thelostweekend
Superstar
Joined on: Jan 22, 2013 19:51:27 GMT -5
Posts: 659
|
Post by thelostweekend on Oct 22, 2014 0:18:08 GMT -5
Friendship doesn't justify exploitation. If anything, such a long-spanning friendship should make your buddy feel that much more inclined to make right by you.
Some of the accountability does fall at your shoulders. Your friend is the dad and it should be his responsibility to keep his kid in line. Once it was clear he wasn't going to do that, I think you should've been more proactive and maybe suggested that the kid stay in the same room as you guys so someone could keep an eye on him.
But to act like this is mainly your fault and not a case of lazy parenting is absurd. At 6, this kid should have a decent concept of how to treat the belongings of others. That doesn't mean these toys wouldn't tempt the kid, but at that age, the kid should at least be aware that the right thing to do is approach you and ask if he can look at your toys.
My girlfriend and her two young children and I moved in together over a year ago. I have a TON of toys on hand, so I was initially worried that they would get into them, even though I have the toys in a room of my own. For the most part, it hasn't been an issue. They are both curious, but mostly respectful. The girl, now 6, likes to ask questions about various toys and accessories, but she never goes into the room if I'm not in there. In fact, she's quick to come find me if the boy, now 3, wanders in there. And even he is mostly respectful. "Allll yours" he likes to tell me.
So maybe I'm biased, but 6 is plenty old enough not to be manhandling things that don't belong to you. That's just the byproduct of parents who haven't been bothered to instill some of these values.
|
|
|
Post by Nivro™ on Oct 22, 2014 0:20:46 GMT -5
Lol. I like you. Totally agree. They are just toys. And that's why I mentioned "perspective" in my first response. I'd be mad too, but this is definitely a first world problem. Some of these responses are rully surrrius. Having friends or money really has nothing to do with it.
I can just guarantee that you could take anything in your house that you spent $500 to $600 (I am just throwing out numbers because by the time I add all my damage up, $600 will be on the short end), let someone destroy it, and see how much "perspective" you have then.
Let's say it's a tv, laptop, or ANYTHING else. I think some people are just saying they'd take it with a grain of salt because it's toys that were damaged.What if it was a gold chain or something? A diamond earring? Your wife's engagement ring?
Let me ask you this Nivro... I see you have a pic of some 49ers there and a quote from Bill Walsh... Let's say you had a team signed ball that was one of your favorite things. You had spent a lot of time trying to get it. It was the crown jewel of your collection... Now let's say that a friend of yours comes over with his kid, and while that friend isn't paying attention to what his kid is doing, he wanders over into your mancave, takes the ball out, and washes all the signatures off!
Or let's say you have a seat on the front row, 50 yard line to a 49ers / Seahawks game and that same little tyke got them and ripped them up! You just had them lying on your kitchen counter because they're in your house and you didn't feel the need to lock them up in a case somewhere because you thought this kid's dad might actually be paying attention to what his child is doing!
Would this be such a small thing then? Same scenario to you seXXXy... but with different teams or something lol. Whatever you care about.
Well first off, I know whats in my house and where everything is in my house. My house is my responsibility. Everything in my house is also my responsibility. That includes anyone that comes into my house. If my best friend were to come over and his kid disappeared, its my responsibility find find that kid and see what he's up to, especially if his parent isnt. He gets into the bathtub and drowns, I can be held liable. He gets into the garage and backs the car out and runs over the neighbor, I can be held liable. Its my house, my property and Im liable for everything there. So if I know that I have valuable things that a kid can easily access in my house and I notice that a child is missing...Ive got nobody to blame but myself for sitting on my butt as he ruins something. I know you said you went and got him a few times but you've got to make sure if the father isnt going to keep him in one place, YOU have to keep him in once place because its your house and you are liable. My best friend & I have been friends for over 25 years. We're only 31yo. We work together daily. While I might get upset that something was ruined or damaged, Im smart enough to realize that its just a materialistic object. Anything in my house (with the exception of a stuffed clown that nobody can access but me anyway) can be replaced. My friendship and the last 25 years and hopefully the next 50 years cannot be replaced.
