Post by Prophet of Ash on Apr 11, 2014 19:02:41 GMT -5
WFWF Superbrawl
4/11/14
039: Off the Rails
Aka Short Stories with Tragic Endings
Aka With No Help From My Friends
RE: Drakz
3/17/13
Schneider's into the cage. Cross takes a swing with the hockey stick. Schneider ducks. Cam with the broken crutch. Schneider quickly turns the chair over and uses the side that doesnft have the razor blades as a shield, then knocks the broken crutch out of Cam's hands. Schneider jabs with the chair, but Camfs using the bent trash can lid as a shield himself. Mak Cross comes running and swings the hockey stick with all his might.. But Schneider moves and Mak cracks Cam right between the eyes with it.
Samael Ahriman: Miscommunication and Cam Nitta may be out. You play hockey as a kid Alecia?
Alecia Matthews: I played hookie.. But not hockey..
Samael Ahriman: A hockey stick is solid. No give to the wood at all.
Mak mourns for a moment over hitting Cam, but turns his attention back to Schneider. Schneider jabs him in the gut with the blunt end of the chair. Mak doubles over.. Schneider draws the chair back and slams the razor blade side into Mak Crossf back. Mak scrambles away, but the blades have done their damage. No less than twenty perfect lines of blood begin to flow from Mak Cross' back, his back quickly covered in crimson.
Samael Ahriman: Now that's just disgusting.
Alecia Matthews: And look at Schneider! He's laughing!
Scarlett Quinn is scaling the cage, albeit slowly. Schneider opens up the chair and sets it on the mat. It's now in the open position, with the probably fifty glistening silver razor blades sticking up. Schneider pulls Cam Nitta to his feet. He puts Cam in a front face lock. Schneider lifts Cam up. Hefs stalling. He's holding Cam's blood spattered and tack covered body above the razors and hefs simply demonstrating his strength. But he showboats too long. Cam brings a knee down into Schneider's head and Schneider loses his grip. Cam's feet are back on the mat. Cam grabs Schneider across his chest, and turns his back to the razor chair.. A sweep of the legs, Cam does a flip, flipping with Schneider and driving him onto and through the open razor blade chair!
Samael Ahriman: For the LOVE OF ALL CHRIST! Stop the damn match!
Alecia Matthews: That chair just collapsed to nothing as Cam Nitta drove Schneider into it with his C4 and I'd like to remind you, that chair was COVERED in razor blades. We seen the damage those blades did to Mak Crossf back.. Ifm almost afraid to see the damage to Schneider.. He just fell with all of his weight, plus Cam's weight and momentum.. THROUGH the razor chair.
Schneider scrambles away and he's ripped to pieces. Gushing blood. Bleeding all over the place. Cam stands up.. And he has no time to celebrate his victory.. Because Scarlett is into the cage and she nails him with her running super kick!
Alecia Matthews: She just CLEANED CAM'S CLOCK with that Drive By Kick!
Samael Ahriman: But Scarlett's down too.. After the fall off the cage.. It looks like she's hurt.. I'm not sure how she managed to pull the energy for that kick, but she's hurt.. And all four are down.
All four wrestlers are down. The first to stir is Cam Nitta. Hefs able to pull himself to his knees using the ropes but hees not in a great way. He grabs Mak Cross, who is covered in blood, bleeding from head to toe. Cam sets Mak up for the C4. But he can't get Mak up much less over. He drops Mak.. Mak is slowly to his knees. Cam runs and nails him with a shining wizard.
Samael Ahriman: シャイニング ウィザード!
Alecia Matthews: Run that by me again?
Cam is on his hands and knees. But Scarlett Quinn is up! And Shefs got the razor blade chair. She swings it with malice, drilling Cam on the top of the head with the razor end. Scarlett throws the chair away, but collapses herself. Luckily, she falls on the prone Mak Cross. Referee down for the count. 1...2...3!
Samael Ahriman: Was that three??
The bell sounds. "Come Out and Play" by The Offspring hits over the P/A system. The referee tries to raise Scarlett Quinn's hand, then tries to help her to her feet TO raise her hand.. But Scarlett's out of it.
Samael Ahriman: We've got a new WFWF champion. Scarlett's music is playing but in this match, there were no winners. New Kylie hasn't moved since she came off the cage. The Deville got carted out several minutes ago.. Percy got stretchered out.. We're going to need three more stretchers out here.. Maybe four unless someone carries Scarlett to the waiting ambulance..
Alecia Matthews: I've seen some wars for the WFWF title.. But this has got to top them all. And frankly, I don't want to see someone try to top this, because someone'll be killed.
Samael Ahriman: That's your champion. She's the WINNER. I've seen people step on god damn landmines and look in better condition!
Alecia Matthews: We are past our time here..
As the cage is raised, Penny Shannon comes running down to the ring from the back and bolts over to the timekeeper where the WFWF Championship is being held. She grabs the title belt and tries to avoid all of the carnage around the outside of the ring as she pulls herself intot he ring, careful to avoid all debris. She sits Scarlett up, who is starting to come to mentally but is completely unable of even lifting a finger. Shannon kisses Scarlett's shoulder and holds the title in front of her face. Scarlett is nodding her head back and forth, a smile creeping onto her face.
Alecia Matthews: It would seem that we are staying on the air...but why?
Scarlett leans her head back into the chest of Shannon, smiling, her hands placed on her WFWF Championship sitting in her lap. Phillip Schneider rolls out of the ring and into the waiting arms of a ring attendant. "Slip Out" by Beck resonates throughout the arena, but rather than following the action in ring, we move to a previously unseen camera angle, that simply follows Phillip Schneider to the backstage area. He's burned, bloodied, and barely walking even with the assistance of the backstage attendant. Schneider starts up the ramp, but the ring attendant guides him to the side of the ramp, as to not interfere with the post match spectacle. In the background on the stage behind Schneider, Shawn Malakai and Thunder can be seen. Shawn Malakai can be heard clearly as Schneider and the ring attendant make their way through the giant draping curtain.
Shawn Malakai: Well I will be damned. You did it, darlin'. I know everyone in this arena here hates her and hates me, but you will clap for this girl. No, this woman. You will never see anything like this ever again and you will show her your appreciation. Scarlett, love...you are the first woman to ever hold that championship. You have not the foggiest of how proud I am of you. And I know things have not always been great between the three of you, but trust me when I say your mother and father are even more proud of you that me, Penny and all of your fans combined. Even Thunder here was impressed.
Schneider has made his way to the backstage area and takes a seat on a bench. The Deville is already there, being treated for his minor wounds by medical staff. Upon seeing the arrival of the former Heavyweight Champion of the World, the majority of the backstage staff leave The Deville and head to tend to Schneider, who is in much worse shape. The Deville gives a nod to Schneider. Shawn Malakai's voice over the house mic can be heard clearly echoing to the backstage area over the public address system.
Shawn Malakai: This reign of Phillip Schneider has come to a rather unceremonious end. I cannot say that I am happy or sad about that, but he was the longest reigning champion ever and may remain that until the end of time. That is a record that I bow down to and everyone in this company will always revere. And a little 18 year old woman was able to bring this chapter of the WFWF to a close. Impressive.
Schneider rises from his bench, much to the protest of the medical staff.
Phillip Schneider: This is bull.
Pierce Deville: Easy boss
Phillip Schneider: No, I'm done.
Schneider rushes past the medical staff, hobbling as he makes his way to the backstage area. Shawn Malakai can still be heard over the P/A system, but much less distinctively. The Deville rises up and starts to chase after Schneider, he himself hobbling and limping as he makes chase.
Pierce Deville: What do you mean “you're done”?
Phillip Schneider: I mean I'm done. I'm done with all of this.
Pierce Deville: “This”?
Phillip Schneider: WFWF, wrestling, all of this. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of always being hurt. Look at me man. How the hell am I supposed to explain all of this? I look like I just went through a car wreck. It's not worth it.
Schneider peels off his kick pads, throwing them aside as he enters the shower room. The Deville makes it a point to pick them up. Schneider leans down and quickly undoes the top few laces of his boots, pulling the left one off and then the right one. He throws his boots aside with careless abandon. The Deville goes after them, almost like he's playing fetch for his master. The Deville has an armload of Phillip Schneider's bloodstained and battle damaged gear as he follows closely behind his boss, Schneider entering the shower room
Pierce Deville: You can't just quit.
Phillip Schneider: Why?
Pierce Deville: Because you've got people depending on you. You've got the entire Decaying Society depending on you..
Phillip Schneider: Yeah? And when I needed to depend on the Decaying Society, I was let down. I was let down by all of you and as far as I'm concerned, The Decaying Society is dead. All of you, go your separate ways. I'll take New Kylie home with me, because at least the purpose I brought her in, as a sex toy, she can still serve. The rest of you serve no purpose to me.
Pierce Deville: You can't just walk away from it all man. This is your job. You've said it yourself, wrestling is the only thing you've ever done in your adult life and it's the only thing you're good at.
Phillip Schneider: I made more money TONIGHT than most people make in three years, Pierce. I've got enough money in my bank account that I could never lift a finger again and I'm financially secure, I'll have money for a nest egg for retirement and my girls will have money when I die. This isn't like when YOU left ME hanging in 2008. I don't need pro wrestling. I can walk away from this, leave it all behind, and never look back. The car shows, the autograph signings, the personal appearances, I don't need it and I'm not going to do it. I'm done man.
Schneider turns on the water to the shower. He's still mostly dressed. Shorts, socks, tape.. The stem rolls out of the shower as the water flows and in most of his gear, Schneider steps underneath it. His shorts begin to sag from the weight of the water and his blood dilutes from the dark red to a light red to orange, a swirling Bates Motel effect being created underneath his feet. The blood is still flowing freely and now with all the surface blood washed off, Schneider's wounds can all be seen clearly. The blood flows like water from his back. His long blonde locks are dyed red from the blood. His white socks are growing darker red as the blood flows down onto them. It's a disgusting display as Schneider's plasma paints the shower.
Phillip Schneider: This is my blood man. This is my life giving blood swirling down the drain. You think this is fun for me? I'm going to have permanent scars all over my body from tonight. No amount of money is worth that to me. Not any more. How much money is enough and what risk to my body is enough? What is a pound of flesh worth? You think if my daughters get a nice fat check for a few million dollars from WFWF, they'll be able to go to the store and buy a new daddy, when I get KILLED out there? It's too much man, and I'm done.
Pierce Deville: Look man, that's all well and good, but if I'm not working here, I'm going back to prison.
Phillip Schneider: Who said anything about you leaving? I don't care what you do.
Pierce Deville: I'm only here because you are. You think they'd just hire me back, without you saying so? With my reputation?
Phillip Schneider: Do whatever man. It's not my concern.
5/5/13
Earlier this week, I had the opportunity to sit down with a legend in the sport of professional wrestling, a man who has done it all I the WFWF federation who announced a shocking departure from the sport following his last match. What I expected was a simple interview with an athlete who was bitter at his employers typical of the high drama world of professional wrestling. What I got was something much more.
Hello once again. You’re listening to Johnny Hamilton here on Sport Radio in Essex. Joining me in the studio this afternoon is now former professional wrestler from the WFWF promotion, Phillip Schneider.
He looks at me and nods, but doesn’t say anything into the microphone to acknowledge to the listeners that he is present.
Phillip, how are you doing today?
I’ve had better days. I’m still banged up from the Pay Per View and I’m incredibly jet lagged now as well.
Well the first things first Phillip, would you like to explain to our listeners why you’re in the United Kingdom this morning?
I made commitments outside of the WFWF for media and personal appearances here that were to coincide with the WFWF’s tour in England and I am a man of my word. This is the only radio appearance I’ll be doing while in England, so make it count Johnny.
Well I think the question on the tongues of all of my listeners would be, what is Phillip Schneider up to now? What is Phillip Schneider doing in a life outside of the ring? And why did you leave the ring in the first place?
How about we open with a lighter topic, eh Johnny?
Alright, let’s start from the beginning then. The new beginning… You appeared back on the wrestling scene in November 2010 after a lengthy hiatus. What brought you back to the ring, initially?
I’m going to be cliche and say exactly what I said in character. Because my “in character” is never far off of my real life. That’s why when I returned, I didn’t go by the name “Obo” and I distanced myself from the “King of Gore” mantra, because those are gimmicks and what I do isn’t a gimmick. I am Phillip Schneider. My ID and driver’s licenses say Phillip Schneider. When I returned at the end of 2010, I was returning to take over the company. I seen what was happening with the company.. I had followed the company for a year or so prior to returning.. And the guys who were on top, I knew I was better than them. I returned because I wanted to finish my career on a high note. Fans had memories of what I had done and the last memory that they had of me was a last minute removal of me from a Pay Per View main event and a sloppy substitution from Yukio Blaze. That is a wrong that I returned to correct.
So you wanted to finish your career on your own terms. One last run?
Not just that. I knew for a fact that I was better than the guys populating the WFWF. And I think I proved that. Twenty four televised matches I had before I was pinned, submitted, counted out, or disqualified. Eighteen months. And the guy who finally beat me caught me in a flash pin fall.. A guy whom I had already beaten, twice, in big match atmospheres.
The boss of the WFWF now, Trace Demon. Believe he has relatives from around these parts?
I wouldn’t know. I’ve never socialized with Trace.
You say twenty four televised matches before a pin or submission over eighteen months.. But your record wasn’t unblemished. You suffered a defeat, a fairly significant one, at Superbrawl in 2011. The significant date of 11/11/11 as my notes say. You challenged for the first time in your illustrious career for the WFWF National Championship, the one championship that you need to have held each championship at least once, but came up short against Hutton Brown in a ladder match.
Yes. Hutton climbed a ladder and pulled a belt down and somehow, that made him the winner. But he was never the same after that match. He had his own hiatus following that match..
Let’s talk about Hutton Brown for a moment. You’ve been very outspoken about him in the past…
You want me to talk about Hutton Brown? I’ll talk about Hutton Brown. Hutton Brown could’ve just had a match with me, took his lickings and took his lashes like a man, but he had to escalate it to a personal degree. And when I did injure him, he couldn’t just realize I AM the better man. That I AM the better athlete than he is. He had to come and ruin my moment. Tokyo, Japan. The Tokyo Dome. Probably the most significant moment of my career because not only did I win the WFWF World Heavyweight championship for the second time, I became the first man to pin Michael Kyzer clean in the center of the ring. But at the end of the night, that wasn’t what was important. What was important what that Hutton Brown made his return to the WFWF. And despite wrestling one of the most grueling and violent matches in WFWF history, Hutton thought throwing me around a little bit proved a point.
Professional wrestling is a show, right Phillip? There’s a degree of show to it. You want to win the matches, but not at the risk of paralyzing or crippling an opponent, correct?
Most of the time, yes.
Then why did you do what you did to Hutton Brown? You knew doing the maneuver that you performed to him from the top rope would injure him. For my listeners at home who have not seen what I’m talking about, load Youtube and type in “wrestling gone wrong, Phillip Schneider cripples opponent” and the video will come up. My producer has loaded the video here.. Here we see this abomination set up.. The security rail.. Some seats.. A sheet of glass.. And you’re up there.. You pull Hutton onto your shoulder.. And.. Uhhh. That’s hard to watch. For the listeners at home, Phillip performed his signature maneuver, the “Beverly Kills 90210” a sit down head driver, from the top ring rope to the outside onto all the items I mentioned. Upon impact, Hutton Brown’s neck and spine bend a horrible way. Just dastardly. The video goes on to show Phillip pinning Hutton and then mocking him, to re-enact a scene from the Jean Claude Van Dam movie “Bloodsport” and steal his elbow pad. What do you have to say for yourself, Phillip?
I have no remorse. I have no regrets.
You don’t regret injuring Hutton Brown like that? To take away his lively hood?
No.
I’m getting word from my producer that we need to take a momentary break for adverts. When we return, more of professional wrestler Phillip Schneider, as we look back with a retrospective on his wrestling career.
4/14/13
Cut to the backstage area! To Xavier Pierce’s office. Pierce is writing on some papers when there’s a conveniently timed knock on the door.
Xavier Pierce: Come in.
Through the door limps a noticeably banged up Pierce Deville. Much like Mak Cross, Scarlett Quinn, and Cam Nitta, The Deville is showing the war wounds from Psycho Circus.. He’s also much more somber than he has been in every appearance since returning. His signature smirk, the condescending look he’s had on his face since returning at the side of Phillip Schneider is washed away and replaced by an emotionless straight line on his face.
Xaiver Pierce: Can I help you? I was under the understanding that you “Decaying Society” people wouldn’t be around here for a while, since Schneider decided to take his ball and go home..
Pierce Deville: Look, I’m not here for Schneider.. I’m here for me. I want to stay here.. He might be taking time off.. But I can’t afford to..
Xavier Pierce: Unless Trace Demon has negotiated something I’m not aware of.. We aren’t paying you..
Pierce Deville: I’m here on work release. I’m here because I’m a well known wrestler and former champion here. If I’m not working here.. Then I either find another wrestling company to work for.. And with my reputation, that’s not easy to do.. Or I go back to prison.. And I CAN’T go back to prison.
Xavier Pierce: There’s no openings on the active roster.
Pierce Deville: Please man, I’m begging you.. I’ll do anything.. I’m well trained for anything.. I’ll set up your rings man..
Xavier Pierce reaches under his table, pulling out a referee shirt in a plastic bag. He looks at it for a moment then throws it at The Deville.
Xavier Pierce: I hope you can wear a large.
Pierce Deville: Thank you so much, sir. You won’t regret this decision sir.
Xavier Pierce: Please. See yourself out of my office. And tell Schneider whenever he wants to come to work.. He can come have a similar meeting with me..
6/1/13
Tell me about your father.
It's been a few weeks since *that* night and I'm feeling better now, but I've also come to accept that these visits are now a part of my life. The short carpeted room with non-threatening neutral colored carpet.. The leather covered chairs that squeak when you sit on them.. The book shelves covered in more books than a library and almost always with random toys too.. This is a therapist's office.
This is the third therapist I've seen since *that * night. The first therapist was convinced that there was underlying sexual tension or a history of molestation, because everyone who's suicidal was molested at some point. The second one just wanted to drug test everyone. Me, dad, mom, Percy, New Kylie, Old Kylie, Meg, Alexis, Deville, everyone. You wrestling people are all on crack and steroids. Especially Meg. Meg and Alexis. They're super hopped up on steroids. All hundred thirty pounds of Meg and skinny little Alexis.. They're on roids. And because Dad doesn't have contact with them any more, they're clearly the problem. It's not a history of depression. It's not a history of bipolar. It's not the attention deficient hyper activity disorder paired with oppositional defiant disorder for a cocktail of crazy. It's not the fact that my mother was diagnosed with all three of these as well. Nope. Not the anxiety and panic attacks either. My dad's ex girlfriend does steroids. That's clearly the answer.
This third guy seems a little bit more on the level. He comes recommended from the secretary who used to run my dad's psychologist's office. From what my dad says, Dr. Baldwin could've already got to the root of my problems and been fixing it, but he's no longer alive so I have to settle.
Samantha, tell me about your father
What do you want to know?
What's he like?
He's a wrestler.
He's writing something on his tablet of paper. He doesn't even bother to look at me again as he's asking his next question. It's rude and obnoxious to not even look at the person you're trying to understand.
Well, what's he like? I'm sure life isn't all about body slams and head locks. What's he like at home?
Calm. Reserved.
Reserved?
This gets his attention. He looks up at me with a look of intrigue in his eyes.
He doesn't say a lot a lot of times. He'll find his place in the house, either in his office on the computer, in the living room by his games, or in his bedroom and stay there sometimes for days at a time. I can't remember the last time we really just sat down and talked. In fact, after Meg and Alexis left, we quit even having meals together. He'd just have Percy buy food that I could cook in the microwave when I got hungry, or he'd order food in. Or Percy would cook for me..
Percy is..?
My dad's assistant. He was my dad's business manager in wrestling. He was a wrestler too at one point, but now he just makes sure my dad's career runs smoothly. Gets the rental car, books the hotels, buys supplies for my dad like tape, new gear, new pads.. Drove my dad around a lot..
And you said your dad doesn't wrestle any more?
No.
Then what does Percy do now?
He takes care of me and my little sister. He brings us food and drinks.. He makes sure I make it to school and that Hailey makes it to the babysitter. He still goes to stuff like parent teacher conferences at my school.
Why?
Because he knows what my schooling is like, he knows me better academically than my dad does. He knows what these parent teacher deals are like. He's not going to get mad at the teachers when they say things.. My dad doesn't really know what's up in that regard.
So your dad gets mad often?
You're not a wrestling fan, are you?
I can't say I am.
My dad's temper is kind of legendary. That's what he's known for.. for getting angry and just going nuts on people.
Does that carry over outside of the ring?
What do you mean?
Does he ever lose his temper with you?
He has
Over what?
I got caught stealing from Walmart.
And what happened?
He just yelled a lot. Because it was a bad time for him. The media was following him at the time, him and Kylie.
He's doing that thing where he's writing and talking but not looking away from whatever he's writing again. I want to see what he's writing, because it's clearly more important than this conversation.
Kylie is his girlfriend?
No, New Kylie is his girlfriend. Kylie was a wrestling student he had. She's dead now.
How did she die?
She killed herself.
What did you think of Kylie?
I liked her a lot more than I like New Kylie. I liked her more than Alexis too. Kylie was kind of like a big sister to me. We weren't far off in age and she looked after me a lot, when Percy wasn't around. She gave me make up and stuff, stuff that a mom would usually do for a teenage girl.. Stuff that all my friends had their mom's for, I had Kylie. For a little while, at least.
Would you say Kylie's suicide effected you?
By the time she killed herself, she was already out of my life. She was “dead to me” by then anyways.
Why?
Because she ran off with Kyzer.
Who is Kyzer?
Another wrestler. He was my dad's rival for a while. And he was Kylie's boyfriend, after she left my dad. Then Meg and Alexis moved in and Meg was dad's girlfriend. And Meg was Kyzer's ex girlfriend. And she kind of knew the relationship I had with Kylie and thought she could fill that void, by being a mother figure.. but she's not my mom.
He nods, writes something down, then looks at me, crossing his legs. That's more awkward. Go back to not looking at me.
You talk a lot about the female influences in your life. Where is your mother?
Don't know.
When was the last time you seen her?
Few years ago.
And your relationship with your mother?
Non-existent.
Why?
Because she'd rather be a junkie than a mother. She'd rather snort cocaine and drink and party all the time than take care of me. My dad might not be the best parent, but at least he has people around to make sure I'm taken care of.. and financially he can take care of me a lot better anyways. He was the one paying all of my mom's bills when I was living with her, even though all the money he gave her she used on drugs pretty much.
That's a pretty heavy accusation to make.
It's true. Drug dealers would be in and out of our house all the time. “Uncle Mike”, “Uncle Jim”, “Uncle Harry”, “Uncle Joe”. I was related to half the county as far as my mom was concerned and her parents gave birth to every race possible.
You seem content in your life now Samantha. What's changed?
Changed from when?
From your attempt.
My attempt to kill myself? Right after that my dad wrestled his last match. He gave up on wrestling. Now he's home all the time. Things feel more.. right. He helps me where he can with schoolwork now, he drives me to school sometimes instead of Percy.. he's just around a lot more now. I'm not fighting for his attention against his career.
What does your father do now?
He plays video games a lot. He's got a video game Youtube channel. I think he's going to be on Epic Meal Time next month.
What does he do for a job? Where does he work now?
He doesn't work. Wrestling paid pretty well so he doesn't have to work now.
So he just.. exists?
He's going to be at Chicago Comic Con.. I don't exactly know what he does. Why don't you ask him? I'm sure he'd have plenty to say about anything..
5/5/13
Hello once again. You’re listening to Johnny Hamilton here on Sport Radio in Essex. Our interview with Max Clifford will be broadcast at 2 PM during Footy Today, because in the studio we have a very special guest, former WFWF wrestler and champion Phillip Schneider.
You know, it’s still very odd to hear my name referred to as “former wrestler” and “former champion”. “wrestler” and “champion” were terms I had grown so accustomed to.. Several years of my life to the former.. A solid 365 days straight for the latter.
Well lets talk for a moment about the championship match where you lost your championship..
Yes, lets, because I’ve got a LOT to say. I signed a contract for Psycho Circus to face David Brennan. I started my training for David Brennan. Unlike most people on this fly by night circus of a company, I like to know who I’m facing well in advance so that I can plan my training program, physically and mentally, the full month in advance. David Brennan is a very methodical wrestler and an advanced striker. Immediately following Survival of the Fittest, I flew to Stockton, California and started sparring training with Nick and Nate Diaz. I had two of the world’s top strikers teaching me everything they knew about striking and strike defense. They weren’t doing this out of the goodness of their hearts, but rather for fairly considerable compensation. While I was one of the highest paid athletes on the WFWF roster, I put a lot of money back into myself as a property for strength and conditioning training, strike training, and any other preparation that I’d need.
What were you training for, specifically, with the Diaz Brothers?
It really doesn’t matter, long term, because the match that I signed for never happened. Instead, I was placed in a match with Mak Cross. So I had to tell the Diaz Brothers, sorry guys, I’m going to have to cut our training short. You guys can keep the money I’ve paid you for the full camp, but I’m needing to change my training for a new opponent.. And not simply Mak Cross.. But also Cam Nitta and Scarlett Quinn. And while I got several weeks of advanced knowledge for Mak Cross.. I got less for Cam and Scarlett, because they were determined by random chance in a battle royal, which they couldn’t even bring a definitive winner from. Now let’s talk for a moment about the match itself. A cage, with a roof, with scaffolds and weapons in play. A match specifically designed to neutralize my accompaniment. My licensed manager, my licensed second, my licensed corner man.. A match type designed to neutralize and eliminate them so they cannot give me the advice and help I pay them for.
You mean to interfere and cheat?
In a no disqualification match, it’s impossible to cheat. So for the second time on Pay Per View, I’m defending against three top contenders. The first time, I’m put in a position where to retain my championship I have to win two matches in one night against the three best guys in the federation. I prevail and persevere in that match. I take the one guy who I specifically had problems with, the one guy who had been running his mouth like he was being paid by the word, Hutton Brown, and I end his career.
