Coming to you live from the WFWF Headquarters in sunny Los Angeles, California, this is the Tag Team Tournament Pick-Em Show!
DJS and Jayson Garrett stand inside a studio, DJS wearing jeans and a pullover hoodie, Garrett wearing a sweater over a shirt and tie with suit pants. Jayson Garrett: Welcome one and welcome to the WFWF Studio. I am of course Jayson Garrett, standing to my right is my tag team partner, one-half of Hollywood Unhinged 2.0, Diamond Jack Sabbath.
DJS: Good to be here mate, for a hell of an occasion too I'd say.
Jayson Garrett: That it is, because tonight we are going to be unveiling the six teams that will be partaking in this tag team tournament. Diamond, would you care to explain the festivities?
DJS: Of course. There are ten names in the lottery machine, two by two they will be selected at random, those two will be partners. The process continues until no one remains and the six teams are selected. Now, I know what you're all saying right now. "Six teams, but you said there's only ten names?" That is true, but the first team to be announced will be the two men that stand in front of you right now. Hollywood Unhinged 2.0 is in, and I'd say our odds don't look too bad.
Jayson Garrett: Agreed, they look pretty damn good if I do say so myself. But what's a tournament without a prize at the end?
DJS: What a prize it is, eh? The winners will take over as the new WFWF Tag Team champions.......we think. Should keep everyone's eyes on the prize.
Jayson Garrett: Or in typical WFWF fashion all the makeshift teams kill each other from within and we waltz into the title match.
DJS: Yes, but where's the fun in that?
Jayson Garrett: Valid point. Well here's the lottery machine, Diamond, please do the honors of drawing our first team.
DJS: Gladly.
DJS makes his way over to the machine where he pulls a knob at the side that allows two balls to pop out. He picks them up.
DJS: And here we are, the first random team pairing, Jon Gotch and Axel Thornstowe.
Jayson Garrett: Gotch had his debut at End Game, Axel wrestled Shapiro.
DJS: Yeah, but those two matches weren't favorable for the two lads. They'll have to step their game up.
Jayson Garrett: They both seem pretty odd too, just a touch out there.
DJS: Yeah, but let's be honest, that's probably because no one's given a damn about their feelings. Hell, they might be like one of those weird goth couples that seemed to be a trope in every American high school.
Jayson Garrett: Yep, they were everywhere here. I still remember the couple from my high school, they acted like vampires, biting each other's necks, that kind of stuff.
DJS: If they start that with each other I swear to god I will head back to London.
Jayson Garrett: I'd keep a plane ticket handy. They're loose cannons, but these guys can fight though I'll say. It'll take some incredible performances to win this tournament, make or break time for them. On to the next team.
It's Jayson's turn to pick a team. He twists the knob and two more balls pop up. Jayson Garrett: Team number three, none other than Michael Kyzer and Ante Whitmer.
DJS: Bit of youth and veteran experience here. How often do you think Kyzer and Ante will butt heads?
Jayson Garrett: Oh dear, constantly. You think Ante's gonna do something stupid that almost kills him?
DJS: Is that even a question anymore? He's batsh*t insane, I'm sure if the opportunity presents itself he'll do something reckless.
Jayson Garrett: How about the DMK-Kyzer subplot, bit of history there? You think that might be enough to explode itself?
DJS: It'll be worth watching at least. Anything with the KoKaine guys is something to watch, though this adds fuel to the fire.
Jayson Garrett: Ante tried to hold on to the title that Nikki Dean is keeping warm for you at End Game, Kyzer beat Daniel Kirkbride, but what's important is Ante and Kyzer not killing each other while they compete together.
DJS: A fine point, wouldn't mind getting my hands on the guy who thought the National Championship was his. Regardless, these guys could be a team to keep watch on, for good reasons or bad.
Jayson Garrett: Indeed, it should be interesting to see if they can mesh. Team number four, coming right up.
Jayson walks over again to the machine and two more names come out. Jayson Garrett: How about the two new guys on the block? Lucas Crowe and Johnny Hess.
DJS: Double debut, huh, this might be fun to watch.
Jayson Garrett: Hess is a Canadian brawler, from Toronto I believe.
DJS: Actually, he's from Winnipeg.
Jayson Garrett: Close enough. But that fits even better, nothing like a tag team that stems from the cultural cesspools of Detroit and Winnipeg.
DJS: I'd take my chances in Detroit over Winnipeg, to be frank.
Jayson Garrett: Is Winnipeg really that bad? Because the slums in Detroit, those are something to behold. Your alarm clock might as well be when the gunshots stop because when the sun comes out the thugs scurry off the streets.