|
|
erokthegreatest
Mid-Carder
Joined on: Apr 7, 2014 3:29:31 GMT -5
Posts: 158
|
Post by erokthegreatest on Oct 22, 2014 0:43:36 GMT -5
I would tell him if it bothers you that much. I've had similar things happen with my sister's kid. If he acted as though he wasn't mad, give him the bill then and see what he says. I would have asked him politely the fist time to watch his kid though, knowing that you have a collection you take pride in. If he/she is your friend, you should be able to be up front with him.
|
|
|
Post by BoJack Hogan on Oct 22, 2014 0:49:09 GMT -5
I really don't like kids, so I usually avoid people who have them, friends or otherwise. Its easier for some than others. I'd have probably freaked out on the kid, but I admittedly have some issues. I don't know what a normal person would do. As much as it sucks to say it, unless your friend is really cool and understands, then it seems that you're just screwed. Parents put their kids ahead of everything, and might flip on you if you try to get him to pay like 300 dollars for figures taken out of packages. Not everyone understands, and people with kids quickly develop a 'kids will be kids' attitude (which I absolutely don't share). On the plus side, you should have some good karma coming your way. On the down side, karma doesn't buy rare Tully Blanchard figures that I kick myself regularly for not jumping on during the Legends run.
Good luck.
|
|
|
Post by Valbroski on Oct 22, 2014 1:06:46 GMT -5
Honestly if you really love them like family, just cut your losses and get a lock for your door if you plan on having them over again. You're not in the wrong for being mad but like you said, kids will be kids. Your buddy is going to be no help on this one because he probably views them as just toys too, just like his son views them.
|
|
|
Post by SteveHulk on Oct 22, 2014 2:02:14 GMT -5
Well first off, I know whats in my house and where everything is in my house. My house is my responsibility. Everything in my house is also my responsibility. That includes anyone that comes into my house. If my best friend were to come over and his kid disappeared, its my responsibility find find that kid and see what he's up to, especially if his parent isnt. He gets into the bathtub and drowns, I can be held liable. He gets into the garage and backs the car out and runs over the neighbor, I can be held liable. Its my house, my property and Im liable for everything there. So if I know that I have valuable things that a kid can easily access in my house and I notice that a child is missing...Ive got nobody to blame but myself for sitting on my butt as he ruins something. I know you said you went and got him a few times but you've got to make sure if the father isnt going to keep him in one place, YOU have to keep him in once place because its your house and you are liable. My best friend & I have been friends for over 25 years. We're only 31yo. We work together daily. While I might get upset that something was ruined or damaged, Im smart enough to realize that its just a materialistic object. Anything in my house (with the exception of a stuffed clown that nobody can access but me anyway) can be replaced. My friendship and the last 25 years and hopefully the next 50 years cannot be replaced. ...so you wouldn't be pissed-off if your friend indirectly caused $600 worth of damage to your belongings? Sure, materialistic objects are replaceable - but that doesn't take away the fact that they can be very valuable, not to mention any emotional attachment you might have for them too.
|
|
Deleted
Joined on: Apr 25, 2024 22:18:21 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 22, 2014 2:13:28 GMT -5
I know the popular response seems to be "hey, you've been friends forever ... get over it" but the fact that he refused to watch or discipline his son shows a complete lack of respect for you and your property. I'm not saying this is a dealbreaker - it shouldn't be - but, yeah, you're completely justified in being pissed off.
My biggest question is what six year old acts like that? A toddler? Sure, it happens. At six years old, you're in school ... you should have learned some degree of impulse control.
|
|
mrbiggs
Superstar
Joined on: Aug 5, 2014 13:21:40 GMT -5
Posts: 990
|
Post by mrbiggs on Oct 22, 2014 2:35:32 GMT -5
My friend... who I will ALWAYS be friends with, no matter what, works two jobs to make ends meet. That's why I haven't gone crazy on him expecting him to replace anything... Even though I have seen him spend his entire paycheck on figures and let his bills go late, but that's another story.
Anyway, he works two jobs, one being third shift, so he has never really had a lot of time with his son. His girlfriend is as useless as they come, so neither of them have taken the time to really teach the child anything. He, because he works so much, and she, well, just because she's lazy and a waste of breath.