My guest begins fiddling in the hand bag he’s brought into the studio with him. He produces an elbow pad. A slightly cracked design, bloodstained elbow pad with a large red X design on it.
I took his elbow pad. Ever see the Jean Claude Van Damm movie, Bloodsport? When you defeat, humiliate, and end someone.. You take a piece of them with you. Mentally and physically. I ended Hutton Brown, I ran Raider out of the federation and back to the retirement home and Michael Kyzer was so scared of what would happen if he stepped into the ring with me again that he blew off a championship opportunity and stayed in the back, then ran for the hills when he heard I was gunning for him still.. So despite me persevering in a four way match previously.. I get another one. How many champions in the WFWF’s past have had to defend the championship against six challengers in two matches, Johnny? Off the top of your head?
I don’t have the exact numbers in front of me, but I’m sure it’s not a high amount..
No, it’s not. Because it’s a bull s(bleep) ideology. The WFWF is so mismanaged and bungled that they can’t determine one number one contender for a championship. Well, until it’s someone with stroke.. Then it’s a one on one match..
Shawn Malakai..
Instead of promoting one on one matches to determine who is the better man, they’d rather throw four, six, fourteen, twenty six guys in a match, and then they wonder why they’re no unique matches left in the WFWF. Here’s some backstage buzz for you, Johnny. Something that I assume your listeners here in England would probably appreciate. The UK’s own Drakz was set to face me once on Revolution. Not a main event.. A mid card match. Completely throw away, no build, nothing going into it or coming out of it match. Simply because he was aligned with Michael Kyzer, who I disliked. Now while this is a “big match” it’s the exact type of booking that has put companies out of business in the past. Drakz and I have been in and around the WFWF since 2003. He entered the company about two weeks after I did. We ARE the longest tenured members of the WFWF roster, because I was headlining cards by the time Yukio Blaze showed up, he was a Heavyweight champion by that time.. You want to throw Trace Demon and Shawn Malakai out as “name guys”? They’re the top of the card, the PPV main eventers? Real talk: I gave them both their first matches. When they entered the company, I was an established enough roster member that I was put in charge of running the WFWF’s developmental center at the time.. So I’ve ranted a bit off my point.. Drakz and myself.. Instead of taking that match.. A match that could’ve happened any time between January 2004 and January 2013.. A full nine years and a little time before that.. But hadn’t. stars hadn’t aligned, different perspectives.. A match that fans would PAY to see and one of the last super matches that the WFWF can promote that really legitimately means something.. It gets thrown on free TV. I’m an intelligent business man and so is Drakz so we both in separate meetings went to the clowns at the front office and said we weren’t participating in this match. He knew as well as I did, if we’re doing a match between the two of us, it’s going to be a fight to the bitter end and it’s not the type of match you give away for free on TV. It’s the type of match you build for three months and you put on as a Pay Per View main event for the Heavyweight championship. Drakz versus Phillip Schneider is the type of match you put on as your Superbrawl main event, not as a Revolution mid card match..
You seem to have some very strong opinions about WFWF management and booking..
Yeah, I do. Because for my entire adult life, I’ve been a professional wrestler and I’ve been a professional wrestler for the WFWF. So when there’s no WFWF, there’s no Phillip Schneider. I want the WFWF to succeed and be bigger, better, and more valuable because when it is, Phillip Schneider is more valuable. Phillip Schneider with his WFWF Hall of Fame rings on both hands..
He holds up his hands. On his ring finger on both his left and right hands are WFWF Hall of Fame rings as he says.
…is more valuable. But when two (bleep)ing clowns, idiots, retards, goofs, whatever other synonym for fools you can come up with are running the company and think it’s financially viable to put an 18 year old girl as your top star.. Yeah, I get a little heated. I get a little heated because the incompetence of this company is what ran off EBR, it’s what ran off Michael Kyzer, Drakz, David Brennan.. It’s what made Meg decide it wasn’t worth trying to put OUR student through the riggers of the WFWF, because the financial reward would be minimal because the people running the company were pissing away money at every opportunity! It’s why potential top guys like Drake Elias just disappeared as quickly as they appeared. Know why? Because there were no money matches left for Drake Elias BECAUSE THEY THREW HIM AGAINST ME ON TV WHEN I WAS THE F(bleep)KING WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! Who would pay to see Drake Elias challenge for the World Heavyweight championship when they seen me pin him, clean, on TV? This is the type of absolute idiocracy and mediocrity that I dealt with on a daily basis. The grind of this company, trying to correct mistakes to protect MYSELF financially as well as protect the people around me, the people in my “inner circle”. Tommy Staxx, big fish in a small pond.. Rather than helping him develop into a top star, management throws him down a gauntlet and thinks it’s funny when he loses over and over, to the point the leaves! Percy, my best friend.. Retired former wrestler.. Had to THREATEN TO SUE the WFWF for an injury he sustained in the ring in 2006 that needed surgery, to get the money to fix his broken body. You’d think a company would notice and embrace mainstream publicity and artists who were willing to appear for the WFWF without compensation. You know how KMFDM were thanked for coming to JAPAN on their own dime, to play me to the ring? The knuckleheads in the sound booth played my previous song by Danzig, and paid Danzig the Pay Per View royalties, for my win, rather than just letting KMFDM play the song that THEY FLEW THEMSELVES TO JAPAN TO PLAY! Howard Stern.. The King of All Media.. Wouldn’t the person challenging for the WFWF National championship appearing on there be something you’d promote on your television show so that your viewers can see how big your stars are? No? How about when your WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION is on Howard Stern? Johnny, you know.. This appearance on this show.. Percy set this up. WFWF doesn’t have people in the office smart enough to realize they should book their wrestlers out to promote their localized events and the guys in the locker room don’t CARE enough to promote the company, because they’re too god damn stupid to realize if the company is worth more, they’re worth more.
Phillip, my producers are telling me we’re overdue for our quarter hourly adverts, would you like to promote the WFWF’s upcoming television programmes while you’re here?
Absolutely not! Yeah, my contemporaries are going to be in this country for an event, and you know what, they can mingle in mediocrity and wallow in the filth they’ve created and allowed management to create for them. You want me to promote something? Go buy KMFDM’s new CD, Kunst, in stores now. Advertisements that you should be seeing on WFWF TV, but they’d rather piss off an artist that gives them royalty free music as a favor to ME rather than devoting twenty seconds of their TV time to promoting his work.
And we’ll be back momentarily.. Stay with us for more Sport Radio with Johnny Hamilton.
8/15/13
What are you doing?
At this particular moment, I’m almost asleep. I’ve made it a ritual for the last four or five years, when I am ready to lay down in bed for the night, I turn on a movie. It allows me to just relax and a ninety minute movie is typically long enough to relax to sleep or close enough to sleep that when the movie is over, I am able to go to sleep. Tonight’s movie was a B-level horror “Knock Knock” with some punk and goth kids throwing a party in a warehouse that they weren’t supposed to be in because it was haunted, or something. I turned it off about ten minutes ago.. And my eyes have been closed since.. But with the female voice in my room, I open my eyes. I thought it was New Kylie.. But I’m shocked when I open my eyes and Kylie stands before me. The original Kylie. She’s standing at the end of the bed looking at me.. She looks beautiful.. Jeans and a tank top.. I can see she has a big scar on her wrist. She didn’t die?
Huh?
Or as it came out “UHHYHHH”. I’m trying to get woke up to address her..
You heard me. What are you doing?
I was sleeping.. Or trying to go to sleep..
Don’t be a smart ass, you know that’s not what I meant. You drove me away. You made me leave you.. So what are you doing? Why have you been trying to replace me since I left? Alexis.. This “New Kylie” tramp.. If I wasn’t good enough for you, why are you determined to fill the void with these new girls?
What do you know, you’re dead!
Am I?
Yes.
She brushes the hair out of her eyes and stares me down. She has a look of almost.. Evil.. In her eyes.
Am I? Look, the reason you brought me on to start with was to fill a void in your life. You thought I was going to be your girlfriend and I had none of it. You’re not my type.. But then you realized you liked taking care of me. You liked my dependence. You enjoyed teaching me things. You wanted to mold me in your image so when your days in the ring are done and trust me.. They’re coming up..
I’m the top draw of the WFWF!
Your days in the ring are coming to a close soon. You’re getting old and the injuries are piling up. And by training me.. By teaching me everything you knew.. You insured your legacy was continued. You know how fickle the WFWF is.. How quickly they forget the stars of the past. Would anyone really remember Johnny Michaels now if it weren’t for YOUR rants about him constantly? Does anyone remember Ray Smith? How about Reverend Shadow? You’re going to fall into the same breath as they do when you go. A guy who used to be a star.
No I’m not! I’m a two time Hall of Famer! I'm the best there's ever been. I held the WFWF World Heavyweight title for three hundred and sixty seven days, longer than anyone else before me!
And that and $1.50 will buy you a coke. Your legacy is fake. You've been gone for five months and despite what you'd wish, the company goes on. Seems to be thriving without you, in fact.. But through me.. You wanted to do the same thing Wayne McGurk did. You wanted a second generation star. Why didn’t you just clone what Wayne did, Phil? Why didn’t you train your daughter?
Because Samantha’s not like me.. She’s a kind person. She cares about people and she doesn’t want to hurt people..
Then why do you hurt her?
What?
Why do you hurt her? If you know she isn’t like you, why do you force her into your shadow? Why do you force her into a corner where she feels like suicide is the only way out? By embarrassing her and lambasting her.. You know what happens when someone gets constantly put on blast.. When they’re pigeonholed into being something they aren’t? They kill themselves. I did it.
But.. You’re not dead.
Yes I am.
But you’re standing right here!
Am I?
I blink. Just a blink. Something that you can’t stop your eyes from doing. One frame of vision gone from the 60 frames per second that a human eye sees.. And in that one frame of missing vision.. Kylie Olsen disappears. I stand up. I’m grasping at her. She’s not there. She was never there.. This was all a dream…
6/15/13
I find myself backstage at the WFWF and I'm a man without a country. The problem with aligning yourself with unpopular allies is that if those unpopular allies leave you then you're all on your lonesome. The Deville has never been a popular man. People either hate me for what I am or they hate me because they aren't what I am. It's a bit of a mix and match. So the Decaying Society was a natural fit for me. Not just because of F*ck You, but because without the DS, I was a man without a country. And now without with the DS, I'm a man without a country. See how that works?
With the one armed guy, the fat intellectually- disabled person, the fat actual intellectually- disabled person, the whore, that Staxx bum, and Schneider, I had a wolf pack to run with. I could swarm and do my thing and I had a protection net, because Phil's jabrons were my jabrons. Need a door slammed on someone's leg? I got a guy. Now I'm standing in the back of the building and I'm all alone. I don't even know anyone here. I mean, I know what people look like and can assume that the people walking around in their underpants and shiny boots are wrestlers.
Anything I can help you with, sir?
See, he called me sir. He doesn't even know who I am. I'm just a guy. I'm not a former WFWF Tag Team champion, a guy on paper to face off for the World title. A guy who turned this entire federation on it's ear. I'm just a guy. I'm an ex-con referee. What sense does that make? I'm there to enforce rules when I couldn't even follow them myself. I'm reformed. I'm reformed from being The Deville. Now I'm just referee Pierce: Guy.
Can you point me to check in?
Are you a wrestler? Do you have your credentials on you?
See, he doesn't know who I am enough that he's questioning if I'm a wrestler. There was a time in this company that my sly smirk would've got me anything I wanted and now this goon in slacks and a button up shirt with a hanging name tag is asking me for ID. No I'm not a wrestler, I'm just Pierce: Guy
They're in my bag, I think. I'm not a wrestler. Just a referee.
Why didn't you arrive with the rest of the referees? A whole van of them traveled here together and checked in about an hour ago.
I'm new.
Let me make a call.
He pulls out his phone and starts talking on it, but he's holding it to the side like a douche and a intellectually- disabled person. He's holding it like a whore holds cock. Want to suck that cock, douche? Douche is standing there and trying to be discreet. He keeps eyeballing me. It's like he doesn't want me to get out of his site. He's sizing me up. I'd love to just slam him against the wall and rock his world. See, this is a time when having the DS around would be helpful. I could have the fat intellectually- disabled person (The fat actual intellectually- disabled person, not Percy) grab this guy and slam him or something. Who's going to get mad at a intellectually- disabled person? He's a intellectually- disabled person, he doesn't know any better. Now let him piss his pants and eat his cheerios. But now I'm just Pierce: Guy and I'm a man without a country and without a intellectually- disabled person.
You said you worked for WFWF?
No, I just wandered in off the street with a suitcase full of wrestling crap and a referee shirt and hoped no one would notice. What kind of a dumb ass question is that? I nod to him. He's still staring at me with a dumb ass look on his face. Dumb ass asks dumb ass questions, more on this story at five. This is where the DS was nice, because the fat intellectually- disabled person, not the actual fat intellectually- disabled person, but the hobo fat intellectually- disabled person.. But not the actual hobo.. He'd handle this with business acumen and such. Hand a folder off full of paperwork and tell the lad to be on his way. But now I'm Pierce: Guy, a man without a country, a man without an actual intellectually- disabled person, a man without a intellectually- disabled person to handle things, so I'm on my own.
Yeah, I'm a referee.
That should suffice. He's still staring at me. And now he's listening to the other end of the phone again
What was your name again?
Pierce.
:Guy. Man without a country. Man without an actual intellectually- disabled person. Man without a intellectually- disabled person to handle things. Man without a jailbait looking whore to flash some leg and get things moving faster.
Last name?
Deville.
He's on the phone again. Nodding a lot. He reaches at his pocket. He's got something in his pocket that he doesn't want to take his hand off of. It's not a gun because pussies aren't allowed to carry guns and he's a cunt. **** fake rent a cop local jabron ass hole. He pulls it out. Looks like a sex toy. Some sort of baton. Is he threatening me? He hangs up his phone.
I have been informed I am to escort you off of the grounds. You do not have business at this arena tonight and are not welcome at future WFWF events.
Do what? Who'd you talk to? Call Xavier Pierce.
That's who I just got off of the phone with. Mr. Pierce has informed me that any ties with you have been severed. Said to tell a Mr. Schneider hello.
Then call Trace Demon.
The word of your unwelcomeness has come from Mr. Demon, now sir, I'd like to escort you back to your car now without a problem.
This is fucking bullshit.
Sir, the language is not needed, we're leaving the arena now.
Suck my cock. This is fucking bullshit. I'll beat your fucking ass and fucking rape you, you fucking Jew cunt mother fucker. I will fucking rape you. I will fucking rape you in the ass.
Know how they say prison changes a person? It's weird that the first thing I went to, to threaten this male, is sodomy. Don't do the crime if you can't do the time, kids. He's motioning towards the door. I kick a nearby table and flip it over. He's waving that stupid little baton around like it means something.
I'll shove that fucking baton up your fucking ass, you kike Jew mother fucker. I will fucking rape you with that fucking baton you fucking kike fuck.
And with that racist and slightly homosexual rant, I've been escorted from the building. I'm not Pierce: Guy, Man without a country, man without a intellectually- disabled person, man without an actual intellectually- disabled person, man without a whore.
Man without a job.
8/16/13
They really screwed us over, you know?
This is a conversation I knew would be coming at some point. I have friends come in and out of my life and while the relationships are hot and cold, the relationships are always there. Sometimes they are business agreements, like this one.. And business agreements between friends have a high chance of going sour. Unfortunately, this one has and it was primarily not my fault.
Do you know how much we could've charged them, but didn't as a favor to you?
I find myself sitting across from Käpt'n K, Sascha Konietzko, the lead singer of my favorite band, KMFDM. Except today he's not my friend Sascha and he's not my favorite musician. He's scorn. WFWF burnt him pretty badly.
How hard is it to plug a CD? How hard man? How hard is it to have the announcers say “KMFDM Kunst is in stores now and on iTunes”. I've watched the shows, the announcers never talk about anything relevant anyways.
I feel like a kid who's been caught red handed and dragged to the principal's office. I've got no defense, partially because the crimes for which I'm being tried for aren't my crimes at all.
Our people even sent over commercials. Not just for our album, but spots that we filmed specifically for WFWF. “This is Sascha Konietzko of KMFDM and you're watching WFWF Revolution”. Why didn't they use that, Phil? They just wasted our time and resources. I'm not going to pinch pennies, but it was money out of our pockets to do that. We filmed it, we used our blank tapes, we paid to have it Fed Exed and over nighted to WFWF, and they did absolutely nothing with it.
Meekly, I finally am able to respond.
I know
Then why didn't you do something about it?
I'm not with them any more.
But when you were with them. You liked entering to “All or Nothing” and I didn't charge them anything for using it as a favor to you. I know what those music contracts are worth. I didn't charge them anything to go to Tokyo and perform your entrance. We did it for free, as a favor to you and as a free trip to Japan. Not only did we get no pay what so ever, but we didn't even do your winning song. They played your old song over the P/A. Phil, I like you, but this is ridiculous. We've been losing money ever day we've been involved with the wrestling people.
If it makes you feel any better, they still owe me pay for the last show I did.
How is that supposed to make me feel better?
That you aren't the only one getting screwed over?
But you agreed to what you got. We agreed to certain things and we didn't get any of it. We did this as exposure for the new album and our tours. You know how many people have come up to us after shows or at record signings and said “hey, I just discovered KMFDM through WFWF”? Do you know how many? Exactly zero.
I'm sorry?
Right after It's Super Effective, for three shows, I asked the crowd, “who seen us on WFWF It's Super Effective with the King of Gore Phillip Schneider?”. Could've heard crickets. Never heard several thousand people be so quiet. No one cared about what we did man and the WFWF tried to sweep us under the rug.
I can't apologize enough..
You're right. You can't. You're welcome to come to our shows if we're in town, but beyond that... I really don't want to see you again.
Huh?
You're trouble. You are trouble. You talk about this curse stuff and I thought it was nonsense but you know what, it's true. Everything you touch turns to scheisse. I would've never got involved in the wrestling stuff if it wasn't for you and I would've been better off. I gained nothing from this relationship and I'm out financially. I'm out time. I'm out resources. Why would I continue this?
Why would you? I'm done with the WFWF...
And I'm done with you.
He reaches into his pocket, producing a $50 and throwing it on the table. $50 seems a bit excessive for a few cups of coffee.. But hey, rock star life? He quickly turns and is out the door before I can say anything else to him.
5/5/13
And we're back. This is Johnny Hamilton with here on Sport Radio in Essex, joined in the studio today by former WFWF wrestling star, Phillip Schneider. Phillip, while this afternoon's talk has been an enlightening one and has certainly given our listeners a look behind the curtain of pro wrestling, you've been dodging the most important question. Why have you left wrestling?
Outside of the idiotic, moronic, lame-brained, nimrod, short sighted goons running the company into the ground like a mismanaged Monorail?
Yes, because differences with WFWF management shouldn't mean the end of your career. There are other leagues out there.
But Johnny, a lot of what I do is based off of legacy. A lot of what I can say, it's based off of the things I've done. I could go elsewhere and tell people “yeah, I'm going to hurt you and I'm going to make what I did to Hutton Brown look like child's play” but outside of the WFWF, no one is going to know the lengths of depravity I went to, to gain my revenge on Hutton Brown. That name is greatly irrelevant elsewhere.
So why didn't you start fresh?
Because as much as I'd love to blame Trace Demon's inability to successfully run a lemon aid stand, much less a pro wrestling company.. That's not the reason. Johnny, I am not a young man any more. I'm almost thirty years old and I've been wrestling since 2003. In that time, I've fallen off of ladders, been thrown off of cages, been lit on fire.. I've broken every bone in both of my hands to the point on cold or rainy days it hurts to close a fist. I've broken both of my wrists half a dozen times. I broke my left forearm and continued to wrestle with it simply taped up. I've broken every toe at least once and the heel of both of my feet, which is why I no longer do the double stomp. I've had knee replacement surgery on both knees and the damage is still done to such a degree that I walk with a permanent limp. And I've had more concussions than I can count. You know when they say “well, my bell just got rang”. That's a concussion. That's damage to the brain.
Concussions are all the buzz right now in the American football. We've covered a bit of it here on this programme.
Fifteen years ago, doctors weren't concerned with the long term effects of concussions because they had absolutely no idea what the long term effects of a concussion WERE. Now with wrestlers dropping dead like we were going extinct, football players becoming vegetables, and other pro athletes feeling the effects, the organizations have begun to crack down, but frankly, it's too little too late. I've been hit in the head hundreds of times. I've banged my head off the mat taking simple bumps THOUSANDS of times. And there are days when I feel the effects. I've forgotten my address before. I can't remember phone numbers at all. When I was with my ex girlfriend, I forgot her name at one point. This is a girl I've known for ten years and I completely forgot her name. I just stared at her. I forgot what I was going to say because it started with her name and I couldn't remember her name. This is a horrifying reality and a real cost that I, the person behind the entertainer, now have to pay for the years of entertainment I've provided.
So the injuries have taken a toll?
It's to the point where it would simply be irresponsible of me to climb between the ropes. I have two young daughters. They depend on me as their sole provider, because both of their mothers simply cannot provide for them. My older daughter is very independent and looks after her sister a lot, but the fact remains she's still a kid and she needs a father a lot more than a wrestling company needs a performer. The WFWF will survive without “The King of Gore” but Samantha Schneider will not without her father.
That's something else I'd like to talk about, if there's time..
Go ahead..
The King of Gore.. Unfortunately my performances in the ring did become a hit. Once you release Freebird, no one wants to see “Gods and Guns” and to me, my greatest hits were spectacles of blood letting, crimson, and macabre. When people turned on the Phillip Schneider show, they expected to see blood, violence, and gore. When I returned to WFWF, I tried my best to distance myself from it. I took on a new gimmick and a new name. I wasn't “The King of Gore Obo” any more. I never called myself Obo, at all, by design. I didn't want to be “The Heretic Hero Obo” any more. I wanted to be the wrestler, Phillip Schneider. But somewhere along the way, I got dragged into the blood and violence and broken glass and pretty soon, almost every match seen me stabbing someone with barbeque skewers or a needle or bringing broken glass into play. I could blame WFWF management for booking me in matches like no rope barbed wire matches, ladder matches, and a Psycho Circus cage with weapons hanging from the roof, but the fact is I made the decisions to bring the instruments of destruction into my act. I could've been the lame Gallagher and just told jokes about the things women say, but I wanted the big pop from the crowd, so time and time again I brought that giant hammer on stage and I smashed that melon. And you can't just smash the melon. You've got to give the people the full splatter show. So you smash the mustard. You smash the cottage cheese. You hit the lettuce. You throw a bucket of water into the crowd and pretty soon what you're doing doesn't even resemble comedy at all any more. It's just a spectacle. What does slamming someone on cinder blocks have to do with pro wrestling, Johnny?
Not a whole lot..
But that's my act. That's why I was there. And as I got involved in increasingly violent stipulation matches.. The barbed wire, the broken glass, the razor blades.. All it did was accelerate the car crash that was going to end my career. Rather than slowing down and wrestling a more technical style that wouldn't do the long term damage to my body, I was falling off of a cage onto a chair covered in razor blades, because dammit, I'm the King of Gore! I'm the Prophet of Ash, I'm the Heretic Hero!
Why didn't you just stop doing the violent matches? You yourself said, no one forced you to bring needles and skewers into your act..
No, no one held a gun to my head and said “if you don't stab your opponent with three different blunt objects tonight, we're going to shoot you in the face” but the fact is, really violent matches were my niche. They were the one thing that set me apart. I can do violence better than anyone before me or anyone that will come after me. My brain works in a different way than most people's. I can think of things to do with things that most people would never think to bring into a wrestling match that horrifies people. Most people look at an ink pen and see an ink pen. I see something to stab someone with. “The darkest souls are not those which choose to exist within the Hell of the abyss, but those which choose to break free from the abyss and move silently among us.”. Don't you understand, to exist, this is my purgatory. This is my Hell. I either do what the devil says, or I no longer exist in this world. At some point for my own well being, I just have to accept that I no longer exist in this world.
So just like that, you're done? Psycho Circus will be the final match of Phillip Schneider's career?
When I left before, I didn't get a big final match. I think the last match I had before was a TV match and an angle setting up for a PPV. Then there was a post on the website that said I was gone and Yukio was taking my spot in the PPV and that was that. That's not how I wanted to end my career. That's not the final chapter of my legacy. I returned to the WFWF to finish my career. I think what I ultimately accomplished.. Being the first person to pin Michael Kyzer's shoulders to the mat in a WFWF ring.. To win the WFWF World Heavyweight championship.. which I held on to for three hundred and sixty seven days, longer than anyone has ever held that title in one reign and likely longer than anyone ever will hold it.. I think that is a good way to end my career. I think the fact that this time, I could go out on top. My face was on the PPV poster and the tickets were sold to see Phillip Schneider on my final night. I didn't go out on bad terms. Trace knows I'd stand and piss my pants just to laugh at him while he burned rather than whip my dick out and piss on him to save his life, but for the most part, those differences were behind us. But how do you end a career? Do you work like Zmaster? Zmaster is someone I used to look up to, but frankly, looking at him no a days I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassed that he continues to shame his legacy. He's over stayed his welcome and he's outlived his shelf life. No one ever seems to really retire in wrestling and the ones who do don't ever do it with dignity. So rather than having an elaborate in ring retirement and stand in the ring, crying like Lou Gehrig.. I just went away. I kept my dignity, I have no shame. I went out on top and I just walked away.
And for today, we're walking away. Phillip, I'd love to have you on again at a later date because I feel like we're just scratching the surface of the Phillip Schneider story, but for today, we're out of time. This has been Johnny Hamilton on Sports Radio Essex, stay tuned for Footy Today.
8/20/13.
I've just got Saints Row 4 for my Xbox. Well, “Mark Holsden” did. In my secluded life, I've taken on an alias for even ordering things online. As I open the cardboard box and excitedly peel the cellophane wrapping and crack the stickers on it, it's a familiar happiness. I can be called materialistic, but getting new video games brings me a certain level of happiness I'm sure can only compare to the high of a drug addict. The release of positive endorphins. I excitedly insert the disc into my Xbox and begin to play.
