejandro Guadalupe Jimenez, went where no reporter has ever gone before. I went where clear and present danger loomed in order to unveil the truth surrounding one of the world's greatest legends. The inspiration behind years of urban legend that has become as great as he. Awestruck are the ones who witness his power and are left to tell the story, and the things I saw left me in a frozen state of fear and disbelief.
As I recount Grand Master Norris' preparation for his WFWF Celebrity Deathmatch bout with Mother Nature, it became very clear early on that he wasn't treating this like any other goodwill charity event or day on the set, where the atmosphere is generally light hearted according to Walker, Texas Ranger co-star Clarence Gilyard, Jr.
"Chuck's been a little on edge recently I must admit." Gilyard said as he nervously sat down for his morning cup of coffee. "I mean, I don't know what's changed in him. Ever since he found out that he's fighting Mother Nature he's been in this trance."
The trance that Gilyard spoke about interested me to say the least. And since Mr. Norris couldn't be reached for immediate comment, I sought him out.
This is my story of meeting the incomparable Chuck Norris.
10/20/2014
"I have to tell you right off the bat that what you see here, you are not going to believe." Gilyard told me as we walked onto the set of Walker, Texas Ranger. "And at any point should you feel scared, it's ok to run."
"I came to find out how Master Norris is preparing for this bout with Mother Nature." I reassured Gilyard as he led me to the trailer where Mr. Norris stayed during his on-set breaks. "I've covered a lot of weird situations during my journalism career."
"Trust me," Gilyard said. "This is like nothing you've ever seen before. I've known Chuck for almost 30 years and I'm still in shock "
I had my skepticism. The prior events that I've covered in combat sports, most pre fight activities were usually filled with a lot of bravado and trash talk, so that is fully what I expected, especially given the magnitude of the bout and his opponent. With an opponent that openly boasts seismic storms which can alter the very course of human existence, I expected fear to be the undertone in the Norris camp. I expected to find that Clarence Gilyard was only talking up Mr. Norris as a way to prevent truly showing his hand so close to the fight. A fighter is supposed to exude confidence to the world, and I fully expected to find Mr. Norris hiding his fear under a veil of confidence, despite his vast skill set.
But I was wrong. Dead wrong.
Now I should say that a certifiable killing machine who stays on the constant see saw of alertness and paranoia is an intimidating enough undertaking for any journalist seeking an interview. But when you take that same killing machine who is calm and engaging, that's downright frightening no matter the opponent.
When I first saw Mr. Norris in his trailer that day, I saw the trance that Gilyard spoke about. He was lying on what looked like a normal sofa, until I took a closer look and saw that the sofa was made of granite, with a bed of nails as the seat. His eyes were open, but his breaths were loud, almost snoring like.
"Is he asleep?" I asked. "Because the only time I've seen this is when Damon Wayans did that in Major Payne."
"Chuck's currently in meditation." Gilyard said. "He says it keeps his mind fresh while his body recuperates."
"Then I guess he's practicing deep breathing?"
"You ever lie down on a bed of nails?"
"Touche."
Gilyard walked over to Master Norris, and my heart began to race.
"Chuck, we gotta be on set in five minutes." Gilyard said with a silent but stern tone. He was unresponsive, so Gilyard reached down to shake him out of his meditation state. "Chuck, we-"
As quick as lightning, Gilyard was pulled down with an outward wrist flex, just mere inches from being impaled on one of the nails.
"I heard you." Master Norris said in a low tone before sitting up. He glanced at me and I nearly fainted. "Who's this?"
"My name is Ale..jan.n.n.dro, M.M.Master Norris." I finally stammered out. "I'm here to cover your bout with Mother Nature at the Celebrity Deathmatch show."
He gives me a hard look and immediately I began to shake. His focused demeanor turned to a jovial smile as he let Gilyard go. Gilyard jumps up and dusts himself off.
"Man, I hate it when you do that to me!" Gilyard shot out. "Damn near break my wrist every time you do it."
"You should know better than to grab me while I'm meditating." Norris chuckled.
"Someone's gotta keep production on a schedule."
"I'm sorry you have to see this," Master Norris turned to me. " What'd you say your name was again?"
"Alejandro, sir."
"Sir? That's reserved for my students." Master Norris said as he stood up from the bed of nails. "Please, call me Chuck."
"Ok, Chuck." I said, very impressed with his humility as he requested to treated like a normal man. "Thank you so much for allowing me to come by and get some information for my article."
"No problem." He smiled. Damn, even his teeth were blinding. "So, I take it Clarance has talked up all the great feats that littler the Internet?"
I don't know how he knew that. Is telepathy another of his feats that we didn't know about?
"I can tell because you seem hesitant to look me in the eyes when you speak to me."
"Well, I'm such a huge fan of all your work." I said as I cautiously looked him in the eyes. "And honestly, this is highest profile story I've ever done."
"I will say that I've been blessed to do some great things in my life." Chuck began. "But I always remembered hard work and confidence breeds success. When I was the World Kickboxing Champion, I had to eat, sleep and breathe kickboxing to keep my title because I knew my opponents were putting in the daily efforts to take the title from me. When I started Chun Kuk Do, I was worried about how it would be recieved because I saw the struggles Bruce went through developing his style. But I stayed confident and it worked itself out."
"Is that why you're so calm this close to the fight?"
"I have nothing to fear, Alejandro." Chuck said as he placed his hand on my shoulder. "Sure, Mother Nature is the toughest opponent I've ever faced. But she can be beaten, I'm confident of that."
"Toughest opponent?" You mean even tougher than Bruce Lee?"
"Bruce was a great fighter, so it's kinda 1 and 1a."
"I understand."
Chuck nodded and we were off to the set. I looked up at the sky as we entered the studio and saw what was a perfectly sunny day turn dark in an instant. Lightning bolts began to litter the sky.
"Looks like that last comment made her very angry, Chuck."
"She's just playing mind games, but she's playing them with the wrong man."
10/27/14
As I sit here, trying to put the events that transpired on the set, I guess you can say that I'm confused by what's reality and what isn't right now. I know in Hollywood, the idea is to make the actors appear larger than life with the characters they play, but seeing Chuck Norris confirmed my belief that he doesn't need to be built up.
Those who read this article will say that I did an incredibly balsy thing but searching for arguably the most dangerous entity on this planet or any other. But I see it as a man who is ready for a dangerous match and is confident in his ability to win. For every shoulder throw, gun disarm, spinning hook kick and even the moment he let the villian shoot him in the chest with live ammunition, I only saw a man who had Mother Nature on his mind. And that is why it is smart to put money on Chuck Norris at the Celebrity Deathmatch event. Chuck Norris fact #123,456,789. Only Chuck Norris can walk into a fight with Mother Nature and win.
Disclaimer: This article was written with Chuck Norris standing behind the author. By the time you read this, he will be standing behind you. If you get to the disclaimer, it's already too late.