Revolution RP - Cup Of Coffee

[slappy]

Detective Bernard Faber returned to his cluttered desk, which along with a computer had a large stack of files and papers on it, with a cup of coffee. There was barely any room to set the cup down. He began typing and taking a few sips of the coffee. A tad more bitter than usual he thought but it still beats going to Starbucks. He continued typing when his phone rang.

"This is Detective Faber. How may I help you?"

"Hello, Detective. It's Chase Landon."

"Hello, Chase. I'm glad you called. We need to talk about you coming in to talk with us."

"That's why I called. I'm sorry I missed our last appointment. I've been incredibly busy and just haven't had the time to stop in. I should have some time next week. How's Friday?"

"Friday works for me. Stop in any time. If I'm not here the front desk will call me and I'll be right in."

"Alright. Thank you Detective."

"You're welcome and thank you. Good bye."

"Good bye."

As he hung up, Detective Alden "Flash" Cooke sat down at his desk which was opposite Detective Faber's. He was given the nickname "Flash" after a flash drive as he was the most technologically savvy of the older detectives.

"Who was that?"

"Chase Landon."

"Oh yeah? What'd he want?"

"He said he'd be coming in on Friday to talk with us."

"Sure he will. I won't hold my breath."

"I'm not too optimistic either but we still have to be ready in case he does show up. Say, what are you doing?"

Cooke was focused on his computer. "One second." He was silent for a moment. "Come check this out. This was uploaded to Youtube a few hours ago."

Faber was puzzled. "Greek Gift Sacrifice? What kind of video title is that?"

"It's the name of a chess move where you sacrifice a bishop."

Faber was still puzzled. "What does that have to do with what you are showing me?

Cooke shrugged. "Beats me but it's a video of Chase Landon."

Cooke clicked the full screen option and they watched as who they knew as Chase Landon sat on a floor with a blood soaked t-shirt wrapped around his hand.

"Don't mind my hand. I had an accident. Don't worry. I'll be fine. My hand will heal and all that will remain is a scar. Everyone will be able to see the scar and they'll wonder how I got it. It's no big deal. I have plenty of scars but no one ever wonders about those. People never wonder about the mental scars others have. They just go along their merry way and convince themselves as long as they can't see the problem they don't have to worry about fixing it. That's ok though. I don't need anyone trying to fix me. If I'm not seeking help for what you all can see then I see no need to seek help for what is unseen.

I'll always have this scar and at Revolution I'll give Joe Bishop one that people can stare at. Now I know he too has mental scars so maybe we can connect in a way. A connection with another person. Isn't that something. I'm connecting with my opponent. Yet I cannot connect with my partner Jason Garrett. I wonder why that is. Maybe because he's all Hollywood and glamorous and I sit here with a future scar on my hand.

We are in a ladder match at SuperBrawl. This is my second Pay Per View and I will be competing in my second ladder match. The first one I lost to Reverend Shadow. You know him well, Bishop. You lost to him too but you got pinned. I simply didn't climb a ladder fast enough. So with that experience now I know what it takes to win a ladder match and I will climb up that ladder and retrieve those tag belts.

And at SuperBrawl, you, Bishop, will be facing Yukio Blaze. I've faced him as well. I nearly beat him but in the end I didn't. But now I know what it takes to beat him. But here's the thing, Bishop. I won't be telling you what it takes. I'll let you figure that out on your own."

Landon stood up and removed the shirt from his hand to reveal the deep gash that crossed his knuckles and the back of his hand.

"As for this, Bishop." He held his hand to the camera. "This will heal. But what I do to you." He smirked. "You will never heal from that."

The video ended and the detectives looked at each other bewildered.

"This kid is nuts."

"Maybe we should get a padded cell ready."

They both laughed. Detective Faber sat back down at his desk. He picked up his cup of coffee and took a drink.

"Ah, damn. It's cold. I have to go warm this up. I'll be back. Oh, real quick though. Can you go over this file for me?" He handed Cooke a folder.

"Sure thing Bernie."

"Thanks Flash."

[Rated R]

So first off let me say the dialogue was good enough, the monologue was solid and there wasn't all that much wrong with the writing itself. My problem was that the piece came off as filler. Like I said in your last RP you have to make sure that everything you do counts, no wasted scenes, aside from the monologue I felt like everything you did here, namely introducing two detectives, could have been done in the setup of a much more interesting RP. As it is I didn't get a lot out of this, which is a shame since your actual writing seems to be coming along.

[slappy]

Mar 17, 2014 12:59:36 GMT -5 Rated R said:

So first off let me say the dialogue was good enough, the monologue was solid and there wasn't all that much wrong with the writing itself. My problem was that the piece came off as filler. Like I said in your last RP you have to make sure that everything you do counts, no wasted scenes, aside from the monologue I felt like everything you did here, namely introducing two detectives, could have been done in the setup of a much more interesting RP. As it is I didn't get a lot out of this, which is a shame since your actual writing seems to be coming along.

It was filler but I still really enjoyed this piece.

I had thought a few shows ago that we had one show until the PPV when it turned out we had two. So that kinda threw a wrench in my plans.