I don't get far into the game before I start to get a headache. I think it's this candle. It's soy and has a very strong scent. I pause my game and get up, blowing the candle out and putting the lid on it, before resuming my game. I'm sprawled out on my bed, elbows on two pillows, in my comfy pants playing a new game. This is my good place. This is where good things happen. This is what I've earned from years of abusing my body, the right to just sit back, relax, and play video games when I want to. This is the best I could've ever dreamed of when I was a kid out of life. But this headache, It's just getting worse.. I have to stop playing. It's a brutal back of the eye headache. It feels like someone is pressing their fingers into my brain through my eye sockets. I save my game, turn off my Xbox and head into the kitchen.. I need a drink. And now I've got a stomach ache. A horrible stomach ache. It feels like I've just had my stomach stomped.
And without hesitation, the contents of my stomach flow forwards through my neck and out of my mouth. I have enough time to get over the kitchen sink but not much more. It's projectile vomiting. Everything in my stomach empties out into the sink with a mighty thud and a splatter. I've caused such a calamity that Samantha comes down.
Are you drunk?
I open my mouth to attempt to respond to my daughter, but no words come out. Only chunks of partially digested Subway BMT with a unique Dr. Pepper gravy. I'm regretting the jalapenos and pepperjack cheese at this point. Samantha tries to check on me, but backs up as another huge wave of vomit flows outwards. She's nice enough to turn on the hot water and the garbage disposal, all while covering her face to avoid smelling my filth. She backs away and stands at the opening to the kitchen, observing as a five.. five dollar.. five dollar foot long is projectile ejected from my body. With the contents of my stomach emptied, I huck a few dry heaves and then fall to the floor, collapsing to my knees. It's then and only then that Samantha is willing to approach and check on me.
What is wrong with you??
I try to focus on Samantha but my vision is blurred. I can't see straight. I'm looking right at her and am only seeing a ghostly shape. It's like my vision is extending far beyond what my eyes truly see, by about twice the height. Everything is a blur. I feel her hands grab my face. I can feel my head rocking, trying to compensate for the spinning in my head.. The room is all spinning to the left so I'm spinning to the right. Samantha is the only thing stopping me from hitting the tile floor. She's holding me with one hand now.. I can hear her clearly. She's talking to someone.
My Dad needs help! He just started throwing up and now he's about to pass out... I don't know what's wrong. We need an ambulance. He needs help right now. Our address is 1520 North Naper Boulevard. In Naperville. Okay, I'm on the line. I'm holding him.. He's having a seizure I think, he's shaking back and forth.. Please hurry..
You know how death is always described as a flash of white light? I think that's only for the good people. I think a flash of white light as the heavenly gates open is only for the good and righteous of the world. Because as I laid in my daughter's arms, I didn't get the flash of white light.. My blurred vision turns dark. Darker. Darker. It's like someone's messing with the settings on the TV in my head. Finally I'm just turned off. No sound. No picture. Phillip Schneider has clocked out.
I wake up. I wake up in a cold sweat. It's dark outside and my lights are off, but my room is still illuminated by a slightly darkened Xbox 360 screen. You know the screen saver, when you pause for a long time? Yeah, that. I apparently fell asleep at some point while playing Xbox and had a realization of mortality. I rise from my bed and look around. New Kylie is sound asleep in the chair. She's taken to sleeping in the chair lately. You know how the first few months with a new girlfriend, everything is amazing, she's the coolest girl you've ever met and everything is great in life? Try six months into a relationship. Sex is not as often and isn't an amazing experience any more. Now it's “how can we make this interesting again”. You've heard all of their stories and jokes and they've heard all of your's. If you are never apart, you have no stories to talk about and since March, we've rarely been apart. I don't travel for wrestling any more and she has no where to be at all.
Recently I've really been questioning why this relationship even “works”. Why I've taken to supporting this girl, who shows herself to be cold more often than not. She's not a mate. She's not a partner. She's a toy. She's an expensive subscription based toy. Xbox live costs about $20 a month. She costs about $200 a month. Still cheaper than a prostitute and since she never leaves anywhere, I know I'm not going to catch anything from her.. But it's particularly hard to catch anything when I never touch her any more. The new toy isn't fun any more.
I first met this girl when I was building the Decaying Society. She was interesting. She fit the mold of what I had in mind and feeding and clothing her could be written off as a business expense. That's how I treated The Decaying Society. They weren't friends. They weren't colleges. They were a tax write off. They were a business expense and they were tools for me to get from point a to point b. And if those tools broke, well.. I'd replace them. And I'd keep all of the receipts.
But now, now I'm not really doing anything and neither is she. As I fight this inner debate, my physical being interjects itself into the argument, approaching the sleeping girl and shaking her. It's an out of body experience again. I can see myself doing this, but I'm on cruise control. I'm shaking her.
Get up. Get up right now.
She groggily and grumpily awakens from her slumber. She rubs her eyes and looks at me confused. I'm still shaking her even though she's awake.
We're going to pack up the things that belong to you.. and then you're leaving.
Where are we going?
We're not going anywhere. You're going.
Going where?
To leave.
Leave where?
She's risen up from the couch and seems to be fully awake now though not fully aware of what's going on. I can't fault her for that because I can't say I'm fully in control here either. I'm just rolling with it, letting my gut tell me what to do. And my gut right now says that I don't want to pay any more money to maintain this girl, that I want her out of my house right now. That I can go on eBay and buy a fleshlight for about $50 and jerk off and get a better effect than what she's providing.
My life. I'm done with you.
The fuck you talkin' bout?
I don't want to fuck you any more, I don't want to see you any more, get out of my house, get out of my life. Pretty clean and dry there.
I'm pregnant.
No you're not.
Yes I am. I'm pregnant with your baby.
You dumb fucking whore, you just had your period last week. I seen the bloody tampon, you lying fuck. Get the fuck out of here. Send me a post card with your address, I'll mail you your shit.
Fed up with this whore. Get her out of my life, now. Trust is the foundation of any relationship and when I'm already tired of you, lying is the worst thing you could do. Especially lying about something like being pregnant. I grab her by the shoulders and am walking her to the door
I'll go to the press, I'll tell them everything! I'll tell them you used me for sex!
And that just makes you look like a whore.
I'll tell them you do drugs.
And that just makes you look like a lying whore.
I'll tell them you hit me. I'll ruin your career, Phillip Schneider!
What career?
I push her out the door and slam it behind her. Good day and good riddence.
9/13/13
You don't know what you got, till it's gone..
It's incredibly cliched but it's something I'm really and truthfully beginning to understand. I was familiar with the lifestyle of a WFWF wrestler. I'd traveled the roads and been on the shows for a few years myself, but when my best friend in life, Phillip Schneider, told me he was going back to the WFWF and wanted me to handle the role I essentially handled while we were a team, to be his accounts and travel manager. You know, to book his hotels, make sure he's got food and drinks on the road, check out his rental cars.. Be his babysitter basically.. When he told me he wanted me to take on that role I was a pessimist. I had been gone from the WFWF since 2006 and I had moved on with my life. I had a few nagging injuries that required surgeries. The WFWF, under the Kyzer and Drakz regime, were nice enough to pay for those, but they left me in no condition to perform at a high level ever again. Namely my back, completely shot.. And the after effects.. Prescription drugs are a son of a b**ch.
But in November 2010, I had a unique opportunity presented to me. I was making decent money at the time working as IT for a somewhat shady overseas company.. When Phil approached me about becoming his lackey again, I turned him down. Why would I give up my job for THAT? He offered to match my pay, with a 25% boost. Why would I go back to all the traveling?? He negotiated me a WFWF contract on top of the deal with him, so they'd be paying me to travel to the events and to appear on the shows.. Significantly less than a wrestler's contract, but significantly more than I was truthfully worth because I wasn't doing anything for the company exactly. So in December 2010.. alongside my best friend.. I returned home.
You know what it's like to ride the wave, and when you can just sit back and watch as anarchy unfolds before your very eyes? I do. I watched a man who had been away from the WFWF for almost three years walk through the front door, say he was there to take over.. And do exactly that. I watched my best friend re-enter the company and for eighteen months, he went without a pin fall or submission defeat. December 2010 to June 2012.. Every single person he stepped into the ring with, he handed losses to. And yes, that includes Trace Demon, that includes Mak Cross, Hutton Brown, and Scarlett Quinn, because each of those people were only able to best him on their SECOND attempt..
I watched Phillip Schneider say really outrageous things and then back them up. I mean, how often do people say in wrestling “I'm going to hurt you, I'm going to end your career”? It's every week. It's said so often that no one even believes it any more, but he did it. He did it to Hutton Brown. TWICE. He said at Superbrawl that win, lose, or draw.. Hutton would never be the same and he wasn't.. He left for his sabbatical shortly after that encounter and when they tangled again, Phil said he was going to be the death of Hutton Brown, that he was going to end Hutton's career. I watched the move. Beverly Kills 90210, off the top rope, to the floor.. with a steel guard rail, some steel chairs, and a pane of glass as the only things stopping Hutton's head from splattering on concrete like a watermelon at a Gallagher concert.
I watched this all happen first hand, and from a better perspective than most anyone else in the world besides Phil himself. And as quickly as this freight train, this juggernaut started.. It stopped.
It all stopped.
The show's over, you can all go home now.
So your career is over?
Phil has been reluctant to address this at all. It's been the elephant in the room for the last few months. I've asked in considerable less blunt ways over the past few weeks and I've never got a straight answer. Now I feel like I have to get to the bottom of this.
You know the WFWF has been calling lately, right? Asking when you'll be ready to come back? I just got off the phone with someone from the office this morning. They want you to return for the Halloween show, even if it's not wrestling, even if it's just a one off appearance.
I'm not interested.
Why?
Because I'm not.
So you're done with wrestling?
And he's went silent on me again. He's not even looking at me. He's just sitting, staring at the TV. The TV isn't even on. He's just staring blankly at his oversized TV.
You're still a young man. You're in the prime of your career. This is the time in your career when you're making “the big money”. Remember when we were in pointless tag team matches, you always said you needed five years on top, making “the big money” to retire. Now when you get to “the big money”, you're a top draw for the WFWF, you're the longest reigning Heavyweight champion in history.. Now you just walk away? You're willing to leave money on the table like that, when you've easily got three, maybe four years left on you? I'm not saying you should go on the house show circuit and work three times a week, and I'm not saying you need to be working every TV, but when they're offering you the kind of money they are just to come on the Halloween show and say “I'm the King of Gore, Happy Halloween” or however you want to paraphrase it, you're a fool for just ignoring them. You wouldn't even have to fly. They're in Cleveland. We could drive. We could head in there a day early, go see the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, do the deal with WFWF, and come home.
I'm not going
Why?
Because there's nothing left for me with the WFWF. There's no one left for me to beat. No mountain I can't climb, no tower to high.. Trace Demon? Two wins over him.. Mak Cross, Cam Nitta, ...Scarlett Quinn? I've beat them all. The “big money matches”, the stars of the past.. Michael Kyzer, Zmaster.. beat them, made them look a fool. Should I care about the titles? I've held the World title twice and for the second time, longer than anyone ever has. And I wasn't pinned to lose it. Tag Team titles? Three times. International title? Twice.
You've never held the National title.
And I don't care. The National title is a meaningless hunk of metal anyways.
What about the current rising stars, the guys you haven't faced? Jason Garrett, Dex, Dave Demanto.. You know they're going to be talking soon, saying “I'm better than anyone in the past, including Schneider” and unless you've beaten them, you'll have no proof to the contrary.
I literally do not know anyone who you just named. There's a person named Dex? Like, Pokedex?
Making little jokes don't change the matter. Your legacy isn't going to last forever. I've seen your DVR, you still watch the show.. Skimming to see if you're mentioned. You're not mentioned any more, are you? You know your web browser saves your search results. How many times have you searched “WFWF Schneider” “WFWF Obo” “Phillip Schneider” and “Schneider Wrestling” in the past few months? Your ego CAN'T let you just walk away. You know there's money to be made and you know you're better than most of the current roster. You know you could walk in there, easily knock off Scarlett for the title, and possibly break your own record. You said it yourself, you've beat Scarlett.
And what would it prove to do it again? I beat up a hundred thirty pound girl, big deal. There's nothing left for me, man.
What about Drakz?
What about Drakz?
You threw a pretty big fit when they were going to throw you versus Drakz on TV unadvertised for free. “It's never been done before, this is one of the last big matches from this era of WFWF” you said.. And yet here we are, six months? Seven months? Later and we've seen no Drakz versus Schneider match up.
Drakz is retired. Kyzer hurt him.
Yeah, because wrestling retirements are serious..
Your's was.
So I'll ask this again, you're really retired from wrestling? Out and out done?
And just like that, he's went mute on me again. He's just staring at the turned off TV again.
11/16/13
Saturday nights are kind of void of television. TV producers assume everyone is out drinking or partying or whatever and make a choice to not put any real first run programming on Saturday nights. Sunday has become a hotbed for first run programming, with Walking Dead, Breaking Bad, and Game of Thrones all taking that slot, but Saturdays are a void. Which is how I've found myself watching WFWF Revolution.
Pro wrestling is very much a Hotel California. You can check out whenever you want, but you can never leave. Even though I left the WFWF, I've been paying attention to it to an extent. I watch the shows and read the website.. People still tag me in WFWF related stuff on Twitter so I'm aware of the circumstances. I feel like it's the same as when I left in 2008. I still followed the federation for a solid six months before I finally decided that yes, I was gone and no, I did not care about what was happening any more.
The show has been rather uneventful so far. Three guys I didn't know were in a three way and then Reverend Shadow stole a rat. Rev always was a fan of rats. Yukio Blaze is in a three way with two more guys I don't know. I suppose I haven't been paying as much attention to this as I originally liked to project. Even while watching this show, I find myself drifting in and out of the show, fiddling with my phone or organizing papers rather than actually watching the show. It's background noise for the most part. Faces blur on and off of the screen in what seems like fast forward speed. Some I recognize, most I don't.My attention refocuses on the screen with Trace Demon in ring. He's babbling on and on and not really saying anything.
Trace Demon: All of you know that whenever I step in this ring I make a statement, I do things that make you all sit up on the edge of your seats and watch because you know you’ll never forget what you’re seeing. But this shouldn’t only apply to what I do in this ring; I realized this week that the one thing this company has been missing behind the scenes is my attitude inside this ring. This company needs to be making an impact every single week, it needs to be getting people talking every opportunity it gets and that is exactly what I do in this ring, so from now it’s exactly what I’ll do outside of it as well. And what better way to start that off than by proving that I know what’s best for business and that I do everything it takes to achieve that.
He knows what's best for business so much that he let his top star walk away without so much as a text message.
Trace Demon: So I’m betting the question you’re all asking yourself is what could Trace Demon have possibly done in the past week that would get oh so many people talking. And the question I ask is are you all insane? I’m Trace Demon! What couldn’t I do?
Alecia Matthews: Certainly not lacking in confidence this owner of ours.
Samael Ahriman: Or madness, he’s not lacking in madness either.
Or stupidity. He's got plenty of stupidity.
Trace Demon: So we need to start with a bang right? If I’m going to make this a must watch show each and every week we can’t start with a half measure. So earlier this week I announced exactly how I’m going to do it – by bringing back one of the stars of this company, a man each and every one of you know. A man that I know all too well. Me and him have had our problems in the past but truth be told I’ve always respected him because he’s a crazy son of a bitch who kicks ass and quite clearly… I can relate. He’s a man who has achieved everything this company has to offer, a man who has headlined pay per views, won titles and made history defining moments in this very ring. He is one of the very few men who has taken me to my limit and I couldn’t think of many other men I’d rather have back in this company than this man…
Is it bad that in his inane babbling, the only thing that really stuck with me is that the word “bitch” is now censored on WFWF TV? Trace Demon has a way about him to say a lot of words but not really say anything and I feel like that's what he's doing here. After all his pomp and circumstance, out walks some guy. This is probably going to be like when Wez Vendetta returned and because his name was in very old results he was assumed to be a big deal to be returning, but the harsh reality is he sucked then and he sucked when he returned. Is that him? I'll laugh if this hobo looking dude is Wez Vendetta.
Alecia Matthews: Well so much for Trace Demon's business changing announcement. Who is this bum?
Samael Ahriman: I'm not....Maybe....
Alecia Matthews: There better be a good explanation for this.
Samael Ahriman: Wait I've got it! That's....
Some Man: Drakz. If you're all wondering who this man before you is, it's Drakz.
Confused dog head tilt
Drakz: I may not look as you remember me, but that's because for the most part I'm not. It's been just over a year since I last stood in this ring, and that last time I had the tag team title in my hand and a victory over Raider moments previous. Things took an unexpected turn immediately after that.... But I'm not here to talk about that. What I am here to talk about is the proposition laid out to me by the other man in this ring. Trace Demon. As you are all aware myself and Trace have a, shall we say, troubled past together, but Trace like a man was able to put all of this to one side and make a clear headed business decision. He came to me whilst I was still in a bad way, still on very shaky legs, and told me if and when I was ready to do so I still had a place here in the company. Well here I am. It's fair to say perhaps not in the best condition of my life, but I'm still here, broken back and all.
Alecia Matthews: That fall broke his back? Jesus.
Drakz: I'm here and I'm here to fight. Not for revenge or retribution, that can wait. I'm here to fight for fightings sake. I can't enter the Scars & Stripes battle royal as I've won it before......albeit I never got my title shot. Again that comes later. So I got to thinking what have I never done? I've won every title this company has to offer making me one of only 6 Grand Slam Champions. I've won the International Title not once but twice, and I was never defeated for the Heavyweight Championship. I'm in the Hall of Fame, hell I even ran this company once upon a time. What is there left for me to do? Well it came to me that there are still people I haven't beaten, people I haven't even had the chance to get in this ring with one on one. That's what I plan to do this time, that's my goal and it starts at Scars & Stripes. I'm personally going to drag people out of the ether, out of retirement, for the oppurtunity we never had the first time around. And what better way to start this mission of mine than to go straight to the man who has come so close to fighting me on so many occasions. What more could the millions of fans around the world ask for than to see me face a man who started in this company at the same time as me, rise the ranks like me and then go on to become the longest reigning Heavyweight Champion of all time? At Scars & Stripes I'm offering an open challenge to the Prophet of Ash, the King of Gore, the cursed....and currently on hiatus....Phillip Schneider.
He's back for five minutes and he's already calling me out. Because the first thing I'd do after returning from a broken back is challenge the most dangerous man in WFWF history...
Samael Ahriman: My God! What an announcement! Two legends of the company returning for Scars & Stripes!
Yeah? You think so?
Alecia Matthews: Do you think Drakz looks up to it though? He's lost a fair bit of weight these last 12 months. I mean most people in here didn't even recognise him just now.
Samael Ahriman: I was in that match Drakz mentioned 12 months ago and having wrestled this guy before I can assure you he'll be ready if he's openly announced something of this magnitude.
Drakz: Schneider I know you're watching somewhere, and I know you want this as much as I do, so make sure you're there on the night. Your contract may be done but we've got the owner's backing, so there are no excuses. It's about time we did this.
Sir yes sir. You say jump, I say
off.
12/15/13
The cliffhanger from Revolution did something right. Drakz' promo sold at least one buy for the Scars and Stripes Pay Per View. I think this is the first time I've ever ordered a WFWF Pay Per View. Before working for them, I didn't have the money to waste on a wrestling PPV and after I left in 2008, I didn't care enough to actually order the shows. I only took the DVDs of the PPVs for my personal library of matches and now those are gone too. Most of the show has been uneventful, filled primarily with people I don't know, but I'd be lying if I claimed I was even halfway paying attention. I've mostly been watching stuff on Youtube. Sup Wreckless Eating? But my attention is drawn back to the screen, to the ring, where Christa Adina stands with a microphone in hand.
Christa Adina: The following match up is set for one fall and is a one time only WFWF dream match. Introducing first....
There's a dramatic pause. This is usually when entrance music hits. Should they be hitting my music? I dare you, hit “All or Nothing”, you'll have a lawsuit so fast it'll make your head spin from Tim Skold and/or KMFDM records. You think Tim Skold is amused by wrestling nonsense? Drakz comes out onto the stage. He's storming down the ramp with a look on his face look someone just raped his mother, recorded it, then sent him the video. And he hasn't bothered to actually dress for this match. Or maybe that's what he's wrestling in now. With the hobo beard, I wouldn't be surprised if he's wrestling in jeans and a t-shirt. Cut the jeans off and find a flannel shirt, Drakz, then you can steal Los Hobos gimmick out and out. He heads to the announce table and grabs a microphone, then rolls under the bottom rope and into the ring.
Alecia Matthews: Well this is unexpected. Why's he avoiding the ring?
Tabitha Owens: He seems to want to get something off his chest.
Drakz: So it seems ladies and gentlemen that Philip Schneider doesn't deem my challenge worthy of gracing us with his prescence.
Why is he saying my name funny? Is this a cool wHip scenario? Why is he only enunciating one of the Ls in Phillip? The crowd shares my anger in his false enunciation, booing ruthlessly.
Drakz: It strikes me that he's sulking, locked in his room with his Avril Lavigne CD playing full blast. Ever since his streak was broken by a girl he's dropped off the radar completely and by the looks of things he's not coming back, even if it's for something I know he holds in high esteem. I'm well aware of how much he wants this match but it seems he prefers hiding his head in the sand to having it driven into the mat these days.
Seems my head stands high and December in Chicago is too cold to be anywhere near a beach.
Drakz: I know, I know. How things have changed. The Obo of old would have jumped at the opportunity to get his ass kicked.
It amuses me when people stick to an old name, even without realizing what the three letters forming the acronym they're saying even mean. I was Obo for a little bit over three years. There's three letters that more accurately describe me now, WFWF. G-O-D.
Alecia Matthews: If Schneider's watching he won't be happy about this. Drakz is making fun of his legacy while he's not here to defend it.
Drakz: So it seems you won't be seeing me return to the ring tonight, which is as much a let down to myself as it is to you all. However I will be issuing an open challenge on the next Revolution to any superstar on the roster, or otherwise, to step up and take a match with me at the next Pay Per View, which of course is the big one. That which needs no naming.
Superbrawl. Way to promote the brand.
Tabitha Owens: An open challenge? This could be a chance for some of the new guys here to set their selves in the history books.
Alecia Matthews: Absolutely, it's well documented that Drakz has won match of the year a number of times. Win lose or draw this match could really put his opponent on the map.
Tabitha Owens: Can you imagine if they beat him? Now seems as good a time as ever as we all know from last week that Drakz is coming back off of a serious back injury.
Yeah, it'd be great if he made all this hype and was dropped by someone he never seen coming.
Drakz: So until then.....
He throws the microphone. That's a fine. I drift back off to focusing on things other than the show I paid so dearly to watch. But now I'm focusing on something much more important. I grab my phone and quickly dial Percy.
Hey Perce, you know anywhere to buy a gas mask?
Have you checked Amazon? Amazon has everything.
I haven't checked anywhere. I just know I need a gas mask.
I've been around you long enough that I'm not even going to bother to ask why. I'm at my computer right now so I'll search it up myself. …... I see an Israeli Civilian Gas Mask with Nato Filter for $28.25, a Bud K Russian gas mask with filter and bag for $9.49, a...
What color is the $9.49 one?
White with a gold end thing.
What color is the $28.95 one?
Black.
Order the black one, with overnight shipping. Use my Prime account.
Alright, now I feel like the responsible thing to do is to ask.. Why do you need a gas mask in a hurry?
Don't worry about it.
I am worried about it. I'm worried that I am going to be implicated in whatever you're planning on doing with this gas mask, by ordering it.. My IP address is going to be logged on this purchase.
It's nothing particularly illegal.
I'll take your word for it.. It's ordered. Says it'll be delivered Tuesday.
Tomorrow is Monday. That's not overnight.
It's like 10 PM dude. You missed the overnight time. Whatever you're planning, you should've planned it sooner.
Whatever, it's fine. I'll talk to you in the morning. Gonna watch the end of this show.
Later..
3/4/14
Sam got her learner's permit a month ago and I haven't been out driving with her yet. Part of it is due to the winter we've been having. The layers and layers of snow and ice on the roads haven't been the kind of roads you want to go driving on at all, much less if you're just learning to drive. But that hasn't stopped her from getting a feel for the wheel. On the first weekend when I smacked the little dog Drakz and put him in his place, Samantha was driving around the empty school parking lot with Percy. For a half hour, apparently. Then again for another half hour around and round the parking lot, from one lot to another lot, then onto the backroads home. I suppose you could give me absentee father of the year award, because while I've been taking back my throne, my daughter has been learning to drive with my best friend.
She got home from school at three today. I sent her a text to be ready to go out driving. The last big storm didn't hit us hard. A wave of ice and freezing rain that's all gone now and minimal snow. She barely made it in the door and we were out again. She dropped off her backpack, I handed her the keys, and we were gone. She climbed into the driver's seat and moved my seat up.
Good day at school today?
I suppose. Kailyn fell in the hallway today. Tripped over her own two feet.
We're kind of jerky as we back up. Start, then stop, then start. We're turned. Into drive.. And down the drive way.
Derek was asking a bunch of stuff about your wrestling.
Who's Derek?
He's Kailyn's boyfriend.
Who's Kailyn?
She sighs, rolls her eyes and rolls her head as she does so, and turns on the turn signal. As we're turning, she awkwardly accelerates, then breaks. The process leads to a harsh shake. But we're gaining speed again and we're on the road. There's a thick silence in the car as we drive.
So what was Derek saying?
Stuff. Just wanted to know what was going on. He's been a wrestling fan for a while. I told him I didn't know anything.
What kind of stuff?
Just about you returning. About Chaemo. About Drakz..
She flips on the turn signal and we're off for another jerky stop and go turn and some swerving into the middle of the road.
Why are you turning like that?
Like what?
Like that. You're jerking it back and forth. Turn with the palm of your hand, and when you get turned, let go and let the steering wheel turn itself. It won't be so wobbly that way.
Okay.
Almost on cue, we turn again and she's holding the steering wheel tight. I give her a look and she lets go, then puts her right palm back on the wheel. We turn again and this time it's a fairly smooth turn.
That's better.
How long are you going back for?
What?
How long are you going back for? To WFWF. Is it just for Superbrawl?
I don't know.
Why are you going back? Is it for the money? Do we need the money? I can get a part time job to pay for my clothes and stuff. McDonalds is hiring. I could go work a few hours every day after school and on the weekends.