DJS: Not just bad, mate, but dull. If you can imagine Minnesota, but with gangs, and absolutely nothing going on like in Gary, Indiana, that's Winnipeg.
Jayson Garrett: Gary, Indiana, that's a town alright. When'd you go there?
DJS: Amy and I drove through on our way to Chicago once. Industrial wasteland as far as the eye could see with the most horrendous looking suburbs off of the highway.
Jayson Garrett: Pretty damn accurate. Regardless, having looked at some interviews with them, they've got into some fights, which in itself doesn't shock me with their situation.
DJS: Don't know about you Jayson, but I think they'll get involved in some in-fighting over who's the alpha dog of the team.
Jayson Garrett: Years of reigning on blacktops will give you that ego, we'll see what they do.
DJS: Time will certainly tell. On to team number five.
DJS strolls over to the machine once again and two names pop out. DJS: Trace Demon and Nikki Dean.
Jayson Garrett: Two people that I'd say took some of the worst beatings at End Game. Both of them came out on top.
DJS: Personal note here, hate to draw attention away from the tournament, I'd like to take a quick moment to say that Nikki, if our respective teams meet, I'm going to show you exactly why I'm going to take that title off of your waist. Assuming Trace doesn't kill you while you're partners.
Jayson Garrett: I must say though, this is one of the more interesting teams. Yes you have the contrast of someone loved by the crowd compared to someone hated, but it appears these two have settled their respective issues with their End Game opponents.
DJS: While Nikki's got someone waiting in line right now, I'll certainly agree in that we saw Trace wounded, battered, and bloodied. He's good, we can agree to give him credit where credit's due, but whoever his first round opponent is has to know that his fresh scars need to be a target.
Jayson Garrett: And while Nikki may have bigger balls than her husband, I don't think that she alone can save Trace from a huge amount of punishment.
DJS: Crazier things have happened, but I tend to agree with you here. She's a fighter, and a champion, but they're both wounded and they'll need to crank it up to 11. Will they have enough to?
Jayson Garrett: Jack, I'm really enjoying this.
DJS: I am too mate, but we're drawing to a close here.
Jayson Garrett: Sadly we are, just two names remain in that machine.
DJS: Shall I do the honors?
Jayson Garrett: The honors are all yours.
DJS makes the final walk over to lottery machine and the final two balls shoot up. DJS: The final team, Tugarin Zmey and Drakz.
Jayson Garrett: If you wear a shirt to the ring every now and then that, on the back, says "Not a bitch like Drakz", I'm going to go out on a limb and say that if you're partners now, you won't exactly have that team chemistry like we will.
DJS: Forgot about that shirt, but you know what shirt I didn't forget about? The newest Hollywood Unhinged shirt, get it tonight, help to line our pockets with the royalties.
Jayson Garrett: Nice plug.
DJS: I do what I can.
Jayson Garrett: I personally know both these men rather well. I had a match for the world title the Drakz currently holds if you'll recall and have had a series of matches with Zmey.
DJS: Should I remind everyone that may have forgotten that the last time you and he squared off in singles action you beat him?
Jayson Garrett: I think you just did, which I appreciate.
DJS: Of course. Drakz is another man that is seriously wounded after his battle like some of the other blokes we've mentioned before and has his title missing too. I think that might weigh heavily on his mind at Ascension, and perhaps longer than that, assuming they don't face us and get knocked out in round one.
Jayson Garrett: Fantastic point. With both of the representing members of the KKK with partners that perhaps aren't the most seamless fit, that makes for two very interesting teams.
DJS: In addition to that, but if they face off in the tournament, you have to assume that Zmey will get turned loose by DMK.
Jayson Garrett: DMK is just that insane that he'd probably turn Zmey on Ante just to prove a point, didn't really expect there to be more in-fighting inside another stable that's actually been around the block now too.
DJS: It would certainly be an interesting situation to see. For the glory or for the team?
Jayson Garrett: That question may be asked and we'll certainly find out the answers during these next several shows. What'd you think of the field Jack?
DJS: I think there's a clear favorite. Anyone that stands in our path for the gold is going to perish, are they not?
Jayson Garrett: That sounds like exactly what will go down. To the other five teams, you've been officially noticed. May your defeats be swift and may you strive for second. For my English friend Diamond Jack Sabbath, I'm Jayson Garrett, good night.
DJS and Garrett mumble a few words to themselves before walking off the set as we fade to black. In Summary:
Jayson Garrett & Diamon Jack Sabbath
John Gotch & Axel Thornstowe
Michael Kyzer & Ante Whitner
Lucas Crowe & Johnny Hess
Trace Demon & Nikki Dean
Drakz & Tugarin Zmey