The child has had trouble in school because he hasn't learned as much going into it as some of the other kids and was held back his kindergarten year. I really feel bad for the little guy, but that is also one of the reasons I feel my friend, his dad, should keep an extra close eye on him.
Like I said, I am never going to lose my friend over this, even though it does upset me that he still hasn't returned my calls. I am not expecting him to buy me new stuff, nor am I really expecting him to help pay part... I accept I should have taken better steps to make sure this didn't happen... I WOULD at least like a simple apology though, you know?
I have calmed down a lot since last night, but it still stings. That was a lot of time and a lot of money wasted. I'll move on. I just wish he would at least call me back, say he's sorry.. something!
I will say that I still believe with all my heart that al these people that are saying "kids will be kids" and "you know how kids are" would be singing a totally different tune if they were in my position.
People can say that "they are just toys", but I feel completely different about them. I am relaxed when I mess around with them and readjust my displays. Not to mention they are (in my opinion) the closest thing to a time machine I will ever see in my life. I can sit down and just look at my vintage version 1 Storm Shadow and am instantly taken back to being 8 years old again.
I suppose everyone finds comfort and release in their own way.. their own thing... and that's awesome. More power to you. Whether it be sports, video games... women... lol, I would never run down anyone's passion and say "it's only a ball game" or "it's only a World of Warcraft game that you've been playing for 8 hours straight", so never tell me "it's only toys".
|
|
|
Post by SteveHulk on Oct 22, 2014 3:43:16 GMT -5
I suppose everyone finds comfort and release in their own way.. their own thing... and that's awesome. More power to you. Whether it be sports, video games... women... lol, I would never run down anyone's passion and say "it's only a ball game" or "it's only a World of Warcraft game that you've been playing for 8 hours straight", so never tell me "it's only toys". Yeah, I never understand the "it's only toys" thing, as if they mean nothing... they are your personal belongings that you've invested time and money in and bring/brought you great pleasure. And at the end of the day, anything can be described as "only a..." (the Mona Lisa is only a painting, Action Comics #1 is only a comic etc.).
|
|
mrbiggs
Superstar
Joined on: Aug 5, 2014 13:21:40 GMT -5
Posts: 990
|
Post by mrbiggs on Oct 22, 2014 11:44:39 GMT -5
Hell, I make a living doing comic book commission work for people. I'm sure a lot of people give my buyers grief for spending what some of them do on a simple piece of art. I'm sure (because I have heard it most of my life from art teachers and such) that they hear "comic books aren't real art", but they like it, it brings them joy, it keeps my bills paid, and it means something... to BOTH of us. Same way with toys, I guess. Diff'rent Strokes for diff'rent folks.
|
|
tampatoys813
Superstar
Joined on: Apr 30, 2012 9:03:00 GMT -5
Posts: 909
|
Post by tampatoys813 on Oct 22, 2014 13:32:48 GMT -5
Its a bunch of BS man.
|
|
Deleted
Joined on: Apr 25, 2024 22:18:21 GMT -5
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Oct 22, 2014 22:33:35 GMT -5
Give the kid Tully
|
|
ClassicFan2
Main Eventer
Joined on: Oct 22, 2010 15:25:00 GMT -5
Posts: 3,257
|
Post by ClassicFan2 on Oct 23, 2014 8:58:24 GMT -5
or you could go down the line of going to the kids house and doing some revenge damage to his favourite toys. nothing like getting back at a 6 yr old eh?
|
|
ClassicFan2
Main Eventer
Joined on: Oct 22, 2010 15:25:00 GMT -5
Posts: 3,257
|
Post by ClassicFan2 on Oct 23, 2014 9:18:50 GMT -5
lent a friend my car a couple years back to go to a job interview. he side swiped a mail box denting/scratching the whole passenger side. I dont have full coverage, so to fix it out of pocket is over $3000. My buddy has no money and didnt even get the job. he's been a friend for over 20 yrs. my initial reaction = WTF? an hour later after realizing its just a material thing and no one was hurt, I let it go. he's my buddy, I'm sure he didnt do it on purpose, and crap happens. Your friend should have maybe offered to help replace open/damaged ones, but dont be to hard on a 6 yr old. those saying he's 6 he should know exactly what he's doing and should never mess up or do anything wrong are being ridiculous. try to remeber being 6 and think of how you knew everything and were perfect and never did anything stupid like this. bad situation all around, I'm sure your buddy is feeling embarrassment and regret.
had a friend who's new girl friend of two weeks brought her dog over and he's huge and his tail whacked my buddies fav $1800 acoustic guitar and cracked it BAD. what do you do? kill the dog, get all pissy and make her try to pay (he really liked this girl) or realize s**t happens and move on. good thing he didnt make an issue out of it, they've been married for 7 yrs now, lol.
you could have been robbed, had a flood, accidentally tripped and spilled a 40 oz pop on a bunch of your figs (a friend did that all over his RSC exclusives).