There's no need for that. I can support you.
By wrestling.
That's what I do.
She flips on the turn signal and we make a turn. She turns a little bit into the other side of the road, but we wobble and are back on our side of the road.
That's what I've always done.
And what are you going to do, when you can't wrestle any more? You know, if you get hurt or something. Or just get older. You can't walk half the time. Your shoulder pops out of place constantly. Your neck makes a horrible sound.. Your knees are hideous.
I'll figure it out. You're fifteen. It's not up to you to pay your own bills..
I'm just saying, I probably should. Your money from wrestling isn't going to last forever. And I don't want you to go back to wrestling.
So you're going to pay your own bills? Going to go get a part time minimum wage job and somehow afford rent, electricity, phone bill, food.. all on your own?
I'd like to help out...
She's losing acceleration. And she's swerving. She's gripping the steering wheel very tightly. She swerves right, then left to compensate and clips a mailbox.
Watch what you're doing! Not going to have you wrecking this car!
I am watching what I'm doing....
You just hit a mailbox!
You're making me nervous...
She flips on her right turn signal. We're no where near where she needs to turn.
What are you doing?
I'm going to park. You can drive back home..
Why?
Because I don't want to learn to drive any more.
Come on Sam.
She pulls into the parking lot and we slow down. She undoes her seat belt. She won't look at me.
Keep driving.. you're not going to learn without making mistakes.
You need to quit yelling at me. I'm not a little kid any more Dad.
You don't need to get a job.
I don't want you to wrestle any more. Just call it quits.. Retire. If Zmaster can retire, you can.
It's not that simple..
You've been retired for the last year and you've been perfectly happy. Then some guy says your name on TV and suddenly you're Mr. Olympia, training like Rocky and ready to come back? Why? Does your pride matter to you THAT MUCH that you couldn't just blow him off all together? Let him say whatever he was going to say? Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt? Do you really have to show everyone what you can do with your sticks and stones?
Samantha, this is my legacy..
I AM your legacy. I am going to be around a hell of a lot longer than the WFWF and whatever I do in MY LIFE will be forever connected to you. If I go on to be a doctor, I'll be Doctor Schneider, Phillip Schneider's daughter. If I'm the most famous musician in the word, the opening line in my Wikipedia will be a link to your's. The best I can even hope to do is get married and ditch your name.
She opens the door and hops out.
You can drive the car home. I'll figure out my own way there. See you at home. Or maybe not.
Sam, wait...
She's already pulled out her phone and is dialing someone as she walks away. She either can't hear me or is ignoring me but the fact remains, I'm alone in this parking lot. Abandoned.
There are times where I really don't like myself. This isn't a set up line or something to a promo. There are times when I'm left alone with my own mind where I really don't like me. I don't like the person I am. And when I'm in this place, all alone, there's nothing I can do but loathe myself and bask in my self angst. There are times when I look in the mirror and I absolutely hate the person looking back at me.
This has been a running trend for most of my life, these moments of self hate. It's something I've learned to deal with and accept, “today's a day where I suck”. It's the polarity that comes with the fame, fortune, and celebrity. But if I was given the opportunity, I think I'd trade all of that for a balance. Because these times where I don't like me.. sometimes they don't just go away. Sometimes they last for days at a time and I go to a dark place. And I don't want to see people. I don't want to bring them into my dark place. I don't want them to see me in my dark place.
The weird thing about being back is suddenly I'm right back into the fold. I'm being contacted by people left and right looking for something for nothing from me. Most of them I turn down. Why should I give a damn what you're doing? But one in particular stuck out to me. Cameron Stone. You know, the guy who's an announcer now? He got a hold of me via Twitter before he even realized I was the one messing with Drakz and I blew him off, because I didn't want to show my hand. But now that the cat's out of the bag, I'm willing to at least listen to what he has to say.
I told him to meet me at this McDonalds. I don't like to go to more discreet meeting locations because it's harder to just get up and walk away if things go south. I'm sitting back sipping a chocolate covered strawberry latte. Strawberries and coffee do not go together. I'm sitting kind of near the door because the truth is, I really don't remember what Cameron Stone looks like. He says I wrestled him in one of his first matches in the WFWF and I tend to believe him. If it weren't for Percy's book keeping, I'd have no idea who I'd wrestled. A tall fellow in a thick winter coat strolls in. I'm almost sure it's him.
Chicago weather, huh?
Yeah, it's like being home. May I?
He points to the empty side of the table. I signal to go ahead.
So you needed my input about something?
Hardcore. I've kind of got a thing with Penny Shannon going on..
So you've seen her tumblr?
He smirks a little bit. I think that was worth a little bit more than a smirk, but whatever.
While we were in the UK, I listened to that radio interview you did and I feel like I'm a lot like you. Being typecast into the hardcore violent matches.. I feel like it shortened my career and I know I'm feeling a lot of the injuries from it. That's why I stepped away. Why I just do commentary now and occasionally battle royals and stuff. When I was doing all the violent matches, I was in a really dark place in my life. Now I have a girlfriend, I'm in a better place psychologically.. I don't want to do the really violent stuff any more..
Good for you.
But I've got this crazy bitch running around, attacking me, hitting me with weapons.. And I feel like I'm getting dragged back in. I don't want to go back to that dark place, you know?
So what do you want me to do?
I just wanted your advice on what to do.. To win the match without anyone getting really hurt
Walk into the ring, stare her down..
Yeah?
Walk to the center of the ring..
Yeah?
Hook your hands around the waistband of her tights and pants her in the center of the ring. Try to hook her panties too. And when you pull them down, rip them, so she can't just pull them back up. Rip her shirt off too. Get that little dyke completely naked.
What the hell, man?
You want to get out of there without getting hurt or hurting her, you're going to have to embarrass her. Otherwise, you're going to go in there, try to make it a wrestling match.. She's going to smash light tubes over your head, hit you with chairs, and toss you through panes of glass. That's what's going to happen.
So you don't know any way out, besides sexual assault?
Did you not see my match with Alexis? It was her final career match. It's kill or be killed out there and if you don't walk out there and wipe her out, she's going to wipe you out.
He seems a little bit disgusted and a little bit perplexed. He's trying to come up with what to say, I can tell.
She can hit me with light tubes all she wants, but if it comes down to it, I am a weapon. I don't need weapons. I am a destructive force that can whip through her. And I may not want to, but if I have to, I'll put her down. I just don't want to lose myself when it happens. I need to remember who I am, and why I'm doing this.
Why ARE you doing this?
Huh?
Why are you doing this? Wrestling at all any more? You're a young man and you've shown you've got a knack for commentary. But you're a young man that's already got a lot of injuries. Why risk your body, long term?
Same reason as you, I guess. Why do you do it?
Because I don't have anything else. Because I didn't go to college. Because I started wrestling when I was eighteen and it's all I've ever done in my adult life. You know how it looks on job applications when you have to put down “2003-2007, Pro Wrestler. 2007-2010, Unemployed. 2010-2013, Pro Wrestler” and that be your only job experience? I got turned down for working in an Amazon shipping facility, because they told me I was under qualified. I got turned down for working in a pizzeria man. This is it. This is all I have in life. But you.. You're bright. You're young. You've got miles left in your life. Get away. Just, go. Go and don't come back. Don't show up for Superbrawl. You don't have to be like me. You don't want to be like me. Because you can have that Grand Slam championship, but it doesn't pay the bills. You can't tell the banks “hey, I can't send you a check for the mortgage this month, but can you let me slide, I've held the WFWF World Heavyweight title longer than anyone else”. It doesn't work.
So you're saying I should just give up?
If you don't have that killer instinct to you any more, this isn't the job for you. If you don't think you can go out there and end whoever is in front of you, with whatever means necessary, then you just need to walk away, because believe me, there are wrestlers that look for weakness. They're going to be looking to make a name for themselves off of your name. Be remembered, or be forgotten.
It's the constant grind though. You took time off, you've got to understand how much wrestling week in and week out wears on you, physically and mentally..
Yeah, and it's pretty easy to walk away. You just grab whatever belongs to you and you go home. You don't come back. You don't wrestle any more. I stopped talking to anyone related to wrestling. I stopped talking to anyone, quite frankly. You've got other things in life. Work with them. Do the broadcast journalism thing. Make some real money and stop killing yourself.
I stand up, throwing my three fourths full latte into a near by trash can. He's just staring at me. I think he expected me to say something more important.
Or stay wrestling.. and live with whatever you do.. Choice is your's.
4/1/14
An entry from Percy Jackson.
I've known Phillip Schneider for the better part of ten years. I remember the day he first got a hold of me, in fact. He had royally screwed something up and I was in a position where I could fix it. And while I've known Phillip Schneider to be many things, a fiend, a deviant, morbid, violent.. One thing I've never known him to be is particularly physically fit. He's always used more of a jiu jitsu approach, where it isn't size or strength that matters but leverage and skill. Particularly in the last year, he hasn't been eating like a pro athlete at all, instead gaining his nutrition from chips, soda, and cheeseburgers.
But the day after I ordered the gas mask for him from Amazon, I seen another order. In addition to a couple of low budget horror movies that always seem to find their way to Casa De Schneider was a 2 pound canister of chocolate Muscle Milk. And when I went to his house the next day, his refrigerator had suddenly been rehabilitated. Replacing the sodas were juices, replacing the chips were carrots, cucumbers, and broccoli. Replacing the Hot Pockets and jalapeno bites were a half gallon of pure egg whites and a large container of raw shrimp. And most shocking of all was a note on the fridge: gone running.
Seeing Phil change wasn't as dramatic of a change as his eating habits but as the weeks and days rolled away towards Superbrawl, so did his pounds. He went from a slightly overweight and out of shape ex wrestler to the best shape of his life. The runs he had been going on were brutal sprints, which he recovered from by resting in a tanning bed. In front of my eyes, Phillip Schneider was reinventing himself to the pro athlete he should've always been.
There's a certain determination in Phil's eyes that has been missing for a long time. The last time I seen it was heading into his match with Kyzer. That's also the last time I seen him do any training or preparation for a match. It seemed like after he won that match, his last real goal, the driving fire burnt out on him. He had nothing to work towards any more.
When Phil first told me he was returning to the WFWF at the end of 2010, I was questionable. I asked “why? What is there to prove?” At this point in the game, he and I were already the first tag team inducted into the Hall of Fame as Los Hobos, and had been inducted on his own merits as a singles competitor. He had won the World Heavyweight, International, and Tag Team titles, amongst a select group of performers to hold a WFWF Triple Crown. But that Triple Crown was haunting and taunting. It was an accomplishment that he didn't even like to have mentioned. Mention the World title, mention the International title, mention the three tag team title reigns.. But to mention them as a Triple Crown? That'd be grounds for a diatribe rant the likes only Phillip Schneider can provide.
When Phil returned, he had three things in mind. The first he targeted immediately. He wanted to squash the rumor of Trace Demon and put an end to this “new star”. He won. But winning the match did little but ignite what became one of WFWF's most personal feuds in recent memory, a feud that primarily took place outside of the ring. The second target? The National title. This was a weird one. A two time Hall of Famer, former Heavyweight champion, one of the best there's ever been in the WFWF.. Should've been a legitimate contender for the World Heavyweight title but was instead challenging for the National title? The lowest title in the federation?
On November eleventh two thousand eleven, the historical 11/11/11, on a sixteen match winning streak, Phillip Schneider challenged for the WFWF National championship for the first time, walking into the biggest show of the year, Superbrawl VII, to challenge rising star Hutton Brown. To squash a controversy of the physical championship belt being stolen, the winner of the match would be determined by “finder's keeper's, loser's weepers rules”, as in, the possession is nine tenths of the law. The winner of the match would be the man to retrieve the physical championship belt from above the ring by climbing a ladder.
And for the first time since returning to the WFWF, Phillip Schneider lost.
You have to understand what losing this match did to my friend. He had laid out “the way things were going to be” before returning. He was going to run rough shot through the federation, showing everyone who doubted him that he was, in fact, one of the best there's ever been and in the process, one of his biggest bullet points was erasing the asterisk on his page in history, that being that he never held a lower card title.
Now before we go any further, I'd like to emphasize the point that on 11/11/11, at Superbrawl VII, that was the first shot Phil had HAD at any lower card title. The Television title, the National title, the Asshat title, the Meggalicious title, the Hardcore X title, at every point that these titles existed, Phil was either preoccupied with other matters (our Hall of Fame tag team, which I appreciate) or was considered “above” the titles and it was never even a second thought to put him in these feuds. And until it BECAME a second thought, that he DIDN'T have the needed title to become a Grand Slam champion, no one even looked into it.
Going into Superbrawl VII, it was pretty much assumed that this was Phillip Schneider's night. This was the night that he was going to become a Grand Slam champion, once and for all. And when the dust settled and Hutton Brown was still the National champion, the thought around WFWF offices as well as the Schneider camp was “well, I guess it'll never happen”.
It's been a while. We're now on the road to Superbrawl VIII. Since the last Superbrawl, Phil managed to eliminate two “WFWF bucket list” items in one shot, regaining the WFWF World Heavyweight title for a second time and defeating Michael Kyzer, in route to becoming the longest reigning champion in the company's illustrious history. It's peculiar that he was able to carry this three hundred and sixty seven day reign, and then take thirteen months off from the ring, all before a second Superbrawl passed since the night that haunts him.
But here we are, the second consecutive Superbrawl with Phillip Schneider challenging for the WFWF National championship. Except this time.. this time it's different. Phil's not on a nearly year long winning streak. In fact, he's possibly the only person in WFWF history to be coming into a Pay Per View title match on two consecutive losses. While one wasn't Phil himself competing, it was his people competing on his behalf and the record books read a loss regardless. The unusual circumstances don't end there, though. There isn't a champion going into Superbrawl. Issac Cray, to those who know him professionally, Drakz, is not the champion coming into this match..
But this match.. this match kind of leaves the championship as an afterthought.
By the time I entered the WFWF about two months after Phil, Drakz had already debuted. The chronology of our married trio goes Phil, Drakz, and then myself, all within a few weeks of one another. Three WFWF Hall of Famers debuting within the span of a calendar month. Look at the people who have joined the WFWF within the last month. Can you pick three of them who are Hall of Fame bound? But despite this, Superbrawl VIII will be the first encounter between Phillip Schneider and Drakz.
Superbrawl VII was Phil's first match for a lower card championship in the WFWF and on the cards where Obo the Hobo and myself were in tag team matches, it was Drakz filling the role of low card champion. When it was Phil & I in Money..Cash...HoBOS comedy.. it was Drakz challenging for the International title. So while Phil and I found ourselves occupied with the tag team titles, that being the reason Phil “missed out” on the National title, for the same reason.. This is the first match up between Drakz and Phil.
For over a decade, two wrestlers have co-existed in rival environments. Their list of noteworthy adversaries is almost identical. Tha CBT, Zmaster, Trent Draven, Wayne McGuirk, Michael Kyzer, the same names used to tell the story of Phillip Schneider are used to tell the story of Drakz. Yet somehow, these two men have not crossed paths.
I don't know where the WFWF is going to be in ten years. I don't know if there's going to BE a WFWF in ten more years. There are times where I'm genuinely shocked that it's the year 2014 and the WFWF is still around. Will it be around for twenty five years? It's possible. But for a match as big as the one scheduled for Superbrawl VIII, for this meaningless low card title.. it'll take until WFWF's silver anniversary. For a match with these same parallels, the WFWF will have to nearly double in age, because in 2014, there is no unique match up with this much history behind it.
Could it have been thrown away on a TV show with no build? Sure. But for the last few months, I've heard every concievable reason for that theory's stupidity from Phil and I don't particularly wish to open that pandora's box again myself. Could this match have been a hotshot match for Scars and Stripes? Yeah, and people were excited about it then.. But now, now we walk into the biggest show of the year, the eighth installment of WFWF Superbrawl, the mega show. The show to trump all shows.. And we have this match, a match that at so many times, people thought would never happen.
Phillip Schneider versus Drakz.
Are you excited?
Are you ready?
I am.
Tonight.. Tonight is the night that the skies will open and spill forth all the hate and anger that has built up. Tonight is the night that the innocents will be poisoned once more. Tonight is the night that we step forward into the future and the future is bleak.
They’ve been talking since I left. They’ve been saying things that they think they can get away with in my absence. I have eyes and ears everywhere and I know what happens.. And I’ve been keeping a tally. Like a debt collector, every little thing is marked down. Dates, times, and individual instances.. Now the night has come that I collect on these debts, with force and with interest.
I've sat back and watched as the people talked and they said things that just aren't true. I've seen people who ducked their heads and turned the other way when I walked by now claiming they run this town. You know who you are and when I finish the business at the forefront, if I catch you saying this malarkey, I WILL cut your face off and go as you for a future Halloween. I've seen the people who I beat senseless disappear, both accomplice and enemy. Meg, Pierce Deville, Alexis, Tommy Staxx.. They all disappeared from the WFWF scenery shortly after I did, or before I did never to return and thus they cannot blame their absence on me.. Or the foes I vanquished. Hutton Brown. I really did expect Hutton Brown to suddenly find a set of testicles, stuff them between his legs where his balls would exist if I hadn't castrated him, and show back up claiming he was always down. But I think deep down inside he knew I'd show back up and slap him like the over worked, under paid prostitute he is. I'd slap him across the face and demand money from him because he is my whore and he knows this.
I expected Kyzer to come back. You know, to rewrite history.. Claim he's still the baddest around. But again, my personal bitch. Kyzer is a lot like Meg. I slapped her around a few good times and sprayed her with my seed and she knew exactly where she belonged and who she belonged to and accepted her position as my subordinate. I may as well have tattooed “whore” across her forehead so that everywhere she went, everyone she encountered could know exactly what she is. And Kyzer is exactly the same. And Brennan.. Brennan was too scared to even take the lashes he had coming to him and when Kyzer ran for the hills, Brennan hopped on the back of the turnip truck and was on his way out of town.
Drakz, what you're doing.. It's dumb. It's absolutely idiotic. It's your first day in prison and you walk up and punch the biggest guy in the yard in the face to establish yourself. And then you get killed. But unlike the naive fresh meat prisoner, you don't have the ignorance is bliss defense. You know who I am and you know what I do. You know I took your good buddy Kyzer, the wild stallion.. The bad mother f**ker that couldn't be tamed. And I rode that horse. I rode him like a whore and I broke his spirit. Kyzer was never the same again. You think he had this sudden vision to get clean and break your back on a spur of the moment? It's because I broke him. I turned his world upside down and inside out. Everything he knew was a lie so he had to grasp things he didn't know, and it destroyed him. Drakz, are you willing to make that same sacrifice?
David Brennan wasn't. David Brennan seen “hey, this Schneider cat is a pretty bad dude” and when I offered him a nice consolation prize for winning Survival of the Fittest of some imported alcohols and brews.. He took it and ran. Because he's not an idiot. Drakz, are you an idiot? Are you barking up my tree for a gift basket? You've earned nothing and I'm going to give you less. You walk away empty handed or I'll rip your hands off and smack you with them. Both hands, across both sides of your face. I'll smack you like the whore you are.
Let's cut the bulls**t Drakz. Let's get rid of the bulls**t and smoke and mirrors that you've tossed up, because the smoke and mirrors just don't impress me. I can see through the smoke and mirrors and I see a shallow man. I see a shallow broken man who is grasping at the straws of his past, doing the only thing he knows and the only thing he was ever good at. Drakz, your persona doesn't impress me and it doesn't scare me. The legend of Drakz is a farce. You beat cowards for every accolade you ever earned. Am I supposed to be impressed that you beat Ray Smith? Johnny Michaels? Immune? Saku?
I'm willing to destroy my past to build my future..
You come back and you pander to these people and you're cracking jokes. You're a good guy now Drakz and the people appreciate that but what I see as you cleaning up and flying the straight and narrow, I see as weakness. I see the old Drakz is dead and buried and frankly, that's disappointing. This new Drakz is a pathetic excuse of a man. I walked in front of you and I taunted you with your old gimmick and when you took a swing at me, I destroyed you. My MINIONS destroyed you. The underlings I have handle my pettiest of deeds laid waste to you. These derelicts of society that I paid an absolute minimum ripped you apart, Drakz.
I realized something long ago. I realized that I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person, I'm not a nice person, and I'm not a pleasant person and I accept that. I accept that I wear the black hat. I'm evil. I'm the bad guy. Drakz, I accept that and I can harness that. I don't walk out there to make jokes and garner the cheers of the crowd. I go out there to make money to support my family. I go out there and I hurt people. I hurt people so that my daughters will never have to do the reprehensible things I've done in my life. I inflict nightmares and I infect those around me, dragging them into my world. You think your buddy Kyzer wanted to walk into the barbed wire purgatory that I dragged him into in Japan? Hutton Brown specifically begged that he didn't want to be in my world because he KNEW my world would be the death of him. And Hutton Brown isn't stupid. He was right. I ended him. I am morally corrupt. I am the antithesis of everything nice and well in the world. I do not care about your well being. I see you as standing between me and my next payday.
Why do you have a problem with me? Why is my name the name that came off your lips first? I'm trying hard to grasp this Drakz because see, if I was laid out for a year of my life, I'd be gunning for the person who took me out first and foremost. And it's not like you were focused solely on the people in this federation, because rabble rabble, WRESTLING MATCH rabble rabble, because I wasn't in this god forsaken place when you came back, until you dragged me back. You could've said any name. You could've called out Zmaster. Why didn't you call out Zmaster? Why didn't you say “you know what Scarlett Quinn, I'm going to beat your ass and take your title”. Reverend Shadow, Solomon, Dex, Joe Bishop, Andrew Carter, Jay Money. Any of them would've been a better option than me. At least when they beat you they would be merciful and not cripple you.
So tell me Drakz, why was my name the name you said? Because we'd never worked? Because I ruined your world by running off your friends? If you think about it Drakz, indirectly, I DID break your back. Yeah, it was Kyzer's hands.. But I broke Kyzer. I tamed that wild stallion and I confused him. Up is down and left is right and instead of turning from a womanizer into a twink like I expected him to do, he went from being a junkie to being Mr. Clean Living.. and beating up his junkie friends. And David Brennan.. He wasn't there to say “hey guys, this probably isn't such a good idea” because I spooked him too.
When you walked out into that ring just before Scars and Stripes, you signed your own death certificate. You wrote you name on the line and signed it as your own coroner. But it's not a shotgun blast to the face. No, what you did is more like taking a syringe filled with AIDS blood and inject it directly into your arm. Yeah, you're going to die, but it's not an instantaneous death. It's a slow, painful, and unpredictable death. You rattled my chain, Drakz. I am the big dog of this yard and you walked up and pretentiously thought you were on my level. And then you're surprised when I knocked you down?
The road to Superbrawl's been a crimson road, lined with your plasma but stupidly, you still keep limping along. You keep coming. I knock out one leg and you hobble on the second. Superbrawl, it isn't going to be gas masks, smoke rising from the floor, flash mob sneak attacks.. It's not going to be about weapons, either. Superbrawl, you and I are going to step inside of the ultimate proving ground, between those ropes and inside of the twenty by twenty squared circle and with my bare hands I am going to break you. I am going to beat you like a whore and I am going to leave you for dead. It's 1965, Drakz. You're Sonny Liston and I'm Muhammed Ali.
Let's talk about the National title. You feel like throwing that element in. Because when I'm willing to knock you out cold with nothing on the line, I really need motivation to do it. I really need a reward to do it. You're not a stupid man. You've seen what I've done for that championship and inspired by that championship in the past. I stabbed Hutton Brown in the hand, broke his elbow, attacked him with a snake and ultimately tried to end his career with a Beverly Kills 90210 off of a ladder. Hutton thought playing the mind games with me over the National title was a good idea too. You see Hutton around any more?
I'm the forgotten one, Drakz. I always have been. I've always been the one looked over for the big match opportunities, either because “oh, he's just a tag team wrestler” or “oh he's not ready” or my favorite one, “oh, he has attitude problems”. The fact of the matter is, the very first opportunity I had at championship gold, I won. Tag team three way Hell in a Cell. I had been with the company mere weeks and I was the main event. Very first opportunity I had at singles gold, I won. I beat Okana and I won the International title. And that match.. it's not on the record books, it's not written in history, BECAUSE DRAKZ AND MICHAEL KYZER TOOK OVER THE OWNERSHIP AND SAID IT NEVER HAPPENED!
And then.. the first opportunity at the “Ham Shank” title.. I won. The first time I was the challenger for the WFWF World Heavyweight title, I won. The first time I faced Michael Kyzer, I won and as the record books show, I am the only person who officially holds two wins in this company over Kyzer. Drakz, you can talk and talk and say that “oh, I've done what you haven't, I'm a former National champion” but the fact remains that until I faced Hutton Brown at Superbrawl, I had never competed for the title. And to win.. Hutton didn't pin me. He didn't submit me. He didn't win by disqualification and he didn't win by count out. He did not knock me out and the referee did not rule me unable to continue. He climbed a ladder and pulled a belt down.
You're kidding yourself if you think I couldn't have beat “Man of the Hour” Josh, Dr. Macabre, Meg, Possessed Child, or one of the other faceless people who have held the title during my time around it. The fact is, I was considered “above the title” just like I am now.. You lost your title to CBT, Drakz. I've beaten CBT SEVEN DIFFERENT TIMES. I am seven and zero against CBT. We had seven matches, I defeated him all seven times. Decisively, I am better than CBT.
Drakz, this is the biggest match in WFWF history. This is the match that sold Superbrawl. And this match will go down in history as the match that everyone remembers, as your final match.
There is a darkness in humanity that has manifested itself in a lust for blood throughout the ages. The Old Testament and ancient myths catalog murder and revenge as part of the fabric of life in ancient times. Kane slay Abel. Rommulus slay Rammus.
Phillip Schneider slay Drakz.
