Post by jdfranchise on Sept 9, 2014 18:51:53 GMT -5
Part 1: Devils
Battle at the Garden
8/24/14
Blood.
I knew there would be buckets of it. The body of a 225 pound man holds roughly seven liters of blood, and tonight Phillip Schneider and I probably spilled at least that all over Madison Square Garden. I was so light headed after the match, it was ten wonders I could make it backstage under my own power. In reality, what I was in tonight wasn't a match, this was real life Freddy versus Jason all the way down to the knives and tacky sweater. It was everything I thought it would be, my worst nightmare coming true. Everything I thought he would do he did and vice versa, although I had a choice to make the moment I saw the katana come into play.
Do I leave Nikki a widow so early in our marriage? I want her to love this sport the way I have, and losing me would only drive her away at the very beginning of her success. It was my passion that made her fall in love with me in the first place and inspired her to pursue this career. I couldn't take that away from her.
And the kids, do I leave them without their father? Sure there would be stories told about how Daddy went out like a true warrior. Tales of martyrdom that would make my demise seem... heroic, but would never replace the loss that they'd feel even if somehow the world kept turning and everybody inevitably moved on.
I'm alive because of the choice I made to utter those three words that in retrospect I know I didn't mean. Three years ago, the choice would've been different. I would've defiantly spit in his face and dared him to do it. All the while taking a deep breath, then making my peace with God as that samuari weapon of finality lopped my head clean off. They say the samurai live and die by the sword because they respect its ability to severe head from body, life from the living. I'm alive because I too respected the weapon and not the sociopath who just happened to be weilding it.
Even though I considered otherwise, the choice was easy and it's because I didn't have what I have now. Something to live for.
As I stand here in this shower, watching the blood wash down my body and onto the floor in a whirlpool of the years lost followed by thousands of glass shards that no doubt I'll be picking out of my back in the days that follow, I replay the words that Wayne told me all those years ago. I don't know what stings worse, the warm water filling the open wounds that cover my body or those prophetic words.
"You get into a ring with a guy like Obo and there ain't no way you're walking away the same."
Wayne had a point, because tonight I lost my regard for human safety, if only for that time. With every contortion of my body, I could feel the knife wounds opening on my back sending another rush of blood swirling down my leg, serving as a streaming reminder that wrestling's sanctity is what I fought for tonight. For the duration of the battle, I channeled seven years of hatred for Phillip Schneider and everything he stood for into a belly full of malice designed to take from him what he stole from others.
And I liked it.
Maybe it was because he was the one recieving the business end of my wrath, but something felt different tonight. I haven't quite figured out what it is or what triggered my wrath, but it felt right going to the lengths I did to protect what I hold dear. My livelihood was in jeopardy, my friend's health compromised and the closest thing I can draw comparisions with was paternal instinct. What I did out there pales in comparison, however, to what I would do protect my family.
"Josh," I turn my head as I hear the sound of Penny's voice entering the dark shower room. "You ok?"
"Yeah," I say, wincing as the water begins to turn cold. "I'm doing pretty good considering I've been stabbed, sliced, and turned into a human pin cushion tonight."
"A lot of people wouldn't have lasted as long as you did in that environment." Penny says, putting her hands behind her back. "And besides, he's probably burnt his bridges after tonight."
Penny had a point. Valuing something bigger than wins and losses is the real difference here. I cherish the people I have in my life, so much so that I would sacrifice something personal so they wouldn't feel any pain. Not everyone is willing to do that.
"Thanks Penny." I say as I crack a weak smile. It's all I can do at this point. "Can you do me a favor and get Nikki?"
"Sure dude." Penny says, before spinning slightly on her heel. "I'll drag her away from the media. They love her. She hasn't stopped smiling since she walked through the curtain. She's so happy Josh." Penny looks down and smirks. "It may not be my cup of tea, but I can see why."
If only I had enough energy to blush. I drop my head, letting the cold water wash down my neck. The water has become clear now, which is a good sign for me as well as Dr. Patton when he sews the wounds of battle. I turn the faucet off and reach gingerly for the towel hanging beside me. The clack of high heel shoes turns my focus to the doorway.
"Honey," Nikki says in a concerned tone. "Penny came and got me. She said you needed me. Is there something wrong?"
"I just never got the chance to congratulate you on winning the title." I say as I look at her holding the National Title. She literally hasn't put it down since the moment she won her match. "How does it feel to earn a championship?"
"It's different, but I like it." Nikki says, trying to put a very special moment into words. "My bags are going to be a little heavier now."
"Hey, I'm usually the one that carries your bags." I quip, placing the towel around my waist while walking toward her. "That's an extra fifteen pounds to carry, but its not a big deal."