A friends dad recently committed suicide. my sister was in a car accident that broke her leg and other ankle and cant work. my dad is battling stomach cancer. and I lost two cats this past year to old age, while I'm on disability for a fractured neck. point being, its could be worse. try to keep perspective. my little brother has gotten into my rare expensive collectable in the past. man its a pisser, and it sure does suck, but its not the end of the world.
when you can, just talk to your buddy and tll him I love you/your son, but man you gotta help replace a couple of these figs please. if he is your friend he'll understand and help you out.
|
|
ClassicFan2
Main Eventer
Joined on: Oct 22, 2010 15:25:00 GMT -5
Posts: 3,257
|
Post by ClassicFan2 on Oct 23, 2014 9:34:10 GMT -5
1. None of this is your fault. Your 'friend' should have got off his arse to parent his child, not you. 2. You should'nt have to safe proof your collections in your own house - unless you yourself felt it necessary, these aren't dangerous weapons after all. 3. While I do see your predicament with letting this situation ruin a friendship, this guy isn't a real friend if he doesn't man up and do what is right by replacing your spoilt items. He is showing you absolutely zero respect by hiding from you. And what kind of example is he setting to his son, with his actions? My advice would be to go and see him, and if he refuses to at least help make things right, then you know where you stand with him as a friend. As i'm typing this, I feel massively pissed off for you. We should all be made accountable for our actions, only now-a-days it doesn't feel like any one actually is - that some how, the rules only apply to other people. I'm sorry for ranting, but it's people like you're 'friend' that really makes my blood boil. no you shouldnt have to safe proof your collectbles in your own house, but if they are THAT important to you and you couldnt live if anything happend to them, youd be smart and want to go the extra mile to make sure your figs are kept safe at all times. BECAUSE = POOP Happens! who has a better chance of falling off a cliff? the guy walking 2 inches from the edge or the guy walking ten feet from the edge. who's got a better chance of keeping their figs in tact, the guy who has them up on shelves or packed away in boxes or the guy who has them at reachable heights when there are kids around? which I have done when friends/family come over with kids. I went and locked my collectable room door and put other things I have up so kids couldnt get at em. to leave them there and just Expect no one to touch them is risky biz. If my figs were so important to me I'd flip or freak if anything happen to them, you can dam well bet I would make sure they are safe at all times. you are correct on the friend thing tho. talk to him, if he doesnt offer to help or at the very least seem very sympathetic to this, you know where you stand with that friend.
|
|
ClassicFan2
Main Eventer
Joined on: Oct 22, 2010 15:25:00 GMT -5
Posts: 3,257
|
Post by ClassicFan2 on Oct 23, 2014 9:43:21 GMT -5
I suppose everyone finds comfort and release in their own way.. their own thing... and that's awesome. More power to you. Whether it be sports, video games... women... lol, I would never run down anyone's passion and say "it's only a ball game" or "it's only a World of Warcraft game that you've been playing for 8 hours straight", so never tell me "it's only toys". Yeah, I never understand the "it's only toys" thing, as if they mean nothing... they are your personal belongings that you've invested time and money in and bring/brought you great pleasure. And at the end of the day, anything can be described as "only a..." (the Mona Lisa is only a painting, Action Comics #1 is only a comic etc.). correct. the things we like or love are important to us. and it hurts when things happen to them. but in situations like his, a problem has came about and you have to determine how bad it is and how important it is and how upset your going to get over it. i mean its horrible to have your collectable ruined. its happen to me and many others I know. but its not like a child was kinapped or one of his daughters was hit by a car or he lost he lost a 45 yr job. perspective! we cant take our toys with us.
|
|