4/11/14
039: Off the Rails
Aka Short Stories with Tragic Endings
Aka With No Help From My Friends
RE: Drakz
You have returned to the torture-chambers
To find peace among the rotting corpses
You have returned to the execution place
To inhale the smell of blood
Death and terror rules the land
We have been spellbound
You have returned to the hidden graves
Only you know about
You have returned to to face your victims
And feel sensation of violence once again
Death and terror rules the soul
You have been spellbound
By the Devil
Murderer, you have returned
To create fear and sorrow
Death and terror rules the land
We have been spellbound
By the Devil
To find peace among the rotting corpses
You have returned to the execution place
To inhale the smell of blood
Death and terror rules the land
We have been spellbound
You have returned to the hidden graves
Only you know about
You have returned to to face your victims
And feel sensation of violence once again
Death and terror rules the soul
You have been spellbound
By the Devil
Murderer, you have returned
To create fear and sorrow
Death and terror rules the land
We have been spellbound
By the Devil
3/17/13
Schneider's into the cage. Cross takes a swing with the hockey stick. Schneider ducks. Cam with the broken crutch. Schneider quickly turns the chair over and uses the side that doesnft have the razor blades as a shield, then knocks the broken crutch out of Cam's hands. Schneider jabs with the chair, but Camfs using the bent trash can lid as a shield himself. Mak Cross comes running and swings the hockey stick with all his might.. But Schneider moves and Mak cracks Cam right between the eyes with it.
Samael Ahriman: Miscommunication and Cam Nitta may be out. You play hockey as a kid Alecia?
Alecia Matthews: I played hookie.. But not hockey..
Samael Ahriman: A hockey stick is solid. No give to the wood at all.
Mak mourns for a moment over hitting Cam, but turns his attention back to Schneider. Schneider jabs him in the gut with the blunt end of the chair. Mak doubles over.. Schneider draws the chair back and slams the razor blade side into Mak Crossf back. Mak scrambles away, but the blades have done their damage. No less than twenty perfect lines of blood begin to flow from Mak Cross' back, his back quickly covered in crimson.
Samael Ahriman: Now that's just disgusting.
Alecia Matthews: And look at Schneider! He's laughing!
Scarlett Quinn is scaling the cage, albeit slowly. Schneider opens up the chair and sets it on the mat. It's now in the open position, with the probably fifty glistening silver razor blades sticking up. Schneider pulls Cam Nitta to his feet. He puts Cam in a front face lock. Schneider lifts Cam up. Hefs stalling. He's holding Cam's blood spattered and tack covered body above the razors and hefs simply demonstrating his strength. But he showboats too long. Cam brings a knee down into Schneider's head and Schneider loses his grip. Cam's feet are back on the mat. Cam grabs Schneider across his chest, and turns his back to the razor chair.. A sweep of the legs, Cam does a flip, flipping with Schneider and driving him onto and through the open razor blade chair!
Samael Ahriman: For the LOVE OF ALL CHRIST! Stop the damn match!
Alecia Matthews: That chair just collapsed to nothing as Cam Nitta drove Schneider into it with his C4 and I'd like to remind you, that chair was COVERED in razor blades. We seen the damage those blades did to Mak Crossf back.. Ifm almost afraid to see the damage to Schneider.. He just fell with all of his weight, plus Cam's weight and momentum.. THROUGH the razor chair.
Schneider scrambles away and he's ripped to pieces. Gushing blood. Bleeding all over the place. Cam stands up.. And he has no time to celebrate his victory.. Because Scarlett is into the cage and she nails him with her running super kick!
Alecia Matthews: She just CLEANED CAM'S CLOCK with that Drive By Kick!
Samael Ahriman: But Scarlett's down too.. After the fall off the cage.. It looks like she's hurt.. I'm not sure how she managed to pull the energy for that kick, but she's hurt.. And all four are down.
All four wrestlers are down. The first to stir is Cam Nitta. Hefs able to pull himself to his knees using the ropes but hees not in a great way. He grabs Mak Cross, who is covered in blood, bleeding from head to toe. Cam sets Mak up for the C4. But he can't get Mak up much less over. He drops Mak.. Mak is slowly to his knees. Cam runs and nails him with a shining wizard.
Samael Ahriman: シャイニング ウィザード!
Alecia Matthews: Run that by me again?
Cam is on his hands and knees. But Scarlett Quinn is up! And Shefs got the razor blade chair. She swings it with malice, drilling Cam on the top of the head with the razor end. Scarlett throws the chair away, but collapses herself. Luckily, she falls on the prone Mak Cross. Referee down for the count. 1...2...3!
Samael Ahriman: Was that three??
The bell sounds. "Come Out and Play" by The Offspring hits over the P/A system. The referee tries to raise Scarlett Quinn's hand, then tries to help her to her feet TO raise her hand.. But Scarlett's out of it.
Samael Ahriman: We've got a new WFWF champion. Scarlett's music is playing but in this match, there were no winners. New Kylie hasn't moved since she came off the cage. The Deville got carted out several minutes ago.. Percy got stretchered out.. We're going to need three more stretchers out here.. Maybe four unless someone carries Scarlett to the waiting ambulance..
Alecia Matthews: I've seen some wars for the WFWF title.. But this has got to top them all. And frankly, I don't want to see someone try to top this, because someone'll be killed.
Samael Ahriman: That's your champion. She's the WINNER. I've seen people step on god damn landmines and look in better condition!
Alecia Matthews: We are past our time here..
As the cage is raised, Penny Shannon comes running down to the ring from the back and bolts over to the timekeeper where the WFWF Championship is being held. She grabs the title belt and tries to avoid all of the carnage around the outside of the ring as she pulls herself intot he ring, careful to avoid all debris. She sits Scarlett up, who is starting to come to mentally but is completely unable of even lifting a finger. Shannon kisses Scarlett's shoulder and holds the title in front of her face. Scarlett is nodding her head back and forth, a smile creeping onto her face.
Alecia Matthews: It would seem that we are staying on the air...but why?
Scarlett leans her head back into the chest of Shannon, smiling, her hands placed on her WFWF Championship sitting in her lap. Phillip Schneider rolls out of the ring and into the waiting arms of a ring attendant. "Slip Out" by Beck resonates throughout the arena, but rather than following the action in ring, we move to a previously unseen camera angle, that simply follows Phillip Schneider to the backstage area. He's burned, bloodied, and barely walking even with the assistance of the backstage attendant. Schneider starts up the ramp, but the ring attendant guides him to the side of the ramp, as to not interfere with the post match spectacle. In the background on the stage behind Schneider, Shawn Malakai and Thunder can be seen. Shawn Malakai can be heard clearly as Schneider and the ring attendant make their way through the giant draping curtain.
Shawn Malakai: Well I will be damned. You did it, darlin'. I know everyone in this arena here hates her and hates me, but you will clap for this girl. No, this woman. You will never see anything like this ever again and you will show her your appreciation. Scarlett, love...you are the first woman to ever hold that championship. You have not the foggiest of how proud I am of you. And I know things have not always been great between the three of you, but trust me when I say your mother and father are even more proud of you that me, Penny and all of your fans combined. Even Thunder here was impressed.
Schneider has made his way to the backstage area and takes a seat on a bench. The Deville is already there, being treated for his minor wounds by medical staff. Upon seeing the arrival of the former Heavyweight Champion of the World, the majority of the backstage staff leave The Deville and head to tend to Schneider, who is in much worse shape. The Deville gives a nod to Schneider. Shawn Malakai's voice over the house mic can be heard clearly echoing to the backstage area over the public address system.
Shawn Malakai: This reign of Phillip Schneider has come to a rather unceremonious end. I cannot say that I am happy or sad about that, but he was the longest reigning champion ever and may remain that until the end of time. That is a record that I bow down to and everyone in this company will always revere. And a little 18 year old woman was able to bring this chapter of the WFWF to a close. Impressive.
Schneider rises from his bench, much to the protest of the medical staff.
Phillip Schneider: This is bull.
Pierce Deville: Easy boss
Phillip Schneider: No, I'm done.
Schneider rushes past the medical staff, hobbling as he makes his way to the backstage area. Shawn Malakai can still be heard over the P/A system, but much less distinctively. The Deville rises up and starts to chase after Schneider, he himself hobbling and limping as he makes chase.
Pierce Deville: What do you mean “you're done”?
Phillip Schneider: I mean I'm done. I'm done with all of this.
Pierce Deville: “This”?
Phillip Schneider: WFWF, wrestling, all of this. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of always being hurt. Look at me man. How the hell am I supposed to explain all of this? I look like I just went through a car wreck. It's not worth it.
Schneider peels off his kick pads, throwing them aside as he enters the shower room. The Deville makes it a point to pick them up. Schneider leans down and quickly undoes the top few laces of his boots, pulling the left one off and then the right one. He throws his boots aside with careless abandon. The Deville goes after them, almost like he's playing fetch for his master. The Deville has an armload of Phillip Schneider's bloodstained and battle damaged gear as he follows closely behind his boss, Schneider entering the shower room
Pierce Deville: You can't just quit.
Phillip Schneider: Why?
Pierce Deville: Because you've got people depending on you. You've got the entire Decaying Society depending on you..
Phillip Schneider: Yeah? And when I needed to depend on the Decaying Society, I was let down. I was let down by all of you and as far as I'm concerned, The Decaying Society is dead. All of you, go your separate ways. I'll take New Kylie home with me, because at least the purpose I brought her in, as a sex toy, she can still serve. The rest of you serve no purpose to me.
Pierce Deville: You can't just walk away from it all man. This is your job. You've said it yourself, wrestling is the only thing you've ever done in your adult life and it's the only thing you're good at.
Phillip Schneider: I made more money TONIGHT than most people make in three years, Pierce. I've got enough money in my bank account that I could never lift a finger again and I'm financially secure, I'll have money for a nest egg for retirement and my girls will have money when I die. This isn't like when YOU left ME hanging in 2008. I don't need pro wrestling. I can walk away from this, leave it all behind, and never look back. The car shows, the autograph signings, the personal appearances, I don't need it and I'm not going to do it. I'm done man.
Schneider turns on the water to the shower. He's still mostly dressed. Shorts, socks, tape.. The stem rolls out of the shower as the water flows and in most of his gear, Schneider steps underneath it. His shorts begin to sag from the weight of the water and his blood dilutes from the dark red to a light red to orange, a swirling Bates Motel effect being created underneath his feet. The blood is still flowing freely and now with all the surface blood washed off, Schneider's wounds can all be seen clearly. The blood flows like water from his back. His long blonde locks are dyed red from the blood. His white socks are growing darker red as the blood flows down onto them. It's a disgusting display as Schneider's plasma paints the shower.
Phillip Schneider: This is my blood man. This is my life giving blood swirling down the drain. You think this is fun for me? I'm going to have permanent scars all over my body from tonight. No amount of money is worth that to me. Not any more. How much money is enough and what risk to my body is enough? What is a pound of flesh worth? You think if my daughters get a nice fat check for a few million dollars from WFWF, they'll be able to go to the store and buy a new daddy, when I get KILLED out there? It's too much man, and I'm done.
Pierce Deville: Look man, that's all well and good, but if I'm not working here, I'm going back to prison.
Phillip Schneider: Who said anything about you leaving? I don't care what you do.
Pierce Deville: I'm only here because you are. You think they'd just hire me back, without you saying so? With my reputation?
Phillip Schneider: Do whatever man. It's not my concern.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5/5/13
Earlier this week, I had the opportunity to sit down with a legend in the sport of professional wrestling, a man who has done it all I the WFWF federation who announced a shocking departure from the sport following his last match. What I expected was a simple interview with an athlete who was bitter at his employers typical of the high drama world of professional wrestling. What I got was something much more.
Hello once again. You’re listening to Johnny Hamilton here on Sport Radio in Essex. Joining me in the studio this afternoon is now former professional wrestler from the WFWF promotion, Phillip Schneider.
He looks at me and nods, but doesn’t say anything into the microphone to acknowledge to the listeners that he is present.
Phillip, how are you doing today?
I’ve had better days. I’m still banged up from the Pay Per View and I’m incredibly jet lagged now as well.
Well the first things first Phillip, would you like to explain to our listeners why you’re in the United Kingdom this morning?
I made commitments outside of the WFWF for media and personal appearances here that were to coincide with the WFWF’s tour in England and I am a man of my word. This is the only radio appearance I’ll be doing while in England, so make it count Johnny.
Well I think the question on the tongues of all of my listeners would be, what is Phillip Schneider up to now? What is Phillip Schneider doing in a life outside of the ring? And why did you leave the ring in the first place?
How about we open with a lighter topic, eh Johnny?
Alright, let’s start from the beginning then. The new beginning… You appeared back on the wrestling scene in November 2010 after a lengthy hiatus. What brought you back to the ring, initially?
I’m going to be cliche and say exactly what I said in character. Because my “in character” is never far off of my real life. That’s why when I returned, I didn’t go by the name “Obo” and I distanced myself from the “King of Gore” mantra, because those are gimmicks and what I do isn’t a gimmick. I am Phillip Schneider. My ID and driver’s licenses say Phillip Schneider. When I returned at the end of 2010, I was returning to take over the company. I seen what was happening with the company.. I had followed the company for a year or so prior to returning.. And the guys who were on top, I knew I was better than them. I returned because I wanted to finish my career on a high note. Fans had memories of what I had done and the last memory that they had of me was a last minute removal of me from a Pay Per View main event and a sloppy substitution from Yukio Blaze. That is a wrong that I returned to correct.
So you wanted to finish your career on your own terms. One last run?
Not just that. I knew for a fact that I was better than the guys populating the WFWF. And I think I proved that. Twenty four televised matches I had before I was pinned, submitted, counted out, or disqualified. Eighteen months. And the guy who finally beat me caught me in a flash pin fall.. A guy whom I had already beaten, twice, in big match atmospheres.
The boss of the WFWF now, Trace Demon. Believe he has relatives from around these parts?
I wouldn’t know. I’ve never socialized with Trace.
You say twenty four televised matches before a pin or submission over eighteen months.. But your record wasn’t unblemished. You suffered a defeat, a fairly significant one, at Superbrawl in 2011. The significant date of 11/11/11 as my notes say. You challenged for the first time in your illustrious career for the WFWF National Championship, the one championship that you need to have held each championship at least once, but came up short against Hutton Brown in a ladder match.
Yes. Hutton climbed a ladder and pulled a belt down and somehow, that made him the winner. But he was never the same after that match. He had his own hiatus following that match..
Let’s talk about Hutton Brown for a moment. You’ve been very outspoken about him in the past…
You want me to talk about Hutton Brown? I’ll talk about Hutton Brown. Hutton Brown could’ve just had a match with me, took his lickings and took his lashes like a man, but he had to escalate it to a personal degree. And when I did injure him, he couldn’t just realize I AM the better man. That I AM the better athlete than he is. He had to come and ruin my moment. Tokyo, Japan. The Tokyo Dome. Probably the most significant moment of my career because not only did I win the WFWF World Heavyweight championship for the second time, I became the first man to pin Michael Kyzer clean in the center of the ring. But at the end of the night, that wasn’t what was important. What was important what that Hutton Brown made his return to the WFWF. And despite wrestling one of the most grueling and violent matches in WFWF history, Hutton thought throwing me around a little bit proved a point.
Professional wrestling is a show, right Phillip? There’s a degree of show to it. You want to win the matches, but not at the risk of paralyzing or crippling an opponent, correct?
Most of the time, yes.
Then why did you do what you did to Hutton Brown? You knew doing the maneuver that you performed to him from the top rope would injure him. For my listeners at home who have not seen what I’m talking about, load Youtube and type in “wrestling gone wrong, Phillip Schneider cripples opponent” and the video will come up. My producer has loaded the video here.. Here we see this abomination set up.. The security rail.. Some seats.. A sheet of glass.. And you’re up there.. You pull Hutton onto your shoulder.. And.. Uhhh. That’s hard to watch. For the listeners at home, Phillip performed his signature maneuver, the “Beverly Kills 90210” a sit down head driver, from the top ring rope to the outside onto all the items I mentioned. Upon impact, Hutton Brown’s neck and spine bend a horrible way. Just dastardly. The video goes on to show Phillip pinning Hutton and then mocking him, to re-enact a scene from the Jean Claude Van Dam movie “Bloodsport” and steal his elbow pad. What do you have to say for yourself, Phillip?
I have no remorse. I have no regrets.
You don’t regret injuring Hutton Brown like that? To take away his lively hood?
No.
I’m getting word from my producer that we need to take a momentary break for adverts. When we return, more of professional wrestler Phillip Schneider, as we look back with a retrospective on his wrestling career.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4/14/13
Cut to the backstage area! To Xavier Pierce’s office. Pierce is writing on some papers when there’s a conveniently timed knock on the door.
Xavier Pierce: Come in.
Through the door limps a noticeably banged up Pierce Deville. Much like Mak Cross, Scarlett Quinn, and Cam Nitta, The Deville is showing the war wounds from Psycho Circus.. He’s also much more somber than he has been in every appearance since returning. His signature smirk, the condescending look he’s had on his face since returning at the side of Phillip Schneider is washed away and replaced by an emotionless straight line on his face.
Xaiver Pierce: Can I help you? I was under the understanding that you “Decaying Society” people wouldn’t be around here for a while, since Schneider decided to take his ball and go home..
Pierce Deville: Look, I’m not here for Schneider.. I’m here for me. I want to stay here.. He might be taking time off.. But I can’t afford to..
Xavier Pierce: Unless Trace Demon has negotiated something I’m not aware of.. We aren’t paying you..
Pierce Deville: I’m here on work release. I’m here because I’m a well known wrestler and former champion here. If I’m not working here.. Then I either find another wrestling company to work for.. And with my reputation, that’s not easy to do.. Or I go back to prison.. And I CAN’T go back to prison.
Xavier Pierce: There’s no openings on the active roster.
Pierce Deville: Please man, I’m begging you.. I’ll do anything.. I’m well trained for anything.. I’ll set up your rings man..
Xavier Pierce reaches under his table, pulling out a referee shirt in a plastic bag. He looks at it for a moment then throws it at The Deville.
Xavier Pierce: I hope you can wear a large.
Pierce Deville: Thank you so much, sir. You won’t regret this decision sir.
Xavier Pierce: Please. See yourself out of my office. And tell Schneider whenever he wants to come to work.. He can come have a similar meeting with me..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6/1/13
Tell me about your father.
It's been a few weeks since *that* night and I'm feeling better now, but I've also come to accept that these visits are now a part of my life. The short carpeted room with non-threatening neutral colored carpet.. The leather covered chairs that squeak when you sit on them.. The book shelves covered in more books than a library and almost always with random toys too.. This is a therapist's office.
This is the third therapist I've seen since *that * night. The first therapist was convinced that there was underlying sexual tension or a history of molestation, because everyone who's suicidal was molested at some point. The second one just wanted to drug test everyone. Me, dad, mom, Percy, New Kylie, Old Kylie, Meg, Alexis, Deville, everyone. You wrestling people are all on crack and steroids. Especially Meg. Meg and Alexis. They're super hopped up on steroids. All hundred thirty pounds of Meg and skinny little Alexis.. They're on roids. And because Dad doesn't have contact with them any more, they're clearly the problem. It's not a history of depression. It's not a history of bipolar. It's not the attention deficient hyper activity disorder paired with oppositional defiant disorder for a cocktail of crazy. It's not the fact that my mother was diagnosed with all three of these as well. Nope. Not the anxiety and panic attacks either. My dad's ex girlfriend does steroids. That's clearly the answer.
This third guy seems a little bit more on the level. He comes recommended from the secretary who used to run my dad's psychologist's office. From what my dad says, Dr. Baldwin could've already got to the root of my problems and been fixing it, but he's no longer alive so I have to settle.
Samantha, tell me about your father
What do you want to know?
What's he like?
He's a wrestler.
He's writing something on his tablet of paper. He doesn't even bother to look at me again as he's asking his next question. It's rude and obnoxious to not even look at the person you're trying to understand.
Well, what's he like? I'm sure life isn't all about body slams and head locks. What's he like at home?
Calm. Reserved.
Reserved?
This gets his attention. He looks up at me with a look of intrigue in his eyes.
He doesn't say a lot a lot of times. He'll find his place in the house, either in his office on the computer, in the living room by his games, or in his bedroom and stay there sometimes for days at a time. I can't remember the last time we really just sat down and talked. In fact, after Meg and Alexis left, we quit even having meals together. He'd just have Percy buy food that I could cook in the microwave when I got hungry, or he'd order food in. Or Percy would cook for me..
Percy is..?
My dad's assistant. He was my dad's business manager in wrestling. He was a wrestler too at one point, but now he just makes sure my dad's career runs smoothly. Gets the rental car, books the hotels, buys supplies for my dad like tape, new gear, new pads.. Drove my dad around a lot..
And you said your dad doesn't wrestle any more?
No.
Then what does Percy do now?
He takes care of me and my little sister. He brings us food and drinks.. He makes sure I make it to school and that Hailey makes it to the babysitter. He still goes to stuff like parent teacher conferences at my school.
Why?
Because he knows what my schooling is like, he knows me better academically than my dad does. He knows what these parent teacher deals are like. He's not going to get mad at the teachers when they say things.. My dad doesn't really know what's up in that regard.
So your dad gets mad often?
You're not a wrestling fan, are you?
I can't say I am.
My dad's temper is kind of legendary. That's what he's known for.. for getting angry and just going nuts on people.
Does that carry over outside of the ring?
What do you mean?
Does he ever lose his temper with you?
He has
Over what?
I got caught stealing from Walmart.
And what happened?
He just yelled a lot. Because it was a bad time for him. The media was following him at the time, him and Kylie.
He's doing that thing where he's writing and talking but not looking away from whatever he's writing again. I want to see what he's writing, because it's clearly more important than this conversation.
Kylie is his girlfriend?
No, New Kylie is his girlfriend. Kylie was a wrestling student he had. She's dead now.
How did she die?
She killed herself.
What did you think of Kylie?
I liked her a lot more than I like New Kylie. I liked her more than Alexis too. Kylie was kind of like a big sister to me. We weren't far off in age and she looked after me a lot, when Percy wasn't around. She gave me make up and stuff, stuff that a mom would usually do for a teenage girl.. Stuff that all my friends had their mom's for, I had Kylie. For a little while, at least.
Would you say Kylie's suicide effected you?
By the time she killed herself, she was already out of my life. She was “dead to me” by then anyways.
Why?
Because she ran off with Kyzer.
Who is Kyzer?
Another wrestler. He was my dad's rival for a while. And he was Kylie's boyfriend, after she left my dad. Then Meg and Alexis moved in and Meg was dad's girlfriend. And Meg was Kyzer's ex girlfriend. And she kind of knew the relationship I had with Kylie and thought she could fill that void, by being a mother figure.. but she's not my mom.
He nods, writes something down, then looks at me, crossing his legs. That's more awkward. Go back to not looking at me.
You talk a lot about the female influences in your life. Where is your mother?
Don't know.
When was the last time you seen her?
Few years ago.
And your relationship with your mother?
Non-existent.
Why?
Because she'd rather be a junkie than a mother. She'd rather snort cocaine and drink and party all the time than take care of me. My dad might not be the best parent, but at least he has people around to make sure I'm taken care of.. and financially he can take care of me a lot better anyways. He was the one paying all of my mom's bills when I was living with her, even though all the money he gave her she used on drugs pretty much.
That's a pretty heavy accusation to make.
It's true. Drug dealers would be in and out of our house all the time. “Uncle Mike”, “Uncle Jim”, “Uncle Harry”, “Uncle Joe”. I was related to half the county as far as my mom was concerned and her parents gave birth to every race possible.
You seem content in your life now Samantha. What's changed?
Changed from when?
From your attempt.
My attempt to kill myself? Right after that my dad wrestled his last match. He gave up on wrestling. Now he's home all the time. Things feel more.. right. He helps me where he can with schoolwork now, he drives me to school sometimes instead of Percy.. he's just around a lot more now. I'm not fighting for his attention against his career.
What does your father do now?
He plays video games a lot. He's got a video game Youtube channel. I think he's going to be on Epic Meal Time next month.
What does he do for a job? Where does he work now?
He doesn't work. Wrestling paid pretty well so he doesn't have to work now.
So he just.. exists?
He's going to be at Chicago Comic Con.. I don't exactly know what he does. Why don't you ask him? I'm sure he'd have plenty to say about anything..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
5/5/13
Hello once again. You’re listening to Johnny Hamilton here on Sport Radio in Essex. Our interview with Max Clifford will be broadcast at 2 PM during Footy Today, because in the studio we have a very special guest, former WFWF wrestler and champion Phillip Schneider.
You know, it’s still very odd to hear my name referred to as “former wrestler” and “former champion”. “wrestler” and “champion” were terms I had grown so accustomed to.. Several years of my life to the former.. A solid 365 days straight for the latter.
Well lets talk for a moment about the championship match where you lost your championship..
Yes, lets, because I’ve got a LOT to say. I signed a contract for Psycho Circus to face David Brennan. I started my training for David Brennan. Unlike most people on this fly by night circus of a company, I like to know who I’m facing well in advance so that I can plan my training program, physically and mentally, the full month in advance. David Brennan is a very methodical wrestler and an advanced striker. Immediately following Survival of the Fittest, I flew to Stockton, California and started sparring training with Nick and Nate Diaz. I had two of the world’s top strikers teaching me everything they knew about striking and strike defense. They weren’t doing this out of the goodness of their hearts, but rather for fairly considerable compensation. While I was one of the highest paid athletes on the WFWF roster, I put a lot of money back into myself as a property for strength and conditioning training, strike training, and any other preparation that I’d need.
What were you training for, specifically, with the Diaz Brothers?
It really doesn’t matter, long term, because the match that I signed for never happened. Instead, I was placed in a match with Mak Cross. So I had to tell the Diaz Brothers, sorry guys, I’m going to have to cut our training short. You guys can keep the money I’ve paid you for the full camp, but I’m needing to change my training for a new opponent.. And not simply Mak Cross.. But also Cam Nitta and Scarlett Quinn. And while I got several weeks of advanced knowledge for Mak Cross.. I got less for Cam and Scarlett, because they were determined by random chance in a battle royal, which they couldn’t even bring a definitive winner from. Now let’s talk for a moment about the match itself. A cage, with a roof, with scaffolds and weapons in play. A match specifically designed to neutralize my accompaniment. My licensed manager, my licensed second, my licensed corner man.. A match type designed to neutralize and eliminate them so they cannot give me the advice and help I pay them for.
You mean to interfere and cheat?