"I know it's not," Nikki says before running her fingers through my hair. "I never asked you to carry them. You do it because you want to."
"Yeah."
I wrap my arms around Nikki's waist and give her a kiss. Her embrace feels so good and warm, the kind that makes me thankful that God put her in my life. You don't take advantage of something that rare.
"If I haven't told you lately, I'm proud of you." I say to Nikki as I look at her National Title. "Not only for coming in and being successful this quickly at the highest level of our industry, but the willingness to get better each time out. You've sacrificed a lot to get here, and that title is proof."
"Thank you," Nikki says to me with a smile. "For seeing the big picture out there tonight."
I knew exactly what she was talking about, and Nikki was right. I could've lost myself out there tonight for the sake of settling this seven year grudge that I've had with Schneider. But I didn't because I saw the big picture with support of those I love the most, evident by their actions once the cameras stopped rolling. Real friendships.
But I wonder if the "winners" circle feels this good right now, knowing that he severed the only relationship he had left just to win. My wounds will heal, but it wasn't like he left the match physically unscathed either. Those needle punctures and weed eater cuts will be a reminder of what I dished out in return to send him even further down that slippery slope. His whole world became scorched earth tonight because my resolve got in the way of his calculated judgement, and now being an island for the rest of his life is Phillip Schneider's cross to bear.
He may have taken three words out of my mouth, but I took much more from him.
"Hey Josh," the booming voice of Big Dave echoes, turning mine and Nikki's attention to the doorway. "Sorry to interrupt, but the doc's here to check you out."
"Thanks Dave," I say to Dave as we approach the doorway. "We'll be right there."
As Nikki and enter the room, members of the press are still present. They begin to swarm me, asking questions about my psyche and physical condition. Dave sees the annoyed look on my face, simply nodding in acknowledgement of my unspoken request.
"Ok!" Dave shouted, immediately gaining the attention of the media, who stop what they're doing. "Unless you're medical personnel, get out." The members of the media exit before Dave picks up his newly won International Title. "Proceed doc, you're gonna be here a while. I'm gonna go down to the trainer's room and get a couple stitches for this cut on my head."
"Ok Josh, why don't you lie down on this table so I can take a look at your lacerations." Dr. Patton says as he motions for me to lie on the mobile table. "Yeah, it looks like you've got four lacerations about a foot long going down your back and pretty substantial bruising forming as well."
"How bad is it?" Nikki asked as the doctor contunues to inspect my back. "Will it affect him in the ring?"
"Well, if you're asking me if he'll be able to wrestle, the answer is yes." Dr. Patton began as he started closing the wounds. "The lacerations are superficial, which is just the top couple layers of skin. However, I do think he should stay out of the ring until these get a chance to heal."
"Not a chance."
"I should tell you that these lacerations will get worse if you don't let them heal." Dr. Patton says as he continues to work on the sutures. "You're already looking at some heavy scarring."
"And?"
"That's just my advice, based off the potential risks for infection." He says before closing up his bag. "Of course it's your decision to take it or not."
"If I take time off, who's gonna be there to stop him when he decides to do it again?" I inquire before standing up and turning to face Dr. Patton. "I'll fight him or anyone else a thousand times, taking the same damage repeatedly, if it means no one else has to go through this."
I don't see myself as a martyr, just a guy that tries to do the right thing. I've done my fair share of evil deeds in my career, and I'm running short on the time to make amends for them. I reflect after each match that I compete in, always trying to find something that I can learn from. Sometime it's for seconds, minutes, hours, days, sometimes weeks, months, and years moving forward. But tonight I learned two very simple things very quickly.
Sometimes good people have to do bad things for a greater good, and a champion keeps getting up when his detractors want him to stay down.
**
Part 2: Angels
Atlanta, Georgia
9/1/14
"So tell me about Daniel Kirkbride."
I was somewhat taken aback when I woke up this morning with a text notification of the upcoming Grudge card. Daniel Kirkbride is scheduled to be my opponent in what they're calling a Proving Ground match. I recently said in an interview that I thought he had all the tools to be a major player at some point in the future. Someone must've caught wind of that, because they want to see if the future is now. I don't know about all that, but it's humorous to think about. Nevertheless, with such a great opportunity for Daniel to boost his resume at my expense, I'd be stupid to take him for granted. After all, look at what happened to Nikki and Penny's opponents when they were written off for being women. They lost, badly, proving once and for all that you don't underestimate any opponent in the business where hurting another person to achieve victory is your objective.