In a no disqualification match, it’s impossible to cheat. So for the second time on Pay Per View, I’m defending against three top contenders. The first time, I’m put in a position where to retain my championship I have to win two matches in one night against the three best guys in the federation. I prevail and persevere in that match. I take the one guy who I specifically had problems with, the one guy who had been running his mouth like he was being paid by the word, Hutton Brown, and I end his career.
My guest begins fiddling in the hand bag he’s brought into the studio with him. He produces an elbow pad. A slightly cracked design, bloodstained elbow pad with a large red X design on it.
I took his elbow pad. Ever see the Jean Claude Van Damm movie, Bloodsport? When you defeat, humiliate, and end someone.. You take a piece of them with you. Mentally and physically. I ended Hutton Brown, I ran Raider out of the federation and back to the retirement home and Michael Kyzer was so scared of what would happen if he stepped into the ring with me again that he blew off a championship opportunity and stayed in the back, then ran for the hills when he heard I was gunning for him still.. So despite me persevering in a four way match previously.. I get another one. How many champions in the WFWF’s past have had to defend the championship against six challengers in two matches, Johnny? Off the top of your head?
I don’t have the exact numbers in front of me, but I’m sure it’s not a high amount..
No, it’s not. Because it’s a bull s(bleep) ideology. The WFWF is so mismanaged and bungled that they can’t determine one number one contender for a championship. Well, until it’s someone with stroke.. Then it’s a one on one match..
Shawn Malakai..
Instead of promoting one on one matches to determine who is the better man, they’d rather throw four, six, fourteen, twenty six guys in a match, and then they wonder why they’re no unique matches left in the WFWF. Here’s some backstage buzz for you, Johnny. Something that I assume your listeners here in England would probably appreciate. The UK’s own Drakz was set to face me once on Revolution. Not a main event.. A mid card match. Completely throw away, no build, nothing going into it or coming out of it match. Simply because he was aligned with Michael Kyzer, who I disliked. Now while this is a “big match” it’s the exact type of booking that has put companies out of business in the past. Drakz and I have been in and around the WFWF since 2003. He entered the company about two weeks after I did. We ARE the longest tenured members of the WFWF roster, because I was headlining cards by the time Yukio Blaze showed up, he was a Heavyweight champion by that time.. You want to throw Trace Demon and Shawn Malakai out as “name guys”? They’re the top of the card, the PPV main eventers? Real talk: I gave them both their first matches. When they entered the company, I was an established enough roster member that I was put in charge of running the WFWF’s developmental center at the time.. So I’ve ranted a bit off my point.. Drakz and myself.. Instead of taking that match.. A match that could’ve happened any time between January 2004 and January 2013.. A full nine years and a little time before that.. But hadn’t. stars hadn’t aligned, different perspectives.. A match that fans would PAY to see and one of the last super matches that the WFWF can promote that really legitimately means something.. It gets thrown on free TV. I’m an intelligent business man and so is Drakz so we both in separate meetings went to the clowns at the front office and said we weren’t participating in this match. He knew as well as I did, if we’re doing a match between the two of us, it’s going to be a fight to the bitter end and it’s not the type of match you give away for free on TV. It’s the type of match you build for three months and you put on as a Pay Per View main event for the Heavyweight championship. Drakz versus Phillip Schneider is the type of match you put on as your Superbrawl main event, not as a Revolution mid card match..
You seem to have some very strong opinions about WFWF management and booking..
Yeah, I do. Because for my entire adult life, I’ve been a professional wrestler and I’ve been a professional wrestler for the WFWF. So when there’s no WFWF, there’s no Phillip Schneider. I want the WFWF to succeed and be bigger, better, and more valuable because when it is, Phillip Schneider is more valuable. Phillip Schneider with his WFWF Hall of Fame rings on both hands..
He holds up his hands. On his ring finger on both his left and right hands are WFWF Hall of Fame rings as he says.
…is more valuable. But when two (bleep)ing clowns, idiots, retards, goofs, whatever other synonym for fools you can come up with are running the company and think it’s financially viable to put an 18 year old girl as your top star.. Yeah, I get a little heated. I get a little heated because the incompetence of this company is what ran off EBR, it’s what ran off Michael Kyzer, Drakz, David Brennan.. It’s what made Meg decide it wasn’t worth trying to put OUR student through the riggers of the WFWF, because the financial reward would be minimal because the people running the company were pissing away money at every opportunity! It’s why potential top guys like Drake Elias just disappeared as quickly as they appeared. Know why? Because there were no money matches left for Drake Elias BECAUSE THEY THREW HIM AGAINST ME ON TV WHEN I WAS THE F(bleep)KING WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! Who would pay to see Drake Elias challenge for the World Heavyweight championship when they seen me pin him, clean, on TV? This is the type of absolute idiocracy and mediocrity that I dealt with on a daily basis. The grind of this company, trying to correct mistakes to protect MYSELF financially as well as protect the people around me, the people in my “inner circle”. Tommy Staxx, big fish in a small pond.. Rather than helping him develop into a top star, management throws him down a gauntlet and thinks it’s funny when he loses over and over, to the point the leaves! Percy, my best friend.. Retired former wrestler.. Had to THREATEN TO SUE the WFWF for an injury he sustained in the ring in 2006 that needed surgery, to get the money to fix his broken body. You’d think a company would notice and embrace mainstream publicity and artists who were willing to appear for the WFWF without compensation. You know how KMFDM were thanked for coming to JAPAN on their own dime, to play me to the ring? The knuckleheads in the sound booth played my previous song by Danzig, and paid Danzig the Pay Per View royalties, for my win, rather than just letting KMFDM play the song that THEY FLEW THEMSELVES TO JAPAN TO PLAY! Howard Stern.. The King of All Media.. Wouldn’t the person challenging for the WFWF National championship appearing on there be something you’d promote on your television show so that your viewers can see how big your stars are? No? How about when your WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION is on Howard Stern? Johnny, you know.. This appearance on this show.. Percy set this up. WFWF doesn’t have people in the office smart enough to realize they should book their wrestlers out to promote their localized events and the guys in the locker room don’t CARE enough to promote the company, because they’re too god damn stupid to realize if the company is worth more, they’re worth more.
Phillip, my producers are telling me we’re overdue for our quarter hourly adverts, would you like to promote the WFWF’s upcoming television programmes while you’re here?
Absolutely not! Yeah, my contemporaries are going to be in this country for an event, and you know what, they can mingle in mediocrity and wallow in the filth they’ve created and allowed management to create for them. You want me to promote something? Go buy KMFDM’s new CD, Kunst, in stores now. Advertisements that you should be seeing on WFWF TV, but they’d rather piss off an artist that gives them royalty free music as a favor to ME rather than devoting twenty seconds of their TV time to promoting his work.
And we’ll be back momentarily.. Stay with us for more Sport Radio with Johnny Hamilton.
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8/15/13
What are you doing?
At this particular moment, I’m almost asleep. I’ve made it a ritual for the last four or five years, when I am ready to lay down in bed for the night, I turn on a movie. It allows me to just relax and a ninety minute movie is typically long enough to relax to sleep or close enough to sleep that when the movie is over, I am able to go to sleep. Tonight’s movie was a B-level horror “Knock Knock” with some punk and goth kids throwing a party in a warehouse that they weren’t supposed to be in because it was haunted, or something. I turned it off about ten minutes ago.. And my eyes have been closed since.. But with the female voice in my room, I open my eyes. I thought it was New Kylie.. But I’m shocked when I open my eyes and Kylie stands before me. The original Kylie. She’s standing at the end of the bed looking at me.. She looks beautiful.. Jeans and a tank top.. I can see she has a big scar on her wrist. She didn’t die?
Huh?
Or as it came out “UHHYHHH”. I’m trying to get woke up to address her..
You heard me. What are you doing?
I was sleeping.. Or trying to go to sleep..
Don’t be a smart ass, you know that’s not what I meant. You drove me away. You made me leave you.. So what are you doing? Why have you been trying to replace me since I left? Alexis.. This “New Kylie” tramp.. If I wasn’t good enough for you, why are you determined to fill the void with these new girls?
What do you know, you’re dead!
Am I?
Yes.
She brushes the hair out of her eyes and stares me down. She has a look of almost.. Evil.. In her eyes.
Am I? Look, the reason you brought me on to start with was to fill a void in your life. You thought I was going to be your girlfriend and I had none of it. You’re not my type.. But then you realized you liked taking care of me. You liked my dependence. You enjoyed teaching me things. You wanted to mold me in your image so when your days in the ring are done and trust me.. They’re coming up..
I’m the top draw of the WFWF!
Your days in the ring are coming to a close soon. You’re getting old and the injuries are piling up. And by training me.. By teaching me everything you knew.. You insured your legacy was continued. You know how fickle the WFWF is.. How quickly they forget the stars of the past. Would anyone really remember Johnny Michaels now if it weren’t for YOUR rants about him constantly? Does anyone remember Ray Smith? How about Reverend Shadow? You’re going to fall into the same breath as they do when you go. A guy who used to be a star.
No I’m not! I’m a two time Hall of Famer! I'm the best there's ever been. I held the WFWF World Heavyweight title for three hundred and sixty seven days, longer than anyone else before me!
And that and $1.50 will buy you a coke. Your legacy is fake. You've been gone for five months and despite what you'd wish, the company goes on. Seems to be thriving without you, in fact.. But through me.. You wanted to do the same thing Wayne McGurk did. You wanted a second generation star. Why didn’t you just clone what Wayne did, Phil? Why didn’t you train your daughter?
Because Samantha’s not like me.. She’s a kind person. She cares about people and she doesn’t want to hurt people..
Then why do you hurt her?
What?
Why do you hurt her? If you know she isn’t like you, why do you force her into your shadow? Why do you force her into a corner where she feels like suicide is the only way out? By embarrassing her and lambasting her.. You know what happens when someone gets constantly put on blast.. When they’re pigeonholed into being something they aren’t? They kill themselves. I did it.
But.. You’re not dead.
Yes I am.
But you’re standing right here!
Am I?
I blink. Just a blink. Something that you can’t stop your eyes from doing. One frame of vision gone from the 60 frames per second that a human eye sees.. And in that one frame of missing vision.. Kylie Olsen disappears. I stand up. I’m grasping at her. She’s not there. She was never there.. This was all a dream…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6/15/13
I find myself backstage at the WFWF and I'm a man without a country. The problem with aligning yourself with unpopular allies is that if those unpopular allies leave you then you're all on your lonesome. The Deville has never been a popular man. People either hate me for what I am or they hate me because they aren't what I am. It's a bit of a mix and match. So the Decaying Society was a natural fit for me. Not just because of F*ck You, but because without the DS, I was a man without a country. And now without with the DS, I'm a man without a country. See how that works?
With the one armed guy, the fat intellectually- disabled person, the fat actual intellectually- disabled person, the whore, that Staxx bum, and Schneider, I had a wolf pack to run with. I could swarm and do my thing and I had a protection net, because Phil's jabrons were my jabrons. Need a door slammed on someone's leg? I got a guy. Now I'm standing in the back of the building and I'm all alone. I don't even know anyone here. I mean, I know what people look like and can assume that the people walking around in their underpants and shiny boots are wrestlers.
Anything I can help you with, sir?
See, he called me sir. He doesn't even know who I am. I'm just a guy. I'm not a former WFWF Tag Team champion, a guy on paper to face off for the World title. A guy who turned this entire federation on it's ear. I'm just a guy. I'm an ex-con referee. What sense does that make? I'm there to enforce rules when I couldn't even follow them myself. I'm reformed. I'm reformed from being The Deville. Now I'm just referee Pierce: Guy.
Can you point me to check in?
Are you a wrestler? Do you have your credentials on you?
See, he doesn't know who I am enough that he's questioning if I'm a wrestler. There was a time in this company that my sly smirk would've got me anything I wanted and now this goon in slacks and a button up shirt with a hanging name tag is asking me for ID. No I'm not a wrestler, I'm just Pierce: Guy
They're in my bag, I think. I'm not a wrestler. Just a referee.
Why didn't you arrive with the rest of the referees? A whole van of them traveled here together and checked in about an hour ago.
I'm new.
Let me make a call.
He pulls out his phone and starts talking on it, but he's holding it to the side like a douche and a intellectually- disabled person. He's holding it like a whore holds cock. Want to suck that cock, douche? Douche is standing there and trying to be discreet. He keeps eyeballing me. It's like he doesn't want me to get out of his site. He's sizing me up. I'd love to just slam him against the wall and rock his world. See, this is a time when having the DS around would be helpful. I could have the fat intellectually- disabled person (The fat actual intellectually- disabled person, not Percy) grab this guy and slam him or something. Who's going to get mad at a intellectually- disabled person? He's a intellectually- disabled person, he doesn't know any better. Now let him piss his pants and eat his cheerios. But now I'm just Pierce: Guy and I'm a man without a country and without a intellectually- disabled person.
You said you worked for WFWF?
No, I just wandered in off the street with a suitcase full of wrestling crap and a referee shirt and hoped no one would notice. What kind of a dumb ass question is that? I nod to him. He's still staring at me with a dumb ass look on his face. Dumb ass asks dumb ass questions, more on this story at five. This is where the DS was nice, because the fat intellectually- disabled person, not the actual fat intellectually- disabled person, but the hobo fat intellectually- disabled person.. But not the actual hobo.. He'd handle this with business acumen and such. Hand a folder off full of paperwork and tell the lad to be on his way. But now I'm Pierce: Guy, a man without a country, a man without an actual intellectually- disabled person, a man without a intellectually- disabled person to handle things, so I'm on my own.
Yeah, I'm a referee.
That should suffice. He's still staring at me. And now he's listening to the other end of the phone again
What was your name again?
Pierce.
:Guy. Man without a country. Man without an actual intellectually- disabled person. Man without a intellectually- disabled person to handle things. Man without a jailbait looking whore to flash some leg and get things moving faster.
Last name?
Deville.
He's on the phone again. Nodding a lot. He reaches at his pocket. He's got something in his pocket that he doesn't want to take his hand off of. It's not a gun because pussies aren't allowed to carry guns and he's a cunt. **** fake rent a cop local jabron ass hole. He pulls it out. Looks like a sex toy. Some sort of baton. Is he threatening me? He hangs up his phone.
I have been informed I am to escort you off of the grounds. You do not have business at this arena tonight and are not welcome at future WFWF events.
Do what? Who'd you talk to? Call Xavier Pierce.
That's who I just got off of the phone with. Mr. Pierce has informed me that any ties with you have been severed. Said to tell a Mr. Schneider hello.
Then call Trace Demon.
The word of your unwelcomeness has come from Mr. Demon, now sir, I'd like to escort you back to your car now without a problem.
This is fucking bullshit.
Sir, the language is not needed, we're leaving the arena now.
Suck my cock. This is fucking bullshit. I'll beat your fucking ass and fucking rape you, you fucking Jew cunt mother fucker. I will fucking rape you. I will fucking rape you in the ass.
Know how they say prison changes a person? It's weird that the first thing I went to, to threaten this male, is sodomy. Don't do the crime if you can't do the time, kids. He's motioning towards the door. I kick a nearby table and flip it over. He's waving that stupid little baton around like it means something.
I'll shove that fucking baton up your fucking ass, you kike Jew mother fucker. I will fucking rape you with that fucking baton you fucking kike fuck.
And with that racist and slightly homosexual rant, I've been escorted from the building. I'm not Pierce: Guy, Man without a country, man without a intellectually- disabled person, man without an actual intellectually- disabled person, man without a whore.
Man without a job.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
8/16/13
They really screwed us over, you know?
This is a conversation I knew would be coming at some point. I have friends come in and out of my life and while the relationships are hot and cold, the relationships are always there. Sometimes they are business agreements, like this one.. And business agreements between friends have a high chance of going sour. Unfortunately, this one has and it was primarily not my fault.
Do you know how much we could've charged them, but didn't as a favor to you?
I find myself sitting across from Käpt'n K, Sascha Konietzko, the lead singer of my favorite band, KMFDM. Except today he's not my friend Sascha and he's not my favorite musician. He's scorn. WFWF burnt him pretty badly.
How hard is it to plug a CD? How hard man? How hard is it to have the announcers say “KMFDM Kunst is in stores now and on iTunes”. I've watched the shows, the announcers never talk about anything relevant anyways.
I feel like a kid who's been caught red handed and dragged to the principal's office. I've got no defense, partially because the crimes for which I'm being tried for aren't my crimes at all.
Our people even sent over commercials. Not just for our album, but spots that we filmed specifically for WFWF. “This is Sascha Konietzko of KMFDM and you're watching WFWF Revolution”. Why didn't they use that, Phil? They just wasted our time and resources. I'm not going to pinch pennies, but it was money out of our pockets to do that. We filmed it, we used our blank tapes, we paid to have it Fed Exed and over nighted to WFWF, and they did absolutely nothing with it.
Meekly, I finally am able to respond.
I know
Then why didn't you do something about it?
I'm not with them any more.
But when you were with them. You liked entering to “All or Nothing” and I didn't charge them anything for using it as a favor to you. I know what those music contracts are worth. I didn't charge them anything to go to Tokyo and perform your entrance. We did it for free, as a favor to you and as a free trip to Japan. Not only did we get no pay what so ever, but we didn't even do your winning song. They played your old song over the P/A. Phil, I like you, but this is ridiculous. We've been losing money ever day we've been involved with the wrestling people.
If it makes you feel any better, they still owe me pay for the last show I did.
How is that supposed to make me feel better?
That you aren't the only one getting screwed over?
But you agreed to what you got. We agreed to certain things and we didn't get any of it. We did this as exposure for the new album and our tours. You know how many people have come up to us after shows or at record signings and said “hey, I just discovered KMFDM through WFWF”? Do you know how many? Exactly zero.
I'm sorry?
Right after It's Super Effective, for three shows, I asked the crowd, “who seen us on WFWF It's Super Effective with the King of Gore Phillip Schneider?”. Could've heard crickets. Never heard several thousand people be so quiet. No one cared about what we did man and the WFWF tried to sweep us under the rug.
I can't apologize enough..
You're right. You can't. You're welcome to come to our shows if we're in town, but beyond that... I really don't want to see you again.
Huh?
You're trouble. You are trouble. You talk about this curse stuff and I thought it was nonsense but you know what, it's true. Everything you touch turns to scheisse. I would've never got involved in the wrestling stuff if it wasn't for you and I would've been better off. I gained nothing from this relationship and I'm out financially. I'm out time. I'm out resources. Why would I continue this?
Why would you? I'm done with the WFWF...
And I'm done with you.
He reaches into his pocket, producing a $50 and throwing it on the table. $50 seems a bit excessive for a few cups of coffee.. But hey, rock star life? He quickly turns and is out the door before I can say anything else to him.
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5/5/13
And we're back. This is Johnny Hamilton with here on Sport Radio in Essex, joined in the studio today by former WFWF wrestling star, Phillip Schneider. Phillip, while this afternoon's talk has been an enlightening one and has certainly given our listeners a look behind the curtain of pro wrestling, you've been dodging the most important question. Why have you left wrestling?
Outside of the idiotic, moronic, lame-brained, nimrod, short sighted goons running the company into the ground like a mismanaged Monorail?
Yes, because differences with WFWF management shouldn't mean the end of your career. There are other leagues out there.
But Johnny, a lot of what I do is based off of legacy. A lot of what I can say, it's based off of the things I've done. I could go elsewhere and tell people “yeah, I'm going to hurt you and I'm going to make what I did to Hutton Brown look like child's play” but outside of the WFWF, no one is going to know the lengths of depravity I went to, to gain my revenge on Hutton Brown. That name is greatly irrelevant elsewhere.
So why didn't you start fresh?
Because as much as I'd love to blame Trace Demon's inability to successfully run a lemon aid stand, much less a pro wrestling company.. That's not the reason. Johnny, I am not a young man any more. I'm almost thirty years old and I've been wrestling since 2003. In that time, I've fallen off of ladders, been thrown off of cages, been lit on fire.. I've broken every bone in both of my hands to the point on cold or rainy days it hurts to close a fist. I've broken both of my wrists half a dozen times. I broke my left forearm and continued to wrestle with it simply taped up. I've broken every toe at least once and the heel of both of my feet, which is why I no longer do the double stomp. I've had knee replacement surgery on both knees and the damage is still done to such a degree that I walk with a permanent limp. And I've had more concussions than I can count. You know when they say “well, my bell just got rang”. That's a concussion. That's damage to the brain.
Concussions are all the buzz right now in the American football. We've covered a bit of it here on this programme.
Fifteen years ago, doctors weren't concerned with the long term effects of concussions because they had absolutely no idea what the long term effects of a concussion WERE. Now with wrestlers dropping dead like we were going extinct, football players becoming vegetables, and other pro athletes feeling the effects, the organizations have begun to crack down, but frankly, it's too little too late. I've been hit in the head hundreds of times. I've banged my head off the mat taking simple bumps THOUSANDS of times. And there are days when I feel the effects. I've forgotten my address before. I can't remember phone numbers at all. When I was with my ex girlfriend, I forgot her name at one point. This is a girl I've known for ten years and I completely forgot her name. I just stared at her. I forgot what I was going to say because it started with her name and I couldn't remember her name. This is a horrifying reality and a real cost that I, the person behind the entertainer, now have to pay for the years of entertainment I've provided.
So the injuries have taken a toll?
It's to the point where it would simply be irresponsible of me to climb between the ropes. I have two young daughters. They depend on me as their sole provider, because both of their mothers simply cannot provide for them. My older daughter is very independent and looks after her sister a lot, but the fact remains she's still a kid and she needs a father a lot more than a wrestling company needs a performer. The WFWF will survive without “The King of Gore” but Samantha Schneider will not without her father.
That's something else I'd like to talk about, if there's time..
Go ahead..
The King of Gore.. Unfortunately my performances in the ring did become a hit. Once you release Freebird, no one wants to see “Gods and Guns” and to me, my greatest hits were spectacles of blood letting, crimson, and macabre. When people turned on the Phillip Schneider show, they expected to see blood, violence, and gore. When I returned to WFWF, I tried my best to distance myself from it. I took on a new gimmick and a new name. I wasn't “The King of Gore Obo” any more. I never called myself Obo, at all, by design. I didn't want to be “The Heretic Hero Obo” any more. I wanted to be the wrestler, Phillip Schneider. But somewhere along the way, I got dragged into the blood and violence and broken glass and pretty soon, almost every match seen me stabbing someone with barbeque skewers or a needle or bringing broken glass into play. I could blame WFWF management for booking me in matches like no rope barbed wire matches, ladder matches, and a Psycho Circus cage with weapons hanging from the roof, but the fact is I made the decisions to bring the instruments of destruction into my act. I could've been the lame Gallagher and just told jokes about the things women say, but I wanted the big pop from the crowd, so time and time again I brought that giant hammer on stage and I smashed that melon. And you can't just smash the melon. You've got to give the people the full splatter show. So you smash the mustard. You smash the cottage cheese. You hit the lettuce. You throw a bucket of water into the crowd and pretty soon what you're doing doesn't even resemble comedy at all any more. It's just a spectacle. What does slamming someone on cinder blocks have to do with pro wrestling, Johnny?
Not a whole lot..
But that's my act. That's why I was there. And as I got involved in increasingly violent stipulation matches.. The barbed wire, the broken glass, the razor blades.. All it did was accelerate the car crash that was going to end my career. Rather than slowing down and wrestling a more technical style that wouldn't do the long term damage to my body, I was falling off of a cage onto a chair covered in razor blades, because dammit, I'm the King of Gore! I'm the Prophet of Ash, I'm the Heretic Hero!
Why didn't you just stop doing the violent matches? You yourself said, no one forced you to bring needles and skewers into your act..
No, no one held a gun to my head and said “if you don't stab your opponent with three different blunt objects tonight, we're going to shoot you in the face” but the fact is, really violent matches were my niche. They were the one thing that set me apart. I can do violence better than anyone before me or anyone that will come after me. My brain works in a different way than most people's. I can think of things to do with things that most people would never think to bring into a wrestling match that horrifies people. Most people look at an ink pen and see an ink pen. I see something to stab someone with. “The darkest souls are not those which choose to exist within the Hell of the abyss, but those which choose to break free from the abyss and move silently among us.”. Don't you understand, to exist, this is my purgatory. This is my Hell. I either do what the devil says, or I no longer exist in this world. At some point for my own well being, I just have to accept that I no longer exist in this world.
So just like that, you're done? Psycho Circus will be the final match of Phillip Schneider's career?
When I left before, I didn't get a big final match. I think the last match I had before was a TV match and an angle setting up for a PPV. Then there was a post on the website that said I was gone and Yukio was taking my spot in the PPV and that was that. That's not how I wanted to end my career. That's not the final chapter of my legacy. I returned to the WFWF to finish my career. I think what I ultimately accomplished.. Being the first person to pin Michael Kyzer's shoulders to the mat in a WFWF ring.. To win the WFWF World Heavyweight championship.. which I held on to for three hundred and sixty seven days, longer than anyone has ever held that title in one reign and likely longer than anyone ever will hold it.. I think that is a good way to end my career. I think the fact that this time, I could go out on top. My face was on the PPV poster and the tickets were sold to see Phillip Schneider on my final night. I didn't go out on bad terms. Trace knows I'd stand and piss my pants just to laugh at him while he burned rather than whip my dick out and piss on him to save his life, but for the most part, those differences were behind us. But how do you end a career? Do you work like Zmaster? Zmaster is someone I used to look up to, but frankly, looking at him no a days I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassed that he continues to shame his legacy. He's over stayed his welcome and he's outlived his shelf life. No one ever seems to really retire in wrestling and the ones who do don't ever do it with dignity. So rather than having an elaborate in ring retirement and stand in the ring, crying like Lou Gehrig.. I just went away. I kept my dignity, I have no shame. I went out on top and I just walked away.
And for today, we're walking away. Phillip, I'd love to have you on again at a later date because I feel like we're just scratching the surface of the Phillip Schneider story, but for today, we're out of time. This has been Johnny Hamilton on Sports Radio Essex, stay tuned for Footy Today.
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8/20/13.
I've just got Saints Row 4 for my Xbox. Well, “Mark Holsden” did. In my secluded life, I've taken on an alias for even ordering things online. As I open the cardboard box and excitedly peel the cellophane wrapping and crack the stickers on it, it's a familiar happiness. I can be called materialistic, but getting new video games brings me a certain level of happiness I'm sure can only compare to the high of a drug addict. The release of positive endorphins. I excitedly insert the disc into my Xbox and begin to play.
I don't get far into the game before I start to get a headache. I think it's this candle. It's soy and has a very strong scent. I pause my game and get up, blowing the candle out and putting the lid on it, before resuming my game. I'm sprawled out on my bed, elbows on two pillows, in my comfy pants playing a new game. This is my good place. This is where good things happen. This is what I've earned from years of abusing my body, the right to just sit back, relax, and play video games when I want to. This is the best I could've ever dreamed of when I was a kid out of life. But this headache, It's just getting worse.. I have to stop playing. It's a brutal back of the eye headache. It feels like someone is pressing their fingers into my brain through my eye sockets. I save my game, turn off my Xbox and head into the kitchen.. I need a drink. And now I've got a stomach ache. A horrible stomach ache. It feels like I've just had my stomach stomped.
And without hesitation, the contents of my stomach flow forwards through my neck and out of my mouth. I have enough time to get over the kitchen sink but not much more. It's projectile vomiting. Everything in my stomach empties out into the sink with a mighty thud and a splatter. I've caused such a calamity that Samantha comes down.
Are you drunk?
I open my mouth to attempt to respond to my daughter, but no words come out. Only chunks of partially digested Subway BMT with a unique Dr. Pepper gravy. I'm regretting the jalapenos and pepperjack cheese at this point. Samantha tries to check on me, but backs up as another huge wave of vomit flows outwards. She's nice enough to turn on the hot water and the garbage disposal, all while covering her face to avoid smelling my filth. She backs away and stands at the opening to the kitchen, observing as a five.. five dollar.. five dollar foot long is projectile ejected from my body. With the contents of my stomach emptied, I huck a few dry heaves and then fall to the floor, collapsing to my knees. It's then and only then that Samantha is willing to approach and check on me.
What is wrong with you??
I try to focus on Samantha but my vision is blurred. I can't see straight. I'm looking right at her and am only seeing a ghostly shape. It's like my vision is extending far beyond what my eyes truly see, by about twice the height. Everything is a blur. I feel her hands grab my face. I can feel my head rocking, trying to compensate for the spinning in my head.. The room is all spinning to the left so I'm spinning to the right. Samantha is the only thing stopping me from hitting the tile floor. She's holding me with one hand now.. I can hear her clearly. She's talking to someone.
My Dad needs help! He just started throwing up and now he's about to pass out... I don't know what's wrong. We need an ambulance. He needs help right now. Our address is 1520 North Naper Boulevard. In Naperville. Okay, I'm on the line. I'm holding him.. He's having a seizure I think, he's shaking back and forth.. Please hurry..
You know how death is always described as a flash of white light? I think that's only for the good people. I think a flash of white light as the heavenly gates open is only for the good and righteous of the world. Because as I laid in my daughter's arms, I didn't get the flash of white light.. My blurred vision turns dark. Darker. Darker. It's like someone's messing with the settings on the TV in my head. Finally I'm just turned off. No sound. No picture. Phillip Schneider has clocked out.
I wake up. I wake up in a cold sweat. It's dark outside and my lights are off, but my room is still illuminated by a slightly darkened Xbox 360 screen. You know the screen saver, when you pause for a long time? Yeah, that. I apparently fell asleep at some point while playing Xbox and had a realization of mortality. I rise from my bed and look around. New Kylie is sound asleep in the chair. She's taken to sleeping in the chair lately. You know how the first few months with a new girlfriend, everything is amazing, she's the coolest girl you've ever met and everything is great in life? Try six months into a relationship. Sex is not as often and isn't an amazing experience any more. Now it's “how can we make this interesting again”. You've heard all of their stories and jokes and they've heard all of your's. If you are never apart, you have no stories to talk about and since March, we've rarely been apart. I don't travel for wrestling any more and she has no where to be at all.
Recently I've really been questioning why this relationship even “works”. Why I've taken to supporting this girl, who shows herself to be cold more often than not. She's not a mate. She's not a partner. She's a toy. She's an expensive subscription based toy. Xbox live costs about $20 a month. She costs about $200 a month. Still cheaper than a prostitute and since she never leaves anywhere, I know I'm not going to catch anything from her.. But it's particularly hard to catch anything when I never touch her any more. The new toy isn't fun any more.
I first met this girl when I was building the Decaying Society. She was interesting. She fit the mold of what I had in mind and feeding and clothing her could be written off as a business expense. That's how I treated The Decaying Society. They weren't friends. They weren't colleges. They were a tax write off. They were a business expense and they were tools for me to get from point a to point b. And if those tools broke, well.. I'd replace them. And I'd keep all of the receipts.
But now, now I'm not really doing anything and neither is she. As I fight this inner debate, my physical being interjects itself into the argument, approaching the sleeping girl and shaking her. It's an out of body experience again. I can see myself doing this, but I'm on cruise control. I'm shaking her.
Get up. Get up right now.
She groggily and grumpily awakens from her slumber. She rubs her eyes and looks at me confused. I'm still shaking her even though she's awake.
We're going to pack up the things that belong to you.. and then you're leaving.
Where are we going?
We're not going anywhere. You're going.
Going where?
To leave.
Leave where?
She's risen up from the couch and seems to be fully awake now though not fully aware of what's going on. I can't fault her for that because I can't say I'm fully in control here either. I'm just rolling with it, letting my gut tell me what to do. And my gut right now says that I don't want to pay any more money to maintain this girl, that I want her out of my house right now. That I can go on eBay and buy a fleshlight for about $50 and jerk off and get a better effect than what she's providing.
My life. I'm done with you.
The fuck you talkin' bout?
I don't want to fuck you any more, I don't want to see you any more, get out of my house, get out of my life. Pretty clean and dry there.
I'm pregnant.
No you're not.
Yes I am. I'm pregnant with your baby.
You dumb fucking whore, you just had your period last week. I seen the bloody tampon, you lying fuck. Get the fuck out of here. Send me a post card with your address, I'll mail you your shit.
Fed up with this whore. Get her out of my life, now. Trust is the foundation of any relationship and when I'm already tired of you, lying is the worst thing you could do. Especially lying about something like being pregnant. I grab her by the shoulders and am walking her to the door
I'll go to the press, I'll tell them everything! I'll tell them you used me for sex!
And that just makes you look like a whore.
I'll tell them you do drugs.
And that just makes you look like a lying whore.
I'll tell them you hit me. I'll ruin your career, Phillip Schneider!
What career?
I push her out the door and slam it behind her. Good day and good riddence.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
9/13/13
You don't know what you got, till it's gone..
It's incredibly cliched but it's something I'm really and truthfully beginning to understand. I was familiar with the lifestyle of a WFWF wrestler. I'd traveled the roads and been on the shows for a few years myself, but when my best friend in life, Phillip Schneider, told me he was going back to the WFWF and wanted me to handle the role I essentially handled while we were a team, to be his accounts and travel manager. You know, to book his hotels, make sure he's got food and drinks on the road, check out his rental cars.. Be his babysitter basically.. When he told me he wanted me to take on that role I was a pessimist. I had been gone from the WFWF since 2006 and I had moved on with my life. I had a few nagging injuries that required surgeries. The WFWF, under the Kyzer and Drakz regime, were nice enough to pay for those, but they left me in no condition to perform at a high level ever again. Namely my back, completely shot.. And the after effects.. Prescription drugs are a son of a b**ch.
But in November 2010, I had a unique opportunity presented to me. I was making decent money at the time working as IT for a somewhat shady overseas company.. When Phil approached me about becoming his lackey again, I turned him down. Why would I give up my job for THAT? He offered to match my pay, with a 25% boost. Why would I go back to all the traveling?? He negotiated me a WFWF contract on top of the deal with him, so they'd be paying me to travel to the events and to appear on the shows.. Significantly less than a wrestler's contract, but significantly more than I was truthfully worth because I wasn't doing anything for the company exactly. So in December 2010.. alongside my best friend.. I returned home.
You know what it's like to ride the wave, and when you can just sit back and watch as anarchy unfolds before your very eyes? I do. I watched a man who had been away from the WFWF for almost three years walk through the front door, say he was there to take over.. And do exactly that. I watched my best friend re-enter the company and for eighteen months, he went without a pin fall or submission defeat. December 2010 to June 2012.. Every single person he stepped into the ring with, he handed losses to. And yes, that includes Trace Demon, that includes Mak Cross, Hutton Brown, and Scarlett Quinn, because each of those people were only able to best him on their SECOND attempt..
I watched Phillip Schneider say really outrageous things and then back them up. I mean, how often do people say in wrestling “I'm going to hurt you, I'm going to end your career”? It's every week. It's said so often that no one even believes it any more, but he did it. He did it to Hutton Brown. TWICE. He said at Superbrawl that win, lose, or draw.. Hutton would never be the same and he wasn't.. He left for his sabbatical shortly after that encounter and when they tangled again, Phil said he was going to be the death of Hutton Brown, that he was going to end Hutton's career. I watched the move. Beverly Kills 90210, off the top rope, to the floor.. with a steel guard rail, some steel chairs, and a pane of glass as the only things stopping Hutton's head from splattering on concrete like a watermelon at a Gallagher concert.
I watched this all happen first hand, and from a better perspective than most anyone else in the world besides Phil himself. And as quickly as this freight train, this juggernaut started.. It stopped.
It all stopped.
The show's over, you can all go home now.
So your career is over?
Phil has been reluctant to address this at all. It's been the elephant in the room for the last few months. I've asked in considerable less blunt ways over the past few weeks and I've never got a straight answer. Now I feel like I have to get to the bottom of this.
You know the WFWF has been calling lately, right? Asking when you'll be ready to come back? I just got off the phone with someone from the office this morning. They want you to return for the Halloween show, even if it's not wrestling, even if it's just a one off appearance.
I'm not interested.
Why?
Because I'm not.
So you're done with wrestling?
And he's went silent on me again. He's not even looking at me. He's just sitting, staring at the TV. The TV isn't even on. He's just staring blankly at his oversized TV.
You're still a young man. You're in the prime of your career. This is the time in your career when you're making “the big money”. Remember when we were in pointless tag team matches, you always said you needed five years on top, making “the big money” to retire. Now when you get to “the big money”, you're a top draw for the WFWF, you're the longest reigning Heavyweight champion in history.. Now you just walk away? You're willing to leave money on the table like that, when you've easily got three, maybe four years left on you? I'm not saying you should go on the house show circuit and work three times a week, and I'm not saying you need to be working every TV, but when they're offering you the kind of money they are just to come on the Halloween show and say “I'm the King of Gore, Happy Halloween” or however you want to paraphrase it, you're a fool for just ignoring them. You wouldn't even have to fly. They're in Cleveland. We could drive. We could head in there a day early, go see the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, do the deal with WFWF, and come home.
I'm not going
Why?
Because there's nothing left for me with the WFWF. There's no one left for me to beat. No mountain I can't climb, no tower to high.. Trace Demon? Two wins over him.. Mak Cross, Cam Nitta, ...Scarlett Quinn? I've beat them all. The “big money matches”, the stars of the past.. Michael Kyzer, Zmaster.. beat them, made them look a fool. Should I care about the titles? I've held the World title twice and for the second time, longer than anyone ever has. And I wasn't pinned to lose it. Tag Team titles? Three times. International title? Twice.
You've never held the National title.
And I don't care. The National title is a meaningless hunk of metal anyways.
What about the current rising stars, the guys you haven't faced? Jason Garrett, Dex, Dave Demanto.. You know they're going to be talking soon, saying “I'm better than anyone in the past, including Schneider” and unless you've beaten them, you'll have no proof to the contrary.
I literally do not know anyone who you just named. There's a person named Dex? Like, Pokedex?
Making little jokes don't change the matter. Your legacy isn't going to last forever. I've seen your DVR, you still watch the show.. Skimming to see if you're mentioned. You're not mentioned any more, are you? You know your web browser saves your search results. How many times have you searched “WFWF Schneider” “WFWF Obo” “Phillip Schneider” and “Schneider Wrestling” in the past few months? Your ego CAN'T let you just walk away. You know there's money to be made and you know you're better than most of the current roster. You know you could walk in there, easily knock off Scarlett for the title, and possibly break your own record. You said it yourself, you've beat Scarlett.
And what would it prove to do it again? I beat up a hundred thirty pound girl, big deal. There's nothing left for me, man.
What about Drakz?
What about Drakz?
You threw a pretty big fit when they were going to throw you versus Drakz on TV unadvertised for free. “It's never been done before, this is one of the last big matches from this era of WFWF” you said.. And yet here we are, six months? Seven months? Later and we've seen no Drakz versus Schneider match up.
Drakz is retired. Kyzer hurt him.
Yeah, because wrestling retirements are serious..
Your's was.
So I'll ask this again, you're really retired from wrestling? Out and out done?
And just like that, he's went mute on me again. He's just staring at the turned off TV again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
11/16/13
Saturday nights are kind of void of television. TV producers assume everyone is out drinking or partying or whatever and make a choice to not put any real first run programming on Saturday nights. Sunday has become a hotbed for first run programming, with Walking Dead, Breaking Bad, and Game of Thrones all taking that slot, but Saturdays are a void. Which is how I've found myself watching WFWF Revolution.
Pro wrestling is very much a Hotel California. You can check out whenever you want, but you can never leave. Even though I left the WFWF, I've been paying attention to it to an extent. I watch the shows and read the website.. People still tag me in WFWF related stuff on Twitter so I'm aware of the circumstances. I feel like it's the same as when I left in 2008. I still followed the federation for a solid six months before I finally decided that yes, I was gone and no, I did not care about what was happening any more.
The show has been rather uneventful so far. Three guys I didn't know were in a three way and then Reverend Shadow stole a rat. Rev always was a fan of rats. Yukio Blaze is in a three way with two more guys I don't know. I suppose I haven't been paying as much attention to this as I originally liked to project. Even while watching this show, I find myself drifting in and out of the show, fiddling with my phone or organizing papers rather than actually watching the show. It's background noise for the most part. Faces blur on and off of the screen in what seems like fast forward speed. Some I recognize, most I don't.My attention refocuses on the screen with Trace Demon in ring. He's babbling on and on and not really saying anything.
Trace Demon: All of you know that whenever I step in this ring I make a statement, I do things that make you all sit up on the edge of your seats and watch because you know you’ll never forget what you’re seeing. But this shouldn’t only apply to what I do in this ring; I realized this week that the one thing this company has been missing behind the scenes is my attitude inside this ring. This company needs to be making an impact every single week, it needs to be getting people talking every opportunity it gets and that is exactly what I do in this ring, so from now it’s exactly what I’ll do outside of it as well. And what better way to start that off than by proving that I know what’s best for business and that I do everything it takes to achieve that.
He knows what's best for business so much that he let his top star walk away without so much as a text message.
Trace Demon: So I’m betting the question you’re all asking yourself is what could Trace Demon have possibly done in the past week that would get oh so many people talking. And the question I ask is are you all insane? I’m Trace Demon! What couldn’t I do?
Alecia Matthews: Certainly not lacking in confidence this owner of ours.
Samael Ahriman: Or madness, he’s not lacking in madness either.
Or stupidity. He's got plenty of stupidity.
Trace Demon: So we need to start with a bang right? If I’m going to make this a must watch show each and every week we can’t start with a half measure. So earlier this week I announced exactly how I’m going to do it – by bringing back one of the stars of this company, a man each and every one of you know. A man that I know all too well. Me and him have had our problems in the past but truth be told I’ve always respected him because he’s a crazy son of a bitch who kicks ass and quite clearly… I can relate. He’s a man who has achieved everything this company has to offer, a man who has headlined pay per views, won titles and made history defining moments in this very ring. He is one of the very few men who has taken me to my limit and I couldn’t think of many other men I’d rather have back in this company than this man…
Is it bad that in his inane babbling, the only thing that really stuck with me is that the word “bitch” is now censored on WFWF TV? Trace Demon has a way about him to say a lot of words but not really say anything and I feel like that's what he's doing here. After all his pomp and circumstance, out walks some guy. This is probably going to be like when Wez Vendetta returned and because his name was in very old results he was assumed to be a big deal to be returning, but the harsh reality is he sucked then and he sucked when he returned. Is that him? I'll laugh if this hobo looking dude is Wez Vendetta.
Alecia Matthews: Well so much for Trace Demon's business changing announcement. Who is this bum?
Samael Ahriman: I'm not....Maybe....
Alecia Matthews: There better be a good explanation for this.
Samael Ahriman: Wait I've got it! That's....
Some Man: Drakz. If you're all wondering who this man before you is, it's Drakz.
Confused dog head tilt
Drakz: I may not look as you remember me, but that's because for the most part I'm not. It's been just over a year since I last stood in this ring, and that last time I had the tag team title in my hand and a victory over Raider moments previous. Things took an unexpected turn immediately after that.... But I'm not here to talk about that. What I am here to talk about is the proposition laid out to me by the other man in this ring. Trace Demon. As you are all aware myself and Trace have a, shall we say, troubled past together, but Trace like a man was able to put all of this to one side and make a clear headed business decision. He came to me whilst I was still in a bad way, still on very shaky legs, and told me if and when I was ready to do so I still had a place here in the company. Well here I am. It's fair to say perhaps not in the best condition of my life, but I'm still here, broken back and all.
Alecia Matthews: That fall broke his back? Jesus.
Drakz: I'm here and I'm here to fight. Not for revenge or retribution, that can wait. I'm here to fight for fightings sake. I can't enter the Scars & Stripes battle royal as I've won it before......albeit I never got my title shot. Again that comes later. So I got to thinking what have I never done? I've won every title this company has to offer making me one of only 6 Grand Slam Champions. I've won the International Title not once but twice, and I was never defeated for the Heavyweight Championship. I'm in the Hall of Fame, hell I even ran this company once upon a time. What is there left for me to do? Well it came to me that there are still people I haven't beaten, people I haven't even had the chance to get in this ring with one on one. That's what I plan to do this time, that's my goal and it starts at Scars & Stripes. I'm personally going to drag people out of the ether, out of retirement, for the oppurtunity we never had the first time around. And what better way to start this mission of mine than to go straight to the man who has come so close to fighting me on so many occasions. What more could the millions of fans around the world ask for than to see me face a man who started in this company at the same time as me, rise the ranks like me and then go on to become the longest reigning Heavyweight Champion of all time? At Scars & Stripes I'm offering an open challenge to the Prophet of Ash, the King of Gore, the cursed....and currently on hiatus....Phillip Schneider.
He's back for five minutes and he's already calling me out. Because the first thing I'd do after returning from a broken back is challenge the most dangerous man in WFWF history...
Samael Ahriman: My God! What an announcement! Two legends of the company returning for Scars & Stripes!
Yeah? You think so?
Alecia Matthews: Do you think Drakz looks up to it though? He's lost a fair bit of weight these last 12 months. I mean most people in here didn't even recognise him just now.
Samael Ahriman: I was in that match Drakz mentioned 12 months ago and having wrestled this guy before I can assure you he'll be ready if he's openly announced something of this magnitude.
Drakz: Schneider I know you're watching somewhere, and I know you want this as much as I do, so make sure you're there on the night. Your contract may be done but we've got the owner's backing, so there are no excuses. It's about time we did this.
Sir yes sir. You say jump, I say
off.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
12/15/13
The cliffhanger from Revolution did something right. Drakz' promo sold at least one buy for the Scars and Stripes Pay Per View. I think this is the first time I've ever ordered a WFWF Pay Per View. Before working for them, I didn't have the money to waste on a wrestling PPV and after I left in 2008, I didn't care enough to actually order the shows. I only took the DVDs of the PPVs for my personal library of matches and now those are gone too. Most of the show has been uneventful, filled primarily with people I don't know, but I'd be lying if I claimed I was even halfway paying attention. I've mostly been watching stuff on Youtube. Sup Wreckless Eating? But my attention is drawn back to the screen, to the ring, where Christa Adina stands with a microphone in hand.
Christa Adina: The following match up is set for one fall and is a one time only WFWF dream match. Introducing first....
There's a dramatic pause. This is usually when entrance music hits. Should they be hitting my music? I dare you, hit “All or Nothing”, you'll have a lawsuit so fast it'll make your head spin from Tim Skold and/or KMFDM records. You think Tim Skold is amused by wrestling nonsense? Drakz comes out onto the stage. He's storming down the ramp with a look on his face look someone just raped his mother, recorded it, then sent him the video. And he hasn't bothered to actually dress for this match. Or maybe that's what he's wrestling in now. With the hobo beard, I wouldn't be surprised if he's wrestling in jeans and a t-shirt. Cut the jeans off and find a flannel shirt, Drakz, then you can steal Los Hobos gimmick out and out. He heads to the announce table and grabs a microphone, then rolls under the bottom rope and into the ring.
Alecia Matthews: Well this is unexpected. Why's he avoiding the ring?
Tabitha Owens: He seems to want to get something off his chest.
Drakz: So it seems ladies and gentlemen that Philip Schneider doesn't deem my challenge worthy of gracing us with his prescence.
Why is he saying my name funny? Is this a cool wHip scenario? Why is he only enunciating one of the Ls in Phillip? The crowd shares my anger in his false enunciation, booing ruthlessly.
Drakz: It strikes me that he's sulking, locked in his room with his Avril Lavigne CD playing full blast. Ever since his streak was broken by a girl he's dropped off the radar completely and by the looks of things he's not coming back, even if it's for something I know he holds in high esteem. I'm well aware of how much he wants this match but it seems he prefers hiding his head in the sand to having it driven into the mat these days.
Seems my head stands high and December in Chicago is too cold to be anywhere near a beach.
Drakz: I know, I know. How things have changed. The Obo of old would have jumped at the opportunity to get his ass kicked.
It amuses me when people stick to an old name, even without realizing what the three letters forming the acronym they're saying even mean. I was Obo for a little bit over three years. There's three letters that more accurately describe me now, WFWF. G-O-D.
Alecia Matthews: If Schneider's watching he won't be happy about this. Drakz is making fun of his legacy while he's not here to defend it.
Drakz: So it seems you won't be seeing me return to the ring tonight, which is as much a let down to myself as it is to you all. However I will be issuing an open challenge on the next Revolution to any superstar on the roster, or otherwise, to step up and take a match with me at the next Pay Per View, which of course is the big one. That which needs no naming.
Superbrawl. Way to promote the brand.
Tabitha Owens: An open challenge? This could be a chance for some of the new guys here to set their selves in the history books.
Alecia Matthews: Absolutely, it's well documented that Drakz has won match of the year a number of times. Win lose or draw this match could really put his opponent on the map.
Tabitha Owens: Can you imagine if they beat him? Now seems as good a time as ever as we all know from last week that Drakz is coming back off of a serious back injury.
Yeah, it'd be great if he made all this hype and was dropped by someone he never seen coming.
Drakz: So until then.....
He throws the microphone. That's a fine. I drift back off to focusing on things other than the show I paid so dearly to watch. But now I'm focusing on something much more important. I grab my phone and quickly dial Percy.
Hey Perce, you know anywhere to buy a gas mask?
Have you checked Amazon? Amazon has everything.
I haven't checked anywhere. I just know I need a gas mask.
I've been around you long enough that I'm not even going to bother to ask why. I'm at my computer right now so I'll search it up myself. …... I see an Israeli Civilian Gas Mask with Nato Filter for $28.25, a Bud K Russian gas mask with filter and bag for $9.49, a...
What color is the $9.49 one?
White with a gold end thing.
What color is the $28.95 one?
Black.
Order the black one, with overnight shipping. Use my Prime account.
Alright, now I feel like the responsible thing to do is to ask.. Why do you need a gas mask in a hurry?
Don't worry about it.
I am worried about it. I'm worried that I am going to be implicated in whatever you're planning on doing with this gas mask, by ordering it.. My IP address is going to be logged on this purchase.
It's nothing particularly illegal.
I'll take your word for it.. It's ordered. Says it'll be delivered Tuesday.
Tomorrow is Monday. That's not overnight.
It's like 10 PM dude. You missed the overnight time. Whatever you're planning, you should've planned it sooner.
Whatever, it's fine. I'll talk to you in the morning. Gonna watch the end of this show.
Later..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
3/4/14
Sam got her learner's permit a month ago and I haven't been out driving with her yet. Part of it is due to the winter we've been having. The layers and layers of snow and ice on the roads haven't been the kind of roads you want to go driving on at all, much less if you're just learning to drive. But that hasn't stopped her from getting a feel for the wheel. On the first weekend when I smacked the little dog Drakz and put him in his place, Samantha was driving around the empty school parking lot with Percy. For a half hour, apparently. Then again for another half hour around and round the parking lot, from one lot to another lot, then onto the backroads home. I suppose you could give me absentee father of the year award, because while I've been taking back my throne, my daughter has been learning to drive with my best friend.
She got home from school at three today. I sent her a text to be ready to go out driving. The last big storm didn't hit us hard. A wave of ice and freezing rain that's all gone now and minimal snow. She barely made it in the door and we were out again. She dropped off her backpack, I handed her the keys, and we were gone. She climbed into the driver's seat and moved my seat up.
Good day at school today?
I suppose. Kailyn fell in the hallway today. Tripped over her own two feet.
We're kind of jerky as we back up. Start, then stop, then start. We're turned. Into drive.. And down the drive way.
Derek was asking a bunch of stuff about your wrestling.
Who's Derek?
He's Kailyn's boyfriend.
Who's Kailyn?
She sighs, rolls her eyes and rolls her head as she does so, and turns on the turn signal. As we're turning, she awkwardly accelerates, then breaks. The process leads to a harsh shake. But we're gaining speed again and we're on the road. There's a thick silence in the car as we drive.
So what was Derek saying?
Stuff. Just wanted to know what was going on. He's been a wrestling fan for a while. I told him I didn't know anything.
What kind of stuff?
Just about you returning. About Chaemo. About Drakz..
She flips on the turn signal and we're off for another jerky stop and go turn and some swerving into the middle of the road.
Why are you turning like that?
Like what?
Like that. You're jerking it back and forth. Turn with the palm of your hand, and when you get turned, let go and let the steering wheel turn itself. It won't be so wobbly that way.
Okay.