That's why I decided to expend multiple resources in scouting the undefeated prospect. At this level, he must have something to offer as a threat to me by simply being able to boast that. Scouting an opponent has been a key to the majority of my success in wrestling, and this will be no different. Watching video on Daniel Kirkbride, however, won't do my preparation justice. I need to be immersed in the Daniel Kirkbride experience.
"He's good." Nikki starts. "A lot better better than you'd expect a guy with his amount of ring time to be."
As I reflect on watching Nikki's match with him backstage at Up the Garden Path, I did notice a veteran like poise and patience out of the young guy. That's good, it means he's well trained.
"I need more than that, Nikki."
"I don't think I'm really the best person to be giving in ring tips." Nikki says, turning her attention to me as I get up from the table. "I really just try to focus on what I'm going to do in the ring, and react from there."
"You've been in the ring with him." I interject while placing my plate in the sink. "I'd venture to say that makes you qualified."
"So has Enchanted." Nikki quickly retorts. "I'm sure Penny could get her on the phone if you asked. She's been around longer than I have, so she would provide better insight."
"Ok, you've got a title, and she's been off the road since that match. So you're doing something right." I say, walking toward her with an insistent glare. "Besides, I'm not too happy with how she and Slanted performed like zombies when I tagged with them a couple months back. Penny hasn't even mentioned them recently, so I wouldn't know if she still talks to them."
"They're still friends of Penny's." Nikki shot out while walking past me. "You should really work on forgiving and moving on sometimes. They could've had something happen that took them off their game, but they still showed up for that match anyway."
Nikki put her hands on her hips, flashing a slight look of disappointment, knowing I hate when she does it. And maybe I should forgive them, it's the right thing to do.
"We've talked about how important it is to set a good Christian example for the boys, especially with our careers."
"I know." I say, dropping my head. "And I agree with you. They need to understand that what we do on TV is part of the job.
"The boys are still little, Josh." Nikki says, raising my head up. "It's easy for them believe what they see. They could easily think Daddy is a violent man compared to someone like Kirkbride based on what you did at the Garden."
"Wait?" I say, confused by the point Nikki's trying to make. "What exactly does Kirkbride have to do with setting an example for the kids?"
"Kirkbride is a Christian, or least that was what I was told." Nikki says, seemingly shocked by my lack of information on him. "I thought you were aware of that."
Oddly enough, I wasn't and she could tell.
In almost every market, proclaiming Christianity makes you a target for scrutiny, which is ironic considering that once upon a time people were executed for being proud of their beliefs. But sadly, we live in an age where religion is hidden. I've personally had struggles over the years with my faith, going from persecutor to victim of endless harassment because faith changed my life at a time when I was lost and feeling like sh*t. All because I took another man's living from him, and I couldn't forgive myself for that.
"Come on," she says, taking me by the hand. "I've got everything I could find about Kirkbride from when I went against him on my laptop."
"You know, your first hand experience against him provides a unique insight." I say as we enter the den. "I'm surprised Black didn't take advantage of it."
"I don't think he would've, even if I offered it." Nikki says, flipping her laptop up. "But, I also know volunteering information on another wrestler is a tricky proposition."
"It is." I say, sitting down in front of the computer. "It's also too bad that I have to face him here in a few days, because honestly, I can relate to Daniel."
Enough that people in small circles would think of us as kindred spirits. I don't boast my faith nearly the way I used to, but I think it has to do with finding a balance and learning to live the life as opposed to proclaiming it.
As Nikki and I play over the archived footage of Daniel Kirkbride, I find myself reflecting on the conversation we just had instead of her analysis. If the Daniel Kirkbride experience is designed to place a chip on my shoulder, consider me immersed, though I'm pretty sure it's not a smart idea to make the existing one bigger. My blood boils at the mere notion of my children possibly finding a role model in a person they don't even know, when I show them on a daily basis who I am and the values I wish to pass on to them. It may take time, but I trust they'll eventually understand.
***
Part 3: Juxtaposition
I find myself in a very interesting position after a hard fought match with Schneider at the pay per view. In the course of a couple of weeks I've had to go from fighting for my survival with the personification of evil who just happens to be one of the most successful people in this company's history, to a straight match with Daniel Kirkbride. A green as goose sh*t rookie that has so much hype up his ass, you'd think they really believe he's God's gift to wrestling. I should be excited for this match, because it's a guy trying to showcase the same virtues that I've made a career of upholding. Faith, respect, hard work. But sadly, I'm a little let down.
It has nothing to do with Daniel, however. Under any other circumstance, I would be happy to take him under my wing for a while and teach him about how this business really works. I would show him, through actions, that a guy that has been typecast into a certain stigma can succeed and they don't have to change the person they are in order to do that.
Angry kid from the southern ghetto.
Christian wrestler from the heart of the Bible belt.
Two polar opposites, to the untrained eye.
But maybe you can see, Daniel, that there are more similarities between us than what anyone wants to admit. We still hold our raising very close to the vest. But I am proof positive that a guy can be motivated by the crap around them and rise above it. I'd gladly give you the life lessons I learned the hard way for nothing in return, just not right now. Unfortunately, the tragic thing about all of this is that right now, you're a roadblock for me and doing my part in carrying out the mission SOS has accepted, and unfortunately you must be removed from my path in order to achieve it. That mission is stopping The Final Revolution from obtaining absolute power, ensuring talented kids like you are able to do what they love for a living.
Wrestling was always Plan A for both of us it seems although we've encountered plenty of opposition along the path, predominantly through our upbringing. But we never let that stop us, because of the great things we could do with it. We could be something different from the norm. Wrestling was my way out of a life that had two options waiting, an orange jumpsuit and a number at the United States Federal Penitentiary of Atlanta or a burial plot on the hill in Oakland Cemetary. I didn't have anyone urging me, or flat out telling me what path to take like you did and still do. What did your life look like before wrestling? What was your Plan B, Daniel? Seminary? Not a bad avenue either.
It wasn't until I wrestled for a decade that I had adequate money to even consider a Plan B. So when you thank God tonight, thank him for having people around you who care enough to guide your life because a lot of people don't have that. In fact when you go back to Austin as the local boy that made good, hug Walter and Maria, because a lot of children grow up without any support.
Anything less than that is a slap in the face to those who envy your position. People like me, who would love to have the loved ones that left this life back for just one more day. All so we can have the chance to cherish their company once again. You spit on us by not honoring what you have, and I don't take too well to being disrespected in case you weren't given the memo.
That's one very notable reason that I'm gonna kick your ass all over Indianapolis.
You strain your relationship with Walter and Maria, who in this dark world are probably the only people you don't have to question their unconditional love aside from God, just because they don't agree with your career choice?
Pardon me while I turn my bullsh*t meter off.
That's called being a good parent, son. No parent wants to see their precious fruit of the loins in pain, I know I certainly don't want to see my kids suffer. God didn't want Jesus to suffer either for sins he didn't commit, but he sent him because it was the right thing to do by people like us. I almost considered staying retired because I wanted to protect my family from the way this business chews up good wrestlers and spits them out, a trial you know absolutely nothing about. I didn't want them to see what deplorable things I could do when my back was forced up against the wall and everything that makes me the success I am is called into question. But I didn't, because this world needs people like me to dive into the trenches and lead by example
But don't bother with comparing me and Nikki to your parents, because we're not Walter and Maria. Consider me the big brother you always needed.
The one that cares enough to show you where your place at the dinner table is.
I know you saw Battle at the Garden, Daniel. I know you saw the brutality that Schneider and I put each other through, over a belief. I didn't go through that willingly for the sake of getting my kicks. I went through it for the kids like you, Shapiro, Witner, Thornstowe, North, Diamond, and Nikki. I did it so that the new breed of talent coming into WFWF won't be afraid to fight for their own beliefs, no matter what they are. That match was Earth's version of Hell, and I survived it. I survived because that's what I'm made of, and you can blame my upbringing for that. I survived because the kanji on my right arm, the cross with angel's wings across my back, and Faith by Design, Strength by Trial written on my ribcage cage aren't just pretty pieces of ink I got on a whim. They're a permanent reminder to myself and those who see them of the quality person I am, where I come from, and what I believe is important for a man to take with him through life. If my match with Phillip Schneider hasn't taught you anything by now, it should teach you that I will fight with the fire of infinite suns to defend these principles.
You believe in God, Daniel. Congratulations. But what else do you believe in? What else are you willing to stand and fight for?
That's what I intend to find out at Grudge. I want to know what Daniel Kirkbride is made of. I have to see for myself if you're a man of value, or a kid that makes proclamations for the sake of being different than the rest. And how ironic that our match is dubbed a Proving Ground match because I want you, Daniel Kirkbride, to prove to me that you're worth the hype. You've beat veterans, you've beat champions, but let's see how you do against me. You and I both like to seek the truth. Being the proponent of truth that I am, I just happen to know what it is.
I know that you can't hang with "The Franchise" Josh Dean. You're jumping in the deep end of the talent pool without floats Daniel, hoping that when you end up in over your head you'll be able to keep yourself from drowning in failure. But going against me is the best thing that could've happened to your career, because everyone needs to learn how to handle failure.
I did, and now it's your turn. I still stand by what I said in my interview about you having the goods to be a major player in wrestling eventually.
And you can thank me when you do.