Almost on cue, we turn again and she's holding the steering wheel tight. I give her a look and she lets go, then puts her right palm back on the wheel. We turn again and this time it's a fairly smooth turn.
That's better.
How long are you going back for?
What?
How long are you going back for? To WFWF. Is it just for Superbrawl?
I don't know.
Why are you going back? Is it for the money? Do we need the money? I can get a part time job to pay for my clothes and stuff. McDonalds is hiring. I could go work a few hours every day after school and on the weekends.
There's no need for that. I can support you.
By wrestling.
That's what I do.
She flips on the turn signal and we make a turn. She turns a little bit into the other side of the road, but we wobble and are back on our side of the road.
That's what I've always done.
And what are you going to do, when you can't wrestle any more? You know, if you get hurt or something. Or just get older. You can't walk half the time. Your shoulder pops out of place constantly. Your neck makes a horrible sound.. Your knees are hideous.
I'll figure it out. You're fifteen. It's not up to you to pay your own bills..
I'm just saying, I probably should. Your money from wrestling isn't going to last forever. And I don't want you to go back to wrestling.
So you're going to pay your own bills? Going to go get a part time minimum wage job and somehow afford rent, electricity, phone bill, food.. all on your own?
I'd like to help out...
She's losing acceleration. And she's swerving. She's gripping the steering wheel very tightly. She swerves right, then left to compensate and clips a mailbox.
Watch what you're doing! Not going to have you wrecking this car!
I am watching what I'm doing....
You just hit a mailbox!
You're making me nervous...
She flips on her right turn signal. We're no where near where she needs to turn.
What are you doing?
I'm going to park. You can drive back home..
Why?
Because I don't want to learn to drive any more.
Come on Sam.
She pulls into the parking lot and we slow down. She undoes her seat belt. She won't look at me.
Keep driving.. you're not going to learn without making mistakes.
You need to quit yelling at me. I'm not a little kid any more Dad.
You don't need to get a job.
I don't want you to wrestle any more. Just call it quits.. Retire. If Zmaster can retire, you can.
It's not that simple..
You've been retired for the last year and you've been perfectly happy. Then some guy says your name on TV and suddenly you're Mr. Olympia, training like Rocky and ready to come back? Why? Does your pride matter to you THAT MUCH that you couldn't just blow him off all together? Let him say whatever he was going to say? Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt? Do you really have to show everyone what you can do with your sticks and stones?
Samantha, this is my legacy..
I AM your legacy. I am going to be around a hell of a lot longer than the WFWF and whatever I do in MY LIFE will be forever connected to you. If I go on to be a doctor, I'll be Doctor Schneider, Phillip Schneider's daughter. If I'm the most famous musician in the word, the opening line in my Wikipedia will be a link to your's. The best I can even hope to do is get married and ditch your name.
She opens the door and hops out.
You can drive the car home. I'll figure out my own way there. See you at home. Or maybe not.
Sam, wait...
She's already pulled out her phone and is dialing someone as she walks away. She either can't hear me or is ignoring me but the fact remains, I'm alone in this parking lot. Abandoned.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
There are times where I really don't like myself. This isn't a set up line or something to a promo. There are times when I'm left alone with my own mind where I really don't like me. I don't like the person I am. And when I'm in this place, all alone, there's nothing I can do but loathe myself and bask in my self angst. There are times when I look in the mirror and I absolutely hate the person looking back at me.
This has been a running trend for most of my life, these moments of self hate. It's something I've learned to deal with and accept, “today's a day where I suck”. It's the polarity that comes with the fame, fortune, and celebrity. But if I was given the opportunity, I think I'd trade all of that for a balance. Because these times where I don't like me.. sometimes they don't just go away. Sometimes they last for days at a time and I go to a dark place. And I don't want to see people. I don't want to bring them into my dark place. I don't want them to see me in my dark place.
The weird thing about being back is suddenly I'm right back into the fold. I'm being contacted by people left and right looking for something for nothing from me. Most of them I turn down. Why should I give a damn what you're doing? But one in particular stuck out to me. Cameron Stone. You know, the guy who's an announcer now? He got a hold of me via Twitter before he even realized I was the one messing with Drakz and I blew him off, because I didn't want to show my hand. But now that the cat's out of the bag, I'm willing to at least listen to what he has to say.
I told him to meet me at this McDonalds. I don't like to go to more discreet meeting locations because it's harder to just get up and walk away if things go south. I'm sitting back sipping a chocolate covered strawberry latte. Strawberries and coffee do not go together. I'm sitting kind of near the door because the truth is, I really don't remember what Cameron Stone looks like. He says I wrestled him in one of his first matches in the WFWF and I tend to believe him. If it weren't for Percy's book keeping, I'd have no idea who I'd wrestled. A tall fellow in a thick winter coat strolls in. I'm almost sure it's him.
Chicago weather, huh?
Yeah, it's like being home. May I?
He points to the empty side of the table. I signal to go ahead.
So you needed my input about something?
Hardcore. I've kind of got a thing with Penny Shannon going on..
So you've seen her tumblr?
He smirks a little bit. I think that was worth a little bit more than a smirk, but whatever.
While we were in the UK, I listened to that radio interview you did and I feel like I'm a lot like you. Being typecast into the hardcore violent matches.. I feel like it shortened my career and I know I'm feeling a lot of the injuries from it. That's why I stepped away. Why I just do commentary now and occasionally battle royals and stuff. When I was doing all the violent matches, I was in a really dark place in my life. Now I have a girlfriend, I'm in a better place psychologically.. I don't want to do the really violent stuff any more..
Good for you.
But I've got this crazy bitch running around, attacking me, hitting me with weapons.. And I feel like I'm getting dragged back in. I don't want to go back to that dark place, you know?
So what do you want me to do?
I just wanted your advice on what to do.. To win the match without anyone getting really hurt
Walk into the ring, stare her down..
Yeah?
Walk to the center of the ring..
Yeah?
Hook your hands around the waistband of her tights and pants her in the center of the ring. Try to hook her panties too. And when you pull them down, rip them, so she can't just pull them back up. Rip her shirt off too. Get that little dyke completely naked.
What the hell, man?
You want to get out of there without getting hurt or hurting her, you're going to have to embarrass her. Otherwise, you're going to go in there, try to make it a wrestling match.. She's going to smash light tubes over your head, hit you with chairs, and toss you through panes of glass. That's what's going to happen.
So you don't know any way out, besides sexual assault?
Did you not see my match with Alexis? It was her final career match. It's kill or be killed out there and if you don't walk out there and wipe her out, she's going to wipe you out.
He seems a little bit disgusted and a little bit perplexed. He's trying to come up with what to say, I can tell.
She can hit me with light tubes all she wants, but if it comes down to it, I am a weapon. I don't need weapons. I am a destructive force that can whip through her. And I may not want to, but if I have to, I'll put her down. I just don't want to lose myself when it happens. I need to remember who I am, and why I'm doing this.
Why ARE you doing this?
Huh?
Why are you doing this? Wrestling at all any more? You're a young man and you've shown you've got a knack for commentary. But you're a young man that's already got a lot of injuries. Why risk your body, long term?
Same reason as you, I guess. Why do you do it?
Because I don't have anything else. Because I didn't go to college. Because I started wrestling when I was eighteen and it's all I've ever done in my adult life. You know how it looks on job applications when you have to put down “2003-2007, Pro Wrestler. 2007-2010, Unemployed. 2010-2013, Pro Wrestler” and that be your only job experience? I got turned down for working in an Amazon shipping facility, because they told me I was under qualified. I got turned down for working in a pizzeria man. This is it. This is all I have in life. But you.. You're bright. You're young. You've got miles left in your life. Get away. Just, go. Go and don't come back. Don't show up for Superbrawl. You don't have to be like me. You don't want to be like me. Because you can have that Grand Slam championship, but it doesn't pay the bills. You can't tell the banks “hey, I can't send you a check for the mortgage this month, but can you let me slide, I've held the WFWF World Heavyweight title longer than anyone else”. It doesn't work.
So you're saying I should just give up?
If you don't have that killer instinct to you any more, this isn't the job for you. If you don't think you can go out there and end whoever is in front of you, with whatever means necessary, then you just need to walk away, because believe me, there are wrestlers that look for weakness. They're going to be looking to make a name for themselves off of your name. Be remembered, or be forgotten.
It's the constant grind though. You took time off, you've got to understand how much wrestling week in and week out wears on you, physically and mentally..
Yeah, and it's pretty easy to walk away. You just grab whatever belongs to you and you go home. You don't come back. You don't wrestle any more. I stopped talking to anyone related to wrestling. I stopped talking to anyone, quite frankly. You've got other things in life. Work with them. Do the broadcast journalism thing. Make some real money and stop killing yourself.
I stand up, throwing my three fourths full latte into a near by trash can. He's just staring at me. I think he expected me to say something more important.
Or stay wrestling.. and live with whatever you do.. Choice is your's.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
4/1/14
An entry from Percy Jackson.
I've known Phillip Schneider for the better part of ten years. I remember the day he first got a hold of me, in fact. He had royally screwed something up and I was in a position where I could fix it. And while I've known Phillip Schneider to be many things, a fiend, a deviant, morbid, violent.. One thing I've never known him to be is particularly physically fit. He's always used more of a jiu jitsu approach, where it isn't size or strength that matters but leverage and skill. Particularly in the last year, he hasn't been eating like a pro athlete at all, instead gaining his nutrition from chips, soda, and cheeseburgers.
But the day after I ordered the gas mask for him from Amazon, I seen another order. In addition to a couple of low budget horror movies that always seem to find their way to Casa De Schneider was a 2 pound canister of chocolate Muscle Milk. And when I went to his house the next day, his refrigerator had suddenly been rehabilitated. Replacing the sodas were juices, replacing the chips were carrots, cucumbers, and broccoli. Replacing the Hot Pockets and jalapeno bites were a half gallon of pure egg whites and a large container of raw shrimp. And most shocking of all was a note on the fridge: gone running.
Seeing Phil change wasn't as dramatic of a change as his eating habits but as the weeks and days rolled away towards Superbrawl, so did his pounds. He went from a slightly overweight and out of shape ex wrestler to the best shape of his life. The runs he had been going on were brutal sprints, which he recovered from by resting in a tanning bed. In front of my eyes, Phillip Schneider was reinventing himself to the pro athlete he should've always been.
There's a certain determination in Phil's eyes that has been missing for a long time. The last time I seen it was heading into his match with Kyzer. That's also the last time I seen him do any training or preparation for a match. It seemed like after he won that match, his last real goal, the driving fire burnt out on him. He had nothing to work towards any more.
When Phil first told me he was returning to the WFWF at the end of 2010, I was questionable. I asked “why? What is there to prove?” At this point in the game, he and I were already the first tag team inducted into the Hall of Fame as Los Hobos, and had been inducted on his own merits as a singles competitor. He had won the World Heavyweight, International, and Tag Team titles, amongst a select group of performers to hold a WFWF Triple Crown. But that Triple Crown was haunting and taunting. It was an accomplishment that he didn't even like to have mentioned. Mention the World title, mention the International title, mention the three tag team title reigns.. But to mention them as a Triple Crown? That'd be grounds for a diatribe rant the likes only Phillip Schneider can provide.
When Phil returned, he had three things in mind. The first he targeted immediately. He wanted to squash the rumor of Trace Demon and put an end to this “new star”. He won. But winning the match did little but ignite what became one of WFWF's most personal feuds in recent memory, a feud that primarily took place outside of the ring. The second target? The National title. This was a weird one. A two time Hall of Famer, former Heavyweight champion, one of the best there's ever been in the WFWF.. Should've been a legitimate contender for the World Heavyweight title but was instead challenging for the National title? The lowest title in the federation?
On November eleventh two thousand eleven, the historical 11/11/11, on a sixteen match winning streak, Phillip Schneider challenged for the WFWF National championship for the first time, walking into the biggest show of the year, Superbrawl VII, to challenge rising star Hutton Brown. To squash a controversy of the physical championship belt being stolen, the winner of the match would be determined by “finder's keeper's, loser's weepers rules”, as in, the possession is nine tenths of the law. The winner of the match would be the man to retrieve the physical championship belt from above the ring by climbing a ladder.
And for the first time since returning to the WFWF, Phillip Schneider lost.
You have to understand what losing this match did to my friend. He had laid out “the way things were going to be” before returning. He was going to run rough shot through the federation, showing everyone who doubted him that he was, in fact, one of the best there's ever been and in the process, one of his biggest bullet points was erasing the asterisk on his page in history, that being that he never held a lower card title.
Now before we go any further, I'd like to emphasize the point that on 11/11/11, at Superbrawl VII, that was the first shot Phil had HAD at any lower card title. The Television title, the National title, the Asshat title, the Meggalicious title, the Hardcore X title, at every point that these titles existed, Phil was either preoccupied with other matters (our Hall of Fame tag team, which I appreciate) or was considered “above” the titles and it was never even a second thought to put him in these feuds. And until it BECAME a second thought, that he DIDN'T have the needed title to become a Grand Slam champion, no one even looked into it.
Going into Superbrawl VII, it was pretty much assumed that this was Phillip Schneider's night. This was the night that he was going to become a Grand Slam champion, once and for all. And when the dust settled and Hutton Brown was still the National champion, the thought around WFWF offices as well as the Schneider camp was “well, I guess it'll never happen”.
It's been a while. We're now on the road to Superbrawl VIII. Since the last Superbrawl, Phil managed to eliminate two “WFWF bucket list” items in one shot, regaining the WFWF World Heavyweight title for a second time and defeating Michael Kyzer, in route to becoming the longest reigning champion in the company's illustrious history. It's peculiar that he was able to carry this three hundred and sixty seven day reign, and then take thirteen months off from the ring, all before a second Superbrawl passed since the night that haunts him.
But here we are, the second consecutive Superbrawl with Phillip Schneider challenging for the WFWF National championship. Except this time.. this time it's different. Phil's not on a nearly year long winning streak. In fact, he's possibly the only person in WFWF history to be coming into a Pay Per View title match on two consecutive losses. While one wasn't Phil himself competing, it was his people competing on his behalf and the record books read a loss regardless. The unusual circumstances don't end there, though. There isn't a champion going into Superbrawl. Issac Cray, to those who know him professionally, Drakz, is not the champion coming into this match..
But this match.. this match kind of leaves the championship as an afterthought.
By the time I entered the WFWF about two months after Phil, Drakz had already debuted. The chronology of our married trio goes Phil, Drakz, and then myself, all within a few weeks of one another. Three WFWF Hall of Famers debuting within the span of a calendar month. Look at the people who have joined the WFWF within the last month. Can you pick three of them who are Hall of Fame bound? But despite this, Superbrawl VIII will be the first encounter between Phillip Schneider and Drakz.
Superbrawl VII was Phil's first match for a lower card championship in the WFWF and on the cards where Obo the Hobo and myself were in tag team matches, it was Drakz filling the role of low card champion. When it was Phil & I in Money..Cash...HoBOS comedy.. it was Drakz challenging for the International title. So while Phil and I found ourselves occupied with the tag team titles, that being the reason Phil “missed out” on the National title, for the same reason.. This is the first match up between Drakz and Phil.
For over a decade, two wrestlers have co-existed in rival environments. Their list of noteworthy adversaries is almost identical. Tha CBT, Zmaster, Trent Draven, Wayne McGuirk, Michael Kyzer, the same names used to tell the story of Phillip Schneider are used to tell the story of Drakz. Yet somehow, these two men have not crossed paths.
I don't know where the WFWF is going to be in ten years. I don't know if there's going to BE a WFWF in ten more years. There are times where I'm genuinely shocked that it's the year 2014 and the WFWF is still around. Will it be around for twenty five years? It's possible. But for a match as big as the one scheduled for Superbrawl VIII, for this meaningless low card title.. it'll take until WFWF's silver anniversary. For a match with these same parallels, the WFWF will have to nearly double in age, because in 2014, there is no unique match up with this much history behind it.
Could it have been thrown away on a TV show with no build? Sure. But for the last few months, I've heard every concievable reason for that theory's stupidity from Phil and I don't particularly wish to open that pandora's box again myself. Could this match have been a hotshot match for Scars and Stripes? Yeah, and people were excited about it then.. But now, now we walk into the biggest show of the year, the eighth installment of WFWF Superbrawl, the mega show. The show to trump all shows.. And we have this match, a match that at so many times, people thought would never happen.
Phillip Schneider versus Drakz.
Are you excited?
Are you ready?
I am.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tonight.. Tonight is the night that the skies will open and spill forth all the hate and anger that has built up. Tonight is the night that the innocents will be poisoned once more. Tonight is the night that we step forward into the future and the future is bleak.
They’ve been talking since I left. They’ve been saying things that they think they can get away with in my absence. I have eyes and ears everywhere and I know what happens.. And I’ve been keeping a tally. Like a debt collector, every little thing is marked down. Dates, times, and individual instances.. Now the night has come that I collect on these debts, with force and with interest.
I've sat back and watched as the people talked and they said things that just aren't true. I've seen people who ducked their heads and turned the other way when I walked by now claiming they run this town. You know who you are and when I finish the business at the forefront, if I catch you saying this malarkey, I WILL cut your face off and go as you for a future Halloween. I've seen the people who I beat senseless disappear, both accomplice and enemy. Meg, Pierce Deville, Alexis, Tommy Staxx.. They all disappeared from the WFWF scenery shortly after I did, or before I did never to return and thus they cannot blame their absence on me.. Or the foes I vanquished. Hutton Brown. I really did expect Hutton Brown to suddenly find a set of testicles, stuff them between his legs where his balls would exist if I hadn't castrated him, and show back up claiming he was always down. But I think deep down inside he knew I'd show back up and slap him like the over worked, under paid prostitute he is. I'd slap him across the face and demand money from him because he is my whore and he knows this.
I expected Kyzer to come back. You know, to rewrite history.. Claim he's still the baddest around. But again, my personal bitch. Kyzer is a lot like Meg. I slapped her around a few good times and sprayed her with my seed and she knew exactly where she belonged and who she belonged to and accepted her position as my subordinate. I may as well have tattooed “whore” across her forehead so that everywhere she went, everyone she encountered could know exactly what she is. And Kyzer is exactly the same. And Brennan.. Brennan was too scared to even take the lashes he had coming to him and when Kyzer ran for the hills, Brennan hopped on the back of the turnip truck and was on his way out of town.
Drakz, what you're doing.. It's dumb. It's absolutely idiotic. It's your first day in prison and you walk up and punch the biggest guy in the yard in the face to establish yourself. And then you get killed. But unlike the naive fresh meat prisoner, you don't have the ignorance is bliss defense. You know who I am and you know what I do. You know I took your good buddy Kyzer, the wild stallion.. The bad mother f**ker that couldn't be tamed. And I rode that horse. I rode him like a whore and I broke his spirit. Kyzer was never the same again. You think he had this sudden vision to get clean and break your back on a spur of the moment? It's because I broke him. I turned his world upside down and inside out. Everything he knew was a lie so he had to grasp things he didn't know, and it destroyed him. Drakz, are you willing to make that same sacrifice?
David Brennan wasn't. David Brennan seen “hey, this Schneider cat is a pretty bad dude” and when I offered him a nice consolation prize for winning Survival of the Fittest of some imported alcohols and brews.. He took it and ran. Because he's not an idiot. Drakz, are you an idiot? Are you barking up my tree for a gift basket? You've earned nothing and I'm going to give you less. You walk away empty handed or I'll rip your hands off and smack you with them. Both hands, across both sides of your face. I'll smack you like the whore you are.
Let's cut the bulls**t Drakz. Let's get rid of the bulls**t and smoke and mirrors that you've tossed up, because the smoke and mirrors just don't impress me. I can see through the smoke and mirrors and I see a shallow man. I see a shallow broken man who is grasping at the straws of his past, doing the only thing he knows and the only thing he was ever good at. Drakz, your persona doesn't impress me and it doesn't scare me. The legend of Drakz is a farce. You beat cowards for every accolade you ever earned. Am I supposed to be impressed that you beat Ray Smith? Johnny Michaels? Immune? Saku?
I'm willing to destroy my past to build my future..
You come back and you pander to these people and you're cracking jokes. You're a good guy now Drakz and the people appreciate that but what I see as you cleaning up and flying the straight and narrow, I see as weakness. I see the old Drakz is dead and buried and frankly, that's disappointing. This new Drakz is a pathetic excuse of a man. I walked in front of you and I taunted you with your old gimmick and when you took a swing at me, I destroyed you. My MINIONS destroyed you. The underlings I have handle my pettiest of deeds laid waste to you. These derelicts of society that I paid an absolute minimum ripped you apart, Drakz.
I realized something long ago. I realized that I'm not a good person. I'm not a good person, I'm not a nice person, and I'm not a pleasant person and I accept that. I accept that I wear the black hat. I'm evil. I'm the bad guy. Drakz, I accept that and I can harness that. I don't walk out there to make jokes and garner the cheers of the crowd. I go out there to make money to support my family. I go out there and I hurt people. I hurt people so that my daughters will never have to do the reprehensible things I've done in my life. I inflict nightmares and I infect those around me, dragging them into my world. You think your buddy Kyzer wanted to walk into the barbed wire purgatory that I dragged him into in Japan? Hutton Brown specifically begged that he didn't want to be in my world because he KNEW my world would be the death of him. And Hutton Brown isn't stupid. He was right. I ended him. I am morally corrupt. I am the antithesis of everything nice and well in the world. I do not care about your well being. I see you as standing between me and my next payday.
Why do you have a problem with me? Why is my name the name that came off your lips first? I'm trying hard to grasp this Drakz because see, if I was laid out for a year of my life, I'd be gunning for the person who took me out first and foremost. And it's not like you were focused solely on the people in this federation, because rabble rabble, WRESTLING MATCH rabble rabble, because I wasn't in this god forsaken place when you came back, until you dragged me back. You could've said any name. You could've called out Zmaster. Why didn't you call out Zmaster? Why didn't you say “you know what Scarlett Quinn, I'm going to beat your ass and take your title”. Reverend Shadow, Solomon, Dex, Joe Bishop, Andrew Carter, Jay Money. Any of them would've been a better option than me. At least when they beat you they would be merciful and not cripple you.
So tell me Drakz, why was my name the name you said? Because we'd never worked? Because I ruined your world by running off your friends? If you think about it Drakz, indirectly, I DID break your back. Yeah, it was Kyzer's hands.. But I broke Kyzer. I tamed that wild stallion and I confused him. Up is down and left is right and instead of turning from a womanizer into a twink like I expected him to do, he went from being a junkie to being Mr. Clean Living.. and beating up his junkie friends. And David Brennan.. He wasn't there to say “hey guys, this probably isn't such a good idea” because I spooked him too.
When you walked out into that ring just before Scars and Stripes, you signed your own death certificate. You wrote you name on the line and signed it as your own coroner. But it's not a shotgun blast to the face. No, what you did is more like taking a syringe filled with AIDS blood and inject it directly into your arm. Yeah, you're going to die, but it's not an instantaneous death. It's a slow, painful, and unpredictable death. You rattled my chain, Drakz. I am the big dog of this yard and you walked up and pretentiously thought you were on my level. And then you're surprised when I knocked you down?
The road to Superbrawl's been a crimson road, lined with your plasma but stupidly, you still keep limping along. You keep coming. I knock out one leg and you hobble on the second. Superbrawl, it isn't going to be gas masks, smoke rising from the floor, flash mob sneak attacks.. It's not going to be about weapons, either. Superbrawl, you and I are going to step inside of the ultimate proving ground, between those ropes and inside of the twenty by twenty squared circle and with my bare hands I am going to break you. I am going to beat you like a whore and I am going to leave you for dead. It's 1965, Drakz. You're Sonny Liston and I'm Muhammed Ali.
Let's talk about the National title. You feel like throwing that element in. Because when I'm willing to knock you out cold with nothing on the line, I really need motivation to do it. I really need a reward to do it. You're not a stupid man. You've seen what I've done for that championship and inspired by that championship in the past. I stabbed Hutton Brown in the hand, broke his elbow, attacked him with a snake and ultimately tried to end his career with a Beverly Kills 90210 off of a ladder. Hutton thought playing the mind games with me over the National title was a good idea too. You see Hutton around any more?
I'm the forgotten one, Drakz. I always have been. I've always been the one looked over for the big match opportunities, either because “oh, he's just a tag team wrestler” or “oh he's not ready” or my favorite one, “oh, he has attitude problems”. The fact of the matter is, the very first opportunity I had at championship gold, I won. Tag team three way Hell in a Cell. I had been with the company mere weeks and I was the main event. Very first opportunity I had at singles gold, I won. I beat Okana and I won the International title. And that match.. it's not on the record books, it's not written in history, BECAUSE DRAKZ AND MICHAEL KYZER TOOK OVER THE OWNERSHIP AND SAID IT NEVER HAPPENED!
And then.. the first opportunity at the “Ham Shank” title.. I won. The first time I was the challenger for the WFWF World Heavyweight title, I won. The first time I faced Michael Kyzer, I won and as the record books show, I am the only person who officially holds two wins in this company over Kyzer. Drakz, you can talk and talk and say that “oh, I've done what you haven't, I'm a former National champion” but the fact remains that until I faced Hutton Brown at Superbrawl, I had never competed for the title. And to win.. Hutton didn't pin me. He didn't submit me. He didn't win by disqualification and he didn't win by count out. He did not knock me out and the referee did not rule me unable to continue. He climbed a ladder and pulled a belt down.
You're kidding yourself if you think I couldn't have beat “Man of the Hour” Josh, Dr. Macabre, Meg, Possessed Child, or one of the other faceless people who have held the title during my time around it. The fact is, I was considered “above the title” just like I am now.. You lost your title to CBT, Drakz. I've beaten CBT SEVEN DIFFERENT TIMES. I am seven and zero against CBT. We had seven matches, I defeated him all seven times. Decisively, I am better than CBT.
Drakz, this is the biggest match in WFWF history. This is the match that sold Superbrawl. And this match will go down in history as the match that everyone remembers, as your final match.
There is a darkness in humanity that has manifested itself in a lust for blood throughout the ages. The Old Testament and ancient myths catalog murder and revenge as part of the fabric of life in ancient times. Kane slay Abel. Rommulus slay Rammus.
Phillip Schneider slay Drakz.
